Chapter Text
James is scrolling down his Instagram, postponing a design he should be working on – the client asked for cool tones, but he knows that what he is doing would look so much better in pink and orange, and it will just be a waste of a hell of an idea if he ends up doing it with blues, and this is one of the many reasons he much prefers to tattoo his flashes, thank you very much.
He looks up when he hears the door opening, the little bell tinkling, a bag dropping on the floor, and takes in a sharp breath, mouth open in surprise before quickly taking the shape of a shit-eating grin.
“We haven’t vacuumed in months, I wouldn’t drop my designer bag on the floor”
“No need to worry, it’s only my Louie” Sirius lifts his sunglasses and grins back.
James all but throws himself off his chair and runs to the door, lean arms wrapping around his neck and clutching his shoulders tight.
“You smell expensive” he says against Sirius’ ear, being granted the laugher he has so dearly missed in return, “How long are you staying?”
“Not long” Sirius sighs and steps back, hand still on his shoulder “I’ve got a seminar tomorrow by lunch, probably a lifetime long, and flight back at night. I’ve tried to stretch it, I did, but the end of the semester is always crazy, have to have a bunch of shit done by Monday”
James nods, “Glad you manage to squeeze in a little visit. Sleeping over?”
“Was counting on it - got the whole night to make sweet love to you” Sirius grabs his face and squeezes “You handsome motherfucker. How are you?”
James grins at him through squished cheeks, “Good. Business’s excellent, made rent this month without having to ask mom for help. She misses you, oh, you have no idea how much”
“It’s so reciprocal. Haven’t had a satisfactory head-scratch in months” Sirius shrugs off his coat “She’s alright? How about your dad?”
“Both great. Thrilled with Kyoto, Nala gets awfully jealous”
“I haven’t even met her yet, but I love her already. Evans?”
James runs a hand through his hair “Heard she got a new thing. An acquaintance to Marls’ ex”
“Ex?” Sirius asks James nods, “Thank God. You haven’t been talking, then?”
James puffs out, “Not really. We totally eye-fucked during Kingsley’s dinner party, had quite an erotic altercation, but she left before anything else happened. Next thing I know”
“Oh, buddy. That’s what, four months and a half since you last fucked?”
He scowls, “She drunk-texted a month or so ago, so”
“Ha. It’s on, then”
“You’re insufferable. What about shaved-hair-thing?”
“Who?”
“Instastory, circa October”
“October was a lifetime ago, Jim”
“He was handsome. For your standards”
Sirius parrots him, mockingly.
“Check your archives. Close friends”
Sirius does, and with their joint efforts, they manage to find it.
“Oh – oh, God, he wanted to fuck to The Weeknd. I’m not kidding. That’s Matthias, year above, and he wanted to fuck to the Weeknd”
James snorts, and manages to say “He wanted, and he did” before erupting in a fit of laughter.
Sirius shakes his head, “No comment. About bad decisions made while ridiculously high”
He pushes the collar of his shirt down, and James stares at the juncture of his shoulder and chest in astonishment, laughter suspended in his mouth.
“Jesus fuck” he runs his hand through his hair, and gets closer “I see arms, maybe legs?”
“Yup. The head is a world. It’s me”
“Of course”
Sirius sighs, “We were supposed to micro-dose on acid to focus on our assignment. Turns out that neither me nor my friends now what should a micro-dose look like, and Marie – she’s brilliant, bless her heart – had this epiphany, and next thing I know she was Gui’s stick and poke kit in her hand and I’m agreeing, enthusiastically agreeing, to this”
“But, like, she showed you the design first? Or was it improv?”
“Well, she must have shown me something, but what do I know. She’s a stupendous artist, I had faith in her. Kind of tried to embrace it for a week, but”
“Yeah. Want me to fix it up?”
“Do you have time?”
James nods, gets his drawing tablet, “A late afternoon appointment, but we’re good”
“Do not cover it completely, oui? I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Just, you know- make it pretty”
“Sure. Show me what you’ve been listening to”
With Sirius’ current favourite tunes in his ears, he gets to work, considerably more inspired than earlier. Pinks and oranges it was, yellows and light blues smeared around, a fine dark blue line, the words ‘Mendings, Major and Minor’ in clumsy, slender black.
Sirius watched him quietly, in awe, as he always did, back when it was notebooks and sharpies in James’ hands, his body offered as a canvas as soon as James expressed the interest in tattoo art, with felt-tipped pens and gouaches and paintbrushes and finally a needle at the tender age of seventeen, both of them teary-eyed and with a whole world to conquer.
“Fucking gorgeous, yes” Sirius says when he’s finished.
Size and placement are a bit trickier, Sirius’ arm and chest and neck being already inked, and it takes them a while to get it right. Then it’s the whirring sound of the tattoo gun, and finally excited laughter and arguing if the piece Sirius got in Amsterdam is the best one he has and then hot gossip from Paris art uni and finally going through uncanny DMs. When James gets his phone to show Sirius’ the most bizarre dialogue he ever partook in, his screen shows 19:14, and two missed calls.
“Oh my, fuck, fuck, my appointment” he gets up and slides in his socks to the entrance, “I’m so fucking sorry”
Remus Lupin looks up from where he is sitting on the couch, taking an earbud out and smiling, “Hello. All good?”
“I’m so, so fucking sorry, Lupin. Lost track of time”
“It’s fine. Can we still-”
“Sure, sure, of course. Follow through” he leads the way to his studio, finding a still-shirtless, still sat on the floor Sirius tying up his boots “Didn’t even print it yet. I’m sorry. You can blame this nuisance”
“He’s in love with me” Sirius retorts, and James laughs before running to the stencil printer, outside the room.
When he’s back, Sirius is up on his feet, shirt on his hands as he shows Remus his new piece.
“Very cool” Remus says to James, who grins at him.
“I like it a lot as well” James says, showing Remus two different size options for his own.
“Yes, very cool” Sirius parrots, pointedly, making Remus flinch sightly.
James tries a subtle glare, and then says “He’s the one with the ribs tattoo”
Sirius loses the attitude immediately, “You’re joking”
“He made a tantrum” James explains to a confused-looking Remus, “called me, like, who-”
“Fuck off” Sirius says harshly, before turning to Remus to sugar-coat it “I thought it was his best work to date. Got a bit jealous, I admit”
Remus smiles, without teeth. James waits for him to show Sirius, who does too, and when he doesn’t, James kicks Sirius out before he explicitly asks.
“You’re good to go? Glass of water, or anything else?”
“I’m fine, thank you. Really excited”
“Me too” James smiles, gets his gear ready “It worked really well, your idea”
“Thank you. For drawing it, I mean. I know you prefer to do your own”
“Ah, come off it, I just said it was a good concept”
“Well, thank you” he smiles, and proceeds to study James’ every move.
It is the third piece James does on him, the smaller one yet, a bunch of colorful, regular circles on his wrist. Apart from the two James did, one on his ribs and other on his thigh, he only has another one, in the middle of his chest, that he already had the first time he came in, and it is awfully flattering to James, his evident preference.
He looks delighted when it’s done, shinning eyes, a torrent of thank-yous, turning his wrist to see it from every angle, a sincere smile on.
“Thank you, it’s lovely, thank you”
“Do you reckon it’s very cool?” James asks playfully, and Remus’ enchanted expression turns quickly into a grimace, making James laugh, “Oh my, Lupin, I’m only kidding”
“No, I- I know, it was a bit stupid. Very cool sounds dead cringy. Should’ve just said it was gorgeous, or stunning, or literally anything else”
“It’s- it’s nothing, really” James reassures as he stores the money, regretting having made the joke “Didn’t mean to make fun of you. Neither did Sirius”
Remus looks a bit uncomfortable as he nods, and James takes a picture to post, insisting on the aftercare discourse Remus already knows.
“Stay a bit, let me just tidy everything” he asks when Remus looks like he’s ready to go “we’re probably going to grab something to eat, you’re welcome to join”
“Oh, hum” Remus exhales, caught off guard “thank you, but I wouldn’t want to intrude”
“Not an intrusion, mate. And it’s G’s, on a Friday, it’s hardly going to be just be the two of us”
Remus chews on this thumb, “Well, alright”
Sirius is on his best behavior: asks if Remus is tagging along unprovoked, tells him the tattoo is the cutest, says he was been wanting to ink his hands forever, but it always feels like too big of a commitment because he works with them, stares at them all the time.
Remus nods, sympathetic, but doesn’t engage, so James picks it up and they discuss both brilliant and terrible things they’ve seen tatted on hands, disagreeing on which category the words ‘DROP DEAD GORGEOUS’ written on the fingers fall. Remus favors James’ side.
“I knew a girl” Remus says when they sit down, “she played the cello, and had really fine, minimal lines tatted on her fingers, left hand, which is the fingering hand, and when she lined them up a certain way-”
“Oh” Sirius marvels “Brilliant”
Remus smiles, with teeth, and Sirius smiles back. He proceeds to show him James’ earlier work on his arms, says it’s a pity the really first one is on his leg because it’s priceless, and Remus’ eyes follow avidly, chin propped up in his hand.
“This was Evans’, the only work of hers this earth has been blessed with” he says, pointing at the funny kitten with a cigarette in one hand and the trans pride flag in the other, and then points at James “That would be the girlfriend”
James knows what information is being handed out, watches Remus take it with bright eyes and a swift, long sip of his beer.
“Kind of on a break right now, though” he says as he licks grease of his finger and Sirius barks out a laugh.
Remus asks him a few questions – for how long has he been tattooing, how’s Moody, how’s his creative process, what’s the most challenging part – but smiles the brightest when it is Sirius who talks.
James is in the middle of explaining how Moody made him cry actual tears the first time he did a piece on him when he is interrupted by a sharp laugh.
“Sirius Black!” Marlene cries out, arms around his neck the next second, Sirius holding onto her wrists, grinning. Lily Evans looks down on them, waterline painted black and eyes squeezed, a new nose piercing, the corner of her lips, impossibly pink and soft, turned downwards as she bites down a smile.
“Lousy company you’re keeping, Remus” she enunciates, voice warm and achingly familiar, eyes darting between him and James.
James gapes, glasses slipping down his nose, “You two know each other?”
“College. We were on the same class” Remus says, subdued, barely audible over Sirius and Marlene’s excited screeching.
“Oh, so you’re smart” he says, stupidly, as Lily Evans sits next to him, leaning so she can listen to Remus. It feels as if everything fades out and the only thing that’s real is her weight against him, heavy and warm.
“Uh, dropped out, actually” Remus chews on the inside of his cheek, glances at Sirius and Marlene, who are staring back at him, and focuses on the remains of his chips.
“I thought you were coming back this year” Lily says, smiling, teeth sharp and tongue wetting her lips. James sees it in slow motion.
“Hm, I- well, you know. Maybe next year”
Lily nods, highlighter on her cheek bones shining, and meets James’ eyes for half a second “So, what have you been up to?”
Remus shrugs, “Oh, this and that. Nothing much, truly”
“You’re working at that second-hand store, right? Alice told me-”
“Uh, no. Not anymore” he scratches his neck “Overstaffed, you know”
Lily runs a hand through her hair, straightened and smelling like strawberries, and drops it inches away from James’, and nods sympathetically. Then, turns to Sirius, “What’s up, gorgeous? How are Parisian boys?”
It sounds awful even to Sirius, who smiles coyly and talks about his classes and current projects. Lily laughs, and makes fun of half the things he says, and James fights the urge to touch her thigh.
It seems like she gets impossibly closer with every beer. She has been sipping from his last couple ones, the taste of her lip-gloss precisely where he puts his mouth. By the time Alice gets there, James has his arm propped up on the back of the chair and is playing with a strand of red hair as Sirius talks.
“Hello” she greets, then looks at Remus, “How are you? Haven’t seen you in ages”
“I’m fine” he says, and hearing his voice James can’t recall the last time he spoke, “You?”
“A shit ton of work to do” Alice reaches for a water and swallows a pill “You know how it goes”
“Aren’t you done for the day?” Lily asks, and Alice shakes her head.
“Fucking behind on that essay due Monday. I’m here for a drink, a drink only, and when it hits, I’ll be hydrated and sat on my favourite spot at the library”
“Can’t you go tomorrow?”
“Can I get a place in the week before exams if I get there after 6 a.m? I’d rather do an all-nighter”
“What’s that?” James asks.
Alice snorts, and then “Really? Damn, alright, Mr. Self Employed. Adderall”
“Oh, missing her” Sirius sighs.
“Do you want me to fix you up?”
“I’m on vacation, darling, thank you”
“Isn’t that, like, medication-”
“Everyone takes it”
“Not everyone-” Lily chimes in.
“Oh, God, no” Alice groans “After I leave, Evans, please”
“-Some people know it is unethical to be on it if you don’t have a prescription”
“Is it even safe?” James asks.
Sirius snorts, “Safe? Like alcohol, safe like caffeine?”
“I can’t believe you’re one of those”
“Those what, Evans?”
“Those who equate medication for ADD, who was an immediate and brutal effect in your performance, to an iced coffee, or a joint”
“It’s a drug, use it if when you please, for what you please” Sirius says and Alice rejoices, chanting out an amused ‘Amen’.
“Can we- can we not make an argument out of this when you’re all so ill-informed?” Marlene asks.
“It’s just fucking unfair for you to be on it without needing to, while set against other people, gives you a hell of an advantage. Bryce plays football-”
“Who?”
“A friend”
“God, I can’t believe you just namedropped the guy you’re fucking in the middle of this conversation” Sirius laughs.
“Excuse me?” Lily raises her voice “I don’t like- no, I don’t allow this entitlement you think you have over-”
“Jesus Christ, take it you’re both obsessed with being the absolute best in your circle? Is it hot that he can’t handle another player on a bit of Addy?” Sirius laughs sharply, Alice joining him, and James attempts a glare.
“Come on, let’s – you have to admit that it’s a bit alarming to need a pill to do schoolwork”
“James, do shut-” Marlene says.
“Says the rich guy who finished high school because he’s rich and won’t need a degree because he’s rich” Alice interrupts her, and Sirius snorts.
“I don’t – Jim, love, I don’t need it. Like I don’t need alcohol to decompress, or molly to have a good time. It just helps. I don’t see no harm – as long as you’re not addicted”
“But you all are, aren’t you? Engage on a total of 0 activities to increase your attention span, then Big Pharma gives you a magic pill-”
“Oh, yes, the fem-rad speech”
“Jesus, Sirius, fuck off, will you? Are you aware of how much money this makes? You’ve doctors being paid to prescribe it to anyone who shows the slightest symptoms, preying on kids who struggle to be still and quiet and-”
Remus gets up and leaves.
“-the medication fucks them up”
“Fuck, I’m clearly against giving them to kids-”
“Oof, a bit rude” Alice says, “I should get going, too”
“Those are not separated issues, the general intake-” Lily trails off, makes eye contact with Marlene “What?”
Marlene glares at her, “Are you fucking stupid?”
She looks at Remus’ empty spot, subdued “I- I didn’t say anything”
Marlene trembles with frustration, and James can feel worry sweeping in, slowly but surely.
“Oh? Didn’t say anything that could possibly be triggering-”
“Marls”
“-to a guy who fucking OD’d-”
“What?” Sirius asks.
“-alone, in his dorm, so it’s safe to say on purpose-”
“Those are just rumors!”
“Jesus, Lily, fuck you! And you” she turns to Alice, “what the fuck was up with ‘you know how it goes’? Do you think? Do you have anything resembling a thought inside that brain?”
James feels dizzy, awfully guilty too.
“Couldn’t you just- taken it after you fucked off out of here? And couldn’t you-” she turns to Lily, again “couldn’t you just say to James, oh, hey, I’ve been having really boring hetero sex with this guy and I want to have really boring hetero sex with you, cut the shit without having to engage on a purposeless argument for him to agree with you and, therefore, have an excuse?”
“I- Jesus, Marlene, not my fault the guy is a bit unscrewed. I just took a pill. And I’m out of here”
As Alice leaves, she turns to Sirius too, who says, frightened in the face of a pissed-off Marlene, “I didn’t know”
“Well, of course, you couldn’t. But now, did you, or did you not, flirt with him before we got here?”
Sirius shots him a confused look, “I- McKinnon, what”
She groans, takes a deep breath “Don’t be daft. He was all- batting eyelashes at you, almost drooling, the whole shebang. It couldn’t be that ugly shirt alone”
“I literally met him a couple hours ago”
“That doesn’t answer my question”
“I don’t know, I guess so. A bit, nothing too-”
“Then why avoid his eyes when you’re surrounded by your friends? It- I can’t wrap my head around it, how you struggle to be affectionate, hell, not even affectionate, just decent-”
“I should- ought to you know if he’s still outside” James finds his voice, and only Lily hears, but she nods at him and he grabs his coat and leaves.
“-towards someone you might be attracted to. Like, we know you are gay, you-”
“You are absolutely reaching, McKinnon. I wasn’t holding back, and it’s not like it is my job-”
Outside is strikingly cold, and James finds Remus leaning against a wall, cigarette lit in his mouth. He gets closer, sees shaky breaths and shaky fingers and struggles to find what to say.
Remus turns before he can get anything out, and his eyes meet the floor again.
“I’m sorry”
“No, I- Lupin, no, I’m sorry. Guess the rumors are true and I get a bit more stupid when with Evans” he shrugs, points at Remus’ packet “Spare me one?”
Remus’ mouth tightens as if he’s trying not to cry and he shows James an empty packet, “I’m sorry”.
He extends him his own, half smoked, and James declines with a smile.
“Should’ve- they are all new- I mean, you knew the girls from college, but it was a new environment” James clumsily apologizes, “Should’ve engaged you more, I’m sorry”
“Don’t- I mean, you’re not supposed” Remus lets out half a sob and gives up on pursuing the rest of the sentence. James puts an idiotic hand on his arm, hoping to give him some reassurance, and waits silently for him to finish his cigarette.
“Want to go back inside? It’ll be-”
“I called an Uber”
“Oh. Well, you can cancel it”
“I-” Remus says and then inhales, and James nods.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll wait with you”
Remus mirrors his nodding, and then looks down again, humming something beneath his breath.
“Lupin?”
“Hm?” he asks, without looking up.
“Are you- well, would you want to work with me?”
“What?”
“I mean- you’re interested. I can tell you have good ideas. If you wanted, we could arrange that”
“What? Why?”
James can’t articulate a good reasoning – wanting a mate to have lunch with, guilt and pity, a good hunch, desperation to alleviate the tension – but after saying it out loud, it does seem like a great idea, very on-brand.
“Well, you’ve got the time, don’t you? I could use the company”
“Don’t- don’t take the piss out of me”
“Am not”
Remus sways on his feet, chews on his thumb.
“I’m- unexperienced. On the verge of crying because I can’t hold my end of a conversation with your friends- who seem nice. It’s- it’s unreasonable, you know that”
James smiles, “They’re not that nice”
A car arrives and Remus raises his arm, throws back a confused, pained, somewhat grateful look at James.
“Think about it. I’ll text you!”
a few months later…
James slides on the wheels of his chair to capture Remus in his selfie. He looks up from the tattoo gun he is cleaning, holds up two dirty fingers in a peace sign, and then turns back to work.
“What’s that for?” he asks as he throws the tissue in the trash can and gets a clean one.
“Sirius” James says, watches Remus’ hands increase in speed as he opens up the tissue, all the more when he tells him “He’s coming to London for my birthday”
“When?”
“On the 27th, next-”
“I- I know your birthday, Potter. I meant, when is he coming”
James drags a suggestive hm, before telling him he’s getting there in a couple hours. Remus’ hands are lightspeed, and his screen lights up with a notification.
siriusb14ck: coworker lookin gooood
“Lupin. Want to do a piece on him?”
Remus’ hands stop so fast it’s comical.
James is getting to know Remus. He knows his hands are in permanent motion all the time, doodling, tapping against surfaces, worrying his sleeves, being chewed on, but surprisingly steady when holding a tattoo gun.
He knows his favourite foods from brunches before work and Friday dinners after therapy, knows that he falls asleep twenty minutes into any movie but can watch seven episodes of Friends in a row from nights spent together. Knows that he is quite a morning person, and knows when to send him back home, if he comes in bleary-eyed, mouth twitching – actually, there’s progress there: two times now has Remus texted him that he was feeling down, saving himself the train ride.
James knows that he used to play the cello and knows why he stopped. Knows first concert, first time getting drunk, first book he fell in love with. Knows how to work with him, how to teach him what he needs to know and how to help him channel ideas that are all over the place.
He figures he can read frozen hands for what they are.
“It, it is not my decision”
“Yeah, but he will want one for sure, especially when it’s still such an exclusive” James raises his eyebrows in amusement, and Remus squints his eyes at him playfully “Do you feel ready?”
“If he wants, I mean, yes, sure. I would love to”
James smiles at him, watches Remus duck his head before allowing himself to smile, and shoots Sirius a message.
jamespo77er: want him 2 ink u?
The reply comes immediately.
siriusb14ck: yeahhh
“When you’d rather do it? Tomorrow and the day after I’m packed, maybe Friday if you’d rather have assistance?”
“Maybe today, between your appointments? Only if he really wants to and is free, of course, but, you know, since he would be already here, and I’m” he waves his hands to indicate nervousness.
James nods sympathetically and starts typing again.
jamespo77er: as soon as u get here works?
siriusb14ck: lmao
siriusb14ck: sure
“Well, copy out your best doodles, my man”
Remus throws his head back, a contented sigh and then a gentle smile, as his eyes meet James’. Ear buds in, he does as he’s told.
That’s how James leaves him when his client arrives, and that’s how he is two hours and a half later, when the door opens again.
Before anyone can say anything, Taylor Swift’s “22” starts playing. Sirius, phone in hand, grins insanely.
“Oh my God, fuck off” James says, barely suppressing a laugh, and gets up to meet Sirius halfway.
“We are going to listen to this non-stop the next couple days, Jimmy. My quality of life decreased significantly after not being able to be feeling twenty-two anymore, I want you to truly enjoy it while you can” he says earnestly, and then, face nestled in James’ neck, turns to Remus “Hello. Are you spiritually aligned with this anthem, as of now?”
Remus blinks and hums, focusing, and replies a couple beats too late, “Also turned twenty-three a week or so ago, I’m afraid”
Sirius’ jaw drops in faux shock, and he steps away from James just enough for his furrowed, indignant eyebrows to be registered.
“We don’t have any good pictures, and he didn’t deem our spontaneous selfies nor the candid picture I took worthy of insta love” he explains, and Sirius tightens his lips and nods as if enlightened, albeit disappointed.
“Late birthday wishes, then” he gets off his coat and then turns to Remus, who tilts his head in appreciation and diverts his eyes “Did you have a good time?”
“Yes” he says, hands shuffling the stencils he had just meticulously done “We went out and it was really fun”
“He got plastered and gave it fucking everything at karaoke” James supplies, making Remus flip him off and Sirius laugh with feeling.
“You’re not even embarrassed” Sirius smiles cheekily as he leans in the counter, elbow almost touching Remus’ drawings, “You must be good”
Remus retreats his hands.
“He is” James says, “cocky about it, too. Had the gall to say I couldn’t carry a tune”
Sirius raises an amused eyebrow, “Yeah? That’s ruthless, Remus”
“Well, he can’t” he explains, and smiles as Sirius barks out a laugh.
“I’m sorry, I may not have your vocal range-”
“Potter, we’re talking about rhythm here. Which you clearly lack as well” he counterarguments, and when James opens his mouth and stutters in protest, Remus turns to a grinning Sirius, “We had this same exact disagreement, and got around to a couple of well-known songs to see if he could clap along-”
“That had nothing to do-”
“That’s- oh my, that’s literally the most efficient way to tell you’re tone deaf” he says and erupts in laughter, the genuine one with breath hitches and shaking shoulders, and Sirius laughs along, and James can’t help but join them.
“Alright, then, when you’re done taking the piss, your Majesty, we’ve got work to do”
Remus catches his breath and composes himself quickly, voice hoarse but gentle, “Yes, of course. Haven’t changed your mind?”
Sirius shakes his head, “The one you did on James is gorgeous”
Remus smiles, straightens his stencils, “So, these ones are the ones I’m the happiest with, I guess- got all of them ready in case you want to try out first, but if you don’t like neither you could look through my notebook and see if something catches your eye-”
“Are those finger tats?” Sirius asks, pointing at very evident finger tats, drawn within the outline of Remus’ own fingers.
“Hum, yeah. Yes, they are. Any-”
“Think I’ve made my mind up. I want those”
“Yeah? If you want to change anything, maybe think about it overnight-”
“I mean, I definitely want those- only if you’d rather do it tomorrow-”
Remus looks at James, asking for direction.
“I say do it now. We’re all here, ready, and he won’t change his mind. It’s a beautiful piece” he reassures.
That’s all it takes, and Remus smiles and leads the way to the studio.
He starts very professionally – every movement careful and precise, gently shaving and cleaning Sirius’ fingers and applying the stencil immaculately, James finding no need to intervene or correct anything.
When the design is laid out on Sirius’ fingers, Remus insists he sits and stares at it for ten minutes. James says it is rotten business, but Sirius complies and reassures him he adores it, and can’t wait to see it with color.
Remus has no issues with the tattoo gun. James helps with the changing of color for it to keep going smoothly, and it does. He nails it in the end – it is a simple drawing, but it works wonderfully.
Sirius sings its praises, and scolds James when they’re discussing prices and he finds out he did not pay Remus. “I’ve taught him how to do it, for free!” he argues, but Sirius does not accept it and insists on paying Remus 100 bucks, to make up for the previous exploitation.
It leads to an awfully awkward “No, there’s no need to” vs “No, I insist”, which ultimately ends when Sirius drops two £50 notes on the counter and runs to grab his coat.
“Who even walks around with over one-hundred cash?” James half sighs, half laughs as he stores it in the register.
“Are you done for the day?” Sirius asks.
James lifts his head to tell him that no, he is not, he has one appointment left but it should be over before nine, to find out the question wasn’t directed at him. He raises his eyebrows, stares at the two of them but isn’t lucky enough to catch any of their gazes.
“Ah, should stick around for the next appointment”
As stated before, James is starting to master the art of understanding Remus Lupin – though one could argue that it was so evident that he wanted to fuck off out of there and follow Sirius wherever, even the tattoo gun would’ve told him to go.
“I believe I will be able to manage this one on my own, Lupin”
“If you say so” he says, the cheek, the style, and starts tidying up his things.
James meets Sirius’ eyes, and is met with an amused shrug.
“Take him to the vegan brownies”
“Oh, yeah, nice” Remus agrees, on his way to a door that’s open for him.
“They’re so good”
“So good”
“And bring dinner home!”
“You’ve got it!”
The door closes with a thud and James waits until he’s out of ear shot to let out a disbelieving laugh.
After a tiring appointment and a sweltering subway ride, James gets home to a red-faced Remus, leaning on the doorway with dinner on his arms, and a jumping Sirius, wearing both of their coats.
Remus sees him first and holds his hand up in greeting. Sirius turns around swiftly,
“Could’ve given us the fucking keys, wanker”
James smiles as he throws an arm around Sirius, searching for them with his free hand, “Got used to French weather, did you?”
Teeth clattering, he flips him off, and takes the keys from James as soon as they emerge from his bag, opening the door in a hassle and rushing inside.
“Did you really tattoo someone’s ass-cheek?” Sirius asks as soon as the door closes behind Remus, who laughs heartily.
“It was more of a tramp-stamp”
“It was not” Remus argues as he starts his way up the stairs.
“Like, I tried to pull it as far up as I could-”
“Oh my God, no” Sirius says with his last breath, before folding in on himself with laughter.
“He did not believe in me”
“It’s not- it didn’t turn out half-bad”
Remus snorts, “Sure, it was an immaculate shaving sesh”
James shoves a giggling Sirius so he can pick up his pace, “Fuck off, rad piece in the end. Keep fucking with me and I will pull a couple strings and get an ass for you to ink”
Sirius pulls James’ arm so he will look at him and mouths ‘Me’. James nods vehemently.
“Hoping it’s Moody’s”
“Fuck, no way I can’t compete with that” Sirius mutters and James laughs as he agrees. Remus turns back to look at them.
“You were the funniest part of the whole ordeal, truth be told” he states, and then turns to Sirius “you should’ve seen him, so genuinely embarrassed-”
“It was fucking bizarre” he says as he reaches the door, and his eyes stay on Sirius’ as they get to him and he opens the door.
Sirius feigns struggle to get out of Remus’ coat, smiling when he helps him out of it and granting him the sweetest ‘thank you’, before announcing he is off to a very careful shower.
James follows Remus to the kitchen and gets beers for both of them. Remus sits on the counter and avoids eye contact, and James instructs himself to just let it be, but his resolve breaks in less than a minute.
“So, did you have a good time?”
Remus nods, and when James’ gaze starts to burn, he adds “A bit weird”
“But good-weird?”
“Not bad weird” Remus shrugs, and fidgets with his fingers “Do you want to roll one up?”
James nods and gets to it. He’s lighting it when Remus says,
“I don’t think I said enough, I suppose”
“How do you mean?”
“It’s just – he had all this stories, like, fun, amazing stories”
James waits for him to get anywhere, and then says “A ass tattoo is a fun and amazing story”
Remus snorts, “I guess”
James has a great range of compliments and reassurances to prove to Remus he is great to hang out with, but Sirius’ footsteps down the hallway tell him he has to keep it short and sweet.
“If you had fun, he had too, Lupin”
Remus nods as he exhales smoke and keeps his eyes down as Sirius enters the kitchen.
“Look at this gorgeous piece I just got” he says, hands held out in front of Remus, fishing a shy smile and the joint out of him.
They smoke it while discussing the current football season, which Sirius still follows religiously, even from France, and Remus has gotten into, even if a little forcefully.
“I miss it so fucking much” Sirius says after he finally eats his first spoonful, hang mid-air for the entire duration of his lecture on Manchester’s performance the previous Tuesday.
“I can gather the team around this weekend, we do it sometimes”
Sirius nods as he smiles and stuffs another spoon into his full mouth.
“You used to play together?”
Sirius nods, and James says, “He was the star of the team”, being granted a head tilt of agreement.
“I bet” Remus smiles.
“I have got a shitload of pictures in my laptop, let me go get it”
When James returns they’ve moved to the couch; he sits on the other side of Remus and places the laptop on his knees. The folder from 2016 makes them laugh and sigh with nostalgia and dig years old gossip for Remus to revel in.
“You know what this is?” James asks before pressing play on a video.
“Fuck” Sirius laughs “I think I do”
“You just pay attention Lupin, this is insane”
The video is being recorded from the benches and focuses on number 14 receiving the ball and hoodwinking about 5 of the opponent players before scoring a clean goal. The crowd goes batshit, and from behind you can hear a woman screaming ‘That’s my baby’.
Sirius is hugging his knees and grinning. James plays it again.
“That was crazy” Remus sighs, face turned to Sirius but James can hear a smile, “Ever thought of going pro?”
Sirius thanks hangs in his mouth when the question registers. His smile falters, “Trans men don’t really get drafted”
“Oh, I’m- I’m sorry”
“You’re sorry?”
“I- that’s really shitty, that’s what I meant”
“It’s whatever” Sirius shrugs.
“Don’t be fucking rude” James bites back, goes with the lightest tone he can manage.
“I mean- it’s a bit obvious, no?” he sighs, and when Remus opens his mouth to apologize, “Don’t apologize. Just don’t- Jesus, yeah, I guess it still upsets me. But it is whatever, not even in a dismissive way, I like photography just fine, I excel at it, and, you know, everyone is queer, which gives me a space and a freedom to be I would’ve never gotten in sports. So”
Silence dawns for a minute.
“That’s great. It really is. Still, I’m sorry. Both for my thoughtlessness and, well, bigotry in general”
“That’s alright” Sirius nods, and then breaks into a smile, “sorry for transphobia”
“Must be an inconvenience sometimes” James chimes in, but Sirius rolls his eyes.
“Come on Jim, get your own jokes with Remus”
“Him apologizing for cis-normativity is just yours”
“Yes” Sirius enunciates and smiles over at him before sliding on to the next photograph, a picture of him with James under his arm, both of them dripping sweat and biting down on their gold medals.
“Such babies. Can your Air drop it to me?”
Next on is a video of the boys’ locker room, variations of ‘Fuck yes, Black’ coming from every direction, and then a couple seconds of Sirius, grinning and out of breath, getting the best part of his face kissed.
“You see him around?” Sirius asks as he curates his Instagram story.
“Xavier?”
“Hum-hum”
“Not really. His socials are so fucking cryptic, though”
“Tell me about it. What do you mean you don’t broadcast your entire life on your Close Friends?”
Remus shifts slightly, “That’s the guy in the video?”
“Yeah” Sirius nods, eyes still on his phone as he gets the colors of the caption right, “Team captain. I was in love with him”
James struggles to repress a giggle. Sirius gives in, and then gives Remus an explanation.
“It’s really fucking weird to say it like that, you know? Because it was an entire thing back then, that was very much unrequited and I tried very hard to hide, and then when I moved abroad it was Buried Business, and even saying it now, completely aware that it was true and it won’t leave this room, still feels so weirdly clandestine?”
“I asked him once and he denied” James supplies.
“Oh, but you knew. I knew you knew. You couldn’t stand him”
“I mean, come on” James gestures to the video on his laptop screen “It’s asshole-ish to act like that with someone who feels a way you don’t. And he did it all the time”
“He knew?” Remus asks Sirius.
“Yeah, we discussed it. In the history’s most miserable and awkward text string” he scratched his knee “But I disagree. Like, rejection stung, of course, but losing the connection and the intimacy we had would’ve hurt more. I’m grateful Xavi and I managed to keep a good friendship, you know, in spite of it”
James gives him a look which reads ‘it made you terribly miserable’ but knows better than to argue, so he clutches his chest and gives them a theatrical “You sound so grown”.
“Why thank you” Sirius replies with the same faux-emotion, and slides to the next photo.
After the following three, and they get to a selfie of James and Lily, James kissing her cheek and Lily puckering her lips and holding out a peace sign. Remus whoops in delight.
“That’s Evans? She looks astonishingly different, oh my-”
“I do too, fuck off!”
“Hardly. I- you really were high school sweethearts. I thought you just had a crush and called it-”
“Take a hike, Lupin” James laughs, and then gestures between the both of them “I’ll have you know that Sirius is my relationship’s biggest fan. Which is funny, considering that Lily would choose you over him like, any day”
Sirius’ mouth drops and he gapes with betrayal. Remus turns to him and kindly reassures, “She probably wouldn’t. Honestly, it feels like she is making fun of me whenever we talk”
“No, that’s just how she is” Sirius drops his head and hides his face in his hands “I can actually see you two getting along. I’m doomed”
“They do, they bond over house décor shows and obscure books and overpriced coffee”
Sirius shakes his head in disappointment, and uncovers his face to look at Remus, studies him for a bit before asking “Why don’t you like her, then?”
“I like her” he says, hands on his ankles and then eyes on his hands “I just think they clash a lot”
“He says we’re chaotic”
“Well, it sums it up”
“It’s actually painful to witness” Remus says as he looks at James and Sirius snorts “I mean, take me for an example, you make a whole lot of allowances for me and are very forgiving when I mess up, but when Evans does something that’s not what you wanted her to do you get so angry, so vindictive-”
“And she doesn’t?”
“No, yeah, she does too. Like, you’re actually dating, at the moment, after so much teasing and chasing, and it’s still such a struggle. That’s what I don’t really get, how you both chase someone that brings out the meanest in you”
“I don’t- I don’t think we bring that out of each other, I think it’s something inherent to being in a relationship. Like, there’s a lot of shit in you that you don’t really get the depth and the width of until you’re elbow deep intimate with someone else, and vice-versa, and that’s upsetting for both parties involved. That’s just what it is, love hurts because seeing yourself and, you know, being seen, hurts”
Remus is a bit subdued, “I can understand that. But you should be with someone who pushes you to do good when it hurts, no? Instead of trying to hit each other at all the odd angles”
James shrugs, “Getting pissed out and, okay, making a scene, isn’t necessarily not doing good. Like, I see what you mean, and I admit we sometimes act like we’re still seventeen, but that’s how we are, how we’ve always been. But we keep finding each other. If you envision a gentler way of, you know, ironing out the edges, I believe you will find it. I do. But there’s just no envisioning anything different for me when I’m so, well, whipped”
Remus lets out a gentle chuckle and nods, “Clearly”. Sirius’ eyes sweep from James to him, and their eyes meet before Remus turns his head and checks the clock on the screen.
“It’s getting a bit late, I think I should get going”
“You left the bike at the shop”
“I- shit”
“Stay over, and we can go together tomorrow”
“Alright” Remus nods, and grabs his phone.
They scroll in their respective phones for a while. When Remus yawns, James leaves to get him some clothes, and when he’s back Remus is shirtless, and Sirius is running his fingers down the stag on his ribs.
“Couldn’t rest properly before getting your hands on it, could you?”
“It’s a bit wobbly here. It soothes me”
“Fuck you, no it’s not. Where?”
Remus himself looks like a deer caught in the headlights with the both of them perched over his side. He’s trembling slightly, has goosebumps all over, is hardly breathing and yes, definitely blushing.
Sirius traces over an impeccable line, which earns him a slap on the back of his head.
“Come on, we will leave you to rest” James says as he lifts himself up and pulls the sleeve of Sirius’ jumper “Night, Lupin”
“Night, Bambi” Sirius teases, and trumps it with a winning smile. Remus just looks terribly embarrassed.
“Goodnight" he manages to say.