Chapter Text
Neil Josten. An empty name in an empty house. Identity twenty three. Orphaned. Left to a near absent uncle. A man with a calm disposition. Perhaps shy or introverted. Trained in nonchalance. Practiced obliviousness. A redhead. Nothing. Nobody.
GhostCore. An internationally ranked EXY player. Nobody knows his real name or how old he is. What they do know is that he’s loud. Aggressive. Not willing to take anybody’s shit. His name is on the leaderboards every week. Placed high on Year One’s first tournament. Kitsune. Sharp teeth, sharp claws, sharp wit. A white haired, golden eyed dream boy, with red eyeliner to top it all off.
You wouldn't look at one and immediately think of the other.
Neil Josten had been nothing since the day he was created. He was scars under a shirt from a life he had technically never lived. There were very few things that made him feel alive. A year ago, he was annoyed by the idea of living vicariously through a video game avatar. The steady thrum of the electronic music in tandem with the fast pace of the moderator’s voice, he had to admit, did things for him though.
EXY was where Neil really felt alive. Only he wasn’t “Neil” in the game. He was GhostCore. Some top player with a smart mouth and a reaction time to rival the gods. It wasn’t on purpose that his persona became famous. Neil was a solo player just looking for a way out of his thoughts. He joined the game’s first tournament out of boredom, trying to find any excuse he could to avoid having to think about moving back to the States. The leaderboard was just a stupid side effect of a gaming addiction.
It was also an accident when Matt found out about his account. He had been discussing this year's lineup with Dan during one of their study sessions. Ever attentive, they noticed the second he began paying attention to the conversation. Almost like they saw his fox ears perking up at the word. They poked and prodded until Neil admitted he played. Matt had a difficult time trying to reconcile the ideas he had about the two sides of his personality.
The selkie in front of him seemed to have none of the same reservations, however. His smile was bright and his black eyes glittered in the pseudo sunlight. Neil’s eyes tracked the way he easily twirled the axe in his hands, a familiar sight on an unfamiliar body. Matt’s mannerisms were uncomfortably similar to what they were in real life. Replace the axe with a pencil and Neil wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Now that he knew the truth he wondered how he couldn’t connect the dots before. Matt couldn’t hide the spark of life that made him so lovable no matter how hard he tried.
As it was, Neil knew his avatar was around 5’10”, so he estimated that Matt was only around two inches taller. The closeness was jarring now that he could put a person behind the username. Pearls and ribbons formed a stark contrast where they were braided into his dark hair, more so against his grey skin. Neil had to consciously stop himself from swaying his tail in contentment at being near him.
Matt stood a couple yards away, the distance not marked by much but grass and small rocks. Trees and water surrounded them on each side. A stream fanned out into a large lake behind Neil. On the other side, behind Matt, stood a large wooden tower maybe five stories tall. Neil knew foxes could climb towers but the height seemed a bit excessive for the game they were playing. Bright white numbers flashed in his line of vision, drawing him back to listening to the commentary.
“Players have five minutes to defend the territory behind them. Once the five minutes are over, they have the chance to race to their respective crystal. Whoever reaches the Fate Sanctuary first wins the game.
If within the five minutes a player manages to kill the other, they get an automatic win.
After the five minutes, players are still allowed to attack the other. Tampering with the boundaries is allowed.”
Matt rushed forward the second the countdown hit zero, slamming the blunt end of his axe into Neil’s side. Neil went sprawling into the rough grass. He barely managed to close his metal fans on the way down and dug them into the dirt instead of using his hands. Neil was able to use the momentum to flip onto his feet and put some distance between them. Cool air burned his lungs as he heaved in shallow breaths. The hit would’ve definitely broken something if this was a real fight. Neil didn’t need to see his HP bar to know it hurt like a motherfucker.
Matt tried closing the gap with another wide swing, only for Neil to block the strike with his fans. The sound of metal on metal was grating to his sensitive ears.
The axe only lifted enough to gain momentum on the next strike. Thinking quickly, Neil dropped into a crouch and spun on his heel. He opened his fans as he did so and sliced into Matt’s exposed thighs. Matt hissed through bared teeth and opted to switch to his bladed brass knuckles.
Neil tried getting away but was unsuccessful as Matt looped one arm around his throat in a tight chokehold. He tried to remain as stable as possible. If he moved Matt’s arm that only guaranteed slashes across his hands or face. Matt pressed his knees into the back of Neil’s. Strength was not on Neil’s side here. As Matt started dragging him down to the floor, Neil stabbed his fans into the wounds on his thighs. Instead of letting go like Neil had hoped, Matt slammed his forehead into the back of Neil’s skull and let Neil drop like a sack of flour.
Neil unsheathed his rapier and swiped at Matt every time he got too close. His vision swayed and he needed a moment to be able to steady himself. Dark blood was oozing out of their gashes and if Neil didn’t know any better he might have been concerned. Once his vision was clear he summoned flames between his fingertips and lit the area around the lake until it was all smoldering.
Curiosity laced Matt’s expression as he stopped his attacks. He manipulated the water in the lake as best he could to open new entrances for him to get through. Whenever he made a successful hole in Neil’s defense Neil would urge the flames higher. While Matt was distracted Neil tried to lunge at him blade first. Unfortunately, Matt was able to sidestep and brought his fist down on Neil’s exposed back. The momentum was too great for either of them to stop forcing them both to topple over.
Matt attempted to grab at Neil’s head and ended up with a fistfull of fuzzy ears. Neil couldn’t tell you why but his first instinct was to bite him. They both paused in their fighting and looked at each other with equally shocked expressions. Laughter threatened to bubble out of Neil’s throat as reality struck. Two hours ago, they were at the library trying to figure out finances for their pretend company. Now Neil was biting Matt out of reflex.
Bells signaled the end of the five minutes. Time had passed much quicker than Neil had anticipated. Matches were more fun to watch when opponents were able to completely obliterate the other, but neither was sure how many hits it would actually take to end the fight. Neil was sadly a runaway at his core no matter how much he tried to deny that the instincts had stayed. He sprinted towards the tower without even checking on Matt. It was difficult to fight the grimace that came with digging his claws into the rough wood of the pillar.
Neil was unsteady as he climbed. The pain in his ribs was enough to make him mildly nauseous. It was nothing compared to the actual pain that he had been through with his physical body, but pain was unpleasant whether or not he had had it worse before. He hoped momentarily that the injuries he had inflicted on Matt had slowed down his swimming at least. Also that Dan wouldn’t be too mad at him for hurting her boyfriend.
Climbing became more difficult the higher he went. There were barely any footholes and his fingers ached from the strain. Neil didn’t bother pulling himself up onto the flat part of the tower. He reached blindly once he was within grabbing range and let himself fall back towards the ground. Wind rushed past his ears as he typed in the coordinates. It was almost relaxing if not for the extensive amounts of blood he was losing. You win some, you lose some. Neil hoped he was winning.
The heady electronic music was gradually replaced by the soft tune of the Fate Sanctuary. Neil hadn’t realized he had closed his eyes but opened them to find himself standing center stage. He whipped his head around to see if he could spot Matt and was relieved to find he was alone. Neil sighed a breath of relief and rubbed a bloody hand down his face. That was a bad idea.
It had been a while since Neil had been in the same position for the first time. Every round left him with the same light feeling in his chest. Bright lights danced over the heads of the crowd that had gathered to see him play. Players walked the streets of the market place in front of him, buying armor and weapons like it was a casual evening. Small dragons zipped around people while nymphs played in the fountains. From his position on stage it was like he could see the entire safe zone. Neil smiled to himself. It was brief and hesitant. The crowd was proud of him. They cheered for him. He was someone to them.
Matt was just starting to materialize next to him when the commentator, MadeCyber, approached. He was a familiar face by now. Always had a smile plastered on no matter how many times Neil was rude to him. It wasn’t always intentional on Neil’s part. Giving interviews just ticked off every box he had grown to be wary of from his time on the run. Personal details were a big no no. He barely accepted admitting he played to Matt and Dan.
Cyber’s steps were smooth and confident as they always were. His eyes darted behind Neil and he stopped a few feet farther than usual. Neil hadn’t gotten the chance to finish turning around before being swiftly knocked on his ass by Matt.
“Hey! The fights over,” Neil wheezed.
“I know,” Matt squeezed him tighter, “I’m just so proud of you.”
At that, Cyber lit up like a Christmas tree. “Well Ghost, it seems you know him?” He mimicked pulling an imaginary microphone closer to his lips as he smirked. “Made a friend?”
Neil casually dragged his gaze to him, to Matt, and back at him. “Well I would hope so or this would be very awkward wouldn’t it? We did just spend the last ten minutes trying to murder each other, by default I would say I do know of him.”
Cyber leaned the microphone towards Matt as he pulled himself off Neil. “Do you think you’re friends gentle_giant?” Neil had the audacity to swipe the imaginary microphone away from his hands.
Matt looked at him with big, playful eyes and a teasing smile on his face. He loosely grabbed for Neil again only to have his hands slapped away too as Neil muttered, “You’re ruining my reputation.”
The crowd below laughed and eased the tension out Neil’s shoulders briefly. He had relaxed almost completely when Cyber told the crowd that Neil would be moving onto the next round.
Neil covered his mouth from the cameras while leaning closer to Matt. “Sorry for kicking you out of the tournament. You did really well.”
“It’s just for fun. And no offense dude but I’d let you murder me in real life if you asked.”
Neil flicked him on the forehead for his trouble.
“Besides,” Matt continued, “it’s nice to get to hear you talk. You never really interact with us during school and you have a great voice. I should have recognized it earlier. I love your clips.”
Neil smiled sheepishly. “I’ll pay you back for it somehow. I do feel guilty about it.”
Cyber had a look on his face as he turned back to them that Neil knew meant trouble. He always had the same expression when he knew he was going to ask something he was probably going to get yelled at for. “Do either of you ever plan on streaming? Our camera crew does an amazing job of recording our fights but I’m sure a lot of our audience-“
“No,” Neil cut him off sharply. He almost felt bad when he noticed Matt tensing beside him at the bitter tone. “How many times do I have to spell it out? I don’t play EXY for you. I play it because I want to. The more people hound me to stream the less I want to do it.”
He grabbed Matt’s wrist and dragged him down the stage and away from the crowd. Neil took in a slow breath before turning to face Matt. There was a look of awe on his face that Neil almost started pouting at.
“What,” he asked. His voice was considerably softer than he had expected. This time he was unable to hide the swish of his tail under his skirt.
“It’s just so cool to see… you. Doing what you do best. Something you care about.”
Neil clasped his hands together tightly. “I’m not a celebrity,” he said.
Dan’s voice cut in cheerfully. “You really, really are. Matt totally is. I filmed the entire game and I am certain I wasn’t the only one. There’s gonna be so many clips and gifs online once we log off.”
“I’ll treasure them forever,” Matt added dreamily.
Neil petulantly stuck his tongue out at them. While he had never played with either of them before today, it wasn’t difficult to tell that Dan was the person behind her avatar. She had the same dark skin, warm brown eyes, and coily black hair. The only difference was that her character had green highlights meshed in throughout her hair. His eyes drifted slowly to the orange fox insignia she wore on her bicep. captain_foxtroyt.
There wasn’t a better leader in sight for the ragtag group. Notorious for having famous assholes that were difficult to get along with. Like him.
Dan must’ve been tracking his movements. As if on cue, she asked, “Are you still coming by to see the Foxhole?”
“Dude, you have to. Please. You’re literally a kitsune. You’d be perfect for our guild.”
The puppy dog expression probably would’ve worked better with regular eyes. Pupils and scleras. Dan laid a gentle hand on Matt’s wrist.
“You don’t have to join if you don’t want to. Just come check it out. Meet some of our friends. It’s okay to want to be a solo player. Seeing us online once in a while won’t kill you, would it?”
Neil had to think about it. He was lucky that the two of them had gotten used to him within the couple of weeks that they’ve known each other. They were a kind and respectful pair both in public and behind closed doors. His safety and comfort were top priorities to them. Neil knew he didn’t need to be babied but being cared for, for once, was nice. He wasn’t used to the feeling.
It wasn’t that Neil didn’t like people. All around he thought people were fine. He could be a person in the barest sense of the word. Being on the run let him study people and mimic them until he could blend in seamlessly. Playing alone was his thing though and had been for months. Since the start he had been using the game as a healthy form of escapism. Neil liked to run when he could, but when it was dark and rainy he wasn’t sure he would come home if he left. It was therapeutic to play EXY, forming online connections felt like a betrayal of that trust.
The way they looked at him made him question if he was doing the right thing. Neil really didn’t think they would press if he said no. They would tell him that it was okay and meet him tomorrow at the library like nothing happened. While he wasn’t really interested in joining the guild, it opened a lot more possibilities than he had when playing alone.
He fought the urge to rub his eyes again and met their expectant expressions before glancing back at the stage, towards Cyber talking the crowd through different highlights and keeping up the high energy. The way he talked about future matches left Neil wanting to listen in. Matt didn’t seem upset with him. Neil hoped he would tell him if he was.
“I told you I owed you one. I’ll check out your guild.”
“That’s all I could ask,” Matt said.
“The offer to stay doesn’t expire either. If you decide you like it.”
He let the two of them lead him to the Foxhole Guild House without complaint. It was large and a little bit ugly at three stories tall. Unlike most of the other houses it wasn’t overly fancy or excessive. Perhaps it could have been nice if another guild had inhabited it. Large windows lined the front wall, sunlight streaming in through the glass while outsiders weren’t allowed to see in. Most of the building was wooden, doors included, with stone lining the edges in faux support. It seemed like it could do with some more regular upkeep, and considering it was a video game that only meant removing old posters and changing tattered banners with the seasons.
The inside was nicer. It was somewhere Neil could clearly see Dan and Matt spending their free time. Relaxing with friends and enjoying the spoils of war. Lanterns were strung up along the walls for when the windows were closed or night fell. A chandelier hung low over one of the tables. It was comfortable. Warmth radiated out from the fireplace in a way that didn’t feel overbearing. Ornate rugs covered the floor. Two couches and three chairs surrounded a large coffee table. Flowers grew in pots littered around the place. There was a half wall that opened into the kitchen area accompanied by a large wooden dining table currently being overtaken by gold and jewels. A few heavy blankets were stacked next to the entrance. In the corner was a hall down to the staircase and possibly some extra rooms.
Once his handlers had decided he had his fill of looking around, they pulled him back into conversation.
“You guys are bleeding all over my floor. Let’s get you some potions.”
Matt and Neil made similar squeaks of protest. They elbowed each other for it causing Dan to sigh loudly. It was strange to have her scowl up at him, not that she scowled often in real life. Neil and Matt trailed after her to the kitchen while trying not to drip onto the decorative rugs. When she opened the fridge a menu popped up with five different options. He watched as she selected two blue bottles and handed them over.
“Are you sure I can have this? I’ll find my own if you want me to.”
“You’re our guest. Rules of hospitality say you must drink it.”
He eyed the bottle warily before downing it. Health potions were something he really wished he had in real life. Only being able to virtually experience a body without scars made him sick sometimes.
Once Dan had considered their HP sufficiently raised and their wounds effectively gone, she wrangled the two of them into sitting with her by the fire. Before they had the opportunity to start talking, the door to the guild house opened and four men entered the room in a line. Neil hadn’t heard it before but he could tell their conversation had died as soon as they spotted him.
At the front of the line was a face Neil, and every other gamer, recognized. Kevin Day, or K.D.Queen, in all his motherless glory. A small part of Neil immediately felt the urge to leave. It was difficult to remember that Kevin had absolutely no way to recognize who he was on a virtual level. Knowing that his body was safely confined in his uncle's mansion.
Kevin’s avatar looked a lot like he did in person from the same facial structure, height, and build that Neil recognized from his interviews both on TV and in magazines. The similarities ended there as emerald eyes were replaced by ruby. His usually short black hair was streaked with gold and red. A hooded cape clipped onto dragon scale armor, in which the edges of it seemed to catch fire when he moved. His clawed gloves held on tightly to a fox figurine.
Behind him was a slightly shorter man. Pale skinned with fluffy white blond hair. Neil thought his eyes were topaz. It was hard to tell from a distance. The only reason he noticed his eyes was because there was a distinct lack of pupils in the metallic color. His clothes were flowy and loose. Sleeveless arms only protected by a feather cape. A similarly feathered laurel crown sat on his head. Instead of shoes, his feet were wrapped with gauze. Golden chokers, bracers, and leg armor reflected the firelight. A glowing dove perched on his finger. Neil had to squint to see his username and came up with minyardMD.
After Minyard was a fairy. queerencia was a sight all on his own with his iridescent dragonfly wings. His eyes were different colors, one green and one brown. Smooth tan skin and dark curly hair reminded Neil of the forest fae he had seen last week. He was the shortest of the four.
The last one to enter was another face Neil could recognize in his sleep. He had never talked to Medusas_Memory but he knew a great deal about him as the man was one of the few players Neil had googled after the first tournament. He was taller than Neil. A purple skinned tiefling with fangs, a prehensile tail, and solid red eyes. The avatar was heavily decorated with rings around his curved horns and amulets hanging off his body. Neil thought it was interesting that the man changed his avatar’s hair often. Two weeks ago it was in short waves. Today it was a long braid. He could faintly see carvings etched into his bracers.
The tiefling was almost as bad, if not worse, than Neil was with interviews. He always acted like he didn’t know where he was or feigned confusion at not knowing EXY was a game. He ranked top ten in the matches. If Neil was on the leaderboards accidentally, he thought maybe the demon was there out of spite. Neil didn’t say it out loud, he was barely able to admit to himself, but Medusa was probably as close to a celebrity crush as he could get. He obsessively consumed content about Kevin sure, but content about the Monster was mindless self indulgence. Neil didn’t do romance or crushes. He did obsession. Neil kept his face as neutral as he could, a shitty attempt to look indifferent. It took longer than he would’ve liked for him to peel his eyes away from Medusa and watch as the fairy approached.
“Dan, you didn’t tell me you were friends with GhostCore. I thought Cyber was totally wrong about the whole thing I mean,” the words all rushed out in one breath. He rocked on his feet and inhaled deeply before continuing, “You did really well. The fight against Matt was super impressive. Especially considering he’s one of our tank players.”
Neil tilted his head. He didn’t know how to respond as it took him longer than he would’ve liked for the words to process. Dan held up a hand to the fairy to slow him down.
“This is Nicky. I’ve told you about him before,” Dan stage whispered.
“So you do know each other. That’s cool.” Nicky offered Neil a hand to shake, which he did so carefully. He pointed to every member of the line that he entered with. They had all been standing awkwardly by the door watching the exchange. “That’s Kevin, Aaron, and Andrew by the way.”
“Nice to meet you all,” Neil said softly. He felt uncomfortable with all their gazes on him. It was a strange feeling to follow up the earth shattering energy he received from knowing so many people watched his games. Acknowledging that viewers were real people always sent him for a loop. Neil glanced at Dan and Matt for help but they just looked excited that he was trying.
Aaron snorted. “With the way you act in front of all the cameras you’d assume you had more personality.”
Neil’s head snapped back to face him. He almost didn’t deign him with a response. The instigator in him protested that idea. “Because you’ve definitely given me reason to show my sparkling personality. Hello. I’m here. Wow. That’s so special of me. Existing in the same room as you. Get on your knees and praise me. You can definitely handle any comments I throw at you. Let me get Cyber so you can help him do interviews.”
The response was immediate, each reaction somehow surprising the one that did it. Nicky laughed so hard he had to cover his mouth as he doubled over. Matt pulled Neil closer into his side as Dan stared with poorly contained amusement. Andrew and Kevin raised their eyebrows and exchanged a knowing look. Aaron both seemed satisfied and a little frustrated with that response. In Neil’s defense, it is what he asked for. The blond turned and walked right out the door without bothering to reply to him.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Matt said “Nicky” at the same time Andrew said “Watch it.”
Kevin and Andrew sat at the kitchen table. They didn’t expressly make themselves part of the group but they were close enough to be involved if they wanted to. Neil focused his attention back on those seated with him and tried not to feel his cheeks burning at the fact that he said that. In front of his classmates. And Kevin. And Andrew. Fuck.
“So,” Nicky prompted, “what’s your name? Is that too forward?”
“You’ve given me your names, it’s only fair I return the favor. My name is Neil.”
“So Neil,” Nicky said the name slowly like he was feeling it out, “where did you meet these guys?”
“I go to college with them. Matt and Dan are working with me on a business project.”
“They’re good people,” Nicky said sagely, “very smart.”
“We better be, or you’re doing the errands for the next month,” Dan teased.
The conversation stopped when Kevin spoke. From the table, he asked, “Are you becoming a fox?”
All eyes fell on Neil. He tugged on his collar and hoped his face radiated strength he wasn’t feeling. “I don’t know yet. I’m not sure I want to. I promised Matt to check it out, that’s all.”
“You can do a quest with one of us or something! Maybe spend some time with all of us as a group and see how it goes?”
Neil considered it for a moment. Before he could answer, Andrew cut in. “I frequently go on solo quests to the Hidden Isles. If you want to come you can.”
Everyone froze at that. Neil slowly looked over at him and met his eyes. Andrew was relaxed in his seat. Quiet confidence radiated off his person like he already knew what Neil would say. The others seemed shocked that Andrew had offered at all. Neil assumed the invitation wasn’t given often.
“Wow Andrew, I didn’t know you were a team player,” Nicky tried.
“I’m not.”
“I’ll try not to step on your toes then,” Neil shrugged.
“You should. My boots were expensive.”
“What exactly do these quests entail?”
The silence from the rest of the group was off putting to say the least. Either way, nobody seemed eager to try to stop them. He trusted that his classmates would tell him if it was a bad idea. At best he hoped they wouldn’t hang around someone that continuously made them uncomfortable. Neil having been fixated on Andrew for so long only helped plead his case. The foxes seemed interested in the way this would play out, if not nervous.
“It depends. They’re less premade quests and more personal adventures. Going through all the abandoned buildings and areas to sift through the information. I’m heading out this weekend if you plan to go.”
Andrew seemed uninterested as he sent Neil a friend request. As though it wasn’t his idea. Neil tried to look just as unaffected as he clicked the check on the notification. He never thought he would get here. Nor did he think it would have been that easy. As soon as he accepted the request, Dan and Matt let out twin whines.
“You accept Andrew’s but not ours?”
“It’s so we can form a party on our ‘quest’.”
“It’s for the greater good,” Nicky tried.
“We’re the greatest good he’ll ever get.” Matt pretended to wipe away tears.
Neil looked up to see Andrew smirking, the look almost immediately brushed away.
“Tomorrow we’ll all meet here and visit the carnival. If Neil decides he likes it then he can stay. If he gets overwhelmed and decides only to play with Andrew for a while then leave it. I’d rather have someone who cares for the team in the guild tournament.”
Dan gave Kevin a weak nod in response. Of course the son of the creator knew how to play the game best. Neil still had a difficult time looking at him, but something small released in him as he heard Kevin defend him.
As the night grew longer, Neil began to feel more comfortable with the other foxes. It was easier to pretend to be a person when all he had to do was fit the preconceived notions they already had about him. His knowledge of the other players was enough to know what he should say to get on their good sides. If he got quiet or too deep into his thoughts, Dan and Matt were there to take over and let him recharge. By the end of it all, Neil had a room in the house. An open invitation to stay. In the long run that meant nothing. He was nothing. Just a pretty thing floating by.