Archive of Our Own

All his life Kim Taehyung has hated coffee. It was bitter and left his mouth tasting just as foul as it was when he woke-up. His older brother liked milk and sugar with his, and while that made it better, it was still too gross. His cousin liked it black, no sugar, and lots of it. He liked to try new kinds of coffee beans, from other places, with other processes, but he was a coffee snob, because he didn’t like anything else on it. Taehyung could go for a nice mochaccino, with lots of sugar or those Starbucks concoctions that you barely taste the coffee. But now, coffee was a part of his life. As an emergency medicine fellow who was also well into his PhD in Public Health, Kim Taehyung ran on coffee. Currently, he was waiting for his large cup to get filled from the nasty automatic coffee machine from the on-call room at the hospital.

The machine was slow and noisy, but he still could use the time it took to serve the three shots of expresso he pressed down to catch up on sleep. He was there, eyes closed and suddenly he was floating around, in this crazy beautiful garden, full of flowers. There’s a bench near a fire pit, and the wind blowing on his face and it’s so peaceful, the way the flowers was disposed and the stones on the floor, the sun touching his skin, so arm, shining on his blonde hair. He can hear a bit of music and water running, some birds chirping and it’s almost magical.

He wanted to stay forever-

“Taehyung!” He hears Jimin voice as he lightly jumps, eyes opening. Jimin is looking at him, a little worried. Great, now his best friend is going to nag him.

“How long was I out?”

“I think about six minutes. I need you in trauma two, are you okay?” He asks, looking at Taehyung’s face. Hopefully, the dark bags under his eyes are not bad. He had been doing some cold tea compressions to lessen the swelling before bed and using this new bomb concealer, but Jimin has an eagle’s eye.

“I’m fine, be right there.” Is what he says before lining for his coffee mug and downing it in one go trying not to mind the taste, before popping one chocolate kiss into his mouth. Worked like a charm. He is trying to concentrate on the delicious, sweet taste when his mentor and dear friend, Dr. Kang, arrives.

“Taehyung, hi.” She greets him, looking a little confused. “What the hell are you still doing here? How long have you been on-call? Weren’t you getting in when I was leaving my last shift?”

“Uh, twenty... three.” He answers, doing some mental math. Maybe it’s more like twenty-five, but there’s no way she will let him walk out of there to do more rounds if he is over the twenty-four-hour mark when he just did another twenty-four-hour shift more or less twelve hours before he started this one.

“Twenty-three? That’s absurd, go home, Taehyung. You can’t keep going like this, you just did a big presentation last week and also performed a big solo surgery you had to work hard for, you need some rest.”

“Rest isn’t going to get me that attending slot, So.” He says, before he grabs the charts Jimin left on the table and walks out of the room, already heading for trauma two. He is looking for his intern, Jen. She is always missing during rounds, it’s incredible.

It the next five minutes, he discharges two patients, sends one for an EKG and another for a head CT, before finally seeing that trauma two already has a doctor inside. Dr. Lee Mina was the other fellow on the ER, and they were both kind of competing for the attending position. They both wanted to stay in Seoul and offerings like that in big hospitals weren’t coming that much in the capital. Taehyung loved to work in the ER, to quickly try and help his patients, to save their lives in the OR. He had done his residency focusing on trauma surgery by the end and he liked to work in emergency. He was good at it, to talk and calm down his patients and their families.

But Mina was in his way. “I covered for you in trauma two when you were sleeping.”

“I wasn’t sleeping, I was-”

“You’re welcome.” She says with that annoying smile on her face. He doesn’t have time to simmer on his anger though, because he already has two patients. In the next few hours, he had to fix a dislocated shoulder, dodge marriage proposals from this sweet old lady he was tending to, sedated a patient mid-psychosis who was holding Dr. Lee down (you’re welcome), visited his favorite little patients in peds, did some paperwork, all of that deeply marinated in cups and cups of coffee.

He ends up entering the on-call room only to catch a conversation between Sora, Jimin and Seyeon, who recently had become a pediatric attending. “You will need a lot more concealer to hide those dark bags, So.” Jimin jokes with the older doctor.

“Actually, she has a hot date tonight.” Seyeon announces giggling. It was a well-known fact that Sora was going through a divorce. It was another known fact that doctors and nurses loved to gossip in the on-call room. Jimin and Taehyung cheer, the older woman glaring at Seyeon.

“It’s hardly a hot date. I’m going with my ex-husband to have dinner with his mother. He hasn’t told her about the divorce, and I don’t want to be responsible for giving her a heart attack.” She tells them, a little annoyed.

“I’ll trade your night for mine.” Jimin offers. “Namjoon has another one of those dinners with fancy rich guys that look at me like I’m a dumb arm candy and also won’t stop comparing how rich they are.”

“Downside of dating the youngest Chief of Surgery in town, he is practically a celebrity. Everybody wants him in their hospital, the board should be worried that he is gonna leave us.”

“He is not, Seyeon, he loves it here. That kid... how is that he is such a good leader? His speech for the new interns were so good. Still, it’s weird to have a boss that is so much younger than me. He looked like an intern himself that day. Spilling his coffee on the floor.” Sora was the head of the emergency department. She had been chief resident when Taehyung was an intern, and she soon got her attending position.

Still, Namjoon was a genius. He had finished med school in record time and his prowess in surgery earned him many awards and publications in high impact journals. He had done his cardio-thoracic surgery fellowship in one of the biggest cardio hospitals in the world and when worked there for a few years before the old chief decided to step down and asked his favorite resident to come and get his place. It was all amazing, but it did put Taehyung and his brother in an awkward position during family dinners, where their aunt would just praise Namjoon over and over. At the time Taehyung had failed his practice boards, Namjoon was thriving, and his mother loved to rub that on their faces, because she hated that their mother had been the favorite when they were growing up. Jin too was struggling at that time and still today. He had gotten married while he worked in a restaurant in the US and him and his husband had two daughters through surrogacy. They both came back to Korea, but lately they haven’t been seeing eye to eye on things, especially now that he had opened his own restaurant.

Ah, love problems.

“My husband is asking about kids, but I hardly have time to shave my legs or eat. Taehyung and I shared a salad in the hallway earlier. I ate the tomatoes; he ate the carrots. It was warm and soggy. It was disgusting. This is my life. I also see kids dying all the time. I just- It’s hard.” Seyeon says, sighing.

“Maybe you should bring him here to see how hard it is to take care of kids. Or see a birthing video. When my ex was bugging me for kids, I showed him that and we didn’t have sex for months.”

“Tae, you are so lucky that you don’t have to deal with all these relationship problems and only have to worry about work. I swear, if I didn’t love him, I guess I would be single again.” Seyeon tells him as he nods, but his stomach is cold and his heart aches a bit.

“I am single and I still have to deal with his ass.” Sora laughs, as she checks her pager. Seyeon is paged almost a second later and they yelled a quick bye before going.

“Hey, what’s with the face, she didn’t mean... Tae, we all know that you have your priorities.” His best friend tells him. Taehyung looks at his reflection in the little mirror Sora was using to apply her concealer, noticing that he looks a little pathetic. Alone. Not really living as much as going through patients fueled by coffee and tasteless hospital food.

“I’m okay. Actually, Jin had asked me for a dinner at his house. Jake came back from his trip and the kids will be with our parents. He said he has someone for me to meet, I was going to call him and bail.”

“You shouldn’t. When was the last time you went on a date? Or worse, got laid. And that quickie with the visiting neurosurgeon in the on-call room that time hardly counts.”

“That was last year. Look, I don’t need to date, and I have a perfectly fine vibrator at home for sexual urges and I don’t have time to deal with people and their problems and a relationship.”

“What do relationships have to do with anything? Just, go to dinner, eat Jin-hyung's delicious food, check out the guy, if he is hot, play footsie under the table and invite him for dessert at your beautiful apartment with the view of the river and the amazing roof and get fucked under the stars.”

“Jimin!”

“Be a hoe for once in your life, Taehyung. I know you have it in you, I remember our college days. So, you should go, Seokjin has good taste, at least when it concerns to handsome men. Personality-wise, it’s a little sketchy.”

“Jake is alright.”

“He is a narcissist. I liked his old boyfriend a lot better, how was his name, do you remember?”

“No, I just remember how Jin called him Mimi and he hated it. God, it’s a total blank.”

“Jin should have married him.”

“Well, he broke up with hyung when he told him he was going to the US, so yeah, that wasn’t meant to be. You need to forget your hatred for Jake, there is already some weird tension between them, and God forbid Jake decides he wants to move back to the States.” Taehyung decides not to agree with Jimin, remembering how Jin had seen Mimi one last time the week before the wedding, when he was getting drunk with Taehyung to celebrate before they all flew to the States, and the guy had showed up at the bar and they fought, only for Taehyung to catch them kissing in the alley an hour later. He swore to Seokjin no one would ever know.

He is in the middle of checking some charts when he sees that his brother is calling. Maybe they talked too much about him, he has this oddly accurate sixth sense. “Hyung.”

“Please tell me you are not bailing on me now. Food is in the oven; my dessert is a masterpiece, and I even bought the expensive wine to go perfectly with it.” Taehyung laughs, his cheeks burning as he remembers Jimin’s advice.

“Yes, hyung, I’m really coming.”

“Great, Dr. Kim. You need to take a break and be my little baby bear for a while. Oh, and mom and dad will bring the kids a little earlier so you can say good night, and maybe he can walk you out. Oh, it will be perfect.”

“How is this guy, anyway?”

“Oh, I haven’t seen him in person.”

“What?! Seokjin, you’re not setting me up with a complete stranger, right?”

“No, he is not a complete stranger, give me some credit here, Taehyung. This is your first date in like a century, I wouldn’t pick a guy off the street or worse, on a dating app. He is the friend of an old friend and he told me he is really nice.”

“Nice, is that code for unattractive, but kind of funny?”

“Look, he is good-looking, I have a pretty good source. And it was really hard to get him to come, he is just like you, running away from love. We had to scheme a lot, but I think it’s time. I met him like several years ago, and he was cute, and my friend said he got even better. Aged like fine wine.”

“Okay, I’ll go, but I’m really busy tonight, okay. Just- I might run a little late.” He can hear his nieces giggling and Jin yelling at them in full-angry-dad mode.

“Don’t give me this weak excuse, Kim Taehyung. Busy, you don’t know the meaning of this word. I have two demonic children running in my house every day and I still need to go and run a kitchen of an about-to-become very popular restaurant. You know nothing. Just be here. I’m doing you a huge favor. Beggars can’t be choosers, Taehyung.”

“I just think it’s embarrassing that you think I need your help to get a date, hyung. There’s plenty of men around in my life.”

“I know, baby bear. But I would like you to meet one that is not bleeding. I need to go, Eunjin just took off her clothes and mom and dad will be here any minute. Eight o'clock.”

His brother ends the calls and Taehyung sees himself mindlessly walking the hallways. Soon he catches the end of a conversation between Mina and a guy from general surgery. They are talking about her options if she doesn’t get the attending position, to which she says she has an offer for a hospital in Suwon. The guy says it’s a nice enough city, but she says she would much rather stay in Seoul in a big prestigious hospital. It makes Taehyung nervous, because the guy says that Dr. Choi, the head of trauma, likes her. And that might as well be truth.

Talking about Dr. Choi, both him and Mina end up in front of the man. He is stoic big man in his fifties, very serious and a bit scary. He always knows a lot more than Taehyung thinks he should. They hear the calling for him for a gunshot wound. The man scans them both. “How long have you been here?”

“Twelve hours.” Mina answers.

Dr. Choi looks at him, brow arched. Taehyung sighs. “A few more.”

“Mina, you go.”

“I’ll scrub up.” She says, already heading to the OR. Dr. Choi watches her, before looking at Taehyung and calling for him. Oh God, is he getting fired? But he is so much more empathic than Mina. She doesn’t care about the patients, or people in general. Just the status. What did he do wrong?

“I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I don’t see a reason now. I made my decision, so I should let you know of it.” He says, and his voice is steady, nothing betraying the road this conversation is taking. Taehyung knows in his gut, though. He doesn’t even have another offering. Truth be told, he kind of hoped he would stay here. Jimin is here and they make a great team. Namjoon is also here, but he and Taehyung both knew he wouldn’t meddle in the decision. He didn’t start looking. He couldn’t leave Seoul. His nieces, his brother, his cousin and his best friend were all here. Sora, his mentor. Seyeon, his lunch partner. He would even miss Jen, his ever-missing intern. “I want you to stay as an attending in the trauma department. You are my most dedicated fellow, both in the rounds with patients and in the OR.”

“What? Really? Oh, my God, thank you so much, Dr. Choi. Boss.” He says, hugging his now-officially boss.

“Yes, Dr. Kim. We are now colleagues, although I’m still the head of your department. You have earned it. Unlike some others, you spend more time concerned with patients, doing research and learning techniques for innovative surgeries than kissing my ass. It was a risky move, but I like it. It has paid-off.”

“Thank you so much, there’s so much I want to implement here. Even from my public health research, Dr. Choi. I can’t wait to get started, thank you.” He says, already planning to go for another cup of coffee when his boss asks for him again. “Yes, sir?”

“Taehyung, you can get started, as an attending, with the pretty scrubs and all, tomorrow. Now, you need to get ready to go home. You’ve been here more than twenty-eight hours.” Taehyung’s eyes widen as the man almost smiles. “I know all.”

He sighs, but he might as well get to Jin’s house early, maybe take a nap. He goes to the on-call room anyways, for a cup of coffee, to keep him energized on the date. Jin won’t let him drink some there, because he knows his vice. He is eating his saving chocolate kiss when one of the nurses call him. “Dr. Kim, can you please take a look at this post-op patient? I think there’s something wrong with him.”

There’s no way he can’t say no. He ends up staying another hour, because after that, another patient crashes and they have to resuscitate her and by the time he has showered and changed out of his scrubs, it’s dark out and raining.

He is about to take up running to his car trying to cause with minimal damage to his clothes, but he runs into Mina. “Taehyung, congratulations.”

“Oh, yeah. Thank you. I didn’t know Dr. Choi was going to announce it today.”

“It’s all good, I have an amazing offer in Suwon, so, yeah.”

“That’s great.” He smiles at her, as she then goes for her car. Even though she made his life difficult, he was sorry she would have to move away. The run to the car is successful and he settles for a minute, before starting the very known route to his brother’s apartment. He is about ten minutes away when Jin’s call picks up, his voice resonating in the car. “I’m almost there, hyung. I know I’m kind of late.”

“Don’t worry, your date is late too.”

“I have good news though. I got the attending position, so I’m staying in Seoul. I’m so happy, hyung. I got really worried I would have to move away from you all.”

“Thank God, Taetae. I’m so proud of you. I’m popping some bubbles; this is now an even bigger celebration. You deserve it so much, my baby. See you soon.”

“See you, hyung.” He says, before the call ends and he decides to take up the volume of the music, hearing that a nice jazz song he loves started playing. He only takes his eyes off the road for a second, but he doesn’t see anymore, only a big white light coming towards him and the deafening sound of the truck’s horn as it’s skidding the road.

All he sees are the smiles of his parents, Jin and Jake and the kids, Jimin and Namjoon. And him, in the middle, alone.

Jeongguk is tired of looking for apartments. Who knew coming back from the army was such a hassle? Sure, he had an apartment, but there was no way he would live still on the place he shared with his now-dead wife. When did the apartments in Seoul all got so pretentious? All minimalistic with weirdly shaped furniture and sad color pallets.

And no good couches.

Jeon Jeongguk isn’t a complicated man and now all that he wants with a nice apartment where he can relax, turn on the TV in whatever sport is on and just drink a few beers until he passes out. Rinse and repeat. But couches are weird now and there’s open spaces and glass walls and he as an architect always been more practical. Why people want their homes to be fancy or stylish when it should be just homey and cozy? There’s no way he is renting a place that is like a huge warehouse. He was a sad alone guy, not a DJ about to throw some clandestine raves. Or a place too cluttered with weird statues and crochets towels and old furniture with a couch that must have been made two centuries prior and was probably white back then. Or an innovative feng-shui styled studio.

He wants a big walk-in shower, maybe a hot tub and wooden floors, a nice view, a good couch and a bedroom that wasn’t inside the living room with a kitchen with no walls whatsoever.

They are walking around near the last failed apartment. His realtor is trying to convince him to reconsider one of the last ones they checked. It was useless, they were all weird and not a home. To be fair, his last apartment sometimes didn’t feel like a home either. But now that he was jobless and wifeless and would spend all day inside doing nothing beside drown in his own guilty, he needed to at least feel comfortable there.

Her phone rings, so they stop at the corner. He can see the river and it’s a beautiful day. He looks to his side and sees this older, small building. It’s a little quirky architecturally speaking, not very like the current style of the city. Probably a lot of people tried to buy it to build a nice skyscraper in its place, but the owners must have said no. It was a nice little building. There, on the corner, almost swallowed by the bigger ones around. Still, it had its view intact, straight to the river. Just three stories. It probably was the kind of place you would love to live in forever. Not a lot of neighbors, a nice part of the neighborhood, there was a café on the other side of the street and a small deli.

“Look, Jeongguk-ssi. I don’t think I really understand what you are looking for. If you could at least communicate a little better, maybe we could find it faster. About your life, family, job. Your needs.” She says, as Jeongguk starts fighting with an annoying paper following him around in the wind. It keeps coming back, until it flies to his face.

Irritated, he grabs the paper, only to see that it’s an apartment available for rent. And it’s on that same street. No, it’s on the building he was looking at. He just looks at his realtor, before crossing the street as she follows confused. When she sees where he is going, she sighs. “No, there’s no way. It’s probably gone already.”

In the end, she agrees to call the number and it turns out the key is with the man that works there. They go up the stairs, which Jeongguk doesn’t mind, it’s just two stories to get to the apartment. Apparently, the last floor has a small and a bigger unit. The big one is the one available and when they enter, he sees a home. There’s a small hall and then two openings, one going into the kitchen and the other to the big living room. There are a lot of windows in all the extension of the living room, wooden benches under it. There’s a fireplace and a beautiful view of the river and the city. Just amazing.

The kitchen is spacious and well-equipped, and it goes to a hallway, where there is a small bathroom, an office that has bookcases in all walls, filled with books, and a small guest bedroom. At the end, there’s the master bedroom, which also has an amazing view. A large bed and a nice closet, and the bathroom has a huge shower and a tub.

“Amazing, right?” She asks, but Jeongguk ignores her, still exploring. He sees this weird door and opens it, only to see some stairs. He goes up, ending up on the roof. And it’s the only entry, so the bigger unit has exclusive access to it. It was very dull, all cement but it was a 360° view, the wind blowing. Maybe he would do a little landscaping there, a nice bench or even a porch swing. “Oh, here you are. Roof access? You certainly could do something with that. I’m trying to get in contact with the tenant. It must have a catch, because it’s been on the market for over two months. Do you like it?”

“Yes. I want this apartment.”

It takes her two days to get a reply and she calls Jeongguk, who is camping on Yoongi’s couch, drinking in the middle of the afternoon. “I told you there was a catch. They are not renting on a year-lease. It’s month to month. I talked to the owner’s brother, and apparently there was a family issue and for now, they are renting only monthly. I have other places for you to see, one is kind of like that, if you forget about the roof, the fireplace and the view.”

“Nah, I’ll take it.”

“Jeongguk, it’s risky. The owner could be back anytime, and you would have to vacate it immediately. It’s like a living in a hotel, but actually there’s a time limit to how many nights you can stay.”

“I don’t mind. Money isn’t a problem as you know. If I have to leave, I'll be ready to go to an actual hotel or something. I like this one, I want to live there for as long as I can. Make it happen, the quicker you get, the bigger will be the bonus I will offer you, okay?”

He was in the apartment within the week.

The first five days of living there were amazing. There was a nice lady in the other unit, and she left him some cookies, that he munched away with his beer. The couch was so amazing, it took him three days to actually sleep in the bedroom. And he regretted it immediately, because the bed was godsend. The mattress fixed his posture and basically hugged him to a perfect night of sleep, with no dreams. He woke up the other day, it was already past noon. He had ordered groceries to be delivered there and that day he cooked. It was a nice day.

Until he decided to open his only box of belongings from the old apartment, only to find his wedding footage on a DVD. He popped on his computer and connected it with the TV, downing two beers in five minutes. Hanna was there, calling him for their first dance, radiant in her wedding dress.

Great, the guilt trip started.

He gets up, itching for another beer, sweatpants laying low on his hips, tank top clinging to his still existing muscles. Maybe he should at least work out. There was a park near, maybe he could go for a run sometimes, establish some exercise routine. He goes for the fridge, fishing for another beer can with a sigh. His life is so boring, but still, he can't think of changing anything.

It’s in the way to the living room, opening his beer can that he suddenly is facing a nicely dressed man. They both yell, jumping, his beer splashing everywhere. “Oh, God, please! There’s nothing here worth stealing, please. No money, no jewelry.” The guy yells, eyes closed.

“What?”

“I can give you some food and take you to the nearest shelter, please don’t hurt me.” He keeps saying, looking scared. Jeongguk blinks, confused. They guy is roughly his age, hair dyed blonde, and he is dressed in nice slacks and a dark blue shirt. Looking like a model.

“What are you talking about, dude? I’m not homeless, I live here.”

“That’s ridiculous, dude. You can’t live here, because I live here. This is my apartment.”

For fuck’s sake. “Since when? Oh, God. Is this a scam? Are there more people? Like those renting scams where you go and suddenly there’s another five people with a key to your new place and the realtor vanishes? I don’t have time for this.”

“Scam? No, it’s mine. It has been mine since I rented it and then later made a deal to start paying for it. It's mine. This is my stuff, furniture, my couch, my coffee table.” He says, walking around the living room, pointing at things. “That picture I took it and framed it. Oh, God. Is that a ring? Haven’t you heard of a coaster? Now there’s beer all over the floor. I don’t care who you are, you are not leaving until you mop that up. And look at all that trash. God, my apartment was invaded by a pig.”

Dramatic dude starts ranting, running to the kitchen. Jeongguk sighs, going after him. “Hey, blondie. When did you move exactly?” He gets to the kitchen, except it’s empty. Same for the laundry room. No one in the hallway.

Great. Now he is imagining things. That’s just great. And he wasted his beer.

Fucking day is going to shit.

The next few days, he is on alert. But the blond dude doesn’t come back, so Jeongguk restarts his routine, putting a basketball game on and getting a few beers. He stinks a bit, so he undresses, leaving his clothes around the apartment and goes to the bathroom, carrying his beer.

A good shower is what he needs, so he takes his time, washing his hair, that it’s getting too long, but he can’t be bothered to get a haircut. He gets out, the room is full of steam. Towel hanging low around his waist, he feels his stubble. Maybe he needs to shave too. Going to the mirror, he wipes it out, sipping his beer that he left on the sink, only to see blondie behind him, furious expression. “I SAID GET OUT!”

He jumps, looking back, only for the bathroom to be empty. Fuck. That can’t be good. One, two, three deep breaths. He quickly shaves, walking to his room and putting on some boxer shorts, using the towel to dry the excess water from his hair.

Looking for his phone, he gathers a few of his dirty clothes down on the floor around the apartment, throwing them in the laundry basket. The apartment is fine, not that trashed. But maybe it’s his usually neurotic-self reaching for him. He always been anal about tidiness, which he usually yelled at Hanna about. She was a mess, and it was a point of conflict between them.

His phone is on the couch, so he grabs it and looks for Yoongi’s contact. “Hyung.”

“Hey, Jeongguk-ah. How is life in your new place? You haven’t asked me to hang out yet, which is sad, because I let you live on my couch and basically create a Jeongguk imprint on it for a while.”

“We can, but actually... I wanted to go out today. I’ve been locked in here too long. There’s a nice pub a few blocks from here, maybe we could meet there at eight or something? I need to talk to you.”

“Sounds awesome. I have my last patient at six today, so I’ll go straight from work. Send me the address, will you? I’m glad you want to go out, kid.” Yoongi sounds happy, Jeongguk is not looking forward in telling him he might be crazy.

“Will do, hyung. See you later.”

The pub is pretty nice, and prices aren’t too bad. He offers to pay for the first round and waits until the second to bring up the fact that he is seeing people around his apartment. They are going back to their table, Yoongi blabbing about something, when he suddenly remembers. “What did you want to talk to me about, Guk-ah?”

“I don’t know how to talk to you about this, but I need to tell someone.” He starts, Yoongi already frowning. The last three years of being Jeongguk’s best friend had been hard. With Hanna’s death and him just leaving everything to enlist and coming back to an in-couch beer binge madness, he’s had his plate full. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Oh?” Yoongi is confused for a second, but he is relieved. “That’s amazing, Jeongguk. God, I was so worried about you, with all the self-pity and drinking and couch time, but that is actually great.”

“You think it’s a good thing?” Jeongguk asked, a little thrown.

“Of course, dude! The last time I set you up, with the perfect date, if I’m saying so myself, you bailed on me, but the fact that you took initiative and found someone yourself it’s a sign that you are finally getting out of this hole you’ve dug for yourself. Who is she? Do I know her?”

“No, I’ve been seeing someone that’s not there. And it was a him.”

“Is he emotional unavailable? Or married? Jeongguk-” Yoongi tries to not think the worse, but Jeongguk glares at him, his gaze holding a deeper meaning. Sighing, Yoongi nods, grabbing his note pad. “A hallucination?”

Jeongguk nods. “Twice, in my apartment. A man, around our age, I guess. Blond.”

“Attractive?”

“He’s not really there, Yoongi.” Jeongguk huffs. “Like, the second time, it was just for a flash.”

“Fine. When you saw this man, were you drunk or sleep-deprived?”

“Ah, maybe a little tipsy, but nothing-”

“Look, Jeongguk. This isn’t going to work, if you lie to me, alright.” Yoongi scolds him. There was no real reason for him to lie, Yoongi knew how his life has been going.

“Fine, I was wasted, but still, not nearly enough for me to start seeing a blond control freak nagging me about tidiness in my apartment, like, that never happened before when I was at your place.” Yoongi nods again, writing it down. “The fuck you writing there? This isn’t a session.”

“That’s insulting, Jeongguk-ah. I’m your best friend, I’m not going to charge you. Only if you take too long and we roll into a second hour, hey, don’t glare, I’m kidding. Alright, you were drunk, which is the usual for you, and you saw this controlling blond-”

“I need to stop drinking.” He whines. This is his life now, a joke.

“No.”

“No? You were nagging me forever to stop.”

“Yes, I mean. You should stop drinking with the pity party and the sports watching. You aren’t that interested in sports to begin with. You were a dweeb, albeit an athletic one who played in college, but c’mon. You were watching rugby one day, you hate it. You should drink and party, but with other people. Sure, we never were wild party animals, but you should socialize. Date or at least hang out with our friends. A lot of them have been asking about you. God gave us alcohol as a social lubricant, not for it to be used to drown in our sorrows. Look around this bar, this is the world. Join it. Go out, get a job, get laid. Stop swimming in your own mind, that is a dangerous place to go alone. It’s been three years, dude. Stop hiding.”

“Sure.”

“This blond guy, maybe it’s a sign. I know you don’t want to admit it, but your marriage was over before that happened. Hanna was your oldest friend; it was practical and safe with her. But it wasn’t the type of love you tried to tell yourself. Stop being guilty about it. Stop sabotaging your own life and allow yourself to move on.”

“Yoongi...”

“I mean it, I arranged a very nice date for you, and you bailed on it.”

“I don’t think another woman is the answer for all my problems, Yoongi. I don’t want another relationship; I don’t want to see other women. I was happy with Hanna, and she was taken away.”

“Fine, to be fair, you didn’t even ask anything about your date, you know. It wasn’t a woman. It was a guy, a very pretty one, smart, funny. Or don’t you remember our college days, when you were always going out with lots of guys, until you had your heart broken and convinced yourself to give a chance to a friend you never had feelings for before.”

Jeongguk was actually surprised. Sure, he had had realized he was bisexual in high school, and his preference lied with guys, as he only had two girlfriends during high school and another one-night stand with a woman before college, and then he got into university and started to go out with guys. Until he got tired of being used for his body and sex, wanted a change of pace and romance and the guys he went out with didn’t, so when Hanna confessed, they got together. They got married right after graduation and it was fine for a while. He was getting his name out there, working for a top firm before doing some freelance work. But there was something missing, he couldn’t match her intensity. Still, he tried. And then she was gone.

“I loved her. And I don’t think I’m capable of love anymore.”

“Fine, but you are capable of living. Stop hiding out. You will not continue this pattern.”

“Absolutely not.”

So, he lied.

Pattern? Continued.

But still, things got better. The next days, he had been on his couch, with his beer, and there was no loud little blond making demands. He got out of the shower, wiped the mirror and no blond behind him yelling for him to get out. Life was good, even if it wasn’t.

It had been just his imagination.

So, there he is, lying on his delicious bed, wearing a loose t-shirt and underwear, ready to relax and sleep for a good twelve hours, when he hears it.

“This is insane.” Controlling blondie says. “How do you keep getting in here?”

“It’s you that gets in here. Oh, this isn’t real. This is one of those crazy dreams where you know you’re dreaming. It’s just your imagination.” He says, pressing a pillow above his head. “Go away, dream. Please.”

“Oh, boy. This is serious.” Blondie says. “Okay, I will ask you a few questions. I’m worried about you. Has your alcohol consumption increased in the last months?” Yes, but so what, he wasn’t a lightweight. “What am I asking, it’s obvious, there’s beer cans everywhere. Have you been seeing things that aren’t really there?” Yes, you, Mr. Controlling blondie. “Have you recently procured the help of a mental health professional?”

“What?” He jumps. “How the fuck do you know that? Have you been following me? Are you a creepy stalker? Just leave me alone.”

“Are you often feeling paranoid? Like people are out to get you?”

“What? No! Why are you asking so many questions? You are not here. Go away.”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Look, it’s okay. You have a problem. You have been fantasizing that you rented this apartment when in fact It belongs to someone else. Me. Look, pick up that light blue pillow.” Jeongguk frowns, looking at the pillow. “Just pick up. There’s a red stain from the time my niece was staying here and dropped some strawberry juice. And, these sheets, I bought them a few months ago, aren’t they soft? A thousand-thread-count, Egyptian cotton, the receipt is in that drawer. You can look. I’m sorry to say, but you need to accept that you might be mentally ill. I will help you.”

“Really?”

“I’m afraid so. This is my apartment. With my couch, my coffee table that you put a ring on it with your lack of coaster-usage, this is my bed, with my expensive sheets, my nightstand, that is my picture- where is my picture? Did you throw it out?” The ghost starts panicking.

“What picture? That was empty when I moved in.”

“My picture, me with my- that's enough. This have gone too far, okay? I’m calling the police, this is outrageous. I don’t even know how you got the key.” He yelled, going to the phone that was in the dresser. Controlling blondie is angry now and Jeongguk’s a little scared. Did he really invade someone else’s apartment? Blondie glares at him, grabbing the phone. Except he doesn’t, because his hand goes right through it. They both look at each other, shocked. “What did you do with the phone?”

“Nothing.” He answers, as blondie tries to take the phone, but his hand, it’s like he is just a hologram or maybe the phone is? He groans, hands uselessly trying to pick it up.

“Oh, for God’s sake. I’ll use the one in the kitchen, you stay right here.” He demands, before walking towards the hallway, but before Jeongguk can go after him, he vanishes.

“What the fuck.”

Blondie doesn’t come back.

Sleep doesn’t quite come to him that night, so he gets up early, decided to put an end to it once and for all. Going out the door, he already calls for his realtor. “Hey, I’m calling because- the people that rented the apartment for me? Do you have their contact info?”

“Why? What happened?” She asks him, dread in her voice. She was so relieved when he had finally found a place. He had been the most difficult client she had in a while and she was doing in as a favor to his mother, which happened to be a very powerful woman. The whole Jeon family. She had gotten a huge thank you and good recommendations of clients when she got him to settle on a place. “Something wrong with the apartment?”

“No, I was just wondering about the previous tenant, that’s all.”

“Well, I dealt with a man, and he didn’t want to talk about it much, so I didn’t press, because I don’t need to hear people’s sad dramatic stories. It was some sort of tragedy in the family? I know that it was a young man that lived there, alone. Not much else.”

“Do you think he died?”

“If he did, that’s a good thing for you, because it’s the only way they will be willing to lease it for you beyond this month-by-month thing, you know?” She answers.

“Oh God, that’s not-”

“Look, Jeongguk. Relax. Finding a good place to live is cut-throat endeavor. Specially in this city. This place, it has a view, a roof, a fireplace, nice wooden floors and finishes, lots of windows, sunlight during the day, a huge tub, a huge shower, a good closet, amazing location. People would kill for a place like this. You didn’t, just there’s no need for you to feel this way, accidents happen.”

Jeongguk sighs, before going down the stairs.

He had found this exoteric bookstore that sold some herbs and candles and shit to cleanse rooms during his internet search. He walks there. It’s a small, nice place. He grabs a basket, before going through the things. Some herb rituals, incenses. To cleanse, to send away bad energy, evil spirits. Some candles too. Next, he goes for a few books on spirits sightings and how to deal with them. There are so many, he has no idea what to get.

“Can I help you?” A guy asks you. He is cute, with his bucket hat, colorful apron and warm smile. “I’m Hoseok and I own this place. Have you been dealing with the occult?”

Jeongguk sighs. He never believed in this stuff before. “No. I mean, sort of. I’ve been seeing a ghost or something, I don’t know how to qualify it. It thinks it lives in my apartment. I want to get rid of it. God, I don’t know what I’m saying. Do you believe in this stuff?”

“Well, you don’t, until you do, you know? I’ve been sensing the afterlife since I was a little kid, it’s my mission to help those who need something on this plane to... move on.”

An older guy approaches them. “Hey, where is your UFOs section?”

Hoseok doesn’t even look at him. “Through the end into the left.” As soon as the guy is far away from them, he sighs. “Ufology, such a pseudo-science. This and the flat-earth business. I didn’t want to carry such things, but my business partner said would be good for business. I guess I’m a purist. Anyways, those books you have are a bit dated. I'll grab some good ones. Like this one, to begin to understand the phenomenon. Also, a have a very good séance book for communication.”

“Communication isn’t his problem, believe me.”

“Uh, interesting. I have exactly what you need, hold on.” The guy started to hand Jeongguk several books until he finally finds the one. “Chapter seven.”

Jeongguk feels a bit foolish, burning the herbs around the apartment, setting the candles on the corner window bench and grabbing his book to call for the spirit. There are a few words in Latin, or at least that’s what he thinks it is. He starts to chant it, using the incense to draw the symbols.

Nothing happens. He sighs.

He doesn’t know why, but he knows blondie is nearby. It’s almost like he can feel him, that he is there, watching, but chose not to show himself. “Look here, blondie. I need you to show up so I can kick you out of here and into the next plane. I can’t live like this anymore, so show up. Now!”

Silence.

Jeongguk is getting impatient, so he grabs his cup of coffee from the book it’s on top of. “Look, this delicious, hot, moist cup of coffee is going to be placed in this beautiful wooden table with no coaster. If only someone would warn me not to do that.” He says, slowly lowering his mug.

It’s about to touch the table when blondie appears. “Don’t you dare!”

“Ah, finally. Look, we need to talk.” He says to the ghost. No idea how to brush this subject, because the book said they might react badly when told they are dead.

“About what? The day you’re leaving my apartment?”

“No. Didn’t you notice that might be something a little off about how you spend your days?” The book had said sometimes ghosts are in a limbo, almost like sleeping, and they only appear when the person they can communicate with calls for them.

“Yes, it’s very weird to have someone invading your home and trashing your living room, you know. Stressful, annoying.”

“I didn’t- wait. Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Jeon Jeongguk. What’s your name?”

Blondie seems thrown with the question, worry in his eyes as he looks around, only to see a name written on the mug. “Tae-taehyung. My name is Taehyung.” He shrugs.

Weird. “You didn’t know that! You had to read it off that mug. Which belongs to the previous tenant. What’s your whole name, Taehyung?”

“Uh, I only have one name. Like Cher and Madonna. Or one of those idols.”

“You only have one name?” Jeongguk snorts. “Alright, no surname Taehyung. When was the last time you remember being somewhere other than here, talking to someone other than me?”

“Uh, the other... day.”

“The other day? Okay, fine. And what do you do in the rest of your day, when you are not here bugging me? What do you do? Where do you go?”

“I certainly do a lot more than you, that’s for sure. Pathetically glued to that couch chugging beer like a loser.” He offers, trying to avoid the question. He clearly doesn’t remember anything.

“Don’t try to avoid the question, Tete.”

“Don’t call me Tete, I’m not a little kid. My name is Taehyung. Why are you asking these questions? This is my apartment, and you are here bothering me, can’t you just leave me alone?”

Jeongguk is losing his patient. “I can’t, Tete. Because it is you that can’t leave me alone. I know you don’t remember anything else beyond our little interactions. But try... Don’t you remember... something dramatic happening to you? Something like dying, maybe?”

Taehyung looks pissed off. “What? How dare you say that? I’m not dead! This is going way too far, house-thief! That’s so awful.”

Jeongguk sighs, again. “Calm down, will you?” He says, trying to reach for his shoulder, only for his hand to go through his... body? Corporeal form? Because it’s nothing. It’s like air, but he still is seeing the man clear as day in front of him.

“What are you-? Get your filthy hands off me! Pervert! You get in my apartment and tries to grope me? Are you insane?”

“NO! YOU ARE! I didn’t touch you, Taehyung. Because I can’t, you are a ghost. You’re dead, caput, finished. Now, find the fucking light for you to follow, there’s nothing for you here. Stop clinging to you past and leave the living alone. The world went forward, move on.”

They are moving, Jeongguk trying to get closer, as Taehyung walks backwards, getting away from him. He is getting even more panicked. “There’s no light, you jerk. Stop saying that, I’m not dead.”

“I’m sorry, I was a little rude. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want you to help you move on. Maybe there’s a portal then, or a bridge, I’ve heard about that. Or maybe an angel? I don’t know, it must have something for you to cross over to the other side.”

“NO! I’m NOT DEAD! How long will it take for you to understand that? It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, how can I be dead? I think I would know if I was dead!” He yells, but Jeongguk’s eyes are huge, looking at his waist. Taehyung looks down only to see he is in the middle of his fucking dinner table. HIs body going through it. He gasps. “What’s happening? What did you do to me?”

“YOU’RE DEAD, BLONDIE!”

“I AM NOT! STOP SAYING THAT! AND DON’T CALL ME BLONDIE EITHER.” He yells, arm going to push and hit Jeongguk, but going right through him. They both freeze.

Jeongguk smiles. “You missed, buddy.” Taehyung grunts, annoyed, before putting his hand inside Jeongguk’s head and moving it, with the expression of a petulant child about to throw a tantrum. “Stop it. Right now. Seriously, Taehyung. Stop. That’s enough. You are giving me a headache. Get off.”

He dodges his hand, walking backwards as Taehyung follows him, angry, trying to hit him with his materially non-existent hand. They keep skipping all over the living room until Jeongguk stops, back to the window.

“Enough! It’s not my fault what happened. It’s the way it is, Taehyung. You are dead and I want you out of my house, do you understand? You need to move on.”

“You get out.” He complains, before going to push Jeongguk, only to him to cross him and the wall and fall off the building, screaming. Jeongguk looks, surprised.

“Wow, that was weird.” He looks down the window. “Rest in peace”

Except when he turns, Taehyung is there, arms crossed. “I’m not leaving.”

Jeongguk can only glare at him. This is war.

The next week is hell. Taehyung is everywhere, every single second of the day. Jeongguk can’t do anything. He is showering and Taehyung is there. The first time he leaves and see Taehyung sitting on top of the toilet (how can he? Shouldn’t he just go through it? What are the rules, really?), legs crossed, hand on his knee, all petulant. Jeongguk’s hands fly to his dick, because, what the fuck? Some privacy, please? But Taehyung stays there, and the following days, Jeongguk showers with his underwear on.

He goes to the fridge, and Taehyung is inside it, mocking him as he reaches for a beer. “Another one, my, my, what a surprise.”

He can’t watch TV, because Taehyung is there singing some annoying pop shit or some old songs at the top of his lungs. He kind of has a nice voice, it’s a rich and deep baritone that gives Jeongguk the tingles, but it’s annoying. After a few days, he starts to sing really loud again, and for a second, they are doing a duet and it’s kind of fun. He used to love to sing and dance back in college. Or even sometimes with his wife.

But then he remembers where he is and who Taehyung is and stops, going out and slamming the door. He drinks at the bar, alone, happy to be away from Taehyung. Until he realizes that going out means giving Taehyung the taste of victory, so he comes back and puts the basketball game on and grabs his tablet to read the news, anything to keep him distracted.

Taehyung is performing some opera piece and then some musical tune that ends with a super elongated high note and finally there is silence. But only for a second, when Taehyung starts the same fucking song he had been singing for an hour already. Don’t ghosts get tired or something? Lose their voices?

“ENOUGH! Fuck! I’ve had it with you. I’ve been trying to be nice. Tried to wait for you to realize that your days are limited to annoying me. Isn’t that sad for you, that you have no life beyond me? But no, you don’t stop. It’s been a week of off-key bad songs and sarcastic remarks and you ogling me in the shower.”

“Ogling you? Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Please, I saw your eyes lingering and I know what I’ve got.”

Taehyung glares at him. He looks kind of cute, all annoying, his nose scrunched up and his eyes almost closed with metaphorical laser beams shooting out. Wait, cute? As if!

He is annoying.

That’s it.

A controlling, bitchy, noisy, little blond ghost that just won’t leave him the fuck alone.

“You’re so full of yourself.”

“No, I’m full of anger towards your annoying little stunts. You’re out of here.”

During the following week, Jeongguk goes through all religious rituals and pseudo-scientific methods he can think off. He brings a priest specialized in exorcisms and he chants some Latin shit while throwing some holy water at Taehyung’s general direction, totally missing. Taehyung looks unimpressed, mocking Jeongguk’s sad attempt as the guy doesn’t even see him. “A little more left!” He yells.

“You are mopping that up, Jeon.” He says, before he goes to the kitchen, swaying his little hits.

Jeongguk does not check out his ass on those tight pants. He does not. “MORE!”

Fucking useless holy water.

That was followed by praying circles, guidance counseling, meditation sessions, fire cleansing (which Taehyung said would set the fire detector off and maybe it did, shut up, Mr. Know-it-All), some weird shit about ectoplasm or even a lot of salt spread all over the apartment, but Taehyung was still there. Even after some ghostbusters’ lookalikes with some weird machinery totally missed Taehyung, saying they captured the spirit. He called tarot readers and psychic ladies. No one was remotely close to getting Taehyung out of there.

His mother, who currently had access to the trust fund account he was currently living off, called him about the weird transactions he had been making on his black card. Taehyung called him a poor rich boy and annoyed him for a whole night.

The worst thing was, sometimes, Taehyung would rant about random things or drop some general culture facts in the rare moments they stayed silent and watched something together. They had few topics they agree on, like documentaries, Disney movies and indie films. He would see a thing and drop some weird scientific fact or would know the date of some event or little anecdotes no one cared about. And Jeongguk started to think it was endearing. Usually these moments didn’t last, because then one of them would make a remark that would make the other mad and they would be back to their feud.

And then he realized he had a last resort. Hoseok.

The cryptic and happy-go-lucky store owner was there, sitting on his (it’s his, Taehyung! He is paying for it!) living room, looking around with interest. “That’s it, dude? You just sit there and do nothing?”

“That’s useless, Jeon. He can’t see me either. For some annoying reason, only you can.” Taehyung points out, a little smirk in his stupidly attractive face. “He is just a weird, but charismatic guy that tricked you into buying a lot of expensive items.”

“Shut up. Hoseok? C’mon, man. You are my last shot.”

“Relax, do you want me to do a whole performance with some bells and whistles and smoke, or do you want a legit reading?” He asks, all serious for the first time. Jeongguk shrugs, impatient. “As I thought, so. There’s definitely a presence.”

“Oh, he is the one, how original. Tell me more, Mr. Sixth Sense.” Taehyung mocks him, getting closer, still seating on the coffee table.

“It’s hostile. Wants you out of here, dude. Like, as fast as possible. You should move.”

“Actually, he’s not bad. I take it back, I like him. You should listen to him.”

“I should move? I’m paying rent, he is just annoying me.”

“I would.” Hoseok offers. “There’s this really bad energy coming out of him straight to you.”

“Tell this kid he’s got a gift, Jeon.”

“I’m not moving, Hoseok. Find a way to kick him out of the world of the living or whatever.”

“Why not, it’s not like this apartment is anything special. I could hook you up with a much better one in my building, must be a lot cheaper too and it is ghost-free.”

“What?” Taehyung says, offended.

Jeongguk agrees. “Of course it is. It’s amazing.”

“It has a view.” Taehyung points, the city lights glowing, the river shining under the moonlight.

“And a fireplace.” Jeongguk completes. They look at each other.

“Whatever. The spirit’s not going anywhere for now. Do you have some soda or something? I’m parched. Maybe sprite, I love sprite.”

Jeongguk roll his eyes as Taehyung shows him his tongue. He is like a little kid. But much more annoying than that. Hoseok was his last hope. “Fine, c’mon.” He doesn’t have sprite, which upsets Hoseok for a bit, but he ends up accepting the diet coke he finds in the fridge. They are there in the kitchen and he is a bit antsy. “Could you please talk to him? Isn’t there something you could do to convince him to move on?”

Taehyung appears out of nowhere, mocking him. “Could you please talk to him? Grow up, Jeongguk. You lost. This is my apartment. You should leave, like I’ve been saying all along.”

“I’m ignoring you.” He says, not even looking at Taehyung, who gasps.

“I’m the one ignoring you.”

“He doesn’t accept that he is dead. That’s ridiculous, he can’t keep trying to live when he is not here anymore. He needs to accept that he is gone. I told him, go to the light. He didn’t.”

“That’s because there is no light, I told you that a million times over these weeks. You never listen to me. God, you are infuriating.”

Hoseok frowns. “Wait, what’s happening right now?”

Jeongguk groans, before he mimics a mouth with his hand. “Blah, blah, blah. He won’t shut the fuck up; it’s making me crazy.”

“Look, Jeon. Do you think I like this? That I’m rejoicing on the privilege of your delightful company? Do you think it’s easy for me? I know there’s something wrong, I’m walking through walls here and apparently my existence is trapped to you.” He complains, as Hoseok stars to flinch, his hands going for his temples as his head starts to hurt a lot.

“I don’t think I can help, Jeongguk. This is one of the most alive spirits I’ve ever seen. He is not going anywhere, like I said before. You should move on and leave him here.”

“That makes no sense.”

“I agree with him, man. He is not dead.” He says and Jeongguk looks at Taehyung, who is looking all smug, the little shit. Then Hoseok groans. “But you, God. You gotta deal with this.” He makes a general gesture around Jeongguk’s body. “This is the heaviest and darkest aura I’ve ever seen. It’s sucking the life right out of you, it’s killing you and just bumming out everyone around you, dude. You have to let it go.”

“How? He won’t leave.”

“I’m not talking about him or this. I’m talking about her, the one you keep wallowing about, with all this guilt and sadness. You keep her in there” He points to Jeongguk’s heart. “In such an unhealthy way. You need to accept what happened and move on. It’s what is really haunting you, isn’t it?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

Oh, but that piece of information wasn’t missed by Taehyung. The ghost comes right beside him, a little annoying smirk on his face. “Now I get it. Why you are such a loser. You were dumped. Probably for some guy who isn’t a useless jackass with a couch fused to his ass.”

“Shut up, Taehyung,”

“Oh, you can dish it out, but you can’t take it? You keep calling me dead guy, bringing a parade of horror movie characters to evaporate my existence, but I just mention about you getting dumped once and suddenly you are all sensible?”

“You don’t know shit about what you’re talking about. Shut the fuck up, your annoying little blond bitch.” he explodes, getting the fuck out of there. He is so tired of this, so tired of Taehyung and this hell he’s been living. He just wants some peace and quiet where he can drown in his misery alone.

Taehyung huffs, annoyed. A drama queen is what Jeongguk is. He is the one with the real problem here. He has nobody else to talk to and literally no body. Who gives a fuck that pretty boy got dumped?

“Sorry for your loss, bro.” Hoseok yells at the direction Jeongguk ran to, before he looks around and somehow is left facing Taehyung’s general location. “A little advice, sir. Show a little respect for the dead. He is mourning, that wasn’t cool.”

And he leaves. He drops a bomb on Taehyung’s lap and exits.

Oh. Now he is the jerk. How great.

He starts felling a little empty, like he is back in whatever place he goes when he is not with Jeongguk. Still, like always, he knows exactly where the boy is. The roof. And he can’t believe he is about to go there after him and apologize, but Taehyung always owns up to his mistakes.

He is there, in the edge, looking at the river. He has his back to Taehyung, but somehow, he knows Jeongguk senses he is there. “Jeongguk-ssi?” He realizes he never addressed Jeongguk right. They had been hostile from the start. Jeongguk looks at him, annoyed. “I’m sorry. I guess it never dawned on me that I don’t really know that much about you. I just judge you based on your current habits, but I never really considered that you might have a reason for it. A past.”

Jeongguk shrugs, so Taehyung decides to keep talking.

“I got this place for the roof, you know. My initial idea was to build someplace where I could maybe paint a bit. It used to be a hobby of mine. But then life got busy, and I decided that maybe I wanted a whole garden, to bring some color. I wanted many things. I also wanted a puppy, but he would just be alone in here. That would be cruel. But I digress... I-uh, I know that it’s hard to lose people. And most people dealing with loss feel better when they talk about it, so I’m offering. I’ll listen, seriously.”

Jeongguk turns quickly, screaming at him. “I don’t wanna talk about it! Much less with you.”

Taehyung flinches, and hugs himself, even though he can’t feel his own touch. “Anger works too, I guess. It’s one of the stages.” He says, as Jeongguk turns his back on him again. “Who was he talking about?”

“Hanna. Her name was Hanna.” Jeongguk says, without looking. Before he turns and starts walking away, passing Taehyung without acknowledging him presence, but still mumbling. “She was my wife.”

Woah. Wife.

Jeongguk is going down the stairs and yep, he is leaving. Taehyung never really saw himself out of the apartment. That time he fell, he was brought back. But maybe, if Jeongguk was leaving, he would be allowed to go too, because they both need to stay together. He is connected to Jeongguk, not the apartment, right?

The answer ends up being yes, because he is following a grumpy Jeongguk on the streets. He doesn’t show himself, watching as he goes down the street and turns and Taehyung remembers suddenly that there is a bar there that he passed by every day, but never entered.

Jeongguk is about to open the door when he puts his arm between them. “Don’t do this. You can’t keep wasting your life and getting drunk all day and night. You need to break this circle.”

“Get the fuck out of my way.”

“This isn’t helping, Jeongguk.”

“How the fuck would you know? Have you ever been in a bar in your life? Your annoying self probably doesn’t even know how to have fun. And you probably are a lightweight that can’t even handle a glass of wine.”

Taehyung has no answer for both of these assumptions. Still, he is adamant to fix the mistake he made, so he follows Jeongguk inside. He goes to the end of the bar, at the corner of the counter, where there’s two guys and three girls waiting. A guy dressed all in black sees Jeongguk and smiles, giving him a hug.

“Look who is here, Jeonggukie! When you asked me if I was about having fun on a friday night I was shocked. Jeongguk, these are my friends. Minjoon, Yoona, Jihee and Soomi. They all work at the clinic, different areas though. Guys, this is my best friend, I’ve probably talked about him.” Yoongi says over the loud music, before getting closer. “Minjoon is bi and available and Jihee is also single. I advise you to go for it.”

Jeongguk roll his eyes and calls for the bartender.

“Hi, I’ll have a-”

“Coffee.” Taehyung interferes. Jeongguk huffs.

“Scotch, neat.”

“Don’t you dare, Jeon Jeongguk. I'm not kidding.” Taehyung warns him and he just scoffs. He is a bossy ghost, but no more. Jeongguk is the master of his own life.

“Make it double, man.” He says, before turning to his friend group and completely ignoring Taehyung. They decide to move to a table that is big enough for all of them, not much far from the bar.

They start some small talk, the others telling him about how they met Yoongi, and they ask a few questions. Taehyung is sitting right beside him, but he is pretending not to see him, maybe that is the key for him going away. Fifteen minutes later, his drink has yet to arrive, but there’s no bother. He is having a bit of fun, and he is irritating Taehyung, who apparently hates being ignored, the little attention seeker that he is. Which, for Jeongguk, seems like a bonus. The bar is crowded too.

Sitting next to him is Minjoon and across from him is Jihee. They are both attractive, although not exactly his type (and why he looks to Taehyung for a second when he thinks that he doesn’t know). Still, Yoongi must have said he is single and bisexual, because they are both lowkey flirting with him.

Scratch that, high key. Jihee just started running her heel up his leg as he jumps a little. Taehyung frowns, looking at him and dives his head through the table, gasping before coming back. “She is rubbing her foot on you. Is that the way you want to deal with this? Oh! You are not having sex on my bed.”

Jeongguk can’t really answer, but he looks at his direction and smirks. Minjoon is talking now, and he turns and pays a lot of attention and Taehyung is getting tired.

The bartender calls for him at the bar and Jeongguk gets up to take his drink. The music is loud, but he can’t hear Taehyung annoyingly babbling beside him. “Shut up.” He says.

“If you want a hangover, maybe I’ll give you one.” He tells Jeongguk before trying to shove his hand inside his head. He dodges, like a lunatic. And Yoongi, who also needs a refill now, looks at him weirdly.

“Look at you now. Aren’t you excited?” He chuckles, before doing a little dance move. “That’s it, my boy. Friday night.”

Jeongguk smiles at him. It’s all Taehyung’s fault. But enough is enough. He grabs his glass. “NO!” He hears Taehyung and he looks like a kid that has been denied candy. His face is focused, and he looks a little peeve, which is cute.

What? No. He is not cute. He is a nightmare.

“You can’t drink your feelings away, Jeongguk.” He says, like a nagging mother.

Jeongguk glares at him. “Watch me.”

Yoongi looks around. There’s no one there. Why is Jeongguk being weird all of a sudden? He looks smug as he holds his glass. “Aren’t you gonna drink? You OK?”

“Say goodbye, Jeongguk. Leave and we will find a place to put some food on your stomach. I know very well that you’ve been living on pizza, chips and other take-out. And you barely ate these last few days. Beer is not food.”

“Who made you my mother?” He complains and Yoongi looks at him.

“I was just asking, geez.” He says, before he notices that Jeongguk wasn’t look at him. Oh, fuck no. He can’t be serious. “Jeongguk-ah... What happened to those hallucinations, huh bud?”

“You are not okay, Jeongguk.” Taehyung says.

“Shhh, that was nothing, dude. Just the lack of sleep, I’m fine now.” He says to Yoongi. Can’t he live for a bit without Taehyung meddling in his life?

“Yeah, you getting any?”

“Eight hours, yeah.”

Taehyung laughs. “More like twelve.”

“Nine, tops.”

“Please, post anesthesia patients are more alert than you, Jeon. When you’re not asleep, you are drunk and lying on a couch.”

“Will you knock it off?” He rages, before going for his drink. Which makes Taehyung throw a tantrum, because he is yelling for him not to drink it. He does what he does best, ignores him.

Which is a huge mistake.

Because suddenly he is cold and losing control of his movements. What the fuck? Is- Is Taehyung inside him? Is he being possessed? Oh, dear God, no. Is Taehyung going to take control of his body?

Still, he fights it, which turns into a duel between his hands, one trying to bring the drink to his mouth and the other really doing its best to prevent that. He has no idea what this must look like, but probably not very normal. Especially when he slaps himself and the glass falls and he awkwardly walks out the bar, even if he is trying his best to stay, one of his legs has decided he is going.

The minute he breathes fresh air, he like he jumps forward, and Taehyung is beside him, shaking. “That was gross.”

“What the fuck is your problem? You made me look crazy in there.”

“Oh, are you sad you lost your chance to have a threesome in my bed or something? Get over it, no one will remember this tomorrow. You don’t know these people.”

“I know Yoongi! And his friends will forever know me as the weird crazy guy who fought himself not to drink. You are ruining everything.”

“Have you considered getting help? Seeing a therapist that is not your best friend. Yes, I noticed you talked to him about me. Hallucinations, that’s revolting. And you’re gonna thank me one day.”

“Not likely, blondie.” He says, before he storms off. Taehyung sighs. He is crossing the street and walking towards the park. He watches as Jeongguk sits on a bench, head low on his hands. He follows, because what else can he do? Either he is with Jeongguk or he doesn’t exist.

Jeongguk groans when he sits beside him. “The fuck you still doing here?”

“Wish I knew. Why are you the only one that can see me? You didn’t even know me before I... became a spirit, right? Didn’t I have a family or friends or something. Why am I stuck with... ugh... you?”

“Fuck if I knew, blondie.” Taehyung scoffs. He hates not being called by his name.

“Jeongguk. When I’m not with you, it’s like I cease to exist. Do you know how frustrating that is? Because it’s either not existing or being with someone who makes me crazy. I don’t want to be near you just as much as you don’t want me near you. But I don’t have a choice. Oh, God. Maybe I am dead.”

Jeongguk looks at him, all defeated thrown on the bench. “Oh, c’mon now. Are you giving up? Right now? Sorry I said you were dead, maybe you’re not. Maybe you’re just light or survived a chemical lab explosion, I don’t know. That blond girl, from Fantastic Four.”

“What?”

“Figures you don’t know comics. Or current movies.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I don’t know much as of yet. Still, it would be a lot easier if I did know something about myself, you know? Who I was, people I knew, what I did? Maybe then I could know what happened and what to do to fix this.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“If only I had to power to walk around and search for things.” He pouts, eyes glowing like a small puppy and Jeongguk freezes. The fuck is happening?

“Why do you have that face? What happened to your eyes, they went all- soft and shit?”

“If only there was a way, I could find out who I am.”

“You have got to be kidding me. Do you want me to help you after everything you did? Ruining my days, bothering me on my apartment, making me waste millions of won in stupid shit to get rid of you?”

“Jeongguk. There’s two things you can do. You either can help me and accept that the universe put me in your life in an unconventional way for some reason and help me find out why. Or you need to accept that you’ve gone crazy and are now in a park, at night, sitting on a bench talking to yourself.”

In the end, it wasn’t a tough decision.

They start with neighbors. There are another five apartments in the building. They start on the first floor. The first one is an older couple who said he looked like a nice young man but was very quiet. The other was lawyer who said she barely had time for herself, much else for her to get to know neighbors. She said she had seen Taehyung once and thought he was cute, and that was a long time ago, she thought it was vacant. On the second floor, the first guy also thought the apartment was empty. Jeongguk had already talked to the nice lady on their floor who said Taehyung was a very busy guy and she almost never saw him, but he had helped her with her groceries once or twice. Last one was the smaller unit on the second floor.

Jeongguk was laughing a little. “Shut up, she said I was busy. Not everyone chooses to be friendly with their neighbors.”

He pressed the doorbell, and it didn’t take long for the girl to open the door. She was more their age, and she was wearing a top and yoga pants. “Oh, she seems more normal. I bet we were friends. I have this sense that I like yoga.”

Jeongguk looks at her. She seems not at all like the type Taehyung would hang out with. There’s some current music playing, and she is much more the sporty type. Taehyung seems like an isolated guy, but everything can be a clue. “Hi, my name is Jeongguk. I’m your new upstairs neighbor and I’ve got some letter to give to the former tenant. Did you know him? I can’t find him anywhere.”

“I’m Nayoung. Yes, I think there was somebody up there. But they were totally antisocial, you know?”

Jeongguk nods and Taehyung shrugs. “Ok, maybe we weren’t close friends.”

“You know, like those crazy cat people, but sadder, because he had no cats. Kind of boring looking, the type that can’t talk about anything interesting. I once had this party, and he called the cops.”

Jeongguk tries not to laugh. Taehyung glares at her. “We are clearly done here. Let’s go, Jeon.”

“Ok, thank you for your help.” Jeongguk says, running his hand through his head and chuckling. Taehyung is so stubborn, it’s kind of funny. He can’t admit that he isn’t exactly what Jeongguk said he was. He is about to leave when she holds him by his shirt.

“Hey, this is kind of forward, but my window is stuck. Do you know anything about home repairs? I'm totally out of money to call someone to help.”

Taehyung is back in an instant. “She’s got to be kidding.” He looks very peeved, throwing daggers at her with his eyes. “Lady, you just badmouthed a possibly dead person and now you are hitting on my... assistant.”

Jeongguk freezes. She is not hitting on him. Taehyung is being dramatic. “Uh, did you try jamming with a screwdriver or something, I don’t know, sometimes it gets a little stuck.”

“Yes, didn’t move. I’m such a mess with those things.”

“She’s not even trying to be subtle.”

“What?” Jeongguk says. Taehyung has his arms crossed and he is clearly impatient.

“She wants you to come inside. Ugh. Say you are busy and let’s continue, we are wasting our time here with Ms. Yoga Pants. Seriously, who does yoga with this loud music playing? No wonder I called the cops, the disrespect, throwing a party. There are elderly people in this building.”

Yeah, and you are one of them, Jeongguk thinks. “Uh, I wish I could help but I have dinner plans.”

“Oh, I have some dessert.” She smiles at him and Jeongguk scratches his head, laughing a little. Taehyung snorts.

“I think my soul just threw up. Let’s go, Jeon. Stop drooling. Guys are just gross.” He says, already going up the stairs. Jeongguk follows him.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Because we have more important things to do than to flirt with a girl that was clearly judgmental about me, and don’t you think she was being a little hasty? What attractive quality did she possibly see on you anyways?”

“You are just offended that she said you were a lonely loser just like you accuse me to be. And I wasn’t flirting with her, if I wanted sex or a date, I would have accepted all the dates Yoongi tried to set me up with. I almost went to one, you know. But I’m not interested in that, which includes her.”

“I’m glad you have some sense left in your beer-filled body. Clearly, neighbors were a bad plan. I was busy, so maybe I spent most of my time out. Maybe in someone else’s house.”

“What, did you have a girlfriend or something?”

“Boyfriend.” He says quickly, surprising even himself. “Uh, it would have been a boyfriend, actually.”

“Alright, it narrows it down.” Jeongguk says, before running his hands over his pockets. “Fuck, I forgot the keys inside the apartment.”

“Just use the one under the fire extinguisher. So, I’m gay, I hadn’t thought about my sexuality until now, but it seems to be pretty figured out. If I had someone, clearly, I didn’t bring him here. Maybe it’s not very serious yet.”

Jeongguk grabbed the key, getting them inside (as if Taehyung needed to wait, as he could just go through the wall). He went straight to the kitchen. “Look, when we continue this, I’ll be going to those places by myself, alright?”

“What? No. It’s my life.”

“Taehyung, not to offend you or anything, but you are like this annoying radio that I can’t turn off, talking non-stop inside my head.” He informs the ghost, before he picks up a bottle of beer, going through the drawers for a bottle-opener. That's why he had been using cans.

“Top one in the left.” Taehyung informs him. “Look, I'll try to be quiet, but I need to go with you and see if I can recognize stuff, you know?” Jeongguk shushes him. “Did you just shush me?”

“I think I got a new lead.” He said, showing some papers. “This invitation for a restaurant opening night and there’s an address written in here in very ugly handwriting, I guess you were not a calligraphy teacher. And a dry-cleaning receipt. Can you read this number? Is that a five or a six?”

“That’s clearly a five, Jeongguk. As if your handwriting is perfect. What are you waiting for? Finish your beer and let’s pick my clothes up and visit this address.”

The dry-cleaning place turned out to be a bust. Not only they didn’t know anything and couldn’t disclose her info, but the man had called him dull, sad and lonely and he also had donated his expensive designer pants. He would make sure to complain when he was back to normal. Jeongguk kept asking for him leave it alone. “They’re pants, what do you need them for? You can’t change outfits. Be glad, at least we know you are a label-whore.”

“Shut up, I’ve been through your closet. You are rich and even your dirty clothes are expensive. You are not that different.”

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to be a label-whore. Fashion is an important expression of oneself. This address is not very close, we will need to get my car.”

When they get to the garage Jeongguk leaves his car in, Taehyung snorts. “Label-whore. You don’t leave your house and yet you have an expensive car. The fuck is that?”

“It’s a Mercedes. Look, I like cars, alright? I like driving. I happen to own a motorcycle too.” Actually, his car was one of his only possessions he kept. “I bought this car with money I’ve saved my whole life. Sure, my parents are rich, and I have a lot of money from my grandparent’s trust fund, but this I bought with my hard work. I’m proud of it.”

They get inside the car and Jeongguk easily maneuvers it out of the parking spot, and they are out on the streets. “I never asked, what do you do? Or did, I guess.”

“I was an architect.” He answers. “I did design for constructions at first, but then I changed it into something a little more artistic. Like landscaping. I created different things than the usual buildings. I got pretty on demand, if I’m being honest. Had a huge commission of this elderly couple who lived in this big house outside of town. I learned things quickly, so I’ve picked up techniques and liked to oversee the work myself. Soon, I joined the crew. The final touches I did all on my own.”

“That’s... cool, actually. Don’t you miss it?”

Jeongguk’s hands tighten around the wheel. “I don’t know. I don’t feel very creative.”

“You know, not trying to sound creepy, but I’ve observed you a lot these past weeks. I can’t do anything else. You do the crosswords, but you give up in the middle, but you doodle flowers all around the paper. The one time you cooked, you did like a gourmet plate. Your fingers sometimes move in tempo with songs. You have a lot of creative energy; you just need to let it out.”

“My muse is dead.”

“I might be dead and all I want right now is live and somehow, I recognize that in you. You don’t want to die or keep living like you’re dead. You are done mourning. You have another problem, and it’s not necessarily about the loss. You feel something else.”

“Can’t we change the subject?”

“Uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to meddle.” Taehyung says, looking out the window. Jeongguk turns to see him. It’s been different, now. He is more subdued. A few days ago, he would never have apologized to him. But now he did about the thing with Hanna and now this.

“You don’t need to apologize, Taehyung. I just rather not think about this. Let’s focus about you, ok? We didn’t get a lot of information from the first few clues, so we need this to be the one. It’s the last thing we have.”

“Jeon, you are helping me, and I will respect you. I don’t want to impose you. Sure, at first you were the annoying guy that was invading my apartment. But now I understand what happens and something is bringing us together.”

Jeongguk nods and they continue their route in silence. Something had changed, it’s like he now wishes that Taehyung is not dead, it’s a weird feeling. Why would he do that? It’s not like they are friends or anything. Sure, he would be glad for Taehyung to be alive, because he would never wish for someone to be dead, but something inside him yearns for them to find answers. Will they be friends or something like that?

The address takes them to a street with similar looking houses. They all look nice, with a little front porch and a garden. They get out of the car, Jeongguk walking up the stairs on the house with the number 425. Taehyung stays down for a while, looking around, frowning. “Does it looks familiar to you?”

“I don’t think so.”

Jeongguk sighs. Some things come so quickly to him. The location of a spare key, the bottle opener, the stain on the fucking pillow, how expensive his designer pants were. Others the guy can’t remember, the important ones. It's a little frustrating. He rings the doorbell, hoping it’s a jackpot.

After a while, this older dude gets to the door. He looks at Jeongguk and scoffs. “I’m not buying anything, thank you.”

“Great, because I’m not here to sell you things. Look, this might be a strange thing to ask, but do you know a young guy, late-twenties, blond hair, lean, about 1,78m?” He asks the guy, who is now looking at him with a scared look.

“Who are you?”

“Uh, I’m just-”

“Did my wife hire you? I knew it, she’s been so weird. Look, whatever money my wife offered you, I will double it, no, triple it, if you just let this one go, alright. No need to say anything. Meet me here again at six and I’ll give you your money. And then you say to her that you found nothing, okay?”

He slammed the door on their faces as both of them looked at each other, horrified. The guy was at least in his fifties. Jeongguk snorts. “Oh, dear God.”

“No.”

“Amazing.”

“Oh, please. You are not actually thinking that I actually had sex with that old cheater. I would never get with a closeted, married man. Who do you think I am?”

“I don’t know, blondie, looks that way. You lived a pretty fancy life. And I don’t know who you are, I thought that was the whole point. You had an address and the guy recognized someone like you as his secret lover.”

Taehyung shivers. “First, it’s Taehyung, not Tete, not blondie. Second, I wouldn’t, so shut up. It must be another way to explain this. That is disgusting.”

“The bright side, at six today, I will be collecting some money.” Jeongguk jokes, opening the door for Taehyung, who scoffs, but thanks him and gets inside. “You are welcome, Tete.”

They both settle inside. “Oh, my God. Maybe I was a sugar baby. A lonely, homewrecking sugar baby who had sex with old dudes for that apartment. Still, wouldn’t the neighbors have noticed me, a young attractive man, receiving visits from that pervert?”

Jeongguk laughs. “Relax, maybe you were a private investigator that the wife had hired. Do you think that guy tried to kill you? The plot thickens.”

“I don’t know, both things aren’t triggering my memory. It’s just not something that sounds familiar.” He says to Jeongguk, as he starts driving away.

On the other side of the street, on house number 426, a grieving mentor gets out to check her mail before driving to the hospital.

Jeongguk and Taehyung are walking around, discussing their findings, that so far haven’t been that good. The blond is sure he is not a sugar baby or a private investigator. He doesn’t recognize the man or the house. He is starting to lose hope.

“Maybe we should give the secret lover angle another shot if this doesn’t pan out. There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy sexual appetite or use it as a mean to obtain an honest living. If the guy is married, it’s his problem. I’m not married.”

“Taehyung, I was joking a bit with you, but from what I've known about you so far, you don’t look like someone who gets supported by old married lovers. You are very self-sufficient and kind of annoying. What I’m trying to say is, you’re too much of a brat. I wouldn’t pay money to have your bossy little ass nagging at me.”

“You are a jerk.”

“I'm trying to compliment you, blondie.”

“I don’t know why I am trying to argue with you about that, you probably only have your right hand for company. You can’t judge me for liking older men.” Jeongguk snorts. It’s not like he is a saint, he has slept with people after his wife died, but usually it’s a casual encounter, no names, no pillow talk. “Oh, look, that’s the restaurant, oh, my God, it looks so pretty.”

“Do you recognize it?” Jeongguk asks, suddenly excited. Finally, a good lead. Taehyung nods, smiling and Jeongguk must admit, he has a beautiful smile. More like a beautiful everything, objectively speaking. Still, his smile is adorable. “Good, let’s go in.”

Getting inside the restaurant, they can see it is a fancy one. There is a hostess at the door, who asks if he has reservations. Jeongguk just says he is looking for someone, trying to dodge her, to give Taehyung time to analyze the place. “Moon Plaza, it’s a nice name. I feel like I love this restaurant.”

“Probably came here all the time, let’s give out your description to someone.”

“No, I never came. I meant to, but something stopped me. But I was planning to, eventually. Someone always nagged me to come, this smell, it’s delicious, it’s mouthwatering and so familiar.”

“Apparently there was something that kept you so busy you couldn’t live your life properly. You didn’t go to places around the neighborhood, you had no friends over, your neighbors didn’t know you, you have a restaurant you love, but never went to? What is it? Can’t be a lover. He would probably just see you a few times during the week or something. Probably wouldn’t last long either.”

“Yeah, I feel like I had so many things I wanted to do, but something else always took priority, but I can’t remember what.”

“Well, let’s go, blondie. Maybe we need to search better around the apartment for other clues. These were all a bust anyways.” Jeongguk offers, his hand going around Taehyung to make him move, even though they couldn’t touch.

They are about to reach to the door when a man jumps from his table, hands pressing his chest before he stumbles around and falls on the floor. People panic, his company looking horrified. “Oh, my God, is he choking?” The waiter asks, but it doesn’t look. Both Jeongguk and Taehyung turn to watch the commotion.

There’s a woman opening his collar. “Is he breathing? Does he have a pulse?”

“Call an ambulance first.” Taehyung says and Jeongguk looks at him. “Always call for help first.”

“Do you want me to call?” Jeongguk asks, watching as Taehyung start walking towards the guy.

The hostess is beside him, looking panicked. “I don’t think he is breathing, should we do mouth-to-mouth?”

“Must be a heart attack, we need to do chest compressions?” A guy offers from the crowd.

“Are you a doctor?” The waiter asks. “We can’t do anything rash. Is anybody in here a doctor?”

“You should call for an ambulance!” Taehyung yells. Jeongguk runs towards him and then looks for the people around the guy.

“Someone call an ambulance, now!” He yells. Taehyung is already kneeling beside the body, looking around. There’s a new man and he is on the other side, pushing his sleeves up to do chest compressions.

“NO! Feel his chest?” He yells.

No one listens, only Jeongguk, who gets in the middle of all those people. “What?”

“I don’t think he is having a heart attack, if his heart is beating and they do chest compressions, that won’t be good. I need you to feel his chest.”

“Why? How would I know what to do with that?”

“Just do it, please!” Taehyung barks and Jeongguk complies. “See if it is bloated, can you feel his ribs? His arm veins are popping.”

“Not exactly, only if I press down.” Jeongguk answers and the man in front of his frowns.

“What are you doing?”

Taehyung snorts. “Ignore him. Does he feel bloated?”

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, I think so, kinda.”

“Think what, dude? Who are you?” This time is the water who is asking.

“Jeongguk, listen to me and repeat what I say. Ask for a shark knife and a bottle of vodka.” He nods again and asks for those. The waiter seems to listen to him for whatever reason and soon the hostess is back with a very sharp knife and a bottle of vodka. For what, he has no idea.

“What's wrong?” Someone asks.

“He has a tension pneumothorax.” Taehyung informs Jeongguk, that nods, but has no idea what it is.

“It's a tension nemothaxer.”

Taehyung glares at him. “Jeon, pneumothorax.”

“I meant pneumothaxer.”

“Pneumothorax!”

“Pneumathurman.” He tries and Taehyung sighs.

“Never mind, Jeongguk. That’s not important. Just tell them that there is air escaping from the lungs into his chest.”

Jeongguk looks around. “Uh, doesn’t matter. There’s air coming from the lungs to his chest.”

“That’s it, now open his shirt.”

“Open his shirt.” Jeongguk says to the guy in front of him.

“No! You do it, God!” Taehyung points out. How difficult it is to follow orders?

“Wait! I’ll do it.” He says, before quickly opening his shirts, buttons be damned.

“There is a valve at the opening of the lungs, if it doesn’t close, it constricts the lungs and will compress the organs. Now, you need to find the second or fourth intercostal space. That is a space between his ribs, feel it.” Jeongguk just obeys, blindly search for ribs. It feels so nerve-wracking. “A little bit lower. Can you feel the spot between the two ribs?” Another nod. “Great, splash some vodka on it.” Jeongguk opens the bottle of vodka, pouring a lot over his chest. “That’s great, you’re doing fine. Now grab the knife.”

What? Jeongguk freezes and looks at Taehyung in desperation. “Ok, wait a second. Uh, can I ask everybody to stand back a little bit? Clear the way, people! Move, move, I need space to work here. A bit further, please. Yes, there you go, a little bit more. Thank you.” He yells, people stepping back. Then, he turns to Taehyung, hissing. “What? Why do I need the knife?”

“You need to make an incision.”

“You know what? No.” The ghost can’t be serious.

“You need to. Now!”

“The fuck I do.” He whispers.

“Jeongguk, this man’s life is in your hands. Do you really want to give it up because you are scared of a little knife? It’s just a small incision in that space between his ribs, in the mid-axillary line.”

“I don’t know what that means, and I can’t stab a man.”

“In the middle of the armpit, alright. You can’t hit the heart or something else. There’s nothing to be afraid of, you are not stabbing him. Hold it like a pencil and press it in that space, you are going to make a hole for the air to escape, so he can’t breathe.”

“How do you know all that?”

“I have no idea how I know it, Jeongguk, I just do, I’m sure of it. Put the knife there.” He is shaking a little when he presses the knife between the guy’s ribs. “Please, Jeon. You need to push it harder than that, you are barely applying pressure.” Jeongguk huffs, doing as he is told. “Harder, you need to cut a hole, not scratch him.”

“Oh, dear Lord.”

“That’s great, perfect. Now get the pourer from the bottle and put it in the incision, you need to keep the wound open so the air can escape. Ideally, we would have a chest tube, but anyway.” Jeongguk nods, pushing out the pourer and then eyeing the bottle before he downs a good measure down his throat. Taehyung gasps at him, everyone looking confused. He just fucking stabbed a dude, give him a fucking break. “Jeongguk, that’s not the place. Put the pourer on the hole you made.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Do it, dammit!” He yells and Jeongguk does it, putting it there and feeling as the air being to escape, deflating his chest and suddenly, the guy starts breathing. “He is breathing!” Taehyung cheers.

Jeongguk does it too, a little dizzy. “He is breathing!”

People start cheering and hugging and Taehyung is frozen. That was incredible. He almost feels alive, it’s so familiar, that must be a piece of the puzzle. “I’m a doctor.”

“I’m a doctor!” Jeongguk yells, finally able to breathe again.

“The ambulance is arriving.” Someone warns them. The guy will be fine, because of them.

“You are amazing.” Jeongguk says to Taehyung, smiling at him and Taehyung feels that if he was alive, he would probably burst and blush like a tomato. Jeongguk is beaming at him, his teeth poking like a little bunny, nose scrunched, and he looks so young and beautiful.

“Yeah, uh, thanks.”

It doesn’t take long for the paramedics to go in, and Taehyung instructs Jeongguk in what to say, but soon gets out of the way. They better not be asking too much, especially since Jeongguk is not a doctor. They are tending to the man when Taehyung pulls Jeongguk to a corner and says he should ask someone there about the nearest hospital.

“Shouldn’t we look for the one closer to your apartment?” He says while fishing for his phone and searching for hospitals near their address. There are a few and he shows them to Taehyung. They are sitting in the car. “Do any of those seems familiar to you?”

Taehyung nods, pointing at the map. “I think this is it.”

“Alright, that’s great.”

“I can’t believe it. I might sleep with married men, but I save lives.”

“I doubt you really slept with that guy, but you are right. It’s- I never saved a life before, I feel kinda of weird and full of adrenaline. Thank you for- uh, for instructing me.”

“Isn’t it the best, to be running against the clock and going against all odds, the monitor says game over, but you don’t give up and bring them back, there’s this bleep and-”

“Oh, God! There’s blood on my hand.” Jeongguk screams, suddenly very pale as he falls back to his sit, clearly disturbed.

“Oh, c’mon now. It’s just a little blood. Jeongguk, you need to drive me, get yourself together.” Taehyung tells him. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, before grabbing this cloth on the glove compartment and wiping of the blood from his hand.

Once Jeongguk feels a little better from his dramatic fit, they drive towards the hospital. When they get there, it’s huge, but so familiar. That was it. Taehyung’s true home. They go to the main entrance of the hospital, that seems to be divided in different centers. Inside, those white walls and people running in dark blue or turquoise scrubs and white coats, it’s amazing. “I work here, Jeongguk.”

“You did?”

“Yes, look at the counter. The receptionist. Her name is Dahyun and she makes these amazing cupcakes she brings to some of the staff. We need to go and ask her about me, she will know.”

They walk towards the counter. She is a young woman with dark blue hair, wearing light colored clothing and a badge. Doesn’t seem to be a healthcare professional, but Taehyung remembers she keeps things so organized for them, helping the nurses a lot to run the ER. Jeongguk stops in front of her, that does a hand gesture, signaling that she will be right there with him, and she types around in her computer, before she looks at Jeongguk and smiles. “Hi, how can I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Jeon Jeongguk and I’m looking for my friend, he is a doctor here.”

“Oh, what’s his name, I can try and page them for you.”

“Uh, Taehyung.” The moment he says the name, her eyes go wide, and she deflates a bit, a sad expression settling in her face for a second before she stands.

“Taehyung? You mean Dr. Kim Taehyung?”

“Yes! Oh, my God. Kim. That’s my surname, Jeongguk. Dr. Kim Taehyung, that’s me.” Taehyung jumps around happily. “Finally.”

“Yes, Dr. Kim.”

Dahyun nods. “Hold on, let me talk to someone.” She tells Jeongguk, before she goes to the back of the counter and grabs a phone. She waits for someone to answer and then she starts talking, her face serious.

“Oh, no. She has been using that tone.”

“What tone?”

“The tone that she is trying to pass the burden of warning someone’s next of kin to other person, to tell them that their relative or spouse died. I am dead. This is awful.”

Dahyun comes back. “Uh, excuse me, sir. Dr. Kim is not active in our staff right now, but I’ve contacted Dr. Kang, which was one of his colleagues to talk to you. One need to go straight left to the elevator and go to the third-floor nurse’s station. She will be waiting for you.”

He nods and they both walk towards the elevator. “Dr. Kang Sora was my mentor, that can’t be good. I’m either dead or maybe I killed someone, got fired? I don’t know. Doesn’t look good, Dahyun looked awful.” When the elevator arrives on their floor, they get out and there’s a beautiful woman with short black hair and a serious expression waiting for them. “Oh no, look at her. She looks so down. Dahyun wouldn’t send us to her if it wasn’t something bad.”

“Mr. Jeon?” She asks and Jeongguk nods, offering his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Kang Sora. I heard you were inquiring about Dr. Kim Taehyung?”

“Nice to meet you as well, Dr. Kang. Yes, uh, could you tell me where he is? What happened to her? He told me he worked here.” He tells her.

“First, Mr. Jeon, I’ll need to know what exactly your relationship with him was.”

“Alright, you’ll need to tell her you are my boyfriend, okay? She can’t disclose information for just about anyone, she needs to know we have an intimate connection. She probably knows my family, so boyfriend it is.”

“Uh, we- uh- we were romantic- uh- with each other. Me and- uh- Taehyung.”

“Great job, Jeon. She will totally believe you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I meant like- boyfriend and boyfriend kind of thing, we were still working on these details.”

“Yes.” She chuckles. “I understood what you meant with romantic, it’s just so hard to believe that he would be romantically involved with someone.”

“What?” Taehyung yelps.

“What?”

“Why?”

“Why?” Jeongguk keeps repeating after him like an idiot.

“It’s just that- he never said anything about dating, and yes, sometimes we kept things for ourselves, and I might be a colleague, but we were friends. He was supposed to go visit my new house and was there for me in moments I needed.” Taehyung nods, oh, her house. That was a six, he remembers now. She had recently divorced her husband. “But Taehyung’s whole life was his hospital and his patients, and I never heard about any date he’s been on.”

“Was? Did she say was?”

“Yeah, well. This was a fairly recent ordeal, I mean- I live in his apartment.”

“JEON!”

“Building. Had just moved in and we met on the stairs one day and well, you know him, right? He is beautiful, so I kind of blabbed and asked him out and I guess he took pity of me and invited me for dinner at his place. He has a far better view.”

Sora seems to be more on board with the notion. “Yes, he has a beautiful place. And he’s amazing, I can totally understand.”

“I just- I can’t contact him and maybe I’m being an idiot and he is not interested-”

“Oh, God. So, you don’t know about the accident?”

“Accident?” Jeongguk asks. “No, I was out of town.”

They start talking about it, but Taehyung is no longer listening, because he is seeing it. He is there, driving, there’s music playing and suddenly there’s this loud horn and there’s a truck coming in his direction. It’s dark and it’s raining, and he feels so cold. “Jeongguk, I remember. It was awful.”

“It was around four months ago.”

Four months. And yet, Jeongguk only appeared in his life like a month ago, so he spent three months in nothingness. What happened? Suddenly, he can feel his heart beating, his hands flying to his chest. He is cold, so cold, like there’s wind blowing and his is floating. He sees a door; and he knows that’s where he is. Still, it’s a big shock to open the door and he himself lying there on the bed. His heartbeats are steady, and they are tracking brain activity. He is just motionless, the bed perfectly done, his hands by his side. His hair is longer, and he can see the brown roots showing and contrasting against his blond hair. There he is, breathing tube, heart monitor, under those blue sheets, wearing a hospital gown. In a coma.

Jeongguk opens the door. “What was that, dude... you were like... flying! Oh, my god! That’s you.” He gets closer, watching Taehyung’s sleeping form. “You were right. You’re not dead, you’re alive.”

“But it’s not good, Jeongguk. I’m in a coma.”

“It’s way better than dead! Look at you, no scars, no injuries. Your face is pretty. You are beautiful, actually. You look like an angel.”

“Four months, Jeongguk. That’s a persistent coma. The longer I’m here, the less likely it will be that I will wake up. I might as well be dead.”

“Shut up. That’s why we are here, we need to do something about this. Your body is healthy, your spirit is here, so what’s the problem, c’mon. Let's solve this.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. You are the doctor here.”

“Right, but I have no idea. I don’t exactly deal with patients missing spirits, you know.” He whines. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, there he is, little annoying bossy blond. Still, he is smiling. “Maybe I can try and get inside it?”

“Sure.” He says and spirit Taehyung sits on the bed and dives inside his lying body. Something changes on the monitors, but Jeongguk can’t see what. “I think is working?”

“Really? Because it doesn’t really feel like it, you know.” Taehyung tries moving inside his body. But it's not working. He doesn't feel connected to it anymore. "It's not. It's like I can't stick to it."

"Maybe you're not grabbing on strong enough. Go, really try to stay inside. Isn't cozy? All warm and alive? So much better than being ectoplasm all around, floating in the universe. Isn’t it cool to feel your heart beating and your own breathing?" Jeongguk tries to help, but Taehyung feels like he is swimming in it. He can’t even control it, like he did Jeongguk,

"Jeon, it's not the way to go. " Taehyung says, sitting on the bed, his body still lying there. He gets out of it, looking around the room, only to notice he received a few gifts. He goes there, seeing all the things people put under his window. Like the picture from his nightstand.

"I got an idea. Look at the window." Jeongguk says, before he gets closer to Taehyung's body. God, he is so beautiful. Looking so fragile, but peaceful. And alive. He is alive and that news gives him some relief. Just a few days prior, he was trying to get rid of him, but now he'd do anything to make him stay. Slowly, he caresses Taehyung' face, feeling his soft cheek under his palm, his thumb stroking the smooth skin. He has a few moles, and his eyelashes are so long and pretty. His other hand goes for his forearm, caressing it downwards until he is holding his hand.

From the window, Taehyung feel something in his cheek, his own hang jumping there to chase that sensation, following that warm touch. It feels nice, like it burns, but in the most delicious way. A new feeling bloom in his forearm and suddenly there's a hand holding his and a nice tingle start on his fingers. "Are you touching my face and holding my hand?"

"Yes, you have nice hands. So delicate.” Jeongguk tells him and Taehyung hurts. He is being so thoughtful and soft. He turns, a little shocked seeing Jeongguk looking at him so fondly, lost on the feeling of Taehyung’s body under his palms. “Do you see this? You are still connected to this body; we just need to find a way to get you to stuck in there. It's getting late, maybe we should go home and call Hoseok, he might help us with an insight."

That gets him a little antsy. "I can't leave my body, Jeongguk."

"Taehyung, you don't exist far away from me. And your mentor won't let me spend the night. She barely let me in. I know it's hard to let go, but you are not alone in here. She said that you receive visits every day. I promise you that tomorrow we are going to wake up early and come back here and you will be able to see them. I'll hide somewhere so you can walk around the hospital. Is that good?"

Taehyung nods. "You are right, sorry. I'm just so worried. I want to come back." he says, looking around to all the drawing his nieces left him. He needs to comeback even more now that he knows what is waiting for him. His amazing best friend, his sweet cousin, his loving brother, his adorable nieces, his kind parents and grandparents. His job and his friends here. Even Jeongguk, who is not who he thought he was, who might need him, who shouldn’t deal with another loss. Jeongguk that was right there beside him, looking at all those flowers and memories. "That’s the picture that was in the nightstand."

Jeongguk hums, and then laughs, joking around. “Is that you? In a bar?"

"It’s one of the last times I remember being in one. I was finishing med school and I needed to take the Korean Medical Licensing Examination. I had been studying like crazy and then I a few weeks before, I decided I was ready and would do a practice test. Full works, with the same timing and all the stress, like it was for real. I felt really good about it."

"And you aced it? Is that you celebrating with your friends?"

"The opposite. I’m not very good with written tests, I get really nervous. I had to take the CSAT a bunch of times for practice so I could get past my freezing stage. I'm more of a hands-on learner, so this is also how I show my knowledge. I was a top student, and I was getting better in tests, but still when the pressure was that high, I caved to my nerves. But I did that one just fine. Until the results came back, and I had failed bad. I cried for twenty minutes before I tried to go to the library to start studying and practicing again. But my brother Jin said: no, you are going to get pretty and I'm taking you and Jimin, that’s my best friend, to get wasted. We went to the bar, drank and danced and it was the most fun I've ever had. I almost missed it. Jin then got a lighter and we burned my results and he said that they never happened. Next practice I got an amazing score. And when the day came, I had nothing to worry about. Except that Jin would get me drunk again. Which he did."

"He sounds like a good brother." Jeongguk says, watching as Taehyung starts crying. It’s weird, the concept of ghost tears, but it hurts him all the same seeing it. He wants to hold him, but he can’t.

"He is. The best. The restaurant we were in before. It's his. I couldn't go to the opening because that night I got to do a solo surgery on a trauma patient. A super difficult one. Took about twelve hours."

"What about him?" He points to the cute guy with the pink hair on the other side of Taehyung, laughing as the test burns in front of them.

Taehyung is about so answer when they hear a small commotion outside. It was almost like they called him, somehow, because suddenly there’s this really angry voice and that was definitely Jimin. He is talking to Sora, who looks like she is trying to appease the man. Then, another voice, a guy that sounds much calmer. Namjoon. “That’s Jimin, my best friend.” He tells Jeongguk, as the door bursts open.

“Who the fuck are you?" The guy in front of him is a lot different than the one from the picture. His hair is a darker blond than Taehyung’s and he is wearing light green scrubs. The man beside him is a lot taller, a white coat over his navy scrubs.

Taehyung gasps when he sees his best friend and cousin in front of him after so long. "Oh, my God. Jeongguk, it’s Jimin, and Namjoon, who is my cousin. He is also Chief of Surgery and Jimin’s husband.”

"Hi, I'm Jeongguk." He introduces himself, a little awkwardly. These people did just burst inside the room, where he was supposedly visiting his boyfriend, who was in a coma and definitely not beside him in spirit.

"Hello, Jeongguk-ssi. I'm Dr. Kim Namjoon, and this is Park Jimin. We were told someone came to see Taehyung, claiming to be romantic involved with him. We are his family, so I'm sorry to ask, but-" He tries to be polite, but his husband cuts him off.

"We know you are lying. He wasn't seeing anyone. Taehyung tells me everything. He calls me to ask what kind of pizza he should order or if he should use strawberry or lavender bath salts, so excuse me if I find the fact that he somehow hid a boyfriend from me very unlikely."

Jeongguk raised his brows in shock. He was a feisty one. Little, but deadly. He looks at Taehyung, who is on side, eyes sad. "Oh, Minie, I would never hide anything from you. I missed so much, my soulmate. Why can't you see me? I’m here, please, see me."

"We met at our building. It was just one of those things. Those moments where you know you are in front of someone special.” Taehyung smiles at him and Jeongguk’s heart is bursting. “We had a few dates, which was very special to me. I guess, maybe he didn't think so. I had to go out of town for a few months and I said I would look for him when I came back."

Jimin frowns, not buying it. "Did you sleep with him?"

Taehyung gasps. “He is just trying to throw you off. I don’t know what you should answer, to be honest. Either way it’s going to sound made up.”

"That's personal." Jeongguk answers, clearing his throat and looking at his feet. Dear Lord, he is being questioned by Taehyung’s relatives. What a crazy day.

"Oh, please. If you took him on a date, with those muscles and this face, he would have pounced on you like a hungry lion." Jimin says, making Jeongguk choke on his on spit. What?

"Oh, God. Jimin." Taehyung complains, embarrassed. Yeah, so now he knows that Jeongguk is exactly his type, the whole cute face, but perfect hot body. But he didn't need him to know it. He was sure Jeongguk would bug him about it later, the jerk.

"I get it that you are worried, but I just want him to be okay. We had this weird connection. A thing that only happens once in a lifetime. That it doesn’t seem real at first. I think we were both scared." That part is true. They did have a connection, probably even more complex than they knew it to be. Taehyung appeared to Jeongguk and him only for a reason.

"So, you did fuck, is that what you are saying?"

"Jimin, please. Let’s talk about this like adults and also medical professionals. Why would this young man lie about knowing Taehyung? He is just visiting him; I see no harm in that. He sounds genuine about being concerned for his wellbeing." Namjoon tells his husband, who still glares at Jeongguk.

"Just say yes, Jeongguk." Taehyung instructs him. “I think he is going somewhere with this.”

“Yes, I guess we did. Why?"

“Then tell me where his secret tattoo is?"

Oh no. Bad soulmate.

Jeongguk's eyes bug. Taehyung is about to die for real this time, of embarrassment. "Oh god. Jeongguk, listen. Don’t you dare make fun of me for it. I have his tattoo on my ass. It's a little red heart with a face that I meant to get it covered or removed, but just forgot about it. It was during university, we got wasted and Jimin here dared me to do it and I doodled it on a piece of paper, and it is on the upper part of my left ass cheek. No one else knows about it.”

"You mean the heart on his ass?" Jeongguk says chuckling. Taehyung huffs.

Jimin looks a little surprised that he knows. "Fine, maybe you are telling the truth."

“Yeah. He told me his dumb friend dared him to. I guess that must be you. I thought it was cute, just another adorable thing about him, with all his little quirks and sweet boxy smile. I care about him, alright? Please, just tell me what I can do to help him.”

They all get serious. Taehyung already expected this. There’s no good reason for him to still be in a coma, unable to wake up. His brain activity is stable, but the longer he stays this way, more it will diminish. Namjoon steps forward, his hand going for Jeongguk’s shoulder. "I'm afraid there's not much we can do at this point, beyond wait and hope for a miracle. I’m really sorry it has come to this." Jeongguk is shaking a bit, and he nods, acknowledging Namjoon. "We need you to go, sadly. Visiting hours are ending and we need to go back to work, and we can't let you in here alone.”

“That's okay. I'll be back tomorrow, even if it is just to say goodbye. Thank you for letting me see him and for telling me what happened. But I believe he will come back.” He tells them all as the leave the room.

Namjoon agrees and then both him and Sora say their goodbyes, before walking away.

"Jeongguk, can you wait out here for a second?" Taehyung asks when he sees that Jimin went back inside. Jeongguk nods, finding a chair and going for it. He feels so tired, his elbows digging his thighs as he supports his head on his hands. Fuck, that’s not good. He can’t let Taehyung die.

Taehyung waits a few seconds, getting himself ready, before he enters the room, only to see his soulmate lying by his side, body all curled up as he cries against his shoulder. “I can't believe you found someone who talks about you in that way, only for to be taken away. I had been so worried, Tae. Just wanted you to have someone to love you, like I have Joonie.”

“Oh, my baby. I’m here, please. I only needed you. All of you, please. See me! I’m right here, Chim.”

“That day I was waiting for a phone call all day. It was my sister, you know. She had agreed to be a surrogate when we went to visit her in New York a few months prior, and she had been having this nausea for a few days, so I urged her to do the test. I was on the phone with her. She had just told me she was pregnant, and we were so happy, screaming on the phone. I was already wanting to call you. But then I got another call. It was Seokjin, saying there had been an accident. I was so scared. And then so angry and sad. It took me two weeks to tell Namjoon that we were going to be parents. No one else knows. Because I can't celebrate without you. We said we will tell the others when you wake up, so you better do it soon, you jerk, because I'm having a baby and I need you to be the godfather. I can't do this without you. Please, come back to us. Back to him. He is handsome, babe. And love is great. Please."

Jimin is holding his hand, but he can’t feel it. Why can he only see and feel Jeongguk? Jimin is his soulmate, the person that calls him first thing in the morning to remind him to get a nice breakfast and the one who he calls before he goes to bed to talk about his day and to ask what movie he should see next and recommend him this book he just read. "I'm here, Minie. And I will find a way to get back. I can't believe I'm going to have another nephew. I can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone. Please, take care of yourself. You look so tired, babe. I’m right here and I love you.”

He gets closer to Jimin, trying to hug him, but his non-existent body does not even catch his friend’s attention. Devastated, he goes back to the hallway, only to find Jeongguk looking defeated. “Who told you that Santa is not real?”

“How can you joke like that after we saw in there?” Jeongguk asks him. They go to the elevator, luckily alone. “You might have made me question my sanity in order to help, but- today was alright.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, you are not as bad as you look at first.”

“I’m not, huh? You on the other hand was delightful since the first moment I saw you, with your dozens of beer cans and lack of basic hygiene and proper manners.” Taehyung tells him, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I’m glad you think so.”

They get to the car, Jeongguk sending Hoseok a text to see if he is free to stop by the apartment again tonight before he starts driving. Taehyung is a little quiet, still to affected from all of the day’s events, seeing some of his favorite people, getting his memories back. It doesn’t take long for them to get to the apartment from the hospital, Jeongguk parking the car.

Getting home, they both sit on the couch. “Are you okay?”

“I think so, I mean. At least I know now who I am and that I’m still alive.”

“Yes, that is good. Also, I will help you get back to your body, ok? I know our deal was for me to find out who you were, but I’m not letting you do this alone. I swear to you, blondie, you will get back to your life and dye your hair, because your roots are showing.”

Taehyung slaps him jokingly, his hand going through him. “I’m a little busy to think about beauty standards.”

“As if you need to think about that, you are easily the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen.” He says, while getting up and walking towards the kitchen. Taehyung looks at him, confused. That was a crazy day, to go from water to wine like that. He had been wanting Jeongguk to just vanish out of his apartment, but now he wanted him to stay.

He comes back with a beer, to which Taehyung glares at him for. “Relax, blondie. It’s just the one.”

They relax a bit, turning the TV on and searching for a movie to watch. It’s nice, having a normal evening. Jeongguk orders food for himself and Taehyung imagines his favorite food in front of him. They talk a bit, about their childhoods and their time in college. Taehyung tells Jeongguk about growing up with Jin and Namjoon and the little feud between their mothers that didn’t pass on to them. Then about meeting Jimin in high school when he transferred from Busan to Seoul, about how Namjoon had such a huge crush on Jimin for years until Taehyung got fed up with his pining and Jimin’s endlessly whining about men being jerks and set them up. About Jin and his time in the States and his nieces.

Then they both notice that Taehyung’s life basically consists of other people. There’s not much he can say about things he did because he wanted to. Everything in his life is his family and his job.

Jeongguk is a little different. He talks about his family a bit, about how his parents are loving, but they were always busy and how he is also from Busan, but they moved to Seoul when he was still a child. As Taehyung suspected, Jeongguk is super rich. Not that his own family suffers from money problems, but they are far from the elite. Taehyung had worked since he was a teen and always saving up his money. As others would travel or go out, he would study, so he got an okay sum to then make an offer for the apartment. The lady who owned it was really nice and he got a good deal. He hoped the payments were being done.

They were about to talk about his high school days when Jeongguk’s phone ringed. “Oh, it’s Hoseok saying he is downstairs, I’ll buzz him in.”

Taehyung nods, a little disappointed. He wanted to know more about Jeongguk, especially about his relationship. Something felt off, like there was more than grief weighing him down.

“Woah, man. The energy here is much better. You even look more alive.” He hears Hoseok says when Jeongguk opens the door. “Is he here or did you guys find a way to cope?”

“Actually, we found out a couple things about his life. But we met a dead end and we kind of need your help. You see, Taehyung here was in a car accident and he is in a coma. We saw him in the hospital.”

Hoseok nods. “That sounds about right, he doesn’t feel like your regular vengeful or ‘unhappy he’s dead’ spirit. He always felt more present, like it was not his choice he didn’t make the crossing, you know?”

“Sure.” Jeongguk shrugs. It’s not like he dealt with spirits before. To be fair, he didn’t really believe in all of this before it literally appeared in front of his own eyes, in the middle of his living room. “But he can’t connect with his body, so I thought you might know a way we can do it.”

“I don’t know, dude. I would have to do some research or something. But usually there might be a reason he is not waking up. Could be related to earthly science or a more advanced plane. Maybe there are things he needs to discover while stuck in his ghost form. Or maybe his body needs a little more time to be able to receive him back.”

“Alright, we got time.” Taehyung looks at Jeongguk and clear his throat. “Maybe not much, because he is worried that the longer he stays this way, the harder it will be to come back.”

“The timing is what it is, man. How long has he been in a coma?”

“About four months.”

“And how long since he appeared to you the first time?”

“Around a month or so?”

“Right, so he had three months in another plane, which he probably won’t remember much about. Most likely, he was given the choice to go and chose to come back, or they said he should or needed to be back. Every spirit has a mission on this earth, Jeongguk. If he doesn’t get to finish it, he will come back again, in another time, another body. Except your boy was given the chance to come back and then was shown to you. He probably was very distressed after the accident, so the high forces took care of them, got him ready to be back. You need to realize what it is he needs to do or something.”

“Right, yeah. I think we can do that.”

“You do that, and I’ll be researching or trying to contact helping forces. I’ll contact you when I’m ready to talk and give you some information. I’ll see myself out.” He says, before walking to the door.

“That is some weird dude.” Taehyung says, watching him leave. “Nice, but weird.”

“You are a ghost, Taehyung. I’m talking to you. We are far from normal ourselves.”

Their night kind of moved on from there. It was already late by the time they finished their movie, the mood for talking probably over. After that, they awkwardly stared at each other, not sure of what to do.

“You can sleep on the bed; I’ll take the couch.” Jeongguk tells him.

“Don’t be an idiot, I don’t know if I can sleep, and I don’t have a body to hurt. The couch is nice, but not for sleep. You need to get some rest. You sleep on the bed; I will take the couch.”

“How about we both take the bed. Or maybe you will go to your limbo place or whatever. You remember sleeping? What did you do when I was sleeping, besides those times where you bugged me all night long, not letting me rest?”

“I have no idea, to be honest. I guess we’ll find out.”

Turns out, Taehyung can’t sleep. Which is unfortunate. Not that he feels tired, but he kind of pretends he can for a while, so Jeongguk will fall sleep and stop worrying about him, but soon he is wide awake, and he is bored as fuck. He always was very energetic and needed to be doing stuff. But right now, he can’t really touch things or do much, so he starts going around the place. He should have stayed on the couch, maybe watching movies. He goes to the office and sees his medical books. They were dumb not digging more through the house. Since Jeongguk’s lease was month-to-month, most of his things had stayed.

Walking around for a bit and reminiscing distracted him enough, but still it was about four in the morning, and he was super bored. Why doesn’t he have a few cool powers like flying around or maybe moving shit with his mind or whatever else ghosts can do in the movies. Maybe if he could do that, he could go to the park and scare some people or something.

Going back to the room, he sees Jeongguk sleeping like a lot. He is funny, the sheets all messy and his hair sticking to all sides, mouth open. He is snoring a little bit, but it’s a cute snore. His shirt is riding up and his abs are showing. Taehyung is embarrassed now. Not that is anything new for him, he had seen Jeongguk showering quite a few times when they were in the annoying each other phase. He had even seen him completely naked, which made his blush.

God, he was attractive. And now he had a nice personality too. It was ridiculous for him to start developing these feelings for him now. Especially when he was quite literally between life and death. Still, something inside him was glad for this crazy experience. He wouldn’t have met Jeongguk otherwise. And now he is quite glad he did.

“Stop that, Taehyung. He is only helping out because he wants to be left alone. You are just the annoying ghost who is stuck to him. Sure, you are somewhat friendly now, but- who would want someone like you, who barely lived in his life?”

He lies down in the bed, looking up. Would he have done something different if he knew he would be gone this soon? Probably not, especially when he thinks about all the lives he saved. Still, maybe he would have stopped with the excesses. To go off a shift and go early for another as soon as his body could take it. No time for a date or just a walk in the park, a movie with a friend, or even more time with his nieces.

He probably would have gotten the dog. Maybe he could have left it in a doggy day care or something. Having this little puppy to cuddle and love when he got home.

He would have done the garden in the roof, go there for a me time. Just to paint or maybe listen to some music, feel the wind blowing, watching the sunset or the sunrise. He loved flowers, he loved colors.

He would have wanted to find love, as much as he told himself he didn’t need a man. Sure, he doesn’t, but maybe have someone to share his day, to hold him when he lost a patient, or to make a surprise romantic dinner. Maybe those walks in the park wouldn’t be him just by himself, but with a lover, holding hands. He would introduce him for his family, and he would put his nieces in his shoulders and they would giggle and love him, trying to style his long hair.

Long hair?

No. He shouldn’t start mixing things. Jeongguk was helping him because they were stuck in this together. But once he was back, Jeongguk would move on with his life and he would to the same. Maybe they would be casual friends, just one day get together to laugh about their crazy story. But what reason he had to maintain Jeongguk as a big part of his life? They barely know each other.

Sure, they had spent the last few weeks glued together, at first as enemies, and now as partners in a common goal. Maybe their total time of knowing each other wasn’t long, but they spent this period just the two of them almost twenty-four-seven. It was almost the same as a friend he would see once a week during lunch for a few years. They would know each other longer, but how much would they be able to share in only fifty-two hours a year?

He sighs, laying on his side, watching as Jeongguk slept. Was he a creep? It was crazy, how different he looked while sleeping. So peaceful, so young. When he is awake is like he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Taehyung wants to help him too, wants to help him find happiness and will to start living again.

He had no idea he was already doing it.

First thing in the morning, after Jeongguk ate something (more out of Taehyung’s insistence, because the guy barely cared about himself), they were on their way back to the hospital. This time, Jeongguk didn’t stop to talk to people. He went straight for the elevator.

There isn’t anyone familiar to him in the nurses’ station. But Taehyung tells him their names and if he likes them. They are going to his room when this doctor stops him.

“Are you visiting Doctor Kim?”

Ugh, Taehyung knows that voice. “It’s Mina, she was the other fellow here. We were competing for the attending slot. I guess with me out of the way, you got the job, huh.”

“Yes, I came yesterday also.”

“Never seen you around, I think I would have remembered.” She says, smiling. “I’m Mina, I was Taehyung’s colleague. Awful thing that happened to him, we here in this hospital always cherished Dr. Kim.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Please, you were always trying to undermine me in front of Dr. Choi. Now you are flirting with my visitors.”

“I’m Jeongguk, I’m Dr. Kim’s boyfriend.” Jeongguk says, a wicked smile brightening his face. “I’m glad you liked him, he sure has a great talent with making people love him, with those bright eyes and pretty smile.”

Mina looks shocked. “I didn’t know Dr. Kim had a boyfriend.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t.”

“It must be hard, having a boyfriend in this condition.”

“Sure is, but he is worth waiting for. I would wait a long time for him, but I think he might be waking up soon. I’ve been feeling his presence so close to me lately. You know, Tete. He won’t give up without a fight. Soon he will be back right here, where he belongs, with me, with his family... His patients.”

She must school her features very closely, but still her eyes harden. “Yeah, we hope so. Still, it’s a delicate situation, being unconscious for so long, only being kept alive by machines. I would hate to go through it.”

“It was an immense pleasure meeting you, doctor. But I’m afraid I have a sweet blond waiting for me.”

“Are you going in?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I think I’m going to explore for a bit?” He says, getting a nod from Jeongguk. As he entered the room, Taehyung went after Mina. She walked until the end of the hallway, entering a small room. Oh, the office. How nice. She was on the phone with someone. “Guess you got what you wanted.”

“Yes, absolutely. I’m so happy.” She says to the phone, sitting on her chair.

“Do you even feel sorry on how you got it? Or that I’m in a coma?”

“Not at all.”

“Figures.”

“Speaking of, I just saw him getting a visitor, you know. A boyfriend, super-hot, way out of his league, nice muscles, you know? Guy gave me a hard time too, maybe Saint Kim kept crying to him about Evil Mina. As if I ever did something to him, I just went after what I wanted, you know?”

“Unbelievable. Why did you hate me that much?”

“Yeah, the guy is sure he is coming back anytime soon, when he’s been pretty much brain dead since the accident. Yeah, the chief and his little boyfriend or even Dr. Kang and that peds friend of his refuse to accept it. But yeah, Dr. Choi just got in contact with me today, the old man chose me to tell them. I’m waiting for the brother.”

“What? Jin? What is there to tell? Medically there’s no change, is there?”

“The brother comes everyday with two annoying brats who keep filling the room with these weird drawings. I think he comes a little before lunch. Yeah, yeah... Sure, it’s tragic, but it’s not my fault. Yeah, he wanted it like that. I would too, probably. I’m just reinforcing his wishes. Are you in for the afternoon? Alright, see you then. Bye.” She ends the call and searches for something in her phone. Taehyung gets closer. Instagram.

“Are you serious? There are people in need in the ER, patients waiting for a consult, for their exams. Do you think that now that you don’t have me to compete with, that you should put less effort?”

Obviously, Mina couldn’t hear him. Whatever.

He left her there, only for him to end up in the on-call room. Seyeon was there, half asleep with a cup of coffee on her hand. He missed her.

The door opens and Jimin enters. “I sure hope this is decaf or your first and only of the day, little miss.”

“Oh, great. The coffee police are here. You know, how dumb am I to accidentally get pregnant? I’m a doctor, I’m way better than this. Sure, Wooshik is happier as he can be, but no way I would think that would happen this soon. How lame it is that I totally forgot I was on antibiotics that time?”

“Are you really that sad about it?”

“Only when I remember I can’t drink lots of coffee or me feet hurt or I’m puking my guts off or when I get home and can’t drink my usual double scotch to go to bed. But I guess the little one will be okay.”

Seyeon was pregnant, God, how hadn’t he notice? She is huge, she must have been already pregnant before he had his accident. He vaguely remembers she got sick for a bit a while ago. “You had your ultrasound yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yes, and guess what, do you know how I had decided I didn’t want to know the sex? Well, apparently, I remember too much of my obstetric rotations, because one look at that screen and I knew right then that it was a boy.”

Jimin laughs. “Oh, Seyeon, that’s great.”

“I yelled ‘oh, no!’ in the room and Wooshik thought something was wrong and so did the technician doing it and it was a whole mess. He is ecstatic, he is already planning in taking a huge leave to stay with me and then, I guess, I’ll be making use of the hospital daycare they are setting up.”

“Yeah, that makes two of us.” Jimin says, without thinking.

“What? Oh, my god, are you pregnant?” She yells.

“Shush, Seyeon. First off, fuck you. But yes, I am. Or well, my sister is. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, because- it doesn’t feel right yet, I’m too worried about Tae. But if he waits too much to wake up, she’s already 19 weeks pregnant. Soon, someone ought to find out.”

“You know, we were talking names last night and Wooshik suggested Taehyung and I started crying so bad, and still, my baby would be lucky to have the same name is his uncle Tae; because I’m sure he will be here to sing sweet lullabies to both our babies with that delicious voice of his.”

“Yes, I will. I’m making sure of it, guys. Oh, my god, I need to buy so many gifts when I wake up.” He says, getting closer to his friend, looking at her huge belly. She must be around six or seven months. Of course, Seyeon would be the one to take three months to realize she is pregnant. He rests his hand near her belly. “Hi, baby boy, I will be one of your uncles.”

Seyeon yelps. “Oh, that little devil is moving. It’s so weird feeling it.” She says.

“Maybe he likes the name.”

“Maybe.”

Ugh, Taehyung can’t take this. He misses them too much. Moving on, he gets off the on-call room only to end up in a supply closet, only to see his intern, Jen, making out with a nurse. “Great, I’m discovering a lot of secrets today. That’s why you were always missing, Jen. Seriously.”

He is about to walk around more when he feels his hand tingling. Oh, is Jeongguk holding his hand or something? Curious, Taehyung makes his way back to his room, finding Jeongguk sitting on a chair, Taehyung’s hand between both of his.

Oh.

“Please, come back.” He whispers and something inside Taehyung, and he doesn’t know if is in his body or soul, turns frozen. He- he wants to come back. He can feel that he is about to cry. Maybe it’s the proximity to his body, but he also can feel his heart racing. It shows on the monitors, a subtle increase. “Oh, my God, what happened?”

It’s just you, apparently. Taehyung thinks. Just Jeongguk’s presence and his touch. It makes him go back to his body. The door opens and Jimin rushes inside. “What happened?”

“Uh, nothing really, but I was- I was holding his hand and I asked him to come back and the monitor started doing this and now he is crying.” Jeongguk points.

“What?” Jimin asks, running beside Taehyung, seeing that there are indeed tears in his closed eyes, wetting his eyelashes. “Oh, that’s- new. But it can be just reflexes, I’m afraid.”

Jeongguk looks a little shocked, hands up on his head, running through his long hair. “Alright, as long as it’s not something bad, I can’t-” He turns to all sides, as if looking for something and then he sees Taehyung and starts breathing again. “There you are.”

“Who?” Jimin asks him, confused.

“Uh? Ah, nothing. I’m just- going crazy with this situation a little, don’t mind me.”

“That’s alright, we all been there and still do crazy things and we had four months to digest everything. It’s crazy. You know, if you want, you can text my personal cell and whatever change I will call to warn you.” Jimin says, handing him a card with a number written on it. “I was kind of mean to you, yesterday. After, I talked to Namjoon, and I should have been more receptive. You are hurting too. You might have known him just for a while, but you also liked him in a different way than I.”

“Yes, thank you.” He pockets the card. “I will text you so you can save my number and I would appreciate these updates. I think I should get going, right?”

“Well, I mean, you can stay during visiting hours, but soon his brother and nieces will come, and I don’t think I should mention your situation just yet. Seokjin already has a lot on his plate right now.”

“I understand, maybe I will be back tomorrow.”

Jeongguk and Taehyung leave the room. “Do you want me to stay for the visit? I can stay in the lobby waiting for you and then-”

“I think I want to try staying for a while. I just- I felt awful yesterday, away from my body, unable to see if there are changes or something. I’m unable to sleep anyway. I want to see if I can stay near myself and away from you.

“Oh. So, you won’t be back? It is your apartment.”

“Now you say that, huh.”

“Things change, Taehyung, I don’t know if you noticed. I care about you. And you must care about me too, if the crying was a sign of anything.” He jokes, but his eyes are pleading.

“I do, of course. I just can’t leave myself and maybe there will be clues here, on how I can come back. This is not goodbye forever, Jeongguk.”

“Alright, blondie. I’m going.” He tells the spirit, before walking to the elevator, but not without looking back twice and seeing Taehyung going back to his room.

Still, he waited until one in the afternoon at the lobby to be sure Taehyung wouldn’t miss his brother and nieces’ visit.

Taehyung is hanging out around the nurses’ station and the on-call room, Sora arrived for her shift and Seyeon often takes breaks with how pregnant she is. Still, nothing is better than when the elevator opens, and two little girls start running towards his room like the wind. Jin is following them, already angry ranting with them about how in hospitals they should be quiet. Jimin tells the others he is taking a break and soon both him and Taehyung are inside the room.

“Took you long enough today, it’s almost time for lunch and then take them to school.”

“They already had lunch, luckily. You know how it’s been hard, them getting used to the new place and me being alone and all. And of course, on top of everything, we are all missing uncle bear. They’ve been going to my bed every night, I really shouldn’t let them, because it will be such a hard habit to break, but I just need to hold them, you know.” Jin says and Taehyung is mildly confused. Alone? New place? Did they move? Did Jake go to the US on business?

“That jackass.”

“Jimin!”

“C’mon, I’m allowed to do it now. After what he did? You are going to one of the hardest things you ever did in your life right now and he decides to put divorce on top of it? I should have punched him on the face.” Jimin whispers, the children showing Taehyung the drawing they did of him.

Divorce? Oh, no.

“You did knee him in the nuts though.”

“As I should have. He tried guilt-tripping you on going back to the States, leaving your new restaurant, your family and your hospitalized brother behind and after you said no, he up and left you and the kids and put your house on sale? Asshole.” What the fuck? Taehyung would kill Jake. Maybe he could convince Jeongguk to go with him to the States and he could control Jake in front of a cab or something.

“Yeah, but that’s okay, because we were legally married in America, so I’m already talking to my lawyers to sue his ass out of a lot of money. At least for the kids, and as for the house, I don’t know. I kind of want a new beginning, maybe something closer to the restaurant and the girls’ school. Also, more homey and less pretentious.

“You do you.”

“Why am I feeling nauseous?” Taehyung asks himself, only for his to hear his brother screaming.

“Children, stop that.” They both were manipulating the bed that had Taehyung almost bend in half. “Oh, god, Nari, turn that on, please. What did I say about not touching anything? Did you guys hear me?”

Jimin is laughing a bit. “You shouldn’t laugh, Chim. This will be you soon.” Taehyung tells him, even though Jimin won’t hear it. “I’m sure your child will be twice as trouble as Jin’s.”

“You two, either talk to you uncle like good girls or I’m going to unleash you to the care of the scary lady again.”

“We behave, daddy.”

“We love uncle bear.”

Taehyung scoffs. You dress in a fluffy brown coat with little ears as a kid once and suddenly you are baby bear forever.

“You better, because Aunt Scary Lady is right around the corner.” He tells them and they nod, both climbing their chairs to sit beside him and holding his hand.

“Why is it that I can feel him from another room and not you? My own blood.”

Jimin is chuckling. “Poor Seyeon, she is so hormonal and desperate with this pregnancy that she scared your kids that time.”

“I have to thank her, because another tour of the hospital with Aunt Scary Lady has kept them well-behaved during the latest visits. Did I tell you that once I went out to take a call for a second and I came back to them shoving candy up Taehyung’s nose? I almost had a heart attack.”

Jimin choked, before laughing. “Oh, man. I love kids. Also, that sounds like a thing Taehyung himself would do to make them laugh. I miss him so much, hyung.”

“Yeah, me too. And it’s not like I have a lot of time to miss him. Mom and dad arrived yesterday. They’ve been coming once a month, but it’s so hard on mom, with the chemo and everything.”

Chemo?

“I’ll bet, how is she doing?”

“Great, they caught it early, thank God, she is responding well, the chances of her getting into full remission are high. But her hair started falling, you know how it is. And she was always so proud of her hair and her beauty, it’s hard for her. Dad bought her a lot of accessories and a wig, but- she said she doesn’t want to come see Tae like that. I told her: mom, Tae can’t see you, but he can hear you.”

“Things are so rough right now.”

“Yes, it’s like, I don’t know, Taehyung was always such a glue to our family, you know. And now It's almost trying to fall apart. You had to see when we told our grandparents about the accident. Namjoon went along with us, you remember? And then the cancer. The good thing is that auntie and mom are getting along. She goes with her to the hospital when dad can’t. She was there too when she heard about Tae. Even asleep our little baby is bringing everyone together.”

“He always had that super-power. It’s so unfair. He should be here with us, to support your mother and implementing all the amazing ideas he had for the hospital and enjoying his nieces and- other things that are happening. Finally living his life now that he had achieved his goal.”

“Exactly, but I’m afraid-”

“Hyung, no.”

“Jimin-ah, I’m sorry, but after four months, his neurologist and all the other doctors said that nothing is apparently wrong with him, he should be waking up, but if he isn’t, maybe-”

“You shouldn’t be thinking like that, Seokjin. That won’t happen, I won’t let it. I’m his soulmate and I’m not ready to walk this earth half-empty. I can feel that he is here with us, hyung. I’m not going to give up.”

“I am here, babe.” Taehyung is almost yelling. “Please, hear me, feel me, see me. I need your help, please.”

“I know, sweets. I just don’t want you to stop your life and set yourself up for more hurt.” His brother tells his best friend, hugging him.

“I won’t, hyung. Don't worry. Now, I'm going to take these munchkins away from a bit so you can have a one-on-one time with your little brother, try to knock some sense on that stubborn head so he can wake up already, because I’m getting a little impatient.” Jimin warns. “Hey, bugs! Who wants to go with Chim to see the babies?”

Both girls squeak. “Yes, Chim!”

“Then you can come back and tell uncle Tae and daddy all about it, huh?”

He offers each hand to one of them and the three of them start walking together, the girls giggling as Jimin tells them about the cute babies they are gonna see. Seokjin smiles, before closing the door and going to the chair next to his brother’s bed. “What am I going to do with you? Haven’t you got enough rest? I know I always nagged you about your crazy working hours, but you’ve gone too far.”

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Do you know how awful it was for me to hang up that phone, waiting for my little brother to appear at my house and hopefully meet the love of his life, only for me to receive a phone call twenty minutes later about how there had been an accident and my name was listed as next-of-kin. First, I thought of the kids, but it made no sense, you know. They were with mom and dad. Couldn't be them either, and Jake, the bastard, was right beside me. Who else? And then I froze, because you hadn’t arrived. I was yelling and Jake was driving, because I was shaking. You were still stuck inside the car when I got there. It was raining and I left the house alone, I thought the poor guy. Later, my friend told me he didn’t make it in a message I never answered, actually.”

“Oh, hyung.”

“I called Jimin and then mom and dad and instructed to wait at the hospital. They wanted to take you to another one, but I said you were going to your hospital, it’s the best and people love you there. Your boss operated on you, you know, Dr. Choi, and then a follow-up neurosurgery. I mean, Namjoon and even Sora were dying up there, watching the surgery. Jimin stayed with me, but he would come and go. You died once, you know, they had to bring you back. And then I thought that the worse was over. But you didn’t wake up when they took you off sedatives and then days turned into weeks and months. Mom had been hiding that she had cancer and I got left by my husband. Also, Jimin went into a serious breakdown, he probably didn’t tell you, if you really can hear us that is.”

“No, he didn’t. He is going to be a dad, Jin. If I don’t come back, you need to help him.”

“I’m sorry if I’m not my usual optimistic self, but you always fed me so much of this unnecessary medical knowledge and I can’t forget it. It’s bad, isn’t it? That you are not waking up?”

“Yes.”

“But it’s okay, because if anyone in this family or anyone in this life deserves a miracle, it’s you. I believe you are going to go viral as the hot doctor who went on a coma for a long time but woke up and went back to saving lives. Promise me.”

“I do.”

“That’s what you want, right? The thing you are fighting to stay alive for?”

“Yes! Jin! I’m fighting so much, look, I’ve tried to get it to stick, but it’s like an empty shell and all slippery. Hyung, I met this guy and I hated him at first. But I think I like him now, I mean. He is special. But he is too damaged, and he probably just pities me. But he gives me even more will to live, you know? Do I sound stupid, gushing over a guy I just met?”

“I love you, baby bear.” There are tears in his eyes and Taehyung is pretty sure he is crying too. He wants to hold him and be held.

“I love you too, hyung.”

That’s when someone knocks on the door. “Come in.”

“Hello, Kim Seokjin, you’re Dr. Kim’s brother, right?” It’s Mina, and she has some papers in her hand.

Jin looks at her, frowning. “Yes, I don’t recognize you, you’re not on my brother’s case, are you?”

“Not directly, but I knew him, we worked on the same department. I’m Dr. Lee.”

“Alright, and why are you looking for me?”

“I’ve been asked by Dr. Choi to talk to you. The man is at a medical conference and there’s some updates regarding Dr. Kim’s medical wishes, if he would encounter himself in a position such as this one.” She tells his brother and Taehyung doesn’t like where this is going. “I’ve been told you are his medical proxy.”

“I am.”

“Alright. First, I just wanted to say we all loved and miss Taehyung here. He was a valuable asset for this hospital and an amazing doctor.” She says and Taehyung rolls his eyes. As if she hasn’t been enjoying her attending position gained by his misfortune. “And as a member of our staff, we’ve taken a lot of extraordinary measures to make him feel as comfortable as possible in this situation.”

“And I appreciate all of this, but what that has to do with me?”

“It’s not an easy thing to say, you see... when you come work on this hospital, you fill a lot of forms regarding your safety and all of that, for insurance purposes or just precaution. A hospital can be a dangerous place as well. Things like release forms and types of treatment you agree to and things you wouldn’t authorize in determined situations. It’s common, some patients can sign DNRs, for instance, which means that if something happens and their heart stops, they do not want to be resuscitated.”

Oh, God, he doesn’t like where this is going.

“But his heart is fine...”

“I know, it’s just an example, so you understand better. For instance, Dr. Kim is an organ donor. Which is a noble choice. But do you know about his opinion on artificially prolonging life?”

“Uh, no.” Taehyung whispers to himself (not that anybody would hear him otherwise).

“Well, he was against it. Most of us are in this profession. We see a lot of patients who are kept on life-support by their families, in hopes that they will come back, and usually that doesn’t happen or it if does, it’s in a way they wouldn’t want to live. So, in his form, Dr. Kim said he didn’t want to be kept on life-support.”

“I don’t understand though, he has brain activity, right? His neurologist said his brain activity is normal, and he should be waking up. They told us that.”

“Yes, I do have it, and I’m also here and I’m communicating with someone, Jin. Please, you must hear me, I’m your brother. I changed my mind, because in this case, I’m here. My mind is here, and my body is fine, there’s something else keeping me from waking but I AM HERE!”

“Yes, that’s what we thought, but his coma has been persisting. Four months is a long time, soon, problems will show up.”

“But- but people have woken up from comas like this before, right? From longer ones?”

“Yes!” Taehyung yells. “If not, why am I here? How? Why can Jeongguk see me?”

“Not in these circumstances. The tests we’ve been doing, there’s nothing keeping him this way, but he is not waking up. The chances decrease by day and the more he stays this way, more complications will surge. As far as we can tell, he has no damages to the cortex or the brain stem, he should be gradually waking up. But his brain activity has been stagnant with maybe a slow decrease, no signs of awareness. He can wake up, but so far, the signs don’t point to that. Other options are that he can evolve to a vegetative state or even die.”

“I see.”

“Dr. Kim said, by signing this, that he wouldn’t like to be kept in a vegetative state or in life-support should his comatose state surpass the period of five weeks. It’s been sixteen. As Taehyung did sign the release, his decision is known, but because of these special circumstances, we won’t proceed to take terminal action without your explicit approval.”

Jin sighs, hand going through his head. “Alright, I need to- go. I need some water or maybe vodka.” He tells Mina, going out of the room, but she follows.

“I have prepared the paperwork, regarding this decision. So, if you decide to sign.”

“Don’t sign it, hyung. I’m right here and I don’t want to go, please. I’ll do everything you want. I’ll babysit the kids every other weekend, and I’ll let you teach me how to cook as you always wanted. I will take more care of myself and go on dates. I’ll even go fishing with you. Please, don’t sign.”

“I’ll think about it.” He says, dismissively, looking in the halls for any sign of Jimin with the kids, his eyes glued to his watch. He stops at the nurses’ station. “Hi, could you please tell me where I could get some water, please.”

“Sometimes it’s just easier to not prolong the inevitable and increase their suffering. It's God’s-”

“I said I’ll think about it.” He repeats, his voice dripping with annoyance. “Could you please leave me alone, I’m not signing away my brother’s life in a fucking hospital hallway. Don’t wait, you will get tired. Just get lost.”

Mina looks a little surprised, but she just nods and goes.

“Oh, thank you, hyung. You always were my biggest protector.”

“Fucking condescending bitch.” He murmurs.

“Seokjin-hyung?” They hear a voice, turning, only to see Namjoon there. “Oh, visiting Tae? Where are the kids?”

“Jimin took them to see babies. It’s the second time he does that in the last week.” He tells their cousin, who smiles a little, too fond of his husband. Taehyung chuckles, because he knows what he is thinking. Jimin is not totally drowning in sadness anymore.

“Oh, great.”

“Do you know a Dr. Lee?”

“Uh, yes, why?”

“She came to talk to me when I was there with Taehyung and I didn’t like the things she was saying, so I need another opinion. Am I crazy to believe that Taehyung will wake up?”

“No, not at all. What did she say?”

“Just that it’s unknown for patients in this situation to wake-up and that Taehyung wasn’t exactly a big fan of life-support. What do you think about it?”

“I don’t know. I mean, she is not wrong, but medicine is not about certainties. I’ve seen patients with a 5% survival rate go into surgery and thrive, having an amazing recovery. I’ve seen those going for a simple and safe procedure and not make if off the table. I think everyone has their time, but Taehyung survived a serious crash and complicated surgeries. He is not brain-dead. Yes, a persistent coma is not a good thing, but it’s not a death sentence.”

God, he loves his cousin.

“If it were you in there, what would you do?”

“I don’t know, I probably would have gotten taken off life-support already, but Jimin also might not have let them do it.” He chuckles, scratching his head. “I used to be very skeptic, that if medicine fails to do what it does usually, it’s not meant to be. Very radical too, in any circumstance I was to have a chance to end up in a vegetative state or something similar, I was to be out of life-support before I had to spend my life like that. My life was surgery. I had a rigorous no life-support release and DNR even. And then I met Jimin, and he made me see that there was more worth fighting for, so those few seconds, where they are pumping you with adrenaline or doing chest compressions, or the few days some machines keep you alive, sometimes they were the time you need to get back to what you love. Tae has a lot to love and a lot to come back to.”

Taehyung smiles, wanting more than ever to jump on his cousin. “Yes, Jin. I’m fighting.”

“Thank you, Joonie.”

“It was nothing, hyung. We are taking care of him. It will work out. I’m sure there’s plenty of things happening now that he wouldn’t want to miss.”

“You are always so cryptic.”

“Kids! Looks, it’s cousin Joonie. Go jump on him.” They hear Jimin’s voice.

“What? No, Jimin, what are you-” Namjoon says, scared, before he is taken down by two cannon-ball-like little girls that are giggling as he tries to balance himself with two armfuls of little Kims.

Taehyung beams, because he loves his family.

Jeongguk is miserable. It’s been three days and he sometimes think that he might have been dreaming about all that Taehyung stuff. But no, it’s real, he knows because there’s both the card and the text from Jimin saying he’s the same, and the picture he stole from the hospital. Also, now, there are the dozens of drawings of Taehyung’s face that he tried to do from memory. His puppy-dog eyes, his little boxy smile, his pout, all the adorable little faces he made, especially the angry ones from the beginning.

It’s around the tenth drawing that he decides he is a loser. He misses him and he is one step away from going to the hospital. He has been eating take out and watching TV, drinking beer, like always, but this time it feels like it’s for a different reason.

He misses the hell out of little controlling blondie. His annoying but cute ghost that, at first, he thought was sent from hell to haunt him.

The sun is setting, and he feels nauseous for some reason. He is watching some documentary about ships or something. He's not paying attention. His sketchbook is resting on his thighs, the pencil now on the floor and Taehyung is staring at him from the paper. Haunting him even far away.

He had thought that maybe he would never see Taehyung again, but he wishes he was wrong about it. Still, no sign of him and he feels weak.

His phone goes off, probably a text from Yoongi calling him for a night-out. “Not in the mood, hyung, sorry. I’m wallowing.”

It goes again, and then again, and he frowns. Yoongi rarely double texts, but a triple text is almost unheard off. Weird.

He gathers his forces enough to move and pick up his phone. His eyes bug when he sees it those were all from Jimin, which he had saved as Blondie’s sassy smol friend.

Something weird is happening.

His vitals are getting weak.

I don’t know why I texted you.

He gets up lightning fast. What? That can’t be, all they had done and gone through for it to end like this? It made no sense. He grabs his coat and is about to run out the door when the doorbell rings.

Who the fuck?

Opening the door, he sees the neighbor from a few days back, the one that had called Taehyung anti-social and basically a cat-lady. He didn’t remember her name and clearly, he had no time for her now. What could she possibly want? It’s not like he needs info now, since Taehyung remembers everything.

“Hi.” He says awkwardly. She is wearing a nice white dress that is actually very tight on the nice curves of her body. She is wearing her long black hair down and full make-up, dark red lipstick and sunglasses. Jeongguk is has a white t-shirt on that is too big for him and grey sweats. He feels hugely underdressed, and he just realized that he was actually about to go to the hospital like that. His hair is greasy. “I’m sorry, I don’t really remember your name.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’m Nayoung, your neighbor.” She says, putting her sunglasses on the top of her head and taking the hair off her face.

“Yes, that I know, we talked the other day.”

“Did you find the lonely dude from before?” She asks him. He notices that she has a few shopping bags and a tray with two drinks on it.

“Uh, yes. He is actually a doctor in a near-by hospital, and I left his mail there.” He doesn’t want to go into all the story of how he is actually in a fucking coma. Uh, do you want anything? I was actually planning to leave in a while...”

“Oh, yes, Jeongguk-ssi. I was out with some friends, you know. And I even bought some ice-cream, and I was downstairs when I realized I left my keys. I called a locksmith, but he said it will take an hour. My ice-cream will melt, and I really didn’t want to wait on the hall. I’m not really closer with our older neighbors, so I thought you could host me.”

Fuck. He needs to go see Taehyung, and he really needs a shower, to get off his miserable drunken state. Still, he feels kind of bad for her. “Sure. I’ll need to leave soon, but I guess you can stay here in the living room while I get ready and stuff? And maybe later I can take your ice-cream to you when I come back.”

She giggles, thanking him and he lets her in, helping her with all the bags. “I bought a drink for you downstairs, because I thought maybe I would need to bribe you, you know?”

“Oh.” He looks at the iced tea in her hand. “That’s-”

“A Long Island iced tea, they are delicious, really puts you on a good mood.” She tells him. He thanks her, accepting the drink, because he doesn’t want to be rude and almost coughs when the strong taste of alcohol touches his tongue. “It’s strong.”

“Thought you would like it a little bit on the strong side.”

He sure does and maybe that’s what he needs to take his edge off. He takes her out of the kitchen, guiding her to the living room. “You could wait here. Uh, does the guy know to ring my place?”

“Huh?”

“The locksmith.” He clarifies for her. “If he doesn’t arrive before I leave, maybe you should then wait downstairs. You can stay here and maybe watch TV, if you want. There’s Netflix in there too.”

“That’s alright.”

“Great, I’ll be right back.” He says, showing her the drink. “Thank you again for the drink.”

Inside his bedroom, he closes the door and throws his shirt on the floor, going into the bathroom while he steps off his pants. He kicks the bathroom door closed and well, he wasn’t wearing any underwear, he just might have looked a disaster if he had gotten to the hospital. He takes off his hair tie and throws it on the sink and gets inside the shower. The water pressure in this apartment is perfect and he sure is going to miss it. He doesn’t do it with much finesse, just getting under the spray and letting the hot water to its job. His muscles are a little sore for too much couch time.

He starts singing some popish song it had been in his head lately, but mindful of not being too loud to embarrass himself when he remembers about the neighbor girl there. He is massaging the shampoo into his (honestly, too long) hair when he hears a voice.

“That’s not how this song goes, but you do have a lovely voice.”

Jeongguk jumps, hitting his head on the shower head and almost slipping, prompting himself against the wall with force and hissing with the pain. “What the fuck.”

“I’m sorry.” Taehyung says. He is inside the shower stall with him, and he doesn’t look too good. It takes Jeongguk a few seconds to react.

“Oh, my God, Taehyung. I- I thought you were gone forever.”

He smiles weakly. “Turns out, I can’t really stay a long time away from you, for some reason. First day, after the visit I was okay, but then last night I started glitching a little, so I came while you were sleeping. Then I went back, thinking I would be fine, but today my heartbeat started lowering and i felt like I was disappearing, so I just thought about you, and I was here.”

“I was so fucking scared.” He says, moving to hug Taehyung, before he remembers that he 1) is trying to hug a ghost that has no corporeal form and 2) is completely naked. They both seemed to notice the latter at the same time, looking down and then up in a matter of seconds. Taehyung would probably be blushing, just like Jeongguk is, if he had a body, but he does turn around. “I’m sorry.”

“That- is okay. I did invade your showers before, you know.”

“But I covered myself that time and then started showering in underwear to the next days.” He tells the ghost, rinsing the shampoo of his hair and, oh God, does he continue showering? Is Taehyung going to stay here? Looking at the wall? He grabs the conditioner, massaging it in his hair, and later picks up his shower gel.

“Is it weird that I kind know how you smell like? I mean, I’m guessing. If you used the same one you did when you went to the hospital. Citrussy, I like it.” Then he pauses. “Is this too weird?”

“We surpassed weird a long time ago.” He shrugs, pretty much done with his shower. He fishes for the towel from the holder and puts it around his waist, leaving the stall dripping wet. “You can look.” He tells Taehyung, while he wipes the fog from the mirror.

“Dear God, Jeongguk! You are all wet, don’t you dry a little before stepping out of the shower, you are getting water all over the floor, specially from your hair.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, squeezing the excess water from his hair into the sink. “Don’t need to have a breakdown over it. I’ll dry it later, or you know, water evaporates, it’s all good.”

“You are a menace.” Taehyung says. Jeongguk giggles, taking a sip from his delicious tea and looking at his phone. Jimin sent him a few texts saying he didn’t need to come; it was a false alarm. Apparently, Taehyung can’t leave him now. Maybe the universe was being fair with him now. Was he being selfish? Perhaps. But looking at Taehyung, trying to scold him, but with a fond look on his eyes, he doesn’t quite care.

“I missed you a lot.” The words end up escaping his lips.

“I did too. It’s been a crazy couple of days for sure. And I wanted to come back and talk to you a dozen times, but I also- I don’t know, I was afraid I was going to miss something that would help me get back. Turns out, I’m supposed to be here with you.”

“Yeah.” He says automatically, because that’s right. Taehyung’s place is with him, and they need to do it together. “Please, stay.”

There's a knock on the door. “Jeongguk-ssi? Are you alright? You are taking an awfully long time in there and I heard a loud noise a while back? Are you hurt?” They hear Nayoung.

“Oh, wow. You move fast.” Taehyung tells him, frown on his face, arms crossed.

“What? No.”

“No, it’s okay, I get it. She’s a young, pretty girl that flirted to you and she is available, and have I said pretty? Of course, you realized you are ready to move on, right? Life is too short, soon you could be in my position, the poor lonely doctor who is losing his life.”

“Nah, you don’t get it. She came here because she was locked out of her apartment. She gave me an iced tea as a thank you and I told her to stay in the living room, because I need to shower to go check on you.”

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure she’s in your bedroom.”

“There’s no way.” He tells Taehyung, and the blond just scoffs and walks towards the door, head going through it.

“Yep, oh, she looks pretty. Our bedroom door is open, and she is actually sitting on your bed, and I suppose that she was clothed when you ‘let her in’.” Taehyung tells him, doing quotes with his hands.

“Yes, a white dress.”

“I see no white dress, just this lingerie set. You know, good for her, to go after what she wants. I should go back to the hospital, give you guys some privacy, put a sock on the door, I’ll come back after, because the universe makes me weak and nauseous away from you, but I’m not really a voyeur.”

Jeongguk is about to try and explain again, when it hits him. “Are you jealous?”

Taehyung gasps. “What? Of course, not. Why would I be jealous?”

“Jeongguk-ssi? Are you on the phone, I’m hearing talking?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry, I’ll be right out.”

“You should go out, right now. She will love your delicious towel outfit. I’m going back and-”

“Can you stop?” He wants to yell at him, but he doesn’t want the neighbors thinking he is crazy or something. “I don’t want you to go, I’ve been missing you like crazy these last few days, pathetically living on the couch and drawing your face, you can go look. I thought I was never going to see you again, as it was so easy for you to ask me to leave you. I don’t want her, so yeah, I'll come out right now.” He says, not really remembering that it would probably send her a mix message.

Jeongguk exits the bathroom to find her looking at him, eyes between confusion and appreciation and he really should stop and think about his life decision before he does something only to spite Taehyung. Mostly, he just wants the blond to shut up and listen to him. So now he is pretty much naked with his neighbor also with little clothing on.

Things get worse when he slips going into the bedroom, because guess what, he is still a little wet, so he falls, towel coming undone and curses when his thigh hits the floor and side goes against the wall. She looks worried, trying to come to him, but he raised his hand, asking her to stay where she is, while he tries to fix his towel situation.

He looks in the bathroom and Taehyung looks frozen. But then the little brat starts laughing. Oh, now he forgets his jealousy, even though Jeongguk is pretty sure his downstairs neighbor just saw his dick even if it was for a second. “Fuck, sorry you had to see that.”

“Uh, pretty hard to miss.” Great, now he is blushing. As if this conversation wasn’t going to be humiliating enough, especially with his ghost probably somewhat romantic interest watching as he explains to his hot neighbor who now he sees came to him for sex that he has no interest whatsoever in fucking her because not only he had been emotionally unavailable for the last three years, but a cute little controlling blond ghost was the one to start breaking his walls and now he is pretty sure he is kind of in love with him. Became pretty obvious when he appeared on his shower, and he was so relieved that he was seeing him again that he tried to hug him while completely naked (and with him being a ghost).

Jeongguk only does this kind of humiliating shit when he has a crush, but he is also pretty sure that it goes deeper than that, especially when his living room is covered in drawings of Taehyung and also there’s a picture of him, he had stolen from his hospital bed, basically. “That’s just- great. Uh, I’m afraid that there’s been some kind of misunderstanding between us.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not really locked out of your apartment, are you?”

“I am, kinda.” She says, bashfully. “Kicked the key inside from under the door. I like to be authentic.”

“It was a nice plan, which was I pretty oblivious to. But-” He is having difficulties. She is still in some red and black lingerie.

“Eyes up here, Jeongguk.” Taehyung complains. Cute.

He grabs her dress from the chair where she had probably thrown it and gives it for her. “You might want to cover up. I’ll be blunt. I’m not interested. You are beautiful, of course. And probably really nice.”

“Look, I’m sorry if it was a bit too strong, it’s just. I’m not one for all that will-they-won't-they, I go after what I want, and I wanted you. You are too hot to be this lonely, locked inside this apartment all day long. I swear I’m not going to start stalking you or anything, it’s just sex. I’m lonely too and I just want to- I don’t know, feel like that again, even if just for a moment.”

Taehyung appeared beside her. “You should do it. She is right, you know. You need to move on and start trying to have a life. And here is a beautiful girl and she is real and in front of you. And I’m kind of in your way.” He says, walking out of the bedroom.

“No, you’re not. Taehyung!” He says, and wow, now he really sounds crazy. Taehyung doesn’t listen to him and now he has a neighbor to get rid of.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry. Look, I’m not lonely. Well, maybe I am, but it’s something I chose, and I’ve done this, this casual sex thing a lot, actually. And I never really liked it, and right now, I’m playing the long game, you know? There’s someone I kind of like, a lot maybe, it’s hard to tell or even accept. And it might not work out, if I’m being honest, the chances of everything going wrong are astronomical, but I would never risk a maybe with him for anything. Even if I feel lonely and I might never touch him and you are here in front of me, I just- I want him too much and I’m willing to wait.”

“He doesn’t have to know; I’m not asking you to get married.”

“Yeah, but do you really want me to fuck you knowing that I’ll be imagining him throughout the whole thing? That I would be wishing it was him with me, his name on my lips and him clouding my mind. Even if you don’t care, I do. I only want him.”

“Fine, if you would rather wait like a loser for someone who might not even let you touch him, who am I to argue?” She says, putting her dress back. I’ll get my ice-cream and try to fish my keys from inside the apartment, they might not be that far.”

“I can lend you some wire.” He says, remembering that he had seen it in one of the drawers. She just shakes her head, and he goes with her towards the living room, as she gathers her bags, and he grabs her ice-cream in the freezer. It sure was an ingenious plan. She is at the door, when he says: “I’m sure he wants to touch me too, you know.”

But he is sure he is talking more to himself.

It doesn’t take long for him to realize that Taehyung is at the roof. The sun is setting, and the view is breathtaking, but he can only see Taehyung. “I knew I’d find you here.”

“That was quick.”

“We both know that it didn’t happen. Taehyung, I don’t care if you stay in a coma for another year. I’m not some hormonal teenager that can’t spend a day without jacking off to some porn and wants to fuck every pretty girl who smiles at him. Truth be told, I was never much like that. You see, you told me that you always prioritized your studies and well, had few relationships, so it’s only fair I tell you about me and well, Hanna.”

Taehyung turns then. “You don’t have to.”

“I do, I need to stop feeling guilty about it.” He tells him. “Hanna was the daughter of my father’s business partner. When the merger happened and we came to Seoul, we became fast friends. She was a couple years older than me, and I was sure one day she would start to think I was annoying. Never happened, she said I was okay for a boy. We went to the same school, but she graduated before I did. It was okay, I had Yoongi. He was two years behind, because his parents traveled around the world for work, so he had gone with them, and I skipped a year. I was shy, but people liked me, from sports and shit, but not really popular in the dating thing, I was sixteen to seventeen and I looked twelve. Senior year, I had my growth spurt and I got to date this pretty girl, and experiment, until she dumped me for a college guy. But I couldn’t care less.”

“Of course, you were a jock. What did you do? We didn’t have sports in my school.”

“Yeah, I went to this international one, they had a few things. I was in wrestling, which I was good at, I have also a black belt and do boxing nowadays. And swimming. Senior year, I joined the basketball team, with my friend. I did a few sport courses in college, and we even had a few teams to play for fun. Towards the end of the senior year, though, I got another girlfriend, but I was never super in love with neither of them. So, somewhere along the way, when I was single, I ended up fucking one of my teammates on the locker room.”

“I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I guess I only met the sad version of you, which is awkward and antisocial, I didn’t know you could possibly have had game to get all this people wanting to date you or fuck you.”

“I got you to want those things, didn’t I?” He teases. Taehyung glares at him, but he is sure he would be blushing if he wasn’t a ghost.

“No comment.”

Jeongguk snorts. “By the time I was about to go into college, I was hooking up with lots of dudes. Things stayed that way during college. But it wasn’t all sex. Like, I tried to get some boyfriends, but either I wasn’t that invested, or they weren’t. Most of them wanted me for other things, like my body and sex or even money and whatever else. Like, I was afraid no one like me for me. The end of it was when I was dating this guy and my friends wanted to throw a party at my apartment at the time, it had a pool and shit, so it was a crazy event. Except I saw my dear date fucking some other guy and I was super mad. Yoongi tried to cheer me up and all, he was there with his boyfriend at the time, and he wanted me to meet someone else they thought was perfect for me. Things didn’t work out and I didn’t meet them, and I ended up getting super drunk and locking myself in my bedroom while they trashed my place.”

“I sure hope they cleaned afterwards, at least.”

“Oh yeah, hangover me was very scary. Yoongi tried to set me up again the next day, but I was swearing off guys for a while. Yoongi can be a pain, he spent months telling me I missed out, you know. I decided to start dating girls my junior year. I hadn’t been with a girl since the summer before college. Turns out, Hanna had always been in love with me. I went to a company party with this girl, and she was shocked, because we weren’t as close anymore, she was a junior when I was a freshman and now, she was out of college. Graduated early, even. Business, like a proud daddy’s little girl, already conquering her spot in the company.”

“So, what happened?”

“She always thought I was gay, so she went to my apartment later and she confessed she had always loved me and dreamed of us getting married. Took me a while to accept it, she was my best friend. But we went on innocent little dates, and she was very pretty, and she loved me for me, so I fell for her, little by little. It wasn’t those crazy earth-shattering loves that mess your whole world. It was built with time and affection. She asked me to marry her when I was in my senior year, and we got married a week after graduation. It was a simple wedding, although a few months later her parents threw this huge party, you know how it is.”

“Rich people? Sure do.”

“The first year was great, but then I started going forward with my career, going after clients. The events she took me to as her date, I got so many clients. I was good selling my vision. She worked a lot too, so the second year we barely saw each other. Which, she complained to me. I tried staying more with her, but I loved my job and she had like almost three years of career-building ahead of me. We fought a lot, she accused me of not loving her like she did me and it took me a lot of thinking to realized it was kind of true, you know? She was completely in love with me for some reason I don’t understand to this day, but I- I loved her, sure. But for her was that kind of great love that took even her by surprise. I was her first love, which she grew with since childhood. For me, it was- ugh, I hate to think like this, but it was familiar and safe. It was never about passion and going crazy for each other, that intense need. But at that time, I just thought we were in different stages of life.”

“Jeongguk, you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“I feel like I was leading her on, in some way. I gave her all I could, but- it was nowhere near what she gave me. I sometimes thought I shouldn’t have said to her I’d try. In our fourth anniversary, she gave me a small baby shoe and said she wanted to have kids. I was a guy in his mid-twenties, Tae, I didn’t want kids. To be honest, I never thought about kids. I went from serial dating to this super serious relationship, but she was moving too fast and scared the hell out of me. I said no and boy, it was a huge fight. It was a fight so big, I suggested divorce. That broke her and me as well. I went to a friend’s house. For a whole week, every talk we had, she brought back the fact that I never had time for her, was always working, that I wasn’t in love with her. Until I decided that had to end, so I went back home, and I said I’m taking you on a date.”

Jeongguk stops, looks up at Taehyung. It’s crazy talking about all of that out loud. He had before, of course. To Yoongi, at first. And then to a therapist. And even to a buddy of his in the military.

“Are you okay to continue?”

“Yeah, I’m just scared. Most people tell me I did nothing wrong; you know. But I still feel like it’s my fault. I’m scared they are lying and that you will hate me.”

“I could never hate you.”

“I planned the date. With all the things she said we didn’t do anymore. But also, as a compromise. Something she liked and something I did. She liked going to fancy restaurants and trips and things like that. I liked to stay at home. Still, I took her to Muchangpo beach, she loved it because of the Mystic Sea Road Festival. We went to the beach in the morning and then we stayed at the hotel, watching marvel movies, which she hated. But my goal was for us to enjoy just being together. We went to a fancy restaurant, which I don’t like much, but she did, and we even danced. I remember she sat down, said she was a little dizzy and tired. That was weird for her, she was very energetic. We got to the hotel and decided to walk on the beach, but going there, her heel broke. She is cursing and I’m holding her. Then she takes them off and we are walking in the sand, she stops, look at me, holds her head and passes out.”

They stay in silence for a while until Taehyung asks. “Cerebral hemorrhage?” Jeongguk nods.

“Yeah, she had a spontaneous subarachnoid hemorrhage. I’ll never forget this name. Apparently, she had been feeling it for days, she thought it was stress, because of our fights and fear that I might leave her. That is what her friend told me, at least. So not only I didn’t love her well enough, but I also drove her into death. She was just gone, you know. Like she looked at me and she was dead. They threw words of me like Willis’ circle, weak spots, arteries or whatever. Apparently, she had an arteriovenous malformation, and she probably had an aneurysm for a long time. Like a ticking-bomb in her brain, still the feeling I was the one that detonated, hurt a lot. She had headaches far too often. I never took her to the doctor.”

“There’s no way you could have known. A healthy young woman. Headaches can be common, not always associated with something dangerous. And even if you guys had caught the aneurysm before it ruptured, it could be inoperable. You would just be waiting for it do rupture. Also, it’s often a game of chance. A lot of people survive, others don’t. It didn’t rupture because of you. If she had a malformation in her cerebral circuit, chances are it wasn’t even the first one. It probably started very small and grew and it was in a bad location.”

“Still, it was awful. I know her parents blamed me, which caused a huge fight between the families. Her father tried to overthrow mine, but she left everything to me, so I got her shares, it was just a nasty business. He punched me in her funeral. Her mother accused me of using her. I know they were hurt, but still, I loved her. Even if it wasn’t as she wanted, I loved her a lot. She was my oldest friend, my best friend, really. She was amazing and she brought me out of my shell, made me feel protected, and I miss her every day. After, I kind of went into a binge of alcohol and anonymous sex, before I decided I was disgusting and didn’t deserve her. I donated all that she left me to some of her favorite charities and neuroscience research. Got a therapist, got remotely better. I stopped working, partially because I had no inspiration and also because I thought that if she lost her life, I should do a sacrifice, you know. Then I went to the military, came back not knowing what next. Getting to my thirties as an unemployed widower.”

“Is that the title you decided to give to yourself?”

“What else would you give me?”

“I don’t know, how about Jeon Jeongguk, ghost helper, nice investigator, life saver, friend, casual gourmet cook, couch-lover, surprisingly fitness dude, oh yeah, I know you like to work out when you are not feeling lazy. How about my keeper? You are the only thing connecting me to this world, Jeongguk. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have realized who I was and I would probably end up dying. I’m sure whatever she is, Hanna is proud of you. You loved her more than you realized, or else, you would have moved on much faster. And not all loves are the same. We don’t get all to be Namjoon and Jimin. My brother had felt that earth-shattering love and he left it. People make choices. You chose her, to love her, and I don’t think you should criticize the way in which you did. Love comes in different ways, some are messy and intense and leave you breathless, full of passion, but also unstable. Others sneak up on you and grows with time and makes you feel safe. There’s no better way.”

“What about destiny?”

“I don’t know if I believe in destiny.”

“Don’t you believe that sometimes the universe does everything to bring two people together?”

“I don’t know, do you think the universe really cares who you date?”

“You are very skeptical of things, right? You were already giving up connecting to your body, if it wasn’t for me when I touched you, you would be there, all mopey, because the monitors are not responding. Maybe the monitors are not where the problem is.”

“Should be. All I know is that when they are not right, that’s when you die, or you don’t wake up. If everything was right, I would be awake.”

“Then why are you here talking to me? How?”

“Whatever. I don’t know either.”

“I’m certain that whatever is wrong with you, maybe it’s something that your medicine can’t explain, that our knowledge can’t.”

Taehyung sighs, clearly bothered. “Then now what?”

“Now, we can go do something you want to do.”

“I want to watch movies.”

“Then we go watch movies.” Jeongguk says, smiling at Taehyung and fuck, he is going crazy. “Can we go somewhere tomorrow? Someplace special?”

“As you wish.”

Jeongguk ends up falling sleep within twenty minutes of the first movie they set up to watch. But he had planned it all, for the movies to keep starting one after the other, so Taehyung wouldn’t get bored in his sleepless night. He is getting kind of good in distracting himself without using other things beside his own brain. At the hospital, he would meditate or review some techniques in his mind. That was before he realized he could walk around and watch procedures, like surgeries, or even go to a room with a television on.

It’s in the middle of the night that he remembers Jeongguk talking earlier about some drawings and sure thing he finds a couple of them on the desk. It’s him, various face expressions, looking so beautiful. He never was like that in the mirror, it makes him think that Jeongguk sure does see him in a different light.

He goes back to the couch, wishing he could touch the cute guy beside him and then he just lies down, going back to his movie, mind full of love and Jeongguk.

In the morning, Jeongguk prepares an omelet, that despite being made super quickly, looked delicious. Taehyung was so envious of him, getting to taste it, while he was left there, only wishing he could. His pout resulted in Jeongguk telling him he had an omelet coupon he could use with him when he was back in his body. Taehyung didn’t tell him he had dozens of coupons he wanted to use with Jeongguk already in his mind.

He knows exactly where he wants to take Taehyung first. Last night, he had texted his old client and asked if he could perhaps visit. The man was a big friend of his dad and he and his wife had taken a like to Jeongguk while he worked on their house. They had this huge empty space going to one side and behind their house and had hired his to make something of it. Mrs. Han liked gardening, and she had a lot of trees up front, with fruits and flowers. Jeongguk had made this sort of secret garden concept.

The finalized project consisted in a path, that started from this arch he created, made of wood. It was one of his last projects, so he made a lot of the arch himself. They put some plants in there and by the time they were finished, the green had just made the arch even prettier. There was a sort of wooden gate, but you could still see the path through it. Opening it, there was the straight path towards the end of the house, with some bushes with flowers and the like. The path was made of stone and then when you got to the garden, it was beautiful. It had everything you could think of. There were trees, not as well kept as the ones in the front, and Jeongguk put lights around them and worked to create sections. A fountain in between some bushes, a small pond with a bridge, lots of flowers, little stone paths taken to different sections. The mini greenhouse he built to store Mrs. Han favorite flowers or the nice pergola with chairs where she would serve tea or the fire pit.

Ever since Taehyung mentioned his wish for it to be a garden on the roof, Jeongguk had been wanting to show it to him, what he could do, this insane want inside him of being able to give Taehyung anything he wanted. The drive was a bit long, around an hour outside of Seoul, but they were happy, elling each other stories of their youth and just giggling and being in love good friends.

Jeongguk turned off his phone, because his parents had started calling lately, a bit worried that he hadn’t started moving to build his life again, going after potential clients or even opening his website again. Yoongi also had been texting, asking him about his hallucinations and why he was avoiding him since that episode from the bar. Sadly, the only person he wanted texting him, Hoseok, hadn’t yet.

They got there to the house. Tall brick walls and an intricate metal gate, with a clear path towards the front. Mr. and Mrs. Han were waiting for him at the front door. “If it isn’t Jeon Jeongguk in the flesh. We haven’t seen you in years. How was the military?” The older man asked him, as soon as he left the car.

“Intense, sir.”

“I was so happy when my husband told me you had contacted him. I’ve been taking really good care of the place you made for me, haven’t I?”

“She drinks her afternoon tea there every day and stays there reading for hours. I also enjoy the occasional fire, it’s a peaceful place.”

“I’m glad.”

“I’m going to let you observe a little by yourself then and get a pot of tea ready for us to enjoy. Be free to explore, I'll be right back.” She says, her husband following her as he points to the side of the house with his head. Jeongguk nods and when they are inside, he turns to where Taehyung is, admiring the trees and the house.

“It’s pretty here.”

“Is it?”

“I would like a house somewhere outside the city, you know. Just to visit in the holidays that I never took, probably would stay empty. Maybe at a beach or the mountains. Somewhere quiet, with not many people around.”

“Come with me. Close your eyes when I tell you.” He instructs him, before guiding him to the arch with the gate and opening it. “You see this stone path? It’s pretty linear, so close your eyes and follow my voice. Just open them when I tell you too.”

Taehyung nods and Jeongguk walks slowly, guiding him until they can see the garden. “Can I open?”

“Yeah.”

He opens his eyes only to gasp. It’s beautiful. All of it. The flowers, the trees, the pond. He walks around like a little kid in an amusement park, not knowing which way to go first. He goes to the pond, watching the beautiful fish and walks on the bridge. Goes to the older trees and sees the bushes and the flowers, the greenhouse, the pergola, the fire pit, everything. “It’s breathtaking, Jeonggukie.”

Jeongguk laughs. “What was that?”

“Shut up. You are amazingly talented. You should go back.”

“Is it like how you imagined?” He asks, meaning something similar for the roof. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to put a pond on the roof and trees, but he thought about a pergola and some stone paths, a fountain, a porch swing.

But apparently, Taehyung takes it in a different way, because he gasps again. “Oh, my God, how do you know? Jeongguk, I dreamed about this place!”

Jeongguk looks at him a little confused. He can’t sleep. “What do you mean dreamed? When?”

“It was in the day of the accident, wow. I was taking a five-minute power nap while waiting for more of that disgusting coffee from the on-call room machine and I dreamed I was on that bench and there was music playing and birds and sun on my face. It's the exact same place, how can it be?”

His heart is pounding. He had been considering that he might be connected to Taehyung in more ways than this one, being able to see him, but- this is crazy.

It’s weird, how his feelings changed so fast. And yet, it wasn’t fast. It took hours and hours of then being obnoxiously annoying to each other for him to start getting attached. He could see it now, how fondness was always there deep inside, since the moment Taehyung decided to annoy him away. How he had enjoyed their little truce breaks, watching movies, their little banter, how he decided to get rid of him when he started getting attached, even enjoying his voice and incessant singing. How he helped him and how everything changed when they touched.

An electric touch.

“Taehyung” He starts, voice weak. Taehyung is too distracted around the garden to hear him, but he wants to say it. Those three little words he seldom said it, even during his marriage. he was more reserved in that regard; he’d rather bring home flowers than to say: “I love you.”

Taehyung doesn’t hear it, of course, he is giggling watching the fish splashing around. And he is about to go after him and say it to his face, but he hears steps, and his courage leaves him. “Are you around, dear? Tea is ready.”

Tea with the Hans is delightful. They tell stories and even some about him as a kid that he didn’t even remember. Their son, Changwoo, is a college friend of his. It’s been quite some time since he saw Changwoo, maybe even in the funeral. He remembers him there with Yoongi as he cries after the harsh words from his in-laws. He asks about his friend; turns out he is engaged and Jeongguk should expect an invite to the wedding soon. It’s next spring and they are mid-fall, so it’s several months away.

He imagines RSVPing and marking that he is bringing a plus one and imagines Taehyung in a suit, how handsome he would look. God.

Is this your doing, Hanna?

He had dozens of conversations with her. The nicest one was after a particularly good therapy session where he was probably the healthiest (emotionally speaking) before now. He had gone to the very beach where she had fallen in his arms and taken her favorite flowers. He sat down and talked to her while watching the ocean and he had said that he had felt a little pressured into loving her in the beginning, because he felt rejecting her would end their friendship as well. not by her, but by his own insecurities. And when he thought he hadn’t been able to love her right, he thought if she would have preferred if he just left and that time, she answered no. That the times she complained, it was her own insecurities that he didn’t love her at all and was with her out of pity.

It was the most amazing conversation he had with her and that day, when he got back to Seoul, he went to this café. It was pretty full, and he asked for a coffee and a piece of cake, sitting in the corner. He might have been tired, because he dozed off and when he woke up, the place was almost empty. He looked outside and it was pouring rain. He hugged himself and sighed. “You can grab one of these umbrellas from the lost and found, they’ve been here for ages, you know.” The barista said.

Going through the lost and found, he gasped when he saw this familiar purple umbrella with a whale pendant. He inspected for a while, seeing the little bear holding a heart and the phrase “for rainy days” engraved in the handle ring. That was his umbrella. He didn’t remember going to this café before and he was pretty sure he lost it seven years ago or something. It had been a gift from Hanna, and he remembers he lost it before they got together, and he cried when he did.

When they started dating, she said he didn’t need it anymore, because they could always share hers. She had the same one, but hers had a little bunny, which happened to be one of Jeongguk’s favorite animals (I wasn’t going to engrave a dinosaur in an umbrella, Gukkie).

He took it as a sign that she had heard him.

Of course, it all went to shit a week later, when he got back from his therapy and ran into his former mother-in-law and they had a fight and he felt like shit and got drunk, almost got himself into a car accident and after crying talks with his parents and Yoongi, decided that he needed a break, and it was time to enlist.

He keeps driving, Taehyung looking around, waiting for a sign from his wife and best friend. Now that he feels a little lighter, he thinks she might be happy for him, that he might be ready to love again. “Where are we going, it’s totally the wrong direction.”

“It would be if we were going to Seoul, but we are not. I thought that it might be nice for us to take a little vacation, you know. Maybe distract ourselves, clear our heads, so we can come back and focus on getting you to stick on your body.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to. Where are you taking me?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to see when we get there.” He tells him, not bothering to look to know that he is pouting.

What he doesn’t know is that a curious Taehyung is relentless in his methods of annoyance. He pouts and sighs and tries to trick him into giving the answer. Still, he keeps it quiet until he starts seeing the signs and tries guessing. “Why are we in Gangwon-do?” He asks all he can imagine from it, which is not a lot, because Taehyung doesn’t know a lot about this province. He never explored much the northeast of the country, not that he was much of a traveler. He had been to the States, because of Jin and a few times to Japan and once to Europe in a family trip (his mom and his aunt bickered the whole trip). Inside Korea, he knew Daegu, Ulsan, Busan, Incheon and Seoul and some other places around these cities. He knew Namjoon liked to visit the parks and Jimin always complained about his poor legs when they got back.

Jeongguk is laughing at his confusion.

“Give me a hint.”

“Alright, the place we are going it’s in Gangwon-do.”

“You are no fun.” He says, glaring at the other. Jeongguk giggles.

“Says the person trying to ruin my surprise. Sit you pretty tush there and relax, just enjoy the sights and soon we will be there.”

Taehyung obeys, because it’s his only choice and keeps watching the road. Yangyang-gun. What does he know about it? Not much. Soon, they are passing through beautiful sights and Jeongguk starts telling him about it. He says that his mother was from Gangwon-do and when he was young, they would spend the weekends there, exploring the beautiful spots, disconnecting from the city and just being in touch with nature. They had a house near a beach and soon enough they arrive at his beautiful house, not very big, but kind of quirky. “I design it.”

“What?”

“Mother wanted to encourage my creative vision. She was my first client and she wanted a crazy looking beach house, that by itself would be a sight. My mother always liked nature and adventure, so I decided to do this design.” It sure was a different house. There was a pool with an island with a tree in the middle of it and beside the pool, there was the white flooring, with a dark metal structure with some pillars suspending a wood room with glass walls. Going away from the poor, the first floor was pretty open, with a large living room and kitchen and these fancy stairs taking you to some rooms and ending at the wood-house above the pool. “It’s very nice.”

“Not my best work, believe me, I went a little overboard, but I like this room as some sort of lookout. You can see the beach from here, just sit here and enjoy the view. Or when you are crazy like Yoongi, jump into the pool.”

Taehyung looks down. “I’m asking myself now, what would happen if I jumped.” He says, jumping from the place as Jeongguk yelled. He falls right into the pool, but he feels nothing. Some part of his brain provides him with the sensation, but he is not wet or anything.

Jeongguk frowns at him. “Very funny, blondie.”

“It’s Taehyung, and I’m a ghost. Just live a little, Jeon.”

They meet again downstairs, Jeongguk has beach clothes on and Taehyung will make do with his usual outfit. They go out for a walk, nothing much. Taehyung nags Jeongguk into putting sunscreen, even if it’s fall and the sun is barely out. Still, it’s fun. They walk and talk, telling each other more stories and Taehyung’s hand itches to be held. Jeongguk is feeling the same, eyeing the blond’s delicate hand, wishing they could touch.

“Which beach is this?”

“Naksan.”

“It’s pretty. Not very crowded.”

“I like it here; it’s not as overhyped as some other ones around here. It does get crowded sometimes, but still, it’s nice. The market is cool, we can go there after and there’s some delicious food around here. Of course, there’s the Naksansa temple, I’ll take you there after I get something to eat. We can go look around the Seoraksan National Park. I can bring you here some other day and we can take a longer hike and everything. Whatever you want.”

“I would love that.”

Their day goes on. Jeongguk shows him the market and buys his favorite local food, trying to describe to his ghost date what it tastes like. He is a pretty good sport, closing his eyes and imagining and he looks so beautiful, giggling, the wind hitting them. They visit the temple and all Jeongguk wanted was to take dozens of pictures of Taehyung on his phone.

It’s late afternoon and Jeongguk is watching Taehyung seeing all the people in the market, or going to see what some kids were doing. His latest gasp as the little store where they were maybe selling some puppies. “Look, Gukkie. Aren’t they cute?”

Not as cute as you, he thinks, like the loser he is. There are about five puppies, little balls of fluff and Taehyung’s favorite is the smallest one. They spent about fifteen minutes watching, rooting for the little guy to get his chew toy, but he stumbled a bit when he walked. Soon, Taehyung gets distracted with a musician playing around and goes watch.

A teenaged girl approaches the puppies with a bowl of milk and food. They are so small and they try to fight each other for it. The baby barely gets to the bowl. “Are you selling?”

“Yeah, but- not for much. The mother was found on the street with no identification, which is weird for this breed. My father is a vet, so we take lost puppies and take care of them. But she was pregnant and we already have lots of dogs. Most of them already have owners, they are coming back to get them. I’m only worried about-”

“The small one?”

“Yeah, he was pretty sick in the beginning, couldn’t compete with the others for milk and everything. We had to help him a lot and people look at him, all small and a little awkward. We are almost asking someone to adopt him. Of course, if he stays, we will take care of him.”

“I’ll take him.”

Taehyung was walking around, listening to the music. It was such a pretty place, people having fun on the street. He imagined the smell of food must be delicious. It is weird, how some of his senses as a ghost are unstable. Sometimes he is able to smell things and he can see and hear and move around, sit in places. But he can’t touch or pick up things and he can’t taste either (food would probably go through him anyway). It was a funny thing, who made up the ghost rules of what he is allowed do to or not?

He looks at the sea and asks himself if he went to the sea and dug his head inside of the water, eyes open, if he could see underwater and just explore. How deep could he go? It’s not like he has to breath or the pressure will kill him. He is about to tell Jeongguk that when he realizes he is not beside him anymore.

Where is he?

The answer comes a few moments later, when he sees the man coming towards him with a big smile on his face, carrying a bag in one arm and a box on the other. “What’s in this box?”

“That was what Schrödinger wanted to know.” He jokes. “See for yourself.”

Taehyung gets closer, only to noticed the box is open and inside there’s a small puppy. “No way.”

“You liked him and you said you always wanted one and there’s no time like the present, right?” Taehyung gasps, looking at the little brown ball of fur. He coos and the dog looks at him and happily barks. “I guess there’s some truth on the whole dogs see ghosts’ legend.”

“Oh, my God, you can see me, little guy? You are adorable, aren’t you Tannie?”

“Tannie? Who said you could name the dog.”

Taehyung snorts. “As if you didn’t buy the dog for me, Jeongguk. Please, I’m on to you.”

He doesn’t bother denying it. It’s true, Taehyung has his wrapped around his pretty finger. They decide to go to the house and play a little bit with the dog (his whole name is Yeontan, but Tan when he is cute). When they get there, though, it’s raining.

“Jesus, how did this happen I hate rain, I guess they are a bad omen for me now? It was raining when the accident happened.”

“That’s okay, I have an umbrella. He parks pretty close to the entrance and goes to the backseat, picks up the umbrella and Tannie’s box, taking it entrance, already protected. He types in the code, puts the box inside and leaves the dog under Taehyung’s watchful eyes while he goes back to get the bag with all the things he bought at the store (he maybe went a little too crazy) and locking his car.

They are getting set, Tannie already in his little playpen with his chew toy and little doll, bowl of food and water, barking happily as Taehyung does faces. Jeongguk shakes the excess water from his umbrella.

“Hey!” He hears. Taehyung is behind him. “You stole my umbrella.”

What?

“That’s impossible, blondie. I brought that umbrella to the apartment; I didn’t find it there. It’s been mine for a really long time.”

“That’s ridiculous. I had it back in college. Yes, it’s the same one. I remember, because this tone of purple is my favorite and I always loved the little whale, I called it Betty.”

“You are ridiculous. There’s an engraving on the handle ring. Hanna got me this umbrella for my birthday when I was young. Her favorite color was purple and her favorite animal was a bear, so she engraved it with the phrase-”

“For a rainy day, yes. I had it, and my family calls me baby bear, because of this stupid coat my mom put me on when I was a child.”

“Taehyung, sweetheart. I have both of them. One is at the apartment, but I show you. The other is black, and it has a bunny instead of the bear, but it’s the same. Where did you get yours, she had them made?”

The blond stops and then something clicks. “Oh, fuck. It’s weird. It was on this party I went to during college, you know. My brother was bothering me to go and meet this guy, or at least have fun, and I had a test to study for. I went, but it was too crazy for me. The host went crazy or something and locked himself into his room, it was a mess. I went out and when I got at the lobby, it was raining. The doorman said there was an umbrella who had been left there and he had asked around and no one recognized so he gave it to me. I had it for years, until-”

“You left it at a café.”

“Yes, I think so. I had it one day I was out with Jiminie, just walking around and then I lost it. We went to so many places, I never went looking for it.”

“That was my party.”

“What?”

“That was my party, at my house and you grabbed my umbrella. That was the day my boyfriend cheated on me. We could have met that day, Taehyung. I was so crushed I lost it, but Hanna told me it was a sign that we were meant to share just one umbrella now. Then after she died, I could barely look at her umbrella, just kept hidden on my trunk. And then, I went to a café, the day I asked for a sign that she didn’t blame me and I found it again.”

“That’s crazy. Do you think it’s a magical umbrella? And that’s why you can see me?” Taehyung asks and Jeongguk wants to laugh. Taehyung really doesn’t believe in destiny. But he doesn’t think it’s the right time to point that out to him, that they shared an umbrella without ever meeting.

“Who knows.” He tells him instead. “Fuck, I forgot my phone in the car. Actually, it’s been off the whole day. If my mother tried to contact me and I didn’t send her my usual ‘I’m fine, mother’, she’ll think something happened. I’ll be right back.”

The whole day had been amazing, so he barely remembered about his phone. In a few hours he will wish he did.

The nurses of in the third-floor nurses’ station were a little surprised. They could hear Jimin, one of them, shouting from inside the on-call room. It was great gossip the amazing romance between their adorable little colleague and the handsome young Chief of Surgery. However, things had been pretty gloomy since the charming Dr. Kim had been in a coma after a car accident. Lots of them had covered for Jimin when he had some crying fits or panic attacks. After his breakdown in seeing his best friend arriving all bloody and fragile in an ambulance, they all protected him.

Which is why Aecha, the charge nurse for the Emergency Department, looks around and threatens all the interns gathering around trying to secure some gossip that they better go back to work for God’s sake, or they will be buried in scut work until the next century, smiling at herself when they all scatter like the toys from Toy-Story when humans come back. Then she goes and closes the door, warning Siwon to be on the lookout.

Inside the room, is the usual crew. Jimin, Seyeon and Sora were there, all on one side, leaning against the counter and Namjoon was near the door. “Jimin, please, use your inside voice.”

“How can they do that? They know Taehyung meant that if he were in danger of having grave debilitating consequences, he would rather be off life-support. That’s not the case, he is stable, there’s nothing physically wrong with him. I know he is waking up soon.”

“His heartbeat went real low yesterday.”

“Just for a second, it was probably a malfunction of the monitor. Joonie, I can feel it in my gut that he is going to be okay. People have woken up from longer comas.”

“They just gave the form to Jin-hyung, as they should have. In any other circumstances, they would have already followed the patient’s wishes.”

“But he is considering it!” Jimin yells. “How can he?”

“He wasn’t before, that I know of. And I’m not sure he is now, but yesterday, they got a little scared. Aunt and uncle are very shaken with the news that Taehyung’s wishes are not being followed. If they decide to turn it off, there’s not much we can do.”

“He can't do this with Taehyung. I’m not the only one that thinks that. Seyeon agrees with me, right? And she is a pregnant woman; she has psychic powers right now or something, like sixth sense?”

They all look at Seyeon who is currently munching on a piece of chocolate. “What?”

“His brother just wants to respect his wishes.” Sora offers. “He’s been inquiring all of us about our medical opinions, which are not reflecting into a good prognosis. Of course, people are always beating the statistics, so it’s a matter of choice now. How long do you think he would like to stay that way?”

“If it was for him to come back to us, I’m sure he would wait an eternity.”

“We need to be realistic here. Taehyung has expressed in documental form and verbally a bunch of time that he wouldn’t like to be trapped with no chances to come back or a hostage of his own body.”

“But he has chances, though.” Seyeon offers between bites of chocolate. Sora looks at her.

“Where did you get those? You are supposed to be watching what you eat. Your blood pressure.”

She shrugs, thinking is better not to mention how Jimin got suspicious of the way Dr. Lee had been rounding Taehyung’s room, trying to talk with Jin in his last visits, and decided to bribe her with a box of chocolates to spy on her.

“Right now, things could go either way. He just always expressed this wish.”

“No one knows what Tae would wish for right now. Namjoon, he signed that document years ago. Right now, he doesn't know what he is going to miss. And neither does Jin. Tae needs to be here for so much. He needs to be here to hear that his mother is going into remission, because she fought so bravely, with all her family by her side. He needs to be here to save his patients, to do what he was born to do, to implement all his amazing ideas in the hospital, to finally have the freedom he always worked for as the most amazing attending in this ER.”

Namjoon sighs. It’s not like he disagrees with Jimin, but decisions like this are tough and also there is the possibility that he might not wake-up. “Love…”

“He needs to be here to see our baby, Joon. And Seyeon’s. To hold them, sing for them, and giggle when they do adorable things. He needs love and be loved. He has a hot boyfriend that seems like a good person. Enough that he sent me texts twice a day asking about Tae even though they were barely together. I can see it in his eyes. Tae deserves a love like that.”

That is something they all agree on. They want him here with them, during all the great moments, but also the bad ones. They miss him. “Either way, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not his medical proxy; I'm not on his case.”

“You are the chief of surgery.” Jimin pouts.

“Yes, but I don’t own the hospital, and I can't start a fight with my own family. Tae is not going for surgery, he is in a coma and they are turning the life support off, maybe. It is outside my lane and I do not think there is enough for us to enter with a legal process. My hands are tied.”

“I won’t let anyone kill him when he is still here. When there’s still hope.”

“Love, they are not. The papers have been drawn and Seokjin is weighing down the arguments to make an informed decision that he thinks Taehyung would make if he were here. If you want, I can drive us there and you can talk to him and present your case.”

“You don’t know how to drive.” Jimin says, fighting off a smile. Namjoon chuckles.

“I do know how to drive. I just choose not to and I am not very practiced. However, I have an excellent driver at my disposal. I have access to a helicopter if you want. I know you have not been able to drive since the accident.” He sighs, know this next topic will be a difficult one. “Jimin, I see what you are going through, that most nights I'm on-call you pretend you're going home, but you sleep at his room. I am giving you space to be able to tell me things on your own. I have waited. Nevertheless, you need to wake up as well and start living your life. We are going to be parents soon. In about twenty weeks, we will need to go to the US and be there for your sister. We will come back with a baby.”

“I know.”

“The nursery, we haven’t painted it, we didn’t shop for all the things we will need. We haven’t told our families yet. I know what you wanted to do those things with your soulmate, which I understand; I respect the different bond you two have.”

Jimin snorts, rolling his eyes, before smiling. “I would like to have you there as well.”

“I’m glad, love. But I remember our wedding and how Taehyung laughed at my face when I suggested roses for the arrangements.”

“Roses are stupid and a cliché, Joonie, you should know that.”

“I do now, thanks to you two. What I’m saying is, time is ticking, our lives did not stop just because Taehyung is not in them right now. Therefore, I am offering you a deal. I will take you to hyung and you can argue, with calm, grace, and the vision of a professional of health, not just as a best friend, that he is to be kept in life-support for a little while longer. But after that, you will respect whatever decision is made and start planning things for our baby, alright?” He tells him, offering his pinky to his husband, because he knew Jimin and Taehyung always sealed their deals with a pinky swear.

Jimin nods, smiling. Namjoon offers his hand. “You got things while I am out, Dr. Kang? Please, inform the other department heads that I am resolving a family matter and will be back shortly.”

“Yes, Dr. Kim. Good luck to both of you. We will be waiting.” She says, Seyeon nodding on her side, mouth full of chocolate. “Don’t do it again, Jimin.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Sora.” He winks at her. In the hallway, he throws smiles at his colleagues, blowing a kiss to Aecha. “You know, I like lavender and teal, but I saw this really pretty design with mostly white walls and one darker blue or even green, all white furniture.”

Namjoon laughs, kissing the top of his head as they both walk to the parking lot. “We have time, love.”

Turns out Yeontan is a little devil. As soon as he realizes that if he starts whining, Taehyung will make Jeongguk give him whatever he wants, the little dog has head lots of treats and is currently chewing happily on his toy while lying on Jeongguk’s stomach, getting fur all over his hoodie.

“I think I am in love.”

“Happy to hear that I have been bested by a dog in a matter of hours. It took you weeks for even like me, what is that about?”

“Who said I love you, Jeon?” Taehyung teases. They certainly did not tell each other, but it was almost like a mutual realization, especially after the day they just had.

“I guess if you don’t, I will retreat sadly to my quarters, to cry it out, only me, myself and my little puppy.” He jokes back, laughing when Taehyung pouts.

“No door can keep me out, Jeon.”

“Is that so?” He smiles, tongue-in-cheek. He hears a ping. “Finally, my phone is awake. Whatever kept it turned off for this long, I had plenty of battery when I did this morning. I guess it is a little old… maybe I should get a new one. Especially now that I need plenty of space to take lots of pictures of little Tannie here.”

“He is quite adorable; you won’t want to miss out on it.”

A series of pings interrupts them. “Geez, must be Mother Jeon. She is probably going crazy with a day of radio-silence. I’m telling you, when you meet her, you’ll see.”

“Wants me to meet you mother already, Jeon?” He asks, voice full of teasing. But Jeongguk doesn’t answer him, too focused on the texts on his phone. There’s a frown on his face and he suddenly gets up, putting Yeontan back into his playpen before he runs off the house.

Taehyung is surprised, not knowing what made him suddenly so angry, but he can see that he is in the little space beside the pool, walking in circles. He jumps, warning the pup that he will be right back and going after Jeongguk. “What happened, Gukkie?”

“Did you know?” He shouts and Taehyung steps backwards when he sees that the anger is directed at him. “Were you going to tell me?”

“Know what? You are making no sense.”

“That they are taking you off life-support.”

His eyes go wide. “What? How do you know that?”

Jeongguk snorts, head shaking. “So you did know. Of course you did. Those three straight days you stayed by your body. But you didn’t tell me. Jimin just sent me a text, saying that he tried talking to your brother, but he is afraid he is going to take you off the life support. Why would he?”

“Since when do you talk to Jimin?”

“Since you decided to stay at the hospital and I thought I would never see you again, and he offered me his card and told me he would update me.” He tells Taehyung. Jeongguk is shaking, with anger and fear. The blond sighs. Jimin had found out then. In addition, Jin was considering more seriously, apparently, which was news. He thought after the talk with Namjoon… Oh, God. And he had forgotten to tell Jeongguk about it.

“It’s not like he wants to. They found this document I signed saying that if I found myself in this situation, and things weren't looking up after a certain period of time, I wouldn’t like to keep prolonging the inevitable.”

“Why the hell would you do that?” Jeongguk looks baffled. “Don’t you want to live?”

“Yes, now I do. But how would I have imagined that I’d end up like this one day, Jeongguk. I lived a fairly safe life. I thought that when the time came, that was it, dead, over. I never thought I would walk around as a sort-of-ghost and find something like... you. I always feared ending up in a cage inside my own body. I never thought I would be kept in one outside of it.”

Jeongguk listens to him and nods, before he moves quickly to inside the house and starts gathering stuff. “We need to go.”

“What? Why? Where?”

“Talk to your brother, Taehyung. Do you think I am going to let them take you away just like that when I know you are right here? NO! You changed my fucking life, blondie, and I am saving yours.” He says, serious, eyes burning in an intensity that made Taehyung nervous.

“What are you going to do?” He asks, because he is a little afraid Jeongguk is going to do something crazy that will end up backfiring.

“Well, I don’t have all the answers, blondie. We better think of some ideas on the way back. Fuck, do you know where your brother lives? You mentioned he moved or something? Doesn’t matter, I’ll text Jimin for the address, it’s all under control.”

He has got to be kidding. There’s no way they are doing this today. “Jeongguk, we can't go there today, by the time we get back to Seoul, it’s going to be almost midnight or something. I think we should stay around here; we can make the plan as you want and then do this tomorrow morning. It’s late, it’s raining.”

“There's no time.” He grabs his car keys, already going towards his car, in the fucking rain, taking their things. The purple umbrella forgotten in the corner, by now completely dry.

“NO!” He screams. Jeongguk looks at him, confused. “The only thing that will happen if we go now is that you can lose control. I was doing a route I did at least twice a week, Jeongguk. I knew it like the palm of my hand. It took only one second for it to almost kill me. You are nervous and it is a long road, we have had a long day and it is raining. If you get in that car, I am not going with you. I will fly away to my limbo and never come back. Please, listen to me.”

Jeongguk punches the air, frustrated. “Tae, I don’t want to lose you.”

I don’t want to lose you! You are alive, with an amazing talent and a whole life ahead of you. I'm sorry to say, but you never really had me, not for sure. We still don’t know, even if I stay there, practically in suspended animation, if we are going to find a way to bring me back. Do you really want to waste years-”

“YES! Of course, I want to and I would. I would wait an eternity for you. Because if it wasn't for you, I would be wasting them anyway, but without hope. I would be slowly killing myself, already dead to the world. Walking in an endless tunnel with no light in sight. You, Kim Taehyung, are my light. The exit I found to lead me to happiness again. I found you and-”

“All right. However, let us do this tomorrow. Please. We will think of something together and we will talk to hyung, but tomorrow. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Jeongguk says, offering his hand and Taehyung goes as if he is touching him, just imagining it what it would be like again. He remembers how electric it felt the first time. They just stay there, looking at their hands almost touching.

“Great, we go tomorrow.” He says, entering the house and going back to watching Yeontan.

Jeongguk sighs, a bit frustrated, but goes back inside. “As you wish, blondie.”

Taehyung is giggling. Pouty-Jeongguk complained that he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but it took him one and a half movies to go and start snoring. it was an adorable picture, the man there, resting with the little Yeontan on his chest, also peacefully sleeping (because there’s no way he will be sleeping on the bed, blondie, I’m not going to be one of those guys who treats pets like kids) and he feels at peace.

There’s a really big chance he is going to die at the end of this. Jin in his normal would probably fight for him, but Jin, defeated, taking care of his two baby girls in the middle of a divorce, worrying about their mother, with a new restaurant and his baby brother motionless at the hospital for months now, he must be tired. In a way, he almost wants it to end. Of course, he would rather they find the way to get him back inside his body, but he also wanted to end their suffering.

As if I wouldn’t suffer if you were gone, you brat. He hears perfectly in his hyung’s voice.

He thinks that his absence is a sure thing either way. He has no idea what is wrong. He thought maybe he had to help Jeongguk or they had to make peace, maybe they had been enemies in a previous life (he went from skeptical to a reincarnation believer, that’s just amazing). But now the only thing it was done to them, was that they probably fell in love, so easily, like breathing and now Jeongguk would be just another one suffering.

Still, if he was dead, it would be final. His family would grieve, but they would move on, remembering the good times. It’s the hope that hurts the most. He knows because it’s the feeling that tears his heart open when a patient that he was sure he could save doesn’t make it off the table. Or when you see that hope burn so bright, from their families and even themselves and you see that fire dimming until its extinct, and he sees being put out from their eyes, until it’s over. The hope is gone.

He wonders if he will just disappear like that, like a candle being blown. He wonders if there’s another side or it ends here. Spirits fix their mistakes and go. It makes no sense, though. Does it? He remembers patients who had different beliefs, research he had to do so he would know how to get them to accept a treatment. He remembers sayings about a hospital, of guidance to accept their fate on earth and move on, either forever, or to get ready to come back.

Would he come back? Maybe he could be Seyeon’s baby or even Jimin’s. The thought of never seeing them again, to eat his brother’s delicious food or hear his laughs, to tickle his nieces and carry them around his shoulders (mostly Nari, because Eunjin was such a big girl now). To call Jimin three hundred times a day and lie on his lap while he runs his tiny cute fingers through his hair. To hear his cousin’s wisdom or see it, right there at the OR while they work together to save another life. To kiss his mom and dad on the cheek and taste his father’s strawberry cake or his mother’s jjajangmyeon. To hear his grandparents’ stories. To watch his mother and aunt bickering. To work side by side with amazing friends like Seyeon and Sora, or even to feel intimidate by the geniality of Dr. Choi.

The thought of never having the chance to feel Jeongguk’s lips against his, his hold on his body, to taste him, to feel his warmth.

It's awful.

He looks to his side. Yeontan whines a little, moving closer to Jeongguk’s neck where his hoodie has plenty of soft warm fabric for the little guy to get cozy in. He will miss Yeontan too.

With that he gets off the bed and walks to the look-out room. It’s still raining like crazy and actually, it’s evolving to a thunderstorm. He watches the sea, nothing like the calm blue infinity they had seen earlier. Now it’s violent and all-powerful, waves beginning and soon crashing. There’s lightning cutting the dark sky, the thunderous noise following. He looks back, to Jeongguk’s sleeping form.

Should he?

He jumps, falling back into the pool like he did earlier and walks towards the beach. It’s stupid, because he has no body to be hurt, but he wants a sign if he should bet his chips on this or if he should just accept and be taken.

If there was something else out there, listening to him, seeing what he was doing. The cosmos, the universe, aliens, gods and goddesses. Poseidon or Yemoja. “Tell me!” He yells, chest deep into the water. It’s weird, because for him it’s just like he is walking normally. He flinches when waves crash near him or on him, because they don’t affect him. It’s like he is walking on air (or inside water). And he can see, and it’s all dark, except when the lightning strikes and then there’s the light.

Maybe lightnings were the light all along.

Jeongguk kind of jumps awake, like he was flying and fell back into his body. Yeontan gets scared and barks, going back to lay on his hoodie. The rain seems to have subsided a lot, but it’s still drizzling. He looks around. Taehyung isn’t in the room. “Calm down, champ. Where’s your other daddy, huh?”

He gets out of bed, supporting Yeontan on his sleeping place with a hand as he goes down the stairs, calling for Taehyung. He is not on the first floor either. That’s weird. Did he go back to the hospital? He would have told him.

Still, he grabs his phone and searches for a text message from Jimin. Maybe he woke up and that’s why he vanished. Nothing. Jimin would have told him, right? Maybe they are all celebrating and he didn’t get the time. He sends him a text, asking for updates.

Takes Jimin five minutes to send one back simply saying: same. Following with another one telling him to try and talk to Taehyung’s brother. Last resort, say who he really is. Jeongguk knows Jimin means boyfriend, but in reality, he might have to tell Jin that Taehyung is here.

He goes out, looks in the car, around the patio, the pool, before looking at the beach. And sure enough, there was a body lying in the sand. He runs, getting closer to see that really is Taehyung and he seems to be asleep? “Fuck, Taehyung? Blondie? What the fuck happened?” He tries to touch him, but his hand goes through. He is still a ghost. How does one wake up a ghost? “Tae, please, could you just wake up?”

Yeontan turns his little head from Jeongguk’s neck and barks. Taehyung’s eyes open and he sits down quickly. “Shit! What happened?”

“That’s what I’m about to ask you.”

“I don’t know what happened. I was in the sea and then suddenly there was a light and now I woke up here.”

“You were in the sea?” He asks, shocked. “Why did you go to the sea in the middle of the rain?” They both realize that the rain persists and Yeontan is whining, so Jeongguk puts him inside his hoodie. “Let’s go home and we talk there.” They run back to the house and takes off his hoodie, puts Yeontan, who is mostly dry, in his playpen, giving him some food and water. “Are you cold, little dude?”

The dog does not even pay attention to him, gnawing on his little treat, lying on top of his little doll. He starts gathering his things, putting them away in the car, waiting for Taehyung to talk. The ghost seems a little scared and Jeongguk might be giving off his angry vibe again. “I’m a ghost, it’s not like I would have drowned.”

“Clearly, something could have happened.”

“Maybe it sent me back to my limbo place or heaven or whatever else it’s called. I just needed a sign that things will work, to see if I should pursue a way back or just give up and accept my fate.”

“You don’t know your fate. Taehyung, you and I almost crossed paths on a big night in my life, you took a thing I owned with you. Your non-meeting leaded me into a path that ended in tragedy, almost destroying me. Then, I find the item again. Now, we meet in far weirder circumstances, you think this is a coincidence? It’s not the umbrella, it’s us. Now, if the universe or whatever wants us together, why would they give me this time to you only to take you away?”

“As it turns out, probably not. I’m here, aren’t I?”

His questions go unanswered, because Jeongguk’s phone rings. He frowns when he sees the unknown number. “Hello? Who is this?”

“Mr. Jeon, it’s your realtor. I’m calling from my new number, lost my phone, it was a whole thing. But I come bearing good news. The apartment? It’s yours if you want it. They are willing to offer you a long-lease or even the opportunity to buy it.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s a sad story. The young man who lived there is in a coma, but the guy called me, because apparently the family is deciding to pull the plug. However, you get the apartment and they are willing to throw in most of the furniture and even the couch you like.”

“It’s a sure thing?”

“Almost, I’d say ninety-five percent or more.”

“Call me when it’s a done deal.” He tells her, his body frozen. He is still holding his phone when he notices Taehyung is eyeing him with curiosity. “They just offered me the apartment. I think they are doing it.”

“That sucks.”

“Oh, you think? Listen to me, blondie. This? Is not happening, you listening? We are going to go and talk to you brother and push some common sense into his head and we are going to put you back in your body and everything will be fine. And then, maybe, if you are good, I’ll kiss you to celebrate.”

“Oh, because suddenly you are the master in connecting body and soul? All of that, and you offer me a kiss? Do you think I would even want that?”

“Yes, and now we do this my way.”

Doing his ways turns out to be angrily driving in silence. Jeongguk is still mad at him for keeping him out of the loop on things and trying to die in a thunderstorm at sea as a ghost, but Taehyung respects him. He ends up riding in the backseat, keeping Yeontan company, since he is limited to this arrangement Jeongguk did so he would stay within this side of the seat. The puppy plays with his doll and chews his toy, before he is sleeping again. Still looks adorable though.

They are just outside of Seoul when Jeongguk speaks up again. “Give me some dirty on your brother.”

“What? You can’t blackmail him to keep me alive, Jeongguk. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. Also, Jin-hyung has no dirt on him and if he had, which I’m not confirming a thing, I can’t prove a thing, he is too sneaky.”

“Just something no one else would know.”

“I don’t know, he acts cool, but he was a big Star Wars geek in high school, he even had a lightsaber lamp in his room. Nah, that’s pretty cool. He was scouted to be an idol, no, everyone knows that.”

“It’s need to be something a little scandalous, that only you know and you never told you friend Jimin either, which might be hard to find and-”

“Oh, I got it. A week before his wedding, we went to this bar to celebrate the end of the Kim brothers reign or whatever, it was just an excuse for hyung to drink as he was nervous. And his ex-boyfriend, and maybe arguably the love of his life, showed up and they fought, but I caught them making out later. I never told another soul and I’m pretty sure neither did he.”

“That does it.”

Jin is living in this house that is awfully close to the one they went to in the beginning, where Taehyung’s mentor and friend lived (the same one where they read the number wrong and mistook her neighbor for Taehyung’s sugar daddy). After a quick stop to drop Yeontan at the apartment, they head there. The person that opens the door is Jihae, his baby-sitter. Jeongguk doesn’t waste time and introduces himself and asks for Kim Seokjin. “Hi, Mr. Kim is a bit indisposed, are you sure your matter can’t wait?”

“Unfortunately, no. It’s an urgent matter. It concerns his brother, Dr. Kim Taehyung.”

The girl huffs. “I was afraid you were going to say that. Nothing happened, right?”

“No.”

“Mr. Kim called me to spend the night with the girls. Last night must have been rough. He is in the kitchen.” She says, her smile a little concerned. She leaves them in the small living-room, where there is a kid’s table with little chair. Oh, the tea table. They look into the kitchen, only to see Seokjin curved in front of the oven, testing a batch of cookies.

“Shit.” He says, closing the oven with his foot and putting the tray on the counter. It is then that he notices Jeongguk. “Hey? You look familiar, do I know you?”

Jeongguk freezes. He looks at Taehyung, trying to find a way to ask if his brother is drunk without saying it. Taehyung just looks shocked. “Uh, I don’t think so, I just have one of those faces. I’m Jeongguk.”

“Okay. Are you a stripper, Jeongguk?” He asks and Jeongguk chokes on his own spit. “I went into a wild ride yesterday and I can’t be trusted with my phone while that drunk. I’m very lucky I didn’t call my ex-boyfriend's or something.”

“I’m not. Actually, I came here to talk to you- are you okay?” He asks, when Jin grabs his head and moans.

“Yes, I just had a bit too much to drink last night. I’m a father, so that means I’m a lightweight now. Maybe a horrible father, because I drank with my two kids in the house. I haven’t slept all night, I drained the whiskey bottle and baked two cakes, one pie and five batches of cookies.” He grabs a jar that is filled with cookies. “Want one?”

“I’m okay.” Jeongguk assures him. “I came here to-”

“You know, I always bake when I’m stressed, which is weird, because I love baking. It comes from the times where I used to watch my father baking. You know, my mother is a great cook, but the sweets were always made by my father. For some reason, mother always missed the timing or the hand. When I was little, they bought me one of those children’s oven and I would bake, based on what I saw on TV or read in recipe books. I was about eleven when I became tired of eating my barely hot raw dough and attempted to use the oven alone and almost burned my eyebrows off.”

“That’s a really funny story. I think I will take that cookie.” Jeongguk says, unable to stop the man from his endless rant.

Three anecdotes and about seven cookies for Jeongguk later, he still hasn’t managed to bring up the subject. Taehyung is just watching them, amused. Jin frowns at the cookie he just ate. “That batch came out wrong, it’s gross. Tastes healthy.”

“Ah, speaking of health, could I talk to you real quick?”

“Sure.” He says, sipping his drink, which Jeongguk hopes is iced tea, but is pretty sure it’s not.

“I’m here to talk about your brother. Dr. Kim?” He starts and the mood changes the second he mentions Taehyung. Seokjin stands up a little straighter and downs the rest of his tea (not tea).

“What about him? Who are you?”

“I will explain, but it might sound a little odd and be hard to believe, but-”

“Daddy! DADDY! Jihae-unnie said you were disinposed.” They hear a voice and soon two little girls are one the living room. Eunjin is talking to her father. “She told us to wait, but it’s tea time and Mrs. Rabbit is hungry. Where’s the cookies?”

Jihae appears, an apologetic expression on her face. “I tried to stop them.”

Seokjin grimaces, his head pounding, but he goes to the living room and hugs his kids. “Sorry, little bugs. Yes, daddy will give you cookies, sit down at your chairs, already? We have a visitor.”

Jeongguk feels something pulling at his hand. “Hi, you pretty.” He hears the little girl say, her words a little muddled. “Want tea?” She is pulling him by the hand to sit down at the small table. He smiles at her and nods, sitting on the chair, but keeping his wait on his limbs.

“Thank you, sweetie.”

Taehyung coos and suddenly Nari turns and looks right at him, before she goes and grabs four plates. Can she see him? She sets the table. “There’s only three, dummy.”

“Eunjin! Don’t call your sister a dummy, please.” Seokjin tells her.

“No.” Nari says and sets four cookies into the plates, giggling as she looks back at Taehyung. “Four.”

Seokjin drinks a whole glass of water and grabs some pills from the cabinet. “I’m sorry, Jeongguk, please tell me what you wanted to say.”

“Don’t talk about me as a ghost in front of them. Just wait. Lie to him, tell him you-”

“We worked together.”

“What? There’s no way you can pass off as a doctor.” Taehyung complains.

“I mean, we worked together during my illness. I was his patient. I had-” What the hell, he doesn’t know any diseases. Would Jin know if he made one up? “Meningitis! Uh, spiral meningitis, very dangerous, in fact.”

“Oh, my God! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Taehyung frowns. “Spiral meningitis? That’s not even a disease.”

“Oh, no. I’m fine now. That’s why I’m here. No one believed I would survive, you know. But Taehyung, he never gave up, not even for a second. After the treatment, I went back to work, no pain, full mobility. I wanted to thank him, somehow and then I learned of the accident. That’s why I’m here.”

Seokjin is smiling. That’s his baby brother, the angel. “That sounds like him. I’m sorry you couldn’t thank him. Why are you telling me this?”

Nari looks at Taehyung again. “Cookie bear?”

“Nari, you see me, right?” He asks her, but the two-year-old is too busy munching on her cookie.

Jeongguk is telling Jin about how he wants to be the same for Taehyung, “I know it’s not my place, but I think if anyone deserves a second chance, it’s him. I can even call in for a specialist- I don’t know. Please, just wait a little longer, he will come back. I’m begging you.”

Seokjin has tears in his eyes. “That was so sweet of you to say. But I can’t do that. It’s too late.”

Taehyung gets up. “Hyung? What did you do?”

“You see, yesterday, my mother felt really sick when we visited, it’s taking such a toll on her. We were there when Dr. Lee performed some tests. He is so unresponsive, it’s almost like he is not there anymore.”

“I’m not there, I’m here! Hyung, please, why can’t you feel me?”

“We came back home and we decided to sign the papers. They went to their hotel room and got back to Daegu today, to warn our grandparents and the rest of the family. Yesterday, I had such a huge fight with another relative. I didn’t tell them yet; we will tell everyone as soon as my parents get there. I will warn people here. They left the papers at the hospital today and we are terminating life-support tomorrow, at two. The girls will be at school, it’s been such a hard time for them, for all of us. I’m sure that it’s hard for him as well. He was so active.”

“I understand that, I really do. I’ve been through this kind of pain. But I’m thinking you are making a huge mistake here, because I really believe-”

“It’s for the best, believe me. Look, all my life I thought I knew what was the best for Taehyung. I coddled him too much, I sometimes ate his vegetables when our parents weren’t paying attention. I told him what he should wear, what things he should or shouldn’t do, how to make friends and I even tried to choose the men he should date. I always doubted he knew the best, because he was still my baby bear. But truth is, I’m out of my league here, he is the doctor and that’s what he wanted. This is the last thing he is asking me to do it his way and even thought it hurts me and the people I love, I will respect his wish, his choice, for the first time of my life.” He starts crying as soon as he is done. “Maybe this way, I might end up being less of an overbearing brother.”

Taehyung is crying with him. “Oh, hyung. You always were the most amazing brother and you doing what I asked, I could never blame you for that.”

Jeongguk disagrees. Sure, Seokjin is not to blame, but he doesn’t have all the info. “Look, I didn’t want to tell you this way, but you are wrong. Taehyung is here, right next to me, right now.”

“Jeon! What are you doing?”

“Hey, blondie. Let me do this, we both agreed it was my way.” He shuts him up. “Seokjin-ssi, I don’t know how or why, but I can see and talk to your brother. It’s crazy, but also true. He is here and he will explain to you and I’ll translate, act as a vessel.”

Jin looks at him. “Just a minute.” He tells Jeongguk. “Eunjin, I’m feeling like we should go to the park and eat that treat you guys love, so why don’t you take your sister to see Jihae-unnie and get ready, both of you? Daddy needs to finish his meeting here. Nari, go with your sister.”

Taehyung looked dumbfounded. “Did it work?”

Jeongguk nods. “See, I told you I could get through to him.”

“Right, so we need to go straight to the hospital and try to find a way to annul that damn document he signed, but wow, you did it.” Taehyung wanted to hug him and he held, and they both hold themselves straight. They were so happy that they didn’t notice Seokjin watching as the girls disappeared in the hallway and going back to the kitchen.

“Get the hell out of here, you freak!” He yells, with this huge Chinese cleaver. Jeongguk and Taehyung jumped apart, the man falling to the floor.

“I’m telling the truth.”

“Are you crazy? Who are you? I’ve seen you before somewhere, I know it.”

“I just know your brother, he is here, you have to believe me.” Jeongguk tries to argue, but the man is pointing a really sharp weapon at him that could probably chop off his head or something.

“Oh, my God, tell him about Mimi.” Taehyung tells him. “Do something.”

Jeongguk nods, getting up. “You’re right.” He looks at Seokjin, serious expression. “I know about Mimi. Don’t you know his real name blondie?” He asks Taehyung, felling a little foolish.

Taehyung shakes his head. Jin frowns. “What?”

“I know what you did with Mimi, the week before your wedding, at the bar, you kissed him. Yeah, I know. I’ll tell everyone.” Maybe he should have said it less threatening, but he is being held at knife-point.

Seokjin looks shocked and then he yells. “Who are you? How do you know that? I will kill you!” He screams, going towards Jeongguk, who decides it’s a good time to run. He gets out of the house and jumps into his car, Seokjin stopping at the door.

Taehyung follows, stills incredulous. “That was a disaster.”

Jeongguk just glares at him.

Inside, Seokjin still finds hard to breathe. That was scary. Who was that guy? He looked a little familiar, but his still buzzed mind couldn’t make any connections. Still, he goes to the girls’ room, seeing them showing their clothes to Jihae. Nari looks up and waves at him.

“Daddy, visitors leave?”

“Yes, baby, they left.”

“Oh, wanted uncle bear to see my dress.” She pouts, before she goes to Jihae, asking for pigtails.

Uncle bear?

They are watching people at the park. “Your brother must be like you. Skeptical.”

“He is a father, a guy comes claiming to see spirits, he has to protect his kids. Also, what are the chances a guy he’s never seen before is in communication with his comatose brother?”

“Not very high, I guess. But I thought he would be just looking for an excuse to have a little more hope. I guess my people skills need a bit of work. I was always a little awkward, but I had gotten better because of my job. He is a good father, though. He was drunk in the morning, but at least he baked them cookies and called for the baby-sitter to watch them as he drank. He is in this alone now.”

“Yeah. I mean, he always was a more present father than his ex-husband. Even when he started working occasionally in some parties and with the restaurant now. I think I would have liked to be a father.” He says, remembering how much he liked being with his little nieces.

“You would be a good father.” Jeongguk assures him.

“Yeah, well, I guess we will never know.”

“That’s ridiculous, blondie. That can’t be the end.”

Taehyung snorts. “Blondie... You will never give up, huh?”

“Of course I won’t! Wait, you mean the nicknames? I think you like them, Tete.”

“Maybe it’s growing on me.”

“I said to you that I don’t intend to lose you, Taehyung. I was serious then, I meant it. So, we better find a way. I can talk to your other hospital friends. Your mentor seems reasonable or even that asshole doctor.”

“Mina? Sora? What? You going to a veteran surgeon and say that her colleague is beside him in spirit and doesn’t want to die? That’s not going to work, Jeon.”

He picks up his phone from his pocket. “I can text Jimin, right now. Say that the papers are already sign, we can steal them or even-”

“No! You can’t tell Jimin before Jin has the chance to. It will create a fight within my family and I don’t want that, they need each other. Also, you are going to put Jimin in trouble, because he will probably steal something and yeah. I think we should accept that I wasn’t meant to survive in the first place and you probably needed to learn something.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“There’s nothing else, Jeongguk. Give up. We’ve done everything, just-”

“Not everything. Come with me.” He says, running away and Taehyung scoffs. As he could do anything else besides following Jeongguk. Isn't that what he had been doing for a month now?

They end up in this little bookstore that Taehyung has never gone to. But when they get inside and Jeongguk yells: “Hoseok!” Taehyung sure does recognize the smiley boy who could sort of talk to him and apparently with all kinds of spirits.

“Dude! Is the spirit with you? You can't bring that thing in here, bro. It’s not good for business.” Hoseok asks when he feels Taehyung’s presence. “Excuse me, sir. This is a store for the living.”

“Uh, sorry for that... but he is alive, remember?”

“Yeah, and while that's sweet, I see nobody here right now. The spirit's presence disrupts my store, and my clients. I have a lot of people here who are more sensitive to these kind of things.”

"Look, sorry and all. But remember how we found out that he is a doctor who’s been in a car accident that left him in a coma and he couldn't stick to his body and you said you were going to help us and do research?" Hoseok nods. "Well, turns out that now his family is going to take him off life-support. Tomorrow. We got no time.”

“Not so sweet, then. I did the research, but I wasn’t finding much. Now, knowing he's in a coma... doesn’t change a lot. The spirit is known to travel, even when we sleep, however, he is supposed to go back to the body. I don’t know why that’s happening with your doctor. You sound worried though, are you guys socializing now?”

Jeongguk chuckles, looking at Taehyung. “Uh, we acclimated, developed some emotions and comradery.”

“Yeah, I see it. I’m fact I’m sensing some seriously intense feelings homeboy has got for you, bro.” Hoseok tells him, giving him a thumbs up.

He smirks. “Really?”

“No, I don’t. Stop saying nonsense, weird sunny boy.” Taehyung huffs.

“Uh, major red aura. Somebody is embarrassed.” He sings the last part.

“I am not! Can we focus here? I’m trying not to die.” He says, hoping they are going to stop talking about these alleged intense feelings.

“OK.” Jeongguk says, trying to hold his laugh. As if he doesn’t know that. “Hoseok, c’mon man. Isn’t there some spells, chants, charms, prayers, electric shock or some other way to get his spirit back into his body?

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Woah, bro. You are not asking the right question, c’mon, think a little. You know, I have a gift, that I received from the higher beings from another plane. I didn’t ask for it, but I have it. I can see people’s energy, feel their emotions and I can sense these things, ghost or spirits, or whatever else you want to call them. Whatever they had to do it here, it’s their unfinish business, I have nothing to do with it. Your little doctor there has some of his own.”

“So do you think I have the gift?”

Hoseok guffaws. “Please, dude, you are hilarious. You definitely don’t have it, Jeongguk. Look at you. You are a total civilian.”

“But if I don’t have it, why the fuck am I the only person that can see and talk to him when no one else, not even his brother and best friend, can?” He asks, impatient. Hoseok is too enigmatic sometimes.

“Exactly.”

“Exactly what, for fuck’s sake, dude?”

“That’s the right question, bro.”

Jeongguk is a little pissed when they get to the apartment. This day was all hell. Still, he grabs little Tannie and holds him in his arms as he moves through the living room and sits on the bench under the window, looking at his spiritual book. “What nonsense was he spewing? I feel like it’s right in the tip of our tongues, right in front of our eyes. I just can’t grab it. Everything is so frustrating.

“I know. How to solve an unsolvable puzzle. Everything feels like it’s impossible in the first place, but instead, it’s real. I know it is, what we feel and what we do.”

“I feel like nothing is impossible anymore. It’s too much. You had my umbrella for years, but we never crossed paths. Then you almost die and we do. Why did I move here to your apartment in the first place? The flyer literally flew in my face. Why can I see you when no one else can? Why that guy collapsed when we were at that restaurant? We were right at the door to leave. It all seems connected. Too much for just coincidence.”

Jeongguk starts moving his books and research from the time he wanted to get rid of Taehyung, which seems like a lifetime ago. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for something to help us.” He tells Taehyung, lie it was obvious. He clearly is not taking this seriously. He picks up the book Hoseok gave him, searching for some key-word or anything that can catch his attention. “Oh, the author lives in Seoul. Maybe we could go there and-”

“Jeongguk, what is this?” Taehyung asks him, pointing at the picture frame he had stolen from his room. Now that’s just great. “It’s my picture, the one from the practice test for the KMLE.”

“Yeah...” He scratches his head. “Shit, don’t get mad, I- when you said you wanted to stay, I never thought you would have wanted to come back or really cared about me, at all. So, I kind of stole that picture from your room, because I wanted to be able to remember your face, to see it, even if I never saw you again.”

Taehyung starts crying. “That’s sweet. You know, I never knew one of the most amazing experiences of my life would happen when I’m not really here. It’s just... so sad. I remember everything about my life and sure, there’s friends, there’s some relationships and some heartbreaks but it’s barely there. Ever since I became an adult, all I remember is working. And working and working. Trying so hard to be the best and to reach my goals. Thankfully, I have my family and my friends at the hospital, because I feel like my life ends there. I didn’t really live. Why didn’t I? All parties Jimin called me to, all culinary fairs Seokjin wanted to drag me to, I said no and hit the books. After I became a doctor, I said no and did a few extra hours on my shirt. Or an extra dozen hours. I missed Eunjin’s first birthday so I could have my first solo surgery. I didn’t go to so many cool things. And for what?”

“To help people. Take care of them, to save lives.”

“Including my own. I saved my life. For later. I just never thought there’s wouldn’t be a later.”

“That’s not true at all. You are getting out of this. I’m getting you out of this, Taehyung. How can you give up? You are still young. Actually, you are at the prime of your life, blondie. You can do all those things now; we just need to call this spirit writer dude here and find a way. I think maybe I can find out his name through his publisher or something.”

“No, Jeongguk. You can't. You won't. I just don’t want to spend my last night on earth crying and hoping some dude will answer his fan-mail and see this guy claiming he can see a ghost and go: oh, I’ll help. Just, please. I’m not fighting my fate anymore. I just want to be with you and I want-”

Jeongguk tries to swallow, his throat suddenly dry. He is not ready to be without him. “What do you want? I’ll do anything for you, Tete. I can buy a ticket to Paris right now and we can go see the Eiffel Tower and whatever else you want. Or some other beach, some place where it’s warm and the water is so translucid you can see your feet. Anything that- well, can be purchased by the black card I currently have.”

“As if there was any place who would deny your black card, rich boy.” Taehyung jokes, a little laugh getting in the way of his tears. “Oh, God, this is awkward. There’s this thing I want...”

“Anything...”

“Yeah... but we still have time later. Why don’t you cook for me? Also, I want you to draw me again, with me as a model this time. I can’t leave you without reminders of my pretty face, also, I want Tannie in the picture with me. You can’t let him forget me.”

“You can’t taste anything.”

“You will describe it to me and I have a good imagination. Also, you look very hot while you cook, all that concentration making art on a plate.”

“I’m glad you think so, because once I made art so pretty, it got stuck in the plate forever.”

Their afternoon is mellow. Jeongguk selects a playlist that suits both their tastes and they got to the roof, setting Yeontan’s playpen there and Taehyung poses on the edge, the view of the river behind him. Jeongguk draws like it’s the most rewarding work he will ever do, puts all the details, afraid that maybe he will forget them. He places Yeontan by his side, but he doesn’t stop there, he puts himself, a lot less detailed, almost like he is the ghost beside them.

He’s afraid he will be if things don’t work out.

Taehyung loves the drawing and they show it to the little dog, who barks in approval. It’s nice, but something deep inside him yells he should be trying to find a way to keep this man in his life.

The sun is almost setting and Jeongguk decides to go get some groceries for the dinner he is making. Taehyung stays at the apartment and plays with the puppy and when Jeongguk is back, they both go to the kitchen to watch him cook. Yeontan barks every so often for a little treat or just some caresses from him, and Taehyung keeps asking him this really obvious questions and for a guy whose brother has a restaurant and has an apartment with a modern kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances, he knows nothing about cooking.

For dinner, he had decided to make some meat and a wine-based sauce and some delicious cheese stuffed pasta shells. Something that looks and smells amazing, fancy enough to be worthy of Taehyung.

He sets the table for two, with some candles and he dims the light. They both seat together and he describes everything, from the smell, to the taste and how they fill against his tongue. Taehyung hums, eyes closed with his adorable smile plastered on his beautiful face.

At the end, they dance. He asks and Taehyung looks at him like a puppy, worried it will bring up tough memories. But Jeongguk feels like dancing. They start goofy, per Taehyung’s request, but then the song changes, some old thing Taehyung had insisted he added to the playlist and Jeongguk’s signals him closer and he pretends that he his touching him, down at his waist and searching for his hand.

They dance the whole song without breaking their gaze, eyes unmoving, fixated on each other. He almost feels the touch, and his breath, his warmth. Taehyung closes his eyes and smile, before opening them again and they burn differently. “There’s still that other thing I wanted; I think it’s time.”

“Anything.”

“It’s good the puppy is sleeping.”

“Oh yeah? Why?”

“Take me to our bedroom, Jeongguk.” Taehyung whispers, and a shiver runs up Jeongguk’s spine and he trembles. He must look shocked, because Taehyung laughs. “C’mon, don’t keep me waiting.”

He nods, going first and he might stumble on his own feet, but recovers gracefully, despites the giggles behind him. It doesn’t take long until they are there and Taehyung smirks at him and asks him to close the door. “Do you want me to take my clothes off too or something?” Jeongguk questions the little seductress in front of him.

“If you want, you can’t take your shirt off. But it’s not needed just yet.” The devil tells him and he arches his brow. Just yet? What exactly is he planning and will Jeongguk live through it?

They end up lying in bed together, facing each other and Taehyung is looking at him so nervously, it’s endearing. “What are you nervous for? I can’t even touch you.”

“I think that’s why I’m nervous, I think, because you can’t really touch me.” He whispers back, they are close, but they are not close enough to touch (if they could). That makes him smile, the thought that Taehyung craves his touch just as much as he craves the opportunity to do it.

“Why?”

“Because- I never felt a touch like yours.”

Jeongguk laughs. “You never felt my touch, blondie.”

“I did! At the hospital, remember? When you touched my cheek and held my hand, I felt it. My spirit did, and it burned me, but at the same time, it soothed me, it was electrical, a tingle against my skin. I don’t know why or how, because no other touch made me feel. I think... that maybe if you could really touch me, something would change, I might wake up from all of this.”

Jeongguk answers by positioning his hand almost against his cheek and Taehyung leans into the touch, eyes closing, his long lashes brushing his cheeks. “I can almost feel that.”

“Me too.” Taehyung says and they both move closer. “I want more.”

“Yeah.” He nods, their faces getting closer. “Someone once told that the building up to a proper kiss, going into slowly, savoring the tension, the anticipation, your heart beating fast, waiting for the moment your lips will touch, it’s can be almost as amazing than the kiss itself.”

Taehyung nods, looking up, eyes sparkling with something that invites Jeongguk even closer and he might have already been touching if he was really there, and if feels amazing, because it’s what they can do. Still, it sucks, because leaves him wanting for more.

He waits a few minutes until he says it. “I hate this.”

Jeongguk opens his eyes. Taehyung is pouting and part of his wants to laugh, because he looks adorable, but another part wholeheartedly agrees. “You really want me to hold your hand that bad, huh?”

“Fuck holding hands, right now I’m thinking more along the lines of sucking you off.” He answers and Jeongguk coughs, because of course he is choking on his own spit. He never thought Mr. Major red aura would just come out and say it something like that. “What? I might have been busy and lonely, but I’m not a virgin or a prude.”

“I’m aware of that, blondie. I just didn’t think you would just come out and say it.” They never had overtly sexual conversations before. Not that he hadn’t thought about it, in fact, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it, especially in the last days where they got closer and shared a bed. “Do you want to play doctor with me?”

The glare he receives is adorable. “Don’t say things like that in my presence, Jeon.”

“I’ve been told I’m good in prostate exams.”

The laugh Taehyung lets out is kind of ugly. “Bitch, you wouldn’t be able to do a good prostate exam even if I was there to guide you through it. Got squeamish with a little blood on an unconscious patient, try dealing with extremely homophobic man who would rather die than have something up his ass. You probably couldn’t find something wrong with a prostate even with a map and several descriptions on your side. I’ve done hundreds of those on my rotations, believe me, you know nothing.”

“I might not be good in finding something wrong with it, but I’m quite practiced in finding it. I think I could find yours with no problem.” He winks and Taehyung literally scoffs at him.

“Please, don’t talk about prostate exams if you are trying to seduce me. I’ll show you a prostate exam. Lord, why do I like you? You’re an idiot.”

“So, you do like me. Hoseok was right then, you have some intense feelings coming my way?” He asks just to be a little shit. Taehyung is clearly uncomfortable sharing that with him (with the exception of moments where both of them are scared of losing each other forever). “I like you so much, blondie. It’s probably ridiculous to point the amount.”

“I wished we found each other on that party, you know? Even if it was just for one night, both of us buzzed from dancing and drinking at the party. Maybe you could show your ex-boyfriend what he just lost and fuck me in your bedroom for everybody to hear.”

“Do you have a button you press to suddenly start talking dirty?”

Jeongguk just blinks and Taehyung is sitting on his heels, comfortably situated between his legs. He looks pretty as always, but his eyes are dark. “How good is your imagination?”

Fuck. “Probably not as good as it would be to have you here with me.”

“Take off your clothes, Jeongguk.” Taehyung orders, his voice much lower than usual, and the command rushes all his blood down his body so fast, his head feels a little light. But he obeys, wanting to see where this is going. His shirt is the first to go, flying to the floor. Taehyung’s gaze burns him a bit, he looks so sexy, biting his lower lick and staring at Jeongguk’s abs, that weren’t as defined as they could, because he had been lazy and consumed a lot beer lately, but it was still impressive. His tattoos up his arm to his shoulder, some continuing down his ribs. “You are so hot, if I was here, I would trace each line with my tongue, leave little kisses down your abdomen.”

“Yeah?” He asks, his head pressing backwards into the pillow, his eyes closing so he can imagine it, chase the feeling. “What else?”

“Open your pants, big boy.” Taehyung whispers and when Jeongguk opens his eyes, he sees his face so close. It’s almost a reflex, undoing the buttons and shimming his pants down his thighs. “Your thighs are so nice, I wish I was sitting on them, holding you down as my hands explored your body. I’ve seen you looking at my hands, how long my fingers are. I’d bet they would feel nice trailing down your skin, feeling the ridges of your muscles, pressing them just right as I moved down, fingertips playing with the band of your underwear. They are very tight, you know. All those showers you took, getting them wet, left almost nothing to the imagination. You are a blessed one, aren’t you? And you weren’t even hard.”

Jesus. He moans, unashamedly, his hips moving upward as if to chase his touch. “You are- making me go crazy.”

“I’m glad I have that power over you. You can take them off now, all the way, along with the pants, at least, let me see you properly this time.” Jeongguk nods, like a good boy. He did say he would do anything for the beautiful man in front of him. He gets his boxer shorts down and kick them off along with his pants. Taehyung is staring at him, licking his lips. “Do you have lube or something?”

Shit. “I might, uh, on the first drawer.” He has a high sexual drive and no wish to see other people, so usually he has to take care of things himself. He remembers buying some after he left Yoongi’s place (as if he could jerk off on his couch without dying of embarrassment). Luckly, there it is.

“That’s nice, put some on your palm, make it wet, you know. How it would feel if I had my mouth on you. That would be a challenge, you see, it’s been a while for me, but I always was a bit of a size queen. Always liked big guys to carry me and press me against walls, feeling big and hard against me, like you would feel now if you had me on your lap.” He might be trembling a bit, as he warms the lube in his palm, high on Taehyung’s words. “Do it as I say, please.”

“As you wish.” He mumbles.

“Press your thumb on the head, slowly putting your fingers around the shaft, not that much pressure yet. God, Jeongguk, if I could get my mouth on you, I would just suck on the head like a lollipop until I could taste you in my tongue. You can try and mimic that. I always like to please, so I would do what you told me, but I would love to just suck until you were shaking, your hips pressed on the mattress by my hands, because I know you would love to fuck my hot, little mouth, huh? Remember how you wished I would shut up when we met? Would you? Just shove your big dick in my mouth, your fingers digging in my hair, forcing myself to swallow you?”

“Fuck, Taehyung. Only if that’s what you wanted.”

“Always wanting to make me happy, right?” He tells and Jeongguk nods. “Keep your eyes closed, Gukkie. I wouldn’t mind, I would let you fuck my mouth, choking on your cock until I learned how to take it, to have you in the end of my throat, spit running down my chin. I would be good for you; would you like that? Would you tell me how good I am?”

“Of course, blondie. You are perfect for me.” How the fuck is he so turned on my just a voice and his own hand. Usually, it’s just a mechanical thing, just a release to easy up that pressure and then he goes to bed, but now he is about to explode. “My sweet Tete.”

“I am yours, right? Would you keep me if I was here?”

“Forever.”

“God, you feel would feel so heavy on my tongue. I always loved that you know? My jaw aching and my throat hurting, until my voice was all rasp and my lips were shiny and swollen. I’ve seen you looking at my lips too. I can tell you, they would be cherry head, stretched around you, as you thrusted in my mouth. I love that, I would be moaning, because it would feel so good, to heave you use me like this. Maybe I would be the one if my eyes closed then, on my knees for you, hands behind my back. Would you like that? Me right at your mercy, Jeongguk.”

He might come soon, which is ridiculous. He is pumping himself in firm grip and fast pace, but it’s almost like that has little to no impact on what he is feeling. “Yes, I would love that.”

“Me too, I always liked being used like that, you know? Being held down and just taking it, would you give me that?”

“Y-yes, Tae.”

“But would you go slow if I asked you to? Would you make love to me, pepper kisses on my face as we move together? I just want you so much, Jeongguk. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you.”

Jeongguk groans, his moves becoming erratic. “I would do anything for you, anything you wanted. All I want is to have you under me, moaning in my ear. You have such a beautiful voice, blondie, so smooth and deep, I want you to scream my name forever, until your voice fails, swallow all those little sounds. I want you to have you over me, riding me so hard, so free, your body arched as I fuck up into you. You are so pretty, so lovely, Tete. It's a miracle you appeared right in front of me.”

He hears Taehyung moans, little whimpers escaping now and he likes the sound of that. He sounds out of breath; even though he doesn’t need to breathe and it’s the sexiest sound he has ever heard. “Such pretty sounds you make, love. So needy, how long have you been wanting someone to take care of you?”

“So long, Gukkie!”

“Yeah, God. What I wouldn't do to be touching you right now. You skin felt so soft that day, blondie. So smooth and warm, that golden skin would feel even hotter when you are rocking against me, skin all wet and salty, I’m tasting you on my tongue, sucking on your slender neck, marking you up, so everyone can see I’m taking care of you, beautiful. I would run my hands all over your chest, feeling your heart beating under my palm. My fingers feel rough on your unblemished skin, all the work I’ve done with them, but you are so delicate, so silky. I would kiss your little tummy, nibble on your thighs.”

“Oh, God, yes, Gukkie.”

“Would you let me turn you around, blondie? See that tattoo for myself.”

He huffs. “It’s stupid.”

“I’d bet is sexy as hell. I’ve noticed your plump little ass under those pants since the beginning, how amazing it would be to have you bare in front of me, ass up for the taking. I would feel how supple it feels under my palms, kneading that flesh, sucking on your pretty tattoo. I would love your body, Tae, and I would show all that love, worship you all night until you are a trembling mess, begging me to let you come. How pretty you would be when you did. I wouldn’t stop, though. I bet you are so addictive; it wouldn’t be enough. We would spend days on this bed, until our need for each other would be satisfied. However, I can’t see myself getting enough of you. I might need an eternity.”

Taehyung whimpers. “I want that.”

“Yeah? You want eternity with me? Taehyung, you look like an angel that was sent to me, to take me out of darkness. I’d want you in my arms forever. Or under me, writhing against my body. I would get my mouth on you, my fingers, make you sob and call for my name. Call for me to be inside of you. To stretch you, make you feel so full, Tae.”

“Fuck, Jeongguk.” He yells and it goes straight to his cock. He is so close. “Open your eyes, love.”

He does as soon as Taehyung asks him too and he looks down, Taehyung’s face so near his cock, looking so wrecked, tears on his lashes, his body basically thrown on the bed and he comes, all over his stomach. Taehyung hums, licking his lips and Jeongguk knows exactly what he is thinking and shit, would he like that as well. They stared at each other for what it felt like a while, Jeongguk trying to get back to reality. His body is melted on the bed and his brain is swimming in endorphins. “Shit, that was good.”

“I think I just had an orgasm.” Taehyung says, chuckling. “Who knew ghost sex was a thing.”

“Yeah, maybe now we could have some ghost cuddles.” Jeongguk demands, pouting.

“Oh, you are clingy after coming. Who would have thought?” Taehyung jokes and Jeongguk just rolls his eyes. “We can cuddle, I’d love to. But first, you are going to clean that cum off your body, put on some clothes and open the door, because poor Tannie has been whining for a few minutes while you basked in your afterglow.”

Jeongguk frowns, but listen a few little puppy cries and claws against the door. “Speaking of clingy.”

“You are his savior, Gukkie. He loves you. Of course, he loves me more, but I can’t give him the cuddles he requires. Now, please, hurry, before he scratches the hell out of my door.”

“As you wish, blondie.” He says, Taehyung delicious giggle behind him as he gets up.

“You also have a nice ass, and I like this dragon on your back and the flowers.”

Jeongguk hums, putting on some sweats after he wiped his stomach off. When he opens the door, Yeontan jumps and runs towards the bed, whining when he obviously can’t climb, as the bed is huge and very tall. Jeongguk laughs, putting the puppy up and he immediately snuggles somewhere near Taehyung’s vicinity. “Hoseok will be pissed that our dog has more spirit powers than he has.”

Taehyung smiles. Our dog, his chest hurts. He loves this man. “This is the most amazing day of my life, you know.”

“Yeah, mine too.”

“Lie with us, Jeongguk.”

They lie, but they don’t sleep. Jeongguk stays up with him and they talk, with no difficult thoughts or fears showing. Taehyung is beaming at him, both of them completely enthralled in each other.

“I think I know what my unfinished business is.” He whispers and Jeongguk looks at him, eyes so vulnerable and honest.

“What?”

“It’s you.”

For him, it’s both heartwarming and heart wrenching. It’s hurts, to think that there’s chances Taehyung will be gone forever come morning, that he could die this very day. He can’t let that happen.

The sun is getting up when he sees both Tannie and his Tete sleeping. The spirit had said he couldn’t sleep, but something about today is different. He knows Taehyung thinks it’s because he will die, but Jeongguk has other plans. So, he rests too, just for a while.

When Taehyung wakes up, he his alone in bed. He was sleeping? Oh, God. Was this all a dream? Jeongguk? Yeontan? The coma? He panics, even though that would probably be good for him and he runs around the apartment, only to end up in the kitchen as Jeongguk feeds Tannie a tiny piece of meat. “You’re here, thank God.”

Jeongguk turns and looks at him and beams. He looks... transcendental, just so beautiful like the morning sun. His nose is scrunched and his laugh is melodic and Taehyung is relieved. He might be dying today, but he has seen this and lived with Jeongguk, even if it was for this tiny moment in time. “Where would I be?”

“I thought I had dreamed you. I’m glad that’s not that case.”

“Well, you better get ready, blondie. Because we have a busy day ahead of us.”

“What do you mean? It’s already noon, I’m dying in two hours.”

Jeongguk snorts. “Do you really think I would let you die? Especially after what happened yesterday? I cooked for you, Tete, I danced with you, we had sex. I’m not letting you out of my life. When we met, I told you that you were dead, but truth is, I was dead. And you brought me back and you made me want to live again. But that’s only truth if you are with me. So, I’m saving your life.”

Taehyung sighs. “How?”

“I’m going to steal your body.”

Jeongguk completely shushed his objections, ate his food and then drove Yeontan to a doggy day-care. As soon it was just them at the car, Taehyung tried to get his attention. “Are you out of your fucking mind? You can’t do this!”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Well, you will go to jail, for starters. And this will never work, so it will all be for nothing.”

“If something happens to you, do you think I care where I will be, blondie? I’m doing this and you can’t really stop me. At least, it will buy us some time.”

Taehyung is impatient. How can this man be so stubborn? He was ready to die, he has accepted his fate, he had the perfect last day. “The things you would have to know to even pull this off, Jeon-”

“You know all this, I’ll be doing. I called a rental place and got a van, you know the hospital, we will get you into that van and I’m going to take you somewhere. Maybe even the beach house. No one will find you and then I’m bringing you back. The medical shit, you will talk me through it, like you did with the pneumo thingie.”

They both stared at each other. “Fine, you wanna be an idiot and try this? You get that van and you will need an assistant... Someone with no morals.”

Jeongguk smiles.

Driving a van is wild. At least, that’s what he tells himself as they fly on the streets. Yoong is holding himself for dear life. “Man, I was so glad when you called, but then I kind of regret answering now. Where the fuck did you learn how to drive? Also, what are we even moving?”

Jeongguk looks at him. “Medical supplies.”

Taehyung screeches. “You didn’t tell him?” Jeongguk shushes him. “You have to tell him, Jeongguk. You know, he looks really familiar to me.”

“You saw him at the bar.”

Yoongi looks at him, confused. “Saw who at the bar?”

“What? Nothing, no one. I was just thinking out loud.” He lies to his friend.

“Why are we in such a hurry to go move medical supplies? What are we even doing there, I mean, why do you need medical supplies?” This questioning is not good.

“They are having a sale in hospital beds and I always wanted one.”

“What? Great, Jeon! Now you are going to become a bed potato?” Yoongi asks, a little unsure.

Taehyung scoffs. “You gotta tell this poor guy, Jeongguk. He is an accessory.”

Jeongguk knows. That’s why he figures that the less Yoongi knows, the better. He could tell the police he was coerced by his crazy friend or whatever. “Not yet.”

“Not yet what, Jeongguk-ah?"

“We are not there yet.” He says, before urging the van to go faster, they are almost at the hospital. Yoongi is looking at his weirdly.

“Jeongguk-ah... be honest with me. Don’t lie to hyung. Has your little imaginary friend come out to play and somehow made you do this?”

Jeongguk doesn’t bother answering and just goes to the internal parking lot with Taehyung’s guidance, shutting Yoongi up with speed.

He keeps walking, ignoring Yoongi’s questions until they reach the supply room Taehyung had told him about. “Alright, grab a cart.” The doctor says, already in full medical mode as Jeongguk just follow his orders. “You need a blood pressure cuff, and a portable ventilator, that yellow thing, and-”

Yoongi is done. “Hey! What the hell are you doing, Jeongguk? This isn't a sale, man! We are in a real hospital and probably stealing stuff, so I swear to God, black-belt or no, if you don’t tell me what is happening right now, I’m going to jump you and things are getting wild.”

Jeongguk stops and sighs. “Fine, hyung. I just knew that if I told you, you wouldn’t have come and I need your help, so please, listen to this with all the love you have for me.”

That is what Yoongi was fearing he’d say. “Do I even wanna hear this?”

“Hyung, my imaginary friend is not imaginary. He is the spirit of a guy that is in a coma in this very hospital. He is a doctor who was on an accident and they are about to take him off life-support. We need to take him to someplace safe.”

“I was right, I didn’t want to hear this. Are you seriously telling me this, Gguk-ah?" Yoongi looks like he is about to cry in rage, which is one of his most dangerous moods.

“I am.”

Taehyung interrupts, right beside Yoongi. “You should have told him earlier.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “He wouldn’t have believed me.”

“Does he believe you now?” Taehyung asks, looking around at the man in front of him.

“I had to bring him into the hospital, right? It’s hard to tell with him.” He tells Taehyung, right now, Yoongi looks like he might die of distaste.

“Jeongguk, listen to me. Let me take you to the psych ward. There are people who can help you. This person doesn’t exist and you are about to commit a crime.”

“There’s no time now. You are free to do that later. It’s already past one, he is going to be dead in less than an hour and if that happens, I’ll never forgive myself or you, for that matter. Please.”

“Just explain to him that we know this is hard to believe. That it’s a major stretch for him, he is a psychologist, right? A health professional.”

Jeongguk nods. “Taehyung is right behind you. He is telling you that he knows this is a stretch for you as a health professional.”

Yoongi chuckles. “Oh, does he? If he is really behind me right now, ask him what am I doing with my hand, how’s that sound? Rock, paper or scissors?” He closes his hand on a fist.

“Rock.” Taehyung tells Jeongguk.

“Rock.”

Yoongi frowns, changing it to scissors.

“Scissors.”

“It’s scissors, man.” Jeongguk tells him, who yelps and opens his hand. Taehyung tells Jeongguk. “Now it’s paper, there’s no way you are winning this.”

Yoongi does rock.

“Rock again.”

“Again with rock? That’s uninventive.” He mocks his friend, who clenches his jaw and flips Jeongguk off behind his back.

Taehyung gasps and frowns. “He is flipping me off.”

“The fuck? Are you flipping him off?”

Yoongi looks around and behind him. “How? I was flipping you off! Dammit.” He runs his hands through his black hair. “Okay, sometimes people with emotional and mental disturbances can have these psychic moments. This is a real phenomenon I’ve seen in the literature. But I’ll bite, even if he was real, do you know what you are risking for this guy?”

Jeongguk nods. “Yes.”

“Why would you even?”

Oh, that’s just lovely. Not how he had planned. Truth be told, he wanted to tell Taehyung that when he was back and in his arms. He takes a deep breath. “Because I love him. I love him.” He looks at Taehyung, who is frozen, but there’s a sign of a smile on his lips. “I do, it’s true. I love you, blondie. I’ve been wanting to say that to you since we went to the garden and the beach house.”

He smiles. “No one has ever said that to me before. I love you too.”

Jeongguk beams at him. Yoongi takes a step behind. It’s been years since he saw his friend smile like that, so free and light. “Really, you do?”

“Yes, you idiot.”

“I’m your idiot, right?”

Yoongi groans. “Right, let’s fucking do this before I change my mind or throw up.”

They end up with a gurney in the elevator. Taehyung smiles. “Jeongguk, please thank him.”

Jeongguk nods. “We are really grateful, Yoongi.”

Yoongi snorts. “I’m not doing this shit for you, Jeongguk.”

“Why else would you even do it?”

“Oh! Glad you asked. Because someday, trust me, I’m going to need help moving a body. And when that day comes, I don’t wanna hear any shit from you. Both of you. If anything sketchy happens, your lover ghost will be my personal doctor. You will owe me for life.”

“Sounds fair to me.” Taehyung shrugs. Jeongguk repeats it to his friend.

Yoongi nods. “Great.”

They had gotten themselves some white coats, so they looked pretty normal for the people in the hallways as they dragged the gurney. It didn’t take long for them to reach Taehyung’s room. “Okay, here goes nothing.” Jeongguk says and opens the door, only for them to be met with Jimin, who is sitting in a chair near Taehyung, looking at the door.

He looks at them, brow raised. “Well, hello, Jeongguk.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen when he sees Jimin’s light green scrubs and his badge. “Fuck, Jeon Jeongguk. Does this guy work here? We are so going to jail.”

“He is Taehyung’s best friend. Uh, hi Jimin.” He greets him awkwardly. “There’s a good explanation for all of this somehow.”

“What are you doing here, Jeongguk?” His face is unreadable and he has his legs crossed, hand on his knee as he bounces his leg. “With a gurney no less.”

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, before he looks at Taehyung, to ask him what they should do. “What now, blondie?”

Taehyung looks at his best friend. “I trust him, tell him the truth. If there’s someone who will take this news as something good and help us without much questioning it will be him.”

He sure hopes so, because they don’t have much time. “I lied to you, Jimin-ssi. I didn’t actually meet Taehyung as his neighbor. I’m actually renting his apartment now, that’s how I became aware of him and all this situation.”

Jimin nods. “Ah, the apartment. You know, I’ve been thinking about that. Jin told us yesterday that they had decided to sign the papers and some guy had gone to see him. Told he was Tae’s patient with spiral meningitis, nice one, by the way. That’s not the weird part, the weird part was that he told Jin that he could see Taehyung and somehow even managed to confuse his daughter’s little head, because she said she had saw Tae as well. I’m sure that guy was you, by the description. Since the news, I haven’t left Taehyung’s side, somehow, I had a feeling I would be seeing you. You are trying to save him, why?”

Again, with the tough questions, but he had his answer. “Because I love him. I know I might sound crazy to you or everyone else, for that matter. I never met him before the accident. I did it- while he was in here, but his soul or spirit, whatever you want to call it, came to me. At the apartment. I can see him, can talk to him. I swear to you. He is here right now.”

Jimin bites the inside of his cheek and nods. “Prove it.”

That he can do. He looks at Taehyung. “What do you want to know?”

“I told Taehyung something, but not many people know. In fact, the three other people that do know that wouldn’t have told you, so I’m pretty sure that if you know that... I just don’t know if he would have heard it. Can his spirit hear everything it is said here?”

“Not exactly. When he is with me, he is not connected with his body. In fact, at first, he didn’t even remember who he was. We only knew his name because of his mug, it took us some digging to get here. But he spent a few days with his body.”

Taehyung calls for Jeongguk. “I know what he is talking about. He told me that first day, when you told him you were my boyfriend. He is going to be a dad.”

“Oh, he says you told him you are going to be a dad. Congratulations.”

Jimin’s eyes water and he sobs. “You are here, Taehyungie?”

Taehyung walks closer to his best friend, trying to hug him, to show him that he was there and Jimin had to feel something. “Yes, Minie. I’m here.”

Jimin cries for a few moments. Jeongguk and Yoongi look at each other, no sure what to do. “Are you okay, Jimin-ssi? Do you need a minute or some water?” His friend asks, already a little worried.

“I’m fine, it’s just- I've waited for some confirmation for so long.” He takes a deep breath. “Now, what do you guys are going to do? You are planning on what? Stealing him?” He chuckles, but stops when the two other men don’t follow him. “Oh, sweet.”

“It’s the only thing I could think of. Not ideal, but I need some time to figure out how to bring him back to his body. We tried, but it’s like there’s no connection. Please, I’m just- don't rat us out.”

“I won’t. I’m helping you guys.” He tells them. “There’s no way I’m letting him get away from me. I knew he must have been alive, his vitals showed some subtle changes, yesterday I was tracking his brain activity, because I needed something, anything, and it went a little crazy for a while, heartbeats up. It had to mean something.”

“Oh, God.”

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung and laughs. “Was that last night?” Jimin nods. “Oh, I think I know what happened, you see, we had a date last night, I think he got a little too excited. “

“Jeon! I swear to God.” Taehyung hisses at him and he just laughs more.

Yoongi and Jimin frown. "What do you mean date? Oh god, Jeongguk-ah! I really don’t need to be hearing about these things. We are already in a complicated situation here that you might be mid-psychosis. I really don’t need to be hearing about you having sex with ghosts.”

Jimin laughs. “So you had sex with Tae?”

Jeongguk shrugs, ignoring Yoongi’s miserable expression and Taehyung’s glare. “Guess he literally had the orgasm he told me about.”

Yoongi groans. “I’m pretending this conversation never happened. Let's do this at once, shall we?” They all nod, Jeongguk taking a deep breath. Things are looking up and he is so relieved. They get the gurney close and he gestures to Yoongi to help him with Taehyung. His friend gets closer, taking a look at the man lying down the hospital bed and yelps. “Fuck, oh, my God, Jeongguk-ah.”

“Yeah, I know, hyung. He is the prettiest, isn’t he?”

Taehyung laughs. “That’s sweet, Gukkie. But we gotta get moving.”

“No. That's not it. That's him.” His friend points to Taehyung’s sleeping form. “This is the guy I set you up with that night, the date you decided not to go at the last minute. You stood him up.”

Jeongguk gasps, completely incredulous. “I was going to meet Taehyung that night?”

“Yes, but he didn’t make it either, because he got into an accident.” He tells all of them.

Jeongguk and Taehyung look at each other. “It was you.” The blond says, a smile on his lips.

“Is that it? Is that why I can see you?” He knew it. They were meant to be, it was destiny, all those times, those almost meetings.

The smile on Taehyung’s lips gets huge. “I can’t believe I was supposed to meet you all along.”

“Of course we were supposed to meet, blondie. We were made for each other.”

Jimin and Yoongi look at each other, still a little awkward with the one-sided conversations Jeongguk has. Yoongi scoffs. “Yeah, you son of a bitch. I’ve been saying this for nearly a decade. I’ve tried to set him up with him in college too. At that stupid party. We always knew you would be good together.”

Jeongguk frowns. The party? His party? The one Taehyung was at, when he stole Jeongguk’s umbrella? That’s just weird. “We? Who's we? How did you know him, hyung?”

“I am friends with his brother, we used to go out. You even met him once a long time ago.”

His brother? Jin? Taehyung’s brother was Yoongi’s Jin?

“Oh, my God, Jeongguk! I knew he looked familiar, that's Mimi!” Taehyung points at his friend, surprise all over his price. “I can’t believe this.”

“Yoongi is Mimi?” He asks Taehyung, but that only results in his friend jumping and yelping.

“Gah! What did you just say? Woah, no one has called me Mimi since college, that damn nickname Seokjin gave me. I swear to God, if you call me that again...”

“Yeah, he is older and looks angrier, but I’m pretty sure that’s him.” Taehyung tells him. “Min Yoongi, Seokjin’s boyfriend.”

“Wait a minute! Is he the one that made out with Seokjin at that bar the week before his wedding?”

Yoongi jumps again, looking around him. “How the fuck do you know that? No one knows that!”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, impatient. “I told you already, hyung! It’s Taehyung!” He gestures at the blond, forgetting that no one else can see him.

Yoongi gets a lot paler. “Oh, dear lord, he is really here, isn't he? Where?”

“I fucking told you, you dick.”

“Hey...”

“You dick, hyung.”

Yoongi looks at the bed. “Well, let's fucking get him on that gurney, because there's no way I'm letting Jin’s baby bear get killed, come on. Let's go.”

Jimin is getting everything ready, turning on the equipment they stole and setting it up, ready to be used, while Yoongi and Jeongguk lift his body from the bed and place him on the gurney. He is there on Jeongguk's arms and he can feel his hold and feels safe. As soon as he is lying on the gurney, they finish plugging him to the machines. Everything looks perfect and they are ready to move, when they hear the door opening.

A voice is heard from outside. “Yes, I'm here already.”

“Oh, my God, it's Mina.” Taehyung tells Jeongguk.

“That asshole doctor? She is super early; we still have like twenty minutes before it’s time. Why is she here already?”

Jimin hisses. “That bitch. I will deal with her.” They hear him go out. “What the fuck do you think you are doing here?”

Yoongi looks at Jeongguk, completely shocked. Yeah, Jimin can be scary.

“You know very well that we are unplugging the life-support today, nurse Park. I'm very sorry if you disagree, but we have to respect what the family wishes.” She tells him. Jimin scoffs.

“Family wishes say that he is to be taken off life-support at two. It’s not two yet, so you are not needed here. I swear to you, right now, that if I see you in this hallway any minute before two, I will drag you away by your hair. Get the fuck away from here. I'm talking to my best friend.”

“We are ready, Jimin-ssi. As soon as the brother shows, we will do it. I’ve heard from the reception desk that he is coming.” Mina warns him, who growls. Scary shit, if Jeongguk was that girl, he would be getting the fuck away.

“I thought I was clear. I won't hesitate to call Namjoon here, Dr. Lee. And believe me, I have way more influence on him than your kissing ass policy could get you. Taehyung is his cousin, it’s not just any patient in here. And we, as his friends and family, decided that we would say our goodbyes to him before two. He won’t like you rounding this room like a vulture, so get away.”

She clicks her tongue. “Very well. Say your goodbyes. I will be back.”

“Sadly.” Jimin says as she gets away from the room, her heels echoing against the floor. After a little while, he enters the room. “I will be glad to see her go once the spot goes to its rightful owner.”

They start moving the gurney, but as soon as they get to the next hallway, there's another doctor from the team that will be present at the unplugging. It’s Dr. Gwan, the neurologist that is supposed to perform the last round of tests. He is Mina’s friend. Taehyung guesses he must have gotten an attending position recently, because Dr. Jung was thinking about retiring. He probably was the guy on the phone with Mina that day he saw her in her office.

“Hello, sir, what are you doing? Is this Dr. Kim, he is to be-”

Jeongguk jumps in front of him. “Hello back. I am aware. Let me introduce myself, I am Dr. Jeon.”

He has no idea why he said that, but Taehyung is by his side. “Quick thinking, that was great, Jeongguk. Say that you are...”

“I'm a special consultant from the Busan National University Hospital. Dr Choi asked for me to come as a specialist, for a final evaluation of the patient. Nurse Park related me that some things occurred in the last twenty-four hours regarding his brain activity.” He says to the man, repeating what Taehyung is telling him. He has no idea what he’s saying, but the man seems to be paying attention. “We chose to performed an MRI on the patient prior to decision. There's been some new evidence in a few recent studies that supports that full functionally can be restored.”

“Who is we?” The man asks Jeongguk, still not quite buying.

“Tell him you have a team downstairs.”

“Me and my team from the Neurology Department in Busan, and a few residents. We’ve been keeping up with the case. They are downstairs with the authorization from Dr. Choi. We came here to start moving the patient to the MRI room and try and see which tests we should perform as well.”

“This is a first, I wasn’t aware that was going to happen. Dr. Lee has just asked me to meet her at the patient’s room to start the procedure as soon as the family member arrives.”

“I don’t think he is believing you, Jeongguk.” Taehyung warns him.

“You don’t mind me talking to Dr. Choi then? It’s the first I’m hearing of this; I need to confirm.”

“No, of course. You can go now and confirm with him. We will wait for you here.” Jeongguk offers. The guy looks at him and smiles.

“I’d rather just call him from here.” He shows his phone. Yoongi, Jimin and Jeongguk all look at each other, because shit, they are fucked. Jimin is about to speak when Jeongguk quickly strikes the doctor, both Jimin and Yoongi flinching the moment his fist connects with the guy’s jaw. When he settles against the wall, Jeongguk easily puts him on a choke-hold. He gets him there, until he goes limp.

“Oh shit.” Jimin says, as Jeongguk lays the guy in the floor and looks around.

Taehyung is in complete shock. “Jesus, Jeongguk!”

"Sorry, guys. I’m not a convincing doctor.” He shrugs. His martial arts days still prove useful even now.

Yoongi groans. “Jesus Christ, Jeongguk-ah, the felonies keep piling up. What are you going to do next, kidnap a child? Push an old lady down the stairs?”

Jimin chuckles. “That was impressive, kid. Let’s go this way.”

They have just turned left when they hear heels and someone gasping. It's Mina. “Oh, God, Doyoon! What happened?” She must be tending to him, but then they hear. “Hi, I need security on the third floor, there’s an unconscious doctor and a patient missing.”

Well, shit, apparently, she hadn't wait like Jimin had told her to. That was just great. Just what they needed; this floor full of security guards. “Should we take the stairs, maybe?” Jeongguk offers.

Jimin nods and they keep going, towards the door that led to the emergency stairs. Taehyung looks nervous and he looks at Jeongguk. “Ask Jimin to leave, if he gets caught with us, he will get fired, most likely.”

Jeongguk nods, turning to face the nurse. “Jimin, we got this. You should probably leave, maybe you can distract them.”

“What?”

“Taehyung has asked me to tell you to go. We can handle and if you stay and get caught with us, you will get fired. I will take care of him, I promise.”

“You will, won’t you?” Jimin smiles. “It’s useless, though. Mina saw he is gone. She already knows I’m involved.”

“Either way, if shit goes down, I will take the fall on my own, if needs be- you can argue that I was insane and you accompanied me to try and protect Taehyung and myself, take me to the psych ward, I’m sure anyone would get me under watch if I say I was communicating with the ghost of a doctor in a coma.”

Jimin goes first and curses. “There’s a few security guards in front of the access to the stairs. We will need to get to an elevator, right now.” They turn the other way, seeing an elevator. It’s coming up and they pray that it arrives empty, but when it dings open, a security guard gets out, seeing them as soon as he turns his head and steps forward in their direction.

Oh no.

Things are quickly getting out of hand. He must realize what he sees, because he is ready to run to them. Before he could gain on them, and he is so close, Yoongi steps away from the gurney and throws himself into the guard with all impulse he can muster, tackling him back inside the elevator with a scream.

Jeongguk fucking loves his best friend.

They go down inside the elevator, struggling to get their bearings, until they get back up and Yoongi is flinching when the guard is about to punch him, only for them to notice that he was holding the breathing tube. It takes a second for Yoongi to realize where that came from. “Oh shit.”

It’s just the two of them now, and there’s another elevator at the end of the hallway. They keep going, only to be faced with Seokjin, coming along with Namjoon and Sora. The chief’s eyes widen when he sees them. “What is happening? Is that Tae’s boyfriend? Jimin-ah?”

Seokjin and Sora look at them, starting to fun towards them and they decide to turn.

“I guess we go down together, Jeon.” Jimin whispers. They are pretty much surrounded now. Besides Namjoon, Seokjin and Sora, there’s other people coming from them. It’s just them in the middle, and Taehyung lying in the gurney.

Jeongguk shakes his head. Jimin can’t take the fall for this. It was his stupid plan. Taehyung is trying to warn him about something, suddenly stunned by everything. Jeongguk breathes, before he grabs Jimin, who yelps, and he puts his arms around his neck, in a similar way he did with the other doctor, but the hold much looser. “Get away, I have him here.”

They all gasp. Jimin rolls his eyes at Jeonggguk’s theatrics. He is such a dramatic ass, of course Taehyung would fall in love with him.

It’s then that Jeongguk hears Taehyung, loud and clear. “Guys, doesn't matter. It’s over, look!” He tells him, his face defeated and he points to his body. Jeongguk turns, only to notice that he can see his face. Fuck. “My breathing tube is gone.”

People are coming around them. From one way, Mina gets closer along with her friend, who still looks a little dizzy. Taehyung’s friends and brother from the other. Security guards were also coming.

“Stop right there!” He hears an order and it’s coming from Namjoon. “Jeongguk! Let Mr. Park go, please. We don’t want to hurt you. We need to understand what is happening.” Jeongguk huffs, throwing Jimin to the side with a little force. He is sorry, but he needs the leverage. Namjoon runs to his husband, checking to see if he is okay after he lands on the floor, eyes cold as he looks back, wanting to go after Jeongguk, only for his husband to hold him back.

“He is here for Tae. Wait, please.”

“Jeongguk.” Taehyung whispered, looking at his from the other side of the gurney, Jeongguk looks down, he looks so peaceful. “I think it’s over.”

“Taehyung, what can I do, please?” He asks, desperation clear on his voice. He can’t give a damn that people are staring at him talking to nothing.

“It’s too late, I'm going. I think I can see a light.”

“No, please!” Everyone is watching him as he cries, talking and staring at something invisible. “I love you.”

“It’s strong.” His voice is barely audible.

“Be stronger, stay with me. Taehyung, please.”

“I can’t, it’s pulling me way...” Jeongguk can see him as he begins fading and all he wants to do is cry, because that can’t be it.

“NO!” He screams.

He hears the commotion around him, someone yelling: “Give me a sedative.”

And finally, Jeongguk, and all of them, hears the monitor. Taehyung is flatlining. He is dying. Jeongguk feels frozen. He can hear Seokjin begging for them to help Taehyung, because even though they were going to unplug him from life-support, seeing him flatlining in the middle of the hallway is way more shocking.

But no. No, that can't be it.

In a last desperate attempt to bring Taehyung back to him, Jeongguk goes in, hands on his face as he pulls his chin up, freeing his air-way and dives, finally touching their lips. Taehyung, his spirit barely visible, barely there, touches his lips, the tingling sensation spreading, before he is gone. Jeongguk goes all in, trying to make the love of his life breathe, filling his chest with air.

He remembers what Taehyung had said, that if Jeongguk could really touch him, he might wake-up, so he trying to give him everything, oxygen from his own body, his energy, his life, his soul and his love. Please, please, stay with me.

“I need five of haldol, please.” Someone says, but Jeongguk isn’t paying attention. He is just begging something, someone, please, give him back to me.

“Taehyungie, no, please.” Jin yells, the sound from the heart monitor still going, almost deafening.

Jeongguk gets away, touching Taehyung’s beautiful face, trying to get his bearings, before he feels a heavy weight against him and goes down, tackled by a security guard. They both are thrown to the ground and he lands harshly, air being knocked from his lungs as his back hit the hard floor. Another man gets to him them and he is being restraint by two. Still, he tries to move, try to get away. He is yelling for Taehyung, for his lost love. Jeongguk is strong, but so are both men holding him. His screams don’t stop, Taehyung’s name echoing in the halls. He is no longer there.

“No, please, you guys have to understand... I love him, he is alive, he is here with me, please.”

The awful sound of the monitor is so loud, freezing everyone else in place where there’s nothing they can so. Until it stops and then there’s a loud beep. They all hear it. Then comes another, and other after that, until it’s steady. Namjoon and Jimin get up, looking shocked and Sora has her hands on her cheeks and eyes huge.

“What's going on?” Jin asks, seeing the line on the monitor become waves and there’s a number, his heart is still beating.

“That's impossible.” Mina says, looking at the monitor.

Jeongguk tries to move, to see what is happening, both guards get up and pull him along, still holding him by his arms. He stops moving now.

Jin gasps, going near his brother, grabbing his hand and then all of them hear a cough, following by harsh breathing and Taehyung is opening his eyes. “Oh! Oh, my god, my baby bear. Taehyung, can you hear me? I can't believe we almost let you go.” Seokjin sobs. “Sweetie, please. It’s me, Jin-hyung.

Taehyung looks at him, confused, and tries to lift his head, but goes back to his pillow, a soft whimper leaving his lips as his eyes try to get accustomed to the bright light. “Hyung? I think I bumped my head.”

Jin chuckles. “Oh, my baby. You are okay.” He cries happily, holding his brother’s hand and sobbing with relief. God, he almost- oh, God, his baby bear. He looks at Jeongguk, who is struggling. “For fuck’s sake, let him go.”

The guards look around and Namjoon nods at them. Jimin also runs to Taehyung, brushing the hair off his face. “Oh, Tae. I’m so glad.”

“Jiminie- I’m thirsty.” He whispers, his voice hoarse, his throat a little dry.

Jimin is also sobbing, wanting nothing more than squish his best friend on his arms. “I knew you would come back to me.”

“Yes, of course, it’s just a- concussion, right?” He manages to asks, but coughs again. Namjoon calls for a nurse to com examine him and his reflexes, everything.

Jeongguk keeps looking at him. He is pale and fragile, his hair has long dark roots and looks a little dull, and he seems so weak, but he is awake and alive and in front of him in a way that he can touch. “Tete?”

The guards were still behind him, but he has his arms and his hands go to the gurney. Taehyung moves his head slowly at his direction, looking at him and frowning.

“Tae, you must be a little confused.” Jimin tells him.

Jeongguk nods, because, of course, he just woke up. He tries again. “Hi.”

“Hello.” He manages, before he has another coughing fit.

Jin gets closer, smiling at Jeongguk. “Hey, baby. This is Jeongguk... don’t you remember Jeongguk, sweetie?”

Taehyung looks even more confused, before he opens his mouth again. “S-sorry, I don’t-”

Fuck, no. His heart fucking hurts. “The apartment. The rooftop, the garden. The beach. Yeontan... nothing?” Doesn’t he remember him? All they went through?

Taehyung shakes his head, his eyes searching for Jin, a little scared.

“Oh darling, you don’t remember him, do you?” He asks his brother, who just shakes his head.

No. He doesn’t remember him.

Jeongguk nods, his eyes stinging. “Uh, that’s okay, I will-” He looks at Taehyung, his beautiful angel, one last time, before he gets away, slowly, turning the other way and walking slowly, but not without looking back. He better leave, especially when everyone is shocked about everything. He needs to go before the doctor decides to call the police on him or something else happens. He did what he came here to do. He saved Taehyung. So what if he lost him? At least he is alive.

He is going towards the elevator, pressing the buttons, when he feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks back. It’s Jimin. “He will remember eventually; he is just confused.”

“Will he? He just seemed to not know me.”

“He met you when he was in a coma, I think those memories are different to access. He must remember, and if not, we can introduce you two, and you can make him fall in love with you again.”

Jeongguk chuckles, but there’s no joy. It’s bittersweet, it’s just awful. “Can I? But how can I live knowing he doesn't remember our love, all of our moments together, which arguably resulted in the best month of my life?”

“Maybe he will.”

“Yeah... He needs time to recover, and you guys. Apparently, he doesn't need me. I will go and empty the apartment today and just go, try to go forward by myself.” He tells the blond nurse.

“Not yet. Stay there, Jeongguk, for a while more. Taehyung won’t be able to go home for a while. He will have to be with us, until he gets used to his life again, we need to test his cognitive functions, he will start physical therapy. Stay there, make a plan. I will give you updates.”

Jeongguk just nods and Jimin leaves him alone. The elevator arrives and inside him he sees Yoongi, laughing along with the security guard he had tackled. “Oh, Jeongguk! We heard via radio that your boy woke up. I told some of the story for my man, Ho-ssi here... he is a sucker for a love story and very spiritual at that. How was it?”

He looks at them both and just breaks down on a sob. “He doesn’t remember me, hyung.”

Yoongi and Ho look at each other and both kind of hug Jeongguk, the three of them inside of the elevator. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

Jeongguk looks up. “Yeah, well... I think we should go. I’m not needed here anymore.”

Recovery means a lot of work.

That happens to both of them. While Taehyung is told what happened to him, does a series of tests, goes through every specialty possible, is set with a physical therapist and a mental health professional and has the support of his family, friends and colleagues; Jeongguk tries to mend his broken heart. He runs, works out, cooks nice, planned meals for himself, walks Yeontan and tries to see if he can go back to work in the near future. He also tries to go back to a social life. He calls his old college friends or even his childhood ones, goes out, tries to get back to a sense of normalcy.

But mainly, he goes out with Yoongi and Hoseok.

His best friend refuses to let him out of his sight for a few days, so he is there when Jeongguk goes to Hoseok to update him on what happened. The two of them click like two old friends, despite the fact that Yoongi is a skeptical, introverted man of science and Hoseok is... Hoseok. He believes in ghosts and more of the supernatural, he is super outgoing and happy. Still, he balances out both Jeongguk and Yoongi and soon they are going just the three of them out to drinks or sometimes to these weird outings Hoseok organizes at his shop.

One night, Jeongguk sits them down and tells them the whole story. Of how they fell in love, of everything they did together, all of their feelings. He tells them about the umbrella, and Yoongi says that he always liked Taehyung for Jeongguk, that they fit. He says that he has never loved so intensely before, in this way that takes his whole body and soul, and he knows Taehyung was his destiny. Hoseok nods, saying that if that’s true, the universe will keep bringing them together. After a long analysis made over some glasses of whiskey, all three of them agree on what his next step should be.

He stays five more weeks at the apartment. Taehyung is living with Jimin and Namjoon but stays some days with his brother. Jimin got a suspension for his behavior (Jeongguk himself donated some substantial quantity of money to the hospital so they would keep it quiet the fact that he tried to kidnap a coma patient), so he stays with Taehyung. With time, the blond (now with his hair freshly dyed) starts to resemble his old self, but he is sad. His psych evaluation doesn't point out a depressive mood, but he still looks sad and detached. Jin and Namjoon are not sure, but Jimin knows he misses Jeongguk. He knows by the way he asks for his apartment or how he looks wistfully at the window, as if he is looking for someone.

He gets tired of watching his friend miss out on love, especially when he has a man who would do anything for him right there, waiting, and he just needs to remember. So, one day, when Taehyung has to go to the hospital for a check-up, Jimin goes out to his building and stops at their apartment.

After ringing the doorbell, it takes a while until the door opens. He was expecting Jeongguk, but he is let in by Yoongi, who is wearing some old clothes all stained with-

“Is that mud on your shirt?” He asks the guy.

“Oh, hey Jimin. You are lucky I was downstairs to get some water or else we wouldn’t have heard you ringing the doorbell. We are all very busy upstairs. The brat has a time limit, and he doesn’t have a crew yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.” It’s his answer, all ominous. That’s just great.

Upstairs ends up being the roof. Jimin is going up the stairs, following Yoongi. He has gone to the roof with Taehyung a few times, they would have good talks there, admiring the view. But when he looks around, he sees that it looks a lot different than it was. “Oh wow.”

Jeongguk looks at them. “Oh, Jimin, you are here. I didn’t know you were planning on stopping by. It’s been a while. Aren’t you supposed to be with Taehyung?”

“He has a doctor’s appointment and Seokjin is going with him. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you like it? Blondie said he meant to do this, I thought- I wanted him to have something from me. To remember me by, even if he doesn’t know it. Something beautiful, like he deserves.”

Jimin smiles, nodding. “It’s amazing.” Taehyung always wanted a garden.

The place looks beautiful. Full of flowers, with this cute fountain in one corner and stone paths, a little deck and a nice pergola, with something akin of a little atelier built. There’s a porch swing and an empty place. “I was thinking of putting a hot tub, but yeah.”

Tannie barks from his little playpen, catching Jimin’s attention. “Oh, who is this little guy?”

“That's Yeontan, our dog. Taehyung fell in love with him first and I guess, he said he wanted a dog as well at some point. I guess we all clicked, so I got him. He misses Tae a lot, keeps whining like the little brat he is. I was kind of conspiring with Yoongi that I’d like to try and get him to see Taehyung. Even if it’s by accident at the park. I’m trying to convince him to talk to Seokjin about it. But Yoongi is a coward now that the man is single again.”

Jimin giggles. “I can help you; I can take Tae to the park.”

“Thanks, Jimin.”

There’s a silence. Until Jimin decides to break it. “He misses you. I mean, he doesn't know what or who he misses, but he spends his days looking at the window, asking for the apartment, talking about flowers or about going to the beach. Taehyung was never a huge beach fan. Just tell me one thing, Jeongguk. You won’t give up on him, will you?”

Jeongguk shakes his head, chuckling. “Never.”

“You know, if you were there, he might remember quickly.”

“I want him to remember at his own pace. Not to force myself on him, confuse his head. I will wait forever if I need to.” He tells Jimin and soon he leaves him to pay attention to some other part of the renovations.

Jimin is busy trying to catch all the details. It’s so pretty, everything since the colors of the flowers, to the furniture and the wood they were using. It was all very Taehyung.

“Hello.” He hears someone say behind him. He turns and sees a cute boy, smiling widely at him, wearing a cute outfit with a striped shirt and overalls and a bucket hat. “You have a very strong connection with him, haven't you? His little guardian angel?”

Jimin smirks. “And you are?”

“Hoseok, a friend of the couple.” He offers. Jimin raises his brow. The couple? Then that means he met Tae while he was a ghost? Probably.

“Pleasure.” He offers his hand, Hoseok taking it immediately. His smile is almost contagious, but then he goes serious.

“They need to be together, Jimin. I'm sure you know that.”

Jimin nods, humming along. “Certainly.”

“Great.” He shows Jimin a pretty purple flower. “Give him this flower. I think we will finish the garden in a few days. Jeongguk will deliver the apartment next thursday, but he will come here to see all the details Friday morning. Bring him here then.”

“I will.”

“You are a good friend, Jimin-ah.” Hoseok affirms. “And you will be a great father. No need to be scared to go away to get your little boy, Taehyung will still be here when you come back. He has a new angel taking care of him now.”

“I know.” Jimin agrees, eyes watering. “Oh, I know.”

Seokjin noticed that something was amiss with his brother. After he woke up, it was a whirlwind of emotions. Sure, it was a hectic day, with this stranger trying to steal his body, only for him to actually be Yoongi’s best friend, the same one that stood Taehyung up that awful night. He claimed he could talk to his spirit, which was doubtful at best, but somehow it made sense.

While Taehyung was examined by the doctors, Seokjin called his parents with the news. They all celebrated, his mother crying that she wasn’t driving to Seoul with the rest of their family to her youngest son’s funeral, but to see him finally awake after months of agony.

The first few days went slowly. Tae was still confused and a little woozy from his four-month sleep, seeing a bunch of doctors. He had a long journey of reconditioning his body. His vitamins were low despite everything they did there, he was anemic and had lost a lot of weight. He felt weak and moving caused him a lot of pain, his muscles accustomed to his lying position.

Even when he was discharged and moved to Namjoon and Jimin’s spare bedroom (the other one besides the now freshly painted nursery), doing his physical therapy, he still looked... aloof. When he felt better, they did a lot of little programs with him. Seokjin took him to his restaurant, all of them going to dinner and he would pass the kitchen to his sous-chef for a bit of time with his family. They went to parks with the girls and watched movies. Jimin spent most days with Taehyung, enjoying his vacation/suspension to take care of his best friend.

But Taehyung always looked like he was looking for something. He asked for a garden or to go to the beach and he always paused when he saw dogs walking at the park. Jimin said over and over that he missed Jeongguk and with time, Namjoon and Seokjin accepted it.

Another change that happened, was that apparently Yoongi was back in his life. He went to check on Taehyung, who frowned at him for a bit, saying he looked familiar. That night ended up on them deciding they should hang out, as friends. Yoongi would go to the restaurant, and he got along splendidly with Namjoon. The girls also loved him, liked to sing while he played the piano, and he also was cute like a little cat. Seeing him hanging out with his daughters wasn’t good for his heart.

“You should ask him out.” Taehyung says suddenly. Jin looks up.

“Don’t be stupid, kid. I just got out of a marriage, and I have kids to think about, it’s hardly ideal to rekindle a youth romance that always was bound to fail.”

“I hardly think the kids will be a problem, because they love him, and he seems pretty enchanted with them too. Also, it’s not like you lost your husband at war and need a mourning period. He left you, being the selfish bastard that he was. You deserve someone. If he is willing... you have someone to help with the kids, to love them and help them heal from being left by their other parent. He is in love with you, hyung. And part of you never forgot him either.”

“Since when did you get so smart about love, huh?”

“I don’t know. I just think that when it comes to love, you should embrace it. Don’t wait, because tomorrow is not guaranteed.”

They are eating breakfast together all of them, before Namjoon has to go back to the hospital and Jin has to take the girls to school for a field trip. Taehyung is getting back to his apartment today and next week he will go back to his job, under supervision of his old mentor. His neurological exams, to the amazement of the doctors, are stellar. No consequences whatsoever. Sure, Jimin says he has amnesia, but how are they going to explain that Taehyung missed his coma memories about the times he walked around as a ghost falling in love.

His brother looks beautiful. He decided to keep his longer hair, now dyed again, falling in soft waves. He is wearing soft, light clothes. It is a warm day despite winter approaching and he is wearing his loose pants and a fluffy looking cardigan. On his hair, the flower he had received from Jimin a few days prior and couldn’t let go. It’s weird, how it should be dying by now, but it’s still there, soft purple petals intact.

They all say their goodbyes. Seokjin pulls Jimin aside. “You have this naughty glow in your eyes, what are you even planning, you little devil?”

“Nothing, hyung.”

Seokjin sighs, but when the subject is Taehyung, he learned that Jimin knows what he is doing. The wound of almost having turned off the machines is still fresh and open, hurting inside his heart. Taehyung says that he appreciates Jin respecting his wishes, that he would have asked for the same, but he still has nightmares where they let him go. The last one had him waking up screaming, only for Yoongi, who was respectfully sleeping on his couch, to run inside and hug him as he cries on his chest.

Whatever Jimin has planned, he hopes it works. The thing he loves the most in the world is his family and while Taehyung stands healthy and alive in front of them, part of him is still missing.

The drive is quiet, but Jimin knows Taehyung is nervous. He has been asking about the apartment for weeks, but they always tell him the current tenant needs time to go. Not that he had been long there, just over two months total. They told Taehyung that they put it to rent on a monthly basis to have a sum to pay for his deposits towards the apartment. He had been worried about it, his finances. He had some money saved for emergencies, but still was a crazy situation. But his family had taken care of him, like always.

They enter the apartment, Taehyung slowly inspecting those familiar walls. “We rented it for a little over two months, only. Got a good price for it. But everything is like you left, don’t worry. The tenant didn’t disturb the integrity of your place.”

Taehyung nods, looking around the living room, sitting on the corner bench under the window, only for him to notice the ring on the table. Maybe the tenant didn’t believe in coasters. Still, something hurt inside him, his heart speeding. Everything else is pretty much the same. His bedroom is just stripped of his decorations, like picture frames and this little statuette that he had on his bedside table. His clothes are also missing from the closet. But they were on the suitcases they brought up.

“I will get you some groceries and then start to make us something to eat, you know I am slow in the kitchen.” Jimin says. Taehyung chuckles, they all remember the times Jimin offered to cook, only to be yelled at by Seokjin about doing things slowly. They all were receivers of his wrath in the kitchen. Namjoon with his dangerous ways of handling a knife or always stumbling on things, dropping appliances. Taehyung and his chaotic ways of putting himself – and others – in danger, be it by sharp knives or fire. And Jimin for being slow. “Will you be okay?”

“Yes, I am not a child, Park Jimin. Soon you will be going to New York to visit your sister and have your baby and I will have to take care of myself all alone. I can do it, Chim. Don’t worry.” He reassures his friend. When Jimin told him about Jia being his surrogate and that he was about to be a dad, Taehyung had cried. He had helped than with the nursery and to plan everything for the little baby. Seyeon’s pregnancy was also a joy. She was now on maternity leave, baby Taehyung anxious to come to the world.

“Fine, I will be about an hour or so.”

Before he leaves, Taehyung needs to ask- “Uh, are you sure that there is not something missing?”

Jimin looks at him, his secretive smile on his face. “Yes, I’m sure, but you haven’t gone to see everything yet, have you?”

Taehyung sits on his bed, reminiscing to his good times at his place. Haven’t seen everything? There was the roof, but it hardly has something to notice. Still, he misses the view.

He goes up the stairs, slowly. He is shaking a bit, his heart beating like crazy, and he doesn’t know why. When he emerges, he gasps. There’s a garden there, beautiful. Stones on the floor and wooden decks, flowers, a fountain, even what it looks like a jacuzzi or something. At the other corner, he sees a man crouched down, hands on a vase as he fixes it. By his side, there’s some sort of little studio under a wooden structure.

“Hello? Who are you?” He asks. The man turns around and smiles. HIs hair is up on a bun, but some still falls over his forehead. Beside the vases, there’s a little dog in a playpen and when he notices Taehyung, he goes crazy, whining and trying to jump off the obstacle.

“Calm down, Tannie.” The man chuckles. “Hi, I’m Jeongguk. I rented this place when you- I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you’d be here so early, I needed to finish it off. I- I just wanted you to have your garden.”

Taehyung nods, looking around. “It’s beautiful, but how did you get in here? They keys were returned to me yesterday.”

“Uh, sorry. I used the spare key, you know. Under the fire extinguisher.” He tells him and Taehyung nods along, confused. They stare at each other, the wind blowing on his hair, the sun touching his skin. It's almost magnetic. The man is beautiful, strong, but his eyes are soft, and he has a cute smile. “Look, the last thing I want here is to scare you.” He grabs the little dog in his arms, who starts digging his little paws on the man's hoodie, whining and looking at Taehyung. He gathers the playpen too. “Uh, goodbye, blondie.”

Blondie. That sounds familiar. He is walking towards the stairs and Taehyung is at the middle of the garden, frozen. It’s beautiful, the little wooden deck, with the benches and the stones around, the little mosaic at the center. “Uh, wait.”

Jeongguk stops, looking at him. “Yes?”

Taehyung doesn’t really know what to say. He just- there's something about him- he wants him to stay but doesn’t know why. “The key. Uh, I need the key back.”

There’s something akin to sadness in the man’s eyes when he nods. “Right, sorry.” He holds the fussy little dog who is trying to jump off his hold, pointing his little face at Taehyung impatiently. He digs on his pants pocket and grabs the key. “Here.”

He comes near Taehyung, the dog going crazy. “He is a little wild.”

“Yeah, he just- you look like someone he missed very much; you know. Sorry for that.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Can I hold him for a bit?” He asks and the man nods, ready to hand him the puppy, that practically jumps into his arms, crying, running his nose against this neck. “Oh, aren’t you a cute little ball of fur? So needy, what is your name, cutie?”

“Uh, his name is Yeontan but we also call him Tan, yeah.” Jeongguk scratches his head. Taehyung smiles and pets the little dog, who seems desperate to feel his touch.

“He is adorable.”

“He sure is. He knows it too, the little bastard. But that’s okay, he has been good company on these tough couple of months. Would have gone crazy without him.” He confesses, because he misses the fuck out of Taehyung and he is right in front of him, looking like an angel, with their dog on his arms and he doesn’t remember him. “Here’s your key, Tete.”

“You know, my family used to call me that and I always thought it made me sound like a child.”

“I think it agrees with you, in some moments. Nothing wrong in being a little like a child sometimes, just pure and innocent, enjoying things with no worries or prejudices.”

“I guess you are right.” Taehyung looks at Jeongguk’s hand, holding the key up and his empty hand follows, searching for his, but for something else other than the key he holds. His touch, maybe? “How do I know you?”

Jeongguk smiles. “Maybe from your dreams?”

Their hands touch, the key dropping between them, and Taehyung suddenly drowns in thousands of images of them together. At the apartment, with the dog alongside them, at a beach or around some trees, in places he didn’t remember going until know. Jeongguk. “It wasn’t a dream.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “No.”

Yeontan barks, but they continue staring at each other’s eyes, hands touching. It tingles, his touch, his hand is slightly dirty from the earth. Jeongguk gives up trying to hold himself, and his other hand goes to his cheek, cupping his jaw and he draws himself closer, slowly, giving him time to move away. But he doesn’t, eyes searching his and Jeongguk just dives in, finally touching their lips, his heart going crazy.

The kiss doesn’t last long, as they move apart just a little, Yeontan whining between them. Taehyung looks down and laughs, before looking at Jeongguk. “Gukkie...”

“Yes, blondie. It’s me.”

“I remember everything.”

Jeongguk feels like he can finally breathe. “Thank God.” He goes for another kiss and Taehyung responds, both careful to not squish their baby between them, who isn’t happy by the lack of attention from his parents, so he barks, annoyed. They laugh, breaking the kiss. “Patience, Tan-ah. I missed Tete too.”

Taehyung laughs. “I missed you, I’m so sorry.”

“You are here now.”

To say that he is mildly surprised to arrive at the apartment carrying groceries only to see his best friend making out with Jeongguk in the couch is accurate. Jimin kind of hoped that would be the case, that Taehyung would remember, but he also had his doubts. Still, he sees them both cuddling and exchanging soft kisses, a cute little dog asleep on top of a little doll inside his playpen.

“Morning, lovers.” Jimin speaks and giggles when they jump apart. “You completely forgot about me, right Taehyung-ah? I would be hurt, but I’m happy everything worked out. Hi, Jeongguk.”

They are both blushing, the fools. “Hey.”

“Sorry, Minie.”

“Meh, don’t mind me. I’ll be at the kitchen making us some delicious lunch. It will take a while, believe me, so you guys can keep doing your thing, pretend I’m not here. I have my cooking playlist and bought myself something warm to drink. I’m fine.” He tells them, before carrying his bags to the kitchen. “Don’t be embarrassed, how many times have you been a third wheel for me and Joonie, Tae?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Will you stay for lunch?” He asks Jeongguk.

“I will stay for as long as you want me, beautiful.”

Lunch with Jimin goes smoothly. Taehyung starts talking about their journey while he was on a coma, filling his best friend in all the details. Jeongguk is a little baffled to hear that all the details really mean all the details. He is left blushing as Jimin whistles when Taehyung talks about their last night together. He should have known that the two would have no secrets. He excuses himself, saying he will bring the dessert Jimin had bought while the two giggle like little kids.

Despite wanting to just go from where they had left things, that night he kisses Taehyung good night and agrees to leave Yeontan with him for the weekend. The blond is a little confused, but he has convinced himself that they need to take things a little slow. “Just, I’m taking you on a date, on saturday.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I want to do this right, the usual and normal way. Let me wine and dine you. Dress nicely, I will take you on an amazing date.”

Taehyung counts the minutes for saturday. He has no idea what they are doing, but Jimin comes to help him pick an outfit and they end up going shopping for it. He buys a silky red shirt, and some fitted black pants and puts a black jacket over it. Some dangly earrings and rings, light make-up (that Jimin does, because he is just as excited about this date as Taehyung). Seokjin had been as well, rejoicing in Taehyung’s love story and then telling him that he always knew Jeongguk would have been the perfect guy for him. “You look fuckable.”

“I’m glad.”

“You going to sleep with him?”

“That’s the plan, yes.”

“On the first date? I’m impressed.”

“It’s hardly the first date, Jimin. We were hanging out for a while. He took me to that garden and his beach house. We had that date and that- ghost sex.”

“I know that sweetie. I watched you orgasm on a scan; it was a very unusual experience for me. I’m glad I didn’t show anyone my findings, can you imagine? Oh, coma patient just had an orgasm from having some tryst with his boyfriend while he was a ghost.”

“Shut up.”

Jimin leaves to pick-up Namjoon around twenty minutes before the time Jeongguk said he would pick him up. He spent these minutes playing with Yeontan, but nervously checking his phone clock. Jeongguk arrived and Taehyung buzzes him up and a minute later the doorbell rings. He runs to open the door, Yeontan following him with curiosity. He had loved Jimin’s visit, so he was curious. The door reveals Jeongguk and he looks beautiful, hair long still, but he had an undercut on the side and was wearing an all-black outfit. “Wow, blondie. You look dashing.”

“You’re not quite bad yourself, mister.” He jokes and Jeongguk rewards him with his full-on bunny smile, and Taehyung lets him in, Yeontan rounding him and already whining. “He is so needy.”

“How will you survive this night alone, buddy?”

“He won’t be, actually. Jimin and Namjoon will babysit him. I didn’t want him to be alone here, you know. I just came back.” Taehyung tells Jeongguk, that already has Yeontan on his arms and the dog is licking his face happily.

“You spoil him too much.”

“Says the man who took him to a daycare the day he went to steal me at the hospital.”

“He wasn’t used to the house then. But he is a big boy now, right Tan-ah?"

Taehyung notices that Jeongguk is holding a bag. “Did you bring him some toys?”

“What? Oh, no, that’s for you, actually.” He hands Taehyung the bag. “I thought about bringing flowers, but I already gave you a whole garden and also, bouquets are ephemeral, I wanted something to symbolize my intentions, something durable.”

Inside, there’s a snow globe, with an exact replica of the garden on his rooftop and two little people in the middle, a little dog beside them. “Woah, how did you do that? This happened yesterday.”

“Well, I was planning on giving you the garden replica. Hoseok is a snow globe nut, he makes then for everything. Yesterday I asked him to add us, and he did. Shake it.”

Taehyung does and instead of something like snow going up, it starts snowing purple glitter and some bigger sparkles, going greatly with the rest of the garden. “How does it look this similar?”

“Beats me. It’s like magic or something. Hoseok has some really cool ones, the attention to detail is amazing. It’s almost like he had seen the scene from the skies. Shall we be going, or do you want to wait for Jimin? Our reservation is in half an hour, but the owner is flexible, I suppose.”

They end up waiting just another ten minutes for Jimin and Namjoon to arrive. Taehyung introduces his cousin and date properly, before they go down the stairs. Jeongguk’s flashy car is parked up front. “I will never get used to this car.”

“I thought about bringing the bike, but I didn’t know if you would like that.”

“Maybe next time.” Taehyung answers and Jeongguk smiles at him. Their drive isn’t long and soon enough they are pulling up in front of Moon Plaza. “Oh, you brought me to my brother’s restaurant?”

“Yeah, you said you always had wanted to have the full experience here. I’m sure you probably did since then, but I don’t think you’ve ever been brought here by someone else. And besides that, I requested a different menu for the chef and I’m kind of anxious to try it.”

“I did come here, but I love it.”

They get inside and a few people recognize Jeongguk from the heroic saving he did of that man a few months ago. That had completely escaped his mind and he blushes a little when they praise him. Taehyung, the little shit, is holding his laugh.

They sit down and order some drinks, talking a little. They talked a lot when Taehyung was in a coma, their whole relationship then pretty much based on that. And yesterday they had talked about how these last few weeks had been. Still, they brush new subjects, some other interests they have or things they liked recently. Jeongguk says that he had asked Seokjin for a special menu and when the food arrives, Taehyung looks at the plate, having some sort of déjà vu.

“It’s the same dish I made the night before you woke up, remember? I gave the base recipe, but your brother had creative liberties with it. I just- I wanted to recreate our first date to our full enjoyment, you know? You couldn’t taste what I served you, but now you can.” Jeongguk explains to him.

He might cry, because it’s so sweet, how Jeongguk cherishes that time they had together and still thinks of ways to make it better for him. It’s crazy, how much his heart aches with love for this, man. How could he have forgotten him for so long. “That’s so sweet, Jeongguk.”

They eat and he still wants to taste Jeongguk’s cooking (he says he had the idea but didn’t want their first date to be just them inside the apartment, but he will cook for Taehyung anytime he wants), but it’s enough to be close to what he had described on that day. He loves his hyung’s cooking as well and he even pays then a small visit, bringing them a dessert to share.

After that, they remain around and Jeongguk offers his hand for Taehyung to hold. It’s almost a rite of passage or this moment of epiphany, because he realizes they have never done that before. It’s weird, because they walked around together for days. He nods, searching for his hand back and they interlace their fingers together. It fits perfectly and they look at each other, smiles on their faces.

“There’s this little performance put together today with some musicians, so I guessed we could take a walk in the park and do the next step of our date.” He guides Taehyung, pulling him along by their intertwined hands as they walk through the park. After a few minutes, they start to hear some music coming from around there. “We don’t need to get super close; we can just enjoy this place and sway to the music. I would much rather stay with just you.”

Taehyung nods as Jeongguk pulls him closer by his waist and they are holding each other, foreheads touching as they sway to the melody playing. “This is nice, touching.”

“Yeah, it is.” Jeongguk nods, both of them getting cozier, Taehyung laying his head on his shoulder as his arms tighten around him.

“You are warm.” He whispers, his breath hitting Jeongguk’s neck, and he shivers. It’s amazing, how little touch matter when he was falling in love with Taehyung (although he never stopped wanting to be able to touch him), but now it made all the difference as the only way they really don’t know each other by. Taehyung smells heavenly, like a rain in a forest, so fresh and flowery.

They stay there, moving to the songs that are being played for a while, just holding each other, until it’s not enough and Jeongguk moves his hand from his waist to his neck, fingers lining his jaw as he coaxes Taehyung to look at him, watches his lips, so pink and inviting. “Can I kiss you, blondie?”

Said blond nods, licking his own lips, still tasting like wine and Jeongguk pulls him closer, molding his lips against his and he closes his eyes, concentrating on how delicious it feels. He breaks down the kiss in tiny little touches of their lips, before he is pressing is tongue on Taehyung’s bottom lip and he moans, opening his mouth and the kiss gets heated. Now he feels the weight of Jeongguk’s hands on his jaw and neck, and the rough of his teeth against his bottom lip. Jeongguk kisses him now like he is hungry, much more than it felt the day before, when they just lied lazily on the touch and enjoyed each other, rediscovering themselves together.

Jeongguk steps back. Taehyung isn’t happy about it. “Do you want to see our apartment? If I remember it correctly, there was another thing I couldn’t taste that night.” That results on a small coughing fit. He laughs. “C’mon, Jeon, I know you want to.” He thrusts his hips forward, grinding against him. “Just because I woke up from a coma and just recently recovered my memories of you, it doesn’t mean I want to take things slow. If it was up to me, you could have pinned me to the bed yesterday.”

With that, Jeongguk kisses him again, even more desperately than before. “I wished for you every day, Taehyung. That you would remember me and finally be mine, in ways you couldn’t before. I guess I’m still afraid things are- I don’t know, feels like a dream that you are back, in your body, with your memories, with me... where you belong. I don’t want to wish for too much, too quickly.”

“You aren’t. I’ve been waiting a long time for you, Jeongguk.”

It's not like he needed a lot of convincing, when Taehyung was looking like that and looking at him like that, like he would gladly shed his clothes right here if needed. “Do you want to go now?”

Taehyung snorts. “Yes, please.”

Doesn’t take long for them to get to his car, walking fast, holding hands like the cute couple they are. Jeongguk sort of speeds, but carefully. He is quite a good driver, but he also is mindful of the fact that the love of his life almost was taken away because of an accident. He leaves his car in the parking lot across the street, and they walk out hand in hand, rushing to the building. Going up, they pass by Nayoung, the neighbor, Jeongguk looking down as she watches them confused. They are going inside, Taehyung giggling as Jeongguk looks uncomfortable.

“You had to see her face, she felt just- betrayed.”

“She must think I met you when I went to drop your mail that day, maybe. I told her I was seeing someone, you know.” He tells Taehyung, both of them walking without taking their hands off each other, Jeongguk dropping kisses on his neck. “You smell so good, you know.”

“He wanted to bathe himself in perfume, he was so nervous.” They both jump, looking back only to see Jimin with a knowing face and an awkward Namjoon. They both are holding their coats. “The baby is asleep in the living room. We played a lot, got him tired and now he is having sweet dreams. If I were you though, I would go straight to the bedroom until he comes looking for you. He is very hungry for affection, that one. We’ll be going now. Have fun, children. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t, wear protection, you know the drill.”

Namjoon looks like he is about to explode of embarrassment. He is always like that when it comes to Taehyung or even Jin, as they grew up like brothers. Jin is a lot more discreet, but Taehyung, as Jimin’s best friend, spend many a night on their living room telling Jimin a little too much about his dates over a glass of wine. Jimin, himself, is quite shameless as well, and many times Namjoon would be present to their sexual repartees. “Let’s go, love.”

“Got have my own fun, huh.” He winks, only to tease his husband who just pull him by his arm, waving awkwardly at the other couple before they hear the door closing.

“Jimin is quite the character, huh.”

“He is lucky Joon-hyung loves him, because he has put his patience to test many times.” He giggles. Jeongguk smiles at him, completely endeared. “Bedroom?”

Dear Lord.

They don’t really make it to the bedroom before they are on each other again. Jeongguk’s jacket is thrown on the hallway floor as he pressed Taehyung against the wall, holding him up by his thighs, as he has his legs around his waist. “Someone is a little impatient.” He whispers against his neck.

“Do you have any idea how long it has been for me? Our little rendezvous notwithstanding. I can’t be blamed either, because you look so hot.” He presses his ass against Jeongguk, hearing him groan. “Just take me to the bedroom, Jeon.”

Taehyung throws his own jacket away, before Jeongguk carries him to the bedroom. They enter the room and Taehyung sets his feet on the floor, turning them and pressing Jeongguk against the door. “I remember I was promised something by you, Gukkie.” He says, dropping to his knees in front of him and hooking his fingers on the belt loops of his pants. “Can I?”

Jeongguk breathes deeply. “Of course you can, blondie. What did you expect me to say? No?”

The little tease giggles, before he makes quick work of his pants, longer fingers pressing against his erection. He tries to keep his cool, to not burst too fast, because now it’s real, it’s really Taehyung there, touching him, on his knees in front of Jeongguk, about to suck him off. Just relax and keep a hold of yourself, he thinks. Taehyung, being the secretly naughty boy that he is, is already mouthing at his length, wetting him with saliva through his underwear. His pants are barely moved down his thighs, just enough to show the outline of his cock under the black fabric. “I wished I could just tease you for hours, but maybe tomorrow.” Taehyung says with a mischievous smile on his face as he looks up and plays with the band of his boxer briefs, before dipping his hands inside and wrapping his hand around him. “Feels amazing, so big, Gukkie.”

Jeongguk clenches his jaw as he watches Taehyung licking his own hand and pumping his shaft, thump going around the tip, gathering the drops of precum there and sucking it off, humming at the taste. He is a devil; he should have known after their hot night together (where they couldn’t even touch!).

He doesn’t tease much, however, forcing the underwear and pants down a big to mid-thigh so he can fully free Jeongguk from its confines and he dives in, kissing and nibbling on his inner-thigh muscles, his cheek rubbing against the skin, before sucking on his balls. “Taehyung...”

Being a little pressed for time, wanting to do everything they wished they could have done a long time ago, the little tease doesn’t wait any more, just going for it. Apparently, he is not one to do things half-way or start small, wanting to show Jeongguk what he’s got.

He might be lacking finesse, it’s been a while since he had a dick in his mouth, let alone one this size, but he had always been good in suppressing his gag reflex. Still, he feels it, the weight of it in his mouth, the stretch of his lips, and his eyes fill with tears when it hits the back of his throat.

Jeongguk throws his head back, hitting the door a bit harshly, a string of curses leaving his lips. Taehyung looked enticing, dangerous, a glint in his eyes as he looks up to him and hums, the vibrations sending shivers up his spine. He runs his blunt nails against his thighs, feeling the muscles flex, as he pressed his tongue against the side as he starts to moving his head. It takes a lot of his self-control not to move his hips forward and just grab Taehyung by his pretty blond hair. He remembers he promised, but he wants to enjoy his blondie going for it.

Taehyung always liked giving head, and he seemed to be made for it, with his sinful lips and skillful tongue, his lewd expressions and just raw talent. He used to do it a lot in college, much less hassle than going for a hook-up. Jimin would take him to parties, he would suck a guy off in the bathroom and get a hand job or something and leave to study a bit more. Right now, he is glad, because reducing Jeongguk to a moaning mess is fun.

The man is looking at him, eyes dark and he is biting his lip so hard he might draw blood. Taehyung’s mouth feels amazing, those pink lips stretched around him, his pretty eyes glassy and a bit unfocused, spit dripping down his chin. He pulls off, runs his tongue from the base to the tip, turning around the head and giggles. He looks like he loves it, the bitter taste of precum, the velvety feel of it, the weight against his tongue. The sucks the head, releasing with a pop and doing it against, taking a bit more back inside, pressing his tongue in the right places. Jeongguk moves his hips slowly and he moans, eyes rolling.

“Is that what you want, sweetheart?” He asks and Taehyung nods as much as he can with a dick on his mouth, his hands going up from his thighs to his ass and trying to get him to move. Jeongguk does what he says, the tension in his lower abdomen building too quickly for him to wait longer. His hands fly to his soft hair, strands between his fingers and he starts to move his head on him, building a nice rhythm, forcing him to take it. “Pinch my thigh if it’s too much.”

Too much doesn’t seem like it’s something on Taehyung’s vocabulary, because he follows Jeongguk, tries to take him harder and deeper, despite the tears running down his cheeks, his eyelashes damp, the mess that is his face. He looks absolutely obscene and Jeongguk wants to devour him. Taehyung moans along, feeling a slight sting on his scalp when Jeongguk starts to let his control go, the sharp pain going straight to his dick. He pressed his palm in front of his pants, but he wants Jeongguk to touch him.

As the rhythm gets a bit more punishing, the tip hitting the back of his throat just right. God, he will have to take care of it for tomorrow, so he doesn’t go to work with his voice strained. But he likes the pain, the effort it takes him to not choke. It gets a little sloppy, but he isn’t worried about technique at this moment. His hands feel the hard glute muscles, going back to his big thighs and God, this man is so hot and he is here with Taehyung and they love each other.

It's wild.

His jaw goes slack, aching, but he doesn’t care. He cups his balls, massaging them in one hand and with one finger he presses his perineum, feeling the pull on his hair becoming more forceful. He hollows his cheeks, sucking and moving his tongue as Jeongguk thrusts into his month and he is trembling a bit, so close. Taehyung himself is feeling high, wanting to taste him, to swallow him whole and just let him shoot down his throat, but he is suddenly being pulled off by his hair and the sudden sting makes him shiver and he whines in frustration.

“I’m not a teenager anymore, Taehyung. I want to come inside you.” He says and yes, that also sounds lovely and Taehyung is totally on board with this plan. “Come on, pretty. Take off your clothes and get on the bed.”

He nods, getting up only for Jeongguk to pull him for a kiss, wet and messy, him probably tasting himself on Taehyung’s tongue and they moan together, hips pressed together as Jeongguk squeezes his ass, before letting him go. He strips down, shimming off his pants first, before opening his shirt and Jeongguk just grabs him and throws him on the bad, lying on his back and crawls on top of him.

“So pretty for me, blondie. Look at you, these curves, your cute little tummy. He drops kissed on his sternum. “You heart beats are the most amazing sound I’ve heard, you know? Right there on that hospital and know against my lips.” He moves, sucking on his nipple, tongue pressing on the hardening buds and Taehyung arches his back, chasing the touch.

“G-gukkie...”

Jeongguk smirks, lips tracing a path, his hand pressing on his stomach as he runs his tongue around his navel, sucks on his hipbones, before quickly getting him out of his boxer shorts, throwing them on the floor, leaving his exposed. “Delicious. So beautiful, Tae.” He leans down, mouths at his hard cock, tongue his tracing a vein, so lightly, Taehyung is trembling. Jeongguk chuckles, before kissing his tip, pressing his thumb around the head, seeing precum collecting there before he sucks in the head, tastes.

Taehyung sobs against the pillow, his head turned to the side. But Jeongguk just retreats, kneeling on the bed. “As it seems this was in your plans, I’m sure that you have lube and condoms somewhere around here.” He nods, stretching to reach the bedside table, pulling a bottle of lube Jimin had gifted him today. His soulmate was the best. He throws it to Jeongguk, who grins. “Strawberry, great.”

“Are you clean, Jeongguk?” He asks, shy all of sudden. “I- I had a lot of tests done and I haven’t-”

“Yeah, I haven’t either, not since before the army. I’m clean, yes. I can fuck you without a condom if that’s what you want.” He answers and Taehyung nods. “Why don’t you turn around for me, beautiful.”

Taehyung does as he is told, only for Jeongguk to suddenly bite the flesh on the upper curve of his ass. It takes him a second to realize that it’s where his tattoo is and he groans. “Fuck.”

“It’s cute.”

“I was drunk, for fuck’s sake. It’s all Jimin’s fault.” Not a lot of his hook-ups saw it. He had one boyfriend since the tattoo and mostly one-night stands or quickies where they just messed around in the dark or half-dressed. Still, he is blushing. A lot, probably the same color as the damn tattoo.

Jeongguk just winks and positions him better, ass a little up, legs parted. “Can I eat your pretty ass, blondie?” He asks him, his breath already hitting his skin. That alone makes him tremble in anticipation. That has to be one of his favorite things and not something he indulged in often. Usually, it’s not much about foreplay and exploring each other’s bodies. So he nods, nervously. “I will make you feel good, don’t worry.” Taehyung feels his hands massaging his glutes, squeezing the soft flesh. “Such a perfect ass, babe.”

His hands are rough and strong and they feel amazing pressing his cheeks. His thumbs trace closer to his cleft, his lips sucking on the skin where his ass meet his thighs, living wet kisses on the supple flesh of his ass. It’s maddening, because he is so close and it’s been so long since Taehyung felt this exposed to someone, so long since he let himself feel this. He must let out a noise complaining, because Jeongguk holds him open, thumbs pressing strongly on his cheeks and licks up to his entrance, tongue flat against it. Taehyung moans and shivers, but he has no time to get used to it, because Jeongguk does it against, this time from his balls, pressing down to his perineum and circling his hole. It’s intense, he feels Jeongguk breathing near him, his touch burning against his skin.

The sudden intrusion of his tongue makes him jump a little. Feels good, the way it moves inside of him, the way he sucks on the delicate skin around his entrance. He had been a bit antsy before their date, readying himself for this night, all the prep, mild fingering in the shower to take the edge off. And know Jeongguk is invading him with his tongue, wet and warm, pressing on his walls as he sucks at his hole, gives his ass a quick slap. “Oh, fuck. Keep going, Gukkie.”

Jeongguk must have taken that as his permission to be a devil, because moves off of him, and gives him another slap, this time a little harder. “Does my blondie like this?”

“Y-yeah.” He whimpers against the pillow, a little embarrassed.

“I knew you would, beautiful. With you little pain kink before, the way you apparently are quite deviant, aren’t you? No one to take care of you.” He circles a lubed-up finger around his hole and Taehyung hisses from the cold. He didn’t even hear him opening the bottle. “So tight, Taehyung. Will you even be able to take me?”

“Fuck, yes, Jeongguk. Just-” The bastard. He must be having loads of fun teasing him back now. But it quickly moves along, curling his finger inside, his tongue going back in as well, as he truly devours Taehyung like a starved man. Doesn’t take long for him to go in with two fingers, the stretch deliciously tingling on his lower stomach, especially when he scissors them, his tongue going deeper, and he loosens Taehyung for him. It’s amazing, feels so good.

He chuckles when he finally finds his prostate, tapping it incessantly. “Guess what I found, huh.” He jokes, their little banter from their other night together suddenly fresh on their minds. He doesn’t live it alone for a while, Taehyung whimpering from the stimulation, only for him to take his fingers off when he started seeing stars. But he comes back with a third, right on that little spot, massaging it deliciously, while he laps at his entrance, sucking on it, forcing the tip of his tongue along the stretched hole. “Such a delicious meal, Tete. The best dessert I could ask for.”

Taehyung is writhing on the bed, running his nails on the sheets like a cat clawing desperately. He is ready, but every time he tries to warn him, there’s a new stimulus, a new sensation and he whimpers against the pillow, holding for dear life, because that man might kill him. “Fuck, I- right there, I- Gukkie, I think I’m ready.”

Jeongguk doesn’t answer him. Instead, he tries to add just the tip of a fourth finger and Taehyung shivers, it’s like fire licking at his tailbone, burning up his spine and leaving his brain to short-circuit. “I guess you are, blondie.” He agrees, and with a last little tap to his prostate and a wet run of his tongue, he slaps his ass once before rolling him to his back. “I want to see you, Taehyung. To look into your eyes.”

Taehyung nods, because he wants that too. His hand goes for Jeongguk’s neck and pulls him closer, a soft kiss on his lips, before putting a strand of his messy hair behind his ear. “You still wearing pants.” He says, pouting. Jeongguk laughs, his little bunny smile showing, and he steps off the bed and takes off the rest of his clothes. Taehyung also sheds his shirt and they are both naked. Jeongguk is beautiful and strong, and Jimin had been right, because Taehyung would throw himself at him in any given situation. His cock is hard and big and red, straining against his stomach as he pumps it with some lube, growling with the touch after going a while ignoring it. He goes back to the bed and grabs Taehyung by his thighs and positions himself between his legs, kneeling on the bed and lifting his ass off the mattress.

His lower back is propped on Jeongguk’s thighs and he is watching and he grabs his cock and guides to his entrance, rubbing the tip around his hole. “Fuck.” He is kind of over the whole careful thing. Jeongguk might agree, because he pushes in, looking at the head stretches him open, going through the first ring of muscles and shit, he is so tight and hot, enveloping him like he was meant to.

He doesn’t have the chance to go slow or just rejoice on that feeling, because Taehyung has his legs around his waist and he is making him move, for fuck’s sake. Jeongguk does, grabbing his by the hips and pushing all the way, fast, bottoming out. “Just move already.” He is impatient, his blondie, so he thrusts, tentatively, at first, watching his face. Taehyung seems annoyed, so soon he builds up the rhythm, pounding inside him harder and faster, listening to the sound of their skin slapping. Taehyung is loud, which must mean he had no sex at this apartment, because he is pretty sure the whole building is listening. He couldn’t care less, though, and his fingertips dig on his hip as he brings him to meet, moving inside him with force and velocity.

Taehyung arches his back off the bed when he hits his prostate. Perfect. He makes sure to keep doing it, bringing them closer to the edge, hands going to his ass, spreading him apart, exposing his hole even more as he watches his cock going inside and out, stretching him so good. Taehyung is whimpering, calling for him over and over and he feels himself get closer, so he stops. Hips faltering and movements slowing. Taehyung groans, angry, tries to movie his hips, but he holds him down. “Patient, baby boy.”

He doesn’t pull out, but he tests Taehyung’s flexibility, folding him in half basically, legs over his shoulders and starts moving again, driving inside of him with force and finally searching for his lips again. His hands fly to his hair, pulling it as they kiss. It’s long and falling of the bun he had on, all wild over his face and down almost to his shoulders. Their kiss is almost violent, as they chase for control and for even more pleasure. Jeongguk has his hands on his legs, holding then up and beside his hips, going for his knees to his thighs, feeling the plush skin. He let’s go at some point, going for his neck, pressing his thumb on his jaw bone, swallowing his moans and whimpers, sucking on his tongue.

They move perfectly in synch, Taehyung messing his hair even more, Jeongguk pressing his throat, caressing his nape, pulling on the hair there as they kiss and fuck and make love and everything in between. It's amazing and he doesn’t want it to end, but he can see his orgasm coming and Taehyung is mumbling nonsense between kisses. He feels like there’s ice in his veins and fire on his insides, sonic waves vibrating off his tailbone and going up, lighting up his body. Taehyung tastes, smells, feel great. He sounds great, he looks great. All of Jeongguk’s senses are tuned to him and it’s mind-blowing.

“Please, please.” He begs and Jeongguk can feel his hard cock pressed between their stomachs.

“You can come like this, blondie. It’s enough friction for you, I had you almost there before, c’mon. Show me how much you love my cock pounding into you. Your tight little hole full of me, don’t you like that? Do I make you feel full?” His hand pressed on Taehyung’s stomach and he sobs against his lips. “Come, baby, so tight around me that I will spill my load inside of you, have you dripping of me.”

Taehyung seems to like that image, because with a few more good thrusts right against his prostate, a slap on his thigh and rolling his lower lip between his teeth, and Jeongguk has his coming, spilling between their stomachs, trembling and hugging Jeongguk so tight against him. He fucks him through the waves, feeling him tighter, twitching around him and his eyes, his eyes look a little lost, like he is away from there for a second, sparkling and he smiles at Jeongguk and he is just so beautiful and alive and his body is against his, under him. He interlaces his fingers, hips still moving and he can feel the flame licking at him, ready to start the fire, and he thrusts deeper and harder and buries his face on Taehyung’s neck, feeling his release right there, as he cum deep inside Taehyung, hips still moving for a bit as he groans against his skin, leaving little bites on his shoulder. Taehyung runs his nails on his back, softly and Jeongguk feels like he just went to heaven or some shit like that.

Just like heaven, it feels. Must be like that, paradise.

He rolls off Taehyung, not wanting to crush him, slipping out of him. The blond is melted on the bed, limp, his breathing still heavy. “Fuck, that was good.”

Jeongguk nods, because he can’t really think of any words at that moment. He gets up, goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet cloth to clean them. Taehyung is already mushy and cozy on the bed, eyes heavy and Jeongguk cleans his stomach and between his thighs, before watching his cum dripping from his ass. “Jesus.” It’s weird, he never fucked without a condom before. Even when he was married, he was a bit neurotic about pregnancy, his own mother had him despite her birth control pills (not that she expresses regret). Hanna was the same and they never really got passed the ‘let’s have kids’ stage. He didn’t want them that young, he didn’t want surprises.

He comes out of his trance when Taehyung hums and cleans him the best he can. “Gukkie?” Taehyung asks, drowsy.

“Hey, beautiful. Do you want a shower?”

“Later.” He mumbles. Jeongguk pulls off the duvet, putting it in the laundry basket in the bathroom and grabs another to cover them. He puts on his underwear and does the same to Taehyung, who just hums, already all cozy with the new duvet.

“You want a shirt?”

He shakes his head. “I want some water.”

Jeongguk nods and he turns the lights off, leaving just the one from the bedside table lamp from his side. He goes to the kitchen, only for meet an equally drowsy Yeontan, who already complains he is not on Jeongguk’s arms. He has two need babies. He drinks a glass and pours one for Taehyung, taking the puppy alone. “Here. I brought Tan-ah to sleep with us.”

“You should bring him to live with us.”

Jeongguk laughs. “What?”

Taehyung is suddenly awake as he sits and drinks his water. Yeontan jumps on him and goes lie on the middle of the bed, waiting for them. “I was thinking before. I know it might look like it’s too soon. But we spent some time basically living together. I kind of stole your new place. Somewhere along the way, it became us. Our apartment, our bedroom, our roof, our view, our fireplace, our dog. I know you don’t have a place yet, Yoongi told me you are staying at a hotel. Just grab your stuff and come back here. You are working at home, trying to find a way to come back. You can be here, Tannie will give you company while I’m at the hospital. I will work normal hours because I have you to come back to.”

Jeongguk’s heart is hammering in his chest. “Do you want me to come here?”

“Yes. If it becomes too much, we can rethink this decision, but I’m sure it will be perfect. You can cook for me and I can wake you up with blowjobs. Or just wake up to you. I also can order food for us, I’m afraid the cooking thing will not work. We can cuddle like this, in bed. Just, be together, see why the universe had all this trouble to bring us together.”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Of course. I will get the key under the fire extinguisher tomorrow and make myself a copy. I don’t want to leave you, Taehyung. Never again. These last few weeks, even here at the apartment, were hell.”

“For me too, and I didn’t even remember you and everything we went through. I love you, Jeon Jeongguk. I can’t believe getting into a car accident and in a coma gave me the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Jeongguk lies on the bed, both of the getting closer and moving Yeontan to fit somewhere near their spooning position. “I love you, Kim Taehyung. I never thought I would be happy again. You brought me back to life. I want to be here for you.”

“Then that’s decided.”

“Yes, but then I will help you with payments and the bills, of course.”

Taehyung shushes him. “We can discuss all this money stuff tomorrow, daddy.” Jeongguk frowns as Taehyung giggles.

“Don’t call me that again.”

“We need to set the example for Tannie.”

“Shut up.” They both laughs, kissing each other. The puppy moves on the bed, whining. They stay there, just cuddling and it’s the most amazing moment. With the sunrise, it will come a new chapter of their lives, where there’s no rush, no danger, just them together, finally able to hold and love each other.

Months later

“Hey, you! What the hell are you doing?” Taehyung yells to this poor guy who was sadly putting the balloon arch in the wrong place. Jeongguk sneaks behind his boyfriend, hugging him, arms around his waist, chin on his shoulder.

“Sweetheart, breathe. Could you please let the poor boy make his own mistakes? I know you are nervous, but things are going very well. You can take those to the left corner, dude, sorry, he is stressed, please eat take a break after this and relax for a while.” He tells the guy, who nods. The poor kid is one of Jeongguk’s interns who he had hired as a freelance as well to help set up the party.

Jimin and Namjoon had arrived in Seoul yesterday evening and they had been settling down with the baby. Taehyung had planned a surprise party to welcome little Minsu to the family, like the little overachiever that he was. Jeongguk had offered his parents’ house for it. It was early spring and his parents had a beautiful garden. “I just want everything to be perfect.”

“What did we talk about though? If you are allowed to be bossy and neurotic until you give yourself an ulcer, we are going to need to punish you like Nari suggested and make you wear the princess crown and sash. You know the drill by now.”

“First of all, it's Uncle Princess sash. Second, this is my godchild we are talking about.”

“Yes, blondie. It’s a two-month-old baby that probably can’t tell the difference about teal, sapphire, cerulean and arctic. And won’t care if the balloon arch is on the left or right corner. Jimin and Namjoon are thinking Seokjin is picking them up for a nice gathering at our place, while in truth they will have this amazing party you made for them. It’s perfect already, now you should relax a bit. Maybe we can go upstairs and I can give you a massage.” He says, nuzzling his boyfriend’s neck.

Taehyung looks like he didn’t listen to a word he’s said. “They will be here soon, Jeongguk. There’s no time for you to be horny, did you put the cake at the center of the table? I left the measurements there; it should be perfect for pictures. Where’s your camera? I want pictures of them seeing it.” Taehyung huffs, trying to see behind Jeongguk.

“Yes, princess. I will get the crown with Nari.” He jokes, but actually looks for Nari, only to find her running around with her new favorite uncle Mimi (Yoongi hates Jeongguk for teaching her the nickname) and her grandmother. Mrs. Kim has been responding amazingly to her treatments, all doctors in the family hopeful for her full recovery soon.

In the end, Jeongguk almost missed their entrance, because he was too busy teasing Taehyung with his ‘I’m being too controlling’ crown and taking pictures of his adorable glare. That earned him a pinch in the thigh as the honor guests arrived. Taehyung and Jimin run to each other like they have spent a decade apart, Namjoon with Minsu in his arms.

The baby is quite adorable. He has traits of both of them. Jimin’s sister looks a lot like him, but Namjoon’s genes also come to play. Taehyung has him in his arms, eyes sparkling and Jeongguk can’t stop taking pictures of him.

“You look like you want one of those.” He hears a voice behind him. It’s Hoseok, that has become a sort of voice of reason to them all. He is extremely loyal and generous, making them all feel good with his good energy. And he absolutely creates havoc with the kids, Nari and Eunjin loving his supernatural stories.

“I never thought about it, but I like babysitting for the girls. And little Taehyung is also cute, I guess. But it’s too soon and Tannie is still young, he might get jealous. Tae said he doesn’t need kids right now, but I know he would like one. Makes me thing, I’m older now, still... it was what we fought about at the end.”

“It’s alright to change your mind about things, everything has the right time. Maybe just keep thinking about it, there’s still time and things will happen when they need to.” He tells Jeongguk. He is always cryptic like that at parties.

“What about you?”

“I have my gift. My mission here. I can’t be distracted by these human things like romance and families.”

“Lot of ghosts to reattach to bodies, have you?”

“Something like that. I can’t bask on the glory of uniting you two forever, life must go on.”

“I’m glad we are friends, Hoseok-hyung.”

Hoseok nods, before he goes and sits beside Taehyung at the couch, saying he has a gift for baby Minsu, only for his to bop his little nose as he shows him a crystal pendant for this nursery. For good omens, he says, giving it to Namjoon. Seokjin then complains that Taehyung has been monopolizing the baby and soon they are all conspiring to get him away.

Of course, he gets pouty until Seyeon gently hands him his namesake. He looks beautiful surrounded by little babies and they seem to love him just as much. What’s not to love? He bounces little Taehyung on his arms, walking closer to Jeongguk. “They smell amazing. Babies.”

“We should bottle it and sell them. I’m pretty sure it’s the shampoo though. I can buy you that.”

Taehyung giggles when the baby goes for his hair. “Hey, buddy. Careful.”

“Do you want a baby?”

“I have no plans about it, Jeongguk. You don’t have to worry; I know they scare you and you have all this baggage regarding kids. I’m not waiting to be a father, I am happy as I am, but I can’t say- maybe I would like to adopt, I don’t know. If I find the right one, to be chosen as their father. I’ll leave it to destiny, how about that?”

Jeongguk smiles. “I guess destiny is okay.”

“It got me you.”

Somewhere along time and space, steps roam on the hallway and the sound echoes across the skies. He slowly opens the door, letting some light enter the room. “Remiel, how are you?” Hoseok calls for his sister. “Or are you still thinking of yourself as Hanna?”

“Oh, Eros. I have been wondering if you would grace me with your presence.” She turns back, long black hair cascading down her white tunic. “You did it. I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to congratulate you.”

“I always do it, Remiel, I think you of all people should know that I have never failed at my job. I’m sorry you had to be hurt, but for me, all is fair in love and war.” He tells her.

“At least, he is happy again.” She says, finally looking at her brother. “I’ve had a long time to reflect on my actions. During the time I fell for the human I was sent to protect, I never thought that the possible punishment the Higher Beings would send my way would end up punishing him as much as me. I got too tempted by humans and their emotions, tried too much to be like them. I supposed I was selfish.”

“Foolish, maybe. We are not meant to love them, especially the ones that we guard. We get out of control, it’s too intense. But it happens to the best of us.”

She scoffs. “Even you?”

“Especially me, Remiel. I am love. I have fallen in love with many mortals in my day. Rarely attempted something, but even humans have created their stories. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. I fall in love every day, call me fickle. But still, I have learned to direct my love to couples, to finding them joy.”

“I thought I could get away with it if he loved me back. Didn’t realize he wasn’t able.”

“He did love you, in his way. But their love could only be delayed, not stopped. Their souls have been searching each other for many centuries, every life they have. This would be no different.”

“Yes, I realized that when he suggested divorce. I was a fool, thinking our love made me human. That I could love like they do. Feel like they do. It was destroying me, bit by bit. I thought I saw your face a couple of times. I guess you’ve always been there.”

“They are one of my favorites and I always protect them. This time, however, I had to improvise, but things sure went like they were supposed to. I’ve noticed you’ve interfered as well, letting him find the umbrella back, the rain that day on the beach. It was a nice touch.”

“I want them to be happy. I messed up, messed him up. Truth be told, now, the love I have has changed. It became protection again, that obsessive need for him to love me like I wanted, it was poison. I guess we all need to be tested.”

“Certainly. I’ve been sent here because your isolation is over, Remiel. You shall return to our plane and rejoice in our celebrations and soon you will be back to your duties. Our brothers and sisters have vouched for you and you shall return to protect another human in a while. This time, however, you won’t be sent as one of them.”

“Who shall I protect, brother?”

“A little girl was just conceived to be born on Earth. You will follow her in her life, she will be very important and will need your protection. She will be left at a hospital. The sweet doctor that helped deliver her will find her alone and he and his partner will adopt her, I suppose you can guess who they are. She will be named Hanna. Will you be able to perform your task?”

Remiel smiles, tears in her eyes. “Of course.”