Chapter Text
The Girl woke up to an empty bedroom. The light was out, the blinds were shut, but the reflection of light emanating from the satellite in the sky escaped past a small gap in the window – just small enough to light up the room. It was night-time, she observed from the bed on which she laid, which was rather too big for someone to be sleeping on alone. Slowly, she got up, letting the thick sheets that covered her fall to the ground.
She was naked, it appeared.
She turned to the side and walked over to a seemingly old cabinet spanning an entire wall where she assumed some clothes would be available for her to use. It wasn’t that it was chilly. As a matter of fact, she barely felt anything. But she supposed she could cover herself up for a semblance of modesty.
Inside was a single set of clean underwear, a soft, mesh, black button down shirt hanging up on the railing, a neatly folded, washed-up pair of jeans, and a well-maintained pair of Chucks tucked nearly at a corner. She thought that this would do.
The Girl now took the time to roam around and inspect the rest of the room. It was spacious, and the overall colour scheme gave off a cozy feeling that would reel anyone in for a good night’s sleep. A mini bookshelf stood proudly next to a desk, and on the said desk were three pots of small succulents with equally tiny hats on them. There was also a notebook — or more like a diary, she deduced when she picked it up - and inside was the prettiest handwriting that she had ever seen.
But.
She felt like she was intruding.
She put the notebook back down and went out of the confinements of the empty room – only to be greeted by a likewise empty home. The lights were out in the whole house. Almost devoid of all life.
“Hello?” she called out into the darkness, thinking that maybe the others with her were just asleep. When she received no response, she came to the conclusion that she was, in fact, alone.
Alone in a strange, dark house that was somehow both familiar and unfamiliar to her.
With the limited vision that she had, she cruised along the walls, trying to catch a feel of a switch that would make this exploration less difficult. It made her uneasy, though, being almost blinded and not knowing what might welcome her along the way.
Walking further on, she was finally able to make out an entryway that led to another room. And along the edge of the entrance, the Girl finally found the coveted switch that she had been hoping to find.
Immediately, light and colour filled the area, and now the Girl had an idea about where her feet had taken her.
It was a simple, modern living room with a modest-sized television mounted on a wall and a comfortable-looking sofa directly in front. Smack in the middle was a furry carpet dotted by neatly scattered bean bags and chew toys.
To the side, leaning against the wall were an electric keyboard and an acoustic guitar that were both starting to collect some dust. Next to them was a proud wooden china that enclosed various candles rather than porcelain. On the wall above the instruments was a portrait of a pair of girls carrying a small, white Maltese puppy cradled in the shorter girl’s arms. Almost like a family picture.
She walked closer, as close as she could at least, to the hanged portrait and took a good look at it. They were pretty, she had to admit. And looked like a very happy pair, judging by the way they looked at each other. The taller girl’s side profile was beyond beautiful with that sharp nose and those high, prominent cheekbones that ended in that sharp chin of hers. She had long, dark brown hair that flowed to her midriff and similarly coloured dark brown eyes and a scrunched-up nose that gave off a contagious sense of happiness. The first thing that she noticed about the other girl was her extremely fair complexion that almost glowed in the midst of the natural background with the winding path and the autumn-graced trees around them. She herself had long, straight, black hair and eyes that turned into crescent moons as she smiled widely and gummily at the girl next to her. She looked like she was laughing at whatever the taller girl was saying.
They looked happy. In love, even, the Girl deduced. And they had a great sense of style.
They must be the owners of this house, she thought. A female couple? Well done. She giggled to herself at the thought. Curious, she glanced at their hands but was disappointed to find nothing significant there except for the way they each gently held onto a paw of their pet as the shorter of the two carried him. That explains the chew toys.
As she roamed her eyes across the room, she was met with more of their photos in various settings. Some of just the two of them, a few individual shots, and quite a lot with who she presumed to be their family and friends.
When she was done admiring the happy faces that smiled back at her, the Girl found herself facing a certain corner in the living room which held a lone end table.
Atop was another framed photograph of a woman who seemed to have been caught off-guard by the photo as the sun set behind her, casting a pretty glow on her long, brown locks. The taller girl in the other pictures, she realized quickly. She is breathtaking. Beside it was a tall, unlit white and purple candle and a paper flower that was beautifully crafted for anyone who would like to admire it.
In front of it all was a small, fragile-looking, glass container that housed tiny, green-coloured beads that gleamed rather brightly in her eyes.
Feeling rather drawn to it, she walked over to that corner, which was seemingly maintained as a sacred place, and bent down with eyes squinted when she noticed an inscription on the side of the frame behind the glass case.
泣いて暮らすも一緒、笑って暮らすも一緒
•••
It was a few days after when The Girl realized that she was not exactly a living, breathing human being.
Not really, no.
It was more like she was stuck in between existing and being... she hated to say it but, well, dead.
It happened as she was passing by the wide, glass window in the bedroom.
It irked her, how nothing moved at the corner of her eye when she passed by. She took two steps back to do a double take and catch a glimpse of her reflection.
But instead she found nothing.
So she ran to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror.
Yet still, she found nothing.
The Girl felt her head spinning for a while at the odd turn of events. She leaned forward then and held onto the sink for support.
(Strange. A ghost needing support? Who would have thought?)
As she looked at the mirror where her reflection should be looking right back at her, it finally dawned on the Girl that all of it was, in fact, real.
It was really happening to her.
That explained why she never felt hungry. Or cold. Or anything at all really.
She kind of just... drifted.
And so the Girl, after hours of contemplation under the shower, no matter how absolutely, splendidly surreal she found it all, decided to just let everything be and let herself be carried along the stream that is the in-between in this strange, lonely house that seemed to have a lot of stories that are yet to be uncovered by her.
•••
Hence began the endless cycle of waking up to the darkness and roaming around the hallways and falling back asleep when she felt like sleeping once again and – again – waking up to the darkness.
She did not know how long it had been already since the first time that she opened her eyes to the once unfamiliar bedroom, but at least now she can find the light switches fairly more easily than the first night.
If someone asked her to lead them to an area of the house with her eyes closed, she thought that she could probably do so without thinking twice. To keep herself preoccupied, the Girl resorted to taking comfort in the books in the big bedroom. At least the genres had a wide variety, thanks to the owner. She spent days and nights living in another time, another place, another person. Then when she was done, she would promptly put them back where she found them (in case the owner was the type to throw a fit when their belongings weren’t in order.)
But apart from that, nothing much had changed, really.
The house was still the empty house that she woke up in that first night and every night that followed after. No other person - dead or alive - came through the door to sit down and maybe have a chat with her.
Not even the owner of the house. Not even the puppy.
And this made the Girl realize that, even in the not-nonexistent state that she was in, she, too, got lonely.
That was when she decided against all thought to just read the diary that she kept seeing from the corner of her eye.
She picked up the purple notebook with the faded, yellow pages, sat down in front of the bookcase, and flipped the cover over to the very first page.
If anyone asked, it was boredom that made her do it.
Property of Kim Sana :), it read on the bottom part of the page. Don’t read unless you want to have a farty butthole! She laughed at the warning. What a person this Sana must have been.
She turned to the first entry and started reading.
Dear Sattang,
Is it okay if I called you that?
It’s a nickname that my friends from home gave me, and I thought, I’m talking to myself anyway in this notebook, so why not just give you my nickname?
I’m gonna be honest with u tho, I really just couldn’t think of any other name ㅋㅋㅋ
So today I started writing again because I met someone.
Or should I say she met me.
The girl was taken aback when she realized that the journal entries jumped from Hangul to Kanji. This Sana was bilingual, and she was rather amazed by that. She continued to read about her day.
I was alone in the library cafe earlier when this guy started chatting me up even though I was clearly burying myself in coursework. He was getting a bit too persistent for my liking and was even taking up some of my personal space, can you believe it?! You know how much I hate that, right, Sattang? So when I saw this girl in a mask and a black beanie in an oversized black hoodie carrying a tray with her order while looking around for a vacant seat, I raised my hand up in the air and shouted, “Yah! Jeongyeon-ah! Over here!”
You should have seen the look in her face, Sattang ㅎㅎ
She looked so confused but I did my best to smile cutely at her even though my eyes were all like oh please please just go along with this ㅠㅠ
And it worked, Sattang! It worked!
She got the message pretty quickly, plastered on a huge smile through her mask, and started walking over to my table while I immediately cleared my stuff for her, completely cutting off whatever the guy was saying.
I’m gonna be honest, tho, Sattang....... I think I completely forgot about the guy’s existence as soon as she smiled at me ㅋㅋ she gay af
Then!!! After she placed her tray on
myour table, she kissed my temple and apologized for being late!!!I think I didn’t have to act anymore because!!! I got really giddy and started laughing.
And the girl did too!!!
And then the girl manning the counter (i think her name was Jihyo??) had to go to our table to remind us to keep it down because oh yeah! We were in a library cafe!
So, fine, we quieted down but we were still laughing because we didn’t even notice that the guy already left us alone ㅋㅋㅋ So that’s when we introduced ourselves to each other. Her name was Dahyun and she was two years younger than me and was majoring in English. But because she was smart, we were both in our last year of university which I thought was.... favorable iykwim. She has an older brother and she loooves chocolates and she had the prettiest little chinky eyes I have ever seen!!
So to thank her..... I’m buying her chocolate cake again on our next study date. But maybe not in the library cafe anymore because we almost got kicked out again for being noisy. ㅋㅋ
Mian, Jihyo-ssi! Sorry!
So yeah! That was my day and i cant believe how giddy I still am right now even though it’s been hours since that happened and now Mina-yah’s asleep but I can’t wake her just because I can’t contain myself so instead here I am, writing to you, I guess. I don’t know why I feel like I’ll need it, but... wish me luck, Sattang?
Sana-yah <3
•••
It was during one rainy night when she finally met her.
The Girl was sitting on one of the bean bags, perusing again through more of Sana’s entries (even though she had a push-pull relationship with that diary. She always reminded herself not to read it — invasion of privacy! — but some days... she was just too weak) when she heard a voice coming from outside the front door.
Alarmed, the Girl left the journal idly on the bag and walked closer to the door to take a look into the peephole.
But the person on the other side beat her to it.
For the first time in all her time of isolation, the front door opened.
And in walked a short girl with long, dark hair and side-swept bangs, pulling in a handful of luggage that were likely to be heavier than her.
When the stranger had managed to get everything in, she quietly closed the door and took a big breath before turning around and looking up.
The Girl had to gasp.
She was finally face to face with the shorter, fairer girl in the photos.
But there was something different about her, she observed in that short time. A sort of weariness that she couldn’t seem to comprehend right away.
Then, as if on cue, her eyes became glassy, lips quivering, as she started to move her feet. Carefully. Slowly. As if she was on thin ice.
Still amazed, the Girl followed her every movement with childlike curiosity until both of them finally stopped in front of the corner.
The Girl could only watch as she fell to her knees.
And wept.
“I’m home now, Sana,” she said through broken sobs and trembling shoulders. “I’m home.”
•••
It took a while for her to calm down. The Girl wished that she could do something to ease her pain, but all that she could do was to run her hand up and down her back as she poured out all her emotions into the cries that she let out. All the time just leaning her forehead against the table. Broken on her knees.
She felt utterly sorry and helpless for the smaller girl in front of her.
Who only seemed to get smaller and smaller as she folded in on herself.
In that time, as the other one chanted Sana’s name over and over again in her sobs, it had dawned upon The Girl that the beautiful woman named Sana in the photograph was most probably the same Sana who owned the journal.
When the pale girl finally got herself to calm down, she laid down on the carpeted floor and curled up in fetal position as she held tightly on the beautiful photograph that was pressed against her chest.
Reaching for a bean bag she can use as a makeshift pillow, she looked up and paused when she noticed something lying there. “What’s this doing here?” she asked into the seemingly empty living room. “I thought I put it away it in my shelf.”
Shoot, the Girl thought. I completely forgot about the diary.
With the remaining strength she had in her, the owner of the house reached up to take a hold of the prized possession that once belonged to the woman in the photo.
“How have you been, Sattang?” She gently asked the diary with that angelic voice of hers. Her tears started to fall once more as she turned one page after the other, but she was smiling this time.
Perhaps at the fond memories. Perhaps at the unique and lengthy way that Sana wrote down her thoughts. The Girl could only wonder.
She admired the way that the broken lover remained careful in handling the diary. She held it at a distance near enough for her to read, but far enough to keep her tears from marking the pages. As if the diary was a delicate little thing that would disintegrate to pieces at the slightest contact with her tears.
With a ghost of a smile lingering on her lips, she paused when she reached a certain page. Something that the Girl herself hadn’t reached yet.
Intrigued, she sat down next to her and, together, they read.
Dear Sattang,
I asked Dahyun out today. AHHH!!
It was soooo nerve-wracking, Sattang!!! I didn’t even know if she liked girls!!! But there I just thought, whatever, and went for it. Those were the longest minutes of my life ㅠㅠ
Okay so how did it happen?
I feel like i’m writing this down to both tell you about it and have something to gush about by myself in the future
OK, Sana, FOCUS!
Anyway, I think I’ve known it for a while now. Like maybe on our third study date? By that time I was lowkey flirting with her already and looking for ways to touch her. Anything! Like her hands, for example, as she wrote down her notes (to annoy her ㅋㅋ sorry, Dahyun-ah, if you ever read this). Her really soft cheeks, which I would know because I couldn’t stop pinching them and kissing when she’s not looking. Then she’d start to make this cute, annoyed face, which makes her eyes turn into thin lines and her whole face becomes contorted but it makes her even more squishy and ahh! Gwiyeooo aigooo~ ㅠㅠ
Wait, where was I?
OH YEAH
I ASKED HER OUT, SATTANG.
We were out in Gwangjang Market because she wanted me to try some Korean street food so we went on a budget food trip and she fed me all her favorites and it was all sooo heavenly. Both the food and her feeding me, of course ;) ;)
Then when we were on the bus going back home, she must have been so tired because her head kept swaying from side to side while she slept, so I let her sleep on my shoulder. And it was. So. Soft. I felt like bursting anytime.
I realized that I liked it. And it’d be a HUGE mistake if I didn’t do anything about it.
But Sattang ㅠㅠ I was so scared because what if she turned me down right???? We never talked about the people that we liked!!
So we got off the bus at my stop. Dahyun-ah would always drop me off at my dorm first before going back to hers. We were near the university oval by then. And then I just held her hand and asked her to stop walking.
She was looking at me with those cute eyebrows raised so high that I could have sworn she was scared of me.
So I said fine we’re doing this and I said her name and took a deep, deep breath and just blurted it out.
Then she burst out laughing, that pabo. Said I looked I was about to cry.
And I did!!!! I was so scared!!! But she kept laughing at me and poked my cheeks and told me that I was so cute.
And that, yes, she would very much love to go out with me, and then took me back home.
She never let go my hand the whole time ㅠㅠ
Love,
Sana-still-shy-but-not-so-shy-anymore
By the end of the entry, Dahyun was laughing through her tears and smiling fondly at the photograph as she ran her thumb across Sana’s face. The Girl found it extremely hilarious, too, though personally she thought that if she were in Sana’s shoes, she would probably be offended by the way that these two girls were laughing at her misery right there. Even though one of them was technically not a living girl.
Soon the tears of joy turned into tears of longing, and the smile was completely wiped off of the Dahyun’s face. Her lips were set in a straight line, eyebrows furrowed, and pain written all over her face. But at least she wasn’t hiccupping and shaking anymore, much to the Girl’s relief. Spent, the pale girl finally laid down on the carpet and let the tears fall until she finally fell into a deep slumber.
The Girl wished that she could do something about the tears that dried up on her face, but how could she when she can neither be seen nor felt?
So instead, she laid down beside her sleeping, broken form, swept away the loose strands of hair that might tickle her red, button nose, and rested her arm across her torso in hopes that it would keep her warm.
For the Girl, she thought that it felt nice to finally have someone to sleep next to after all this time of being alone in someone else’s house.
And for her, she thought that sleeping next to the small girl did the job. For the grieving woman, in all her broken state, slept soundly through the night and not once complained of the coldness of the evening.
•••
She found out the morning after that she was, as a matter of fact, the girl that Sana kept talking about in her diary.
Kim Dahyun.
Or sometimes, she was called Dubu. Dubs for short.
She learned her nickname during a phone call the next morning from a girl called Chaeyoung.
“Have you settled in yet?” asked the voice on the other end of the line.
“Yeah,” she replied with a bit too much enthusiasm. “I have everything unpacked already, too. It’s all doing well here.”
The Girl had to scoff. She thought she knew Dahyun pretty well already from how Sana wrote about her in her diary. What she was yet to mention, really, was that Dahyun was, apparently, a pretty good liar.
They were both still seated on the carpeted floor, Dahyun holding a phone to her ear with one hand, the other close to her mouth as she nervously bit on her nails.
As she nervously looked around all the luggage that remained at a standstill before them.
Each one unpacked.
“You sure?” She heard the tentativeness in the other girl’s tone. Oh, how she would have loved to have given her a hug for seeing (hearing?) through this pale girl’s lies. “I could come over to help...”
“No!” Dahyun was quick to refuse. The Girl raised an eyebrow at her. “No. I’m fine, Chaeyoung. Really. It’s all good here. Also it would be good to rest up for a bit.”
“Dubs...” She heard a sigh.
“You don’t have to worry about me, Chae,” she assured her friend with a sad smile though the other could not see it. “I’m okay.”
Another sigh. “It’s just...” She could picture the girl on the other end of the call. Pausing, maybe, to choose the right words. The Girl knew that she would have done the same. “It’s the first time you’ve been home in like six months since...”
There was a sharp exhale. She turned her eyes to see Dahyun’s ones closed tightly, lips trembling slightly, jaw clenched tightly. She took a couple of deep breaths.
That got the Girl wondering, as well. Six months? I could not have possibly been around for six months already... right?
“I know, Chaengie,” she replied as best as she can. “Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.”
“I miss her too, Dubs.” There was a bit of sniffling on the other end as well. A voice cracking. “We’re all still longing for her. We’ll do it with you.”
Dahyun was unable to contain her tears now. “Thank you, Chae,” she replied curtly. And with an impressively stable voice.
The air was silent for a while save for the sniffing coming through the receiver. Effectively drowining out Dahyun’s silent cries.
An extreme difference from the sobs that she let out the night before.
“Sorry,” Chaeyoung now laughed in spite of her weakened voice. “I should be the one comforting you. I — hey, baby, come here! Hold up a sec, Dubs.” In a second or so, Chaeyoung’s face flashed in Dahyun’s phone screen. The time she spent admiring and familiarizing the faces on the wall enabled The Girl to recognize her as one of those that appeared more frequently in the pictures. Even in the childhood photos. “Look who’s here!”
Another familiar face came into view. The Girl almost cooed when she saw the new addition to the call.
“Ah-ri!” Dahyun smiled albeit still tearily. “Hi, baby. Eomma misses you dearly.”
“Turn on your camera.”
“I’d rather not,” Dahyun replied with a small laugh.
She watched as Dahyun admired every little movement that the small dog made. Especially the way that his ears perked up at the sound of her voice. “When do you want me to bring Ah-ri back home?”
“Hmm,” she paused thoughtfully. “Tonight? Are you doing anything? I could order us some Chinese for dinner if you’d like to. You can bring Mina too.”
“Ah, shoot,” Chaeyoung said apologetically. “We can’t tonight. We’re having dinner with her parents. But maybe I can drop him off before that?”
“Sounds good,” Dahyun agreed with a soft nod. “I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah, see you. Say bye-bye to eomma, Ah-ri! Annyeong!” Chaeyoung and the dog bade goodbye as she held and waved his paw at Dahyun. “Now go and unpack before I deprive you of one more day with your adorable son.”
•••
Dahyun was a rather strange sight to behold in The Girl’s eyes. Here was a girl who, some time after dropping the call, got up and went about her house to finally unpack her luggage. To the onlooker who preferred the superficial, they would see Dahyun as a calm and collected woman who was sometimes neat and sometimes not. But to The Girl who held the other all night in her intangible embrace, it was nothing else but a façade. And it was one that Dahyun was surprisingly skilled at in upholding.
Despite it all, though, the certain sense of sadness that she hid in hindsight could be seen perpetually if one would look closely enough. It was reflected in the distant look in her eyes. In the weariness in her thin features. In the lack of strength and rigor in every move that she made.
In the way that she always stopped to linger in front of the keyboards and look up longingly at a particular girl in the family portrait hanging over it.
In the way that her bottom lip would quiver and the muscle in her temple would tense as she stared mournfully at her.
Sana. Her name is Sana, The Girl had to remind herself.
Sana whom she had never met but felt like she had a strange connection with.
Sana whose story had gotten her wondering since the first day she chanced upon the that corner.
Sana whom she had already liked based on the way her cheeriness exuded from the words that she wrote.
She had so many questions, but she thought she would let her story unfold as the time ran its course. (Or maybe when she would stop fooling herself and just go for reading the damned diary.)
The doorbell rang, snapping them both out of their reverie.
A hand, and then two, frantically wiped over Dahyun’s tearful eyes. One deep breath. And another. And finally Dahyun was passing in front of her to open the door to her visitors. Looking like nothing had just transpired mere seconds ago.
The Girl heard a bark, followed by a melodious harmony of laughter. She took a peek just in time to see Dahyun being engulfed in a tight hug by the one by the door.
“I missed you, Dahyun-unnie,” they said, voice cracking. She pulled out of the hug and held Dahyun by her arms as she stared her up and down. “Have you been eating well? You’re like a skeleton, for fuck’s sake.”
Dahyun gave out a small laugh. “I missed you too, Chaeyoung-ah. Come in. I actually brought home some gifts for you and Mina-unnie.”
The two entered the threshold with Dahyun leading the way with Ah-ri in her arms Chaeyoung following behind. The Girl immediately recognized her as the same person in the call earlier and in the photographs she somehow memorized.
Chaeyoung was shorter than either of them but carried herself with a personality as big as the entire apartment itself. Her blonde hair was cut up to her shoulders and she had pretty eyes, The Girl thought. But like Dahyun, hers carried a hint of sadness especially as they scanned the images that surrounded them.
“Make yourself at home,” Dahyun called out to her as she put Ah-ri down. “I’ll just go get the things from the room.”
“De,” she replied. The Girl followed Chaeyoung towards the end table at the corner where the beads never ceased to shine brightly in her own eyes. She watched as Chaeyoung picked up the large frame and held it tenderly with both hands, a lone tear betraying her attempt to look strong.
“Found it, Chaeng. It was — “
Chaeyoung and The Girl turned around on their heels to face Dahyun who stopped in her tracks carrying two big packages in her arms. Her eyes were transfixed on the photograph in her friend’s hold, but she was quick to stop herself from what it was that clouded her mind and instead plastered on a smile as she approached them. “Here you go. This bigger one is for you, and the other is for Mina-unnie… but I guess you could read that.”
Chaeyoung put the frame back down and accepted the gifts. “Gomawo, unnie. Thank you for these. You didn’t have to, you know.”
Dahyun only shrugged with a tight-lipped smile. “It was the least I could do for you guys taking care of Ah-ri while I was gone.”
“Ah-ri is an angel. We loved taking care of him.” Silence enveloped them until – “How are you, unnie?”
The older girl squeezed her shoulder. “I’m fine, Chaeng. If not, then I will be.”
“Mina and I spend time with her every two weeks or at least once a month if our schedules are tight,” the blonde said as the pair stared at Sana. “With Ah-ri of course. He loves playing around there.”
This time, Dahyun smiled a genuine smile. The Girl felt her heart soar a bit at the sight, for some reason. “I’m glad. Thank you, Chaeng. As well as Mina-unnie.”
A brief ding sounded in their ears. Chaeyoung took her phone out and immediately looked at the owner of the house apologetically. “I promise we’ll come visit you soon, unnie. Things are just a bit busy right now especially with Minari’s parents coming over.”
She only shook her head in understanding as she walked her friend to the front door. “Please say hi to all of them for me. Also, I’m looking forward to it. Let me know in advance so I can cook.”
Chaeyoung pulled her in for one last hug. “Come with us to visit Sana-unnie next time.”
The Girl watched Dahyun take a gulp, her hold on Chaeyoung tightening ever so subtly. “When I’m ready, Chaengie. When I’m ready.”
•••
For the rest of the night, Dahyun spent every waking moment fussing over Ah-ri. She never once let him out of her sight and would always fuss over him whenever they made eye contact. Ah-ri seemed to have missed his mother just as much, for he himself never left her side. Together they flipped through channels as they ate on the rug and as the mother spoiled her son with all the belly rubs that she could offer.
The diary that remained on the center tabletop caught Dahyun’s eye again at one point. With one hand on Ah-ri’s belly, she carefully reached for it and settled back against the couch right after. She leafed through the pages before pausing at an entry that caught her attention. The Girl watched the ghost of a smile forming on her lips, her tongue darting for a millisecond to wet them. For a moment there, she thought she saw a glint of mischief in Dahyun’s eyes.
“Wanna hear a bedtime story, Ah-ri?” The dog lifted his head up slightly to look up at his mom. “I think you remember this well, though.”
She patted her lap, which right away signaled the white Maltese to get up and settle there. The Girl, however uninvited, sat herself beside the two. Then, Dahyun began.
Sattang,
Today Dahyun invited me over to her flat for the first time.
It’s the last day of exams for us both, and instead of going out like the rest of the student body, we decided to stay in for some homemade jjapaguri and instant tteokbokki while having a movie night.
It was also the first time that I met her dog who, I swear on my parents’ and my grandparents’ lives, looked LIKE her. Her dog looked like her!!! ㅋㅋ and before you say anything, that’s not meant to be an insult, Sattang! They were both just... super white and fluffy and sooo gwiyeooo!
What I loved most about her dog — his name’s Ah-ri by the way!! — was that he seemed to like me more than his own mom. Maybe because I coddled him a lot that night? But I couldn’t help it!!! You would spoil him too if you saw him!! Oh wait but you’re me…
Dahyun looked super jealous ㅎㅎ aigo, this small baby~~
Anyway, the night didn’t end there, Sattang.
So we watched this movie called The Handmaiden, which her roommate, Chaeyoungie, (that little bastard, as Dahyun would call her after) lent to us. And if you’re familiar with the movie, I think you already know where this is going.
But we... WE had no clue!
When we got to ~that~ part in the bathtub, Dahyunnie and I were so awkward that we couldn’t look at anywhere else but the screen. It seems funny now but I was DYING ㅠㅠ And Dahyunnie, bless her soul, noticed my discomfort so she paused the movie before it could go any further.
We stayed there not making eye contact with each other and in complete silence until I decided to break the ice. But at the same time, she had something to say! So we both took turns egging each other to go first until we were just laughing and the next thing I knew, her hands were on my waist, and mine were around shoulders, and we were lying down with her on top of me and we were kissing!!!!! For the first time!!!!!
And it wasn’t a simple peck, Sattang!!!!!!!!
Thank you, The Handmaiden.
But no thank you, Ah-ri. ㅠㅠ
We kinda fell down from her couch from all of ~that~ and Ah-ri thought I was attacking his mom or that his mom was attacking me. But my poor child had no clue that it was the good kind of attacking.
Ah-ri started barking. LOUD. And that got us to break away from each other. Dahyun kept apologizing to me from the minute Ah-ri started barking up to the front porch of my own dorm when she walked me back. It was hilarious but also very sexy, so I thought, why not give her a goodnight kiss before she left?
And that I did, Sattang. Are you proud of me? ;)
And when I closed the door behind me, I had this huge smile that I couldn’t erase especially when she called me up to say goodnight.
I think Mi-tan caught me smiling myself to sleep.
What do you call the butterflies you get in your stomach?
Sana-suddenly-not-shy-at-all?!?!
Dahyun closed the book chuckling then glared at the seemingly innocent-looking dog who was still looking at her curiously and cutely. Dahyun had to roll her eyes and playfully glare at him. “You were a bad dog that night, weren’t you, Ah-ri?”
It was The Girl’s turn now to roll her eyes.
The three of them went on to read more of Sana’s entries, which were mostly, to Dahyun’s delightful surprise, were mostly about her and them. They laughed, they teared up, and at the end of the night, the young girl found herself choking up once again, but at least now she wasn’t alone.
She never was, though, The Girl thought. But she doesn’t know that.
Dahyun slept on the floor again that night, her head resting comfortably on the bean bag, her arm draped across the framed photograph and diary. Like they were her most prized possessions. But maybe they were.
The Girl, deciding to let the two rest, got up to turn the lights off and lower the volume.
But —
She stopped midway when she felt a pair of eyes boring holes into her back.
Strange. She turned around to face the mother-son pair.
And in the dark of the room illuminated only by the glow coming from the television screen, she met the very first pair of eyes that actually looked directly at her for the first time since she woke up. Like they were actually seeing her.
He blinked once, then twice.
The Girl could only blink back.
It was Ah-ri.