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The first time Annabeth accompanied Artemis to Olympus after Percy joined the Gods the hunter had been jumpy and unsure. She sought him with her eyes, at war with her desire to see him and her unease at having to face him. Annabeth had left so much unsaid when she had become a hunter, and she longed to confess the truth to her friend. She owed him that much. Even if what she wanted was now impossible.
At the end when they returned to the mortal world, Annabeth did not know whether to be relieved or sad that she never found him.
Relief and regret twined tightly around her heart in a bittersweet dance as it happened again and again. She began to relax on those visits, no longer looking for him; but the sadness of the change was not lost on her either.
Her visits to Olympus were spread out over several years, but when decades passed and she still had never seen Percy, coincidence began to form into a pattern. He was avoiding her, that much was clear, and though he had every right to do so the knowledge still left a dull pain in the hunter’s heart, like a phantom limb ache from a part of herself she thought she had left behind.
She didn’t want to miss him, it would be easier if she could just forget him, but it was impossible. Though her mortal memories grew dimmer with each passing year the time she had spent with Percy refused to leave her thoughts.
The year she saw him again it had been an accident. Artemis had sent her to the room where they had been staying to retrieve a forgotten item and she had quite literally run into him in the hallway. Off-balance, she stumbled at the impact and would have fallen if Percy hadn’t grabbed her by the sleeve to steady her.
It wasn’t until then that she realized who she had bumped into. Her eyes met Percy’s sea-green ones for the first time in almost three decades and her heart ached in spite of herself. He looked exactly the same as the day she had last seen him, lean and muscular and handsome; with a glint in his eyes that over a lifetime ago had made her heart flutter.
Percy’s face was startled and surprised, a mirror, she was sure, of her own, but after a moment it darkened and then cleared into nothingness, as if he had pushed whatever he had been thinking to the back of his head.
The immortal stiffened and released her, taking a step back and staring at a spot just behind her head, as if unable to look her in the eyes any longer. “You ok?” he asked. She felt a deep sadness at the way he had spoken, impersonal and much too far away.
She nodded back, throat unexpectedly choked with emotion. She remembered that her role was not to be by his side, that he was a god now and she bowed.
“Lord Perseus.” The formality burned but it was a fitting punishment. His eyes somehow seemed even sadder.
“Please, just Percy.” He gazed at her with an indecipherable expression, one that looked too old for his boyish face. But of course, neither of them were really children anymore. The silence stretched on as they examined each other.
She felt longing and sadness bubble in her chest, pressing against her tongue. She did not know if it was an apology or a question that she wished to say more as she took in the sight of him.
I’m sorry I left you, she ached to say. That confession had always been at the edge of her thoughts when she remembered him. She wanted to tell him and hope that he could hear all the regret in her voice, but she bit her lip instead.
It wouldn’t be fair to him to say that. And it wouldn’t change the fact that she had left.
As a daughter of Athena she had prided herself on her wisdom, but she had been blind to Percy’s feelings until it was too late. Some genius, she thought to herself sarcastically. It had taken until after her decision had been set in stone, after she had taken her oath to realize that the sadness behind Percy’s eyes had been because of her.
Did you know I loved you even then? she wanted to ask. With every decade her mortal memories grew fainter and fainter but Percy’s eyes and smile were still clear as day in her head. It had taken losing him to realize the depth of her feelings and she wished that life had not led them down such different, uncrossable paths.
Did you know that I knew I made my choice to join the hunt too fast? That I am proud to be a hunter, but I’m really a traitor because I was supposed to take a vow against men but I still see you almost every night in my dreams. That I had thought of leaving the hunt but I can’t.
“I missed you,” she admitted, voice low. There was no room now for anything but the truth. She let her head bow in shame.
This was a cowards confession, she was begging him to see the truth without really telling him what she meant.
“Yeah, me too,” Percy said and she glanced upward, unable to hold back from looking at his face any longer. Longing stretched across his face like a cloud and Annabeth choked back the burning in her throat as she took in the sadness etched into every line of his features.
He had understood. And he had kept loving her too.
Her heart constricted painfully in her chest at the realization. Overcome by emotion, Annabeth allowed herself one last, long look, committing every detail of him to her memory before ducking her head and walking down the hallway, barely contained tears finally streaming down her face.