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Dear Mama and Daddy,
I hope this letter finds you well.
I’m writing to you to apologize and to explain a few things which I worry I can’t say over the phone. I know, Daddy, that you’re still angry and disappointed, and I’m really sorry about that. I never set out to end another marriage and if I could have helped it, I wouldn’t be writing this letter today.
I did love Fritz very much and I’ve been thinking real hard about what went wrong between us. Something had been wrong for a long while and I can now see that we just didn’t fit right. We wanted different things out of life and, for a while, the love we had for each other was enough to keep us from thinking about that too much.
I know that this is the hardest thing to accept for both of you, and I know I have disappointed you, but in the middle of all this, I ended up having feelings for somebody else. I wish there was anything I could say to you, but I know you have lost faith in me. I wish I could say that this one is different. I wish I could say that this one’s for life. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all this, it’s that there are no certainties. I’ve been trying to stop telling people what they want to hear, and I’ve been trying to not make promises that I have a hard time keeping.
Now this is the difficult part because I never thought that this was a conversation we would be having, and I just don’t know how you’re going to take this news. I’ve been putting it off because I’m afraid you won’t understand, and I don’t know how to explain it to you. But I realize it isn’t fair to not at least give you the chance. I have been hiding this from you, from Fritz, everyone, but I have arrived at a point in my life where I’m just too tired. I’ve been tired for a very long time, hiding away too many secrets, and in doing so, I’ve lost sight of who I am.
But I know who I am now. I feel as if I have finally gotten to know myself – the good and the bad, and that being both is just fine.
I love Sharon Raydor. You’ve met her once or twice. Sharon said she would really like to see you again, and I would very much like to introduce you properly, but I know you may need some time to let the news settle. I do understand that this must be very difficult for both of you.
Mama, Daddy, I know this is very hard and I’m sorry. I wish I had figured all this out a lot sooner, that’s probably my greatest regret – that, and hurting you and Fritz. I just hope you can find it in your hearts to see past all this because I feel as if, for the first time, I’m in a relationship that just fits. That’s all. And I can’t keep on living like there’s something wrong with me when the pieces just don’t seem to fit together right.
I hope you’re not too upset and that you’ll call when you’re ready.
With love,
Brenda
*****
Clay put the letter down on the table in the kitchen, nostrils flaring.
“Sharon Raydor?” He said, his voice booming. “That girl from Christmas?”
“Yes,” Willie Rae said from her spot by the sink. “She seemed very nice.”
“Very nice?! She’s a home-wrecker!”
“Clay,” Willie Rae said slowly, and he knew that tone very well, had heard it many times over the years. “Don’t you think that this is all very difficult for Brenda Leigh?”
He shrugged, glancing at the letter again. “I s’pose. I just can’t seem to see sense in all this.”
“Well,” she quipped. “I can. And I think it’s very brave of Brenda Leigh to write us this letter.”
Clay mulled that over, mulled over his daughter’s words that stared back at him from the crisp white paper – her words of regret, her plea for forgiveness, her frank admission. Brenda had always been one to pussyfoot around most things, usually, even things that weren’t bad, things that were supposed to be happy news.
Clay picked the letter up again, anger momentarily forgotten. “Willie Rae, get the phone.”