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What her and Joe have has always been unlabeled. Something they slip in and out of so easy that it never requires any discussion on either of their parts.
That's not to say it never hurts her or him when it ends (or pauses? whatever. Demi's not sure of the right way to put it even in her own mind), but something about never putting into words what they have makes it easier when schedules and hipsters and starlets come between them.
---
When she arrives on the Camp Rock 2 set they are the first people she looks for, but of course they find her first.
She hears Kevin's voice before she sees the three of them; he yells her name and gives her a hug that nearly lifts her from the ground.
"Give her air, Kev." Nick's smiling his little smile that always manages to seem a little serious while he gives her a side hug. He's already saying something about how they should write some stuff together over the next couple of months, but before she tells him she'd be offended if they didn't, Joe's grinning at her and pulling her into a hug and it's distracting.
She can feel herself getting lightheaded as he rubs her back just a little and she wraps her arms around his waist until they both feel his brothers' stares and pull away.
And even though it's not like she hasn't seen them (him) plenty in the last year it still feels like some cheesy reunion and she can already tell how easily things are going to slip into whatever they have once been.
---
As soon as Demi meets Chloe she knows Joe's going to flirt with her, and for a brief moment she feels a little bit jealous (which is stupid. She has Dirk and Joe is Joe. He's allowed to flirt if he wants to.) but when Joe meets her he smiles and cracks a joke. And that's it.
It's not what Demi was expecting.
(The whole day it's like he's being pulled towards her, and she keeps feeling his fingers on her back and shoulders. When they sat down for a working lunch and a table read his knee pressed against hers as he leaned into her. She could barely read through her lines. It's always been a little bit like this with them, but this is just ridiculous and she almost wants to ask him what the hell has gotten in to him.)
---
The first day is a lot more introductions than Demi had anticipated, and even though the whole thing isn't unpleasant Demi feels exhausted before they are done shooting their first scenes, so she retreats to her trailer in between takes.
She calls Dirk first, but when he doesn't answer she finds she's not so disappointed, so she turns some music on, laying down on the little couch in her trailer. Before she can stop herself from thinking about what it's going to be like to be in such constant proximity to Joe again he's staring down at her and smiling.
He drags the back of his hand across her arm. "Dem, if you are tired already this is going to be a long couple of months."
She halfheartedly hits him with her pillow. "You know how first days are for me."
He grabs the pillow from her hand and drops it to ground. "I do." He lays down beside her on the little couch. His legs tangle with hers and it's kind of awkward because the couch is barely big enough for her, much less both of them. He's pressed all up against her and has started threading his hands in her hair.
She wants to say, "So we're doing this again?" but she doesn't because she knows it breaks a hundred rules that they've always agreed to but haven't said out loud. So instead she presses her lips against his and feels herself get warm everywhere and hears him sigh contentedly as his mouth opens up for hers.
(She doesn't think about Dirk at all and it's really much easier than it should be do what she's doing.)
---
Sometimes Demi really does feel like she's at a music camp, because Nick carries his guitar around everywhere and Garbo hangs out with them a lot. Sometimes they sing their favorite songs and other times they just make stupid stuff up about what they ate that day or Kevin's love of cupcakes with blue frosting. Demi loves every single moment of it. She feels like she could do it forever and exist in this little world where all that exists is the beauty of this place and the sound of guitars after every shout of, "Cut!"
It doesn't hurt that Chloe ended up being kind of awesome. She feels like she could talk to her about anything, even things she doesn't dare talk about (like Joe and Selena and how even though she pretends it's easy to keep from being one of those child stars that go crazy, she's actually terrified it won't be).
Sometimes she tells Selena all about how awesome everything is, and she feels like she's bragging, especially when Selena gets quiet, like she's jealous or hurt that there's people who get to talk to her more often and about more things than she does.
When their conversation fizzles out much sooner than it should Selena says, "I've got to go, Demi. The band's coming over soon, so."
She trails off after that, and Demi says, "Yeah, of course. I mean I thought you were going to tell me about what's going in your life, but whatever." Demi knows she's getting snappy, but it's like she can't control it.
"Maybe, later." and then they say their goodbyes and that's that.
---
A couple weeks after they start shooting Nick decides that it might be fun to do this sort of impromptu acoustic show for all the fans that are always showing up outside of the campground. She's not at all hard to convince, because she knows seeing their faces as they pull the guitars out and sing will be awesome. Joe agrees too and once they convince Mr. Jonas and Big Rob and the various people in charge of all things Camp Rock 2 it's all set.
When she crawls in the back of the Escalade between Nick and Joe she can already feel herself getting that big stupid grin that performing like this gives her.
(When Nick helps her on top of the SUV Joe reaches over for her waist to help her up and his hand grazes her butt instead. She's not entirely sure it was an accident, but honestly, she's so excited she can't even really bring herself to be annoyed with him about it.)
Everyone sings along and the music just feels like it's in the air and even though she forgets the words to S.O.S. it's probably the most fun she's had performing in a long time. She'd kind of forgotten how much fun she always has playing with them, because they all love it as much as she does.
When they get back into the car she tells Nick and Joe that she was thinking about how the music felt like it was in the air. It sounds so cheesy once she says it aloud, but they both just smile so big and agree with her.
And all the drama about who her friends are or aren't and her confusion over who she wants to be more-than-friends with sort of seems irrelevant in comparison to the feeling of sitting on top of that Escalade singing for a few hundred people who all sing along.
---
Selena never real liked Dirk, and neither did Miley, really, but Demi's at this stage were she kind of needs to do things that all of her old friends think is stupid, and maybe she just wants to know what it's like to hang out with a different crowd sometimes. Dirk totally fits into that, and Miley gets that, mostly, and Chloe totally does, but Demi sort of feels like Selena thinks it's weird even though she never comes out and says it. She can just feel it every phone conversation that ends in awkward silence.
One time Miley says, joking mostly, "If a guy lets people call him Dirk, that's probably a deal breaker. I'm just sayin', it's only one letter away from dick. What is he even trying to say?"
They both laugh, but there's a part of Demi that wonders if she has a point.
---
There's these rowboats that have been sitting on the shoreline of the lake since they got there and one day, when both of them are done with filming most of their scenes early in the morning, Joe decides it would be fun to row around the lake in them. He is grinning so big and bouncing on his heels while he wraps his hands around her wrists and pulls her toward the shore. He keeps glancing up from their hands to the shore and then to her face for just the briefest moment, and honestly how is she supposed to resist something that adorable (even if she knows it will end with her probably soaked or something).
It's a little cold that day too, so she grabs a sweater before she gets in the boat with him. As he helps her step from the dock to boat she says, "Joe Jonas, I just want you to know that if I don't step back onto this dock as dry as I am right now, I'm never letting you into my hotel room or trailer again."
He freezes for a second and she can tell he realized, at about the same time she did, that this is the first time either of them have ever really verbally acknowledged anything to the other. He catches himself quickly, though, and grins, bending down to brush some leaves off the bench in the rowboat and then motioning for her to sit down. With mock innocence he says, "Well, Demetria Lovato, I would never even think of such a thing."
"Yeah, uh-huh."
It only takes them getting about 20 feet out on the lake for him to start splashing her with his oar.
She gets back at him back though, and in the end they both return to shore with their hair soaked and their clothes dirty and, God, she's kind of freezing now. The director is sort of pissed, because they both had some scenes to shoot that night, and now it's going to take hair and makeup even longer to make them presentable. Demi doesn't care though, because when they came back to shore Joe takes the sweater she had grabbed out of a plastic bag that she hadn't even noticed he'd been keeping behind him on the boat.
"I made sure this didn't get wet," he had said as he draped it over her.
She says, "Maybe I'll keep letting you come into my room."
His lips curl up at the ends just a little and he moves close to kiss her on the forehead, making sure to keep her sweater from getting wet, but also not caring at all who sees.
She's finding she doesn't really care who sees, either.
---
She's video chatting with Selena and it's kind of awkward and terrible and Demi thinks they might by on the edge of an argument. And shit, Demi hates this a lot, because she's not even sure what's coming between them. If anything, now that Selena's doing the music thing, it should be easier, but it feels like the added business and people just pull them apart. It's getting to the point where she gets free time that she knows she should use to call Selena, but doesn't because she feels like it's too stressful trying to make sure she says the right thing all the time. The fact that Selena's the sort that just needs a few close friends and Demi's the sort that wants to be friends with everybody has caused them problems before, but now it feels like it's so much worse in it ever was.
(Demi knows in the back of her mind that sometimes this kind of thing just happens - that you don't always stay best friends with the same people forever and sometimes it's not because anybody did anything wrong, but it's just that people grow apart or whatever. But, still. Whenever Demi had imagined her future, she always sort of imagined Selena being a part of it.)
When Joe walks into her trailer she almost hopes he'll give her an excuse to leave. She can tell by the way he stands behind her and just touches his finger tips to her back that he knows it's a tense conversation (he started doing that two years ago their third day on set. She kept blowing a line and was staring to freak out that they were going to fire her or something. Joe came up to her and put his fingers tips were they are now and told her it was going to be alright and she believed him).
"Hey, Selena," he says.
She smiles, lifts her fingers into the view of the web cam, and wiggles her them in an awkward little wave. "Hey, Joe."
Demi thinks she can see him smirk a little through the slight reflection from the laptop, but she can't be sure. "Well, I'm going to let you ladies talk about girl stuff or whatever." Before Demi can realize what's he's doing he bends down to give her a kiss on the cheek and Demi can see Selena raise her eyebrows and a glint of amusement in her friends eyes. "See you later, Demi. Nice to see you again Selena."
Before he's out the door Demi knows her and Selena will have something to talk about (especially since Selena never really liked Dirk at all, but always sort of liked Joe) and it will be like they're fourteen again because they'll be talking about the cute boy one of them likes (she knows Joe did that on purpose and she kind of loves him for it).
They sort of end up talking about how maybe she and David are on the verge of something and that he might have kissed her once or twice or more times, so she tweets later that Selena and David should come visit which leads to her giggling forever while she's sitting in her hotel room with Joe and Nick and David texts her saying, "So I'm guessing from the tweet that Selena told you I kissed her. Keep that shit on the DL, Lovato. Damn." Joe and Nick just stare at her until Joe pulls the phone out of her hand, reads the text, and then his eyes widen as he gives her this, "no way!" look and joins in on the giggling.
Nick just looks at them both like they are idiots.
---
About a month into filming, it becomes pretty obvious to Demi that it's not going to work out with Dirk, because every time she talks to him, all she can think about is how it feels like she's cheating on Joe, even though it's actually the other way around.
But if she were to break up with him, it would just - she doesn't even know what. It seems silly to break up with someone for someone else when the both of you are barely even acknowledging that anything's going on.
---
Apparently the boys didn't know that the thing about her dating Dirk was more than just a rumor (okay, maybe this is because Demi was pretty careful to never mention him around them, but she just kind of thought they would have it heard it through the grapevine or something). When Demi's mom mentions him at the restaurant in the hotel while her family and his are having dinner, Nick and Kevin share this look and Joe's face loses any kind of emotion.
Demi figures she should have known that he didn't know, because in the past they've always avoided their whatever when one of them was with someone. A few weeks later Brenda Song comes to visit them and Joe ignores Demi. Even though he had talked about maybe going to that Kings of Leon concert with her, but whatever. She knows he always thought Brenda was pretty cool and cute, and Demi has Dirk anyway, so what does she have to freak out about?
Demi wants to apologize about not telling him, but that would be talking about it and then it would too real. Instead she just waits a few days for Brenda to leave and then a few days after that for them to start making out in each other's trailers and hotels rooms again.
Demi had not realized how much she missed the feeling of him against her.
---
Frankie sometimes gets kind of bored (he liked being on set at first, and kept walking up to all the girls and bumping fists with them before telling them that they should know that he's actually the most awesome and most talented Jonas and, "Even though I'm too young for you now, one day I'll be the studliest"). When he gets bored he gets it in his head that he needs to do random things. This time he decides to go fishing.
Nick had been Frankie's favorite since the moment the family arrived in Canada, (this was probably because Joe had been spending all free his time with Demi and Kevin had been spending all his free time planning a wedding) so Joe figured a random trip to get Frankie all the necessary supplies would be the best way to get back into the coveted position of Frankie's favorite.
At first Demi's not so into the idea of going with him to pick out worms and things with hooks on them, but she's starting to feel a little cooped up, so when he suggests they walk rather than drive she decides it might be nice. There's far fewer people with camera's in Toronto anyway, so it's kind of nice to walk down the street without creepy guys in baseball caps following you.
They walk the whole way there with their hands kind of brushing and then when they get there it's a little bit like they turn into nine year olds (or she does because Joe's like that about half the time anyway) and he finds just about every rubber fake slimy thing in the place and throws it at her and she maybe laughs at it and him for being so ridiculous, but to be fair she tried really hard not to. Finally she's the one who gets the very annoyed sales clerk to tell them what would be the best things to buy a little kid who wants to fish in a lake. They arrange for somebody to come pick everything up later and then they are on their way.
As they walk out she smiles wide at him. "You know, I'm the one who did all the work. Maybe I should be Frankie's new favorite."
For a brief moment he lifts one side of his lips and his eyes get that glint that tells Demi he's about to do something obnoxious that may involve a lot of physical contact (he knows she has this spot right on her side where she's exceptional ticklish and he may have used this to his advantage in the past) but then out of the corner of her eye she sees some motion from across the street.
She can't even hold back a sigh as she says, "Looks like we aren't alone anymore."
That's all it takes for them to start standing so far apart that she aches for the feeling of closeness that she'd felt on the way to the shop. And it kind of hurts her a little that he's so scared of anybody finding out that he has to stand a full foot and a half away from her while they walk down an empty street. Except while they walk back to their hotel in silence he looks over at her once like he's hurt and she realizes maybe he's thinking the same thing.
And maybe Demi admits to herself that she moved away too, so out of guilt or confusion or whatever she calls Dirk when she gets back and they talk for about an hour. She mentions Joe probably a dozen times and even though Dirk doesn't freak out about it in the slightest (he probably buys that BS about how she's views all three of the Jonas as her brothers) it makes her feel like the worst girlfriend ever.
---
Things with Selena haven't gotten bad, necessarily, they just haven't gotten anywhere at all. Demi sort of came to the realization that she was the one doing all the calling, and it was almost like Selena didn't care that they weren't what they used to be. And in her mind Demi knows that quietness like that has always been Selena's way. She's never been one to try to force things when they weren't working, and in the past it's always been what Demi's loved about her, but now it kind of blows to be on the other end. (She remembers when things fizzled out with Selena and Nick and how civilly everything went down, in spite of the fact that Demi knew there were moments that Selena was actually kind of hurt by him. It had seemed so mature when she wasn't on the receiving end.)
---
When Michael Buble starts singing "Everything" it feels like a moment from a script she'd read for. Suddenly she feels him looking at her and she can feel heat spreading from her neck all the way up to her face.
When she finally finds it in herself to look over at him she almost stops breathing, because the look that he gives her is wonderful and terrifying.
He doesn't say, "I'm in love with you," but he might as well have.
As the song ends she kisses him, cradles his face and twists in her chair so she can get close to him. He pushes her hair behind her ear and skims his thumb along her jaw.
When she pulls away she tries her best to give him the same look he just gave her. She doesn't say, "I want to break up with Dirk and I want this to be real," but she thinks she might as well have.
---
Dinner with Kevin and Danielle is not quite as wonderful as she anticipated. Paparazzi are there and she and Joe spend half the time texting each other about how having people follow you around all the time kind of sucks.
When she shows him some pictures she took during the concert he leans over with his arm wrapped around himself, like he's stopping his shoulder from brushing hers. It's sweet and terrible all at once and she has to stop herself from biting her lip. She suddenly can't wait for dinner to be over and misses the way it felt for them to be in a darkened auditorium so that nobody could see him brush his shoulder against her and put his hand on her leg.
Given the moment they had she just wants to leave right away, so they can get back to being alone before she loses the nerve to say the things she wants to say to him.
---
When the elevator door opens onto their floor he takes a quick scan to make sure the hallway's empty and then reaches for her hand, threading his fingers through hers and pulling her towards her end of the hallway.
Which each silent step they take she steels herself, because she doesn't want to chicken out, but she knows that as soon as he turns around to look at her all she'll be able to think about is how messed up everything could get. About how people would say he is too old and how if anyone found out there would be no end to the questions both of them would receive and how much they both hate that part of what they do. And she thinks about how in spite of what they do during their alone time, they're still mostly two best friends. Once she says something they might never be able to go back to that. (She's already thought about how Nick and Miley might be friends now, but it only took them a couple years to get to that place again. She doesn't even want to think about what a couple years without Joe would feel like.)
When she pulls the key out and slides it in, he raises his hand up to her shoulder and moves his thumb in circles that she only barely feels through her sweater, but it makes her feel stronger all the same.
After he closes the door behind them, he tugs on her sweater, getting her to turn around and face him. He wraps his arms around her waist and leans back against the door; she moves her hand to his chest, letting herself feel his heart beating - fast, but steady. She feels like the sureness of that should calm her, but it doesn't. He leans his face forward, and bumps the hat she's been wearing, so she giggles and he smiles, taking it off her head and throwing it towards the table in her suite, but not looking to see if he made it or if it ended up on the floor. His smile disappears though as he cradles her face and leans his forehead against hers.
The moments between them have always been quiet, but this quiet feels different.
She opens her mouth trying to say something but it's like whatever strength she got from his a few moments before is gone now and she can't breathe. She just wants to say, "Let's make this real," because she knows that will be enough. That he'll understand and agree, because she can see it in his eyes. And it should be easy. They're only four words, but they won't come out.
Then he says, "Dem, let's make this real."
And she finally lets out a breath and a "Yes" and then he kisses her, sweet and slow.
---
The next day is a busy one on set. They are getting to the end of things and various people in charge are starting to freak out that they won't get to everything they need to get done, so everyone has to get up absurdly early and stay up absurdly late. Demi barely has time to eat let alone break up with Dirk (or respond to any of his text messages). And the guilt of that is gnawing at her so she's flubbing a quarter of her lines and it's setting her on edge and consequently Joe's kind of on edge too, so every scene they shoot together feels off.
Finally, at about midnight, she gets a few minutes and she calls Dirk and it's surprisingly easy, because he'd been feeling like it wasn't working (he attributes it to their schedules and she's not going to correct him).
When she gets off the phone with him, she's feels relieved and every scene they shoot goes exceptionally well. When they finish for the end of the night (at three AM) Joe pulls her aside, bouncing with a nervous energy and the second wind that just hit him. "So every thing's good now, right?"
She smiles big in spite of how tired she is. "I think so."
He grins and hugs her, pulling her from the ground and spinning her around once before he sets her down, loses the smile, straightens himself up somewhat theatrically and says, "I am happy to hear that."
She laughs and punches his arm and she feels so light that it's almost like she isn't even tired anymore.
---
The last day on set Demi feels on the verge of tears for the majority of the day. Half the crew and the extras are gone and it's just a few final scenes with the principal parts and all she can think about is going back home and trying to figure out how her and Joe will work once they get back to LA, and how she knows she'll have to deal with how her Selena are only barely still friends, and it will be even more obvious once every one sees them not hanging out even though they're in the same town. And they haven't even gotten in a fight. They just haven't talked in weeks and it feels like something's missing whenever Demi thinks about it, but at the same Demi doesn't really find herself thinking about it much anymore and that has to mean something.
But Joe's been so wonderful the whole day, and every time she thinks she's going to lose it she feels one of his hands on her back, settling her just a little bit in that way that he does.
Their last night in the hotel they have a little bit of a party, and it's fun and the food's good. The room's warm in this way that's really pleasant and has nothing to do with temperature. But she almost wishes she could just spend some time with just her and Joe.
She whispers in his ear, "Promise me I'll get to see you before you leave for Europe."
He raises an eyebrow at her, smiling a little."You can see me right now."
She leans into him and puts her hands on both sides of his face, "Joe, you know what I mean. I want to be with just you once before you leave."
He pushes some bangs out of her face. "Alright, I promise."
---
Coming back home is...something. On the one hand she's missed her friends and it doesn't take long for her to fall into old habits of hanging out with people who most would consider Hollywood scenesters. But she doesn't see why she should have to justify herself for it. She has fun with them and she spent so much of her childhood being that weird not-so-popular kid that it feels nice to be somebody that people desperately want to be seen with.
But, she hasn't hung out with Selena or talked to her outside of a short text-exchange that essentially said Glad you're back in town and Thanks. We should hang out sometime soon, but there was never any follow up. A few times Demi thinks of asking Selena to hang out with her and her group, but she's knows they're not really Selena's crowd and that she's busy, so Demi just lets it be. It hurts, but Demi can be maturely civil too if that's what Selena wants.
She hasn't seen Joe yet either, although they've been texting and calling. He's busy preparing for all things European tour and the whole family has been doing a lot of preparation for how they are going to handle the publicity for Nick Jonas and the Administration.
She texts him a few days before he leaves to remind him that he promised her alone time. He texts back, Wanna have breakfast ;)
She blushes as she returns his text. Name the time and place. :)
---
Having Joe over for a fairly causal breakfast shouldn't make her feel so nervous, especially since this will only be the hundredth time he's come over, but it does. It just feels so different now that they are actually acknowledging what is going on between them, so she gets up at like 5:30 because she honestly can't fall back to sleep. After taking a shower she spends an hour and a half picking a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that she feels she looks cute in but still says, "I'm totally not trying too hard for this at all."
Then she gets her step-dad up and pesters him into making an excellent breakfast, because he's much better at that sort of thing than her. He starts to give her some stuff about how if he's going to be working this hard he should get to stick around for the actual eating of it, but she just gives him a look (or a pout, whatever) and says, "Dad, he's going to be gone for months." He promises to stay in the living room.
When Joe finally shows up, her heart and stomach start doing all sorts of interesting things. Joe's hair looks so messy, but he's smiling at her and it's just working for him in that boyish way that things always do.
He kisses her almost immediately, and she's a little bit caught off guard, but she catches up and grabs onto his shirt.
"I'm glad you forced me into seeing you before I left." How he manages to make crap that sound sort of sweet she'll never know, but she punches his shoulder for good measure regardless.
He follows her into the kitchen as she says, "I'll admit I missed you."
"Of course you did," He sniffs the air and continues, "Your dad made all this didn't he?" He doesn't wait for her response before he asks, "How many times did you change shirts?"
Sometimes she hates him.
"Don't get me wrong. I like the final result; you're definitely working that, I'm-hot-but-I-don't-try thing."
"I hate you."
"If you hated me I wouldn't be here. Let's eat some waffles already."
---
The thing she likes about Joe the most is probably how easy it is to be around him, because breakfast, even though it's so simple and there aren't a ton of people showering her with praise or telling her how awesome she is, is the most satisfying, fun thing she's done since she left Canada. And he makes her feel more special than any of those people do, even if all his compliments are weird.
As breakfast ends it gets a bit serious and she takes his hand and leads him up to her room (as they pass her step-dad in the living room he yells for her to leave the door open a crack, but she's 90% sure he won't be up to check).
They lay on her bed and make out for a while, and it's wonderful just to be with him. (She's still trying not to think about how much she'll miss this while he's on the other side of the planet.)
They stop after awhile, both knowing they should probably talk about some things before he leaves, but not really wanting to either. They just lay there for a few minutes, with their legs intertwined and her head on his chest. She knows he's starting to fall asleep when she says, "We aren't going to be able to see each other for a while."
She feels and hears him sigh a little bit. "I know. I've been trying not to think about it ever since we got back home."
She needs to see his face after he says that, so she sits up, sitting Indian style, perpendicular to him, so that her knees are pressed against his side. "I know it's probably stupid, but -" She pauses and he puts a hand on her knee." I'm worried that you'll go there and they'll be all these awesome girls. And I mean, are we even at that exclusive place yet? "
He sits up quickly as soon as she says exclusive. "You broke up with Dirk. I thought that meant that we were - are together, I guess."
She looks down and pulls on the bottom of his t-shirt as she says, "I meant it to be like that, but I - I don't know want you to feel pressured or anything."
"Demi." He cups her face in one hand and says her name like she's both ridiculous and wonderful all at once. "From you, it doesn't feel like pressure. It feels like something I've wanted for a while."
As he says it all she feels herself getting progressively lighter, so that when he finishes his sentence she is dizzy and grinning.
She's going to miss him and they're still forced to hide all the time; between both of their busy schedules it doesn't seem like it should work out.
Still, she doesn't even feel a little bit like she's lying when she says, "Good."
Nope. Not even a little bit.