Chapter Text
If Gakushuu could pinpoint the exact moment his life became a trainwreck it would be the first day he stepped into 3-E’s teacher’s lounge.
“Hello!” A giant yellow octopus in a goofy teacher’s uniform and a large oversized round head clapped his tentacles and rushed over to Gakushuu who had frozen stock still while Mr Karasuma sighed from the doorway. “A new student! How exciting!!”
Gakushuu choked, staring wide-eyed at the creature like he’d been smacked in the face with a wet fish. “A…”
The creature was still talking. “—Now, I know first days can be scary, but don’t worry, you’ll be settled in no time—have you ever fired a gun before?” The octopus was gushing, patting him on the shoulders. “If not that’s fine, you’re a quick learner so if you need any help trying to kill me, don’t be afraid to ask—”
Gakushuu’s eye twitched as everything dawned on him and he realised he was talking and being doted on by a giant octopus and—
“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!” He screamed, making the walls shake and causing the creature to yelp and jump back in alarm.
And that was the moment the last shred of normality in his life disappeared.
Gakushuu sighed when he remembered that moment and then watched Kayano/Yukimura/Mase lose all elements of her sanity and light the field on fire with her tentacles.
Because apparently, through some cosmic joke, it turned out Kayano was secretly Yukimura-sensei’s little sister, as well as a famous actress no one until now had recognised, and also had tentacles.
“…Does anyone remember when we just came to school to get good grades?” he remarked dryly, wondering how everything in this class had to be an escalation.
“Asano! Focus!” Kataoka snapped, looking worried since their deranged fellow student was fighting their current and equally bizarre teacher. “We have to help her!”
With what, a fire extinguisher?!
He’d had a slim hope that maybe his life would return to some sort of middle school normality when he returned to 3-A to assume leadership again since his absence had caused a chasm bigger than the Atlantic ocean. But, even after returning to A-Class, it was like he couldn’t escape the insanity in which was 3-E.
“If we try to fight her we’ll be torn to shreds,” Gakushuu pointed out.
“He’s right, what can we do?” Sugino questioned.
“Koro-sensei said we need to distract her,” Nakamura said.
“With what?! Mimura won’t do air guitar,” Yoshida replied.
“LIKE THAT WAS GONNA WORK!” Mimura snapped.
“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!” Kayano was screaming like a tentacled-banshee.
They quickly stepped further back as she lunged in. “How did she even manage to keep this side of her hidden for months?”
Karma grimaced. “She’s a good actress.”
“If she wasn’t borderline insane right now, I’d be impressed by her manipulation.” Gakushuu looked on grimly.
Her act had been flawless, the best he’d ever seen considering he’d grown up with a Narcissist for ten years. She’d played their weaknesses and judgments perfectly, always remaining under suspicion, which brought into question just how much had been real and how much had been fake.
“…I think I have an idea,” Nagisa said, looking determined.
Gakushuu frowned, watching him warily. “With what exactly?”
The blue-haired boy took a deep breath. “You’ll see.”
Karma raised an eyebrow, exchanging a curious look with Nakamura.
They all jerked back when Kayano screamed and stabbed her tentacles straight into Koro-sensei's heart.
Koro-sensei held her. "I swore to your sister I'd never let any of you go."
Then, Nagisa stepped forward.
“What is he doing?” Kimura questioned.
“Huh?” Gakushuu watched in confusion when Nagisa lunged at Kayano and…kissed her?
Wait, what?
“Why is he kissing her?!” He exclaimed.
“Oh, shit, he’s going in for a hit rate!” Nakamura exclaimed.
“What?!” Gakushuu looked at her in alarm. “What are you talking about?”
She shushed him and took out her phone. “Shut up! This is professional blackmail material right here!”
Karma took a photo. “Gift wrapped with a pretty bow.”
Gakushuu wondered, for what felt like the thousandth or millionth time, how this had become his life.
Nagisa deepened the kiss as Kayano's cheeks turned pink.
Gakushuu’s eyes widened. “What even is this?!”
“Aw! You don’t know?” Bitch-sensei smirked, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, mama can give you lessons.”
He scowled and whacked her hand away. “I will report you to child services!”
God damn predator. How was she even allowed to teach?!
He knew his father’s vetting process was horrendous, but there should at least be a higher standard! Even if she was a honey-pot, it wasn’t an excuse to be a creep! He swore when all this was over he was failing that lawsuit against her.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “You’re no fun!”
Karasuma sighed, pulling her away. “Stop.”
Kayano looked dizzy, collapsing against Nagisa when the kiss hit full critical rate.
"Koro-sensei..." Nagisa gently placed her down on the grass. "Does this work?"
"Full points, Nagisa!" Koro-sensei cried. "Now's my chance!"
Gakushuu watched in amazement as the octopus removed the tentacles cleanly and quickly while Kayano slumped.
"Is she... Is she alright?" Okuda asked hesitantly. "Is this over now?"
"I think so," Koro-sensei answered. "Probably. The important thing is that she gets plenty of rest."
“And is she still going to be murderous?” Gakushuu asked cautiously, looking at the unconscious girl.
“Asano!” Okano chided.
“It’s a valid question,” he replied impatiently.
“She should be fine,” Koro-sensei replied weakly, looking exhausted. “The tentacles were the ones burning up from bloodlust.”
“Speaking of burning…” Gakushuu over at a tree which was still on fire along with a few bushes. “Should we perhaps…call someone?”
No one was listening, too busy congratulating Nagisa on his ‘genius’ solution of calming Kayano down. Karma and Nakamura came up behind Nagisa with demonic smirks on both of their faces.
Nakamura grabbed his shoulder. Nagisa’s face turned pink. "Ooh, now that was a kiss! Look at you, going all 'prince charming'. Way to go, Nagisa," Nakamura said, Karma laughing at the picture he took in the background.
"Don't make it a thing," Nagisa responded shyly, smiling. "I was distracting her from her bloodlust, that's all. I'll apologize to her when she wakes up, so..."
“Aw! Such a gentleman!” Nakamura teased, grinning as she paraded the photo proudly. “Any chance of a second shot?”
“No!” Nagisa shook his head, blushing more.
Gakushuu sighed. “Why does everything have to be perverted with you two?”
Karma grinned and rested his arm on his shoulder. “You’re just jealous because you’re hit rate is weak.”
Gakushuu scowled. “What are you talking about?!”
“Yeah.” Nakamura grinned, resting an arm on his other shoulder. “Have you ever even kissed a girl?”
His cheeks heated up, shoving the two of them away. “That’s none of your business.”
Him having never kissed anyone was completely irrelevant. He scowled, touching his mouth. Why was kissing someone a big deal anyway in this class? They were all perverted.
Bitch-sensei moved across and lifted up Nagisa’s chin. “Fifteen hits on a ten-second kiss is nothing to ride home about, honey. I'm disappointed."
"Fifteen hits?"
"If you're gonna kiss, get in there like there's no tomorrow, go big or go home! You could've pulled up a minimum of forty hits."
FORTY?
Gakushuu nearly choked, blushing slightly when he saw the others agree.
"Huh," Maehara said, overhearing their conversation. "My upper limit's around twenty-five."
Okajima nodded. "Mm, hm."
In the background, Kataoka was calm but had her eyes closed and tears running down her cheeks. "Why do you guys make me wanna hate this place? It's a red-letter day if I get to twenty!"
Even Kataoka had a hit rate?
He stared at his former classmates in alarm. Just how much time did they spend kissing? Was that normal?! Was this something he was supposed to just know?! He made a mental note to ask Ren about it later.
Suddenly, Koro-sensei coughed up more mucus.
"Koro-sensei!" Class E exclaimed.
"I'm all right!" Koro-sensei coughed up blood. "My heart just needs a while to regenerate!" His voice sounded rough."No doubt you have plenty you want to ask me, but I'll have to ask you to wait a bit longer."
Gakushuu frowned, watching the teacher warily. It was strange to see him so vulnerable, even when the Reaper had locked them up or no matter how bad things may have seemed when the Principal threatened to fire him. The teacher had never seemed weak.
He grimaced, not sure how to feel since this was the type of position they’d all wanted him to be in, but at the same time, none of them took the opportunity to attack.
The class all stayed silent as they watched him shake, until a bullet rang through the air. The bullet missed, and everyone turned to the source.
Shiro stood at the top of the hill, next to a figure dressed all in black and holding a sniper.
"Don't get carried away drawing us in by playing dead," Shiro said coldly. "You clearly have a long way to go before you kick the bucket." The rest of the class looked up at him in shock. "What a useless girl. If she was planning to put her life on the line for her revenge, you'd think she'd wait for a better time to act."
"Shiro!" Itona exclaimed, stepping back.
Gakushuu grimaced, hesitantly touching the boy’s arm when his shoulder shook briefly.
Shiro reached to his face and threw some kind of eye patch on the ground. "I am the last one. You took everything from me." His voice was harsh. "And so you will receive your just desserts."
Shiro's expression was cold when his face was revealed, his remaining intact like a thin slit-like a snake, while his other eye looked robotic.
“Yo, dude, he’s a cyborg?” Maehara whispered.
Gakushuu looked up in shock. “Apparently.”
Mutated octopuses, homicidal actresses, and now cyborgs. He sighed and clutched his head, feeling exhausted trying to keep up with the madness like his life had become a series of plot-twists with no logical coherence.
Koro-sensei breathed heavily. "So it is you... I thought I recognized that twisted genius." He then directed his words to his class. "This, boys and girls, is Yanagisawa."
Yanagisawa? Who was that supposed to…
His mind wandered to Ms Yukimura again, in the school records it was listed her second job had been for a laboratory owned by the Yanagisawa family, but nothing else much besides that.
"Time to go, number two." Shiro steered the intimidating figure in black away from the scene. "When March comes, let us give him the perfect death for his accursed life."
Gakushuu looked over at Itona who was still tense, letting go of his arm. “Is everything alright?”
Itona’s lips were down in a scowl, keeping his gaze on Shiro’s retreating form. “…Yeah.”
He hummed, not convinced, but knowing pushing wouldn’t help. Itona was a reserved person, prodding things like this would just make things worse; he might be more amenable if he made them some soup. Itona liked the chicken and mushroom blend he’d made last time.
"What's with that guy?" Fuwa said.
She wasn't answered before Kayano stirred and everyone's attention turned to her.
"What happened?" Kayano asked, her golden eyes looking up with exhaustion.
Koro-sensei sighed in relief. "Kayano. Thank goodness."
"Are you, uh... Are you okay?" Nagisa asked.
Kayano stared at him for a moment before looking away, blushing hard. "Mm-hm."
"So you're back?" Okano asked her.
Everyone gathered around as tears started to glisten in her eyes, looking ashamed. “I’m sorry!” She rushed to explain her action, describing the tentacle’s bloodlust and how they’d taken control.
“Wait, just how sentient are those things?” Gakushuu frowned, seeing Itona grimace from the corner of his eyes.
“They’re single-minded,” Itona murmured, narrowing his eyes while Kayano kept talking. “They ask you a question about what you want and then everything about them shapes around it. They won’t stop until they’ve finished what they started.”
“I see…” Gakushuu tried to imagine it, watching Kayano warily. “So it’s obsession then?”
Itona nodded. “Yeah, it can get like that.”
He hummed, looking over at his old teacher.
Then what question did Koro-sensei ask?
Koro-sensei made him tense when he started coughing softly again, trying to smother it with his tie.
"Koro-sensei," Isogai was speaking. "Kayano sure didn't spare any effort in trying to kill you." The rest of the class turned to him. "This was an assassination that took a lot more than your run-of-the-mill courage and determination."
"So there's some connection between...this assassination, your past, Ms Yukimura, and us too, but what?" Isogai continued. "Please tell us. No matter how bad your past is, as long as it's the truth we can accept it."
All of them stood in silence as the wind whipped against the grass and sent a chill through each one of them.
Then Koro-sensei took a deep breath and lifted his gaze to look at them, standing weakly to his feet.
"Very well..." he said, addressing them all. "Thank you. I'd hoped to never revisit this chapter of my life... and yet, I have little choice. Your trust is vital to me. I would never do anything to break it.” He sighed. “No matter our differences our bond is through assassination, it’s special and is what brought us all together.” He patted Gakushuu on the head, making him scowl. “And still keeps us together,” he said warmly, causing him to grow embarrassed. “I never want to jeopardise that.”
Gakushuu frowned when he was the remorseful look on the teacher’s face. “If we still trust you enough even if you’re going to destroy the earth, then you should give us more credit and tell us the truth.”
“Exactly,” Karma said, looking oddly serious. “Just tell us, we can handle it.”
Koro-sensei still hesitated, sighing. "Last summer, on the island, Mr Karasuma said to Miss Irina, if you recall, 'There's a lot more to a good assassin than meets the eye.' Those words are especially relevant here. You see, children, this class represents my first go as a teacher, but all things considered, I think it's fair to assert I've more than risen to the challenge. After all, I am a gifted improviser!"
Gakushuu frowned when his classmates gasped.
What was that meant to mean?
He looked at Itona for a clue but the boy’s brow was furrowed like he was thinking about something carefully.
Takebayashi pushed up his glasses, seeming to understand like the others. "Then... you mean..."
"Yes," Koro-sensei answered before he finished. "Until two years ago, I was the assassin known as the Reaper."
Gakushuu’s eyes widened, his memories flashing the scarred and faceless killer from months ago. A copy of an original renowned for coldness and enough blood on his hands to drown in. Making the bond they shared suddenly seem a lot more complicated.