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Announcements, Ring Shopping and Bets

Summary:

So, Dean and Castiel have an announcement. Only, it turns into chaotic family bickering session.

Notes:

Just a bit of fun, honestly.

For reference, you could read the previous work in the serious, but not completely necessary.

And if you've read said precious work, you'll know; I'm a script writer by profession, therefore it's very dialogue heavy. You've been warned.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Um, yeah so, we’re… k-kinda- we’re-“ Dean took a long breath, “Cas and I are…”

“Banging like handsy little horny teenagers at a party with really cheap beer,” Claire cut in with a smirk, “We got the memo, old man.”

“Can it, Hot Topic!” Dean reprimanded, as he turned absolutely crimson, all Castiel could do was smile softly at this hopeless man he had rebelled against Heaven for.

“I mean, we probably got the memo before you did. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you still use carrier pigeon as your preferred means of communication.” Claire seemed unbelievably proud of her insults as she sat on a table in the War Room. Kaia was sitting in front of her, with Claire’s legs resting in her lap. Jody and Jack sat across from them, next to Donna. Bobby was at the head of the table, his legs on the table, leaning back on his chair, dangerously close to falling but calm as ever. Sam sat next to Kaia and Claire, with Eileen on his lap.

They were all facing Dean and Castiel who were standing awkwardly at the other head of the table. Well, Dean was standing awkwardly; Castiel thought he was too elated to be able to feel any other emotion.

 

“Alright, alright. So, Dean was a little slow on the uptake, you can’t blame him…” Sam cut in. Dean raised his hand towards Sam as if to say, ‘See? He gets it!’, “He’s always been a little dense,” Sam added with a smirk similar to Claire’s.

 

Everyone snickered.

“Fuck off! You know what? Just for that, you’re not gonna be my best man!” Dean chided with frustration, “Guess what kid, it’s your lucky day. You’re gonna be my best man,” Dean stated with finality, pointing towards Jack.

 

The whole room went silent. For a moment.

And then, another.

And another.

 

“Oh, fuck.” Dean whispered, finally realizing what he had just said.

The silence stretched on.

“I think this is the part where you congratulate us,” Castiel supplied.

 

The silence broke into simultaneous joyous screams and shouts, filled with ‘Congratulations’, ‘It’s about time’, ‘Finally’ and ‘We’re so happy for you’s.

 

“I didn’t think Dean would have the nerve to actually pop the question,” Kaia said.

Claire laughed right in her face, “He has the emotional capacity of a popsicle, he so did not pop the question, babe, Cas did.”

“No, no. It was Dean, he bought a ring around four months ago,” Jack interrupted.

“How do you know that?” Kaia inquired.

“What do you mean ‘how do I know’?” Jack asked confused.

“She means, did you use your big boy God powers to snoop on your dad, genius?” Claire said flicking Jack on the forehead.

“Claire.” Jody and Castiel chastised in their signature ‘Mom voice’.

“He’s the one using his powers to spy on Dean!” Claire complained.

“Am not! I know because I went with him to buy the ring,” Jack huffed looking awfully young.

 

“YOU TOOK JACK?” Sam squealed exasperated.

“Is that bad?” Jack asked, his voice small.

Sam seemed to realize how rude his words sounded. He put his hands up in defense, “No! No, buddy. I just mean, I thought he would take me too, you know? I kinda would’ve liked to be involved in my brother buying a wedding ring,” he said turning towards Dean with a decisively lethal bitchface that would’ve made Castiel shudder if it were pointed towards him.

Dean, however, just shrugged, “Payback’s a bitch, brother mine.” Dean smirked.

Sam huffed in response, "Couldn't have pranked you if you knew, could I?" He added grumbling.

 

“Still doesn’t mean Dean popped the question though,” Bobby chimed in.

“Et Tu, Bobby?” Dean said feigning injury, as though he had been stabbed through his heart. Castiel couldn’t help but smile. This man, with his snarky sense of humor, with freckles, glittered across his face like stardust, with his warm presence, with his kind heart and blindingly bright soul was going to be his husband. The thought warmed him beyond belief.

“Too much skin the game, kid,” Bobby said taking a sip from his beer, “Cas is the lesser of the two ijits, no offense.”

“All offense!” Dean huffed.

 

“And he bought a ring too, like, three (?) weeks ago,” Claire added.

“Now, how do you know that?” Kaia asked looking up at Claire with suspicion in her eyes.

Claire blushed for reasons Castiel couldn’t understand, “Cause he took me with him.”

 

YOU TOOK HER?” Sam and Jack screamed in unison.

“Yes, yes he did,” Claire’s smirk was back, “We made a day out of it, he dragged me to like, twelve different places and ended up with the simplest design ever. It was kinda cute, I’m not gonna lie. And he got me burgers and milkshake too,” she added, utterly proud of herself at having roused up Jack.

“Really? Cas, dude, what the fuck?” Sam asked.

Castiel knew he was going to have to bite the bullet, “Well, you’re his brother. So, I thought it wouldn’t be fair.”

“Yeah, fine but come on! He might be my brother but you’re my best friend,” Sam countered, “Or at least, that's what I thought.”

“No, of course, you are Sam!” Castiel replied hastily, fighting Civil Wars was easier than this conversation. “I just-“

“No, no. I get it. It's fine,” Sam said with another lethal bitchface and Castiel realized his previous assessment was very wrong. He was sure he was about to run away from the bunker in fear instead of just shuddering, now that it was aimed at him.

“Why not me, then?” Jack cut in, saving him a fear instilled trip to the other side of the planet.

“Jack-“ Castiel tried.

“Is it because Claire is your favorite?” Jack asked pointing at Claire, looking like a mixture of hurt and anger, “Cause she keeps saying she’s your favorite. Is it true then? Because that’s not fair. I’m way nicer than her.”

 

Castiel missed Purgatory. Purgatory didn’t have your adopted children fighting over who was the favorite.

 

“As if!” Claire snickered, “I’m totally the favorite.”

“Claire.” Jody and Castiel chastised in their signature ‘Mom voice’ again.

Castiel walked over to Jack, bent down on his knees to face him, and waited for him to look up. But when he didn’t, “Come on, Jack. That’s not true. Look at me.” Jack finally did, “I love you, very much. You know that. She is not my favorite…”

“Cas!” Claire whined.

“I love you both equally. Which is very much. Too much,” Castiel said, with sincerity. At his words, he noticed Claire’s face reddening. “Claire is just better at keeping secrets.” He said looking towards Jack.

“That’s not true! I kept Dean’s secret for 4 whole months!” Jack protested.

“Buddy, you gotta stop lying while I’m right here,” Dean said finally pulling a chair and sitting next to Sam. “You used your mojo to make him forget, how many times?”

Then Castiel turned to look at his son absolutely dumbfounded.

“Four times…” Jack replied with a small voice. “But I got better after that.”

Claire began laughing so hard, Kaia had to hold her to stop her from falling off the table. “This is why I’m the favorite.”

“Are not,” Jack threw back.

“Am too,” Claire replied.

“Are not.”

“Am too”

“Are not!”

“Am too!”

 

“Shut it! Both of you, monsters.” Donna cut them both off, her voice was firm yet kind. Castiel admired her ability to remain warm even when scolding two children who for all intents and purposes, in the eyes of the world, should not have been bickering like children, to begin with. “I need to know who popped the damn question.”

“Yeah, spill the beans, boys. Who was it?” Jody asked.

“I still think it has to be Cas,” Eileen said, signing.

“Eileen, come on?” Dean signed back.

Eileen smiled softly, “Sorry, good looking. You’re a little too… let’s say, emotionally constipated for it.”

“Hey!” Dean objected but it fell on deaf ears as everyone hummed their agreements.

Castiel couldn’t help himself, he started laughing.

“Really?” Dean looked pissed then, “You’re laughing at me too? I’m too emotionally constipated for you?”

Castiel raised his hand in defense, still laughing, “No, of course not…” he paused, “I mean, only a little.”

Everyone laughed.

 

“Oh? Well.” Dean replied, calm all of a sudden. “Must have been some other guy who confessed his undying love to you in the pouring rain.”

There it was; the smugness.

“Fuck off, I said it first.” Castiel chastised.

“Then freakin’ dipped!” Dean threw right back.

“To save, as you like to put it, ‘your very fine ass’,”

“My fine ass didn’t need saving,”

Castiel laughed, “Come on, saving your fine ass is how we met.”

“Are you really using that card right now?” Dean said getting up from his chair. Castiel knew was exactly what was coming next. As if on cue, “In that case, remember the leviathans?” There it was.

“Of course. Throw that in my face, why don’t you? That too, in some stupid way, was to save your fine ass,” Castiel began walking over to Dean, “But if we are taking a trip down the memory lane, would you like to revisit the Mark of Cain perhaps?”

Dean met him in the middle, “At least I didn't say yes to being Lucifer's meat suit!”

“Only to stop Amara.”

They were staring at each other, faces only inches away.

“You were just jealous,” Dean chided.

“Extremely,” Castiel replied, voice laced with anger.

 

For a moment there was no answer and then, “Really?” Dean sounded so genuinely shocked.

Before Castiel could reply.

 

“I think we should crown Sam a king of somewhere or at least pay for his therapy,” Jody cut in.

“The man’s a saint,” Donna added.

“Sent by the Gods,” Bobby said.

“Or maybe a God himself,” Kaia pondered aloud.

“Definitely Godly, at least,” Claire commented.

“As something Godly, myself; I agree,” Jack said somberly.

 

“The fuck are you guys on about?” Dean asked annoyed and lost.

“I too, don’t understand,” Castiel said.

“There’s enough sexual tension there, we couldn’t cut it with a knife,” Eileen said, “And we know for fact; right now, it’s not pent up. Kept my poor husband up all night, last night." Eileen cooed, "Which means me too by proxy!" She added as she slammed her fist on the table.

Claire made a gagging noise as Dean blushed.

“So, imagine the shit I had to put up with when you guys weren’t banging, for a fucking decade,” Sam completed, with a sly smile. “Anyway, I need money for my therapy. So, just tell us, who proposed?”

 

“Technically… we both did,” Dean replied finally with a fragile smile.

But he was met with angry groans and loud protests.

“What? WHAT?” Dean asked, lost.

 

Everyone began pulling out their wallets (except Jack) and handing 50 bucks each to Sam who accepted them all triumphantly.

“Therapy money,” Sam said smugly, kissing the bundle. “And you, you’re down to only one box of that hellish cereal every month, capiche?” He added pointing towards Jack.

“I capiche,” Jack replied dejected, “I still would’ve preferred if you’d accept money though.”

“I know. I don’t care.” Sam replied happily.

 

“You fuckers had a pool going?” Dean replied absolutely shocked.

Everyone looked around and just shrugged.

“We had one for who’d finally fess up first and when,” Claire said jovially.

“Who won that one?” Castiel couldn’t help but ask. He got a glare from Dean but he was too invested.

“Who do you think, Aziraphale? Yours truly, obviously,” Claire replied with a proud smile, “I know you both better than you think,” she added and then turned to look Jack right in the eye, “And that’s why I’m the favorite.”

“Are not!” Jack shouted, getting up from the chair.

“Am too!” Claire replied, getting off the table and facing him right back.

“Are not!” Jack said leaning on the table.

”Am too!”

“Are not!”

“Am too, Damien Thorn”

“Claire!” Jody and Castiel chastised in their signature ‘Mom voice’, again.

“Are not, E-Girl Wannabe!”

Everyone was silent for a moment and then suddenly, everyone was laughing.

“You little…” Claire began and Jack was running.

Claire was right behind him.

 

Castiel took Dean’s hand in his nuzzled his nose into Dean’s hair gently, “You’re not emotionally constipated, just… temporarily plugged.”

Dean laughed heartily, “Come on, sweetheart. We’re getting married, you gotta get better at lying to me.”

Castiel smiled at the sentiment, “I’ll try my best, fiancé.”

Dean shuddered. And then turned to look at him in the eye for a long moment and then softly kissed him.

“I love you, angel.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

Notes:

I have this idea about a whole family feud over who gets to be whose Best Man, and like a wedding scene planned too. Would y'all be interested? Let me know.

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