Chapter Text
It was all crashing down around her. Homura hadn't needed time powers to realize that everything was eventually going to. She was used to good things not lasting long after all (46 days at most)
Madoka was standing above her.
"She looks so sad..."
Truly, Homura was the lowest of the low, to force her friend to fight, when she knew how much she disliked it.
All around them, the (fake) town was in ruin in the aftermath of their stupid duel. One hating fighting and the other unwilling to hurt her adversary.
"What fools we are..."
"I ruin everything I touch, don't I?"
Homura wasn't completely devoid of sense. She had known, maybe a day after capturing Madoka, that it was only a matter of time until she lost her grip on the goddess's power, and then everything would be lost. So she contented herself with being able to spend time with Madoka before she inevitably reached apotheosis again, and put her down, like you put down the dog that bites the hand that feeds.
"I truly am trash, forcing Madoka to hurt me, knowing that it would hurt her..."
She was breathing heavily, remembering past mistakes. She should've stopped when she still could (stubborn), should've released her friends when they got caught up in it (cold-hearted), should've believed in Madoka from the very start (pessimistic), should've, should've, should've.
"Really, I should've acted as Madoka deserved..."
"Homura..."
Her breath caught. No. No, no, no, that was definitely not the tone of someone about to kill a friend, even a past friend.
"Everything is going to be alright, Homura, you'll see."
She couldn't breathe. It was just like when she was Homulily, she wasn't going to kill her. Madoka was unwilling to do what was necessary. The Devil tried to protest but her throat only croaked weakly.
"You've been terribly lonely all that time I was gone haven't you?"
"Do you think I forgot how lonely you will be once I'm gone? I know how to deal with loneliness (liar) but you deserve better, Madoka!"
Homura had seen what the Law of Cycles meant for Madoka from the memories she had stolen.
Madoka sitting in the vastness of existence, surrounded solely by dim soul gems and stars.
Madoka didn't deserve such horrid punishment for her kindness, Homura did for her weakness, for failing to save her (again), for betraying her, for-
"Don't worry Homura-chan, I'll be keeping you company from now on."
She didn't deserve to be saved at all.
Unseen by all, Okubyou rose from where she had fallen and readied another spear (coward)
It flew, straight and true.
Madoka dodged it effortlessly.
Homura caught it in the center of her palm.
A sound like glass shattering.
"HOMURA-CHAN! NO!"
"I'm sorry Madoka..."
Homura opened her eyes, surprised to still be able to. In front of her, a sort of counter. Behind it, an old man dressed in black and white. On his hip, a sword (strange seeing one that isn't a cutlass) Wordlessly, he handed her a paper ticket and she took it (with a hand she half-expected to still see speared through), still stunned to be alive. Immediately after grasping it, she felt magic pouring out of it (no, not magic, but something very close in origin) A flash of light blinded her, and her surroundings changed. She could hear footsteps around her, some exclamations of surprise (at her arrival?) She could smell dust in the air, and when her vision returned, she could see everyone around her was barefoot, and wearing rags. They were looking (staring) at her worryingly. The ticket in her hand had disappeared, but her hand was still extended. She let it fall to her side, numb.
She was in some sort of slums, in some backwater village. She was wearing some sort of white kimono, and was barefoot. The handful of people around her had started moving again, weaving around her, but not willing to stray close to her.
"They're afraid."
But not only of her, not even mostly of her. Their eyes wouldn't stop scanning their surroundings, keeping watch on everyone who came close to them. They all looked worried, as if anyone around them would attack them for any slight. They had resumed whatever they had been doing before she interrupted them, but wouldn't let her out of their sights for long, their eyes full of mistrust. Clearly, she would need to take the lead if she wanted to learn anything about this place. She scanned the unpaved and dirty roads, clearly not meant to support actual vehicles, and searched the people who stood all around her. Before long, she found a girl, surrounded by a gaggle of boys. All of them were close to her own age, maybe a little older. The girl was staring unabashed at her. Straight black hair and purple eyes, just like her.
"Perfect."
Homura started heading towards them, and locked eyes with the girl, who stood at the front of the group, daring her to leave before they talked. The red-head next to her stepped-up slightly in-front of her, but that only seemed to irritate the girl. The other three looked ready to bolt.
"Hello, my name is Homura Akemi. I appear to be lost."
The red-headed one had an angry scowl on his face.
"You're more than lost, you're dead, in case you hadn't noticed." he said.
Homura nodded. "That's what I thought, but I seem to have lost track of what was happening between then and now."
The boys seemed uncertain at her calm demeanor, but the girl fired back promptly. "This is the 78th district of South Rukongai, Inuzuri."
"Rukongai?"
"It's where dead people go after they die."
Homura looked around her. Was this Hell? If there was an afterlife, that was definitely where she should've ended up, and the scenery certainly didn't bring Heaven to mind.
"Is this Hell?" she asked.
The boy seemed amused.
"I know this place is shit, but trust me, you'd rather be here than in Hell. Why you asking, were you expecting to end up there?"
Purgatory then? The boy was looking expectantly at her... She needed answers, but for those answers to be accurate, she needed her questions to be rooted in truth. Or at least half-truth.
"I was taught that suicide would ensure me a place in Hell, but I suppose this shows exactly how much the nuns who raised me knew." she said, watching how they would react to a (seemingly) straight forward answer.
They seemed unnerved to discuss her death so openly. Strange, haven't they died themselves before? The boys in the back were eyeing one another uncomfortably, the red-head was trying to keep a straight face but was unable to keep from flinching slightly at her raspy voice (it would seem she hadn't fully healed from her death just yet), and the girl was still staring her in the eyes. Was she looking for a hint of deception? She continued when it became apparent that they wouldn't answer back.
"Well, now I know it doesn't I suppose. Would you be willing to tell me how things work around here?"
"Around here?" the girl asked.
"As opposed to how the living world works. I hardly think that the realm of the dead and that of the living follow the same rules."
The red-head scoffed. He seemed to be getting irritated with the conversation, and kept glancing at the girl, trying to make eye contact. She still refused to look away from Homura.
"Well tough luck Akemi, all of us here were born in this place, we wouldn't know what the difference would be."
That got her attention. Born here? People could still be born? Did that mean they could also die? She hadn't noticed, but now that she thought about it, there was a pinch of hunger in her stomach, and her throat was dry from all the dust in the air. Could she starve to death? Would she grow thirsty soon? What a strange afterlife...
"Where should I go to get food or water?"
The red-head laughed at her. "Look around you Princess! This ain't the Seireitei, we aren't exactly swimming in riches here!"
"Seireitei?"
"The center of Soul Society, surrounded by the 320 districts of Rukongai." the girl said "Nobility and Shinigamis live there."
So the rich district? And wait, Shinigamis? Well, after arriving to the afterlife, she supposed that Death Gods aren't exactly that surprising. She had been a pseudo-god for a time and Mado-
"Thank you." Homura said hurriedly. Then without waiting for their response, she turned tail and left (fled), ignoring the girl calling after her. Her view was soon blurry with unshed tears (dontshowweaknessdontshowweaknessdontshowweakness) Before long, she had collapsed in a side street, and with her back to the wall, she broke down. She cried her heart out. She bit down on her fingers until they bled to stop her sobs from coming out, choking on the blood and her emotions. She cried over her death, over her survival, over the loss of her friend. But above all, she cried because she wanted to go back to spending everyday with Madoka, and she was a horrible person for wishing such a cruel fate on her friend.