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The birds outside his window woke him up.
It was strange, being woken up by a cheerful song, instead of screeching winds, and feeling the warm weather of Asgard instead of his realm's icy snow.
Loki lay in the bed they had prepared for him for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of soft silky sheets and toasty warmth.
It felt like a dream, still.
It had been several weeks since he had been saved from a bloody demise by Asgard's prince, and he was not sure if this was all a hallucination in the last moments of his life or if he actually owned a colt now. He preferred the latter.
Asgard was truly different from his realm, with sun-kissed men and golden haired maidens, filled with fruits and juicy meat and abundance. Loki never wanted to leave, but he lived in constant fear of being discovered and taken away, or punished for forgetting his duties.
It was that sobering thought that got him out of bed.
Loki had been appointed as Thor's valet, which apparently granted him permission to stay at the palace–at the palace!–and receive education just as Thor did. He could eat from the food he ate, and was given clothing and a chamber for his own. Loki was almost dizzy with all that generosity. He never had that much stuff in his old 'room', which was more like an empty chamber with a frozen block of ice that served as a bed. So he was determined to make this work. He could not afford to mess up and be kicked out to Jötunheim once more. If that came to be the case, he would certainly not survive a second time.
Loki massaged the scar in his stomach absently as he prepared his bath, looking at Asgard's breathtaking morning. It would be brighter later, when the sun went out all the way, but just now, the sky was just right for him to see comfortably without having to squint. As he undressed, locking the bathroom door for safety, he took a moment to gaze upon the form the Queen had gifted him with. It was really strange, and he still was not used to it, but the pale skin and sparkling green eyes suited him well in a way he could not describe. Like it was meant to be this way.
And, it saved him the danger of showing his true form.
Loki bathed quickly and dressed in his black and green robes, fastening his boots and slipping his daggers under his sleeves. They had been Thor's idea. Loki had been embarrassed to admit that he was infinitely terrified of anyone who was not Thor, but his brother had been quick to reassure him and snatched some daggers for him, small and easy to hide, to make him feel more safe. Loki appreciated it, really, and even if he was not sure he could win in a fight with anyone, at least he could defend himself while he escaped.
Loki opened his wooden door with a creak, peeking out into the corridor. It was still very early, so the hallways were coated in a soft light, and shadows reigned over the polished floor, making it easy for him to cast a quick spell and melt into their inky blackness, traveling through them to avoid being seen or approached by anyone, and allowing him to reach Thor's room faster. The palace was quite empty at this time, but Loki had made the mistake of walking normally to the prince's room once, and had encountered one of the cooks just around the corner. It had scared him so badly he could not answer to the woman's greetings and he had fled with wobbly legs. Apparently, that situation had led the cook to whisper gossip around the kitchens, that the new prince's valet was very shy, and Loki had worried he had disrespected her somehow, but the other women had cooed and giggled, and he did not know what that meant, but the punishment did not come, so he supposed that was a good sign.
The boy reached the door, at last, and took a moment to appreciate the intricate designs of the wood and the little jewels incorporated in the door's carvings. Thor's door, and whole room was great in riches, because he was the prince, overshadowed only by his parents' chambers. Loki still could not believe someone that belonged to royalty had put their eye on him of all people, but somehow Thor had seen Loki, had helped him and had even adopted him, a frost giant, as his brother. He had saved his life, and even though they had their differences, Loki could safely say the big oaf was his favorite person.
Not that he would ever say that out loud.
And not that he had other people for him to contend with.
Whatever.
In summary, Thor meant a great deal to Loki, and he was not sure he could ever be able to repay him for his deeds, but at least he could help Thor have a bright future, preparing him and accompanying him through it all, as his valet.
....That did not mean he would coddle him, though.
Loki slammed the door open without care and, with a twist of magic, opened the heavy velvet curtains to let the light in.
Thor was a bundle of blankets in his bed, barely visible between the pillows. He let out a faint groan. Loki shut the door and walked over to his bed, placing his small hands on the moving bump that was Thor.
"Wake up, Thor" he said, plainly.
He could be his valet, and he would address him as royalty once they left the chambers, but here, with just the two of them, there would be no 'my prince' and 'it is time to rise'. Loki was Loki, through and through. He would not change himself. He had been royalty too, he knew how things worked. Thor had treated him like an equal, so Loki always did and always would do the same with him.
He had the impression Thor liked it better that way.
When his brother failed to move, Loki sniffed and took the corners of the sheets without preamble, yanking them to the side and leaving Thor to wiggle in the cold morning air.
This was always his favorite part.
Thor sputtered and curled in a tight ball, pressing his eyes shut and trying, in vain, to keep the warmth the covers had provided, determined to ignore his duties for just five more minutes. Loki just waited patiently for his fit of crankiness to subside. Thor was always cranky when he first woke up. Meanwhile, the valet busied himself folding the sheets with magic and putting them at the foot of the bed. Then he picked some clothes for the day (Thor had horrible fashion sense) and prepared his bath, making sure the water was not too cold or too hot. His responsibilities as a valet included helping Thor in everything he needed, assist him with daily activities, and basically stick to him like honey throughout the day. Loki did not particularly like being at Thor's beck and call, but he was never demanding and Loki could not complain if he wanted to live.
As he finished putting in the aromatic oils, he heard a pair of feet approaching from behind.
"Hello, princess" he said.
"Do not call me that" Thor yawned, rubbing his eyes.
"I will stop once you wake up earlier than me" he put his hands on his hips.
"That is impossible"
"Then there you go"
Thor smiled, starting to get undressed.
"How was your night, brother?"
"Heavenly, in that bed"
"No nightmares this time?" he got in the water.
"None" Just snippets of fear and blood and noise. But Thor did not need to know that. After all, they were subsiding, and Thor was no longer in them.
The oaf smiled as if he had told him he won a thousand riches, and Loki turned around to get the lavender soap to hide his own grin. Then, he proceeded to wait until Thor finished his bath, helping when he could not reach his back to scrub it. And just because he could, he tickled Thor until he was gasping for air and had swallowed a concerning amount of water. Thor splashed Loki in retaliation, and the frost giant had to stop himself from playing along, if only to speed things up before they escalated to a full water battle.
After Thor had dressed and brushed his hair, they exited the room, and took off to the kitchens, to get their morning meal. Thor guided them through the least crowded hallways, now being filled with steadily rising people, while Loki listed off the things he had to do for today in a low voice. Those things included accompanying the king to a meeting, attending to his studies, going to training, and many more, with a few spaces in between to rest and play. Thor sighed dramatically and complained about his 'busy' day, but a jab in the ribs from Loki's elbow shut him up.
"And I shall be with you all day, so do not even think about escaping" he threatened.
"I make no promises" Thor muttered, expression going sour at the reminder of Loki's position.
Thor had not liked the king and queen's solution to his dilemma, arguing that Loki was his friend and he would not have him as a slave, but it was the only way Loki could stay on Asgard undetected without suspicion. Plus, to avoid Thor angering his parents, Loki had reasoned with him, telling him that more than a servant, a valet was basically a glorified assistant, and Thor had relented at last, only agreeing when his parents assured him Loki would have every and all amenities at his leisure. Loki himself was just glad he got to stay alive.
The two of them finally reached the great room where the royal family ate, and Loki, upon spotting the king and queen at the table, tried–and failed–to relax at least a little.
Do not get him wrong, Frigga was a decent woman. She was soft and kind and her Seidr was strong. She never raised her voice at him or Thor, but Loki knew she did not need to. All she had to do to shut someone up was look at them, and they fell silent under the pressure of her stare. Queen, indeed.
And she had taken care of him, too. She let him stay, even though she knew what he was. She did not seem repulsed or angered when she looked at him.
It was strange.
And Odin...Loki suppressed a shiver. With Frigga, he at least knew what to expect. She did not hurt him, but perhaps she would once he messed up somehow, so he tried to behave with her. That is how his mother was, after all. But with Odin....
He was unpredictable.
He was silent, yet his presence was loud. He was the most powerful being in all the nine realms, even more than his father, which was a terrifying thought. His one eye scrutinized everything and saw all. When he looked at him, Loki felt smaller than a fly. When he raised his hand, Loki made himself small just in case. When he spoke, Loki prayed he would not mention him.
He was a volcano waiting to erupt. And Loki hated it.
"Oh, good! We have not missed them! Come, brother" Thor whispered, and Loki eyed him discreetly.
Well, he did not trust Thor's parents, but Thor loved them, and he was not going to take that away from him just because he was a bit jumpy. He saw them too little already.
"My son, Loki, hello" Frigga greeted, her smile lighting up the room. Odin grunted and tilted his head, and Thor gave each of them a hug before sitting as his table. Loki approached what was strictly necessary and bowed dutifully to both of them, ignoring the queen's offered hand. He knew they expected him to greet them too, but he could not speak.
He was never allowed to speak unless spoken to.
Then he walked over to Thor's seat and placed himself behind him, hands behind his back, ready to get whatever he asked. Thor twisted his head back to look at him, half a boar leg already in his mouth, and frowned, patting his hand against the table in a silent suggestion. Loki ignored it. He was not a member of the royal family. He could not eat at the table. Thor frowned deeper and deflated. The king and queen shared a look. Loki tensed.
He hoped he was not angering them by not sitting down.
Where they bothered by his presence? He could leave.
But then again, he was required to stay at Thor's side without excuse.
Oh, Norns, the patting at the table was not a suggestion, was it?
It was an order, and Loki just ignored it! That is why they were looking at him like that!
"Loki" He jumped.
"Y-yes my queen?" he asked as firmly as he could manage.
There it was. The punishment. What would it be? A hundred possibilities ran through the child's head.
He hoped it was not the whip.
Oh, he really hoped it was not the whip. He needed to be able to walk for his duties.
"Come sit at the table with us, please"
Loki's fingers stopped dancing at the hem of his tunic. What? The queen looked at him expectantly. Thor made a little happy noise around his mouthful of meat and used his seidr to pull the chair back. He was getting better at moving things. Loki let go of his tunic slowly. He had been so ready to pull it up and turn around, on his knees, like he was taught to, but they wanted him to...sit with them?
Loki stared at Thor to confirm that this was not a jest. Thor sniffed and took his wrist, dragging him into the chair.
So now he was having breakfast with the royal family.
....
Was this a test?
Loki stared at the forks and spoons, and the empty plate, waiting to be filled with the mountains of food in front of them. Oh. Loki understood at last. This was a test, to see how he fared with silverware. Of course, he was a frost giant, and they were thought to be brutes and uncivilized. Alright, Loki would show them he could be polite and worthy of being Thor's valet.
Taking a fork as smoothly as he could, he started to eat.
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After that horribly tense breakfast, (Loki thought he had done alright, no one had thrown a plate at him, at least) Loki and Thor went to the training grounds, where Thor would study the art of swordsmanship with his teacher and Loki would work on his Seidr, per his request.
Loki still could not believe he would be able to study Seidr freely, without having to hide or pretend, and that he would actually have a teacher who would guide him through the process–not that he needed help. It did attract a few cross stares though, when he said he preferred Seidr arts over swords, but before they could say anything Thor had immediately supported his decision and the queen had appointed a man named Runar to teach him.
The boy knew that, as Thor's valet, he was expected to defend him against any and all threats, so he would have to be strong and know how to manage himself with a spear or other weapons. But he thought Thor was perfectly capable of defending himself, if the scary pace he was improving at was any indicator, and magic was a valuable asset to have in a fight as well.
Thor had been eyeing him all the way to the grounds, though, and Loki was getting annoyed.
"What is it?" he hissed. He was lucky there were no people around.
Thor startled, as if he had not notice his staring. That oaf.
"I...Did you truly enjoy breakfast, Loki?" Thor went straight to the point.
"Well, yes, I think I did rather well, did I not?" he was confused. What had brought this up?
"I did not ask you how you had done. I asked if you enjoyed it" The taller sighed as if he was a particularly annoying child. Loki twitched.
"The food was good"
"Loki..."
"I answered your question"
"Fine, then let me rephrase. Did you enjoy eating in mother and father's company?" Darn prince. He had been getting better at obtaining information without any loopholes. Now Loki regretted teaching him that.
"...It was pleasing" he said through his teeth. They were almost there, just a little more...
...Thor grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to halt his steps. Loki buried the urge to shrug out of his hold.
"Do not lie to me, brother" the blonde began in a soft voice "You have been as tense as can be since breakfast. Did they upset you somehow? Is there anything I can do?"
Stupid Thor. Stupid, pampered prince, with his arrogant stance and concerned words.
Stupid enough, kind enough, to go save him in the middle of a war.
Loki sighed. He owed him this, at least. If they would have his head for treason, at least he could die being honest for once in his short life.
"I hated it, alright? I hated eating with them. I hated how your mother kept looking at me, and how your father was in the room" he stressed the last word. He truly could not relax with Odin there.
"Why does it upset you so? I was staring at you, too"
"Yes, but I know you would not hurt me. I know how you think, and you were only looking out for me" Loki smirked. "Annoying, but not frightening"
"Mother would not hurt you either!" Thor's words were tinted with complete certainty.
"I do not know that. I also do not know how she thinks. Adults...are unpredictable" he took a deep breath.
"Her constant looks...they made me feel like I did something wrong without knowing. And I hated it"
Thor looked like he was thinking pretty hard.
"So...you do not like being looked at?"
Loki shrugged "It is fine if it is you, or even other children. But not adults. If an adult looks at you, you are in trouble"
It was one of the earliest rules he had learned in life. Unseen was safe, ignored was good. As soon as someone else's eyes landed on you, there were consequences.
Thor looked vaguely ill, but his face quickly morphed into one of determination.
"I understand. I will tell mother so she stops doing it"
"No! No, it is fine, I do not want to bother her–" Complaining of such trivial matters? He, a frost giant runt, demanding something as unimportant of the queen, only for his own comfort? She was the All-Mother, she could look at who she liked.
"It is no bother. We want to make you feel as comfortable here as possible, and if being looked at makes you nervous, then I will ask them to stop"
"You should not"
"But I shall, anyway" Thor looked towards the gardens deliberately and Loki could not help the rush of warmth the action brought to his chest. That dumb oaf. He told him it was fine.
The smaller boy shook his head fondly and took Thor's hand, quickening their pace until they reached the training grounds. It would not do for them to be late.
And all throughout the following time, Loki watched and learned, and tried to relax, to no avail. But he found that he did not mind following Thor around as much, and the sun of Asgard did not burn so badly anymore. The gossips of the maids started sounding more like mindless chatter instead of whispered threats, and Loki was able to start verbally responding to basic questions.
At night, when Thor snuck into his room and under his covers, telling him stories about the stars or the sea, Loki snuggled closer, relishing in the peace he felt in his presence.
It was like a bubble of safety. Their little safe haven.
And as he drifted to sleep, hearing Thor's soft snoring at his side, he thought that perhaps someday, Asgard could be home.