Chapter Text
Becoming the leader of a unit of idols wasn’t something Aoba Tsumugi ever thought would happen to him. He supposed it didn’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things. Individual or unit being an idol at Yumenosaki didn’t really mean all that much anymore. Perhaps there was a time when everyone worked hard but those days were long gone and the few people who still worked hard were singled out and bullied relentlessly. One time Tsumugi had come across a group of guys ganging up on some poor kid with glasses. It wasn’t his place to interject, all he would do was incur the delinquents ire. He vaguely knew the poor kid from his class and he did feel badly for ignoring the scene of bullying but he reasoned that there was nothing to be done about it. Scenes like these were common. Bullying, destruction of school property, and overall laziness.
This was the norm in Yumenosaki. Thugs ruled the school. The student council and the teachers didn’t have the power to control the rampage. Things would be changing soon though. Tenshoin Eichi had enlisted Hasumi Keito and himself to create a change. It had started with naming the five oddballs. Raising five people high above everyone else to be seen as beyond human. Tsumugi had hoped it would encourage everyone to work hard, giving a bunch of idols an idol so to speak. It seemed it didn’t quite work that way and the oddballs got bullied along with anyone else who tried too hard.
This year would be different though. Eichi had become student council president, replacing Sakuma Rei, and Eichi had plans and Tsumugi was to help him. It filled the easy going lad with a sense of purpose. If he could be Eichi’s weapon that would change the world then he didn’t care if he ended up rusted and broken. Even if everyone else grew to hate him it would be okay if Eichi continued to smile at him and call him friend.
Tsumugi would be the leader of Fine and manage their fellow second years, Tomoe Hiyori and Ran Nagisa. Eichi would be the student council president and clear their path for them while Keito and his unit Akatsuki would work from the shadows to take out any enemies before they became a real threat. The poor students had no idea that a war was already brewing. Only the oddballs had a clue but no one would side with them anymore, they were pariahs. Tsumugi was able to live with being the villain because he believed it was all for the end goal. The ends justify the means. Even if he was all alone he was all alone with the rest of Fine.
The beginning of their second year seemed to start off easy. Tsumugi was in charge of getting Nagisa and Hiyori to show up to practices and lessons. They naturally shined and Tsumugi did his best to support them so they could show off their radiance. It would be the usual when they start going after the oddballs. It was important for them to all know their roles in the unit and to match themselves up as best they could. Hiyori and Nagisa seemed to naturally fit together well. For his part Tsumugi believed that he and Eichi also fit naturally together. It was just mixing the two couples together into a four person team that proved difficult and so he suggested they try something one day after practice.
“Hiyori-kun, you’re always spending all of your time with Nagisa-kun.” He began, feeling only a small bit of nervousness when his unit mates all looked at him. He was seen as a jellyfish most times so for him to speak his mind must have startled them. “I think that Nagisa-kun should spend time with Eichi-kun and that you and I should spend time together.” he finished.
“Oh?” Hiyori smiled, teasing and catlike. “Is this your subtle way of saying you’re tired of mooning over Eichi-kun and you wanna get with a real man?”
His answer left Tsumugi blushing and sputtering while Eichi gave the greenish haired man a look that could kill. “Oh? Is that what you call yourself? And here I thought you were some kind of mollusk.”
“Ah, ah, d-don’t fight. This is why I didn’t suggest you two hang out together. Nagisa-kun and I already get along as best we can," Given that Nagisa seemed to look down at Tsumugi whenever he acknowledged his existence. In reality Tsumugi just knew trying to befriend Nagisa anymore would just result in nothing. "and I don’t think any amount of time together will make you two get along but we can’t get any better if we keep staying in the same two groups.” Tsumugi quickly interjected before the two rich boys could really fight it out. Nagisa of course wasn’t going to interpret, Tsumugi was half convinced the boy was daydreaming. “So I’ll spend time with Hiyori-kun and Eichi-kun will spend time with Nagisa-kun, okay?”
“Hmph, I guess I’m not opposed. After all, I know Nagisa-kun would never cheat on me.” Hiyori chirped, grinning again like he had somehow won a great prize.
Tsumugi felt a small twinge of regret, was spending so much time with Hiyori really a good idea? He felt a little tired already. It was so that Fine could be stronger though and he had to remind himself of that. If it was Eichi’s movement then Tsumugi would endure. And so as practice ended Tsumugi walked home with Hiyori instead of Hiyori walking with Nagisa. Nagisa and Hiyori lived together so they’d still have plenty of time for each other. This way the people in their unit who weren’t as close could try and get better at breathing together. They would do this for the rest of the spring. Tsumugi walking Hiyori to his home and then to his own and Nagisa walking with Eichi to his home before meeting back up with Hiyori.
After about two weeks of spending time with Hiyori during lunch, after practice, and walking home the young man invited Tsumugi over to his house after school instead of splitting up.
“You’re the one who said we needed to bond.” is what Hiyori said when Tsumugi questioned it. He had suggested it and he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to go to the Tomoe house. He just felt a little uncomfortable. It's not as if he hadn’t been to Eichi’s house before but he still felt out of place going to such large mansions. It always felt like he was an invader or like anything he touched would somehow lose its value.
“Don’t worry, my parents and brother are overseas right now. I have the whole house to myself!” Hiyori kicked off his shoes at the entrance before doing a spin with his arms out to fully accept his home alone status.
Tsumugi laughed nervously. “Ah, Hiyori-kun were you lonely all by yourself, is that why you wanted me over?” he didn’t think it was really the case but the look he got from Hiyori made him wonder if he was right. Even if Hiyori didn't say it Tsumugi knew Nagisa also wasn't home. The enigmatic youth was in Kyoto with the rest of his class. Hiyori was likely lonely since the school had decided to split the two second year classes into two separate trips and so he was unable to spend that time with Nagisa.
“You know, you act like you’re a nobody and that probably plays well with our enemies so they think less of us and underestimate us but you’re actually sharper than you look aren’t you?” Hiyori mused, his smile playful still as he led Tsumugi back into his bedroom. The young man flopped himself on his bed, flailed out before rolling over to watch Tsumugi nervously settle down on the floor. “Why are you in Fine anyway?”
“Huh?" The question caught him off guard.
“Why are you in Fine, Tsumugi-kun? Nagisa-kun and I signed a contract. We’re here because it benefits us socially and financially. It’s not the same for you though is it. You’re here for a personal reason right?”
“Eh? Eh? I-I-I’m not sure what you mean, Hiyori-ku--” He was caught off by Hiyori suddenly rolling up from his bed.
“You’re in love with Eichi-kun, right?”
The question was so blunt and brazen and it left Tsumugi’s head spinning. Hiyori had made jokes before about him 'mooning' over Eichi, but to have it asked so directly was completely different. He opened his mouth to deny the accusation but his voice choked. He had felt something for Eichi ever since they first met. It wasn’t a feeling he had a name for. He just knew that Eichi needed him and being needed was something he wasn’t used to. His parents didn’t need him, his brother didn’t need him, his classmates and ‘friends’ didn’t need him, but Eichi did. It was such a strong feeling that Tsumugi assumed all this time it was loyalty or gratitude but Hiyori’s question brought so many things into perfect clarity. Oh gods, he was in love with Eichi.
It seemed Hiyori was smiling like the cat that ate the canary while Tsumugi was left with his mouth hanging open trying to remember how to use language. “I, that’s, I-I’m not sure why that would be important, Hiyori-kun.”
There it was, not a rejection nor a lie but a redirect. Hiyori just chuckled and slid himself off his bed in order to sit across from Tsumugi. “Because, like you said I’m lonely and I’m bored.” he offered with a wink and a smile that held more than enough mischief. “I was thinking that if you liked Eichi-kun then it’d be kinda fun to steal you and if you didn’t then you might prove to be a fun distraction.”
“E-Eh? I-I don’t think I’m following very well. I-I thought you and Nagisa-kun…” he trailed off too embarrassed to bring it to words or to acknowledge that Hiyori was most definitely making a ‘move’ on him. This hadn’t been what he intended when he suggested they become closer as a unit.
Hiyori rolled his eyes with a huff as if Tsumugi was the most dense person in the entire world which was possibly true. “Nagisa-kun and I aren’t exclusive or anything. He accepts my open nature. I’m suggesting that we have some fun. You think I’m handsome right, Tsumugi-kun?”
It seemed Hiyori had a special gift for asking questions that threw Tsumugi for a loop and when the greenish blonde leaned closer into Tsumugi’s personal space he was quick to agree. “Y-Yes, of course you’re very handsome. I-I-”
“Don’t think about it too much,” Hiyori offered, his smile taking on a gentle side as he placed his hand on Tsumugi’s thigh and when the other boy didn’t pull away he leaned his face in. Meeting the amber eyes of his unit mate to make sure he wasn’t entirely freaked out before closing his eyes and lying his lips briefly on the other’s. Tsumugi didn’t kiss back to which Hiyori took no offense. He was putting the poor boy through the emotional ringer. The flirty young man pulled back to gauge the blue boy's reaction. “We can date secretly if you want or…” his smile took on a dark hint again and Tsumugi shuddered despite himself, blinking trying to remember how this came about. “We could let our classmates know, including Eichi-kun. Maybe if he thinks you’re unattainable he’ll finally notice you.” he offered as he leaned back again to let Tsumugi decide.
It was a lot to take in all at once. He had spent his school days unaware of his attraction to Eichi. He knew that he liked boys, a certain devilishly handsome senior last year had introduced him to his first boy crush. Even so, it wasn’t like he really thought he could do anything to pursue Eichi. They were preparing to fight a war together, they had no time for romance. Yet Hiyori’s suggestion also seemed both outlandish and nice. Tsumugi had steeled himself to the idea that he was going to lose a lot of people this way and even if Eichi really never did see him as anything more than his sword it would be nice to have a companion. Perhaps the dull ache of loneliness would be filled by Hiyori’s idea. If nothing else Tsumugi was a natural people pleaser and easy going person so it wasn’t like he had any strong objections to dating Hiyori anyway.
“We’re still idols, Hiyori-kun. We need to be smart about this.” Tsumugi warned but Hiyori just responded by laughing and leaning back in to kiss Tsumugi again, this time the blue haired boy kissed back.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be smart, promise.” He suggested before moving in a way to readjust Tsumugi’s face. “But first we gotta practice your kissing. You’re such a clear armature. You’ll never win over Eichi-kun with such a poor technique. Just consider me your kissing sensei.” the boy winked leaving Tsumugi blushing and unable to form a proper rebuttal before Hiyori was kissing him again.
Dating Hiyori turned out to not be too much different from not dating him outside of a few small changes. Tsumugi still performed his normal daily routine without much fanfare. The difference primarily occurred when they were together as a unit. Hiyori would dot on Tsumugi and make sure he was rested or had water. They would share kisses in the hallway, hold hands, and Hiyori would come over to Tsumugi's desk and lean on it whenever Eichi was around. For Tsumugi he started to wonder if this would really make Eichi jealous of it it was just a fun way for Hiyori to get on Eichi's nerves more so than normal. Outside of school they walked home casually and when they got back to Hiyori's home it was a mix of Tsumugi trying to get them to study and do homework and Hiyori trying to kiss Tsumugi more and get him to unwind and 'let off some steam'.
A little over a month of 'dating' Hiyori and Eichi came to the library to help Tsumugi with his committee duties. Their conversation was light and casual, Tsumugi putting away books while Eichi flipped through one until Eichi finally got to the heart of why he was here. “You and Hiyori-kun seem close.”
“Well, yes, that was the purpose of splitting the four of us up so we could connect better. Are you not getting along well with Nagisa-kun?” He asked as he climbed down from the ladder without incident to meet Eichi’s gaze.
“We get along yes, I just couldn’t help but notice that you and Hiyori-kun seem closer than just friends.”
Once again Tsumugi was unable to deny the truth nor try out a lie and redirected instead. “We’re comrades in arms preparing for the fight of our lives, aren’t we? I’m also close with Eichi-kun.” he offered and his wishy washy way of speaking seemed to work because Eichi just sighed and closed his book, handing it to the young man.
“Just be sure to not let this affect our performances. I won’t allow anyone to ruin our plans.” He warned, his gaze stern before he turned to leave.
Tsumugi wasn’t quite sure if that was the kind of attention he had wanted from Eichi. There was no way anything was going to prevent them from taking action soon. His relationship with Hiyori was casual and ‘fun’. Those were the other boy’s words and Tsumugi knew that he couldn’t let any feelings or lack thereof keep him from fighting by Eichi’s side.
Despite Eichi’s worries they grew stronger as a unit and while they remained seen as the ‘underdogs’ they were being seen in a favorable light even as the oddballs were being scorned. Tsumugi wanted to visit Natsume during this time but was kept busy with his unit activities and with ‘dating’ Hiyori. When he did get a chance to see the redhead he was almost always with a fellow oddball or two or with a strange orange haired boy in his class. Tsumugi contented himself with the idea that Natsume was fine and that he had others to care for him. After all, they were going to create the greatest happiness for the greatest number. So be it if a few dreams got crushed along the way.
With spring past Eichi was ready to move and challenged the reigning champions, Valkyrie. Even though Valkyrie was falling out of favor and Fine was gaining strength it was still nerve wrecking leading up to the live. Tsumugi was in the same club as most of Valkyrie and even though Nazuna wasn’t in the club he was often around because the rest of them were. Tsumugi knew them and would even call them friends. Undying loyalty to Eichi came above all else and Tsumugi was able to tell himself that they would be fine even after they lost. Tsumugi hadn’t expected the ‘malfunction’ and was unable to hear what Eichi told Shu that hurt him so greatly. For a brief wavering moment Tsumugi felt like maybe this wasn’t right but then Eichi had taken his hand and they were on stage and Valkyrie’s woes were pushed to the back of his mind as they won their first victory against the oddballs and solidified their hold on the school.
After that, Tsumugi's rare visits to the handicrafts club became nonexistent. He wasn't dense enough to think that his presence would be welcome. Shu didn't come to school very much at all after his loss. Nazuna and Mika were shaken as well. If Tsumugi reached his hand out to them now it would be slapped away as the best case scenario. Tsumugi vented these mixed feelings to Hiyori one night at his house. He was sat down beside Hiyori's bed and the man in question was playing with some strands of his dark hair.
"I didn't hear what Eichi-kun said either but it seemed like he really wanted to take on Valkyrie, huh? He's always talking so highly of Hibiki-kun but when it comes to the others he can be quite nasty. It's not cute at all." Hiyori lamented which earned a weak smile from Tsumugi. "Honestly, I still don't get how you can love such a jerk when you have someone pretty and wonderful right here."
This time Tsumugi let out a weak chuckle. "Nagisa-kun is number one in Hiyori-kun's heart and Eichi-kun is number one in mine. That makes sense doesn't it?" he offered and Hiyori sighed dramatically cause it did indeed make sense but he still didn't get how Tsumugi could like Eichi so much.
"So like, you feel guilty for hurting Shu-kun and the others?"
"Hmmm no, not quite. I think we're doing the right thing and I'm sad to see them hurt but I don't regret beating them. It's more like I hope they can move past this and smile again. Wars don't last forever, after all."
He turned his head to smile at Hiyori who used this chance to duck down and kiss him. "Maybe you and Eichi-kun really are meant for each other. Neither one of you makes a whole lot of sense but at least you've gotten better at kissing." the greenish blonde male slid himself off of his bed and into Tsumugi's lap, making a show of tossing the book that had been there previously.
"Ah, Hiyori-kun is being clingy again." Tsumugi laughed before letting out a surprised gasp when the man he was just teasing took a fist full of his hair and yanked his head back. "A-Ah H-Hiyori-kun, t-that hurts."
"Oh? So you do feel pain. I had been curious about that." Hiyori's smile didn't match his eyes and Tsumugi gasped again this time when Hiyori planted his lips on his neck.
"E-Eh? H-Hiyori-kun w-what are--?"
Hiyori released his hair, letting the hand slide down the back of his neck instead. "Distracting you." he mused and placed another light kiss on his neck, liking the way Tsumugi's face burned. "Don't think, just feel. You've never had sex, right? Just tell me when something doesn't feel right or you want me to stop."
"S-sex?! H-Hiyori-kun y-you don't have to do that!" Tsumugi protested, placing his hands on Hiyori's hips to attempt to push him out of his lap but Hiyori held on tighter.
"I know I don't have to. I want to." Hiyori purred against his neck and it made Tsumugi shudder. He couldn't deny that Hiyori was attractive and that he was interested in the idea of sex and in forgetting about these nagging feelings. Hiyori was the more skilled one here so he could ease himself in Hiyori's hold and text his mother later to let her known he was sleeping over a friend's house.
It seemed like Fine became even busier after Valkyrie was subdued. Classes, lessons, practices, library duties, and keeping up his farce with Hiyori took all of his time. The fact his farce now included a decently regular sex life didn't help him with having any time on his hands. Without any help from Fine the oddball Shinkai Kanata had fallen, thankfully in a less bloody way than Shu. Rei was out of the country more often than not and posed little risk. Perhaps due to Tsumugi’s bias towards Natsume he was left out of the loop when Eichi ensured that he was declawed. By the time they were facing off against the final oddball the summer and fall had flown by. It was hard to believe that all their hard work was going to pay off.
It was the day of the final showdown when someone unexpected appeared before Tsumugi. He was with Eichi, discussing the live they would have that night as well as Tsumugi worrying about Eichi's health when the conversation took a turn when Eichi spotted someone by the bulletin boards. Laying eyes on the dark haired prince caused a thrill inside of Tsumugi and he abandoned Eichi to run over to Rei and call out to him. "Oh, Rei-kun! Rei-kun! It feels like it's been a while! Didn't you go to England?"
The elder boy turned to him and without missing a beat demanded Tsumugi hand over his glasses so he could better read the board. "Hand 'em over. My eyes've been gettin' pretty bad lately, and I can't make out what this damn poster says."
Tsumugi laughed lightly. "It's been a while, and yet you immediately and arrogantly order me to do something! Oh jeez, you're such an ore-sama character, Rei-kun! How cool!" It had been so long but the two of them easily feel back into their normal way of things. Rei was still Rei and Tsumugi was still Tsumugi. Right now they were just that and not an oddball and Fine. It was pleasant. "But I'm sorry. I have so many lessons and live shows piling up these days, I don't even have the time to read properly...so I don't have my glasses on me."
"Huh, that so? Pity... you and glasses made such a bad match, it was hilarious." Of course Rei always made a chance to make fun of him. Though Eichi and Hiyori had both said almost the same thing whenever they saw him with his glasses on. "Anyways, looks like you're seein' a lotta success for a bean sprout. Nice, nice... I've got a higher opinion of you now.I knew you could do anything if you put your mind to it."
Hearing praise from Rei of all people made Tsumugi's inside feel warm and tingly. He was so revered and famous, for someone like that to constantly want to be around someone like Tsumugi was a wonder in and of itself but his praise also felt pleasant even if it was misplaced. "Thank you very much! Oh, but I'm nothing!" he laughed sheepishly. "I'm always dragging down everybody in Fine."
"If you're aware of that, try harder. That's how humans for their footprints on the moon, but huh..." Tsumugu tried to follow what Rei said but he wasn't sure who 'that boy' was and what this was about writing and quitting. It wasn't until Rei smiled at him and asked his help with a kanji that Tsumugi really focused back in.
"Oh um, let's see that's Ah! R-rei-kun!?" Startled as Rei used this chance of Tsumugi getting close to him to wrap his arms around his torso. Rei's hands on his chest and his breathe on his neck sending tingles up and down Tsumugi's spine. The only over person that had been this close into his personal space was Hiyori but it was a completely different feeling. Tsumugi found himself holding his breath as Rei spoke.
"Gotcha~ You really gotta be more alert, y'know. You're so easy I'm almost repulsed. Aren't 'cha Yumenosaki's peak... "fine"? You should learn to defend yourself, 'cause who knows what kinda malice you're gonna get exposed to? There are plenty of terrible and scary people in this world. You're gonna have an awful time." It was likely meant was a warning but when Rei then proceeded to tickle him it just felt like Rei was teasing him again. He laughed and squirmed in Rei's hold. Being like this was something normal and pleasant and something he hadn't realized he missed. He was about to say as much when Rei stilled his fingers again, holding Tsumugi closer this time, Tsumugi could feel his face warming as he also felt Rei's chest on his back, unable to see Rei's expression but hearing a strange emotion in his voice. "Well, I dunno what 'awful' would be like for you."
His tone was somber and his words were soft within Tsumugi's ear. "You're creepy as always...What, you experienced so many bad things that there's nothing left of you to hurt?"
No, that wasn't true.
"Even when I got you bungee jumping off the roof that one time, all you did was say 'That was the first time I saw my life flash before my eyes!' like you were tryin' to think positive or something."
Thinking positive is important! If I don't then--!
"What are you, the main character of a book for children? If you keep actin' like that, you're gonna lose somethin' important of yours one day."
Don't say that...
"Or maybe you've already lost it...? Bein' unable to feel even pain is the same as bein' dead, y'know?"
Yes, I know.
"Is your idiocy incurable even in death, aahn?"
Perhaps it was.
Ah, talking with Rei wasn't good for him. The warmth he felt in his chest had been iced over and he felt like little pieces of him were being taken away. He was grateful for their position so Rei couldn't see his face. Tsumugi wasn't sure what expression he was wearing but he was sure he wasn't smiling. How could he smile when it felt like he had just been torn to shreds.
Thankfully he wasn't alone and he could hear Eichi telling Rei about the new rules. It almost felt like he wasn't in his body anymore, vacantly watching Eichi and Rei share an exchange while he was deep in this thoughts until Rei got too close to Eichi and Tsumugi went to his side as soon as Rei left. He wasn't sure what had happened but when Eichi collapsed he made sure to take him to the infirmary to rest. His mind was still spinning and his absent mind took him to a certain secret room to have a very interesting conversation with someone else he held dear to his heart.
He had always known that the way of war was blood-soaked and lonely and likely to get him to loss everything. That was why he didn't mind taking all of Natsume's insults and slings. He was in pain and like a good, kind, caring older brother Tsumugi listened to him and tried to make him understand. He told Natsume the same thing he so often told himself.
It was a necessary sacrifice — and we kept it at a minimum...'Please endure it. Please accept it. That is all I can say, as there is no use apologizing. No matter what kind of terrible situation you may be in, it will work out as long as you're alive..... That is what I want to believe. So even if anybody in the world slanders Eichi-kun or curses him, even if they throw stones at him, before that happens I will stand in their way as his friend. If you hate me, Natsume-kun, I won't mind it if you punch me. Because I will treat it like it's another one's affairs... and won't feel a thing no matter what anybody does to me.
Perhaps he really was dead already.
After speaking with both Rei and Natsume something had begun nagging at Tsumugi and he brought up the contracts that bound all the Fine members to Eichi. The fact he brought it up while Eichi was 'mooning' over Wataru had nothing to do with it. The sparks of jealousy he felt seeing Eichi and Wataru together was not something he would allow himself to feel. Instead he questioned the contracts and how he would be let go from Fine after this live. The truth that Eichi truly thought of him the same as the others was unexpected. He thought that his love and devotion might get rewarded but somewhere along the lines things had gotten blurred and misunderstood. The dull ache that Tsumugi had thought Hiyori would be able to help soothe seemed to grow in size over a single conversation. Tsumugi doubted he ever felt so lonely before in his life. Someone else’s words faintly echoed in his mind.
‘If you keep actin' like that, you're gonna lose somethin' important of yours one day.’
Ah, how foolish he was. He had let himself be carried around by the pleasant flow of war and before he realized it he was covered in ugly wounds with no one to care about him. Why would they when he had been Eichi’s sword and killed each and every person. Love truly was blind.
More than anything at this very moment Tsumugi felt like crying like a baby. How long had it been since he felt such intense emotions? Something that was purely himself, something that felt so painful that he thought he might die on the spot. Eichi would never reciprocate his feelings of love, Eichi hadn’t even viewed him as a true friend this whole time. Someone like Hiyori who had known Eichi since childhood likely knew that they were all just pawns and had also made use of Tsumugi for his own ends. To find a means of ending his own loneliness and boredom.
Eichi's voice cut through his thoughts. "It looks like Nagisa-kun and company have finished their preparations..." When he looked up Eichi was offering him his hand one last time. "Let's carry out our mission to the very end, Tsumugi. The story is finally meeting its emotional finale."
"But what will happen after that...? What should we do?"
"That is something even I want to know."
Taking a hold of Eichi's hand Tsumugi pushed down the feelings of pain and heartbreak. He needed to take the stage. This would be the last time he would ever be on stage again with Eichi as Fine. He didn't want this memory to be tainted by tears. No matter how broken inside he might have felt he had made a promise and he still believed in Eichi. He would see this through to the end and then when they were done he would be truly alone.