Chapter Text
The first time he met him, he was above looking below.
From the top of the grand staircase, the boy looked so small in his frilly uniform, humming a soft tune with his gentle voice. But as Jeongguk came down, clutching his mug of tea, he saw his broad set of shoulders and somehow, the plumpest lips he’d ever seen. As the son of the house owner, Jeongguk wasn’t entirely familiar with every employee, but he himself couldn’t help but reach out to the pretty boy, to get closer to him. He brushed aside a thin strand of black hair from the other’s forehead discreetly.
He mumbled, “Pretty.”
“Um, thank you…?”
Perhaps Jeongguk didn’t plan out this interaction perfectly.
“Okay...Young master, what seems to be the problem?” the boy queried, seemingly startled by the close contact. Up close, Jeongguk was almost overwhelmed. The servant's skin was fair and smooth against the his black uniform, his bangs were styled beautifully messy, and his bright eyes shining so unfairly alluringly. Realising he’d been staring, Jeongguk flushed, sipping at his tea casually to pretend he hadn’t just ruined everything.
The awkward silence continued uncomfortably.
He felt like a lone clown at a funeral, but that funeral was looking to be his own.
“Uh so-"
“Titanic!”
“What?”
“Sorry, that was a horrible ice breaker.”
Jeongguk snorted, his hand covering his mouth as he looked away from the servant next to him, biting back a smile. The angel’s eyes shone with barely concealed amusement, his demeanour light and friendly as he waited for Jeongguk to calm down, who eventually composed himself.
“That certainly was a bad ice breaker, huh. Well, I guess I'm…I'm Jeongguk. Nice to meet you.” he managed to get out, straightening his tie.
“I’m well aware…sir?” the other replied, raising an eyebrow as Jeongguk held back a chuckle.
“And your name is?” he asked.
“I’m Seokjin, Kim Seokjin. I work as a servant in your house.” Seokjin answered, a small smile gracing his lips.
“Oh.” he commented blandly.
“…I see you’re good at holding conversations.” Seokjin observed, sarcastic.
Jeongguk grinned, defending himself, “I don’t talk to many people. Mother’s a bit…”
“Classist?”
“Stingy, let’s call it stingy. You talk like this to everyone?”
“Just the ones who aren’t classist.”
“Sorry about my mother...I appreciate what she’s done for me, but well, I don’t think she’s anyone’s favourite here.”
“Hm, well if I had to pick you’d be my favourite in the family. You’re kind of cute.”
Jeongguk getting flustered and spilling his tea was not part of his plan to get to know Seokjin, but it somewhat worked in his favour as Seokjin sighed and dragged him to get cleaned. It was a good excuse to spend more time with the other, although the silence was still a bit awkward.
“So, how old are you Seokjin?” Jeongguk wondered aloud, looking at the servant scrubbing his blouse with a towel.
“I just turned 19.” he answered softly, eyes focused on the pale brown stain. “You can call me Jin, young master.”
“I’m 21. Also, y- you can call me Hyung… like Jeongguk-hyung. Um…how long have you been working here?” the elder questioned.
Jin rubbed a tissue against the white material, grinning slightly as he said, “A little over 3 months. What’s with the interview, hyung?”
Jeongguk looked him up and down, reasoning, “Just interested…”
“In my face? You’re not the first one. Congrats on getting me alone with you though, I must say I’ve never seen someone use the ’spill a drink’ technique.”
“That’s not what I- You don’t mince words, do you?”
“Not usually, just glad to see someone around my age here. Everyone here is either a newborn or going through their fourth divorce already.” Seokjin explained lightly, letting out a cute giggle afterwards. Jeongguk sighed out loud, pretending that his heart didn’t squeeze hearing the younger giggle.
“How do you know I haven’t divorced 4 times? I could have, for all you know.” Jeongguk posed.
“You seem like a virgin.”
“I’m not. And you seem like a bigger virgin.”
“...Any other questions you desperately need answered?”
“Firstly, I’m not a virgin.” Jeongguk asserted, looking at the black haired boy raise an eyebrow from below him. "Secondly, well uh... I guess if there’s anything I could do to…help? I don’t really know what the staff do. So just if you’re uncomfortable or anything…yeah. I don’t know, are you happy here?”
“Do you want the nice or the real answer?” Jin joked, removing his hands from Jeongguk’s chest, taking his warmth with him as he turned around, crouching down to dip the towel in a bucket of water to clean it off. With delicate fingers, he scrubbed away in the cold water, the splashing loud in the silence.
Jeongguk didn’t reply.
“Well, to be honest, I feel a bit stagnant. I didn’t join for myself. I’m here to help pay for my food and my brother’s studies, nothing more and nothing less. I wish I had some bigger motivation or purpose to strive towards for myself.” Jin admitted, eyes not leaving the bucket. “I want to explore, I want to experience things."
“I understand,” Jeongguk agreed hesitantly. “I don’t really want to continue the family business. I’ve always gotten textiles and fabrics shoved onto me, but I realistically don’t care for them enough to run a factory.”
“Not to invalidate you, but we certainly have different levels of struggling…young master Jeongguk.” Jin chuckled, eyes lingering on the golden coating of the bucket handle.
“I- I’m aware of what I… what I have.”
“That’s always good.” Jin affirmed, standing up and placing the towel aside, eyes still not meeting the elder. “ I’d love to be something more, anything at all really. Could you imagine it? Kim Seokjin, famous country singer. Or how about Kim Seokjin, worldwide handsome? I like the ring of that.”
“Why…why would you want to do that? You’re young, all famous people get is overwhelmed.”
The younger spun around, almond eyes with a little sparkle in their eyes.
“I want to make others happy. Maybe in that, I can make myself happy too."
In an industry where he’d gotten used to lies and fabrications, he had never met someone with honesty that was somehow brutal yet humbling. Jeongguk bit back a smile.
“Th- That’s really sweet Jin. I admire that."
As the younger laughed cutely, he suddenly felt an urge to cup the younger’s cheeks, the cheeks that looked so smooth in the dim kitchen lighting.
“You’re sweet too, Jeongguk.”
He trailed back to the ruby red lips of the younger, the natural cupid’s bow perfectly shaped on top and the bottom lip so sweet and plush. Instinctively he drew closer, almost in a trance like state.
“Alright, stop daydreaming. You’ve got dinner soon, with your parents? The chefs have been preparing quite diligently, hyung.” Jin announced, fondly patting Jeongguk on the head. “We should talk another time.”
He gave a small wave, tucking in his shirt and bowing before exiting the room.
Later, at dinner, the Jeon family sat in typical silence. The table was filled to the brim with bright and lavish foods Jeongguk forgot the name of half the time, all decorated impeccably and only served on polished fine china. Sitting at the opposite end from his parents, he kept his gaze down as he cut up and scoffed down a slice of steak, hoping the sounds of cutlery clanging were enough conversation for them today. Looking up briefly, he saw his parents engaged in yet another discussion filled with harsh quips from his mother. She continued barking on monotonously about the “lack of new investors after the economic down turn” as his pitiful father could only open his mouth but never let out a single measly sound.
Accidentally, his eyes met his father’s. Jeongguk’s gaze hardened as it met one filled with defeat, silently begging for help like he hadn’t done it a million times before. It always happened, with a weak-willed man letting himself drown, and Jeongguk was personally more inclined towards sympathy than empathy.
So naturally, Jeongguk looked away, suddenly finding a potted plant in the corner oh so interesting.
He hated this atmosphere with a passion. It was constantly out to strangle him, tighten its grip on his neck and continue to squeeze until he sags to the ground, gasping for breath. Now, he can almost instinctually feel his mother’s gaze on him, her piercing stare like tendrils around his neck closing further and further in-
“Are you done with your food, young master?”
Jeongguk spun around, seeing a familiar pair of curious almond eyes, a hint of concern buried behind the sweet chocolate colour.
“Yes. Yes I am, thank you.”
He let his eyes linger as Seokjin quietly shuffled forward, collecting the porcelain with practised grace in one hand. Under the table, the younger squeezed Jeongguk’s hand gently before bowing politely, excusing himself down the dim hallway. Before he disappeared behind the door, he turned around briefly, flashing a soft smile. In the blanket of black, his smile shone with radiance.
“Hang in there!” he mouthed behind the sea of plates. In the blink of an eye, he vanished, the only evidence he was there the muffled sound of his footsteps as he walked down the halls.
Even as his mother grew louder and louder as her wine glass emptied, his mind kept wandering to the only ray of light he knew in his barren household.
As he sat at his desk the next morning, sorting through his father’s paperwork for the umpteenth time, his thoughts would still trail back to the young boy with broad shoulders, longing to hear that silky smooth voice and see that innocent smile once more.
So he did.
Ignoring his mother’s questioning, he started visiting him. At first it was once a week, later becoming twice a week until he gave up, entering the servant’s chambers every evening. Jin gave him a big, pretty smile each time he visited, one that could light up the skies. Jeongguk didn’t know a man have this effect on him before, so every time, he found himself falling down deeper and deeper. They dragged each other around the house, both of them simply bantering about themselves and their ambitions. Jeongguk absolutely spoiled Jin, so much that it was inherently obvious to even the old cleaning staff, bringing him back treats like sweet strawberry pastries or soft cotton clothing, each time trying to upstage himself.
Jeongguk wasn’t blind, seeing his mother’s watchful eye over him and the jealous stares of some of the staff, but at the same time, he knew they both enjoyed the attention. Once in a while, Seokjin would spoil Jeongguk in return as they hummed and sung along to random tunes from their childhood. Occasionally, he let the elder sling an arm loosely around his shoulder, or even wrap his hands around his dainty waist. The few times that happened, Jeongguk had to resist the strong urge to hug him tighter and press him up against a wall somewhere. His presence glowed brightly, his figure was so slim, and his waist so small Jeongguk could squeeze it with his hands, leading to his mind wandering more than once and Jin deciding he was incapable of holding proper, polite conversations. With a loud proclamation, Jin started his mission to make Jeongguk "more aware” and “less of a stupid punk who can’t take care of anything”, teaching him his shitty “life skills” his parents didn’t tell him as he went about his day.
They started with practising some basic conversation starters and communicating, Jin trying futilely to make sure Jeongguk doesn’t meet with possible investors looking like he’s 3 weeks chronically constipated and stiff with shock. Although he spent half the time insulting the elder, Jeongguk could never say no to anything he said, especially his small pout when he unintentionally said “like” for the 10th time in one sentence. When Jin finally declared his communication skills passable, they decided to move on to cooking, something Jeongguk was secretly interested in and Jin was actually quite good at. Additionally, Jin was slightly miffed that Jeongguk’s only memorable experience cooking was cracking (absolutely obliterating) an egg, and so, had begun to sneak him into the kitchen to try new recipes once in a while.
“What fat little fuck is a peach cobbler?” he mumbled aloud as Jin strewed the ingredients on the counter.
“I’m glad you’re comfortable around me, but no need to be so crude over food sweetie, especially not my grandma’s peach cobbler.” Jin scolded lightly. “In a peach cobbler you’ve got, well, peach filling, and it’s covered with some batter to make a nice crust. Then we bake it all. I don’t know how to describe it otherwise.”
“I just made my first chicken and pasta last week, isn’t baking a slight hazard to everyone?” Jeongguk commented suspiciously.
Jin grinned, “It’s not that difficult. Besides, I’m sure you’ll ap-peach-iate a nice, sweet dessert. Everything will go perfectly peachy, won’t it hyung?”
“Is that your favourite dad joke?
“I’m my dad’s favourite joke."
“Oh jesus. So uh, let’s cook this gunk.”
Slowly, they got to work, their shoulders brushing against one another as Jeongguk worked to skin and slice the peaches with Jin watching, or rather, bursting into bouts of laughter. After watching him struggle for a little longer, he took Jeongguk’s hands in his, tenderly guiding him to follow the natural indents of the fruit to peel its skin off. Jeongguk bit his lip, trying not to blush the whole way through at the feeling of delicate fingers on top of his own and praying Jin wouldn’t see that he actually cut himself a little because he got so flustered.
“You’re being pedantic, hyung, they’re just peaches. You keep looking behind me like a sad puppy. Why so finicky?” Jin pointed out, pursing his lips.
“I’m not being anything. Like you said, I’m cutting peaches. Plain and simple.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you keep tapping your feet or shifting around or looking behind me.” Jin maintained. “Unless… Hyung, don’t tell me you’re g- getting hot and bothered? Oh my god, were you looking at MY peach?!” he shrieked, the tips of his ears red.
“I’m not looking at your flat ass, Jinnie. You’re c- cute, but I’m literally just cutting peaches!”
“You’re deflecting! Ew, you definitely thought about it! You’ve thought about me like that! Also, my ass isn’t flat, it’s nicely shaped!” Jin cried, voice high-pitched.
“I’m peeling peaches-"
“That's why you kept looking behind me, I knew it!” Jin continued, hands coming around to cover his butt like an embarrassed teenager.
“Jin listen, please,” Jeongguk cut in, looking Jin in the eyes.
“…I’d tell you. I’d tell you if I wanted a p- peach of you.”
Jin stared at him in mock horror.
He then collapsed on the table with a loud thunk, wheezing wildly as he looked at the elder, who let out a chuckle too at the idiot rolling on the table. Dramatically, he slapped the table as tears threatened to leak from his eyes, laughing so hard he could barely stand.
“It’s not that funny, calm down Jinnie!"
“I can’t breathe, you’re so cheesy, hyung.” he cackled in return, pointing at Jeongguk.
“Nothing but the best for the best.”
After that night of many misunderstandings, Jeongguk resolved to take out Seokjin himself.
At dinner, despite his mother and father eyeing him constantly, he made no attempt at real conversation, inputting something random about stock prices to appease his father as he kept looking at the clock on the wall. Even as he drank down his soup, he kept tapping his feet nervously, looking towards the door. As he gulped down the final bit of clam chowder, he swiftly excused himself from the dining table, striding away and swinging open the door.
Jin, who was standing behind the dining hall door as promised, looked a bit flustered at his sudden appearance, jumping slightly before laughing it off. The black haired boy was about to greet him, but hastily, Jeongguk took his hand into his own, signalling him to stay silent with his other hand. He lead the younger down the wooden stairs towards the back door entrance, hand never leaving Jin’s own. His eyes flickered back to Jin as they approached the exit, smiling wholeheartedly as he saw his cheeks kissed pink, the rosy colour adorable against his pale skin as he turned to hide his face in his shoulders. Quietly, he unlocked the heavy door, shoving it with force as he pulled Jin closer to him.
“W- where are we going? I don’t think you mentioned anything about going outside?” Jin raised shyly, his smile a little nervous.
“It’s a surprise, Jinnie, just wait a little more.” Jeongguk reassured, his footsteps speeding up as they crossed over a tiny river, the younger rolling his eyes but still trailing behind him. Eventually, they reached a small lake hidden behind the greenery, the silver-blue water gleaming and sparkling as the moon shone down on it. Jeongguk let go of he other’s delicate hand, sitting down at the edge of the lake and patting the space besides him. Jin smiled fondly, kneeling down next to him as he took in the view.
“This is my safe space, I guess.” the elder whispered, looking out to the calm waters. “I like to come here when I want to clear my mind.”
“It’s beautiful, hyung.” Jin answered, expression softening under the moonlight.
“It really is.”
They sat in silence for a while, looking past towards the mountains far away and up at the stars as they enjoyed the cool night breeze. Jeongguk laid down on the grass, not caring about getting his dress shirt dirty, closing his eyes to enjoy the distant sounds of the natural fauna. His eyes peaked open as he felt Jin take his hand once more, a familiar warmth spreading throughout his body as the younger laid next to him, pulling their hands to his chest.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to show me this place. I can see why you love it.” he murmured softly, eyes unable to meet Jeongguk’s.
“You’re the only one I trust to down here, Jinnie. I’d do anything to see you happy.” he confessed in response, feeling heat growing in his own cheeks. “Well, I-”
“There’s a shooting star, hyung! Make a wish!” Seokjin cried out, immediately sitting upwards and closing his eyes, clasping his hands together in a prayer. Snickering, Jeongguk sat up himself, shutting his eyes as he thought of a wish.
I hope we can always be happy, just like this.
He opened his eyes. Unsurprisingly, the night sky was nothing out of the ordinary now that the shooting flash of light had disappeared, just the lonely moon and a few twinkling stars dotted here and there.
As he looked at the boy, who still kept his eyes shut firmly next to him, he found him brighter than any star out there.
Slowly, Jin’s eyes fluttered open, still fixated on the dark night above.
“So, what did you wish for, Seokjin?” he prompted, looking on eagerly.
“Hmm, I can’t tell you, cause then it won’t come true. I’d like it to stay true, you know?” Jin teased, eyes gleaming with something Jeongguk couldn’t properly decipher.
“Then I’ll keep my wish a secret too. In hopes it’ll come true.” Jeongguk responded, looking towards the lake once more. He squeezed Jin’s hand lightly.
“Is it… is it selfish of me to say I don’t want this night to end?”
“No. Not at all Jinnie, not at all.”
They returned at an ungodly hour in the morning, Jin’s fluffy hair sticking out in all the wrong places after he had freaked out from a bee landing on him, almost leaping onto Jeongguk in pure fear but giving the both of them a good laugh. On the way back, neither mentioned that they, two men, were holding hands again.
“Come to my room later, Jin. Stay with me.”
“I will. I promise."
They took their time in the calm darkness of the early morning, both grasping onto the light in their world as they escaped the chatter in their heads.
But Jeongguk was not a planner.
Silence in the household wasn’t out of the ordinary, but now, it was almost eerily so, the maids standing to the side like porcelain dolls as Mother stood in the shadows at the end of the hallway. Then again, he supposed he wasn’t much different either. He too was someone to dress up and play with.
Jeongguk tried to unravel their hands, but Jin doesn’t let go.
“You’ve always tried to upstage yourself, Jeongguk.” Mother said, her eyes boring intensely towards the man next to him. “First, you spoiled and pampered a servant like a princess. Then you fall into his bad influence and start…cooking, acting like some lower class caretaker. Now you’re sneaking out with him on some unusual escapade, and for what reason? For what reason do you choose to bring shame to yourself, and to others? You’re selfish, utterly selfish.”
“Aren’t we all, Mother? You’re being selfish right now.” he cut in, Seokjin still standing firmly by his side.
“Call me egotistical, but I am realistic. What are one man’s interests compared to an entire franchise? A business? A household?” she countered, voice filled with steel.
“You say this because your ideas of love are stone cold. You expect only to be served, not to serve in return, to claw into another until you can crush their voice and steal their last breath.” Jeongguk bit back, resolute.
“So you talk about love now? With another man, none the less? Do you intend to rob every last shred of my dignity? Of my brand’s integrity? You’re well aware I already have to deal with your failure of a father, no need for any more…distractions.”
“So you continue to talk only of yourself and tear at the pride of others?” Jeongguk refuted, irritated. “This conversation is over. You can continue your pursuits, and I will continue my own, and it shall stay that way.” he concluded, turning to take Jin far, far away from his Mother.
“Would you say that again, reminding you that I control who goes employed and unemployed in this household?”
“You wouldn’t dare-”
“I do dare, Jeongguk.” his mother proclaimed, looking directly at the boy next to him, whose grip on his hand tightened. “Because you must understand, your interests are hurting others, not just you.”
They didn’t see each other for the rest of that week.
Jeongguk was sent to do inspections at the factories with his father, and Seokjin was later demoted to laundry duties. He only caught a glimpse of the younger almost a week later, his heart breaking a little at his slightly dampened smile. The laundry was loud and incredibly hot as everyone rushed around frantically to avoid the wrath of their old supervisor. Jeongguk saw the inflamed burns on a maid’s hands and the loud, almost violent coughs near the steam machines, and he knew his Mother’s game at once.
He bit his lip painfully as he watched Seokjin scrubbing intently, his lithe body so tiny against the monstrous, rusty machinery. As his shift drew to a close, he excused himself to a corner near the back, wrapping and bandaging his ankle, tying it firmly before walking out gracefully like he hadn’t just been struggling to walk on his calloused feet. Then, the younger grinned and made a quick bow to farewell his supervisor, shuffling outside, only letting himself wince then.
Jeongguk didn’t miss the supervisor’s eyes linger on Jin’s silhouette, yet he couldn’t risk saying a word. He slammed his fist against the wall, ignoring the sting that was only a fraction of what Seokjin was enduring.
As midnight neared on Saturday, the time when Mother would empty yet another bottle of red wine, Jeongguk quickly snuck a note to the servant quarters, being all he could manage. Admittedly, it was short. He didn’t have the time, and he’s never been good with words anyways.
But Jin knew that, and he responded with his own bright charm on a worn slip of paper.
They communicated like this for a while. Mother slowly grew less fastidious as Jeongguk was forcefully immersed in the business, although his demeanour was evidently unhappy as his father tried to pretend they were suddenly the closest friends. However, he helped enough, a passing comment here and there about the spinning jenny’s efficiency sufficient in satisfying his parents, but deep down, he kept thinking past the cotton spools spinning round and round. He thought of the soft, pure cotton against Seokjin’s skin, of how he wanted to touch him again, not just receive the occasional comment on paper. They had never even had the time to discuss the nature of their relationship, where they stood in the grand scheme of things. The son of an upper class family with any form of relationship with someone of working class would always stand out, not to mention love.
Was it love?
He wasn’t sure. He had only known Jin for a relatively short period, but he made him warmth and comfort bloom in his chest. Man or woman, he wasn’t experienced nor cared enough to compare. But that didn’t matter. No one had ever made him feel like Seokjin did.
He made him happier, and he wanted to do the same for the younger. Every moment they spent together, he felt something sparking, lighting a fire in his chest, and he just wanted to share that with him, to make him feel valued and beautiful. With Jin, he felt safe and recognised, both free to fly and at home at the same time.
If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was.
His father attempted conversation with him again, acting painfully polite and all empathetic like he wasn’t just trying to satisfy his wife. He pestered Jeongguk with random questions like what Seokjin’s favourite food was, or if he would like a gift, questions that made Jeongguk inch closer and closer to snapping and hitting him.
As the spinning frame went round and round over and over again, he hoped it would break.
A glimmer of light came in the form of a new note, delivered to his doorstep on the weekend. It contained the little witty comments he expected, with cute hearts decorating the sides in his trademark squiggly handwriting. He kept reading until he reached the bottom, where the writing grew smaller.
Jeongguk’s heart pounded loudly in his chest.
-
“The laundry has enough workers to create an army, I won’t be missed. So I’ve asked to take leave on Sunday night to visit family. I wanted to die as my supervisor looked me up and down, but he eventually agreed.
I miss you. Your handwriting is a little ugly and you still don’t know how to use adjectives, but god I miss you so dearly. I want to hear your voice. I want to lay with you and curl into your chest. I want to hold you tighter and I want everyone to know that I’m yours. I want you with me.
On Sunday night, leave your window unlocked. I’ll come to you, please.
Yours truly,
Jin.”
-
Sunday afternoon was a fever dream. Father continued with his questions at the factory, and Jeongguk couldn’t remember if he was more courteous or more biting than usual. His heart was bouncing off the walls, and as he walked by the laundry, he struggled to resist the temptation to peek through and gaze through the sliver of light beaming through the door.
He had to be patient.
Later in his room, he lay on his bed wide awake, watching the hands of the clock tick by slowly. In the dead of the night, the walls and drapes looked like muted greys and blues, as if they too were waiting to bloom into colour. He waited for a knock, sitting up at any sound at the window. Jeongguk still didn’t know what he wanted to say, or rather, what he could muster enough courage to say to him. His mind was racing a million miles away, flashing images of the younger, from his cute laugh and smile, to his Adam’s apple or long, elegant fingers, Jeongguk simply wanted it all. Like a moth drawn to a flame, he wasn’t scared of the light anymore.
When he heard a tap at his window, that was enough for him to fly.
He leapt up from the bed, throwing open the windows to pull up the man he hadn’t seen for such a short yet long time. Even as Jin let out an undignified squeak, landing slightly off balance in the room, Jeongguk immediately wrapped Jin in his arms, throwing himself into his embrace. He buried his face into his neck, inhaling his familiar gentle scent, feeling the short strands of hair tickle his neck. He held him as tightly as possible, pressing them closer and closer to remind himself that Jin was with him, his body next to him and his warmth being shared with his own.
“You’re here, Jin, you’re here- I can’t believe you’re here.” he wept, his voice soft. He removed himself from Jin’s shoulders to look him in the eyes for the first time in a week, observing the new dark eye bags and small cut on the bridge of his nose. Tenderly, he kissed the cut, cupping Jin’s cheeks in his hands as he hoped his eyes could speak enough for him. Jin’s skin was soft in his hands, his contrasting dark hair gently framing his face as a smile crept up his face.
“Of course I’m here, I said I would be, Ggukie.” he whispered, laughing slightly. “What’s with the kiss?”
“I just… I missed you so damn much, Seokjin. Thank you, thank you for coming. ” Jeongguk revealed.
“I missed you too, I wanted to see you every day. It hurt, hyung, it hurt too much.” Jin cried, his voice cracking at the end.
“I’m sorry it hurt baby, oh god I’m so sorry. I’m here now, I’m here for you.” the elder vowed quietly, his eyes not leaving Jin’s for a second.
“It was so so bad, I was so scared cause i- it was so lonely and dark.”
Seokjin’s round eyes were glistening, his form shaking slightly as Jeongguk simply cradled him in his arms, both appreciating each other’s mere presence. Gently, Jeongguk wiped away a stray tear that leaked, his thumb grazing Jin’s cheek as he bit his own in an attempt to not burst into tears himself.
He was so beautiful. In every sense of the word. The spark of life in his eyes, the pure soul in his chest, his disarming presence, Jeongguk felt so greedy wanted to keep it all, to hold him in his hands.
He sat Jin down on the bed as his own tears came pouring out, not knowing what to do with himself or the younger. But Jin took him into his arms, resting his head against Jeongguk’s chest and nuzzling him with such intimacy Jeongguk had never experienced. They laid there in silence, only the sound of Jeongguk’s occasional small sniffles audible. He tried to calm down, focusing on the only other person in his world, but when their eyes met again, he felt a surge of emotions overcoming him, making him surrender to the younger’s embrace again. Jin held him firmly, planting a small kiss on his forehead. Quietly, Jin hummed a soft song, helping the elder relax slightly in his arms to the tune of his melodic voice.
“You are my Earth.
To you I’m just a moon, your little star that lights up your heart.
You are my Earth, and all I see is you.
The only thing I can do is gaze at you like this.”
He trailed off towards the end, seeing how Jeongguk’s sobs had died down. Slowly, he sat up in front of Jin, letting a hand reach out to graze his soft cheek once more.
“Hey, hyung?”
“Yes?”
“Remember when I talked about finding stuff, to make me happy?”
“What about it?”
“Singing is one of two times when I actually feel happy, I think. I don’t know why, but I really do like it. It’s soothing.”
“When is the other? What else makes you happy?”
“Being with you.”
Jeongguk’s breath hitched, taking in the sweetest expression he’d ever seen Jin with. His heart was leaping out of his chest, yet at the same time, he felt soothed to the soul. He wanted to wrap himself in Jin’s words and hold them forever, to keep them by his side.
“How about when you’re alone? How do you feel then?” Jeongguk started.
“A little empty, to be honest. I’ll have to work towards keeping myself in a good headspace. If… if I could do that, maybe I could then work towards being happy.” Seokjin murmured, looking downwards.
“What if I helped you?”
“H- how?” Jin asked, confused.
“You mean so much to me and I just- fuck, Jin, I hate it. I hate it because I can’t stand to see you hurt like this. Let me be something to you, anything. Just for the little bit when I’m with you, let me be a glimpse of light.”
“What do yo- what do you mean, hyung?”
“Seokjin, I- I really like you. I love you. Even if we are both men, even if I get shamed, I want to be by your side. I want to see your smile and hear your dumb jokes every day. I want to see you happy, and I want to see you love yourself the way I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with y-”
Jin moved to seal the gap in between them, tilting his head to press his lips against Jeongguk’s.
The elder’s eyes widened in surprise, but quickly fluttered shut as their lips brushed together once more, delicately. Jin slung his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, settling on his lap as Jeongguk wrapped an arm around his waist possessively. They pulled apart, a strand of saliva still connecting them, their foreheads touching as they both breathed heavily, cheeks tinted red.
“You’re so fucking pretty, Jin."
Jeongguk took control, unable to resist the younger’s plump lips, smashing their lips together desperately. Jin whined cutely in his arms, relaxing in his lap. Shyly, he pressed his tongue to the seam of Jeongguk’s lips, a silent beg for permission, only for Jeongguk to immediately delve further sloppily, the servant’s limp body quivering at the overflow of so many emotions. Jeongguk’s arms encircled him and Jin fell backwards onto the bed, Jeongguk almost covering him completely as he slid his thigh in between Jin’s legs. His tongue lightly massaged the other’s, swirling slowly, then sucking the servant’s plush bottom lip harshly, pulling away. Jin looked adorable so flustered, his hands coming up to cover his blushing face, but Jeongguk smoothly pinned them above him, making more space for himself between Jin’s legs. He kissed up Jin’s jawline, then began to trace his ear with his tongue, biting gently on his earlobe. This drew out a moan from Jin, who looked almost entirely overwhelmed.
“This i- is so embarrassing,” Jin admitted, voice quavering as he looked away.
“I love you, what’s embarrassing about that?”
Seokjin squealed again, covering his eyes with his hands as he rolled over to the side. Pouting, he complained softly, “I…love you too, Ggukie, but this is still so…so embarrassing!”
“We don’t have to do anything more if you’re uncomfortable, sorry. I was just a bit excited, I guess.” Jeongguk apologised straight away, beginning to move off of him, but Jin waved it off, taking his hand.
“I’m not uncomfortable! I promise, hyung. I just need to…calm down.” he explained. Jeongguk laughed, kissing his temple fondly.
“You’re so cute Jinnie, you’re like a virgin.” he joked, kissing Jin’s collarbone. He thought it was funny, but seeing how Jin completely froze up and his cheeks grew even more red, he realised his both fortunate and unfortunate mistake.
The elder began, “You’re really a…?”
“Yeah?! So what, hyung?” Seokjin yelped, grabbing a pillow to smack Jeongguk before he was stopped by larger hands.
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Jinnie.” Jeongguk confirmed, brushing hair away from his forehead.
“Exactly! I know enough to d- do stuff anyways! So just…take care of me, okay?” Jin begged endearingly.
“I promise I will baby. I’m gonna take you apart as slow as possible. I'm gonna ruin you, and I’m going to enjoy every cute whine and moan you make.” Jeongguk teased, his hand running up and down Jin’s thigh while the other bit his lip. “I’ll make you feel good. It’s even better you’re a virgin, I don’t want to share your body with anyone else. I’m going to mark you up and make sure everyone knows that you belong to me, and only me.
Would you let me do that?”
Jin simply replied with a small nod, opening his legs timidly. Jeongguk smirked, locking their lips in a kiss again and making the both of them let out a low groan. As they parted, Jeongguk sat him up, eyes not leaving him for a second. He slung off his shirt in an instant, tugging down his pants as he watched the younger fiddle with his buttons modestly. The elder felt a spark of arousal as the servant let his white blouse hang off his shoulder, revealing his unblemished, pale skin. Bashfully, Jin removed his shirt and slowly tugged off his pants and underwear, revealing his tapered waist and half-hard cock.
“God, you’re so cute everywhere.” Jeongguk muttered, reaching out to caress Jin’s chest, both hands on either side of the younger as he stroked up and down, feeling the gentle curve of his body. He was so slender, so perfect in his arms. He slid his hands up his thighs, bending down to give them a peck whilst deliberately ignoring the cute cock hardening in between his legs. Jin whimpered softly, melting in his hands.
“Touch…touch me, please~” he begged, reaching out.
“You’re always so cheeky towards me, but you’re just a needy baby in bed aren’t you? Nice to see you so soft and pliant, just for me.” Jeongguk teased, finally stroking the other’s length, making Jin cry out. He quickly paused to spit on his hand before returning to Jin’s dick, moving playfully. Jin’s thighs started shaking, his eyes watering slightly as he drew the elder in for another sweet kiss, placing his dainty hands on Jeongguk’s chest. They kissed messily, drool trickling slightly out of Jin’s mouth.
Honestly, Jeongguk wanted to absolutely defile him. He was so pure and untouched, so beautifully innocent.
The elder kissed at his neck, sucking lightly as Jin shook in his arms, his kisses trailing down to his chest, flicking his nipple lightly with his thumb. Seokjin buried his face into Jeongguk’s shoulder as he mewled, eyes rolling back. The servant’s hand slid down to the band of Jeongguk’s underwear, tugging at it eagerly.
“Ggukie, get out of your underwear.” he pleaded breathily. “I wanna help you too, please.”
Jeongguk kissed his forehead, protesting, “I want to spoil you first Jinnie, let me take care of-”
“Master, please~”
That beg went straight to the elder’s cock.
“C- Call me Master again, Jinnie.”
“Master, let me help you.” he mewled, crawling over to mouth over Jeongguk’s underwear, playing with the elder. Slowly, he pulled the soft fabric down, Jeongguk’s hard erection slapping against his chest.
“So b- big, Master.” the servant drooled. Jeongguk closed the gap between them once more, kissing Jin deeply.
The rest of that night, they surrendered themselves to each other. In between wet and lewd sounds of skin slapping against each other, there were soft proclamations of love, holding each other as close as they could. Jin dug his nails into Jeongguk’s back, babbling incoherently as the elder’s balls slapped against his tight, pink hole, letting himself cry out as the elder’s thick cock split him in two. He forgot all about his embarrassment, desperately moaning and whimpering for kisses every two seconds amongst the wet squelching. Jeongguk himself couldn’t keep his eyes off Jin’s blissed out expression, each moan making him thrust harder and harder.
Eventually, the heat in Jeongguk’s stomach built up, and with a few final rough thrusts, he came inside of the younger, painting his walls white as he fucked through his orgasm. Jin came right after, cum spurting and dribbling down his cock onto his stomach.
“You did so good, you’re so pretty Jin.” Jeongguk huffed out, rolling down to lie next to the younger. He wiped away at sweat dripping down his forehead as Jin tried to pull the covers over himself shyly, still not looking Jeongguk in the eye as he let out small puffs of air.
“Hey come on now, you’re gonna ignore the person who just took your virginity?”
“I- I’m not! Don’t say that!” Jin squeaked, slapping Jeongguk’s bare chest. The elder grinned evilly, grabbing the blanket and tugging it down, revealing the servant’s naked body again. His eyes trailed down to his hole, now a crimson red, that had cum slowly trickling out and down the sides of Jin’s supple thighs. Jin flushed bright red as the white, thick liquid spilled out onto the bed, and Jeongguk let out a satisfied groan.
“You’re so fucking hot, I love it.” Jeongguk observed, voice raw. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Jeongguk-hyung.”
The elder laid the servant down in his bed, resting his limp body on the soft pillows. He opened his thighs, grabbing a cloth to wipe away the cum flowing out of his little hole. Jin whined, Jeongguk kissing his ankle to soothe him. Afterwards, he pulled the blanket over the two of them and wrapped his arms around the younger’s tiny frame, Seokjin doing the same as he cuddled into his warm chest. Jin pressed a kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek, giggling.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Jeongguk questioned.
“Mm, just tired, this week felt so long.” the younger returned, leaning his head on his chest.
“I’m happy you’re here.” the other replied honestly.
“…Hey, hyung?”
“Mm?”
“I love you. So, p- promise me you won’t leave? You’ll love me no matter what happens?”
“Of course, I’ll protect you whenever, wherever. I promise.”
They slept in each other’s arms that cold night, both having their first good night of sleep in a long time, dreaming of each other even as they lay asleep. When they woke up in the morning, Jeongguk wouldn’t let Jin go without leaving way too many kisses, eyes flickering back to the clock and the door frantically. Eventually, as the sun continued to rise, his boyfriend took his leave, taking one of Jeongguk’s warm scarfs with him. He waved from outside the window, blowing a kiss teasingly, then finally, he left, disappearing into the woods.
Although they were in hiding, they were at peace. Seokjin did his daily work at the laundry with a little bounce in his step and Jeongguk continued his duties supervising the factories, and at the end of each long week, they’d meet again in night, one tap to the windowsill the gateway to their light. Seokjin made more friends around the laundry, all of them spreading the latest gossip and betting on which rich lady would end up pregnant next, much to Jeongguk’s amusement. Thanks to Jin, Jeongguk himself opened up a little more to his father despite being initially apprehensive. Their rounds around the factory were less monotonous, filled with more extensive comments and light conversation.
“I’m glad you’ve started talking to me more, son.” Father said to him one day. “I was afraid you’d keep growing farther and farther away from me.”
“Just thought it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Jeongguk mumbled, looking down at the ground with a faint smile.
“What made you…want to try?” his father pondered aloud, his smile a little weary.
“Someone close to me said that it wasn’t good to leave things unsettled, to give things a little shot instead of immediately deeming it as impossible.” Jeongguk answered.
“Do I know this person?” the grey haired man enquired.
“Not very well, but you do, Father.” he told the elder.
“Is it… is it that boy, by any chance? The servant boy?”
Jeongguk didn’t respond, keeping his expression neutral, but that was an answer in itself.
“He’s got a s- strong influence on you, doesn’t he? You started looking happier a couple weeks back.” his father chuckled. “That’s all that really matters, Jeongguk.”
“Really?” Jeongguk asked. “Is that what matters to you?”
“Of course, of course my son.” Father responded. “Now what was his favourite food again?”
“Not the random questions again Father, I didn’t want a job interview…” Jeongguk laughed, rolling his eyes at his father’s ridiculousness. “But it’s noodles. Any noodles. Black bean noodles or glass noodles, he likes them all. He looks…really cute when he’s scoffing down his food.”
“Cute, huh…”
Jeongguk ended that day with a smile on his face and a bundle of Jin in his arms, the both of them quietly lounging in the elder’s room with Jin trying to tie Jeongguk’s growing hair. He tried to be quiet, but as the servant kept prancing around trying to pull at his hair, he may have let out a few surprised screeches. Eventually, they settled down, Jeongguk’s hair tied back with a thick rubber band and a ribbon slapped across Jin’s forehead. They talked until they fell asleep, keeping safe under the covers. Jin made out with him under the blanket prior to leaving in the morning, making sure Jeongguk was warm for the day before waving and scuttling away once more.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
The next week the couple had planned to sneak into the kitchen, like old times, the place now even more special as both of them were permanently banned from it. As Jeongguk ate his meal, Jin waited patiently for the cooks finished cleaning up before sliding in, planning to set up all the materials before Jeongguk came. Throughout dinner, Jeongguk’s eyes were fixed on the hands of the clock on the wall ticking by slowly, waiting for time to pass. In doing so, he missed the gleam in his mother’s eyes and the awkward posture of his father, who paid no more mind to him than usual.
“There haven’t been any obstacles to our business lately, have there, dear?”
“Not at all, honey.”
Pretending to head into his room, Jeongguk quickly bolted down the hallway to the kitchen, knocking 3 times before opening the door. Jin didn’t reply, but the elder head in anyways, figuring the younger was probably daydreaming or getting lost in random recipe ideas again.
He should have known so much better.
“JIN! SEOKJIN!”
Laying on the floor motionless was the servant, not a sound or even a breath from his lips. Instead, his expression was frozen in a panic, the whites of his eyes yellowed and pupils widened. His purple mouth looked almost forced open, saliva frothing out and smearing all over his white shirt.
On the kitchen counter, alone, was a telltale plate of noodles.
At that moment, Jeongguk’s heart felt so painstakingly empty, the sheer nothingness threatening to swallow him alive. Yet at the same time, his heart was filled to the brim with grief, anger bubbling up and overflowing in torrents. His chest sunk as he approached Seokjin, burning and sinking him down further and further.
He needed to scream, he needed to hit something, he needed to close his eyes and pretend he never saw anything at all, he needed-
He needed Jin.
Jeongguk broke into a raw sob, crying violently as he held his thin body in his arms. He hugged the beautiful boy and cradled him close to his chest, kissing his forehead over and over, hoping for even a hint of a response. He couldn’t stop wailing, tears flooding down his face down his face wildly as the despairing reality of the situation slowly started to settle.
Hopeless, loveless, lifeless, he felt his stupid heart being forcefully ripped out and torn to pieces, trampled on and played with like a useless toy. He was so immensely crushed and suffocated in his own house he couldn’t form a coherent thought in his head, feeling the hole in his soul grow.
“I CAN’T, NO NO, MY FUCKING GOD NO, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THIS?” he yelled between his sobs, cradling the precious body tightly.
“HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THIS? HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS? HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU, YOU ASS HOLE? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO SOMEONE SO YOUNG, AND SO BEAUTIFUL, AND SO PURE?
WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN ME?”
Truth be told he didn’t know who to curse: his father, his mother, Jin, or himself. It was a mix of all his negative emotions at once, shooting him down one by one with no one left behind to protect him.
“JIN, PLEASE, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH, YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, BABY PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU!”
He didn’t know what he could do. How could he live without his main motivation? How could he have let the only person he’s ever loved be hurt because of him? How could he deal with himself? Flashes of Jin’s soft hamster cheeks, his soothing voice, and the warmth of his embrace were the final straw, and he just felt himself shatter.
“I JUST WANTED TO MAKE HIM HAPPY, JUST ONCE! WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO F-FUCKING ASK FOR?!” he cried, falling onto the ground next to his lover. Jeongguk took his hand into his own, watching his light fade right before his eyes as tears blinded his vision. He kissed the dainty fingers that once radiated so much warmth, trying to keep Seokjin warm in the freezing cold, holding him as close to him as he could. He let himself cry, letting the darkness overcome him as he sunk deeper and deeper underwater.
It was getting dark.
He was so lonely.
-
The next time he met him, he was below looking above.
Jeongguk had no prior memories other than a desperate urge to sing, perform, and get his name out there. It became an outlet growing up, a self-indulgence he wanted to use to spread a little joy to others. This time, his parents were sweet and supportive, letting him sing wherever he went. When anyone asked him why he loved singing so much, he always paused before responding with the same answer.
It just made him feel happy.