Archive of Our Own

It is simply a fact of spending even a day manifested will increase the chance you’ll have of seeing something strange. The same as the longer you go without eating the more you’re going to start feeling hungry or the longer you go without breathing the more uncomfortable it is or if you drop something it’s going to fall downwards. Similarly, the more days you are manifested it stops being just an increase on a chance and just becomes a certainty.

Sometimes even this place has ‘boring’ days after all. 

Sometimes.

Their circumstances alone already sort of doom them to an increased amount of what he supposes a normal human being would consider strangeness. They are all swords that are given human bodies and then to go fight weird flaming boney enemies. Sometimes it’s just boney snakes and sometimes there’s just bones on the enemy's bodies, more like a feature like that hat Sayo wears when dispatched or sometimes on particularly sunny days when he’s working outdoors.

You, or anyone that puts a few minutes of thought into it, could argue that it was all of the swords themselves and the very noisy combination of histories, lack of histories, personalities, hobbies, friendships, rivalries and the entire living in close proximity was what actually made it impossible to avoid strange things. Or strange events. Or strange people. Or strange swords. 

It could also be argued that it didn’t need to get as far as a room with Kuwana, Hasebe and Nikkou for the entire citadel to be doomed. You could probably just start with the fact the very first member of the citadel and the one in charge of, as he’s heard it called, this ‘entire circus’ and that Master is just as strange as every single sword that’s been manifested in this place.

And he, Yamanbagiri Kunihiro, who would stare down anyone from outside that would dare say something like that out loud…. Wouldn’t actually be able to come up with a well worded reason why that isn’t true and he would have to resort to just staring at the offending person and try his best to at least make them uncomfortable.

He just wouldn’t be able to come up with something good to say it isn’t true…

Because it is.

But Master is fine the way Master is. And maybe it would be easier if they were a little less eternally confusing and not subjecting them to the strangest dispatch parties or showing up behind you and saying something or being embarrassing or…

….But all that is what makes Master… themselves. 

So as much as it would be easier it’s not like Yamanbagiri would ask for Master to change. Or that Master would listen but he wouldn’t ask either. 

He just thinks about it. Sometimes.

Yamanbagiri has had plenty of exposure to Master after all, he’s been in this citadel from the very first day and as a result he’s also had a lot of exposure to all the strange things that have happened over time.  He even knows a lot of the strange things that happen, have happened and sometimes will happen. More than average at least.

Some strange things are normal but not exactly anything that will make you stop and look since they’re not exactly strange anymore. If anything happens enough it stops being strange and just are things that happen. 

Like seeing his brother... Either of them but mostly Yamabushi walking by with large boulders balanced on his shoulders and walking cheerfully along.

Like finding Souza in the library frowning at yet another one of those novels and seeming generally displeased with what he’s reading but never actually stopping to read. 

Like finding Kasen listening to a conversation around a corner because it’s basically an open secret that Kasen really, really wants to know everything that’s going on but doesn’t find gossip very ‘refined’ but he can’t seem to help it either.

 If you want a private conversation in this place you go somewhere private or at least do spot checks when you’re in a hallway.

Some strange things are a bit unusual or are still attention grabbing despite them not really being that uncommon. Somehow, they retain the feeling of being something unusual. Or special. Or disturbing. 

Like watching Taikou imitate someone so well that you can’t help but look around for the person in question. It doesn’t help that Taikou is particularly good at it. That power could be quite dangerous…

Like hearing Nakigitsune speak. It’s not as if Nakigitsune never speaks it’s just that he generally doesn’t unless it’s needed or his Fox is elsewhere. He’s been hearing Nakigitsune a bit more lately but not that much either. It’s kind of impressive with the kind of things they’re doing there…

Yamanbagiri shakes his head and puts that specific thought off to later. Where it belongs.

But definitely like witnessing Juzumaru, the very intense but unfailingly polite and seemingly unable to be anything but unperturbed by anything happening around him, willingly and without acting any differently participating in the antics of that usual bunch. 

(Yamanbagiri will never forget most of the things he’s witnessed with that group but one specific memory always immediately jumps off if he even thinks about them in passing. Watching and being unable to even blink as Juzumaru beats Shishiou, Doudanuki, Otegine and Ookanehira in a hotdog eating context.)

(That memory… It’s seared deep into the brain of this human body.)

But there are some strange things that didn’t really fit into those categories and weren’t outright alien. Things that were a bit of novelty despite not being that strange. In context that strange that is. 

It’s not that strange to see someone crouching somewhere, anywhere across the citadel’s grounds that is. There are lots of reasons to be lowered down near or in a bush. You drop something, someone else drops something, one of Gokotai’s tigers wants to play and stole the report you working on, you thought you saw something else but it’s just the Nue...

Lots of legitimate perfectly common reasons. 

There’s lots of less than legitimate… though they still are legitimate he guesses. Just not ‘respectable’ reasons as well. 

For someone like Izuminokami it’s a bit of the second thing he guesses. 

The novelty of seeing Izuminokami crouch... Crouching? Crouch crouching? In the bushes is that his hair is filled with leaves, too many for them to just fall on or come loose from the innocent bush that he’s waiting in. Izuminokami spends a lot of time and energy on both ‘looking good’ and ‘being practical’ but he always made a bit of a fuss about this kind of activity. He was more the type to be caught spying on someone because he had an ear pressed against the door or he was leaning too far across a corner not this there was obviously an attempt at blending in.

The reason for the effort is the target he thinks. When there’s someone sneakier than you and are extremely vigilant then if you were to be spying on someone it would probably be best to try you best to hide your presence a bit…

Izuminokami has a lot of presence though. All the time. That’s because he’s loud. And noisy. He’s fully, completely a part of that really noisy part of the citadel population. There are swords louder than him at times but he has a high enough average to place in the top ten for sure. Whether or not you’re counting Nansen’s seemingly involuntary meowing. 

But for all the obvious effort that obviously went into disguising himself, Yamanbagiri spotted him by accident. He had dropped the coil of rope he’s going to for sure need for later, a bit distracted by what sounded like some distant shouting that was barely audible over the general sounds of the outdoors. 

And Horikawa talking to Kasen.

As Yamanbagiri bent over to retrieve the rope he makes eye contact with a pair of eyes in bush. 

He stares back at them for a while before Izuminokami broke and hissed at Yamanbagiri to give him away.

So Yamanbagiri isn’t sure if this is supposed to be funny or just a strange change of pace that he at the very least isn’t being subjected to in a targeted way as much as it was an accident. There are a lot of these types of accidents. 

Izuminokami had explained himself but Yamanbagiri still feels the explanation still doesn’t quite explain why this is supposed to be a good idea even as he crouches next to Izuminokami still pretty perplexed.

It just seems like this is the hardest way to do things.

“...You could just ask him.” He brings up the option just in case that Izuminokami really hadn’t considered it. He’s certain it would be a lot less time consuming and would involve few bushes and mediocre attempts of blending in with the citadel’s foliage. 

All this work to spy on someone probably isn’t needed. There are plenty of other swords that spy on everyone else without getting caught or putting in so much effort. At least he thinks that Akashi wouldn’t go through this much trouble and Nikkou definitely seems like he’d have a better way to do it. Maybe asking at least a tantou or two. Or really anyone sneaky. The citadel is full of guys like that. 

Izuminokami scoffs. Somewhat loudly for someone that is supposedly trying to be quiet and sneaky. 

That’s why Yamanbagiri thinks that Izuminokami needs some help honestly.

“As if. Do you just go around asking for answers like that when you need them Kunihiro’s bro? You have to earn the answers yourself!”

Yamanbagiri considers the response for a long quiet moment as he observes Izuminokami observing Horikawa talking with Kasen about getting a supply of coloured paper. Especially red paper for some reason. It seems like a weird choice for who to go to when you need such a specific specialty supply thing but he supposes if anyone has that kind of thing somewhat handy that at least Kasen comes to mind as an option.

Though it is a bit odd they’re meeting about it behind the dojo like this. Not exactly a standard meeting place but if you want to avoid having a bunch of the other’s listening in, whether by accident or on purpose, he could see the logic about it. 

But the bigger question is why Izuminokami feels the need to be spying on Horikawa like this when he could just ask. Izuminokami is definitely not the type to ever hesitate to ask anything ever of Horikawa and the only reason that he wouldn’t is that Horikawa had already done or gotten or made whatever Izuminokami was asking after appear. 

Not the type at all…

“You already asked.” He states flatly, thinking he finally sees where this wind is blowing from. 

Izuminokami takes his eyes off the two he’s watching, an eyebrow twitching. 

“No, I already attempted some information gathering and it just so happens that Kunihiro was ready for me and evaded my attempts!”

“....You already asked and he said it was a secret or refused to tell you then.” Now he’s pretty certain.

It’s not that strange to see one of the others react strangely to a statement like that but you’d think that he’d instead prodded Izuminokami with the hilt of his sword or something with how he’s twitching even more now.

“You have this all wrong Kunihiro’s bro! I’m information gathering and... And.” Izuminokami’s face lights up like he’s found a stash of chocolate bars and he suddenly looks smug. “Andddd, it’s not like you know either right? That’s why you’re here now too right?” 

“No.” Because he’s not here for that and it was kind of chance that he spotted Izuminokami and otherwise he would have just taken this rope where it goes and then went checking with the others for what’s left so far. “You stand out a bit.” He adds bluntly. Maybe Izuminokami would manage if he sat perfectly still and stays completely quiet he wouldn’t be spotted as long as Horikawa and Kasen didn’t examine or search their surroundings too much. 

Izuminokami huffs, more loudly than he should since he doesn’t want to be spotted and at this rate Horikawa and Kasen really are going to spot him. 

“I’m perfectly hidden!” He insists. “I’ve been here for forever and no one’s spotted me so far and I bet it was just a random chance an-”

“Yamanbagiri.” A quiet but rarely heard voice speaks up suddenly and Izuminokami flings himself away from the new presence. He goes as far as to five right into another bush which really isn’t helping with the stealth part of the staying hidden. Which is all of staying hidden. 

“Holy hell Nakigitsune! Watch who you’re sneaking up on. I’m trying to spy properly here!” Which probably isn’t good for trying to spy either. Loudly declaring that you’re trying to spy on something that is. He’s also acting more like he came out of a fight rather than jumped and rushed away from being startled by one of the swords that is actually pretty stealthy. 

Because he’s quiet. Yamanbagiri isn’t sure if Nakigitsune is actively trying to be stealthy or not. He might just blend into things naturally. He wishes he could get that power too. 

Nakigitsune tilts his head and there’s a beat of silence as the newcomer obviously examines Izuminokami’s still mediocre disguise. He wonders if it’s a little less than mediocre since Izuminokami lost quite a few leaves in his evasive maneuvers. The one that had been previously tucked behind his ear is torn in half for some reason.

But… It could also actually be a bit better than mediocre now too…? He’s picked up some leaves and plants from the path he took through the bushes and the dirt from the ground too so now there’s actually a bit more variety.

“Ah.” Nakigitsune tilts his head and then nods, a very soft ‘sorry’ is murmured quietly. Which is what they should be doing. Being quiet.

Yamanbagiri looks up at Nakigitsune and gathers up his coil of rope before standing. Nakigitsune is probably here to check to make sure that everything is ready for this evening and he’s the one in charge of checking that everyone got everything they needed. 

“I already have the rope and I think Nansen was getting the weights… Otegine already handed over the branches right…?” The items themselves that they were told to gather make him a bit nervous. Nervous and pondering exactly how these supposedly innocent items will be used against them.

But he did sign up for this. They all did.

Nakigitsune nods. Which is enough honestly. It’s easy to talk to Nakigitsune.

“Oi! Kunihiro’s bro and Nakigitsune be quiet! Kunihiro is going to hear you!” Izuminokami hisses loudly from his new bush despite being the loudest person here at the moment. 

If anyone is going to give him away it’s going to be hi-

“Kane-san!” “Izuminokami!” 

Yamanbagiri blinks as his brother and Kasen are now standing over the bush Izuminokami is still submerging himself in. They weren’t there a moment ago, at least he doesn’t think so. He definitely didn’t hear them coming.

That makes two more people more sneaky than Izuminokami. 

“Uh. Wait. Kunihiro, I can explain.” Waving his hands in front of him as he backs away it looks more like Izuminokami is planning on making a break for it instead of explaining anything to anyone at the moment.

Horikawa obviously doesn’t buy that either as his brother crosses his arms and looks a bit unimpressed. Like when he found out Yamanbagiri wouldn’t throw out the wrappers he has in his room. But they weren’t trash. He washed them.

“Then go-ahead Kane-san. What are you doing?”

Kasen, not really one to be left behind in a conversation and always willing to participate in these kinds of moments, jumps in. 

And why are you covered in leaves and dirt? So unrefined, do you have no respect for those on laundry duty?” 

Yamanbagiri looks down at his clothing smudged with dirt.

But Kasen takes these kinds for things very seriously, laundry, being unrefined, and dirt. So, his annoyance makes sense. 

Horikawa is pretty grumpy looking as well. Yamanbagiri kind of wants to ask if Horikawa what exactly is going on anyways but if he wants to keep whatever he’s doing a secret from his partner that’s up to him. If Horikawa needs help he’ll come and ask. Or tell him to help depending on what exactly is going on.

The second situation means he can’t really decline…

Having ‘Brothers’ is kind of difficult.

“Wait.” Izuminokami is looking a bit smug now as he raises a hand. “I wasn’t the only one in the bush. Ask your bro too Kunihiro.” Yamanbagiri stares down at Izuminokami as he, and he thinks he remembers what Master says this kind of thing is called, throws him under the bus. Master likes using these kinds of sayings. A lot. 

Horikawa doesn’t seem to be worrying about anything but giving his partner a disappointed look but Izuminokami’s attempt to divert attention does catch Kasen’s attention. Kasen turns towards him with his frown building up in power.

“That’s a good question. What exactly were you doing in there Yamanbagiri-san? Your cloak is even more dirty than usual and what if Master were to call on you and not mention letting yourself get mixed up in whatever antics that Izuminokami has involved himself in is foolish-”

“Hey!” Izuminokami cries out sounding a bit offended.

Kasen ploughs onwards not even paying attention to the somewhat interruption. “-to begin with and not to mention it is a bit suspicious.” Kasen’s eyes narrow and his gaze falls downwards to focus sharply on his coil of rope. “And what exactly is that for? Don’t tell me you were going to do something unscrupulous along the lines of what Tsurumaru would just like that. I would have you know that-” Kasen is not looking like he’s slowing down at all and won’t be stopping either.

He’s doomed. 

He didn’t want to get involved in anything and even somewhat was kind of trying to tell Izuminokami to stop but he’s been implicated in Izuminokami’s crimes of bad spying and mischief. 

He’s definitely doomed.

A hand falls on his shoulder gently, startling him somewhat. “Nakigitsune needs rope for a training exercise. Yamanbagiri-san went to get it for Nakigitsune.” 

Yamanbagiri peers back at the perpetually masked uchigatana for a moment. The other looks as stoic as ever but hearing that many words from Nakigitsune without a question being directed at him when the fox wasn’t around or in general really is different.

It’s… surprising. 

Kasen seems to agree as he loses all the steam that he had been building up as he was scolding Izuminokami and then Yamanbagiri. 

“Ah. I see.” Kasen clears his throat, looking to the side away from any of them quickly. “I apologize then Nakigitsune-san. I’ll...ah, leave you two to it. If you do spot this miscreant doing anything like what I described or making a nuisance of himself please feel free to let me know instead of trying to speak to him.”

This catches his brother’s attention properly and Horikawa smiles towards the rest of them after finally turning away from Izuminokami finally. 

“I’m glad you were trying to help out brother but Kasen-san is right, please leave it to one of us next time.” Yamanbagiri is somewhat happy there’s some faith in him but on the other hand he doesn’t think it would have gone over as well if Nakigitsune hadn’t stepped in. Especially with Kasen. 

“Hey!” It might be a better idea to just escape… or rather take the chance that there’s at least a chance that he could escape without immediately drawing Horikawa’s and Kasen’s attention but Izuminokami seems to care more about the way that the conversation is going. Which is brave of him. Maybe. “Kunihiro! Kasen! Are you both just going to take that at face value like that!?” 

His brother leans forward and frowns at his partner.

“I know Nakigitsune-san wouldn’t be involved in this kind of thing even if you managed to bother my brother into helping Kane-san.” 

That was a lot of faith in Nakigitsune and Yamanbagiri honestly agrees.

But…

What does the rest of that say about what his brother thinks of him in situations like that? It’s not like he can’t avoid being pulled in?

Right?

Nakigitsune nudges his shoulders and pulls lightly.

Looking at Kasen turning his attention back to Izuminokami and Izuminokami himself gearing up to say something himself… Yeah, it’s probably the best time to leave the scene before they are pulled back into what’s happening.

But that means he should say something. Because that’s polite. The others like to say that leaving without saying something is rude. And he can’t ask Nakigitsune to say something after the other got him out of Kasen’s target.

“We’ll… just...go then.” He feels a bit awkward now that Kasen and Horikawa have their eyes trained on Izuminokami but he tries to back away slowly. “...Bye.”

“See you later Brother! Nakigitsune-san!” “Have a pleasant afternoon.” Despite the cheery response and, uh, polite response.

Neither of them looks over at them.

Izuminokami shoots him a look. They make eye contact. He’s Obviously trying to communicate something. 

Yamanbagiri turns his back and leaves Izuminokami to his fate.

“Now, I told you that I’d tell you about what I’m working on once it was ready Kane-san and just like you know, this kind of watching others isn’t right to do to anyone. On top of that all, look at your clothes. I think you’re going to go get cleaned up and then we’re taking you to go help out Juzumaru-san and Ookanehira-san on laundry duty. It’s only fair.”

There is a distressed sound like that of a dying animal. 

But Izuminokami isn’t a dying animal.

“Wait. Kunihiro! Today is my day off. That’s not fair!”

“You should have thought about that before you went spying like this, especially so obviously.” 

“You do this kind of thing all the time Kunihiro!” Izuminokami is starting to sound a bit desperate.

“Information gathering for Master and you spying on me when I told you what I was doing was a secret are entirely different things Kane-san.”

“Wait a second Kunihiro…! Wait! Kunihiro’s bro! Nakigitsune! Don’t leave me here!!”

Yamanbagiri feels a bit bad but he doesn’t stop walking. He’s sure Izuminokami will either learn a lesson or get better at sneaking around for next time. 

Probably.

Yamanbagiri feels as if he… how did Master say it? Jinxed himself? There are some really strange phrases that humans come up with and use. Even more strange than the other sayings he’s heard over time that is. But all the sayings he knows have come from humans so maybe it's the specific humans that are strange instead of the saying?

Izuminokami is walking behind him, smelling strongly of cleaning products and laundry detergent and he’s pushing him down a hallway.

He hadn’t actually agreed to go down this hallway.

It’s not as if Izuminokami really listened either though. 

He really has to finish getting everything together since it’s almost time to go and meet everyone and evening is getting steadily closer. He also needs to steel his mind before they start. 

There’s no room for weakness and if you're unprepared there will be no sympathy or mercy. He really doesn’t want a repeat of the obstacle course incident again. Again, again. No mercy after all and maybe because there was one incident… and then another is why they keep getting picked as the theme of the sessions.

He still flinches when he sees logs flying at him.

Or maybe that’s just the natural reaction? It’s not as if logs come barreling at his face that often to test that out either or that he wants to get someone to throw a log at his face to test that and it might be different depending if you’re expecting a log or not? He’ll honestly leave it to one of the others that are more interested in experimenting with these kinds of things. 

The point of this all is that he has things that really need to get done and he’s instead being pushed down a hallway. 

“Don’t be stingy Kunihiro’s bro. It’s your fault that I got caught anyways so I just need some help real quick and you can go back to lurking or whatever it is that you do in your free time.”

“I wasn’t the only one there.” He points out despite not really wanting Izuminokami going to bother Nakigitsune who is also getting ready but it just sort of feels important to mention if nothing else but for the principal of the matter. If nothing else. 

“Well, Nakigitsune was busy so it’s just you that has to pay it back.”

“...I’m busy too…”

Izuminokami doesn’t stop pushing him but he’s quiet for a moment.

“Alright. Well. Nansen was in Nakigitsune’s room too for some reason and when I tried to ask he started freaking out and doing that meowing and hissing thing while saying all this stuff about how they’re going to be late and then Yagen appeared and what was I supposed to do?”

Nansen is right. They’re going to be late if they let themselves get caught up in whatever Izuminokami is trying to do now.

But this was also all his own fault. If he had done the smart thing that he keeps telling himself that he’s going to do when someone stands at his door with a smile like that or looks like they’re looking for him with that kind of excitement. He should just close the door on their face. 

But he ends up waiting. In case it is important. There’s a chance that it could be important. 

But with Izuminokami the chance is pretty small. But the chance is still there. It exists.

There is no way anyone actually needs his help. There’s no way that Izuminokami actually needs his help. What's more likely is that he’s trying to not get in trouble or get caught asking questions. At least he thinks so. There’s a small chance that there’s something else… There’s no chance. 

“Do it yourself.” He thinks Horikawa has always told him to just say that if he’s been bothered into doing something but it’s very easy for Horikawa to say. And Shokudaikiri. And Ookurikara. And Kasen. And Yamabushi kind of. And Yagen. And Master. But Master also is a culprit for this kind of thing.

“That’s not going to work out Kunihiro’s bro otherwise I would have obviously done it already!”

Yamanbagiri sighs. He’s tried. That’s worth something right? It might just be faster to just go along with it and probably get in trouble and then he’ll finally be able to get back to things. 

“What… exactly do you need?”

There’s a few more beats of silence where Izuminokami doesn’t instantly start going over his grand plan. It fills him with suspicion. He directs that suspicion right at the deserving target when he looks back at the other and stares.

“Hey! It’s nothing bad! I just…” Izuminokami seems to actually think about how to word what he wants to say instead of just saying it. “...Need you to go into the kitchen and ask the guys in there a few questions on what they’ve been helping Kunihiro with. It’ll be easy! Even you could manage it!” Something about how that is worded is… annoying.

“You haven’t given up then.” Not that he thought that Izuminokami would. But the idea that maybe he had mistaken the entire situation and misread the other entirely is a thought of passing hope. Maybe that he could get through this particular incident of being unwillingly pushed or tricked down a hallway without something happening. Like indirectly spying or bothering his brother in this specific case.

This particular time has pretty bad timing but at least it’s only Izuminokami and not one of the more dangerous guys to get caught up in their plans. Izuminokami is more likely to just get them caught and at least wouldn’t be the type to somehow completely pass under the radar and leave Yamanbagiri alone as the only one that doesn’t believe that stupid act and…

Yeah.

He doesn’t think that guy is involved in this at least.

“Of course not!” Izuminokami’s loud response startles him and he blinks as the other passionately continues. “I have to know what Kunihiro is up to! His tactics won’t keep me from the truth.” He even looks like he believes it.

The problem isn’t that exactly. At least not only the idea that Izuminokami thinks that anyone that Horikawa is working on something secret with would actually give it away.

But it’s the kitchen.

At this time. On this specific day….

He already knows at least some of the guys that would be in there. It’s a meeting day for the ‘cooking club’ as they like to call themselves. As some of them like to call themselves. 

A lot of the others have joined in at least a session or two. There is a primary member list and they meet pretty regularly. The meetings of it tend to overlap with his own meetings so he hasn’t joined one. It’s actually probably on purpose now that he thinks of it.

The club tries things out and are… cooking. Food. They are cooking food. Or baking. Or both. They really only really got to be a semi-official thing when Shokudaikiri saw that Master had started all those volunteer clubs to help with the students they’re teaching. Shokudaikiri decided he wanted one, a club, just like that. And then it just sort of happened. Somehow.

The ‘somehow’ is key here. The regular members... they… Is izuminokami that desperate for answers that he’s willing to try at the cooking club for answers?

Yamanbagiri finally does what he should have done from the start and digs his feet into the floor and tries to turn around...

“You know who’s at that meeting, right?” He wants to confirm. Just in case Izuminokami somehow didn’t manage to close a washing machine door on his head and knock that particularly significant memory out of his head.

He’s managed to do that once when he was on duty. But he didn’t lose any memories and it was an accident. And it just sort of hurt. 

“Of course! That’s why I need you Kunihiro’s bro. There’s no way they’re going to say no to you. Everyone likes you after all and they always answer your weird questions so it’s perfect!”

“Everyone does not.” Yamanbagiri immediately focuses on denying that important detail because it’s completely untrue. “And I don’t ask weird questions.” He asks questions because often the others, Master, everyone just says things that don’t make sense

“I’m not counting Yamanbagiri number two Kunihiro’s bro.” Izuminokami nods to himself like he said something very significant instead of what actually came out of his mouth.

“Don’t call him that. And everyone still does not.” His Original would freak out on Izuminokami if he found out that he was calling him that. Again.

It is also kind of rude to call someone. To call his Original that. To call any Yamanbagiri that. He doesn’t think he has very high standards for being rude but there has to be a line somewhere.

Izuminokami huffs and starts pushing again even though it’s making Yamanbagiri walk backwards. He’s going to trip on something.

“Whatever. Don’t get stuck on the details like that.” He shakes his head like he’s putting up with something difficult instead of causing all the difficulty himself. “The point is just to use your weird dirty cloak tricks and distract them with some small talk. Once you have their guard down you get them to answer the question on what’s going on.” Izuminokami really makes it sound like he’s come up with some sort of great plan and is sharing it now with someone that doesn’t understand.

But he doesn’t understand because it is not a great plan. Or even a good plan. Or even an Okay pl… Never mind.

Making small talk? Yamanbagiri? Yamanbagiri Kunihiro?

Yamanbagiri gives Izuminokami his best unimpressed look that is usually saved for certain situations and certain individuals. He’s still walking backwards and is still worried he’s going to be run off the path or into a wall by Izuminokami. But that might be a good thing since it’ll give him an excuse to get away and then get back to triple checking he has everything ready before going to meet the others.

“This won’t work.” It’s important to state facts out loud when people are being unreasonable. It even works… sometimes. “You actually remember who’s in the club, right?” It’s still the most important detail and it’s worth repeating. Again.

The reminder does seem to actually have some sort of impact this time. Izuminokami winces a bit but his expression unfortunately firms up with resolve and he actually hasn’t stopped pushing him either. 

So that probably didn’t work.

“You just… do what you usually do and then ask them what Kunihiro is up to. You’re Kunihiro’s bro so it’ll be better if they think you’re just checking on Kunihiro. It’ll even be believable since you’re always thinking so hard on stuff and being a worry wart. It’s a win Kunihiro’s anyways right? You won’t have to worry about paying me back for getting me caught either!”

“I wasn’t worried and I don’t think.” 

Yamanbagiri thinks of the fact that Master had told him to try writing down his thoughts to help clear up the stuff he’s thinking on. So maybe saying that line again about thinking is a bit stupid now but… Yeah.

“Not the point Kunihiro’s bro.” Izuminokami doesn’t seem to care or buy it. “It’ll go faster if you just go for it okay?”

Yamanbagiri draws in an exhausted breath and just… It’s not as if this kind of thing doesn’t always manage to happen to him but this is just... A lot more than usual. 

It might be because Izuminokami is both louder and more obvious than everyone else.

Ugh.

Fine. Whatever. Maybe Shokudaikiri and the others won’t think it’s too weird.

How…

How does this always happen…

Izuminokami waits around the corner of the hallway and shoots him a thumbs up before he ducks around the corner. This leaves him standing in front of the kitchen’s currently closed door. This plan really doesn’t strike him as a good idea and the sight of the door is really reminding him of that. He really thinks that Izuminokami should just wait until Horikawa reveals whatever he’s working on properly.

Honestly.

Yamanbagiri tugs on his hood and lets out a breath, a very long breath, and knocks. You should definitely knock before entering the kitchen when the club has gathered because it could be like that time… times that Shokudaikiri was trying to work with something a bit dangerous with all those guys. They didn’t want someone barging into the kitchen and accidentally causing someone to spill hot liquid sugar everywhere. 

He heard hot sugar burns hurt. 

There’s another fleeting hope that maybe they’re busy or decided to go play board games instead of meeting but just like all the other hopes he’s had so far, it’s shot down really quickly. Really quickly.

There’s barely a moment’s delay after he knocks before Shokudaikiri cheerfully calls out a “Come in!” which finishes off that most recent and most quickly killed hope that maybe they would just not let him in. That would have been an easy way to avoid this all.

But he’s not that lucky.

Of course…

Yamanbagiri doesn’t even know what being lucky in this kind of thing feels like anyways so it’s not as if he misses the feeling exactly. He just regrets never getting to know it.

He opens the door and luckily it’s not an… Overly crowded meeting of the cooking club. There are only the key members. But it sure does feel crowded though…

It’s probably because the average size of the swords in the room is… big. 

Shokudaikiri smiles brightly at him. 

“Good afternoon Yamanbagiri-san! Were you planning on joining us this time? I had no idea so I didn’t prepare a spot but that’s not a big deal at all and I can set you up in no time at all!” Shokudaikiri’s visible eye is darting around the space in the kitchen and is very obviously already calculating where is the best spot to place him. If he’s not careful he’s going to get pulled in and end up making cookies or something like that.

Yamanbagiri shakes his head and pulls the door shut behind him.

“No. I just… have a question.” He trails off with a mutter because now that he’s standing here, he’s reminded, again, of how much this really doesn’t feel like a great idea.

Yamanbagiri takes a sweeping glance of the kitchen. Shokudaikiri looks like he was happily chopping what looks like apples if he had to guess. Onimaru, with a very neutral expression plastered on his face, stirs a bowl full of fluids as Oodenta tries to gingerly break an egg into flour. The rag next to the bowl seems to show that despite the obvious attempts at being careful at least one of the eggs had exploded in the process.

More distracting is what appears to be the sight of Nikkou trying to at least somewhat subtly distract Sanchoumou and steal a sponge right of the other’s hands. They’re crowded in front of the sinks and he was not distracted from what sounds like his mission of trying to take over the chore himself when he entered the room. Sanchoumou attempts to shake his head saying that ‘This time I really should, it isn’t fair if my Wing keeps taking my turns.’

Yamanbagiri doesn’t think the argument is working but it seems like a good effort and who else would be able to wear down Nikkou on a subject like this?

The only other one in the room is initially really easy to miss and it’s not at all because he’s not standing out but because of all these unreasonably tall guys drawing your eyes upwards. Taikou is humming as he helps Shokudaikiri by peeling apples. The skin of the apples is coming off in one long line without breaking. It’s kind of impressive. 

Every time Yamanbagiri is told to peel apples or anything else the peels just kind of hack off in chunks. Not that he’s ever tried to get one long smooth line like that when he’s on cooking duty. Or that he wants to peel apples. It just makes sense to eat the apples with the skin after all…

Shokudaikiri, still smiling, nods.

“No problem, maybe next time then? What can I help with though? If Sada-chan is bothering Haku-kun again I can go get him.” Yamanbagiri actually doesn’t know if Taikogane is bothering Hakusan again. Or in general still. Hakusan seems to both put up with it and go looking for the tantou so it’s honestly hard to tell if any actual bothering is happening. He’s tried offering advice on it but Hakusan doesn’t actually seem to see it the way they all see it. Somehow, he sees it differently than everyone else.

Hakusan said something about how Taikogane ‘is simply displaying his emotions dishonestly’ and then says to not be concerned about him. 

He’s still not sure he understands exactly what Hakusan meant but it sounds like he has it under control. Ichigo at least isn’t coming to get Shokudaikiri as often about it anymore. 

“No. Not that.” Now that he has Shokudaikiri’s attention… but he’s had his attention from the start. It’s more like ‘now that he almost certainly has the attention of everyone in the room’... he sort of wishes he hadn’t bothered to come in. He should have run. He could make a break for it still. Why doesn’t he ever take the chance to run when the opportunity appears?

Yamanbagiri tugs his hood down a bit more over his face.

“...About my Brother.”

Shokudaikiri looks like he understands. At least that looks like understanding on his face.

“Which brother Yamanbagiri-san?”

“...Horikawa.”

Shokudaikiri looks bemused and he thinks he spots Taikou laughing into hands before the tantou moves in a sudden and rapid shot of limbs over to the sink to wash his hands again. Even Sanchoumou is smiling from the looks of it…

What has he done…?

“Ah. That would make sense. Is there something wrong with Horikawa-san that you’re worried Yamanbagiri-san?”

Shokudaikiri is asking so nicely that he really, really.... Not suddenly since he’s wanted it from the start but definitely really, really doesn’t want to ‘take advantage’ of what Izuminokami is expecting him to.

Also, if the time on the clock is right… He’s cutting it a bit close for meeting everyone. 

More difficult and dangerous than being late, and being late is dangerous, is keeping it secret. Part of the deal to keep having the meetings is to keep these meetings secret and that’s going to be very difficult if Shokudaikiri, Sanchoumou and Nikkou are all here together in this room. Even if the others are dangerous to the whole ‘keeping it secret’ in general part of the arrangement. 

“...” Yamanbagiri stays silent for a moment before... he tries anyways. To ask something. Because there’s no chance they’re going to say anything on the subject that he’s been pushed here to ask and he really needs to just ask so he can say he can. Then he’ll be able to go. “He’s been busy. And I heard he’s been here a lot. In the kitchen.”

There’s a quiet, because it’s being muffled by the door, sound of footsteps along with something that maybe sounds like someone talking in the hallway. A couple of someones. It has to be actually pretty loud and faraway or very quiet and very close for him to be able to hear it at all in here…

“Ah, well. Horikawa has just been joining in a few of our sessions recently.” Shokudaikiri smiles reassuringly. “We’ve been working on cakes and chocolates and he’s interested in something in particular but I can’t really give out the details since it’s a secret. I promise it’s nothing bad though so there’s nothing to worry about with your brother. Have you tried just asking him? I bet if he knew you were worried he wouldn’t hold back from answering.” 

Yamanbagiri agrees. Just asking Horikawa would be easier but he wouldn’t go around his brother like that to find out for Izuminokami. Just being here in the kitchen and asking Shokudaikiri like this is basically too much.

Horikawa wants to keep it secret. At least from Izuminokami. Probably from him too since he hasn’t asked for help or told him. 

“If he wants it secret, he can… Just wanted to check in…” The volume of his voice lowers more and more. He doesn’t really want to give this kind of lie because of this kind of weird reason.

Shokudaikiri sympathetically pats his shoulder.

“Don’t worry too much. You’re overthinking it Yamanbagiri-san, I guarantee it this time.” He’s not over thinking anything this time since it’s actually Izuminokami that is the one that is over thinking about it.

“I don’t overthink things.” He reflexively denies, mostly out of habit. 

Someone snorts. Loudly. He’s not sure he wants to know which one of them snorted at him denying that he over thinks thing. There are so many distinguished swords in this room. Snorting means something specific. He’s not really fitting in with this kind of company…

The previously muffled sounds that had been leaking through the door, which hadn’t actually stopped, explode into the kitchen. Along with the door.

Suishinshi shoves over the door with a loud “Excuse me!” thrown into the room by him.

There’s quite a crowd at the door. A big crowd. A familiar crowd.

He looks at the clock.

Uh oh.

Otegine stands, looking sheepish, behind the group. There are a few blond hairs peeking out from behind him that… must be Nansen. Everyone else is holding either bags or the objects that they were told to gather. Nakigitsune is holding two bags.

This doesn’t seem like they’re doing a very good job at keeping things secret.

Nansen is at least probably trying to hide from the other Ichimonjis but he isn’t being helped by Buzen trying to quietly, but not quietly enough, telling him it will be fine. That they have this.

They definitely do not have this.

Though.

They are actually probably helped by Izuminokami being sprawled on the ground of the kitchen like he had been leaning against the door…

…

It’s Izuminokami. He probably was leaning against the door.

Listening in.

Yamanbagiri guesses that means that he probably didn’t trust him to pass on whatever information he was expecting from this. That Horikawa was interested in cakes and chocolate.

...He… Doesn’t blame him. Who would count on a duplicate like him to gather information like that an-

Shokudaikiri, looking like a cross between exasperated and amused, places down the apple half he’d still been holding for some reason. He crosses his arms.

“Again Izuminokami?”

Huh. It is true that this isn’t the first time that Shokudaikiri has indirectly or directly caught Izuminokami listening in at a door that he’s on the other side of. Izuminokami made it something of a habit since the day Shokudaikiri first arrived at the citadel. Or at least the day that Ookurikara arrived. That’s how Ookurikara met Izuminokami. 

Because Izuminokami was listening in on them. 

Or trying. They’d been sleeping. 

Suishinshi looks between Izuminokami on the ground who’s trying to get up and Shokudaikiri before he steps around Izuminokami. He bows slightly.

“I apologize for the interruption Shokudaikiri-san. We were just looking for Yamanbagiri-san please don’t mind us.” Suishinshi always sounds very serious but not always at all. From what he’s seen, heard and witnessed multiple times since the other’s arrival it really does look like this is a lot of work for Suishinshi. To sound so serious. You just have to listen to any conversation he has that involves him loudly exclaiming ‘Kiyomaro!’ for example.

‘Kiyomaro!’ likes to say that this kind of thing is ‘amazing’.

Yamanbagiri respects trying. At least someone is. 

At least someone that isn’t naturally like that is. 

And despite what Suishinshi just said he speaks up again in a way that doesn’t sound like he actually planned on anyone ‘not minding’ them. The ‘don’t mind us’ must be just for being polite. It seems very roundabout every time he hears that kind of speech. It’d be easier to get to the point.

“We also noticed this one.” Suishinshi gestures at Izuminokami. “With his ear pressed up against the door listening in.” He shoots a strong look at Izuminokami. “Where is your pride as a Touken Danshi?”

Suishinshi is talking about that pride a lot. He takes it very seriously. It’s not the first time he’s sold someone out for spying on someone. He’s actually a bit infamous for that. Yamanbagiri almost feels like he could count on someone getting him out of getting dragged into spying sessions. At least one someone.

A few someones maybe. Some of the nicer guys here can have their moments here too…

“I see. Thank you Suishinshi-san, I’ll take care of it.” Shokudaikiri shakes his head, bemused. He turns to Izuminokami with his arms still crossed. “Now. Izuminokami-san, I think we’ve had this talk before and here we are. Again.”

Shokudaikiri sounds disappointed, kind of. But mostly like he’s not surprised that he’s having this conversation. Again.

Nikkou Ichimonji has been watching but he’s moving towards them.

Yamanbagiri starts edging his way to the door. This feels like danger and he should at least try and prevent Nansen from being spotted.

Nikkou pushes his glasses up his face. It’s a pretty normal gesture and he’s seen others do it. Yagen does it. Akashi even does it sometimes. But in this case it looks rather ominous. 

“Shokudaikiri-san, if I may, since Izuminokami-san is a repeat offender I think I have a good proposal that may help prevent future incidents. Please leave this in my care this time.”

Yamanbagiri can almost feel the moment Izuminokami sweating because he thinks it was about the same moment Yamanbagiri did as well. He’s not even the one with that hanging over his head.

Suishinshi must be feeling it as well since he starts backing up as well and starts sounding a bit more nervous.

“Ah, thank you Nikkou-san. Shokudaikiri-san. We’re running a bit late so I’ll leave that in your capable hands and we’ll… be taking Yamanbagiri-san. Have a good afternoon!”

Yamanbagiri takes that as his cue and steps around Izuminokami and starts speed walking after the others who have already rushed off, not even closing the door behind them. Nansen’s quiet, nervous meowing isn’t covering up the sound of voices from behind them.

“Now, Izuminokami-san. It just so happens I have the perfect task for you.” No wonder Nansen is nervous. Nikkou really does sound dangerous like that.

“Nikkou-san we really don’t…” Shokudaikiri, being somewhat more sympathetic and much braver than any of them. Braver than him. Tries to say something at least.

“The best way to cut down on this type of behaviour is to give proper consequences when you catch these things happening.”

“Oi! I didn’t do anything and I didn’t agree to anything. It’s my day off and you can’t make me do more chores!” Izuminokami foolishly objects and shows that he is much braver than they are too.

Yamanbagiri rushes down the hall as Nakigitsune passes him a bag that he confirms has the rope in it. He silently wishes Izuminokami survives somewhat intact. He feels a bit bad leaving him like that.

The panicked sounds of someone attempting to stave off the inevitable fade away. 

They need to get to the tree line quickly and then they have to prepare themselves so he tries to push the sounds out of mind. 

Yamanbagiri likes resting. Resting feels good and it’s one of the things that is a bonus of having a human body. There are a few things that are a bonus. Being warm, eating warm things, eating cold things, chocolate, getting to move around, swinging your own blade, and being able to fight.

There’s just as many things, many times more things, that make having a human body a gigantic pain. Including actual pain, aches, feeling nervous, feeling tired, hitting your toes against a wall, jamming a finger in a door, the way your heart speeds up when someone tries to surprise you, emotions, getting nervous, sweat dripping across wounds, getting scared when something is going wrong… A lot of things.

There’s the noise of having so many other guys around that also now have these messy, weird and inefficient bodies.

The other guys themselves could probably be divided between those two categories but it’s kind of hard…

But resting is nice. 

Resting when you don’t have any duties assigned and can stay under your blankets without having to get up is nice.

Resting is extra nice when you had a tough night and your muscles ache everywhere and lifting a blanket feels like a big trial. 

It was more the training itself than the preparing for the training that leaves him just wanting to rest though. Getting things together is pretty tough but somehow their organizer seems to manage it pretty well no matter how much effort the group has to take to convince him to participate. 

Yamanbagiri wonders if he really needs to be convinced every time or if he’s just taking advantage of the fact they’re trying… Or maybe he wants to make sure they’re all still motivated. That second one sounds like him.

But their organizer is probably just talking things out with Master and letting them all think that they’re doing everything in complete secrecy. That is just so unlikely that it doesn’t seem possible. There’s also how they tend to somehow not have duties the day after training sessions. All of them. Once is a random chance. Twice is a coincidence. Many more times than three is Master plotting against you. Or with you in this case. 

But no matter what it was a tough night and he wants to rest.

(They had been set on a difficult and relentless obstacle course where ‘someone’ was attacking you at random intervals. If your run was lucky it was just one of the others and not their organizer himself. No matter how much Yamanbagiri wants to train and get better it doesn’t change the fact that human bodies come with their messy feature of needing energy. Spending all your energy leaves the body useless and you just want to lay on the ground and never get up again. He’s fine with just doing that under his blankets though.)

So, ideally, Yamanbagiri would be resting right now. Under his blankets.

And he is under his blankets. But he’s not resting.

Something isn’t letting him sleep in later. It’s not someone trying to get him up for breakfast. He doesn’t mind skipping breakfast; he has a package of emergency biscuits for exactly and only this kind of thing happening.

He doesn’t have them because Master likes them.

He doesn’t.

But, it’s good to have things that serve more than one backup job. It just makes sense to make sure to pick out that specific kind of biscuit just in case. What if all the packages get used for breading desserts again?

So, it’s not about breakfast. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem currently happening.

“Oi. You awake?”

At this particular time Yamanbagiri would really like to say no to that question. But that would probably give him away. He would like to not be awake though.

“Oi. You awake?”

Despite the fact he hasn’t answered the last five times that was asked or the five times before that the questions keep coming. Yamanbagiri isn’t sure what exactly the invader of his room is expecting.

“Oi.”

And it doesn’t look like they’re giving up.

Yamanbagiri gives up being stealthy and pulls his blanket over his head and tries to ignore the other more actively.

“Ah hah!” The stupid invader claims like some sort of big discovery has happened. “You’re awake Kunihiro’s bro!”

“No. I’m not.” Yamanbagiri responds grumpily as he rolls over and tries to ignore Izuminokami’s room invasion. He only winces lightly when he rolls right over one of his many bruises.

Life doesn’t like being fair, especially to him, so the sweet warm protection of the blanket is cruelly stolen from him. 

Izuminokami is grinning from where he’s standing over him, holding the blanket like the horrible person Yamanbagiri has always known the other to be.

Well… Not horrible. But still. Mean. Awful. Annoying.

Yamanbagiri glares back up at him. Holding the glare in the hopes that the depths of his annoyance gets through to the other. It probably won’t but it's worth a try.

Izuminokami doesn’t stop grinning so he doesn’t think it gets through this time. 

He sighs. And he sits up.

“What is it?”

Still grinning, Izuminokami seats himself down next to Yamanbagiri like he belongs there. Also like he isn’t holding his blanket hostage like a criminal. 

“I know what’s going on with Kunihiro!”

Oh.

That’s… Unexpected.

Partly because he’s not sure why Izuminokami has come to tell him. But also because he was honestly expecting the other to drop it with how it’s been going for him. Or maybe he wasn’t expecting that? Izuminokami is really stubborn. There was that time the other spent a week trying to complete a puzzle Houchou had traded Izuminokami for a couple candies with the claim that it was impossible to do anyways.

Izuminokami did actually complete the puzzle eventually. It’s not the only example of how Izuminokami can be stubborn but it’s pretty memorable if only from how Houchou had spent days complaining and being huffy over how Izuminokami had gotten the candy reward that had been promised to him for solving it. 

Though it might have been more about how Izuminokami had refused to share the candy with Houchou after earning it. Houchou might even still hold that grudge close with how he still refuses to pass Izuminokami salt during meals. Or anything else. 

Yamanbagiri also thinks that Houchou is the one that keeps sorting Izuminokami’s clothes to the bottom of the laundry pile but no one’s actually caught him doing it…

Or it could be that or something else had come up in the meantime and renewed the grudge.

“...That’s good…?” But he’s not really sure it is a good thing that Izuminokami has figured out what Horikawa has been doing in secret. It’s good to leave others to keep what they want secret. Unless it’s something not good. Like a prank. Or some weird plot to sneak into Master’s room to string up decorations. Or it’s making them feel not good. 

Feeling not good isn’t… good though. 

But Horikawa wouldn’t do most of those things. And Master has asked Horikawa not to participate in plots that involve his room anymore so it’s probably fine to leave his brother to it.

And Shokudaikiri said it wasn’t anything bad. Which means it should be fine. It doesn’t involve Shokudaikiri directly so there’s not really that chance of Shokudaikiri being evasive about how he’s feeling either. In cases like that you’re better letting Ookurikara know. Or letting Tsurumaru know so he’ll let Ookurikara know if it sounds right.

Izuminokami nods along proudly, taking the ‘good’ as praise probably. “Exactly! I went and got the information from Akashi and he said that from what he knows…” Izuminokami pauses, staring pointedly at him.

Yamanbagiri stares back.

...Oh. Right. Izuminokami probably wants to make a big reveal and wants to be asked what he found out.

Right.

Yamanbagiri continues to stare back.

“...Er. Any-ways! From what I’ve found out and what Akashi knows: Kunihiro has been gathering up chocolate and cake recipes and the cooking club has agreed to help him produce them later. He’s gathering and making boxes. Getting a supply of coloured paper and ribbons.” Izuminokami lifts a finger with each point he adds. “So! Akashi says the items together sound like a human holiday he heard about from Souza! The stuff you need to participate in it anyways.”

Alright.

Holidays.

Sometimes they did celebrate some of the newer and stranger ones. The holidays that aren’t the ones that make sense at least. Humans celebrate some really strange things. A lot of strange things.

In the citadel they’re usually just celebrating the things that happen in this complex. Everyone is pretty excited for the upcoming new years plans. Aizen might finally get that festival he’s been wanting all along. At least the one planned by them. 

He’s going to probably regret this, but he asks anyways. “Then you’re done? Why are you... Telling me?” If it’s just a holiday thing then presumably Horikawa will eventually tell everyone or it’ll be announced. It’s not weird that Horikawa would want it to be a surprise for everyone. At least it isn’t one of Tsurumaru’s surprises.

At least it isn’t one of Tsurumaru’s more particular surprises. Like the ones he does when he’s bored. Or down. It’s better if it’s one of the ‘surprises’ that happen because he’s bored since the second option isn’t… Well, it’s better to put sugar on your fries and have Tsurumaru just laughing because it’s fun and he needs something to do than because he’s feeling not good.

Feeling not good isn’t good. 

“Well, uh. The thing is Akashi didn’t actually know what holiday it was or if he did know he wasn’t saying it. That Kiyomaro guy was wandering around last night, looking for the guy that never shows his mouth, and kind of distracted me and I lost Akashi.”

Oh. He should warn Suishinshi… Wait. It’s too late. It’s already the next day. Right. Well… at least he thought of warning him…?

He should apologize after how Suishinshi went out of his way to pull him out of that pit he fell into during the course yesterday.

Also for how Suishinshi went out of his way to pull him out of the kitchen incident he got involved in yesterday.

“Okay. But you already have your answer. You know what he’s working on.” At least, he hopes that’s enough despite the warning feeling in his gut that says he should rush off. He could say he heard Master calling or something. 

“Yeah, yeah. I kind of have it. But what I need to know is what holiday surprise Kunihiro has planned and that’s where I need your help Kunihiro’s bro!” He points at Yamanbagiri who immediately wishes he listened to that stupid gut of his that never gives warnings strong enough for him to listen to.

He tries to just answer ‘no’, he really does. Before he can be asked properly and definitely before he asks what he’s needed for exactly.

But Izuminokami leans forward.

“Come on Kunihiro’s bro! Don’t you want to know?”

“Not really.” He doesn’t want to know and he’d really rather wait until Horikawa tells everyone or him directly.

But the other claps his hands together.

“Comeee on! Besides, Souza said if I come near him again when he’s reading after the last time he’d…. Uh. You know what, it doesn’t matter what Souza said he’d do but what does matter is that I need your help!”

This seems like not the best idea.

That’s because this isn’t the best idea.

It’s not even a good idea.

It’s not even…

Ugh… This is tiring. 

He might as well go find Yamabushi and volunteer for the next retreat that he and Juzumaru have planned and then throw himself off the waterfall that they’re planning to either sit under or jump off immediately. It’ll save him from whatever is going on here at least.

And he’s used to the danger of training courses at least. 

He can deal with that danger and trouble.

Yamanbagiri realizes, or maybe he’s known for a while, that he’s not really the best at avoiding things that aren’t the best ideas. Or things that aren’t even a g…

…

He just… things just happen and he ends up involved somehow. 

Somehow.

At least he’s not accidently trapped on a warehouse roof again after just going to retrieve something and then having to overhear….

He shakes his head.

He doesn’t want to think about that.

At least it isn’t that.

“A human holiday then?” Souza is always smiling. Kind of. It’s not really a smile like you might get from Shokudaikiri or Yamabushi or anyone else that smiles because they're nice or they’re feeling things that would make you smile too. Souza only actually smiles for his brothers and when he’s doing something that Hasebe is not currently appreciating. Even then that second situation isn’t quite the same smile he gives in the first one. 

But it’s not dangerous or anything.

To your physical health. 

Souza isn’t the type to just stab you after all. No one in the citadel is really that type. There are a few that will punch though. 

That also doesn’t mean that Souza isn’t also dangerous in many, many other ways. He’s also still dangerous physically if he felt like that. But that’s everyone in the citadel. That last part. They are swords in the end. They’re made to be dangerous.

And sharp.

Or sharp and pointy in some cases.

Izuminokami is standing a bit back so he doesn’t actually get directly involved in the conversation. Probably to avoid looking like he’s actually going to approach while Souza is reading, even if Souza isn’t actually reading right now. Whatever Souza promised to do to Izuminokami must have been something else. 

At least Izuminokami isn’t listening in at the door again. That wouldn’t work as well in the library. He’s close enough that it’s clear he’s involved but it’s also clear he’s trying not to talk.

At least he won’t have to repeat whatever Souza says again. 

“...Yeah. You should probably know what holiday right?” Souza is the one that’s always reading those novels after all. Yamanbagiri had tried reading one once because he’d been curious about what was so… not interesting exactly but what would the word be for it…? 

Souza never looks happy reading his books, he looks disgusted really, but he keeps on reading them. One after another. Yamanbagiri hadn’t understood what was the point of the books at all. It wasn’t instructing anything and it wasn’t telling some sort of interesting story either. The art on the cover hadn’t made sense with the well-built human man that wasn’t wearing a shirt or the human woman leaning against him. (Maybe she had tripped?) There had been a lot of weird long descriptions of things… and a weird scene of someone spilling a drink on the other’s shirt and that somehow ending up with the man buying a bunch of things and dinner?

Yamanbagiri hadn’t found it very interesting and he really wonders what exactly Souza sees in them. He knows there must be something since it’s only Souza’s pestering Master that has led to more and more of these novels appearing. That must mean there’s something right?

Those books do contain a lot of human practises from what he understands so Souza has a lot of knowledge of more modern human things. This kind of makes him a good source of information if you have a question about that kind of thing. 

Souza continues to give that particular smile of his that is definitely promising that both of them, despite only Izuminokami needing the information as unfair as that is, will have to pay for this information later

It’s always like this. He doesn’t mean or want to get involved and then he somehow pre-emptively gets promised to be, or somehow ends up ‘owing’ someone, or just immediately gets involved in something else.

“Well, let’s see the information you have.” Souza counts off the really strange list of things. “Paper. Chocolate. Cakes. Ribbons…” Souza does actually look like he’s thinking things over seriously as well at least. “Many modern human holidays that take place during this time of year involve a lot of gathering their ‘families’ and engaging in various activities. Political games or out right physical contests for things such as status, the best portions at meals and if they can marry themselves to whatever human they’ve picked up off the road during the course of the year.”

That sounds… annoying. And strange.

Izuminokami crosses his arms and taps his foot impatiently but doesn’t say anything. Yet. 

“So… Which one is it?” Yamanbagiri doesn’t so much take mercy on Izuminokami’s growing impatience as much as he tries to hurry things along so this can be solved and he doesn’t have to be involved in this ‘information gathering’ before it escalates even more.

“Hmm.” Souza is humming thoughtfully but Yamanbagiri can’t actually tell if the other means it or is withholding the information for either effect or because he felt like it.

He should have asked Sayo for help and told Izuminokami to wait somewhere else.

Yamanbagiri is fine waiting in silence until the other responds. Izuminokami is waiting, but not in silence but that’s honestly just how the other waits.

“I suppose it isn’t that one where they gather the extended ‘family’ to attempt to hold which members are more successful over the heads of the others as they gather around a large cooked bird.” Souza does look like he actually pauses thoughtfully this time. “Though that large cooked poultry appears more than once in multiple holidays. Sometimes fried.”

“Then which one is it!?” Izuminokami breaks and asks desperately, showing weakness to Souza.

Souza turns his gaze to Izuminokami and tilts his head slightly. Yamanbagiri doesn’t know what is passing through his mind but if it’s left to being just between Izuminokami and Souza he’s perfectly fine with that. Anything is fine.

“Considering the current date, it is most likely the ‘Christmas’ one in particular. Especially if you take in account the materials for what sounds like wrapped gifts. It seems humans cannot decide if it is another repeat of that fall holiday with a gift exchange or one where lovers exchange cakes and gifts.” Souza responds sourly like he’s describing one of his books but he still looks like what he’s saying is interesting to him.

“L-l-lovers? Cakes?” Izuminokami is taken aback but recovers by clearing his throat. “Right! That makes complete sense! All that red paper! The boxes and the cakes! And chocolate!”

Yamanbagiri really wonders what exactly Izuminokami is ‘of course’ing considering that the reason for Souza in the first place is they had no idea what to make of the combination of things.  

“Hmm. Perhaps. It sounds as if there’s quite the large effort into preparing the gifts in secret. You should leave them to it. The date of the holiday is only a few days away. A week exactly.”

It doesn’t even look like Izuminokami is listening anymore as he nods, “Thanks then! I’ll take it from here!” ...and then rushes off.

The ‘I’ll take care of it from here’ doesn’t sound like leaving it to them. 

Yamanbagiri looks at Souza who doesn’t give any real reaction that he can see but that doesn’t mean anything. 

He looks off in the direction that Izuminokami ran off in.

“Thanks then… I’ll…” And he’s going to regret this. He should run off in a different direction now while he can. “...try and stop him then.”

Souza waves.

“Simply tell me how badly you fail to stop him later and I’ll consider us even this time.”

How… Generous…

Yamanbagiri sighs and jogs after Izuminokami hoping he can stop him before the other ruins the uh... holiday his brother is trying to prepare. Whatever that means this time in practise.

But cake sounds nice.

...And chocolate.

It turns out he will indeed have to go find Souza a bit later and tell him how badly he failed to stop Izuminokami.

Maybe if he hadn’t paused and hesitated on following the other he might have managed to stop him before he ran into the room Horikawa was in. Which isn’t Horikawa’s room. 

He would know that.

Izuminokami would know that too considering he shares a room with his brother. 

This room in particular is actually currently empty when the previous occupant moved in with a very… particular individual. They still haven’t stopped talking about it and Yamanbagiri thinks they should really leave it alone. But everyone likes to or thinks they should be getting involved in the ‘Yamanbagiri drama’ as they like to call it when they think he can’t hear them. That’s between his Original and… well. It’s not their business anyways.

Izuminokami is pointing at his brother talking excitedly or maybe proudly about information gathering.

Horikawa is holding a rather large sheet of red paper and scissors in his hand. It looks like there’s a chain of… ‘hearts’ which look nothing like actual hearts.

A vague memory is itching at the edge of his mind.

Horikawa sighs and places down his scissors. 

“Couldn’t you have waited a little longer Kane-san?” He doesn’t sound angry anymore but his brother must have been preparing for Izuminokami to intrude already. And Horikawa is tough on Izuminokami but he’s also really not tough at the same time.

“Can’t you be happy that I figured it out, Kunihiro? Plus, that means you don’t have to hide anything from me anymore.”

“I wouldn’t have to worry about hiding things if you listened when I told you to wait.” Horikawa shakes his head. He looks over at the doorway and shakes his head. “And you dragged my brother into it. Again.”

“I didn’t drag your bro into it Kunihiro, he was happy to help!”

Yamanbagiri frowns.

“He did drag me. And I wasn’t happy.” 

“You’re always missing the point Kunihiro’s bro and it turned out fine.” Izuminokami sighs like he’s the only one making sense. He’s not. Making sense or the only one that’s making sense. 

“Ka-ne-san.” Horikawa scolds the other. “Please stop bullying my brother or I’m going to have to tell Master. Again.” 

Telling Master is a threat. Kind of. Master has some very… unique punishments if it’s not something serious. Also, a different type of unique when it’s something serious. Either way it won’t be fun for you. But it might be fun for others to see.

“Kunihiro you don’t have to go there.” Izuminokami huffs and shakes his head. “Now you’re missing the point too.” He plops himself on to the ground looking around the room excitedly. “We heard all about what kind of holiday it was and it sounded exciting so maybe we could start early? Or we can just try the celebrations with each other? A test run?”

Yamanbagiri can tell when he’s been left out of something despite his work. It’s fine if Izuminokami just wants his present or doing the ‘Christmas’ thing with Horikawa.

But…

Horikawa sighs loudly.

“I guess I need help preparing the decorations and then packing the chocolates once they’re done.”

Izuminokami probably smelling the unplanned work… or maybe hearing it? Starts to lose his enthusiasm. 

“Uh. What about the presents Kunihiro?” 

“You… could consider them presents Kane-san but it’s really about thanking your friends. Here, grab a pair of scissors.” 

Yamanbagiri thinks a bit back, way back, to the previous winter where Master had to prevent one of his well-meaning students from handing out a bunch of chocolate that were decorated with… hearts.

…This…

Izuminokami has moved onto trying to escape helping when Yamanbagiri finally speaks up.

“Brother...What holiday is in a week and on the 25th…?” Yamanbagiri thinks that he knows where this answer might go.

Red paper. Hearts. Chocolate…

Horikawa smiles brightly and claps his hands together.

“Ah! It’s called ‘Valentines’! You’re supposed to give chocolates to your friends to show them appreciation and when I heard about it, I thought it would be good to show everyone some appreciation. I even asked Master for permission and they were fine with it.”

Of course… Master is in on it then.

“Wait. Valentines? Not Christmas? Wait. Never mind. Are there presents or not!?”

“Yes! Everyone is getting the chocolate!” 

Well. Izuminokami should still be happy, he looks happy. Chocolate is pretty rare since Master isn’t letting everyone eat Otegine’s weight in it and is holding onto the supply very tightly and rationing it out carefully.

It sounds like a nice present. 

Chocolate is always a nice present. 

“Everyone’s getting chocolate! Man, I love this holiday! We should do it every year!” Izuminokami willingly picks up his scissors. “So, when do we eat the bird?” Izuminokami is focusing on all the points Souza brought up then? Hopefully he doesn’t ask for the contests for who is the best or who picked off the best guy off the road.

Horikawa tilts his head, confused.

“Wait. What bird? We’re supposed to cook birds? An actual bird and not the birds we have here?”

Izuminokami spreads his arm wide.

“Souza said there’s a bigggg bird that you cook. Or Fry. I don’t know how you pick which one though. I like the sound of fried though?”

“Oh, okay. We can do bird… I’ll have to talk to Shokudaikiri-san again but ah… Chocolate and bird sounds weird but that's normal for human holidays I suppose. What else did Souza mention?”

Izuminokami starts to bounce his knee and excitedly list things.

“Gifts! Food! Gathering of ‘families’. Contests to prove who’s the most successful guy across the year! And who picked up the best guy off the road!”

Horikawa frowns.

“We can’t really bring in animals anymore Kane-san. Master said no more after the Toushirou’s snake got loose.” 

“Uh. Maybe the bird could count then Kunihiro? We’ll just have to make sure it’s a guy. Or Shokudaikiri will before he plucks him. Two birds with one stone and no breaking Master’s animal rule. It doesn’t count if we’re going to eat it.”

Yamanbagiri thinks there is something fundamentally wrong with the logic.

Also, didn’t Izuminokami forget something…?

“What about that thing with the lovers?”

Izuminokami shakes his hands in front of himself, right at Yamanbagiri. Running his hand across his neck. It doesn’t look like he’s choking though.

“Oh. Mikazuki-san mentioned lovers! But there weren’t any lovers to ask and Tsurumaru-san said even loved ones and friends were fine so we dropped it.”

“It was that damn old man, with his Bird accomplice?” Yamanbagiri should have known. “And Master approved it, am I right?” 

“Of course, I wouldn’t try to hold a secret celebration from Master again brother.”

No one ever believes him when it involves Mikazuki. “I warned you to not listen to that old man.”

“Brother, I know that you and Mikazuki-san have a strange friendship but Master approved of it. It’ll be fine. And no matter what Mikazuki-san is still a secretary.”

“We aren’t friends.” Because that’s the most important part. “But that’s the problem. Master approved of it. Don’t you remember when that student brought the chocolates, with a lot of hearts? That was in February. Not December. That's valentines.”

“Chocolates are a good present any time of year Kunihiro’s bro. We should be focusing on the important point. Are we going to go hunt the bird though?”

“Mikazuki-san said the student was just a bit late brother, there isn’t always something wrong with what Mikazuki-san says you know? And we’ll have to get permission for a hunting trip Kane-san.” 

He sighs.

“I’m going to talk to Master.” 

“About the hunt?” Izuminokami perks up.

“About the holiday.” Yamanbagiri can’t believe how much Izuminokami is focused on the food. “The old man lied to Horikawa, making fun of him, I’m going to take care of it.”

He starts to turn out of the room.

“No making fun of happened brother. But if you’re going to talk to Master anyways please ask him for permission for the bird!”

“You’ll see!” Yamanbagiri calls back. Because he is. He won’t let them get away with it. He’s going to be firm. And strong.

Yamanbagiri is cutting hearts.

And Christmas trees.

“What did Master actually say in the end anyways Brother?”

Yamanbagiri wants to ignore Horikawa for a moment. But he doesn’t.

He sighs.

“Master said it doesn’t matter what the holiday is called.” Yamanbagiri quotes back. “What matters is celebrating with friends and having a nice time together.” 

He should have stayed in bed. 

Mikazuki and his Bird accomplice lied to everyone. Master approved.

No one believes him.

Those three are all... So dangerous when they’re working together…

“Doesn't that sound good Brother? You were worried about nothing all along. Master is right! That’s the most important part of all.” Of course, Horikawa would agree.

Izuminokami who is hanging the trains of cut out trees and hearts that don’t look like hearts looks over his shoulder.

“But what about the bird Kunihiro’s bro? You’re missing the most important part. Did you ask him? Did you ask him?” Izuminokami is too excited.

Yamanbagiri lets out an even louder sigh.

…

...

“Yeah. We can go hunt the damn bird.”