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A Bird Like a Bird

Summary:

The usually cheerful and loud Crane of the citadel has quieted down due to recent events and leaves the citadel every morning. Now after peaceful months Tsurumaru has returned to his old habit of trying to surprise people with more harsh pranks. Fortunately, new comrades are quite observant and pick up on the situation quickly.

A piece written for Touken Ranbu Secret Santa 2020! It was my first time participating but I think it turned out great. I wanted to display the variety of what kind of character Tsurumaru can be.

A gift for @ShioriNikki, Merry christmas and happy new year! Hope you like it even if it's late.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

He could already hear Mitsu-bou. ‘Wouldn’t it be better to use up all that energy for training rather?’ Or Hasebe’s and Kasen’s raised voices, to put it mildly. Kara-bou’s… Kara-bou wouldn’t say anything. At maximum he would give a disapproving look, if anything at all.

Master… Master because of their title would have to disagree with Tsurumaru’s pass time but he believes that Master, if they could, they would maybe even lend their hand. They looked like the type that would.

He’s always liked that about Master.

However, right now, he is alone here. Getting his white clothes stained by dirt and mud.

Someone cheeky like Yamanbagiri… the Silver one, would point out that Tsurumaru could get a bit more original with his ideas.

True, this surprise isn’t really a surprise in its nature however the surprising part is where it is rather than what.

But to truly live up to the surprising part, he has an upgrade this time. They can’t say it’s nothing new.

He hasn’t done a surprise of this type in a while… he is getting rusty… but mainly, he didn’t need to. After all, it’s usually coming down to this when he needs to think…

When he worries…

When he needs a distraction…

That would mean lately it was going quite nicely.

Until a few days ago....

He gets torn from his thoughts by an item buried in the dirt.

A bracelet…

A familiar bracelet. If he doesn’t consider the color it looks basically like…

Either way, why would this be here rather? It was quite a walk from here to the citadel. But it wasn’t that far away from the fields, true. Perhaps that is the answer to how it got here. Yet…

More importantly, he needs to do the finishing touches.

 

 

 

Tsurumaru is always impatient when it comes to waiting for his pay out. But he knows every single time it’s worth it. After all, a surprise as such won’t come to be immediately. It wouldn’t be even desirable. It’s better when he hears it randomly when he least expects it. That someone fell into his trap. Better than being seen with a shovel.

As he is returning to the citadel buildings (but not quite) he meets one of the newly arrived Gou brothers. They haven’t had the chance to talk to each other much yet.

“Ah, Samidare, perfect timing.” And a perfect potential victim but for a newbie to fall into his trap sounds quite cruel. At least he will get acquainted with their weird bunch quite quickly? “Will you return this over to your brother? He must have lost it.” He takes out the bracelet and hands it over.

“He certainly must have…”

“It was buried in dirt. It was a complete coincidence that I found it.”

Was… was that a twitch of the other’s eyebrow he saw… but other than that Samidare seems unfazed. Tsurumaru gets measured from head to toe… but the other accepts the accessory nonetheless.

“Kuwana... likes dirt… a lot…” Samidare clears his throat. “One could say it’s his seasonal word.”

Seasonal what? It’s autumn. Nonetheless, Kuwana certainly does like dirt but would he be burying his stuff in it? Tsurumaru knows Kuwana loves to bury people when they don’t behave, he’s experienced it first handedly once, but his own bracelet?

“Well, tell him hi for me.” He internally sighs upon the Kuwana-dirt memory. “Now, I will be on my way.” 

Yet the voice behind him makes him turn towards the other once more. “Tsurumaru Kuninaga-san was it? Your companions expressed their concerns for you. They almost wanted to engage in establishing a search party if they hadn’t been stopped. You should report to them your whereabouts. Onimaru-san is out on an expedition so feel free to return.”

“What…? I… I’m not avoiding returning.” Tsurumaru laughs awkwardly. “So who was it? Mitsu-bou? It was Mitsu-bou who came up with that, right?”

“‘Mitsu-bou’ as Shokudaikiri Mitsutada-san? Yes, he was suggesting the search party but Kashira changed their mind that they should wait a while longer.”

He is making them all concerned like that. “I meant about the silly idea that I don’t want to return because of some members.”

“A certain member.” Samidare corrects.

Some members.” Tsurumaru insists.

“I’m certain Kashira wouldn’t mind addressing an issue if there was a problem with a certain, I mean, some members.”

“No, no, no. No need. Let’s not drag Master into this. Or anyone else. Because it’s not needed… and it’s not an issue to begin with.” He says jokingly. “Either way, Mitsu-bou is exaggerating, don’t listen to him.”

“I didn’t. I just happened to be in the proximity.”

“I wasn’t... implying…?”

Samidare clears his throat once more. “Right. Let’s consider it is just me expressing my thoughts out loud. Perhaps someone could find them useful.”

It certainly was useful. He could have a meal at least. He is starving by now.

Tsurumaru knows that some could have considered it childish avoiding someone… and it’s not like he was avoiding, he just really wasn’t in a mood to return to the citadel… it just so happened that it overlapped with time when Onimaru was there… mysteriously...

He smiles as there is time to digress. “Right… someone could have. Like… like Hasebe! He likes to know about who is out on an expedition.”

“Hasebe was there when they were departing.” The other adds flatly… with a wagging t... tail…?

This Gou certainly is everywhere though.

“Then try Mikazuki, he may not look like it but he likes to know everything as well.”

“Hmm… I see. I will consider it. Expressing my thoughts out loud, that is. Thank you for the tip.”

“Now I will be on my way before Mitsu-bou truly starts to gather a search party. Return that one to Kuwana, will you?”

After a staring at the bracelet and more of the tail wagging Samidare finally answers. “I will return it where it belongs, yes…”

Which most likely meant at a later date since Samidare starts to walk in the opposite direction of where the citadel is. Yet it’s also a different direction than he was originally going.

“Um… the citadel is that way.” Tsurumaru points in the direction of the building.

“I’m certain I’m heading in the right direction, wan.”

That was the flattest ‘wan’ Tsurumaru has ever heard… in a certain way it reminded him of Nansen’s ‘nya’ but other than that he found himself bepuzzled by the latest Gou… again.

 

 

 

 

 

Since he happened to ‘overhear someone speaking out loud his thoughts’ about the citadel being a bit more empty than usual he might as well take advantage of it.

His hunger leads him to the kitchen. If he is planning to continue this remote life he might as well take some supplies. However, regarding this, it’s not like he has any plan whatsoever. But it would be smart. Mainly it would be smart not to act like he was forged in the 19th century.

To his luck, it seems like Kasen, who was in the kitchen, is just leaving. And from the many observation opportunities Tsurumaru has had so far, he can see from his body language that Kasen is furious. However Kasen being furious was quite a normal state for Kasen to be in. 

Interestingly so, Souza that is leisurely following after Kasen looks quite amused. Which is also quite a normal state for Souza to be in when he was making fun of Hasebe.

Just the idea that someone already fell into his freshly dug up hole was bringing a smile to Tsurumaru’s face however he ponders whether he would be so lucky that the hole paid out so quickly.

Even that happens from time to time.

Since it seems the kitchen is clear he takes the opportunity to grab something to eat unseen.

It seems Kasen was in the middle of making onigiri. Perfect timing for Tsurumaru to sneak in and a perfect snack. He could already hear the raised voice of Kasen once he sees that Tsurumaru was eating the onigiri before they were even finished.

As he munches on one of the onigiri and hmms in the process, his hands automatically go for the shelves. Some read during their meals however Tsurumaru just feels up to making a little adjustment. Like swapping salt and sugar kind of adjustment... 

Some may call it uncreative and boring however the joy and beauty in this surprise is how simple yet efficient it is.

And there is always going to be someone that will fall for it as long as one sets it up properly, in irregular times and distracting the victim during the actual moment of truth.

And then the whole citadel has nothing to eat for lunch…

Kasen is always yelling a lot with Hasebe.

Is what he would entertain his thoughts with already however the smile disappears and the munching stops for a second once he sees all sugar is gone…

And it’s even more puzzling that even in storage they seem to have run out of all sugar supplies. They will have to wait for the next restocking. And that isn’t for another two days…

Two whole days without sugar. He feels bad for Mitsu-bou and in general for anyone who loves to bake.

Not his fault this time though. And this would feel like a very weak prank anyway.

He swaps the sugar and salt anyways…

Now they don’t have any salt and they have ‘sugar’. With an empty supply of sugar others will be even more desperate to use the ‘sugar’ because it will be the last ray of hope for the cooking.

As his art is now completed and he takes another onigiri, he ponders whether he shouldn’t help Kasen a bit and add a few onigiri jackpots. With some very interesting fillings. Like a piece of lemon… or with a bit of toothpaste…

Except he realizes just now that the second onigiri he just bit into now has chocolate in it…

Kasen hates chocolate in onigiri. Because Kara-bou likes to use it as a filling. And also because it’s ‘unrefined’ and it ‘goes against all rules of gastronomy’.

And because Kara-bou likes it…

The first onigiri was fine? And when he pokes into one or two other ones those have normal filling as well…

Kasen would never implement a chocolate onigiri jackpot…

There is no one who would be so awful to Kasen and add a chocolate jackpot to his onigiri bunch…

Even Tsurumaru would not dare… lemon and toothpaste, yes but chocolate filling. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

 

 

 

“TSURUMARU KUNINAGA!!!”

Tsurumaru shoves the remains of the onigiri into his mouth to get rid of the evidence.

They take fancy to his full name only on special occasions…

“Y-yes?” Truly furious Kasen. Even more furious than before.

“Not only do you disappear and therefore make the Master worried sick. You also have to dig holes like some animal again. We got used to your holes already however this. Is. PREPOSTEROUS.”

Oh, the hole did pay out already. He knows it will only provoke Kasen more but it brings a smile to his face.

“Holes? Someone is digging holes again?”

Please be it Hasebe who fell in it. It had to be Hasebe. It would explain why Souza was so amused as well.

“Yes! You again! It’s getting quite old!”

“But it still manages to surprise, doesn’t it? And that’s what counts.”

“This is impossible. You are impossible. You say that while you grin like that! You are even proud of it!”

Tsurumaru couldn’t help himself after all.

“Well, maybe a little… um… so, how did you like the upgrade? Who fell in it?”

“Upgrade? UPGRADE? Thanks all the Gods no one did. However now all the animals and even more are swarming our fields. I don’t want to even know what that thing is however I assume that’s where all the sugar went, right?!”

 

“The… what…?”

 

What...?

 

 

 

 

 

And here he thought that things were getting quite stale lately. But surprises do exist.

This wasn’t his dear hole he gave tears, sweat and blood for while he was digging it...

Alright, maybe just the sweat.

This wasn’t even his carefully and thoughtfully picked position.

And this wasn’t his upgrade…

Yet, apparently, this was what he was getting credit for. He probably deserves it given his reputation in the citadel but this time he is innocent.

Well, half innocent since he actually did dig a victimless hole. For now.

He feels both quite pleased and guilty. Pleased since it seems he has a competitor which makes everything way livelier. And guilty since he is getting credit for something he didn’t do.

Credit and blame… so he was ordered to clean it…

He has to admit it was both creative and… messy… he is not certain what the substance in it is, however it’s obvious it’s very sweet. One could tell by the smell… and the number of bugs and ants everywhere…

An ant trap… at this point it’s not about getting all sticky; it’s about getting in an insect trap.

But on the other side it is also tempting all the surrounding wildlife. Tsurumaru found the company endearing but many wouldn’t agree with him.

His cleaning duty and fascination aside, there is someone that has challenged him to an unofficial duel so to speak. Trying to beat him at his own game. Now that was something he couldn’t let go unnoticed.

At first he was thinking it would take him forever to figure out who it was. Initially he wanted to clean the mess and only then get into investigating. However, as he is cleaning the sugary hole full of ants, he notices that nearby on one of the trees was a random wisteria.

There is a wisteria grove at the other side of citadel grounds…

Daring to guess it was a hint and an invitation he sneaks away to find the volunteer that would help him finish the cleaning. It’s worth a try at least.

 

 

 

Not many swords are coming to the wisteria grove. It’s more remote but also more peaceful than other parts of the citadel.

It smells really nice… except for that one stench he is picking up on.

When he looks up into branches, he sees what… and who was the source of the smell diversity.

“Goodness, I could die of boredom...”

There is a sword that arrived not that long ago.

And his yellow kimono is covered in mud, just as his face and hair.

“That would be quite a waste. There won’t be any opportunities to discover surprises if you would die. Besides, of boredom, what a horrible way to die.”

“You speak of death lightly. They say you do.”

“You were the one that said…”

Right… the words that the Monkey spoke and the tone… are a bit familiar? Maybe a bit too much actually.

Tsurumaru smiles. “It’s probably because I have seen a bit of it.”

“‘A symbol of longevity and fortune yet death follows in its wake’.”

Ouch.

 “What can I say, I’m an unfortunate Crane. At least not everyone has that one.”

“True, that’s luck of its own.” Taikou smiles this time. “Now tell me. Were you surprised?”

“Hahaha, that I was. I didn’t expect someone would try to beat me at my own game.”

“Surprises are essential in life. If everything goes according to how it's planned…”

“... the heart will wither away.” They finish both in union.

“It’s honorable to take care of the hearts of others but what about your own.” Taikou rests his chin on his palm, smearing the source of the smell across his face even further.

“So that’s why you’re mimicking me?”

“I say it for the thousandth time, It’s Ya-tsu-shi-ku-ra-be!” Taikou pouts. “Someone has to make sure your heart won’t wither if you can’t do it on your own. I just simply used what I’m unfortunately good at.”

“Oh, the infamous ‘Monkey see, Monkey do’.”

“Thank you so kindly for stating it~.” Taikou says so dryly, lacking excitement completely.

Tsurumaru laughs. “Was it that obvious I was feeling down lately?”

“Quite obvious, others were worried the end of the world is coming since the citadel’s happy bird lost its happiness.”

“Now, now. I don’t think it was that dramatic.”

“Don’t trust a word Kuninaga says, nor his face. He lets things fester just like you, just less obviously.” The Monkey furrows his brows and uses a low tone.

“I see I got sold out.” Tsurumaru sighs with a smile.

“I wouldn’t be very good at what I do if I were caught~.”

Right, it did sound like Kara-bou, true but it seemed like he wasn’t addressing it to Saru-bou. “Figures, Kara-bou rarely talks to others about such things.”

“A good quality.”

“Now Saru-bou, tell me, that mud you have all over your face. Did you by any chance…?”

The other pouts however he can’t hide the smile either. “Inucchi the meanie lured me there! He pretends what a good boy he is but don’t believe him even that his snout is between his eyes! Uki!”

‘Inucchi’? He means Samidare? Tsurumaru didn’t know the latest Gou very well but this is not what he would expect of him.

“Don’t laugh! He’s doing shady stuff in the forest! He is not a good boy at all. Uki!”

“Hahaha, shady stuff? Like what?”

“He digs.”

“So are we.”

“You dig just boring old holes with mud in them. Inucchi is burying stuff in them.”

Oh so this is where the bracelet ‘belonged’? “Now hold on, the mud was an upgrade.”

“But outside of it it's a simple trick as always~.”

“In simplicity is where the beauty lies. At least I haven’t created an ant farm.”

“Uki-ki! Well now… you can’t say it wasn’t original. But I do admit it went a bit out of hand...

“But hiding a random chocolate onigiri in Kasen’s onigiri bunch was a good move. Here I was about to just add some lemon or toothpaste ones but you beat me to that. Kasen hates chocolate onigiri. It so offends him that no lemon could ever beat that.”

“Hahaha. Not that your idea sounds bad but you are right that Kasecchi is a special guest.” Taikou adjusts his position on the branch. “So, Tsurucchi, will you tell me what made you feel so down?”

“You seem quite informed. Don’t tell me you haven’t found out.”

“I know that an Oni is involved. Inucchi and I aren’t on good terms but do you want to find our Momotarou and get to an Oni hunt~?”

“No hunt is needed!”

“Then what happened?”

“Well… let’s say I was looking forward to a reunion with an old friend… we have crossed paths. Here would be for a third time...”

“‘Demons, where are they?’ Instead, your friend doesn’t seem to have much time to focus on things other than demons ever since he acquired a human body?”

“Heh, basically.”

Taikou raises one hand. “You are used to the Grumpy Dragon” Then the other hand. “... and our mysterious Master.” And creates a perfect cacophony of sounds as he presses his muddy hands together. “A mysterious grumpy Oni can’t be such a tough game~.” 

“Somehow Master and Kara-bou are way easier to understand.” What a thing to say.

“Give the Oni time. And if time won’t help, we will find our Momotarou~.”

“Again with the Momotarou?” Tsurumaru puts hands on his hips.

“Don’t worry. As the pheasant replacement you are good enough.”

Tsurumaru bows gracefully. “Oh. I’m honored I'm ‘a good enough’ pheasant. Alright, once the crisis arrives and the need for Momotarou arises I will soar to you so we can assemble our fateful group and venture on our journey.” He straightens up and crosses his arms. “But first: Saru-bou, time to go clean that ant farm.”

At first Taikou claps excitedly but deflates right afterwards with a sigh. He swings down from the tree like the monkey he denies to be. “Alright, but don’t think you can evade the topic so easily. Of course I will help you out. We can't leave the ants defenseless against Hasecchi, however, we have to do something about your Oni situation.”

“Do something? Like what?”

“We can practice.”

“Practice?”

The Monkey covers his right eye with his hand and starts to frown. “I saw, a dream...”

“AND HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME?”

“Look, at least I’m trying to do something about your problem~”

“You have covered the wrong eye…”

“Oh...”

Notes:

Yatsushikurabe - Yatsushi is said to be one of the fundamentals of Japanese aesthetic and a Japanese art expression. The term has a lot of usage and can mean "to deviate from the usual; to make a shabby change in appearance; to disguise oneself; to put on makeup and dress up”. Taikou is using an old term of an impression contest. (Source: Taikou Samonji Wiki page note)

Taikou Samonji is referencing Tsurumaru's and Onimaru's official lines while also quoting a piece of dialogue he heard from other members.
“Goodness, I could die of boredom...” - Tsurumaru's Idle citadel line
"Were you surprised?” - Our dear Tsurumaru Odoroitaka trademark line
“Surprises are essential in life. If everything goes according to how it's planned the heart will wither away.” - Tsurumaru's citadel line
"Demons, where are they?" - Onimaru's opening line
"I saw, a dream...” - Onimaru's loading line

“Don’t trust a word Kuninaga says, nor his face. He lets things fester just like you, just less obviously.” - Non official line quoting a piece of dialogue of this citadel's characters. This line is actually Ookurikara giving sh*t to Mitsutada because he is extremely obvious when something is bothering him but it's very hard to make him admit it.