Chapter Text
i don’t know a thing about it all i want is real real love…
The breeze felt soft. The setting sun glowed, the day slowing to evening. It was that selfless time, a time to be beholden to nature, a time for chilled beers and long talks, a time to look and to think. Simple and perfect.
Jiwoo leaned out of her window, arms resting over the metal frame. She let her eyes slip shut and listened to the quiet. Notes from the city, just out of reach, creeping through. The semester breathed its last breaths but the world carried on outside.
She was excited to be in it.
“Jiwoo?” The voice fluttered with laughter, catching her at peace. She opened her eyes, unbothered and turned her attention below.
He lifted the plastic bag in his hand, weighed heavy with cheap beer. “You staying for…”
He nodded up toward the roof with a sly smile.
“Yeah.”
“Cool…see you up there.”
Jiwoo turned back to her dorm room, packed away for the summer. A bed frame, an empty desk, the wardrobe stocked only with the hangers she wasn’t taking back with her. It felt strange seeing it stripped to its bare bones, no more personality.
Next semester someone else would come along, someone like her maybe, anxious and excited with old posters and new bedding. They’d talk too much to their roommate, scare them a little, then become inseparable.
For a year she’d called it home. She’d miss it.
The bass of a loudspeaker shook the room, the leftover hangers swinging from side to side. The party had officially begun. Jiwoo locked the window, crossed into the bathroom quickly to check herself over. She'd decided on a casual look, just jeans and a sweater, nothing fancy. Once she’d fixed her bangs, a nudge or two to each side with her middle finger, she made her way up.
The students that had opted to stay inside lined the hallways, tipping their solo cups at Jiwoo as she passed by, a cheers to making it through the year.
There was a cup in her hand the moment she made it up, transparent, the foam hissing as it bounced around. Jiwoo assumed it was champagne or a cheap knockoff, she took a sip and it was sweet and coated her tongue. The bubbles went straight to her head, a contentedness settling, telling her she was a little buzzed.
The party was a sigh, no one was looking to get wasted or hook up, the wave of the year had crested, now it was relaxing on shore. It was a chance to say goodbye and actually say it.
Jiwoo gravitated toward the smokers, huddled in one corner like they usually were, a mixture of cigarettes and a couple of joints being passed around. Jiwoo always seemed to end up settling with them, a force of habit maybe.
“Jiwoo! You smoking tonight?”
She had joined them once or twice, now they always asked, surprisingly happy to share.
She shook her head, “Not tonight, no.”
The joint passed along to the next person, each of them letting the smoke out the side of their mouth to be polite. “Just enjoying the view?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, if you change your mind…”
Jiwoo smiled, “Thanks."
It was the same pattern every time. I’m good. Okay, well, if you change your mind.
They drifted back to their conversation and Jiwoo took in the view, a moment to herself. The city stretched for miles then disappeared into the horizon, the clouds were thin like mist and the blue had degraded as night took over. The sun was barely visible, a footprint of orange in the sky.
It reminded her of home, of her childhood, of staring up at the sky and feeling small, feeling her stomach zing and fizz like it contained a storm, not knowing why she felt so excited. It reminded her of middle school, of walking home with friends, singing uninhibited, face turned up to the sun, thinking she knew exactly what her future held.
The breeze picked up and smoke mixed with the evening air, drifting toward her, secondary inhalation, and she was reminded of high school. At her desk, eyes heavy with sleep, looking up at the stars and feeling insignificant, worried for her future and that smoke, thick and languid, rolling in…