Chapter Text
It was there, in the back of his throat the whole day, but he just couldn’t get the words out.
Where were you last night?
Kuroko repeated that question over and over again in his head but for the life of him he just couldn’t say it.
Because I don’t want to know the answer he thought to himself as he and Aomine ate dinner. It was a day off for the both of them and they had spent it together at home, lazing around and watching movies. But Aomine was tense and awkward the wholle time, which just made Kuroko even more anxious
Aomine got home late last night, which wasn’t weird considering his boyfriend was a police officer. But he hadn’t answered his phone when Kuroko had called him, and he had acted strangely when he had finally come back, looking disheveled and reeking of alcohol.
“Tetsu” Aomine called; his voice somber. They were washing the dishing with Aomine doing the washing and Kuroko drying. Kuroko paused in drying the dish in his hand and looked at his lover. Aomine was tense, his hands on the sink. “I…about yesterday”
Kuroko felt dread building up in his stomach, it was the same feeling he had the first time he had felt Aomine was changing in middle school—but ten times worse.
Aomine remained silent and it only served to increase the feeling, like a weight in his stomach.
“Where were you?” He blurted out. There. He had said it, but it did little to help, in fact it only made the weight grow larger.
“I…I went out to have a drink with the guys. We got a little bit drunk” Aomine said and Kuroko prayed for that to be all, that Aomine would grin at him and apologize for not answering his phone and worrying him. And Kuroko would feel like an idiot and so relieved that he’d smile and kiss Aomine and say it was alright.
But Aomine took a deep breath and turned to Kuroko, and the guilt and pain in his eyes told him that was not the case
“I ran into an old friend of mine and we…she….” He paused, looking at Kuroko, his eyes pleading for him to understand “It didn’t mean anything Tetsu…I-I swear”
And the weight burst, spreading throughout his whole body and gathering in his chest, putting so much pressure on his heart it felt as if it was about to crumble. He stood there shocked for a moment before snapping himself back to the present
He moved to return the plate he had honestly forgotten he was holding, and he nearly made it-if his arms hadn’t been trembling- but ended up smashing the plate into the counter, hissing as the glass dug into his palm.
“Tetsu!” Aomine exclaimed but Kuroko had already knelt down to gather the broken pieces. Aomine knelt across from him and Kuroko could feel the weight of his gaze on him.
“Tetsu, your hand is bleeding. Stop” he reached to grab Kuroko’s arm but the latter flinched and pulled them away hastily. He took a deep breath, schooling his features into his familiar blank expression before looking up. Aomine was frowning, his eyes worried.
Kuroko stood up and went to the bathroom, and started washing his hand to get the blood away. His mind was firing off thousands of thoughts and he couldn’t get it to quiet down. All he knew was that Aomine cheated
Aomine cheated
Aomine cheated
Just as he was wrapping his injured hand with gauze from the first aid kit, aomine appeared. Looking miserable and guilty and standing awkwardly at the door the way he always did when he had done something wrong
“who was she?” Kuroko hated how his voice was a bit hoarse but it was all he could to to keep it together.
“Ayame Rin. She used to go to college with me… I-I don’t know how it happened”
“I’m sure you have an idea” Kuroko said icily, turning to Aomine “One does not just happen to have intercourse with someone who is not one’s partner”
“I was drunk and I just…I don’t know what I was thinking” Aomine started and the anxiety actually made Kuroko feel like he was going to vomit. The nausea hitting him like a tidal wave “One minute we were talking and the next we—“
“Stop” kuroko choked out. He didn’t want the details because then he’d imagine it. Imagine Aomine walking with a girl towards a hotel. Imagine him kissing her, holding her, touching her and he couldn’t. He couldn’t because he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He couldn’t handle it and it felt like he was being repeatedly slashed with a knife all across his body
He turned to Aomine and it was all he could do to keep himself together“Why?” he asked, feeling idiotic and fragile and cursing himself for it.
“Tetsu-“
“No tell me this, Aomine-kun. You owe me this” The uncharacteristic plea shocked even himself. “Why?”
Aomine’s adam ’s apple bobbed as he tried to swallow, his expression tortured “I-I don’t know…Tetsu I’m sorry”
It felt like the walls were closing in, like any second now the floor would cave in and he’d fall into the abyss swirling within but none of that happened. Instead he found himself walking out of the bathroom, to the living room. He needed to leave, he had to leave because he felt like he was going to suffocate.
“Tetsu…please.” Aomine chased after him, grabbing his wrist to stop him “Please don’t do this”
But Kuroko jerked his arm back because all he could think was that those hands were on someone else, those lips on someone else’s and oh god it hurt! It hurt like he’d never thought anything could hurt before!
He had to leave, he was going to break down if he didn’t. He turned around again to leave when Aomine croaked “How do I fix this?” He sounded so lost, so pained and Kuroko never thought he’d ever want to walk away from Aomine when he sounded like that. “Tell me…I-I’ll do anything” Kuroko held the door open, his back turned to him
“You’ve done enough, Aomine-kun” He left, closing the door behind him. And then he ran, he ran and kept on running until his chest hurt and his legs were shaking and he couldn’t breathe. And he wondered how much of that was because of the running.
He went to the first place he thought of and that was Kagami’s apartment. But he didn’t go up; he just sat at the bottom of the stairs with his head in his hands, breathing heavily.
He felt numb. He felt tired. But most of all he felt…everything. Anger, frustration, pain, sadness, agony, longing, hurt. All of those feelings were raging a war inside of him and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare so Aomine can comfort him, tell him he’s there, thay he’ll never leave him. Tell him that the nightmare was over.
But it wasn’t
It was just getting started