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Letting out a deep sigh, Arthur perched himself on a log by the fire at the end of camp. It was their first night in the new settlement, a quiet place at the foot of the mountains. A safe place. On one side stood a vertical wall of stone, blocking outsiders from easy access. On the other was the rushing water of the legendary Fleur River. The only way in or out was from the sides, which required taking a long route from either direction. Hosea had helped him to scout the place out a few days back, and Dutch agreed it felt like a suitable area to turn into their new home.
The gang was steadily growing. It wasn’t just the three of them anymore, like the old days. There were more men now. John, Bill, and Javier were a few of the recruits to join them over the years. There were even women in their company - like Susan and Abigail, who was with child. After all this time, they had grown together in ways Arthur had never imagined.
Arthur stared out across the camp as he brought his satchel to his lap and retrieved the journal inside. He balanced it on his knee, fingers tapping the outer cover as he thought about how to depict the layout of the tents bathed in the soft glow of the fire. It was silent now, most of the others having already turned in for the night. Glancing down, Arthur’s fingers curled around the outer edge of the journal. Just as he was starting to open it, a voice made him freeze.
“Do you record everything in that journal of yours?”
Dutch.
Turning his head, Arthur could see the silhouette of his body leaned against a tall oak tree just beyond the reaches of the firelight. Dutch pushed himself away and began to come closer as Arthur replied, “No, not really. Just when I feel like it, I guess.”
Continuing to draw closer, Dutch wrapped a warm hand around his shoulder, grip firm as it slid down to his bicep. Arthur leaned into the touch, head gently nestling against Dutch’s hip. Drawing in a deep breath, Dutch spoke again, “You know, it is okay to have some secrets, Arthur. You don’t have to write it all down.”
“I know. It’s just…” his voice trailed off as he stared into the fire. He bit his lip, his eyes narrowing slightly.
It was silent for a few moments, and Arthur made no attempt to pick up where he left off. Realizing this, Dutch prodded him on. “Just, what?”
Arthur sucked in a deep breath through his nose and let his eyes flutter shut, heightening his other senses. He could feel the mellow warmth of the fire upon his exposed skin and the sound of the waters flowing calm and steady behind him. The scent of Dutch’s cigars and stolen cologne were rich on his waistcoat as Arthur pressed his cheek tighter against him. “I don’t want to forget, in case anything ever happens.”
Blinking his eyes back open at the sensation of Dutch releasing a sigh, Arthur glanced up at him. He was staring down at Arthur, brows knitted into a tight expression and lips pursed. He leaned closer, moving his hand to Arthur’s lap. Grabbing a hold of the journal, Dutch tugged it from his grasp.
Setting the journal down on the log beside Arthur, Dutch then offered his hand. “Come on, walk with me.”
Wordlessly accepting the outstretched hand, Arthur allowed Dutch to pull him to his feet. He let go to walk around the log and join him on the other side, tucking his hands deep in the pockets of his tan gunslinger jacket as he did so. Dutch stared off towards the river, avoiding his gaze. Arthur fell in line with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, as they trudged over the fine pebbles at the water’s edge and ducked under the occasional branches of the trees lining the shore.
They passed by Javier at the edge of camp. He was reclined against a tree, rifle folded across his lap as he took his turn on guard duty. Arthur looked over to him as they passed and gave a nod. Wordlessly returning it, he watched as the two of them retreated beyond the camp’s boundaries. They walked on in silence for a few minutes, before Dutch finally spoke up.
“There’s something on your mind, son.”
It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t necessarily a command to speak either. Arthur absentmindedly kicked at a large stone in his path, watching it hop across the ground and splash under the water’s surface. Dutch remained quiet, still staring out across the river.
“I don’t know…” Arthur glanced up through the trees overhead, to the full moon and stars shining between the branches, “… we don’t get much time no more. Us, I mean. You and me.”
Dutch cocked his head towards him, Arthur glanced over to catch his eye for a moment. Frowning, Dutch slowed his pace as he looked back towards the river. “What are you trying to say?”
“Things have changed, Dutch.” Arthur sighed, abating his own speed to keep in line with the other man. “They ain’t what they used to be.”
“No, they ain’t. But look at all the bullets we’ve dodged, all we’ve been through together. I’m still breathing, and you… my boy, it doesn’t matter how many people come and go. Where would we be without you?” Dutch paused then, stopping altogether. He turned his face, glancing to the ground below and avoiding Arthur’s gaze. His voice dropped to just above a whisper, deep and low. “Where would I be without you?”
Arthur came to a halt alongside Dutch as he let out a soft chuckle, tense and hesitant. “Ah, I didn’t mean nothin’ like that. The gang is growin’, that’s all. You have more responsibilities now, more people to look after. B’sides, what about Hosea? Susan? John and Abigail?”
Dutch’s face snapped up towards Arthur, his whole body rounding on him. His eyes were steady and unwavering as he shook his head. “You ain’t like them. Sure, they’re all like a family to me, but you’re different. You’re…” he took a step closer, “…you’re something more than family.”
Suddenly feeling uneasy, Arthur took a step back to put more distance between them. He glanced in the direction of the camp, now just a faint speck of light in the distance. They were truly alone. Dutch crept closer still, his intense gaze never looking away. Arthur tried to laugh again, but it came out more like a strained choke this time as his face twisted into a grimace. He averted his eyes downward and watched as the heels of his boots tapped against the base of a tree. Dutch kept advancing, but Arthur had run out of moves.
It was his turn to shake his head as he squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel the warmth of Dutch’s body pressing closer, nearly touching him. “But family… what’s more than family?”
A long pause. So long, Arthur almost opened his eyes to check if Dutch had left. But he knew.
The warmth was still there, radiating between them. Arthur nearly flinched as fingertips glided over his temple, brushing away the stray hair there. He allowed his eyes to open with caution. Dutch continued to stare at him, his eyes set and lips parted. His face dropped slightly as Arthur finally looked back at him. “Oh, Arthur…”
Arthur could say nothing, but he could not look away either. The heat of Dutch’s breath was so close, Arthur could feel the tingling sensation of each exhale as it met the moisture of his own lips. His eyes widened as Dutch’s thumb brushed more hair from his face, his hand wrapping lower to cup Arthur’s cheek in his palm as he continued, “… You don’t see it, do you?”
Mouth suddenly going dry, Arthur tried to swallow. His throat felt coarse, and his eyes narrowed as he shifted the weight on his feet. “See, what?”
The corners of Dutch’s lips twitched upwards into an amused smile as he gripped Arthur’s cheek with more force. The other hand snaked its way around his hip, fingers brushing along the top of his waistband. Bringing his face closer still, Dutch pressed their foreheads together. Arthur let his eyes flutter shut, feeling the tickle of Dutch’s own eyelashes on his face as he did the same.
Dutch drew in a sharp inhale, letting his next words fall from his lips as he breathed out. “I need you.”
With that, Dutch closed the space between them, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss as their chests became flush with each other. Arthur shivered as Dutch pulled back, just enough to continue speaking. His breath traced over Arthur’s jaw and the exposed flesh at his neck. “And you think I don’t miss this?”
Leaning in again, Dutch brought their lips back together. He tilted his head, nose brushing gently against Arthur’s cheek as he did so. Arthur felt his lips part, so he opened his own mouth in reciprocation. Dutch ran his tongue along the inside of Arthur’s lower lip, before pulling back away to speak. “You think I don’t miss when these stolen moments weren’t just exceptions…..”
Dutch met him this time with lips already parted. Arthur felt himself release a moan, somewhere from deep in his throat, as Dutch slipped his tongue further inside. Wrapping his hands below Dutch’s arms and around his upper back, he pulled the man even closer. Still, Dutch drew his mouth away as he continued, “…but instead, they were expectations?”
Not getting the chance to say anything in response, Arthur merely hummed into Dutch’s mouth as he resumed the kiss. Dutch rocked his hips forward, smiling at the feel of the growing bulge in the front of Arthur’s trousers. “In dark alleyways and alongside glowing campfires…”
Bringing both hands to rest on Arthur’s waist, Dutch held him steady as he rocked into him a second time. Arthur slid his hands lower on Dutch’s back, tightening his embrace. He could feel the pressure of Dutch’s own hardening cock on his thigh as he did so. “… you were always too... shy…”
Dutch’s voice cracked on the last word. He cleared his throat with a faint grunt, but Arthur could tell he was merely trying to keep his growing arousal in check. Smiling to himself, Arthur began to snake his hands closer to Dutch’s front as he kept talking, “… too afraid to go any further.”
Just as his hands were nearing Dutch’s belt buckle, he felt them being snatched up and pinned over his head. Arthur let out a terse cry at the sudden display of dominance. His legs squirmed and his heels dug deeper into the soft ground below as Dutch leaned his chest harder into him. Turning his head, Dutch nestled his nose in Arthur's hair as he pressed their cheeks together. Arthur shuddered as he felt Dutch’s chest rumble with a deep chuckle to accompany his next words. “It was always you who would swat my hands away... and I would let you...”
Teeth nipping gently at Arthur’s earlobe, Dutch let out a low grumble as he rocked his hips into Arthur again, hands still keeping Arthur’s wrists in a bind overhead. Arthur writhed under his grasp, unable to overcome the strength. He canted his groin outwards instead, trying to increase the friction between them. Obliging his yearning, Dutch ground back into him. He used the full weight of his body to push Arthur harder into the tree, the grooves of the bark digging into his back. A moan caught in Arthur’s throat as Dutch murmured in his ear. “Anything for you.”
Rubbing his cheek along Arthur’s, Dutch turned his head and brought their faces together again. Their lips met once more. It was messier this time, teeth banging into each other as they both breathed heavily through their noses. Dutch shifted his legs as he slipped one against Arthur’s inner thigh and urged him to widen his stance. “Until that one night…? The one when… you finally worked up the courage…?”
Dutch’s words became more strained and cracked as his breathing continued to come in unsteady gasps. He pushed Arthur’s legs farther apart still, and settling between them, he thrust his hips even harder against Arthur’s groin. He tipped his head down and buried it in Arthur’s neck as he let out a lusty moan. “Things became insatiable, then.”
The grip around Arthur’s wrists was beginning to make them tingle from a loss of circulation. He wriggled them with agitation, and Dutch eased up slightly. Still keeping his hold on them, however, he began to lower them onto his shoulders as he pulled his head back from Arthur’s neck. Face flushed and lips parted, Dutch stared at Arthur through half-lidded eyes. “But I still had a fondness for those early nights… still longed for them…”
Keeping his eyes fixed on Arthur’s, Dutch slowly released his grasp from the hands now resting on his shoulders. Arthur kept them there as Dutch let his own hands return to Arthur’s hips. Using the forward momentum of his next thrust to reconnect their lips, Dutch’s fingers curled around to Arthur’s ass. They squeezed gently, fingertips digging into the clothed flesh. “…such sinful acts… but covered in a shroud of innocence… so… alluring…”
Dutch’s voice was barely a whisper, the stress from his jagged breathing and heightened arousal overwhelming him. He slid his hands lower underneath Arthur’s ass and dug his fingers into the skin harder as he tugged Arthur’s legs up. Catching on, Arthur helped to lift his legs and wrap his thighs around Dutch’s hips. His arms enveloped Dutch in an even tighter embrace as he supported himself. Grinding his hips upwards as Arthur rocked his hips in time with the movement, Dutch bumped their foreheads together. Both of them let out simultaneous gasps of pleasure at the intense friction, beads of sweat beginning to mingle on their brows. “If only… I could have that again…”
Taking a deep gasp in an attempt to steady the shaking in his arms and legs, Dutch paused his thrusting to mutter, “… if only… you would let me…”
Feeling just as breathless as Dutch, Arthur didn’t bother with a verbal response. Instead, he slid one hand up to clutch the dark curls at the nape of Dutch’s neck as he forced their mouths together. He prodded Dutch to keep moving by digging his heels into his back.
At that response, Dutch slammed into him. The force of the motion jostled their mouths apart as Arthur turned his head to let out a choked sob. Dutch took the opportunity to press his face back into Arthur’s neck, teeth biting at the flesh. Arthur tried to keep a rhythm with the motion of his own hips, but Dutch was starting to act beyond his control. Erratic.
A bead of Dutch’s drool rolled down Arthur’s neck, disappearing below the collar of his shirt. Combined with Dutch’s rumbling pants, Arthur couldn’t help but shudder and release another strangled cry. His back was stinging and numb from being shoved into the tree trunk, but he grit his teeth and tried not to be too loud. The rough friction and restraint on his cock was staggering. His body was practically demanding release from the tight trousers.
And yet, the knowledge that it would not come only aroused Arthur even more. His fingers entangled themselves tighter into Dutch’s hair as he held on, his other hand digging marks into Dutch’s shoulder. Arthur could feel his toes curling and uncurling themselves in his boots and he desperately jabbed his heels into Dutch’s back. With each thrust, his feet slipped lower. Having to keep bringing them up to hang on, Arthur could feel his throat becoming parched as he panted from the exertion.
But Dutch’s grip never wavered. His fingers clutched at the fabric of Arthur’s trousers and the plump skin at the back of his thighs as he held him in place. Arthur could feel the pressure of Dutch’s cock, hard and constricted, as it prodded against his own. The burning so dreadful, the arousal so pleasing. The sensation was simply too much to bear.
A giant ball of flame felt like it was engulfing him from the inside out. Arthur’s vision was starting to blur, sparks flying across his hazy eyes each time Dutch canted his hips inward. He furrowed his brow as a trickle of sweat glided down his temple.
Arthur bit his bottom lip so hard, he was surprised he did not draw blood. He tried to take a breath between one of Dutch’s thrusts, barely mustering up the strength to call Dutch’s name as he turned his face back towards him.
“D-Dutch…”
He didn’t expect a spoken reply, and he didn’t get one. Dutch could merely lift his head away from Arthur’s neck and press their faces together, too out-of-breath to even grant another kiss. Not that Arthur had the resolve to care anymore. He felt like he was suffocating, each breath coming too short and fast as it was.
Screwing his eyes shut, Arthur sensed the muscles in his arms and legs tensing. He felt restless, stimulated and pained to the point of near-breakdown. His fingers clutched at Dutch’s body as his heels kept nudging Dutch’s hips impossibly closer to his own with each thrust.
Wanting to scream, Arthur shoved his head backwards into the tree’s bark. He could feel its rugged surface dig into his scalp. Dutch promptly loosened his grip to lower Arthur’s body, giving him more room to force their mouths together, despite their mutual lack of air.
It was too much. Dutch’s clothed cock continued to rub against his own as he slipped further down the tree. The pressure of his fingertips still dug into his legs… the heat of his mouth still set his lips aflame …
Arthur could feel a lone tear leaking out the corner of one eye as he came, a suppressed shout fading into Dutch’s open mouth. His vision was a mix of red and white bursts behind his closed eyelids. All his limbs tingled from the exertion, and if he hadn’t already been seeing stars, he most certainly would have the way Dutch slammed his back into the tree with such brute force as he also came.
Still gripping below Arthur’s ass and holding him upright, Dutch leaned his full weight into Arthur’s body. They remained like that - Arthur suspended in Dutch’s grasp, both trembling - as their chests continued to rise and fall against each other. Their foreheads pressed together, breaths intermingling. Neither said a word.
Eventually, Arthur could feel his sense of touch returning. His back ached, and his legs felt heavy as they still hung over Dutch’s hips. He moved his hand out of Dutch’s hair and cupped it against his cheek to gently push his face back.
Looking into his eyes, Arthur could see they were moist. From what, he could not say. He ran his thumb over Dutch’s flushed cheek, pushing a stray curl of raven hair away. Dutch smiled against his lips as he leaned in for a kiss. “Will you be able to stand, if I let you down?”
“I’ll manage,” Arthur assured. He eased the muscles in his legs as Dutch guided them back towards the ground. Keeping one hand on Dutch’s cheek, he used the other to hold onto Dutch’s shoulder and steady himself. His cock throbbed from the loss of pressure against it, and he bit his tongue as the inside of his trousers brushed along its sensitive skin.
Dutch kept his hands on Arthur’s hips for a moment as they silently stared at each other. Then, he slowly brought a hand up to grip at Arthur’s wrist once more. He slid the hand on his face around to his mouth, pressing Arthur’s palm to his lips. Dutch’s eyes never left Arthur’s.
As he continued to look at Arthur like that, his other hand slipped away from Arthur’s hip. Dutch began to pry at his own belt buckle, and once it was undone, he quickly popped open the buttons beneath using a single hand. Arthur narrowed his eyes and stayed still, uncertain of what Dutch was planning.
Grasping the hand on his cheek tighter, Dutch moved it downwards, never breaking eye-contact as he did so. Arthur’s fingers quivered as he felt them brush against the waistband of Dutch’s trousers. With Dutch’s encouragement, he slipped them beneath, feeling his flaccid cock twitch at the touch. Dutch winced and hissed an intake of air as Arthur moved lower. He could feel Dutch’s seed on his fingertips, warm and sticky. Tugging at his wrist again, Dutch made Arthur retract his hand. Yet, he did not surrender his grip. Instead, he helped Arthur lift his hand back up, guiding it to Arthur’s own mouth.
Arthur hesitated, but he parted his lips, pushing two of his own fingers inside. He hummed as he sealed his lips around the digits, a saline taste spreading across his tongue. Dutch gave a devious smirk as his hand crept up from Arthur’s wrist, forefinger tracing along his upper lip. Opening his mouth further, Arthur allowed Dutch to slip two of his fingers inside. He encircled them with his tongue, his cheeks hollowing as much as space would allow as he sucked gently.
Hooking his fingers inside Arthur’s mouth, Dutch dragged them out and pulled Arthur’s hand away in the process. He leaned in and replaced the fingers with his mouth, tongue pushing inside. A husky moan escaped from deep within Dutch’s throat as he twisted their tongues together and tasted himself. He prodded at Arthur’s jaw with his hand to get him to tip his head back and open his mouth wider. Complying with the command, Arthur hummed in response as he felt the muscles in Dutch’s cheeks tighten into a restrained smile.
Dutch pulled away, then. A string of saliva still connected their mouths for a moment as they broke apart, and Dutch smiled wider as he wiped it from his own lips. Taking a step back, he never broke eye-contact with Arthur. He continued to grin as he ran his fingers through his sweat-streaked curls and buttoned his trousers back up. Once the belt was buckled and his clothes were smoothed down, Dutch reached forward and grabbed at the front of Arthur’s coat. He pulled it back into place and brushed debris from the tree trunk off Arthur’s shoulders. Urging Arthur to step away from the tree, he also helped him wipe the dirt from his back.
Looking down at himself, Arthur did his best to get his clothes back in place and flatten the wrinkles out of them. His hands were clammy, and his knees became weak as he felt the mess in his trousers run down the inside of his leg. His cock felt so sensitive and so raw as he took another step forward. He could feel his cheeks redden as the reality of what just transpired weighed on him.
“Do I look… decent?” Arthur inquired, throat burning with dryness as he spoke.
Dutch turned his attention to Arthur’s face as he helped to rub the sweat off his brow and sweep his hair back into place. Leaning in, he pressed an earnest kiss to his forehead. “Oh, Arthur. If only you could see the state of yourself… I don’t know if you’ve ever looked more breathtaking than you do now.”
“That ain’t exactly what I meant...” Arthur’s blush deepened. “I meant, what if we run into somebody on the way back? Will they suspect…?”
Patting him on the shoulder tenderly, Dutch let out a low laugh - a genuine laugh, one that accentuated the plumpness of his cheeks and brought out a twinkle in his eyes. His face was still flushed, his hair was a mess, and his clothes were disheveled. Arthur couldn’t help but allow his own lips to twist into a thin smile as his eyes wandered over the disorderly appearance of the man before him. It had been a long time since he last saw Dutch so unraveled.
A rare sight, indeed.
“Why should you care what others think?” Dutch pulled at his shoulder, pointing him back in the direction of the camp. “We’re outlaws, Arthur. We make a point of living against what others consider acceptable.”
Arthur nodded his head, knowing he had a point. But when he turned to look at Dutch, he could still feel the blush burning at his cheeks.
Dutch smirked at him as he released a sigh. He used the hand on Arthur’s shoulder to push him forward. “But if that’s how you feel, head on back to camp without me. I could use a smoke, anyway.”
After taking several steps, Arthur stalled and glanced behind himself. He frowned slightly as he dug his fists back into his pockets and hunched his shoulders inwards. “You sure?”
“Yes, go on,” Dutch reassured as he retrieved a cigarette and match from his breast pocket. As he lit it up, the flame briefly illuminated his face. Arthur did as he was told. He bowed his head as he began to make his way towards the glow of the camp in the distance, but just as he took another few steps, Dutch called out, “Wait, there is something else...”
Arthur stopped. He felt his chest tighten as he lifted his head and looked back again. “Yeah?”
“How about you leave this one out of your journal?”
The orange glow from the end of Dutch’s cigarette was just enough to light up the mischievous grin playing out across his lips. Arthur let out a deep exhale as he felt the knot in his chest loosen. He shook his head and grinned. “You know, I think this one can stay between just us.”