Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Lena’s Choice
Lena had never been the girl to dream of what her wedding would look like because she had always believed that one would ever want to marry her, a Luthor. But then James came into her life and she started to wonder if maybe he could be the one to change her opinion, the one to make her believe she could actually be a wife. So, when James proposed Lena threw all the logic out the window and said yes, while she may not be sure if she is in love with him, she cannot risk this, she can not throw away her one shot of being a wife. So while this day may not be what many women dream of it is still the happiest day of Lena’s life. Lena’s thoughts were broken by Kara saying, “You look beautiful.” as she tied the back of her wedding dress. Kara and Lena’s eyes met in the mirror and Lena could not help but crack a smile. Kara always knew how to make Lena smile, it was one of the things Lena lov- liked about Kara.
“Do you think James will like it?”Lena asked, she wanted to give James her best, as a way to thank him for helping her achieve her dream.
“He would be an idiot, not to; you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. He is the luckiest man in the universe.”Kara said as her heart clenched. Kara loved this raven-haired woman so much and it was killing her to see her marry James. James did not deserve Lena, he had not trusted her from the get-go, he had said horrendous things about her, and yet he was the one that was getting to marry her. Kara knew that Lena could do so much better and Kara wised that Lena saw that, saw her. Because Kara wanted to be the one that Lena was walking to, the one that got to call Lena their wife, the one that got to hold her when she was upset, the one to protect Lena from all the danger she would face, the one to put a smile on Lena’s face, the one that Lena started a family with. She wanted a future, a life, with her. Kara was called out of her trance by Lena’s angelic voice saying her name.
“Yes?”Kara responded as she started to tidy up her hair.
“You okay? You seemed to go into a trance.”Lena explained as she slipped on her rings and the emerald necklace, that Kara had given her because “it reminded her of Lena’s eyes”, around her neck.
“Yeah, just thinking about some things,” Kara explained.
“You aren’t thinking about leaving me, are you? A girl needs her best friend, her maid of honor, at her wedding.” Lena teased, a hint of seriousness being added into there, due to Lena’s insecurities. When Lena was met with silence she gulped and turned towards Kara giving her, her full attention.
“I was just kidding, but now I am actually scared,” Lena started and was again met with silence. “Kara, darling, please talk to me,” Lena said, placing a hand on Kara’s forearm out of concern for her.
“Don’t marry him,” Kara whispered in response, refusing to meet Lena’s gaze, terrified of her reaction.
“I can’t hear you when you mumble, darling. Not all of us have super hearing like you.” Lena chuckled.
“Don’t marry him,” Kara started, this time louder and meeting Lena’s gaze, “He does not deserve you. You deserve so much better than him, plus I don’t even think you love him.”Kara said, not breaking eye contact with her.
“I have to, I don’t have a choice. I never thought I would have the chance to be wife Kara, but I have always wanted to. I have to do this, I need to do this.” Lena explained, tears forming in her eyes.
“Marry me instead, I have always loved you and I always will. It would be an honor for me to get to call you my wife.”Kara said taking another step toward’s Lena.
“You don’t mean that, you are just saying that to say that because you are sorry for me. News flash, I do not need your pity, Kara.“ Lena said taking a step back from Kara.
“Lena you know me, you know that I would never do that to you,” Kara confessed and then closed the distance by pressing their lips together in a kiss.
“Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” Kara begged when she broke the tender kiss that she poured all of her love into. She rested their foreheads together. Green meeting blue, both containing fresh tears. Kara watched as tears rolled down Lena’s cheeks. There was a knock on the door that made them jump apart. Kara went and opened the door and Lena wiped her tears, praying to a higher power that her make-up was not ruined.
“It’s time,” Sam said and smiled at Lena. Lena nodded and forced a fake smile towards Sam.
“I am going to go and get in line,” Kara said and gave Lena one last look before she walked out. When Lena did not say anything, Kara’s heart broke a tiny bit, but maybe Lena just needed to think about it. Kara knew Lena, she knew she would do the right thing. But Kara was wrong, the music started and so did Lena’s path down the aisle; as Lena walked in the door, Kara’s chances walked out. Kara watched as James and Lena exchanged promises to always love each other and always be there for one another, Kara was a good maid of honor and watch the entire ceremony, but as the time for them to kiss arrived, Kara could not watch, because if she did; she knew that there would be tears running down her face. As Kara heard the cheers of the crowd and felt the rice hit her side, she knew it was safe to look, but she wished she wouldn’t have because as one kiss broke, James had gone in for a peck. That kiss was broken and Lena and James walked down the aisle toward the reception area.
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Kara debated going to the reception area because right now she just wanted to be alone with her feelings. But she could not disappoint Lena, she had a duty as a maid of honor, so she had to go. Kara took her seat next to Lena and Alex and stared at the food on her plate. Kara did not eat a bite, and shockingly no one said a thing; Kara figured it was because no one wanted to make a scene. Rao must have known how bad Kara was hurting because the wedding was coming to an end, the only thing left was the first dance and Kara could easily sneak out as the lights dimmed. Kara watched as James took Lena’s hand and lead her to the center dance floor, the couple had decided upon Can’t Help Falling In Love but the Crazy Rich Asians version. Kara watched as James wrapped his wrists around Lena’s waist and Lena’s arms around his neck; as they started to sway.
Wise Men say, Only fools rush in, But I can’t help, Falling in love with you
Kara stood, pushed her chair in quietly. Alex grabbed her wrist and gave her a questioning look. Kara just shook her head and started to make her way to the door, but as she looked back to Lena, she was her break contact with James and make eye contact with her instead.
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help, Falling in love with you
Time seemed to come to a halt as the two women looked at each other as the song kept playing behind them.
Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes. Some things Are meant to be
As the lyrics of the song took a pause and had an instrumental solo, Kara felt tears slide down her cheeks.
So take my hand, Take my whole life too. For I can’t help, Falling in love with you
This song felt like it was written for Kara and Lena, like Elvis Presley was a time traveler and he wrote this song, with their situation in mind. As the song came slowed and came to an end it felt like Lena and Kara were the only ones in the world. Kara whispered an “I love you” before their trance was broken by the claps of the audience and James pulling Lena into a kiss, unaware of his wife’s internal battle. When the kiss broke, Lena looked back to where Kara was standing during their moment but was met with the sight of the door shutting. Lena went to walk to the door, but James took her hand and led her back to their table.
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After the wedding James and Lena went up to their hotel room, and as soon as they entered the room James’ lips were on hers and his hands on her dresses zipper, but as his hands trailed the zipper down, all Lena could think about was how she wished those rough hands were Kara’s soft ones. James’ lips trailed from Lena’s lips to her neck, Lena could not do this. She needed to calm down because all she could think about was how soft Kara’s lips were and how passionate yet delicate Kara was with her when she kissed her earlier.
“James,” Lena said as she put her hands on his chest. But James took her saying his name as a sign of pleasure, so his actions did not stop and he continued. But Lena could not bring herself to enjoy this.
“James,” Lena said again, this time the hands on his chest pushed him back and he gave her a look of confusion.
“What,” James said clearly annoyed with Lena’s actions.
“I am on my period. We can’t.” Lena lied, she wasn’t. Her period was not due for another week, but James did not know that. James never cared, whenever Lena had her period, James always had a business trip out of town; which meant that usually Kara came over and watched movies with and made sure that Lena had enough water and that if she needed anything she had it.
“Oh come on babe. You couldn’t have planned our wedding at a better time? You knew I was going to want to consummate our marriage right after.” James said looking at her with disgust. Lena looked down and mumbled, “I’m sorry.” James sighed and started walking to the bathroom.
“Whatever. I am just going to take a cold shower.” James said as he walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. Lena flenched in response, slammed doors was something Lena always had struggled with, she remembers as a kid that the only times the doors were slammed was when she had done something wrong, and what usually followed was Lionel’s belt and Lillian’s hand leaving bruises that would last for a while. Lena pushed her tears down and took off her make-up and her dress and changed into some comfy pajamas and got into bed. When James came out of the bathroom, he changed into some sleep pants and got into bed. He laid down in bed and faced away from Lena so she was staring at his back.
“Great. He is pissed at me.” Lena mumbled to himself and rolled over onto her side and watched the stars twinkle in the night.
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Time seemed to be crawling by as Lena tossed and turned struggling to be able to fall asleep. Lena looked out onto the balcony and sighed. Lena threw the blankets off of her and shuffled over to the balcony door and slid it open. As Lena stepped onto the balcony she was met with the chilly night air, but Lena was starting to get used to it, due to how many times she and Kara would have late-night talks on her rooftop balcony at her apartment. Lena looked up into the sky and watched at how everything seemed so calm, minus the sounds of the city, coming from the street below her. Lena looked up above her and saw the red glint of mars, whenever Lena saw Mars’ light Lena thought of Kara because when Kara had told her she was Supergirl and told her about her home planet she used Mars’ color as a way to visually show Lena what the color of Krypton would have looked like. Lena’s thoughts were broken as she felt two arms wrap around her waist, and lips touch the back of her neck, causing her to flinch at first.
“It’s just me,” James started, ”Come back to bed.” James’ armed loosed on Lena’s waist and he turned her around so they were facing each other. Lena searched his eyes for something anything that would stop her from saying what she wants to say.
“I can’t do this James,” Lena admitted looking him straight in the eyes.
“Do what? Come back to bed. It’s easy, move the right leg, then the left until you arrive back to the bed.” James chuckled, proud of his response.
“No, this,” Lena said pointing a finger between the two of them.
“What! Why?” James asked taking a step back from Lena and looking at her in shock. But Lena looked down at her feet and started to play with her fingers, trying to come up with an answer that did not just have one word that started with the letter “k” and end with the letter “a”. But her response never came, so James filled one in for her.
“It’s because of Kara isn’t it?” James asked looking at Lena and raising her chin, so their eyes met. Lena looked at him in shock and responded with, “How did you know?”
“I can see the way she looks at you Lena, plus you always look back at her the same way,” James explained to Lena, James had known about their secret glances from the start of his and Lena’s relationship, but he did not think anything of it because thought he had won. He never thought that Lena would actually choose Kara over him, I mean just look at him; any woman would be lucky to be with him.
“I am sorry,” Lena said, she genuinely was. If Lena would have known that she would have this much regret of not telling Kara her feelings when she had the chance, she would not have gone through with the wedding.
“I know you are,” James said reaching for Lena’s hands, Lena looked down in confusion and watched as James took off Lena’s wedding ring and engagement ring.
“Go and get her Lena.” James said and Lena nodded and said a quick, “Thank you.” As she sprinted out of their hotel room, down the stairs, and out into the street, after the woman she loved since she walked into her office, the woman who always believed in her, the woman she wants to spend the rest of her life with, then woman she wants to build a family with. She hailed a cab and gave him a hundred dollar bill telling him Kara’s address and telling him to, “Step on it.”
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When the taxi pulled up to the curb, Lena jump out and ran into Kara’s lobby. She made sure to tell Darrell, the man at the front desk, Hi, before she rushed up the seven flights to Kara’s door. Lena pounded on the door, not caring that it was three in the morning and most likely Kara’s neighbors were sleeping. Lena heard footsteps on the other side and expected Kara to be the one to open the door, but when the door swung open it was not the blonde-headed journalist who stole Kara’s heart. Instead, it was James’ best man, Winn, who was standing there with his hair all messed up and his shirt missing.