Chapter Text
31 October 2020
The first thing Rin thought when he reached the bridge was that the night was too cold for the last day of October.
He hadn't noticed it while he was walking the sheltered, narrow streets. Perhaps he was too focused on his destination to even register what happened around him.
But now he was in the open, and the rain soaking his jacket didn't help to make his walk any more pleasant, either.
He blew hot air on his hands to keep them warm but immediately realised how stupid that was. Soon he wouldn't be bothered by the freezing wind that made his fingers numb and tussled his hair.
Soon, he wouldn't have to worry about anything.
The words 'It's a good day to die' came to his mind. He was sure he had heard them somewhere, maybe in a movie, but he couldn't recall which one.
Were they true, though? Did the starless night and the crying sky mean that it was a good day for his life to end?
Would he feel any different if there were no clouds and the birds were singing and the sun was kissing his skin?
Probably not.
He grasped the iron railing and looked down.
The murky river running under the bridge was mesmerising, as if the dark waters were calling for his aching soul.
Rin didn't want to make them wait.
He took a last look at the full moon and took a deep breath, the cold air hurting his lungs.
Then, very slowly, he climbed over the railing. The emptiness extending in front of him felt overwhelming.
This was it.
He didn't even need to jump. Just leaning forward would be enough.
He had read somewhere that when a person jumps from a very high spot, they are usually dead before hitting the floor. Was the bridge tall enough for that to happen? He doubted so.
He wondered how long it would take him to hit the water, and if it would hurt.
An unwelcomed thought entered his mind when least expected: when his body was found, Gou would probably want to know if he had suffered.
He could picture her pestering police officers and medical examiners with tears in her eyes, hoping that they could give her some peace of mind.
He swallowed the big lump in his throat.
He knew it would take her some time, but she would end up understanding that it was for the best.
With him gone, people would have one less reason to ostracise his family.
In a small ultra-conservative village like theirs, being a homosexual was nothing short of a sin.
Rin would never be "forgiven". Never accepted.
Add that to the untrue rumours of his mother selling her body and engaging in every kind of indecent activities, even with married men, and you had a perfect recipe for social exclusion.
Rin knew that, and his mother did too. He would never forget the sadness in her eyes when he came out to her. Her disappointed, resigned sigh.
She hadn't said anything, but Rin knew he had screwed up.
At least he hadn't been stupid enough to tell Gou, too. He knew that he was like a hero for her, and he wouldn't have been able to stand it if she ended up hating him.
He had wanted to tell her, but what good would knowing such a thing do to her? He imagined her accusatory stare, her mouth twisted in anger, shouting at him that he had ruined the little respect that some villagers might still have for the family.
Surely, she would end up finding out anyway, but he hoped she might be more forgiving if she could see that he was trying to fix things for them.
That's what had pushed him to decide to end his own life. He didn't want his sexuality to become a new burden to the family, and he couldn't see any other way out.
He could have just run away, but he felt that wasn't enough. He had nowhere to go, and even if he did, he wouldn't be able to leave self-loathing behind.
He despised himself. He hated the fact that the way he was had hurt his family, as if they were not already shattered enough. He was ashamed of desiring other men.
He didn't want to spend his life feeling like that.
This was the only way. He had to do it.
Far away, he could see the lights of the growing traffic. People were coming back home after work. Soon the bridge would be packed with cars.
He knew he had to jump now, and yet, when he looked at the black waters several metres under his feet, he felt his determination falter.
It probably would be easier if he turned around and just leaned back to let gravity do its job.
Trying not to look down again, he took baby steps to change his position and face the railing, and then took a deep breath while he steadied himself.
He glanced up one more time. A shy, distant star seemed to be trying its best to shine through the dark clouds, as if it wanted to make Rin feel less lonely in his final minutes. The night sky would be the last thing he would see, and in spite of the gloomy weather, he couldn't help but smile.
'It's beautiful,' he thought.
And then, he let himself fall.
.
.
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Sousuke Yamazaki had never been a lucky man. Fate seemed to hold some kind of cosmic grudge against him, perhaps because of something he had done in a previous life, and never in his life had he been able to get any of the things he wanted, no matter how hard he worked for them, or how much he thought he deserved them.
He had started to notice this trend when he was just a kid, in trivial things. If he found a new snack he loved, it would soon be taken off the market for some stupid reason. If he liked a girl in his class, she would always choose a jerky classmate. If he had only had the time to study the first five lessons in his textbook for a test, the exam would be about lesson 6. If there was just one restaurant in the whole street seriously damaged by some typhoon, it was his family's shop.
Things only got worse as he grew old. The spell of bad luck in his teenage years started when his shoulder injury cut short his dream of being a professional swimmer, and everything had gone downhills from there —had it ever gone differently for him?
When he managed to find a job after dropping school after several failed attempts, the repair shop that had hired him soon went out of business.
When he joined a gang in the hope of making some easy money, he was the only one who was arrested in a police raid —a crappy one, not even a spectacular chase around the city— and now his criminal record had only made things worse.
It was no wonder that he found himself jobless, homeless and hopeless, wandering around the country while he tried to figure out what to do with his life.
Everything he attempted to do, no matter if it was something important or something menial, went awry one way or another.
'Murphy's Law' should probably be renamed 'Sousuke's Law.' His life had been constant evidence of the 'Anything that can go wrong will go wrong' adage.
Of course, that night was not an exception. For the last days, when the autumn weather had been pleasantly cool and the rain had been nothing but fine drizzle, he had been staying at a cosy inn in a nearby village.
And just tonight, when he had had to flee before the owners realised he had no money to pay his bill, it seemed as if fucking winter had just decided to make a surprise appearance.
He shivered under his old jacket and cursed himself for the umpteenth time for leaving the last coffee shop he had been in without taking one of the many umbrellas that more far-seeing customers had left by the door.
To make matters even worse, he was completely lost, which was not surprising considering he had little sense of direction. And was it not unfortunate that he had ended up in the middle of nowhere, with no shelter in sight, and next to a damn river when it was pouring?
He looked around, feeling helpless. There was a bridge on his right. He wondered if it would have a sidewalk or if it would be just for vehicles.
If he could cross to the other side of the river, he might be able to find some dry place to wait for the rain to die down.
Or maybe he could thumb a lift to the next city, although, with his luck, he would probably be picked up by a psycho killer.
He followed the course of the river, wondering if there would be some path that could take him to the damn bridge. Its surroundings were quite dark, but the structure was well-illuminated.
He had almost reached the abutment when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something moving near the railing.
Paying more attention, he saw that it was a person. At first, he felt relieved when he understood that their presence meant the bridge had a sidewalk and it was safe to cross it, but soon his content turned into panic when he realised that the person was on the wrong side of the railing.
Realisation dawned on him: someone was about to kill themselves in front of him.
'No, no, no, no, no, no, please, no,' he begged inside his head. He looked around frantically, searching for a group of stairs or some other way to get to the deck.
No matter what most people seemed to think about him, Sousuke was not an insensitive jerk. Surely, he had made bad choices in his life and he was paying the price for it, but that didn't mean he could just sit around and see someone jump from a fucking bridge without batting an eyelash.
"Heeeey!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, even though he suspected that the wind and the rain would make it impossible for his voice to reach the person.
In the distance, he could see the headlights of approaching vehicles. Would they get to the bridge in time?
Whoever was on the bridge moved and Sousuke's heart almost stopped, but they seemed to be turning around.
Perhaps they had changed their mind after all, and they wanted to get on the safe side of the railing again.
Relief washed over him, but the feeling only lasted for a few second, until he noticed that they were making no attempt at climbing over the railing.
"Don't do it!!" he shouted again as loud as he could, his throat aching because of the strain.
It was useless.
His unheard yell turned into a shriek of terror when the person fell.
.
.
.
Rin knew that he had made a mistake the second he felt the pull of gravity claiming his body. In a fraction of a second, he saw in his mind Gou's pain-stricken face and Miyako's tears when they were told that he had died. How could he do that to them?
He also saw his future self smiling, holding hands with a faceless man. The sudden certainty that a better life would have been possible if he had given himself the chance felt like a stab to his heart.
Driven by regret, he made wild gesticulations with his numb arms, desperately trying to launch himself forward and grasp the railing, but it was too late.
He was falling, his body jerked by the merciless wind, spinning out of control like a leaf caught in a tornado.
He heard a shriek. Was he screaming? He didn't know.
Even though he was feeling dizzy, he tried to focus. If he managed to enter the water in a convenient position, he might be able to swim and get out of the river —he had always been a great swimmer, after all. As long as the river was deep enough, of course.
What if the bottom was closer to the surface than he expected?
What if he hit the water headfirst?
What if h-
He couldn't ponder over it any longer.
He crashed into the freezing water, and the last thing his brain registered was excruciating pain.
Then, he felt no more.
.
.
.
Sousuke watched the body hitting the river and, for several seconds, he felt paralyzed. The sound it made when it broke the water's surface made him feel sick.
Was there any chance that the person was still alive?
The thought that perhaps they had survived made him spring into action.
He took off his shoes as fast as he could and got in the water, immediately feeling the bite of the cold in his limbs.
He could take several steps, thinking that probably meant the river was not too deep, until the riverbed disappeared abruptly under his feet.
He took a deep breath to fill his lungs with as much air as possible and submerged himself into the murky water.
It was difficult to see what was around him and the dirt made it painful for Sousuke to keep his eyes open.
He swam blind, groping for the person in the darkness that surrounded him and opening his eyes only when he touched something that resembled any part of a human body.
His chest felt as if it was about to explode and his body struggled to rise to the surface against his will.
After some minutes that felt like hours, his hand brushed against something that Sousuke identified as a piece of fabric.
He opened his sore eyes and came face to face with a broad chest. He would have cried with joy if he hadn't been so scared.
Wrapping one arm around the limp body, he struggled to swim back to the surface, feeling as if thousands of needles were piercing his battered shoulder.
When he made sure the person had their head out of the water too, he paddled back to the bank and dragged the body out.
The person was a young man, probably around the same age as Sousuke, he was a bit shorter than him and had maroon hair, or so it seemed in that poor light.
He was not moving and he didn't seem to be breathing. Sousuke pressed his index and middle fingers against his neck, trying to take his pulse. Nothing.
Taking advantage of the fact that the guy was clad in a thin jacket, he pressed his ear against his chest, hoping against hope that he could hear his heartbeat, even if it was weak. Nothing.
Shivering, he tried to recall everything he had learned about CPR at his swimming club when he was a kid.
He placed the heel of his hand at the centre of the guy's chest, then he placed the other hand on top and pressed down.
After thirty compressions, he tilted the man's head and lifted his chin to open his airway. Then, he pinched his nose and sealed his mouth over the other's, blowing into it for one second. He gave two rescue breaths.
"C'moooon," he pleaded, repeating the cycle.
The guy was still unresponsive.
"Hey, what's going on there?" a male voice was shouting from the bridge.
"Call an ambulance!" another person was saying, running down the slope.
More people were approaching Sousuke and the unconscious guy.
"Call the police!" someone yelled
'Whoa, no thank you,' Sousuke shivered at the mention of the police.
He wanted to help the guy, he really did, but he had had enough trouble with the law already. The last thing he needed was being questioned about that incident. With his luck, he would probably end up being accused of murder if the guy hadn't survived and couldn't explain he had jumped.
When the first stranger kneeled next to them, Sousuke looked at him.
"Do you know how to perform CPR?" he asked.
"We-well, yeah, kind of…" the man replied, his eyes wide with fear.
"Then do it!" Sousuke urged, springing to his feet before the newcomer had a chance to refuse.
He ran to retrieve his shoes and his bag, while the other man seemed torn between demanding him to go back and helping the unconscious guy.
'I'm so sorry, mate,' he thought, casting one last glance at the unmoving form lying on the floor.
By the time the first lights of the ambulance and the police cars shone in the night sky over the bridge, Sousuke had already left.
.
.
.
The rain had stopped at last, and some timid rays of sun falling on his face reminded Sousuke that it was daytime and he should get up.
It wasn't easy, though. His whole body ached after his unexpected swim in the cold river, and his subsequent flight from the scene at a fast pace in drenched clothes that he couldn't change until more than one hour later didn't help.
He was grateful that he had found a phone booth at a deserted area in the outskirts of what seemed a pretty big town, if the thousands of lights he had spotted in the distance before arriving were anything to go by.
There, he could take off everything he was wearing and put on the dry clothes he was carrying in his bag.
Sure, the booth reeked of pee and puke, and there was a crack in the glass that let in an unpleasant gush of cold air, but it had been better than getting naked out in the open.
Changing clothes there had made him think of Clark Kent removing his ordinary clothes to show his true self, Superman. Wasn't Sousuke like Superman, too? At least a tiny bit? After all, he had just risked his life to try to save a total stranger.
Had he actually saved the guy, though? He hadn't even stayed to check if his heroic act had been successful.
Trying not to think about it, he had focused all his energy on finding a suitable spot to spend the night and had wandered around for a while until he had come across a homeless camp.
It was a big change from the inn Sousuke had been staying at, but he had also seen worse in the past. He had found what seemed to be quite a decent spot between two ragged tents and had turned his bag into an improvised pillow.
Yes, sleeping on the cement floor didn't help much to his ability to move in the morning, but he couldn't spend all day lying there.
He rolled onto his back and groaned. His face was starting to feel overly warm because of the sun, except for a spot on his cheek.
It felt as if a small, freezing spike was repeatedly tapping his cheekbone.
'What a strange sensation,' he thought, still a bit drowsy. It took several seconds for his mind to register the fact that there actually was something touching his face.
He managed to open his eyes just a tiny bit and saw a person sitting next to him who was, indeed, poking at his cheek.
His whole body tensed up at the sight. What were they trying to do? Were they dangerous? Sousuke didn't have many things that were worth stealing, but still.
He pondered on whether it would be better to pretend he was asleep or to grab the person's arm. Was it better to look threatening or submissive?
He was still undecided when the poking stopped. Sousuke opened one eye very carefully, just to check whether the other was still there.
"So you're finally awake! About time!" an irritated male voice said.
Realising that there was no point in pretending, and deciding that if this stranger wanted him awake it was better to not anger them, Sousuke sat up and sighed, avoiding to make eye contact.
"Ok, ok… What do you want?" he finally asked, looking at the man sitting next to him.
"What the fuck do you mean, what do I want? I was expecting that you would be the one answering my questions!" the guy replied. Out of the corner of his eye, Sousuke saw he was throwing his arms in the air.
Ok, so it was one of those crazy guys, uh? Sousuke never knew how to deal with them, but he always tried to be patient.
"Look, man, I'm not looking for new friends…" he said, still refusing to look at the guy directly. He wanted to make it clear that he was not interested in any bonding with some random stranger.
"Neither am I! But since I'm here, I suppose you're the only one who can explain what the hell is going on!" the man shouted.
Of course, Sousuke had no idea what he was talking about, and he was about to tell them that much when the guy spoke again.
"The last thing I remember is that I was standing on a bridge, making the worse choice of my whole damn life, and the next thing I know is that I'm lying next to a sleeping dude I have never seen before in a place I don't recognize," he said.
Sousuke's eyes widened in surprise at those words and he looked properly at the guy for the first time.
He immediately recognized the maroon mop of hair, even more noticeable in contrast with the unnaturally pale skin. This was the guy who had jumped off the bridge the previous night.
"Wha- what the hell are you doing here? What is… How…?" Sousuke struggled to form coherent questions.
He noticed that other people in the camp were looking at them with curious eyes, but he chose to ignore them.
"Tsk, are you even listening to what I'm saying? I don't know why I'm here! It's like… I can't explain it. I feel that I just… opened my eyes and saw you," the guy said, frustrated.
Sousuke was at a loss. Perhaps he was dreaming. After all, the situation he had lived the night before was the kind of event that was likely to leave a lasting impression on those involved.
He decided to just let the dream unfold and wait for it to end.
He didn't know what to say, anyway, and he only could gape at the man, wondering when he would eventually wake up for real.
The guy seemed pretty lost, too, and looked around them as if hoping that the answers he was looking for would appear written on the floor or something.
After several seconds, he seemed to be hit by a sudden thought and he looked at Sousuke, confusion written all over his face.
"Who are you, by the way?" he asked with a frown.
"I'm… I'm the guy who took you out from the river," Sousuke said, rubbing his neck awkwardly and avoiding the other's stare.
The guy's mouth formed a perfect oh, but no sound came out.
"Well, I guess in the end I didn't make it, uh?" he said after a few seconds, staring off into space. "But… thank you for trying, anyway," he smiled sadly at him, and the resignation in his voice broke Sousuke's heart.
"I'm sorry," Sousuke whispered, lowering his head.
"No, no, please, don't apologise. It was nobody's fault but mine," he said in a tone that left no room for discussion.
Ok, so maybe this whole dream was Sousuke's subconscious mind trying to reassure him that he did everything he could to save the guy and he shouldn't feel guilty for leaving the way he did —because, yes, the idea that he should have stayed had been playing in his head all the fucking time since he had stopped at that disgusting phone booth and had given himself enough time to think.
He felt relieved and, closing his eyes, he lay down again, assuming that now that the message from his brain was clear, the guy would just disappear and at some point he would just wake up.
"What are you doing?" the man's voice asked after some minutes, startling Sousuke.
He sat down and stared at the guy, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression. That damn dream was starting to annoy him. Why didn't it just end?
"Why are you still here?" Sousuke asked, exasperated. They had already concluded that Sousuke was not guilty of what had happened, hadn't they?
"Oi, really, are you being dense on purpose or what? I already told you that I don't know why I'm here. And now it's the part when you help me to figure it out," the man replied, his voice as desperate as Sousuke's.
A terrifying thought started to take shape in Sousuke's head. He pinched his arm as viciously as he could. He soon realised it was pretty stupid to do that, though. After all, his back had been aching. You can't feel pain in a dream, right? But he did feel the pinch and it hurt.
The guy was looking at him with arched eyebrows.
"This isn't a dream, is it?" Sousuke asked, defeated.
"I'm afraid not," the guy said as if he had finally understood Sousuke's reaction to his presence.
"So… are you… a ghost? For real?" Sousuke asked again, even though he already knew the answer.
"So it seems," the guy nodded.
"Ok, look… er… Mr…" Sousuke didn't want to call him Mr Ghost, but if he was honest to himself, he didn't want to ask his name either. He didn't have any intention of deepening their relationship.
And yet… he couldn't help but feel that, by refusing to ask his name, he was somehow dehumanizing him. Ok, maybe he was a disembodied soul now, but he hadn't always been. And he was still in this world.
Sousuke decided that showing some basic manners wouldn't hurt.
"What's your name?" he said this time.
"My name is… was… Rin Matsuoka," the ghost replied in a pained whisper.
Hearing it was hard, and Sousuke had to swallow a small lump in his throat before speaking again.
"I'm Sousuke Yamazaki," he said, stretching out his hand.
Rin moved his arm to shake it, but his hand went right through Sousuke's.
"Oh?" both said at the same time, looking at Sousuke's still outstretched hand in confusion. The ghost lowered his eyes, as if he was embarrassed.
"Uh, well… Ghosts always walk through the walls in the movies, so… I guess we shouldn't be surprised?" Sousuke said, because how else could he comfort a disappointed spirit?
"A while ago I was poking your cheek just fine, though," Rin frowned. "I wasn't aware that I was doing anything special. And it's not like I'm sinking on the ground, either…"
"True," Sousuke said, tapping his chin. There was no much he could ponder over, though. He knew next to nothing about ghosts or the after-life, and he was not particularly interested in learning. "Look, Rin, I really don't know what to say. I've never met a ghost before," he said with a shrug.
"Yeah, well, I've never been a ghost before, I'm sorry I cannot be of more help!" Rin replied, sounding somehow irked.
His attitude took Sousuke by surprise.
"Are you always on the defensive?" Sousuke asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Are you always so blasé about other people's problems?" Rin asked back, crossing his arms with a huff.
"Excuse me? How is this your problem?" Sousuke countered, raising his voice. "You're not the one being haunted for who knows what reason!"
"No, I'm the one who is fucking dead!" Rin shouted. His strange red eyes flashed with anger.
Sousuke's outrage died at once. Rin was right. No matter how bad Sousuke thought he had it, he was alive. He still had chances to make his life better. Rin had lost it all.
Sousuke felt like a total jerk.
"Look, I'm so-" Sousuke started to apologise, but Rin didn't let him finish. His fury seemed to have evaporated too.
"No, it's fine. You are right, after all," he said, raising his hands as if he was surrendering. "I'm… I'm a bother to you," he finished, looking away.
Sousuke inspected his face trying to make it not too obvious that he was staring. Rin just looked so sad.
"I went to that bridge because I thought I was a bother to my family, and then, instead of just… disappearing or going to hell or whatever, I turned into a damn ghost only to become a nuisance for someone else," he said. If ghosts could breathe, Sousuke was sure that Rin would have let out a very heavy sigh.
Sousuke felt like a total jerk elevated to the second power.
"Hey, I didn't mean that, ok?" he started, rubbing his face. "I'm just… I know that there must be a reason for you to be here with me, but I can't figure it out and that… is a scary thought," he admitted.
"I'm not here to harm you," Rin said firmly. "I'm sure of that. Don't ask me how I know it, I just do. You have no reason to fear me," he said, and for the first time, his voice sounded soft.
"Good to know," Sousuke laughed, and Rin smiled. It felt as if the rising tension between them had somehow dispelled.
"I still don't get why I appeared next to you, though. Wouldn't it make more sense if I appeared where my mum and my sister are?" Rin said. Now it was his turn to tap his chin, deep in thought.
Sousuke felt sick at the mention of Rin's family. Somewhere, not even that far away, two women were crying over the dead man he hadn't been able to save.
He chose to keep quiet about it. Talking more in-depth about them was Rin's decision to make, not his.
"What do you think? Do we even know if I'm here because of me or because of you?" Rin asked, not mentioning his family again.
Sousuke was relieved that he had dropped the topic, but he was confused by his question.
"What do you mean?" he frowned. Rin was not making much sense and Sousuke wondered if incoherence was common among ghosts. He supposed it might be the case.
"I mean… Am I here because I had to go back for some reason, or because you had to be haunted for some reason?" Rin asked, speaking so fast that Sousuke had to make an effort to follow him.
"Well, I don't know if you have a reason to go back, but… I guess I might have done something in the past to deserve to be haunted?" Sousuke said with a slight shrug.
He hadn't been a saint, exactly and he saw no need to pretend otherwise now.
"Unless I'm not haunting you, particularly… Do you think you're the only one who can see me?" the ghost asked, apparently excited by his epiphany, if the way he was bouncing was anything to go by.
"Well, people have been casting weird glances at me for a while now, so I imagine that they don't see you and they think I'm just speaking alone and that I'm not exactly sane…" Sousuke said looking around and lowering his voice. Too late for that, he thought, considering that he had been shouting just a minute ago.
"Ok, ok…" Rin closed his eyes and rubbed his temples in circles. He obviously didn't have a headache, so Sousuke supposed he was trying to focus. "I think I read once that when you have had a near-death experience you can become more… uh… receptive to supernatural stuff. So maybe when you dived into the river…"
"I don't think I was in danger of dying, to be honest," Sousuke shrugged. But then he recalled the feeling of his lungs about to explode. So perhaps Rin's theory was not that far-fetched. "Do you think I can see all the ghosts around now? For real?"
"Uh, I don't know," Rin replied. He looked around, biting his lips. "Can you see that man over there, the one with the blue jacket?" he asked, pointing to the highway that ran over the other side of the camp.
Sousuke followed the direction of Rin's finger. He could see lots of cars whooshing by, but there wasn't any person.
"I don't see any man. Is he haunting someone, too?" he asked, even though he realised it was a stupid question. Who could he haunt in the middle of a highway, anyway? Everything was so confusing and he could feel the signs of an incoming migraine.
"How would I know?" Rin shrugged. "The man is a ghost, I just… feel it, but I can't tell why he's there."
"So basically we're back at square one," Sousuke sighed, resigned.
Rin sat with his knees to his chest and buried his face in his arms.
"When I 'woke up' here," Rin started, "the first thing I did was trying to get to my home. I supposed that I would have the ability to appear wherever I wanted, but it didn't work. I pictured my bedroom in my head and focused on going there, and I felt I was somehow moving, but when I opened my eyes again, I was still here. I tried many times," he explained. Even though his face was covered, his voice didn't sound muffled.
"Have you tried going somewhere else? Maybe to the bridge where… you know," Sousuke asked. The fact that Rin couldn't go to his family's side didn't necessarily mean he was stuck with him.
Rin just raised his head and nodded. Sousuke wondered if ghosts could cry, because Rin sure as hell looked as if he was about to.
"Ok, what about this area? I mean, do you have to stay by my side literally?" he asked. Against his will, he was starting to feel very curious about the way the whole 'ghosting' thing worked.
"I don't think so… When I was trying to get away, I appeared there," Rin replied, pointing to a group of tents several metres away. "I tried my best to focus, but I couldn't leave and in the end, I only managed to scared some dudes when things started to fly around them…" he finished, sounding regretful.
Sousuke thought long and hard about it. Rin could move things and he had touched his cheek, but he hadn't been able to take his hand. What was different and what was the same in those situations?
Rin had been very interested in leaving the place and in waking Sousuke up. But he was way more chilled about shaking his hand because, after all, that was not such a big deal.
Apparently, Rin needed to make a conscious effort to touch things or to influence his environment.
"So when we tried to shake hands we couldn't because you were not actually focused on it, but when you made a real effort to move around or to touch my face, you could make things fly and I felt your finger," Sousuke summed up, searching for confirmation. Perhaps they were going somewhere, at last.
"That makes sense," Rin said, nodding slightly. "I was desperate to wake you up, but shaking hands felt so automatic I never even thought about it."
'Interesting,' Sousuke thought. Excitement bubbled inside his chest. For the first time since he had woken up that morning, he could glimpse a possible reason for what was happening.
Rin had some kind of ghostly power, and maybe that was just what Sousuke needed.
Being haunted by a ghost felt like the kind of thing that would be considered some sort of punishment for something you had done, like karma giving you the middle finger.
Sousuke had done many questionable things in his life, and even though none of them had been due to pure malice, he wouldn't be surprised if whoever pulled the strings of the universe had wanted to pull a prank on him.
But what if that wasn't the case at all? Why would he be punished right after doing the only selfless thing he had done in years? He had just risked his life to save some else's, for fuck's sake. Even if he had failed, his good intentions had to count, right?
Perhaps —and this was what had Sousuke's body almost vibrating in anticipation— Rin's presence was, in fact, a reward. Maybe it was his chance to change his life for the better.
An idea began to take shape in his head. There were many things he could do with the help of a ghost that would earn him good money.
"Hey," he said to Rin, who had been lost in thought since Sousuke exposed his theory.
"Uh?" the ghost asked, coming back from wherever his mind was wandering.
"Do you believe in fate?" Sousuke asked, straight to the point.
"I do," Rin said with a serious expression. "Although that doesn't mean I understand how it works. Why? Do you believe this has something to do fate?" he asked, his face showing genuine curiosity.
Sousuke supposed that honesty was the best course of action in this case —because, what if ghosts could read minds?—, but he decided to play the pity card as well, just for good measure.
"Look," he started, his eyes fixed on Rin. "I've had a very shitty life. Some of that has been my fault, some has been because of the circumstances. But when I jumped in the river, I was trying to do the right thing. I believe that it was fate that I was there yesterday just when you jumped, and it is fate that you have stayed around instead of crossing to the other side, whatever that is. I think you are here because you have to help me," he finished, trying to sound as convincing as possible.
"As payment for what you did? But how can I help you? I'm… you know, dead," Rin frowned.
"Have you watched the Ghostbusters movie?" Sousuke asked, the corner of his lips curling upwards.
"Yes…" Rin's frown deepened. "But it was a long time ago."
"Would you like to start a ghost-hunting business with me?" Sousuke finally suggested, using his best salesman expression.
"Like in the movie?!" Rin's eyebrows met his hairline.
"Well… Kind of," Sousuke shrugged. "I'm sure people would be willing to pay a lot of money to get rid of the ghost haunting them," he said as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world and it didn't involve supernatural beings he didn't believe in until that very morning.
He saw Rin was hesitating. Sousuke didn't enjoy being manipulative, but he was desperate, and he truly believed that Rin was there to help him, somehow. To change his miserable fate.
"You owe me," he stated, playing his last card and hoping that Rin would buy it.
Rin looked shocked, and even a bit hurt, at Sousuke's remark, as if he couldn't believe that he would use that on him. After several seconds in silence, he lowered his head.
"But what if there aren't any ghosts to get rid of?" he asked, still unconvinced.
"Oh, don't worry about that. There will be a ghost," Sousuke grinned.