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Emma thinks of Milah, as they sit in the quiet. The boat moves gently towards its destination. It’s ironic, considering they’re headed towards the domain of the god of the underworld.
Like Gold’s, Milah’s face is illuminated with the eerie green glow from the river of lost souls. Despite that, she’s beautiful, and not at all like what Emma expected. She’d been expecting someone seductive and glamorous. Not someone worn by life and age, older than Killian, stubborn and defiant enough to snap at Rumplestiltskin and call him an idiot.
Emma had also been expecting jealousy—after all, the man Milah ran away with and stayed with for years is now in love with another woman. Emma has been pleasantly surprised by the lack of it. After the initial awkwardness, she and Milah have moved into an easy camaraderie. She could actually see herself becoming friends with this woman. If only she weren’t dead, courtesy of the other person currently present with them in the boat.
It takes a special kind of determination to sit next to the man who murdered her with only a twist of her mouth revealing her discomfort.
“After we save Killian,” Emma says, looking at Milah, who cocks her head and waits for Emma to continue. “There’s someone you should meet. Henry.”
“Who’s that?”
“Your grandson,” she says warmly.
Milah’s lips part a little, before she smiles so widely her face might burst. “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.”
Emma’s eyes find Gold. His expression is unreadable. She doesn’t care what he’s thinking about this, anyway.
She knows Henry will love meeting his other grandma.
“I’d be careful,” Gold finally says, “leaving her in charge of children doesn’t tend to end well.”
All Milah does at the barb is roll her eyes at her ex-husband before looking away, eyes flashing with guilt.
And you know what? No.
“I never said anything about leaving anyone in charge,” Emma says, voice hard. “I don’t appreciate you twisting my words for passive aggressive comments, especially when you’re not exactly one to talk.”
His eyes snap up to meet hers.
Milah frowns. “What do you mean?”
Emma gets a little payback at Gold for revealing all the sordid details of what happened between her and Neal back when she first met Milah.
“After you abandoned Neal,” she says, “he went ahead and did the same thing. He let him go through a portal to a land without magic.”
After three second of staring at Emma with disbelief, Milah lets out a dry sound that could have been a laugh, under different circumstances.
“You always were a hypocrite, Rumple.” Her voice is filled with centuries-old derision for the man. “Right before you murdered me, you shouted at me how I abandoned our son. You were after a magic bean, that day. You’d already abandoned Bae then, as well, hadn’t you?”
Surprisingly, Gold doesn’t get angry. Instead, he sighs.
“We’ve both betrayed him,” he says softly.
Her face softens, too. “Yes,” she agrees. “He deserved better. He’s my unfinished business. All I want is to see him again. To tell him…” Her voice catches. “Son, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for…everything.”
“You will,” Emma says, swallowing hard.
“I thought if I helped Killian, if I do something selfless for once, it might help me move on. It might finally allow me to see Baelfire.”
The boat docks.
“I suppose you’ll find out,” Gold says. “We’re here. I’ll stay and guard the boat.”
Distrust is clear on Milah’s face. Emma can tell she’s about to offer to stay behind and make sure Gold doesn’t screw them over.
Emma speaks before she does. “Milah, you should come with me.”
She looks unsure. Her eyes flick to Gold. “I don’t trust him.”
Gold scoffs, but says nothing.
Emma reaches out and puts her hand on Milah’s shoulder. “I want to help you move on and see your son again. To do that, we have to save Killian. Together.”
She considers it for a moment, before nodding. They both get out of the boat and leave it behind. Emma really hopes that was a good call and Gold won’t actually do something…Gold-like.
Her thoughts move to Killian. When they tried to get that message to him and he couldn’t hear her, he’d looked so awful. Tortured. And then when Hades tossed her the bloody hook…
Her pace quickens.
The river of lost souls shines brightly below them.
In the middle of the cavern is a round platform with a hole in the middle, above which someone hangs in chains. Emma’s stomach does a flip when she recognizes him.
“Killian!” she shouts.
Her blood runs cold when she sees he’s being steadily lowered downwards, right where the river of lost souls is.
“That looks to be our only way.” Milah gestures at a narrow metal pole. “You go first. I’ll follow once you’re across.”
Emma nods.
The way to him is excruciating. She has to be careful, lest she falls into the river herself, but she also has to hurry, or he does.
“Emma!” Milah shouts when Emma wavers so badly that she almost falls.
Her heartbeat is like thunder in her ears. “I’m alright!”
Finally, she makes it. She rushes towards Killian and gets him away from there, before removing the chains. He looks even worse than the last time she saw him, but relief is engulfing her nonetheless. He’s here. He’s here with her.
“I told you to let me go,” he pleads, voice weak, as if she still will. “You shouldn’t be here. Nobody should.”
She chokes out a laugh, filled with love for the man in front of her. “I never listen.”
“You’re impossible.”
“And you love me for it.”
Such an admission would have been the impossible thing, before him. Before she opened her heart, back when she was insecure and defensive when it came to letting people in.
She smiles brightly before enveloping him in a hug. She can see Milah finishing the treacherous trip across the metal pole and pulls back.
“There’s someone who helped me save you,” Emma says.
Milah steps forward. “Hello, Killian.”
His head sharply turns at the no doubt familiar voice, even after all these centuries.
“Milah?” he whispers. “You’re here?”
Milah smiles the softest Emma has ever seen her. “I missed you.”
Killian audibly swallows. “And I you.”
She approaches them. Emma stands up and backs away a little, nodding when Milah searches her eyes—clearly asking: would you mind? After the non verbal no, Milah hugs him. He trembles under her embrace. Emma’s not sure if it’s the pain, or something else.
And she doesn’t mind. She gets it. Milah is a part of him as much as Neal is of her. Their former loves have shaped who they are today.
Emma hears a tiny, desperate, broken sound.
Then the unthinkable happens: Killian Jones bursts into tears.
Emma’s mouth drops open while Milah stays completely calm, as if she’s seen it all before.
She probably has, a voice in the back of Emma’s mind reminds her. It's just that she would have expected him to smile and cover up his pain, something he has a tendency to do. She wonders what's different now. If it's seeing Milah again after all these centuries. If it's being with someone who clearly knows how to comfort him during a breakdown. If it's all the past events catching up to him; being turned into a Dark One against his will and his actions afterwards, being tortured by Hades, and now finally free of both.
She hears Killian’s anguished attempts to stifle his own sobs. Milah slowly threads her fingers through his hair. Killian seems to give up the losing battle then and truly cries.
The reason doesn't really matter.
Milah takes it all in stride, holding his broken body, pressing a kiss on a place on his forehead that’s not bloody.
Emma’s not jealous.
That sounds like a denial. It really isn’t. All she can think about is how much younger he looks when he cries. All she can think about is that she loves him so much, and if there is ever a place that he does not belong, it is this twisted version of hell.
Emma approaches before she leans into the two of them, rubbing her hand up and down Killian’s back, careful of his injuries.
It seems a long time before Killian can manage to take a proper breath.
“I love you,” Emma whispers. “I love you.”
“Killian?” Milah asks, voice gentle. He doesn’t respond or move. Emma wonders if he’s passed out from the pain, but Milah tries again. “Killian. We should get out of here, find a place where you can rest.”
For a long moment, Killian still doesn’t respond—then finally, Emma sees him nod into the crook of Milah’s neck. “Alright,” says Killian, muffled by the fabric of Milah’s jacket.
They all pull away before beginning the trip back.
(After, Emma will heal his physical wounds but they’ll disagree on wether or not he deserved to be saved. After, she will meet yet another prominent figure from Killian’s past: his brother.
But before any of that will happen, Milah meets her grandson. Emma was right. He accepts her easily, asks her questions about what his father was like as a child, talks about her favorite hobby—drawing—with her. It fills Emma with pride for her boy.
Before any of that will happen, Milah moves on.)