Archive of Our Own

This is a short memo?Story?I don't really know.
I was not born like the others(even you reading this).Ok that's a lie,I was born quite normally by my mum in a hospital (I made it obvious). I'm writing this because I promised someone I would.My name is Aaron Applebum ... it's not.
My name is Wade Wilson, it's a pretty bad name... that's what you get for being born with hippies for parents.
I knew I was special, I heard voices. Not like an imaginary friend like other kids have. These voices were my demons, I didn't hate them, they understood me...they understand that I was special. I hated other kids,they were regular and not special. It all started in 1992(I'm stalling so I wouldn't skip to what I'm supposed to say).
So at age ten I killed my first animal,it was a dog my mum got me. She said it would make me feel better,enter the real world, less alone,less empty,less soul dead?
I called him Mephi,I know you are thinking "what a great name" ... it's not.
I named him after mephistopheles, the demon in faust legends.
They were laughing, they said things that I would do and I had done.They told me I would grow to love my dog and then I would be just like them...the lovers of vermin, regular people. Dogs were for regular people. They told me I was just a regular boy.
I told them I didn't like the dog(I did).
They laughed and told me to prove it, so I went inside the kitchen and brought out a knife and stabbed his leg.They kept laughing...said I would just take him to the vet and he'd be all patched up. I stabbed his eye.
No he would still live...I failed to prove myself, I'm normal. There was nothing special about me.
I stabbed his stomach and brought out all his organs , they smelt weirdly nice, were they supposed to? i spread his blood all over the floor and I laid down on it.
I fell asleep,I was still empty...I know what I did was wrong but it didn't feel wrong. It didn't feel right either.
After that day my parents buried his parts and we moved away. They thought a change of environment would help. It did. I didn't remember and lived a normal life, even attended high-school. Still no friends, I wanted friends...so I started making jokes, I became popular but as the class clown. It upset me. I was invited to a costume party , I dressed up as wolverine. When I got there people started laughing at me, taking pictures, mocking me. I couldn't take it, I stabbed someone. It felt good, everyone looked scared, what have I done. But I don't feel bad, I feel good, the voices came back. They started whispering, I started screaming...everyone looked scared. I ran away, into the woods,no one would mind if I ate killed there? right? I killed a lot of animals and washed myself with their blood.I almost died,yet I didn't. 10 years pass by ,it was getting worse...I could smell them now,I can't be a normal person...all that time and I didn't die,I've lost a lot of body parts,they regrew.
But it's ok, it's not fair to kill animals.At least I think it isn't?
It was either them or people.
I thought I would stay here and not hurt anyone...alone.
One day, a man came...his name is Peter Parker,he smells repulsive...like perfume and burnt wood and life.
He stuck around and tried to make me stop...I couldn't,he couldn't.
The voices said I had to kill the dog...I killed my dog . Peter Parker said his aunt called him a dog once...he said he'd help me. He had a therapist that deals with people who liked unaliving others,i justhadtogo withhim. I couldn't.
He stayed, I still don't know why. He's perfect, kind, gorgeous, smart, funny and sane. Then again he stayed with me , I question the sane bit. We grew so close, I felt something...it's love. I've never loved before, not even my parents. He went away for 3 weeks ,came back and said he was ready,he has said his goodbyes. He loves me and I,him. I couldn't bring myself to kill him. Guess that's what love is all about, going against your nature for someone you care about. He made sure to cover his injuries. We lived there. Suddenly my one man sanctuary of blood thirst became my home. We stayed for years. He goes into the city sometimes but he always comes back for me. Whenever he goes he brings back food and pizza and tries to get me to go back. I never did. I became selfish...I wanted him forever, he would grow old, he would leave me, he'd decide he wants stability...I couldn't let that happen. The voices were getting louder...I was losing it. He has seen me eat rabbits but he didn't care or he simply cared too much for me. One day he slit his hands and I smelled it,it was so nice...I couldn't resist, couldn't suppress it.he smiled and said he was confident i wouldn't hurt him. But he was wrong I stabbed him...I killed him...I liked the smell , i was sick, the kind that shouldn't live. I buried him, I knew i was too weak, i killed him.I was happy not guilty. I should.
I'm going to stab myself now, should have done that before but I was selfish.
This story has a lot of holes , I'm sure you want to know a lot, I just skipped everything,to tell you that it's better to lose yourself than lose others.
I am evil. I am bloodthirsty.
Forgive me.