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Annie bounced into the Study Room F with a folded pink piece of paper clutched to her chest. Shirley right behind her.
“Annie’s got a Valentine’s date.” Shirley announced in her sugar-laced voice. Jeff’s stomach plummeted through the floor and his mouth went dry. He tried to keep his eyes focused on the game of Bejeweled he was losing. Jeff wanted to find whoever it was and tell them to stay the hell away from his Ann… their Annie. Whoever he was, he wasn’t good enough for Annie.
“Who is it?” Troy asked. Jeff looked up in time to see Annie’s cheeks heat.
“It’s none of your business.”
“Is it blonde Robert Downey Jr?” Abed asked.
“Ginger Chris Pine?” Britta added.
“Guys stop. It’s just a guy.” Annie’s blush deepened, and she started twirling her hair. Jeff quickly looked back down at his phone. He was hoping this would be the end of the conversation, but Shirley had to butt in again.
“His name is Jason, and they have been making googley eyes at each since last semester.”
Jeff froze. This had been going on for the entire semester? How had he not known about this? Sure, Annie had been more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed lately. Jeff figured that was because they had been spending more time together. They had cleaned the black mold in both the east and the west stairwells. Annie roped him into spending his last five Saturdays helping her catalog the school’s newest shipment of library books.
They had spent hours sitting on the floor of the library, talking and sorting, just the two of them. Jeff told her about failing out of college and his childhood dog, Rudy. Annie told him about how she botched her Harvard interview and checking into rehab. Jeff also had to learn a new level of herculean self-restraint. Every now and again she would down at the library’s battered paper catalog, a frown line forming on her forehead. All he wanted to do was lift her chin and kiss her softly. Other times shed giggle at a joke he cracked, and it took every ounce of strength he had to not drop the books he was carrying on the floor, push her up against a bookshelf, and kiss her till they both ran out of air.
“Jeff…” He looked up and found that the entire group was staring at him. You can do this, Winger. What does it matter if Annie goes out with some rando, instead of…? Don’t think about that now. Jeff knew exactly what would happen. Maybe instead of a hippie collar, it would be a douchebag bracelet.
“You are all right.”
“You weren’t listening, were you?” Britta asked. Jeff needed a scheme. Something to keep Annie away from this guy, who was clearly another serial killer. Why did Annie always attract the worst men?
“Why do you guys care who Annie goes on a date with?” Jeff thought he could probably get Whitman to find another City-College to debate.
“Because he could be the one. You know I met Andre when I was around your age.”
“And look how well that turned out,” Jeff thought, but Britta actually said.
The room went dead silent. Everyone staring at Britta. Shirley looked like she was about to explode but then an always-oblivious Pierce came strolling through the door rapping a probably self-composed song. Within a few bars the entire study group turned on him, their earlier spat forgotten. Later, while getting some actual studying done, thanks to Annie. Shirley looked over to Annie and said, “Make sure you wear something appropriate. You wouldn’t want him getting the wrong ideas.” Jeff’s head snapped up. The blue flames in Annie’s eyes roared.
“Shirley, I don’t need…” Jeff quickly looked back down at his notebook.
“Shirley,” Britta admonished, “Annie can wear whatever she wants on her date. Right, Jeff?”
“Why would I care what she wears on her date?” He tried to pack as much nonchalance into his words as possible and kept his head buried in his phone. Truth was, it didn’t matter what Annie wore, she was beautiful regardless. This Jason guy was going to want to kiss her, regardless. A memory struggled to the surface of his mind. It was right after Jeff had gotten the group to turn on Rich. Rather than going home, he went to Britta’s. Later, they were laying side by side, both breathing hard. Once his breath had calmed, he asked, trying to sound as casual as he could. “Isn’t Rich too old for her?” It felt wrong to say Annie’s name while naked in Britta’s bed. Britta blew out a breath and shrugged.
“He’s a good guy.” And you’re not. She didn’t say it, but she didn’t have to.
The thud of Britta’s textbook against the table jolted Jeff out of his tumble-down memory lane. Jeff looked up at her and she gave him a knowing look.
Valentine’s Day rolled around, and all Jeff wanted to do was get out of Greendale. They had transformed the school into a pink monstrosity. The Human Being, dressed in a sparkly pink tutu, had been giving out coupons to a Kissing Booth all week. The hallways had been decked with pink and red streamers. The lunch ladies passed out Love hearts. It made Jeff want to hurl. Why did Greendale always have to take things one step further? Why could it for once not just leave an occasion alone?
Jeff closed his overstuffed locker and headed towards his car. He did not want to spend the evening with a bunch of lonely Greendale students who had nothing better to do than spend the evening in a cafeteria that smelled like old socks and mildew. Maybe he’d go to a bar, or drink at home and see what the E! Channel offered. He was about to turn on his car engine when his phone pinged.
Britta: saw Annie’s dress, don’t think Shirley approve.
Jeff’s mind was swept clean by the possibilities. There was a lot that Shirley wouldn’t approve of. Jeff had never seen an Annie Edison date outfit, though he had imagined it countless times.
Parts of him wanted to ignore Britta’s text. Even though there was no reason to. Britta had irrefutable proof that his feelings for Annie were anything but platonic. What surprised him was that she hadn’t teased him about it. He’d figured that the morning after she would have a hundred insults ready to go, but nothing. She never brought it up. Britta left before he woke up.
They continued to argue like they always did, but every time Jeff looked at Annie and then at Britta, she gave him this pitying look that left a pit in his stomach. Annie had spent their entire afternoon study session bouncing in her chair, a smile playing around her face. Annie didn’t even chastised Pierce when if there were going to be any hot slam-pieces at this party. Jeff sighed and got out of his car. One look wouldn’t hurt.
They had covered the cafeteria lights in pink fabric bathing place in a soft, pink-tinged light. Every table had a little bouquet of red roses on it with a matching tablecloth. The windows were covered in paper cutouts of pink, purple, and red hearts. The walls were hung with gigantic pieces of sparkling pink crepe paper. When his eyes landed on Annie, he gulped. She was wearing a dark red long-sleeve dress with a low neckline that made Jeff’s stomach do somersaults.
As he drew closer, he saw Annie listening to Abed recount the latest episode of Inspector Spacetime scene by scene. Her brows knitted together and eyes sparkling with interest. Most people’s eyes glazed over whenever Abed reached into his bottomless well pop culture nonsense, but not Annie. Annie cared about Abed and his love for Inspector Spacetime. Abed was over-halfway through the episode, and Annie was still giving him her full attention. Jeff stopped in his tracks as the overwhelming urge to grab her by the waist and kissing her before whispering, “Wanna get out of here?” assaulted him.
Before Jeff could act on the impulse, a blonde guy strode past him and hugged Annie. She giggled. Jeff looked away. This must be the wonder-boy, Jason. When Jeff looked up, Jason had released Annie. Now they were standing side by side, Jason’s arm wrapped around Annie’s shoulder, holding her close. Jeff’s hands clenched into white-knuckled fists to where his knuckles might split. Annie looked up at Jason and gifted him a gentle smile. Jason made Annie happy. Jeff heard the heart, he had been informed he didn’t have, crack. Every cell in his body screamed at him to flee. Get in his car and find the nearest bar. Drink his body weight in scotch and then find some hot nameless redhead to fall into bed with, so it wouldn’t matter if he called her by the wrong name.
He was half-way turned around when Abed called “Jeff, you made it.” He wanted to strangle Abed. Jeff wanted to believe that it was an accident, but he had known Abed long enough to suspect that it wasn’t. Rom-coms were a genre, after all. Jeff took a deep breath and tried to school his expression into something he hoped resembled indifference.
Annie’s eyes light up as she spotted him, making him feel light.
“I thought you couldn’t make it tonight.” Jeff rubbed the back of his neck.
“I forgot to put my textbook in my locker.” Jeff lied. It was not his most elegant one, but it seemed to do the trick. Annie frowned.
“Don’t you need to study this weekend?”
Jeff forced a smirk to play around his lips and said, “not if you let me copy your answers,” Annie gasped and stepped out of Jason’s grasp to swat Jeff’s chest.
“Absolutely not. Bad.” He grinned down at her affectionately. For a second they were back in their soap bubble world and the constant knot in his chest loosened. Then Jason recaptured Annie with his left arm and held out his right hand to Jeff. Jeff shook Jason’s hand and added more pressure than necessary. The younger man winced, and Jeff smiled.
Jeff hated Jason on instinct, but he couldn’t very well tell Annie that. She would accuse him of being jealous again. So, Jeff had done everything in his power to learn as much as he could about Jason, hoping to find a smoking gun. Jeff sweet-talked the dean into giving him access to Jason’s personal files. It wasn’t strictly legal, but the dean was happy to oblige.
The more he learned about Jason, the angrier Jeff got. Jason was twenty-five and had been his school’s debate champion and star quarterback. At Greendale he was a straight-A student and the only person allowed to make Ghost references in pottery class. Jason and Annie had met while reviving the Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror. This last piece of information kept Jeff tossing and turning. Annie had at first asked him to help her with the newspaper. He had said no, expecting her to come back and ask again. She didn’t.
Jeff watched as Jason led Annie out of the hall and Jeff felt the ever-present knot in his chest re-tighten.
“You know how this is pathetic, right?” Britta’s voice came from beside him. She had snuck up on him. He must be losing it.
“I know what you’re doing,” Her voice was unnaturally serious. He gave her his best courtroom smile.
“What am I doing?” Britta rolled her eyes.
“Lusting after Annie like some creepy old guy. God, men are gross.” She let out a huffy breath and crossed her arms.
“I am not old.” Britta shot him a glare that seemed to say: That's what you got out of that comment?
“As a licensed therapist…” Jeff cut in.
“Unlicensed psychology major.” Britta barreled forward, undeterred.
“In my professional opinion” Luckily, Abed was walking by, and to get Britta from talking about what they had buried years ago, Jeff hastily turned to Abed and asked, “did you see last night’s Inspector Spacetime episode?”
Abed cocked his head and gave Jeff a blank look. “Jeff, you know I did. I saw you when I was telling Annie all about it”. Abed had seen him. Seen him looking at Annie. Fear seized Jeff’s belly. He rubbed his neck again, heat building under his collar. Britta opened her mouth, and before she could say anything. Jeff did what he should have done minutes ago and fled to his car. Jeff plopped down on his couch with a groan and turned on the TV. He just needed to turn his brain off for a while. He landed on a show called The Ladle. Jeff did not know what was going on, but at least the host was good-looking.
Bleary-eyed, Jeff awoke the next morning to his phone ringing. He was about to turn it off when he saw the name Annie. His face broke out into a smile. Maybe Annie realized how unworthy Jason was of her time.
“Morning sunshine.” The Winger charm was back in action.
“It’s 2pm.” She scolded, but he could hear the smile in her voice. “So, the dean forgot to pay Greendale’s heating bill.” Jeff grimaced.
“Of course he did.”
“It got so cold last night that they couldn’t clean up after the dance.”
“Ugh, Annie. I have a feeling that you’re about to ask me to do something on my precious day away from that toilet-shaped hellhole.”
“Someone has to clean up,” she insisted. He knew what was going to come next. Maybe it wouldn't be bad. At least he could spend some more time with Annie.
“You weren’t even at the dance last night.”
“This is the least I could do.” Jeff groaned and fell back into his cushions.
“Fine,” he said reluctantly. “What time?”
“I’ve got a couple of errands to run. How about 4pm?”
Jeff swore as he entered a darkened and freezing Greendale. The cold bleeding through his Harvey Nichols coat, making Jeff shiver. Jeff Winger was going to find the nearest fire axe and kill the dean. Who forgets to pay their heating bill in the middle of a Colorado winter?
He longed for his heated car, but he had promised Annie to help. When Jeff entered the cafeteria, Annie flounced towards him. Annie’s cheeks reddened by the cold, an enormous smile lighting up her face, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She was wearing a big purple winter coat, gloves, and a purple and white knitted bobble hat.
“Hi Jeff” The fake cheer in her voice made Jeff’s head hurt. Something was wrong
“Annie, what’s…” She cut him off.
“I am F Y N E”. Her face set in a mask of determined Fyneness that Jeff knew all too well. But her eyes were red-rimmed and filled to the brim with some unspoken pain. She thrust a roll of trash bags into his hand and shuffled to the other side of the room. Anger clawed at his throat, but he swallowed it. Jason must have done something. Had he stood her up? Not kissed her goodnight? Told her it was all in her head in front of all their friends? No dummy, that was you, his brain chided. When Jeff had arrived at Greendale, his initial impulse was to always put himself first.
Slowly and without him even noticing, a little voice had wormed its way into the back of his head. A voice that reminded him it was ok to care about other people, even other misfits. When he had brought this up with his therapist, she had smiled and told him that that was his conscience. Annie had flipped the tables on Jeff and he hadn’t even noticed.
For the next two hours, they worked silently. Jeff tried a few more times to get Annie to speak, but she flat out refused. After finishing, they walked back to their cars. The parking lot only illuminated by a few ashy yellow lights. Annie’s car was still a pile of rusted metal. He wasn’t even sure if the car could go above twenty miles per hour, much less have heating.
“How about we warm up in my car? I have butt warmers.” She smiled at that and nodded. They slid into his car and within minutes the car was toasty warm. Annie let out a little sigh. Jeff turned to her.
“Who do I have to kill to make you shiny-and-happy Annie again?” She laughed. A fully throated laugh that warmed the inside of Jeff’s chest. She looked down at her lap and mumbled, “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.” Jeff’s old anger was back. Jason had hurt and disappointed his Annie. Made her feel like it was her fault.
“Is this about Jason? Because I have no issue punching that guy.” Annie shook her head.
“No, it wasn’t Jason. We had a perfect lovely time. It’s my fault.” She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and looked him right in the.
“Jason and I have been on a couple of dates in the last few weeks. We get along great, and yet whenever there is a quiet moment, I realize I’d rather be doing all of this with you.”
“Annie,” Jeff said, the warning clear in his voice, but Annie ignored him.
“When he kisses me goodnight, all I keep thinking is how he doesn’t measure up.” Jeff had been afraid of this. Afraid that even after all these years, Annie still couldn’t take him as he was. A broken middle-aged man who in his darkest moments could admit that he was only a big fish because he swam in a puddle. She claimed she loved him, but she didn’t even know him.
“Annie, you have this fantasy...” the gravel in his voice was harsher than he intended. Annie laughed joylessly. She had stopped crying. Her eyes bright and chewing her lip.
“You don’t get it. I know you’re a middle-aged man headed towards high-functioning alcoholism.” Jeff was stunned into silence, which was fine because Annie kept going. “You have a god-complex the size of Colorado and are the most insecure person I have ever met. You have repeatedly lied, cheated, and manipulated everyone. We both know that Leslie does an amazing job touching up your roots.” She looks at him with a loving and earnest expression that heated him from the inside. Her voice became slower “I know you and I like you just the way you are. Abed once told me that over half the people that know me don’t like me. They think I am a robotic know-it-all. You can make anyone like you. It’s this innate confidence you have, that makes people flock to you. You make me feel like I can do anything. I spent months staring at the application website for that internship in Denver. One day you come into the study room and look over my shoulder and say, ‘you’re going to be great at that’ and I filled out the application and sent it in that night. You made me believe I could do it.”
He leaned down over the console and cradling her face in his hands and kissed her. Her lips were warm and inviting. She tasted of cherries. The knot in his chest dissolving. Annie’s arms came up and draped around his neck, pulling her up and onto the console. She wobbled and giggled. He grinned at her. She looked at him through her lashes.
“Want to come over? I’ve got hot chocolate at my place.”