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Even the nights in Kirkwall were almost unbearably hot these days but it mattered little to the two bodies entwined on top of the covers in the decrepit Hightown mansion. They were comfortable, their skin slick with sweat from the heat and the wanton acts they had performed on and off during the day and into the night.
'Not hating magic so much now, are you?' Anders quipped, followed by a lick along his lover's neck, ending just at that sensitive spot right underneath the ear.
Despite his efforts, the question earned him one of the familiar sighs of exasperation Fenris was so good at before he answered, 'I never denied that magic had its uses. Just as I've not denied that I believe that it invariably corrupts the weak and power hungry in the end.'
'Do you still think me weak then?' Anders asked, leisurely stroking the elf's hip, but Fenris caught his wrist, twisted gently and pushed the blonde man onto his back before he descended on top of him.
'I believe you are a danger to yourself and others, yes,' Fenris replied calmly.
They stared at each other for a few heartbeats. Several emotions flickered over the mage's features, creating a deep line between his eyebrows that proofed that he hadn't expected this response.
'Well, I better get out of your way then!' It was obvious that the words had stung but Anders didn't struggle hard enough to get out from underneath him, only forcing Fenris to pin his wrists to the bed, which confirmed what the warrior had been suspecting all along.
'And you know it,' he concluded out loud.
Anders abruptly seized his resistance and tried stubbornly to hold his lover's calm gaze before he had to admit defeat. He closed his eyes and turned his head away.
'Then why am I here, and more importantly, in your bed if you find me so disagreeable?'
Fenris allowed the corner of his mouth to quirk. 'Because you are hot.'
Anders' eyes snapped open. It was quite funny to watch how he struggled to keep his expression angry and insulted when it was so obvious that he wanted to smile and preen.
To his credit he kept his voice at least mock insulted when he retorted, 'That's it? You only want me for my body?'
Now it was Fenris turn not to smile but he had more practice at it, so he only cocked his head slightly and said, 'That's right,' but before Anders could finishing gasping and resume his efforts to get away he added, 'and you keep me busy.'
Anders face contorted into a frown. 'Busy? You mean how I can distract you from brooding and smouldering with this?'
The touch of magic at the small of his back made Fenris gasp and arch against his lover's body. His cock twitched against the mage's thigh as the molten pleasure spread through him all the way from ears to toes. How had Anders slipped his hand out of his grasp? That had to be corrected.
'Mage!' Fenris snapped and recaptured Anders' hand.
'You like that, hn?'
'Shut up!' Fenris replied and leaned in to kiss that smug grin off Anders' face.
When he eventually lifted his head, the healer looked well and truly snogged. Lips dark red, and a delicious blush on his cheeks that had nothing to do with the room temperature, and judging by the hard cock twitching against Fenris' leg, everything to do with how much he wanted his lover to continue.
But first they needed to re-establish some rules. 'Do you need me to discipline you again? I remember distinctly that we agreed that you only experiment on me with your magic when I say you can.'
Something had lit in Anders' eyes when he'd said 'discipline' that made Fenris want to fuck him through the mattress. He had sworn he would never again be a mage's thrall but here he was, completely unable to resist another one's desires, and not mind.
He didn't mind. He was well and truly fucked.
This mage, this gorgeous, foolish, infuriating man beneath him wanted him despite all his short-comings despite their differences but most importantly, he needed Fenris to watch over him even if he didn't want to acknowledge it yet. And, Maker forgive him, Fenris wanted it no other way.
*~*
They ended up back to front with Anders' sitting in Fenris' lap, one lyrium branded hand stroking him counter to the movements as Anders fucked himself on Fenris' cock.
He allowed the mage to set the pace but every time Anders came close, Fenris would seize his ministrations to keep his lover on the edge for as long as possible. He enjoyed too much how the blonde man struggled to find completion, enjoyed how the mage started to curse him in three languages until he finally broke.
'Please, oh please, you bastard!' Fenris had waited for this moment finally relenting control and giving his lover what he so desperately needed.
Anders came undone, the elf watching over his shoulder as he spurted ropes of white onto his chest.
So fucking hot. Fenris wanted to taste him, devour him, claim him.
He didn't give Anders time to recover as he pushed the mage forward and began pounding into him in earnest. Close, he was so close.
'Fenris.' His name on Anders lips was enough. He shattered and let himself get carried away on a current of bliss as he wrapped himself even tighter around the body beneath him.
*~*
'Fenris?'
'Hm?'
'I need to tell you something but I'm afraid that you won't like it.'
Fenris opened his eyes to find Anders lying on his side facing him, their noses almost touching.
'That's hardly anything new between us,' Fenris replied. He felt so warm and sated and not in the mood for pillow-talk or a fight for that matter but he already knew that he wouldn't get around it now.
Predictably, Anders sat up with a huff. 'I'm serious.'
'You always think you are.' Fenris mumbled into his pillow before he pushed himself up as well.
'That's not true, you know. I was known for not being serious at all, ask anyone.' Anders took pride in odd things but Fenris had gotten used to it by now.
'Fine.'
'Now you're just humouring me.' Anders sure as hell knew how to ruin the mood when he set his mind to it.
'Mage.' Fenris tolerance for his lover's idiosyncrasies had increased over time but even a piece of string had two ends and they were close to reaching both now.
'You were right,' Anders blurted out. 'Before, I mean, earlier when you said...' Anders swallowed as if the words were choking him.
Fenris understood anyway. The demon had gained more influence over Anders' mind in the past few months and he was starting to lose the battle. It's why he needed someone to take care of him, to watch him, and finally, to do what was necessary should the worst happen.
'You were there when I almost killed that girl. Justice is gone. Or maybe not gone but he has become something else and I feel his anger burning away everything that was rational and good about the fight we've started. I am an abomination and a failed Warden and I haven't got much time left but I am also a man.' Anders raised his eyes and they were full of sadness and something else.
'None of these things are news to me. I am well aware who I am sharing my bed with, mage.' Fenris replied calmly.
'I know that you know,' Anders said with a hint of frustration. 'That's not my point.'
'Again, something I am familiar with. You talk a lot but say only little.' Fenris added in an ill attempt to lighten the mood.
As expected it had rather the opposite effect. 'That's not funny.'
In for a bit, in for a sovereign. 'And yet so accurate.'
Instead of throwing a tantrum which would have fit the usual scenario, Anders simply climbed over Fenris and out of bed.
'You don't need to run away.' The warrior said as he watched his lover snatch his shirt from the floor.
'I'm not running, I'm leaving. I might not have much but I do have a shred of pride left. I was trying to tell you something important but all you do is mock me. I might as well have bedded Hawke or Isabela for that matter if...'
Fenris cut Anders off by wrapping his arms around his lover's waist when he had turned his back to slip his shirt over his head.
'I'm sorry.' Neither of them said this often, both too stubborn and proud to even give the other an inch but it was sometimes necessary.
Anders sighed and let the shirt fall back to the floor, his arms hanging by his side, pointedly not wrapping themselves around Fenris' in return but also not trying to escape.
They stood like this for several heartbeats, listening to the other breathe before Anders spoke again.
Fenris stilled. He had heard the words come out of his lover's mouth but his mind refused to grasp their full meaning yet.
When Anders turned around in his embrace to face him, Fenris actually released him altogether and took a few steps back until he ran out of room.
'I told you, you wouldn't like it.' Anders said with a small smile that didn't quite chase the sadness out of his eyes.
After everything the mage knew about Fenris, his past, his beliefs, what he had done, how was it possible that he had fallen in love with him? Sharing someone's bed was one thing but sharing your heart?
Fenris had never let anyone close. Ever since Seheron where the warrior had learned that another's touch could bring pleasure as well as pain, he had indulged whenever his life on the run had presented him with the opportunity.
Hawke thought he was a prude or virgin simply because he had never returned any of the rogue's advances and unlike other people Fenris was more discreet about his conquests.
He had had his fair share of men and women in the past until he had met a blonde, possessed apostate who got on his nerves more than anything. Who argued about the colour of the sky and the rights of mages and why oh why Fenris was in love with him as well he would never understand. What was it the Fog Warriors taught their young?
Sometimes you have to stop running and face the tiger!
'I shouldn't have told you. Not after everything we talked about. You were right I am an abomination and a danger to others and my feelings...'
'Say it again,' Fenris interrupted Anders' flustered stammering.
'I love you.' The blonde man said without hesitation. The way you can only say things that you knew in your heart were the truth.
Fenris stepped forward until he could reach out and take his lover's face in between the palms of his hands. He had never spoken those words to anyone, and just parroting them back would not really achieve to convey the deep and sometimes conflicting feelings he had for Anders.
But he could say this instead. 'I promise you, I'll be with you. I promise you that no matter what happens you'll not be alone. If you let me, I'll stand by your side. And if you need me to, I'll give you a good death.' When Anders tried to speak Fenris silenced him with a quick kiss before he continued.
'I'll let you go beyond the veil if I've tried everything in my power to save you and there is no other way to end your suffering. But until then, you are stuck with me.'
When Anders kissed him back instead of trying to flee or kill him, Fenris figured he hadn't done too badly.
'I think I can live with that.' Anders finally replied, sounding happy and breathless. 'But I still haven't actually made my point.'
Fenris raised an eye-brow. 'You haven't made your point? That wasn't your point?'
'Well, yes, but there is more. I have a proposition of my own to make.' Anders confessed, eyes practically sparkling with mischief.
'Now that I have to hear.' Fenris said, enjoying how all the traces of sadness had vanished from his lover's face.
'Run away with me!'
This tiger would be the death of him, Fenris knew it. Even if he was an ageing tomcat who argued and complained too much but, by the Maker, he could make Fenris laugh.
*~*
A merchant ship left for Dairsmuid a few days later, carrying red steel and silverite and two passengers. One an elf with exotic tattoos and a broadsword, the other an apostate who talked too much. They were holding hands whenever they thought no-one was watching.