Chapter Text
Eyes often compared to the killing curse stared back at Estela. This was her routine; every day she stared in the mirror trying to figure out what she did in a past life to deserve the awful things that have happened. Today was just the cherry on top of what has been a difficult number of years.
This had been a habit of hers every birthday since she was young. Each birthday was another soulmark she had to glamour constantly. It was undeniably important that no one saw them until she was able to be with her other half. Estela idly admired the swirls around her arms. They could even be beautiful if Estella allowed herself to think so. If anyone got close enough to look, they would see that her swirls were not solid black but a long uninterrupted chain of a single name;
Tom Marvolo Riddle
This was definitely not an ordinary wizard's name. Not to Estella, and certainly not to any light family. The current dark lord's name was not exactly inconspicuous.
Using the basic occlumency she had been practicing, Estela wiped her face of all emotion before steeling herself to face the day. Taking each step downstairs slowly seemed to be how she was stalling seeing her parents today. Internally Estela was panicking.
Since she was sorted into Slytherin in first year her relationship with the elder potters had considerably cooled. They had never been close to their eldest daughter, but first year seemed to cement their ideas of who Estela was. She never understood the hatred James and Lily potter harbored as her grandmother, Dorea, had been a Slytherin in her years at Hogwarts. If their prejudice was selective, then why did it not extend to Estela?
Slightly shaking her head of that line of thinking, Estela made her way to the dining table. Sitting near the head of the table was Lily potter. Flowing auburn hair and a small heart shaped face made Lilly look the near opposite of her daughter. Estela’s sharp jaw, arched brows and heavily lidded eyes made her a spitting image of her distant cousin Bellatrix, who the elder potters despised. Bella was the best of the cousins, in Estela’s heavily biased opinion. She was the one who nourished Estela’s thirst for knowledge. Where her parents did their best to lead her interests to light magic, Estela’s core was always too dark to truly enjoy it. This made her dinners with Uncle Sirius and Aunt Bella, her preferred name, the highlight of Estela’s week. Bellatrix didn’t work in the traditional sense as far as the public knew, but when the liquor was flowing Bellatrix would describe the gory scenes of the jobs she was assigned as a Hitwizard for hire. Estela was perfectly aware that what she did was not legal, but in her eyes, what was the loss of a few wizards who meant nothing to most people?
Estela knew her morals did not match well with that of her parents. James and Lily Potter; two prominent members of the light faction, raised her to be a perfect light witch. Her parents refused to let her around anyone remotely dark, it was this reason that Uncle Sirius told Estela not to mention Bellatrix’s presence at their dinners. As it was, they thought that Sirius was tutoring her in dueling and not the battle magic and dark arts he had truly taught her.
Something else Sirius had taught her was the existence of soulmarks. To the dark families, a soulmark was the highest honor, the other half of your soul represented on your skin. To the light families, soulmarks are considered dark magic as they are rooted in soulmagic. If a soulmark appeared on a light witch or wizard, a cleansing ceremony where the offending mark is removed. This ceremony is performed by the current light lord. At the present moment, that person is Albus Dumbledore. Estella internally scoffed as she sat in beside her father at the head of the table. If anyone could truly be labeled a dumbledore fanatic, it would be James Potter. Estella never understood her father's merlin-like idolization of Dumbledore. She could not stand to be in the same room as his sickly light magic and Dumbledore could tell he made her uncomfortable, but continued to force his presence on her throughout her childhood. Estella always blamed James for Dumbledore’s odd interest in her. When James realized she had a natural dark core he asked Dumbledore for advice. That was when she was five and James was still searching for a spell to change her core alignment despite his distaste for her.
Her father glanced at her quickly as she sat down and watched Estella serve herself a helping of eggs.
“Are you ready for your school shopping today? It is your final year.” James very rarely directed anything at Estella unless strictly necessary.
“I was unaware I had received my Hogwarts letter father.” She felt that by keeping the conversation formal she would be able to at least delay James' annoyance.
“We still open your mail Estella” James sent a sidelong glance at Lily, “Your mother and i dislike the company you keep.”
“James…” Lily warned lightly. This was her mother's way, pretending to reign in her husbands rudeness while not contradicting the truth of his words,
Estella Steadied her gaze at the pair
“The last time i checked today is my coming of age and you are no longer allowed to open my correspondence.”
her parents shifted slightly before james opened his mouth “This letter was received before today, but regardless you are still my heir and i have every right to help you make the right connections.”
This was the same argument they had nearly every summer. Estella’s connections to her Slytherin classmates were undesirable in her parents eyes, and her being close with Draco Malfoy did not endear her to James and Lily. She has heard it all before; “He’s from a dark family!”, “The last thing we need is you to invite more dark magic into your already dark core!” Each time the argument ended in James apparating away from the estate presumably to drink away the night. Then Estella was always left with her raging mother who had always blamed her for James’s drinking.
Estella shook herself from her recollection and continued to blankly stare at the two people she had grown to hate. The festering resentment had only grown over the years and was now too hard to hide.
She decided to change the subject to prevent that particular argument, but she definitely was not going to shop with James
“I would be happy to shop on my own.” She could see James’s temper rising “But i would be happy to keep all receipts to show you what i bought.” Giving James that sense of control over her would hopefully quell his childish anger.
He seemed to struggle with what to say for a brief moment and Estella held back a scoff. Gryffindor's and their pride. “That would be acceptable. I am sure I can find something better to do today” He quickly stood up and made to leave. “i think Albus wanted to meet anyway”
Lily finally broke her silence “Here is your letter, and” She hesitated “...congratulations” She walked out of the dining room leaving Estella confused. She pulled out the letter from the envelope and a heavy clunk sounded on the table. Estella picked up the badge and was exhilarated to see Head Girl gleaming back at her.