Chapter Text
The System hates him. Shen Qingqiu can feel it in his bones. If it’s not the insufferable remarks he has to receive on a daily basis, it’s shit like this that goes on every other week, just to remind and poke fun of Shen Qingqiu over how badly he had fucked up the original canon.
This being that the System had randomly decided to force him into a shitty anime-of-the-day trope of having animal features – fluffy cat ears and a tail to match, no less. First of all, it was always extremely embarrassing having to cook up all sorts of semi-plausible reasons to pacify Luo Binghe into not finding a suitable victim to pin the blame on. That alone was always embarrassing, but today, he has to do in in cat ears! What sort of shitty third-rate harem anime setting was this?!
System, can you manifest a physical body so I can beat you up just for once? Can you use my B-points?
The System does not have a body.
I’m asking you to make one.
The System doesn’t reply.
“Shizun!” Luo Binghe rushes into the bamboo house, the wooden sliding door rattling in his wake. “I’m sorry for returning late, that Mobei wasted my time traveling to—”
Shen Qingqiu bashfully looks towards Luo Binghe, whose mouth now is hanging open, and eyes wide in shock. “...Welcome back, Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu manages dryly, his fan spread open across his face as if it would help to smother a bit of the embarrassment he’s facing right now.
Luo Binghe gulps visibly, then takes a few furtive steps towards Shen Qingqiu, lowering himself on the floor as he looks Shen Qingqiu all over. “Shizun, you... this...” he stutters, raising a hand towards Shen Qingqiu’s ears and stopping himself, “what happened to you...?”
Oh shit, oh shit! Binghe came home too fast! Shen Qingqiu fights his inner turmoil, while trying to think of some excuse for his pitiful state right now. The System must really hate him.
“Don’t worry, Binghe.” Shen Qingqiu musters his calmest voice. “Earlier, this master encountered a group of feline demons on the way back. You know, the unruly ones that reside near the southern territories.” Luo Binghe nods. Shen Qingqiu has no idea what he was saying exactly, but he hopes to somehow complete the story when he’s done rambling. “I was careless, and they managed to set a curse on me. I’m not sure when they will wear off, but it’s not too much of a problem.”
At his feet, Luo Binghe balls his fists, a frown appearing on his handsome features. It makes Shen Qingqiu want to sigh and pat him on his head.
He refrains from acting on the urge.
“Shizun,” Luo Binghe swallows thickly, “you may say that, but if it’s uncomfortable for you, this disciple can go look for them and ask them to...”
Shen Qingqiu freezes. It’s none of their business – Shen Qingqiu doesn’t want to see the poor cat demon race getting absolutely wiped off the surface of the earth on a wrong accusation! “There’s no need.” Luo Binghe might still be unconvinced, so Shen Qingqiu decides to commit to it. “Besides, you just returned. Do you really want to leave this master here and run off again?”
Cringe! Cringe! Shen Qingqiu would never say shit like this out loud if the lives of a whole minor branch of demons weren’t in his hands right now. This was for the sake of nature and the balance of biodiversity. The greater good.
Luo Binghe eats that up immediately, his eyes lighting up as he starts leaning closer to Shen Qingqiu, resting his chin on Shen Qingqiu’s knee, hands moving up to massage Shen Qingqiu’s calves.
“Shizun, but...” Luo Binghe starts, then pauses, “so, I mean... if I may be rude... can I ask...”
“Get to the point, Binghe.”
“Your ears, Shizun...” Luo Binghe trails off, transfixed on the tufts on Shen Qingqiu’s hair, creamy white contrasting with the dark glossy hair. “Can I... can I touch them?”
No! You may NOT!!!!
But Shen Qingqiu knows to let Luo Binghe indulge in whatever was in his mind right now, than to let him have any spare time to think about going back to exterminate the poor demons. So he clears his throat and nods slowly.
Gulping, Luo Binghe stretches a hand towards Shen Qingqiu, gently tilting his head down until they were almost face-to-face. Tentatively, he touches one of the ears with a finger, but quickly retracts it as the ear twitches. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t aware of the instinctive reflex, only raises a brow at Luo Binghe’s sudden retreat. Luo Binghe tries again, this time cupping the whole ear in his palm, feeling the warmth and the soft, fine hair against his skin. “Shizun, you’re so soft,” Luo Binghe breathes in amazement, and it makes Shen Qingqiu blush in shame.
Gaining some courage, Luo Binghe starts using both hands to fondle both ears now, and it was taking everything in Shen Qingqiu to ask him to please stop. Although it wasn’t uncomfortable, it itched a little, and made his skin tingle all over. Shen Qingqiu had never felt anything quite like it, and it made him shiver. “B—Binghe, wait,” Shen Qingqiu says, voice coming out shakier than expected.
Luo Binghe pauses his actions, and looks at Shen Qingqiu. He slowly lowers his hands obediently, but presses closer to Shen Qingqiu, a weird look in his eyes.
Unfortunately for Shen Qingqiu, it was a look he was fairly used to. Luo Binghe was horny! And over what?! Shen Qingqiu wants to cry. None of this was his fault. Still, Luo Binghe has the cheek to continue. “Shizun, I’ll stop touching your ears.” Before Shen Qingqiu can breathe a sigh of relief, he continues, “now, can I touch your tail?”
Shen Qingqiu stares, incredulous, but Luo Binghe had a death grip on his weaknesses, and the ever-ready tears were already on standby, brimming in his eyes. Just his fault for falling in love with the most impossibly overpowered protagonist ever, maybe.
“...Do whatever you want.”