Chapter Text
There was a boy. A little boy that used to run from his father´s lap to his mother´s arms. He would giggle the entire way until he was safe in that delicate but secure hug. His mother would get him up and spin a few times until both were dizzy with laugh and the man of the family smiling. In that moment, the boy thought he would be infinite, surrounded by the familiarity of love.
But things didn’t work that way, the storm always come, no matter how safe a child thinks they are. And then, suddenly and in the middle of the night, the kid was alone. No more laps, arms, or hugs. No more laughs or gentle smiles. The familiarity of love was replaced by the routine of barely slept nights, of rude people yelling at him to go away, the roughness of a life in the streets.
And the boy, who never stopped smiling despite every reason he had to cry, saw himself forgetting the voices of his loved ones. Their faces, the happy moments. Perhaps he was supposed to live a life of broken memories.
*
It wasn’t even the middle of the day yet, and Wei Wuxian was already having to calm down a very grumpy Hanguang-Jun.
They were in the edges of Yummeng, making their way back to Cloud Recesses after a long day in Lotus Pier. It had become a habit that in a certain time of the year, Jiang Cheng would start sending letters pretending to be concerned about the politic in the cultivational world, and the couple would visit Yummeng unannounced, pretending they were not there to see a certain stubborn Sect Leader. The visits were often odd, the tense relationship between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji helping nothing in the already shaken brotherhood. More often than not, Wei Wuxian would end up having to calm his husband down, while his nephew – well, he hoped Jin Ling was calming Jiang Cheng, and not adding fuel to the flame. But hey! They haven’t actually stabbed each other this time so, baby steps, right?
This time in specific he had to give Lan Wangji some credits. His brother had started shouting about how lazy and useless he had been in his time as head disciple, and the man managed not to utter a word besides a very blank expression until they were outside the gates. He wasn’t speaking much still, to be fair, but the way his shoulders were stiff didn’t leave space to doubts about how truly displeased he was.
“Laaan Zhan”, silence, utterly ignored. “Lan Zhan!” Not even a head movement to show he was listening. “Lan Wangji! Hanguang-Jun! If this goes on a little longer, I will start feeling nostalgic about our time as students, it wasn’t that different from what it´s happening right now.” His stubborn husband proceeded to look straight ahead. “Oh no, yes I remember now, it was a bit different, in that time you would get flustered the moment I teased you and now you are an expert at ignoring your poor, neglected husband.”
He was about to give a fake sniff, trying his best to hear a ´ridiculous´, when the other one turned to him.
“Not neglected.” His eyes had softened since they were in Jiang Cheng´s presence, but they were still intense. Together with the beautiful view and Yummeng´s heat, Wei Wuxian almost swayed right there.
“Fair, not neglected but you can´t be mad with my brother forever, Lan Zhan. He wasn’t even being mean for real this time, it was just how he knows to express himself, he have always been like that.” Lan Wangji huffed inaudibly, but it was enough for Wei Wuxian to be amused. “Fine! Stubborn man, what do you want to do then? We can´t murder a sect leader, Lan Zhan. No matter how stunning you are, not even you can get rid of a murder without consequences.”
“Ridiculous.” Oh, there it was, finally. Lan Wangji´s eyes softened in that way he loved. “Do not like when he does not appreciate Wei Ying.” He unsheathed Bichen and pulled Wei Wuxian closer. “And I want to go home.”
So home they went.
*
Or not. Apparently, the goddess had planned the day specifically to put the Second Jade of Lan in a bad mood. They haven’t even reached the gates when a commotion of white robes and scared faces came into sight. The couple exchanged a concerned gaze before going in the junior´s direction.
“Hanguang-Jun! Senior Wei!” The disciples bowed nervously. In the past years, Wei Wuxian had met disciples enough to make his head dizzy with names that he never remembered. He loved them, loved the serious way they treated every subject, the devotion they had to each other and to their home. Mostly, he loved how all of them had simply chosen to turn a deaf ear to Lan Qiren orders that they stood away from the Yiling Patriarch, and instead they all constantly invited him to go on night hunts. So when the juniors greeted them without looking in their eyes, some of them even looking like they wanted to fly to somewhere far from there, he frowned.
His questioning gaze didn’t last long, though, because in moments a very pale Lan Sizhui pushed through the crowd and reached the seniors. He was limping notably, and his white and blue robes were stained red in the bottom part. Wei Wuxian´s eyes widened, and he felt his husband tense beside him before he took in the other aspects of Lan Sizhui. He was pale, yes, but not faintly, and the blood in his robes, although being a concerning amount, were coming from his right leg, where the cloth was teared. It was not a life-risking injure.
“Sizhui! What happened?” Wei Wuxian asked while moving to his side and supporting him, so he didn’t need to press on the wrong foot. How heavily the boy leaned on him was prove of how much pain he was actually in, only masking it just like Hanguang-Jun always did in the youth. Stubborn man, and stubborn boy.
“Hanguang-Jun. Senior Wei.” The kid managed to bow with his head, even half laying in his senior. “This one apologizes, for he wasn’t able to deal with the task he was in charge of.”
Before either Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji could respond, more disciples, apparently having gained confidence by not being immediately attacked by Bichen nor receiving a disappointed look of the Yiling Patriarch, started to talk.
“It was not only Sizhui´s fault! None of us could repress the spirit!”
“It was too powerful!”
“No, it was too resentful to go away!”
“Punish us too!”
Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape. They were all too cute to be punished, Lan Qiren be damned.
“Aiya! None of you will be punished, stop that.” He shifted Lan Sizhui weight slightly so he could turn to his husband. Images of them in their bathtub, sharing a hot water and then going to bed together flashed through his mind. Well, night hunting with Lan Wangji was always great too, it would have to do. “Lan Zhan-”
“Mn.” The other nodded, always so in tune with his thoughts. Wei Wuxian smiled fondly.
“Alright, then! You can all go now, me and your Hanguang-Jun here will finish your task, no need to thank us. Change your cloths, though! You all look like you had been through a hurricane, tsk tsk that’s unbecoming of the little Lans you are.”
The disciples seemed to hesitate, glancing at Hanguang-Jun as if he would tell it was a joke.
“Go.” And in the blink of an eye the ducklings were hurriedly- not running- making their way back to Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian huffed, affronted.
“I want to help, please, the night hunt going wrong was my fault, I was leading them.” Receiving the unshakable stare of Hanguang-Jun, he turned to Wei Wuxian. “Let me help, Senior Wei, please.”
Wei Wuxian had to take three deep breaths to hold himself from squeezing the Lan´s cheek. For all that he had grown up, sometimes Lan Sizhui still looked too much like the baby who clung to his legs and looked up at him with puppy eyes.
“That´s nonsense, kid. It´s obviously not your fault. If this spirit is as powerful as the others were talking about, then the blame is on the person who sent you there alone.” He messed with the junior´s hair. This he was allowed, no matter how big and tall his A-Yuan became, he wouldn´t stop. “Now let the guards take you to the infirmary before you bleed out in your expensive robes. We will be back soon and you can have dinner with us! Isn´t that nice?” He looked back at Lan Wangji, only to see his tense posture relax with the prospect of a family dinner, then looked back at the kid again, taking in his persistent guilty expression. “Take Jingyi with you! I may even let some liquor spill in his cup.” Well, Jingyi wasn’t exactly family, but he never failed in lifting Lan Sizhui´s spirits up, and for that Wei Wuxian would always love him, too.
They handled Lan Sizhui to the disciples guarding the gates and flew. The sooner they went, the sooner they would be back home.
*
Flying on Bichen had been hard at the beginning, it reminded him too much of a lifetime he would rather forget. It made him think of his fall to the Burial Mounds, his stomach churning; it made him think about the void that now existed inside of him, that was easy to forget except in moments when he needed the most. With time, though, he learned that flying on a sword that wasn’t his could be the symbol of other things, better things. It could be the symbol of his trust in his husband, to not let him fall; could mean that he didn’t need to think about the lack of a golden core inside of him anymore, not when he had someone who could cheer about his strengths and compensate his weakness.
They landed. It was a thick part of the forest, where the trees were so much and so close to each other that the sunlight became scarce. Lan Sizhui had only given them a vague direction to where the spirit had last been seen, and they followed the lead until that place, where the resentful energy had been enough that they felt it in the air. Now, on the ground, Wei Wuxian could feel it on his skin, caressing him like a long-life lost friend. Lan Wangji eyed him, probably sensing his discomfort.
“I´m fine, Lan Zhan. Now where is our vengeful friend? Can you feel where the energy is coming from?” He was grinning mischievously, the prospect of a challenge making adrenaline prickle through his body. It wasn’t every day that a group of Lan cultivators failed at a night hunt.
Lan Wangji shook his head minutely. “Can Chenqing?”
Wei Wuxian touched the flute in his waist. Lan Wangji didn’t like him using it alone, it had been a long journey for his husband to accept him using resentful energy at all, so he tried not to abuse the trust the other was depositing on him too often. In this case, though, Chenqing was chaos, resentful energy being attracted to it without focus. It was Wei Wuxian´s turn to shake his head.
“No, it can´t.” He pouted, relishing on the way the other´s eyes fixed on his lips. “Lan Zhan, do you think you can play inquire? Maybe it needs to talk so it can focus its energy on something.”
Lan Wangji´s eyes slowly teared from Wei Wuxian´s mouth and focused on his eyes again. He smiled widely, his heart skipping a few beats under the intense gaze of his husband. Then Lan Wangji seemed to process the words he had said, and his eyes went sharp again, determined. He nodded and took his guqin.
Wei Wuxian stayed beside him while he prepared to play, leaning part of his weight on the other´s shoulder, only because he knew he could.
When the first notes of inquiry echoed through the trees, the resentful energy came to a halt, as if it hesitated on its moves. It had been three notes, which Wei Wuxian was familiar with by that point. Who are you?
Another three notes played by itself. Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, only to receive a shake of head as response. I don’t know, then. He tapped his nose a few times, thinking. Lan Wangji started playing again. He didn’t understand inquire language, but he knew that usually the next question to ´who are you´ would be ´how did you die´, so he waited for an answer. Instead, what they received was a chilling silence.
Wei Wuxian frowned. Turning to the other, he could see that him, too, had a crease between his brows. Spirits weren’t supposed to be able to lie or omit anything to Lan Wangji, they never had and probably never would. Just as he was opening his mouth to question it, the resentful energy suddenly lashed, ten times stronger then when they had arrived.
His hands flied to Chenqing, an instinct that had carved its way into his bones and would probably never leave him. Through the angry screams starting to pierce his ears, he could hear Bichen being unsheathed, and when he turned, there was his husband, certain as the sun in the morning, standing less than a foot apart from him with sword in hand. He took a heartbeat to appreciate the image: both side by side, chaos around them but trust in every movement they made.
Soon enough, a figure appeared in the distance. Its cloths were torn, barely hanging on its translucid body, blood dripped from its nose and mouth, forming a grotesque scene. But the most impressive thing was its size. It was really, really small.
Wei Wuxian let a bitter chuckle escape. It made sense, now, why the juniors were so guilty about not being able to counter the spirit, it was a child. A small one, by the way, probably not even five yet. Its rage, though, had nothing childish to it.
Lan Wangji started plucking at his guqin, giving up on liberating and going for supressing. Wei Wuxian hesitated, something was emerging on the back of his mind, demanding attention, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly. He knew something about child spirits, didn’t he? Something he had learned on the hard way while trapped in Burial Mounds.
“Lan Zhan! Wait!” He yelled above the noise, his hair whipping around his face as if he were in the middle of a storm, not in the resentment of a kid. Lan Wangji stopped in his tracks, hands hovering above his instrument, waiting for Wei Wuxian´s instructions. He didn’t have any, though, just the feeling that they needed to be more careful than they were being. He searched and searched in his mind to find nothing, only that uncomfortable feeling. He looked back at his husband helplessly. “Well, I don’t know yet! You know how my memory is!” The spirit´s eyes flashed strangely at that. Lan Wangji stared back at him, an exasperated look in his eyes. Well, Lan Zhan had known who he was marrying with, too late for blaming him now. “Just- Just let me think a bit more!”
Lan Wangji, although looking tense, nodded and went back to the soothing sounds. He fumbled with Chenqing for a few heartbeats, spinning it on his hands as a method of focusing his attention. It had always worked for him. Just when he thought he was getting somewhere, the child managed to pass right through Lan Wangji´s sounds, heading straight to the smaller one. He saw his husband tense in his peripherical vision, his desperate attempt at conjuring something with his guqin. Wei Wuxian only had time to press his flute to his lips before the spirit passed through his body, a cold sensation spreading through his centre until his extremities, making his feet and hands numb. He was vaguely aware of Lan Wangji sending a powerful burst into the creature behind him, the assassin chord, he presumed. Bad Lan Zhan, he thought sluggishly, breaking his clan´s teachings and exterminating before supressing.
He only noticed that he was on his knees when Lan Wangji crouched beside him, grabbing him by both shoulders and entering his field of sight.
“Wei Ying?!” His voice was frantic to Hanguang-Jun´s standards. Wei Wuxian blinked a few times, trying to make his vision focus on the other´s face. When it did, his heart ached in his chest. His husband expression was cracked open, fear written in his widened eyes and pinched eyebrows.
“Lan Zhan”, Wei Wuxian´s body was tickling, like a member that stayed too much time without blood circulating by it. And then, it stopped. His mind started working on its normal speed again, and his body was as good as it could ever be after a long day of work. He blinked again. “I´m fine.” When Lan Wangji continued to look at him with worry, his hands tightening a fraction on his shoulders, he let his eyes soften and a cheeky smile spread on his face. “I really am, Er-Gege! Guess my body just didn’t like anyone besides you inside it.”
Lan Wangji´s ears turned slightly pink at that, and he relaxed by increments.
“You feel fine?” He asked again, hesitant to release Wei Wuxian of his tight grip.
“I feel perfectly fine, Hanguang-Jun.” He said, getting off the ground and taking Lan Wangji up with him as proof of his wellbeing. “Although I will feel even better after a hot bath with you in the Jingshi.” Wei Wuxian arched his eyebrow in a suggestive way. Lan Wangji´s eyes, as expected, darkened.
“Shameless.”
*
“If I was there Sizhui wouldn’t have been hurt!” Jingyi protested for the fourth time that night.
They have finished the dinner inside the Jingshi, as promised. The three Lans in different kinds of silence, while Wei Wuxian chatted unstoppable about the night hunt. Lan Wangji looked at him serenely, as if seeing him babbling and gesticulating with a bottle of wine was a peaceful view; Lan Jingyi was shoving food into his mouth in the fastest way he could without it being impolite, in an obvious attempt to finish quickly and speak; and Lan Sizhui, although still looking slightly apologetic and with a bandaged leg, was smiling softly at his friend´s and senior´s antics.
“Tell me again why weren’t you there? I thought you and Sizhui were like, the moon and the stars, the lightening and the thunder, Lan Qiren and his beard.” He waved his bottle dramatically with each example. There had been a time when the old Lan was seen without a beard, but that was a thought he guarded safely in the back of his mind, for another time.
Lan Jingyi huffed, straightening his posture again when he remembered that Hanguang-Jun was still there.
“I was in punishment! The seniors found out that I night hunted with Master Wen last week.” The junior creased his forehead, obviously displeased, but probably not brave – or stupid – enough to bad mouth his seniors in front of other seniors. Wei Wuxian laughed, poor Jingyi didn’t even imagine that his Huanguang-Jun had been trying for years to put an end to the physical punishments.
“Uncle Wen asked me to tell you that he is really sorry, Jingyi.” Lan Sizhui spoke softly. It was no secret that he and Wen Ning had become close as the family they really were, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t be happier. They both deserved to have each other.
Lan Wangji slowly put his teacup back on the table.
“Wen Qionglin is not at fault.” There it was, only one simple sentence, but enough for everyone in the room to know his opinion about the unfair punishment juniors received for speaking with the Yiling Patriarch and the Ghost General. Not that it was a surprise, though. Lan Jingyi relaxed so much that he almost slumped, Lan Sizhui smiled at his fraternal figure, and Wei Wuxian did slump for real in Lan Wangji´s lap, resting his head on his husband´s thigh.
The boys apparently took a hint and got up, bowing respectfully.
“Hanguang-Jun, Senior Wei. It is getting late; we should be going.” Lan Sizhui said diplomatically.
“Thanks for inviting me, Senior Wei, Hanguang-Jun.” And then they were going to the door.
Before they could escape, Wei Wuxian shot up from where he was sprawled and followed the two, subtly grabbing something on the table.
“Wait wait wait! Why are you two in such a rush? Aiya, it looks like me and Hanguang-Jun would bite you or something!” He paused, catching his breath after basically flying after the juniors. The duo stood on the doorway, looking uncertain. “Well, Hanguang-Jun do bite sometimes, I guess you have a point there so-”
“Okay, Senior Wei!!” Sizhui almost yelled and turned to go again. Wei Wuxian grabbed their sleeves and pinned them in place.
“Stop that.” He supressed a smile, forcing himself to look serious. “Jingyi, don’t you hate being punished? You can say it, there´s no Hanguang-Jun listening right now, I can assure you.” There was of course a Hanguang-Jun listening to it. Even if they weren’t cultivators with super acute audition, it wasn’t as if he was trying to speak in a low voice.
“It… it isn’t very nice, Senior Wei.” Lan Jingyi allowed, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
“Awesome! Then you are in luck, kid. There is something I learned as a student right here in Cloud Recesses: if you are going to be punished anyway”, he pushed a jar of wine into Lan Jingyi´s hands, “at least you can have fun doing that!”
Lan Jingyi´s face lit up at once, his eyes shining, and Wei Wuxian had to brace himself on the doorway so he wouldn’t fall of laughing.
“Thank you, Senior Wei! I will! Let´s go, Sizhui!” And started walking-running back to his quarters. Said Sizhui turned a subtly glare to his senior, and then sighed, defeated.
“Goodnight, Senior Wei, thank you for today.” He bowed one last time and went after his obnoxious friend.
Wei Wuxian closed the door, smiling happily, and turned to find an almost identical glare being shot in his direction.
“What? Come on, Lan Zhan, you know that he was punished unfairly! What was I supposed to do?” Probably stay out of trouble, Lan Wangji would say. “Besides, we met each other like that. Wouldn’t it be nice if Jingyi met his soulmate because of me? Don´t look at me like that, Hanguang-Jun. You will have wrinkles with how much you frown sometimes.” Wei Wuxian let himself fall on the other´s lap again, nuzzling his head on Lan Wangji´s stomach.
Lan Wangji glared at him for some time more, obviously pretending to ignore his demands of attention. Then he sighed and let his hands fall to Wei Wuxian´s head, running his fingers through his hair affectionately. The smaller hid a smile in his husband´s robes. Like son, like father.
“Wei Ying has not changed.” Lan Wangji said softly.
He had. They both had. But he assumed that in certain ways the other was right. It had always been the two of them, Wei Wuxian finding problem, Lan Wangji scolding him. In the end, though, Lan Wangji had always been the one who stood beside him.
Lan Wangji woke at five am, as usual.
They went to bed quite late the night before. After the juniors left, they took a more than satisfactory hot bath, and then he braided Wei Wuxian´s hair, running the comb through the silk strands, curling his fingers into the baby hairs in his skull. It was in the simple, affectionate touches that he usually caught himself wondering how he was allowed to do that now. They had proceeded with what Wei Wuxian liked to call ´everyday activities`, and only late in the night they managed to actually sleep.
Now, he laid on the bed, first sunshine coming through the window, and a warm weight sleeping in his chest. He gazed down at the other fondly; Wei Wuxian´s hair was a mess again, he had drooled into Lan Wangji´s robes, and his sleep-warm face was now tucked into his neck. He supressed the wave of affection that spread through his heart; he was going to have a long day before him, and if he stayed in bed a little longer, he would be late for his uncle´s meeting.
Quickly, but gently, he freed himself from Wei Wuxian´s limbs and covered him again with the sheets, noticing almost too late that the other had his eyebrows pinched together, his body a little tenser than it should be after a well-rested night of sleep.
Nightmares were not an unusual occurrence in that room, be it from Wei Wuxian or from himself. When he dreamed about that thirteen years alone, hugging his husband tight would usually be enough for him to go back to sleep. Wei Wuxian, though, demanded more attention, as the people he dreamed about were not there anymore for him to hug.
He lowered himself onto the bed again, brushing the strays of hair from Wei Wuxian´s face.
“Wei Ying.”
The smaller frowned even more, not waking up. Lan Wangji touched his cheek, caressing it in an attempt of not waking the other abruptly.
“Wei Ying, wake up.”
A few seconds passed, and then Wei Wuxian´s eyes shot open. Lan Wangji backed a little in the bed, giving the other space so he wouldn’t feel overwhelmed.
“I am here, you are safe.” But the words didn’t seem to calm the other as usual. Instead, Wei Wuxian sat in the bed, his wide eyes rooming around the room franticly.
“…What?” The word was mumbled in a confused tone. Wei Wuxian clumsily tried to brush his hair back from his face, clearly still more asleep than awake. Seeing his struggle, Lan Wangji reached out to help, only to see the other flinch away from his touch. This effectively made the cultivator pause, something in the back of his mind trying to wiggle its way to the surface. Well… there had been some few times when Wei Wuxian´s nightmares had shaken him so bad that he woke without knowing where he was. He retracted his hand again, settling it on his lap.
“You are safe. It was only a nightmare.” He repeated himself.
“What´s happening? Where am I?” Wei Wuxian stared right into his eyes, but it didn’t seem to have recognition in his silver ones. Instead, his expression was schooled into almost defensive.
Lan Wangji frowned, something making his heart thump loudly in his chest. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was very, astronomically wrong. Wei Wuxian was behaving weirdly, but… but surely it couldn’t be that…
“Wei Ying. We are-” He was ready to state the obvious, that they were in the Jingshi, as they had been since the night before. His mind kept making up excuses for Wei Wuxian´s behavior. They had been off in night hunts a lot lately, maybe the smaller had become used to waking up on inns and now, on the first minute awake, he was confused about waking up on their own home. He couldn’t voice any of his thoughts, though, because in the next second:
“Who the hell is Wei Ying?”