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"Well, Doctor, if you have something to say to me, you might as well get on with it."
At that, Julian dropped his hands to his sides, shoulders deflating.
"Oh, my friend," he sighed, coming to sit on the edge of the bunk beside Garak. "What have you done?"
Garak's eyeridges floated up toward his hairline. "I find it hard to believe no one has updated you in that regard."
"And you would be quite correct. Worf just briefed the Captain, Odo, and myself on everything. I only meant--well, I suppose I don't know what I meant."
Julian's brow furrowed as he considered it, his statement hanging in the air in the meantime. Finally, Julian turned to look at Garak, still frowning.
"You do know there are going to be repercussions, don't you?"
Garak dipped his head in acknowledgement. "I expected as much. I have lived among you Federationites long enough to know that what I did-- what I tried to do, would not be looked upon favorably by your superiors."
"Then why do it?"
Garak rolled his eyes, made a sound in the back of his throat as he pushed off from the bunk and strode across the cramped living space.
"Must we have this conversation again, Doctor? Do I really have to delineate for you the myriad ways in which the values your Federation has instilled in you are not, in fact, the universal standard?"
"No, no, spare me that please. I only mean…"
Julian trailed off, once again coming up empty.
"For a man who espouses the virtue of directness at every given opportunity, you seem to have a great deal of difficulty saying quite what you mean."
Julian tensed, clenched his jaw.
"That's rich coming from you."
"Oh, I assure you Doctor, I know the meaning of everything I say.” Garak’s voice had risen in both pitch and volume over the course of their exchange, and he was now just shy of fully shouting at Julian. “It is out of my hands whether you are adept enough to figure it out."
Julian winced, feeling distinctly like he’d been slapped. All at once, he became aware of how easily he had fallen upon the proverbial sword of Garak’s melodrama, missing it for the weapon it was in that moment.
"I didn't come here to fight with you, Garak."
"Well, then I must congratulate you on your powers of obfuscation."
Julian exhaled, short and sharp.
Garak narrowed his eyes. “If you didn’t come here to provoke me, as you say, then what exactly did you come here for? You should know by now that I am not capable of giving you the kind of answers to which you believe yourself entitled.”
"Yes, I know that. And besides, I already know why you did it, too. I know that full well. But the damnedest thing is-- I can't quite bring myself to be angry with you for it. Damn it, Garak, I was on that planet, why can’t I be angry with you for it?"
Julian leaned forward, bracing his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees.
Garak allowed the silence to suspend around them for a while before speaking again, crossing back over to stand in front of where Julian hunched over, looking oddly defeated.
“Because, my dear Doctor, you are a brilliantly capable man, plenty intelligent enough to know that whatever is to come is going to be ugly, is going to be brutal, is going to be devastating, and there is no avoiding that now. And despite your desperation to be fully indoctrinated into your Federation’s veritable cult of ethics, you can’t help but see beyond it. You are too strong not to.”
Julian lifted his head from his hands, looking up at Garak with eyes threatening to spill over. Garak was dangerously close to giving in to the peculiar little piece of him that went soft inside when they were together. He reached out, fully intending to place a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder but found instead that his fingers had graced the underside of Julian’s jawline and stayed there.
Julian froze, holding every last little muscle completely still.
"And surely you are also intelligent enough to know," Garak said finally. "That if I truly had meant to succeed in my objective, neither of us would be here having this conversation."
Julian’s eyes searched wildly through Garak's face for something he would inevitably fail to find, his own expression shifting through a rapid display of surprise, disbelief, indignation, and hopeful dubiousness all in just one second. Eventually, he just sighed, leaning his cheek into Garak’s palm for a moment before Garak drew it away.
"There will still be consequences, you know," Julian said as Garak sat back down beside him.
"Believe me, I do."
"I have no idea what kind of sentence intent to commit genocide carries, but I can't imagine it would be a favorable one."
Julian looked absolutely miserable, staring directly at the floor in front of him while making no attempt to conceal the juvenile pout that had taken up residence on his face.
"No doubt."
"A prison sentence for sure. Maximum security, likely. Could be years."
"Could be."
Julian looked up at Garak, offering a tight-lipped grimace as he leaned forward to press his shoulder to Garak’s own.
But then, he did not look away again, and Garak found that he couldn’t either.
Something flickered over Julian’s face that Garak could not name, but shocked his heartbeat into a race nonetheless.
Julian tilted his forehead closer, leaning in but mere micrometers, and it was Garak’s turn to still every muscle fiber of his being.
“Garak,” Julian murmured in that impossibly gentle way of his, his voice barely more than a whisper. Garak’s whole ribcage seemed to contract, rendering him incapable of speech. “Can… can I…?”
Garak nodded once and then Julian was kissing him, soft and gentle like the way he said Garak’s name, his mouth smooth and warm.
And Garak found that he could not stop—they could not stop, their lips meeting again and again until Garak’s jaw ached and one hand was tangled in Julian’s hair, their foreheads pressed together. When they finally came up for air, Julian’s body was half-sprawled across Garak’s lap, his weight pressing him down into the bunk, anchoring him.
"Tell me Doctor,” said Garak breathlessly, doing his best to shift underneath Julian so that their legs and torsos aligned “How much longer until we return to the station?"
"Oh,” Julian’s eyebrows crinkled as he thought about it, complimenting his swollen lips, and the flush across his face. “A few hours, I suppose."
"Then by all means, make yourself comfortable. If these are to be my last hours as a free man, I may as well spend them in tolerable company. That is, of course, unless you are needed elsewhere…?"
A shadow of a smile flickered over Julian's face before he settled his weight more fully over Garak's body.
"I'm all yours."