Chapter Text

LOOK AT ME

Beta Read by Rosie

Chapter 1

Stand by Your Man

"Look… at… me."

Severus' fingers tightened in Harry's hair as his life bled out of him. Too late, too much lost to ever heal the boy he had devoted his life to, but at least, in the end, he would spend the last moments of his life in his arms. It was more than he had dared hope for.

Harry murmured through hitching breaths, "Hold on. It's going to be okay."

Severus blinked tears away. The world didn't work that way, but Harry's Gryffindor optimism even in the face of death had always been one of his best qualities.

"Y-yes. O… okay."

That was it. All he had left. No time remained for apologies or regrets, no time to tell this boy how much he had always admired him.

Severus would tell him soon, when Harry walked across that bridge to join him beyond. Severus would wait for him.

'Hold on, Harry. Soon, all this pain will end.'

He only wished it might have ended differently, at least for his charge. 

"I've got you, sir," Harry murmured against his hair. "Shh. I'm here. I'll hold you…."

Severus' breath rushed out and his vision went dark. Over. It was over now. All he could do was drift and wait.

'I will wait for you there, Harry. Gods, forgive me.'

He faded into unconsciousness to the sound of Harry's voice.

"...Until the end."

'Always.'

It was over. Harry had defeated the supreme bastard—well, more like the bastard had defeated himself—and now, there was nothing else to do but round up the remaining survivors and bury the dead. Ron, Ginny, and Hermione stood around Fred's still form, sniffling and trying to hold George together. He stepped back to let them grieve. Much as he had loved Fred, it wasn't his brother lying cold.

No, his devotion lay with someone else. Someone who had no one left in the world to mourn him but Harry.

He turned away and dragged himself to the doors. If nothing else, Snape deserved to be honoured in death the way he should have been in life. Harry would see to it that he got the burial and legacy his courage had earned him.

Even if he had to do it alone.

Wait. Was he alone?

He turned and frowned to find a red-haired female closing in on him. 

"Harry! Wait a minute."

Something inside him chafed at the delay. He had a mission to attend to.

"What?"

"Where are you going?"

Harry knew better than to tell her the truth. "To check for more survivors."

She wiped her eyes. "You—you won't stay with me? I mean—I thought you would want to…."

Harry suppressed a spark of irritation. Ginny wasn't herself. 

"Not until I know we've saved as many as we could."

"Oh. Well, I'll go with you then."

Like hell. 

Harry shook his head. "Your family needs you. Molly, especially. Your place is here."

She gave a little pout. "But we're supposed to be together!"

"Ginny, please. I don't have the strength to argue. Please, just stay with your mum."

"But—"

Molly called, "Ginny, Harry, come here, dears. We should be together right now."

Ginny huffed. "See?" 

Harry went to Molly. "There are still people who might need help. And I need to help them."

Molly blinked hard and rubbed his cheek. "I see. Go, then, and may Merlin guide your feet to those in need."

Ginny gasped. "Mum! But—well, then I want to go, too!"

"Ginny. We are to stay together now." The firm tone of her father's voice put an end to her resistance, thank Merlin.

"Yes, Dad." She crossed her arms and glowered, but didn't try to follow Harry again.

Hermione took his hand. "Do you need us to…?"

He shook his head and guided her back. "Ron needs you. Stay here. I'll be okay."

Hermione sniffled and nodded. "Okay, but at least take this." She slipped her beaded bag from over her shoulder and put it on Harry like a messenger bag. "There's still some dittany in there, and a few general healing potions. Maybe some gauze and bandages, too. I think I have some blood replenisher left as well, and—"

He kissed her cheek. "Thanks. This might save lives." Even if he knew full well it was too late for the one he wanted to save most. "I'll be back later."

"Good luck, mate."

Harry nodded to Ron and slipped away. Luna found him at the door, and Harry nearly cursed to be interrupted again, but she didn't interfere. 

"I brought this back for you." She held up a bolt of silvery cloth. "We'll need it if we're to save him in time."

Harry's heart stuttered. "S-save him?"

"Oh, yes, there's still time for the headmaster, but not much, so we had better just put this on and slip away before anyone else stops us."

Harry could have kissed her. "Oh, thank the gods!" He dropped the cloak over them both, grabbed her hand, and dragged her away from the others.

Time—was it possible? Could Snape really still be alive?

Harry prayed Luna's otherworldly knowledge would prove prophetic this time, too, and raced flat-out towards the Whomping Willow.

'Hold on, sir. Just a bit longer. This time, I swear, I'm going to save you.'

He hoped he could keep that promise and careened off into the night.

"He's alive!" Harry staggered into the Infirmary, bearing Snape in his arms, and gasped for breath. "Madam Pomfrey! He's alive!"

She looked up from an injured Blaise Zabini, who had fought on their side, and gasped. "Severus? Harry, what in Merlin's name are you doing with h—"

Harry scowled. "He's alive, ma'am, but only just, and he needs help!"

Pomfrey's mouth fell open, the clearest sign of shock Harry had ever witnessed on her features.

"For Merlin's sake." Harry spotted an empty bed and set the headmaster upon it. "Snap out of it, ma'am!"

Pomfrey shook herself. "Oh, don't put him there, Harry. I—"

Harry glared and snapped, "He's not a Death Eater, ma'am! Dumbledore set up his own death. Snape tried his best to save him, but when he couldn't, they had no choice but to do what they did so Snape could keep Voldemort from killing all the muggleborns and Gryffindors in Hogwarts. He's a spy and a hero, not a traitor, and he saved us all. Help him!"

"Harry, dear, that's not what I—"

Harry carried on doggedly. "He's the bravest of us all, ma'am!" 

Luna nodded from his left. "The headmaster always has loads of pinklewinkles around him, ma'am, just like Harry. He has so much love in his heart but no one to give it to. No one believes in him, you see, and so, he had to fight the war alone."

"Not anymore." Harry lay his precious burden gently on a bed Luna conjured for him. "Never again." He stroked Snape's gory hair and cheek. "I believe in you."

Luna squeezed Harry's hand. "Madam Pomfrey, he doesn't have much time left. Won't you please remember the trust you placed in Harry, and in the headmaster as a boy, and help him? I'm afraid Harry will not be the same if his ishinari dies."

Harry nodded. "Ma'am, please. I need him to…." He turned a bemused look on Luna. "Wait, my what?"

Luna chuckled. "You'll understand later. Ma'am, won't you help him? Please?"

Pomfrey huffed and conjured a bed beside the one Harry had placed Snape in. "If the two of you would let me get a word in edgewise, I only meant not to put him in that bed, as it hasn't been cleaned yet. Put him here."

Harry's face burned. "Oh. S-sorry, ma'am."

She sighed and levitated the injured man into the new bed. "I'm a healer, Harry. Loyalties don't matter. I save lives where I can regardless."

"Oh. I guess that's true, but you needn't worry about his loyalties, ma'am. He's been on our side all this time."

She eyed him as she cleaned the wound at Snape's throat. "Hm. I'm surprised to hear you defending him after all he's done."

"It was all for us." Harry shuddered and fought back a wave of grief. "H-he fought so hard for us, but he had to do it under deep cover."

"I see." She ushered him away. "I'll do everything I can to help him, Harry. Move along now."

He blinked back tears. "Please, can I stay? I won't be in the way. I just—I need…."

Pomfrey searched his eyes, huffed, and gave in. "I have the feeling I couldn't scrape you off of him if I tried, mystifying as that is. Very well, you may stay. Sit on that side and don't budge."

"T-thank you." He took the chair at Snape's uninjured side and squeezed his hand. "It's going to be okay now, you'll see. Just hold on."

Luna kissed Harry's cheek. "Stay with him, Harry. Don't let anyone drive you away. He needs a hero."

He rubbed his thumb across Snape's knuckles. "He would probably rather have just about anyone else to fill that role, but…." He nodded fiercely. "He's got one now."

"Lovely! Then just hold his hand while Madam Pomfrey works. I will let the others know you found a survivor and you're back, but you need a little time to help him recover."

Harry gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Lu. You're brilliant."

She giggled. "Yes, I know."

With that, she skipped away, humming under her breath, and Harry returned his attention to Snape.

A hero, hmm? Harry would rather just be himself, but if Snape needed him to be a hero for him, then, by gods, a hero Harry would be.

"I'm here, sir," Harry murmured. "You're going to be okay."

He hoped he could keep that promise. In the meantime, he would just wait and keep holding Snape's hand.

"I'm here, sir."

'Always.'