Archive of Our Own

“Okay, so good news!” Wei Wuxian says, swanning into the room with just enough energetic cheer that Jiang Cheng knows whatever it is he’s going to say is going to be awful. “We figured out the nature of your curse! You’re probably not going to die! It’s not even going to hurt!”

“Yeah? And what’s the bad news?” Jiang Cheng gruffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

Wei Wuxian does a double-take, like he’d expected his (fake) good mood to fool Jiang Cheng. Like it’s ever managed to fool Jiang Cheng. His laugh is a little shrill, a little frenetic as he says, “Well, uh. You know our ghost friend back there? Yeah, she’s possessing you. Which is why...” He makes a gesture at the general area of Jiang Cheng’s... problem.

Jiang Cheng scowls. “That’s it? How come I’m not - y’know.” He mimes the general symptoms of possession. Wei Wuxian has a look on his face like he’s trying not to laugh, but like, miserable.

“It’s… complicated. So we found out our lovely Miss Xia was a dabbler in demonic cultivation - “

“Yeah, no shit,” Jiang Cheng growls, gesturing down at his, er, well, downward.

“ - and the spell she used to possess you was, ah, very inspired. By the same one that brought me back,” Wei Wuxian says delicately. “So… it’ll take time. But eventually, your mind and your body will be taken over and, uh,” Wei Wuxian titters, a little of his concern showing through, “You’ll… probably go where Mo Xuanyu went.”

“Ah,” Jiang Cheng said, expression souring. “I’m not going to like the cure, am I?”

“You’re not going to like the cure,” Wei Wuxian nods. 

Jiang Cheng sucks in a calming breath. It does not calm - simply rushes into his lungs and then explodes out his nose like most of his other “calming breaths.” “What is it,” he deadpans. Gritting his teeth. Bracing himself.

“So, it’s actually really simple,” Wei Wuxian says slowly, placatingly. Stalling for time.

“But?” Jiang Cheng demands. He hates this - not just the humiliation of his curse, but that Wei Wuxian thinks he has to be delicate for Jiang Cheng. Which, okay, his temper is not known to be the best, but -

“You’re probably going to have to have sex with a man,” Wei Wuxian says all in a rush.

As expected, it doesn’t go well. “WHAT,” Jiang Cheng very pointedly does not roar. It’s more of a snarl. A little growl, maybe.

Wei Wuxian flinches back, and Jiang Cheng can hear a deliberate knock on the door, a quiet but firm, “Wei Ying?”

“I’m fine! It’s fine!” Wei Wuxian calls out, voice thready and eyes wide. He looks stressed out as they both wait for Lan Wangji’s presence to fade from the doorway.

When Jiang Cheng can’t sense him anymore, he lets out his held breath. Wei Wuxian does the same. He hadn’t realized they’d both been holding their breath at the same time, like they were hiding, waiting out another one of A-Niang and A-Die’s fights. Jiang Cheng isn’t quite sure what it means, that his chest aches from the realization. Maybe it's a sign he’s already growing breasts. Fuck.

“Look, we can - we can be discrete. We can find someone who won’t talk. A non-cultivator. It’ll be fine,” Wei Wuxian assures him, but the thought of being touched by some stranger makes Jiang Cheng’s skin crawl.

“No,” Jiang Cheng says.

“ Jiang Cheng, ” Wei Wuxian pleads, hands hovering over Jiang Cheng like he wants to shake him, but can’t bring himself to touch. It just makes Jiang Cheng’s chest hurt more - this reminder of what they’ve become.

“No, I will not, ” Jiang Cheng insists, a bit of his ache fueling his obstinance. “How do you even know that’s what she wants?”

“Well, she wanted someone to understand the humiliation she’s been through. Given her history… I wouldn’t be surprised if that was what she had in mind - why else would she change you in such a specific way?” Wei Wuxian explains, slipping into his smartassery enough that his hesitation melts away. “If we were to do that, it’d have to be soon, while her consciousness is still dormant. We could also try and suppress her influence on you, but because of her spell, her hold on your core is… pretty thorough. Suppression won’t keep you from being fully possessed, but it’ll slow it down long enough to get your affairs in order. And if we exterminate her… I don’t know what’ll happen to you.”

There’s a hard glint in Wei Wuxian’s eyes as he looks Jiang Cheng in the eye. Like he’s trying to communicate, without words, that he won’t let anything happen to Jiang Cheng. No matter what.

It makes Jiang Cheng shiver.

Jiang Cheng’s lips press into a thin line as he looks away. “I won’t be touched by a stranger,” he grits out.

Wei Wuxian huffs a frustrated little breath, pushing his bangs back as he snaps, “Well, we sure as hell can’t go to anyone else we know about this! It’s bad enough that Lan Zhan and I know - “

“Why?” Jiang Cheng asks. Demands, just to be an ass. “Why is it bad?”

Wei Wuxian pauses. Stares at Jiang Cheng for a long moment, before dropping his gaze. “Well, I mean. It’s probably embarrassing, isn’t it? That people know? Even if it’s just me and Lan Zhan, and you know we’d never say anything, but - I figure it would be… pretty unbearable. To have your body changed in a way you don’t want. For the cure to be so...” He trails off, making a vague gesture. Jiang Cheng wants to throttle Wei Wuxian, because how could he honestly - and with such earnesty say -

With a hollow laugh, Wei Wuxian fiddles with his hands and says, “It would’ve been better if you let me take the hit.”

That’s it. Jiang Cheng can’t handle this anymore. 

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng growls, getting to his feet. He needs to get out of here, before he says something stupid. Does something stupid.

“What? It’s true!” Wei Wuxian insists, forgetting his earlier timidness to follow after Jiang Cheng. To prove his point in that assholeish way he always does - did - when they used to squabble.  “Lan Zhan could help me through it, but you - “

“ Shut up, Wei Wuxian, ” Jiang Cheng snarls, stopping abruptly enough that Wei Wuxian nearly bumps into him when Jiang Cheng whirls around to face him. “Can’t you, for once in your life, have a little self-worth? What, did you think I just happened to trip into her right before she could get you? It wasn’t a mistake that it happened to me. ”

The room goes quiet, and Jiang Cheng bites his lip, staring down at Wei Wuxian’s feet. He’d said too much. That was - 

He turns to leave, but Wei Wuxian catches him by the wrist. His hold isn’t even very tight; Jiang Cheng could easily break out of it, but - 

“ Jiang Cheng, ” Wei Wuxian breathes, and there’s something torn and broken there. Something that’s been raw and aching for a long time, now. Something they’ve both ignored, with the hope that it’d just go away on its own.

“Look, it’s fine,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “I’m not going to die from it, right?”

“It’s not fine!” Wei Wuxan exclaims, pushing into Jiang Cheng’s space, his eyes wide and shining with some unnameable hurt. “How long can you last like this? Even if your soul wasn’t at risk of being shattered, how long would it be before someone noticed something was wrong?”

“So what? Are you going to transplant your dick for me this time? Is that it?!” Jiang Cheng snaps, grabbing a fistful of Wei Wuxian’s robes and giving him a solid shake. “How much more of yourself are you going to force on me?”

Wei Wuxian tries to pull back, his eyes shining. Big and afraid. Vulnerable. “Jiang Cheng, that’s not - I didn’t - “

“You did. You always fucking do this. You always have to fix things, even when they’ve got nothing to do with you! And you always get to prance off into the sunset with your fucking Hanguang-jun, as if you didn’t leave the rest of us to deal with the fallout. As if, because you got hurt, that everything was okay with it, because it was you. It’s not, Wei Wuxian! It’s not! ”

Jiang Cheng’s voice cracks. He can see that raw and aching hurt of his reflected back at him in the glossy wet of Wei Wuxian’s eyes. 

They stand there, staring at each other, staring at the thousand unspoken things written in each other’s eyes.

“I can’t let you get hurt,” Wei Wuxian says, his own voice rough, on the edge of breaking apart.

“I hate to break it to you, Wei Wuxian, but that’s already happened. With, or without your approval,” Jiang Cheng growls, finally letting Wei Wuxian go.

Wei Wuxian stands there looking lost for a long moment, as Jiang Cheng turns to leave.

“Jiang Cheng, wait,” he says. His voice is soft, unsure.

“What?” Jiang Cheng growls.

“Let me talk to Lan Zhan, okay? If you won’t let a stranger touch you, then - “

“ Wei Wuxian, ” Jiang Cheng snarls. “Did you not hear a single word I’ve said? Did it go in one ear and out the other? Or is it that your memory is that bad? Stop trying to fix things that don’t involve you!”

“Of course it involves me, Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian snarls back. “Or have you not heard a single word I’ve said? If I don’t get to fuck myself over playing hero, neither do you!”

“Fuck you, Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng hisses, slamming open the door - only to run into Lan Wangji.

“Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Wangji greets him, looming in the doorway like a ghoul.

“Move,” Jiang Cheng snarls.

Unmoved, both literally and figuratively, Lan Wangji says, “No.”

“You can’t keep me here,” Jiang Cheng says, threat evident in his voice.

"How old is your nephew?" Lan Wangji asks, and it's bewildering enough to startle Jiang Cheng out of his foul mood.

"Uh, he'll be 17 in November," Jiang Cheng answers, because what the hell else is he supposed to say?

"A child then. And the Lotus Piers - how far along is your current head disciple? If you do not produce an heir, is she well versed enough in Yunmeng Jiang traditions to succeed you?" Lan Wangji asks, his train of logic absolutely baffling.

"Not by a long shot," Jiang Cheng answers.

“And is Yunmeng prepared for a case in which you might be permanently incapacitated?” Lan Wangji asks, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Making himself look bigger. He gives Jiang Cheng a very distinctly Lan Qiren-esque glower, and Jiang Cheng, to his chagrin, feels just a tiny bit like he did the first time he’d come to the Cloud Recesses.

“They can… manage. There are plans in place, but obviously none of them are ideal,” Jiang Cheng says, scowling up at Lan Wangji. “Why are you asking me these things?”

“From my perspective, while you believe it is reasonable to prolong your… condition in the name of pride and thereby recklessly risk your life, the causes to which you have dedicated your life do not have that luxury,” Lan Wangji says solemnly.

Fuck. Jiang Cheng does not want to admit that he’s right. And yet - 

“Do not take your responsibilities so lightly, Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Wangji adds, that stone face of his so offensively smug that Jiang Cheng wants to strangle him.

“ Hanguang-Jun, ” he snarls lowly. “What right do you have to dictate what I should and should not do?

Lan Wangji levels him with the sort of glare one would reserve for a particularly ugly bug. “What will you choose, then?” he asks. “My husband has given you options. Will you take one of them, or will you run?”

Jiang Cheng sneers at him, mouth open and ready to spit vitriol - but Wei Wuxian’s hand comes around his wrist like a manacle and pulls him back. “Jiang Cheng, please,” Wei Wuxian says, quietly. “If you don’t - “ his eyes flick up to Lan Wangji’s face - “If you don’t want a stranger to touch you…”

Lan Wangji’s face does something funny, as he finishes the sentence for him, “...you have two options right here.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widen, heart thumping in his chest as he tugs his hand away from Wei Wuxian’s grasp, backing away like a cornered animal. “I am not touching Lan Wangji,” he says in abject horror. “And I’m not letting him anywhere near me if I’m - “

In the doorway, Lan Wangji breathes a sigh of relief. Never before in his life has Jiang Cheng felt such kinship with Lan Wangji as he had in that moment.

Not that that’ll last long - not when he inevitably must ask, “So what, you’re just going to let your husband fuck me?”

Lan Wangji gives Jiang Cheng a look of such disdain that Jiang Cheng nearly takes a step back - not that he actually does. “He’s willing,” Lan Wangji says firmly. “That’s all that matters.”

Jiang Cheng snaps his gaze over to Wei Wuxian, who pointedly doesn’t look him in the eye. Slowly, he drifts over to Lan Wangji, clinging to the wide sleeve of his robes for, what? Comfort? From the man he’s about to make a cuckold of?

Jiang Cheng sighs. This is ridiculous.

“Look, I’m not about let myself be even more indebted to you - “ Jiang Cheng starts, before Wei Wuxian interrupts him with a - 

“It’s not a burden.” His voice is quiet, serious. Jiang Cheng almost believes it, but then, of course, he says, “Haha, I mean how could it be a burden when you’d be letting me - y’know, heh heh. You’d be doing me a favor.”

Lan Wangji looks like he almost wants to roll his eyes. It makes Jiang Cheng feel a little bit better. Just a little bit.

“Can I entrust him to you?” Lan Wangji asks Jiang Cheng, ignoring his husband’s idiocy.

“What do you mean?” Jiang Cheng protests, more out of principle than anything. Jiang Cheng might have said and done stupid things in his life, but he’s never wanted to -  “I never even agreed to - “

“ Can I entrust him to you? ” Lan Wangji asks again, more insistently. Jiang Cheng feels, somehow, that he’s talking about something other than - than the situation at hand. There’s a fear in Lan Wangji’s eyes as he stares Jiang Cheng down. A fear, and the threat of violence fear often carries. Jiang Cheng knows - he’s felt that enough times in his life to know it intimately.

“...yes,” Jiang Cheng eventually says. Neither of them look at Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji nods. “Good,” he says, giving Wei Wuxian one last meaningful look. And then he leaves.

When the door slips quietly shut, it’s Wei Wuxian - of course, it’s Wei Wuxian - that breaks the silence. “So, uh, I don’t want to pressure you, but - the next drastic change should be complete by the time sunrise hits, if the timing is right. We can… nip it in the bud, if you’d like,” Wei Wuxian offers, glancing meaningfully at the bed. It makes Jiang Cheng’s stomach turn - not so much that it’s Wei Wuxian who will be… assisting him, but rather, the fact that he will be touched, will be asked to undress, will be open and vulnerable  - and to a man who, for all intents and purposes, should have every reason to want to stay the hell away.

“You don’t have to do this,” Jiang Cheng says, suddenly, bone-achingly tired. “You’ve done enough.”

A hand comes up to brush against Jiang Cheng’s jaw, startling the hell out of him. When he lets Wei Wuxian guide his chin up, to look at him, Jiang Cheng almost wants to give into the petty impulse to look away again. “Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says quietly. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. But I will make sure you get through this.”

“ You’ve done enough, ” Jiang Cheng repeats, hand settling over his abdomen. Wei Wuxian’s eyes flick down at Jiang Cheng’s hand over his dark robes, before looking steadfastly up at Jiang Cheng.

“I’m doing this because I want to,” Wei Wuxian says. “I’ve only ever done things because I wanted to.”

Jiang Cheng closes his eye, breathes a calming breath. It’s not very calming. “Even when you took the fall for me when I got caught taking chickens from Farmer Li?” It had been the first time Jiang Cheng had truly realized the consequences of his actions. The last time he’d given into his own impulses for mischief. Watching Wei Wuxian get beaten for his sake soured the thrill.

Wei Wuxian almost laughs at the memory, his eyes softening as he says, “Yes.”

Jiang Cheng swallows, trying to think of anything worse - anything besides that . He doesn’t like thinking about the things that led up to, the things that happened after the burning of Lotus Piers, but he’ll stomach the memory if only to get Wei Wuxian to let go. “Even when A-Niang whipped you with Zidian? Even when you thought she would cut your arm off?”

Wei Wuxian’s lips pull thin at the bitter memory, eyes steely as he says, “Yes.”

“...Even when you - “ They both look down at Jiang Cheng’s hand, still over his abdomen.

“Jiang Cheng, yes, ” Wei Wuxian says. His hand trembles against Jiang Cheng’s jaw, and his face is - there’s something painfully tender in his expression, something that Jiang Cheng doesn’t quite have the words to understand. “You’re here, aren’t you? You’re alive, and the Lotus Piers are thriving, and Jin Ling is growing up well. It was worth it. I’d do it again if I had to. I’d do it a thousand times, if it kept all of you safe.”

Jiang Cheng’s jaw tightens, and he pulls away. “That’s the thing, Wei Wuxian. That’s the thing I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t care if you want to do it; I don’t care if it’s the right thing to do, or if you think it’s what you have to do - why does it always have to be you? ”

Wei Wuxian laughs, looking away. “Well,” he says, and Jiang Cheng knows he’s going to be a little shit about it, “You didn’t want Lan Zhan. So you get to settle for me!”

“ Wei Wuxi - “ Jiang Cheng starts, but Wei Wuxian cups both Jiang Cheng’s cheeks between his hands and squishes. It’s humiliating, but Jiang Cheng is so startled he forgets to pull away.

“Stop it,” Wei Wuxian says. “I’m a lot less stupid than I used to be, trust me. I’m not going to - there are lines even I won’t cross anymore, okay? But this? This really, really is no burden, Jiang Cheng.” He laughs, in that slightly forced way of his, before he adds, “Don’t you remember? You used to be number 5 on the list of most eligible bachelors, and you’ve only gotten more handsome with age.”

Jiang Cheng’s heart thumps hard in his cage as he tries to put together what Wei Wuxian is trying to say. “That’s - you’re - “

“Or am I really going to have to tell you all of the sordid thoughts and dreams I’ve accumulated since my adolescence?” Wei Wuxian asks, schooling his face into something lascivious and coy. “There are a lot. There was this one time, during the summer, and you - “

“Stop! Stop, I don’t want to know,” Jiang Cheng cries out, slapping his hands over his ears. “Does your husband know about this?”

Wei Wuxian laughs, and laughs, and laughs.

It takes about twenty minutes to convince Jiang Cheng to strip down to his trousers, and another five to get him to sit on the bed. It takes about 30 seconds for Wei Wuxian to do the same.

They sit there in awkward silence, side-by-side on the bed, touching from thigh to hip. Jiang Cheng’s entire body is tense and stiff from anxiousness, from anticipation, and he’s pretty sure Wei Wuxian can feel it even through two layers of fabric. It is, quite possibly, the least sexy experience he’s ever endured.

Eventually, Wei Wuxian breaks the silence. He’s always been good at that. “Turn over,” Wei Wuxian says, nudging at Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

“What? Why?!” Jiang Cheng hisses, heart thumping in his chest at the sudden contact, now that he knows - now that they’re doing this. His skin prickles all over from the relatively innocent nudge, hyper aware of every little bit of space Wei Wuxian occupies. Has occupied. Will occupy.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “Look, I'm not trying to besmirch your honor just yet, dummy! I'm just trying to get you to relax. C'mon, turn over,” Wei Wuxian urges, and Jiang Cheng lets himself be manhandled. Despite all his growling protests, his snapping fangs, he’ll always roll over easy for Wei Wuxian. It’s an instinct buried deep in him, just as deep as his instinct to step between Wei Wuxian and a dog.

He turns over.

His ribs almost hurt from the way his heart keeps thrashing in its cage, body trembling from trying to keep still as Wei Wuxian crawls over his prone body, settling easily on the cushion of his ass.

“Fuck, Jiang Cheng. You’re about as stiff as a corpse right now. Relax. I’m going to give you a nice little massage. We can take this step by step,” Wei Wuxian says, voice soft and coaxing.

“I don’t want to rel - ffffuck…! ” Jiang Cheng groans, as Wei Wuxian starts digging his thumbs into Jiang Cheng’s shoulders. He can’t speak for a good few minutes, too busy trying to close his mouth against the shuddering sounds of relief threatening to come loose.

“Good, right?” Wei Wuxian grins. “I do this a lot for Lan Zhan. It helps with his scars.”

“Don’t talk about your husband when you’re going to - When we’ll - “ Jiang Cheng splutters, brain stuttering with the kneading of Wei Wuxian’s hands. “ Mmnh. ”

“You can say it, Jiang Cheng. I mean, it’s not going to make it any less weird, but at least you can get used to the idea.”

“Fuck you,” Jiang Cheng groans. And then he groans, because Wei Wuxian presses his knuckles down Jiang Cheng’s back, gently cracking each of the tense little bubbles in his spine.

“That’s the spirit,” Wei Wuxian grins. “Come on, Jiang Cheng. Just close your eyes a bit and let me take care of you.”

He’s got to know what he sounds like. What he’s saying. Jiang Cheng could probably strangle him, if he weren’t currently soothing the knot under Jiang Cheng’s shoulder blade that’d been bothering him forever. Wei Wuxian’s got a memory like a sieve, but he still remembers Jiang Cheng’s body, the places he used to complain about after a long spar, after sleepless nights studying for one of A-Niang’s tests.

No one’s touched him like this in years. It’s in turns gratifying and mortifying that it must be Wei Wuxian.

When Wei Wuxian’s thoroughly reduced him to jelly, he lifts up on his knees and gently nudges Jiang Cheng to roll over. Jiang Cheng tenses, because how could he not, knowing - knowing what comes next. Wei Wuxian helps him turn over with gentle hands and smiles, warm and comforting, knuckles brushing back the bangs in his face. “Feel good?” he asks, soft like Jiang Cheng deserves soft.

Jiang Cheng makes a grunt and looks away, hardly able to withstand the magnitude of Wei Wuxian’s tenderness. With a gentle hand on his cheek, Wei Wuxian guides him back.

It makes Jiang Cheng shiver, his body feeling much too small for, for the entirety of what he’s feeling. So big, he’s not even sure what it is. 

“Do you think you’re ready to be touched?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Jiang Cheng swallows down the quiet little yes, his own anxiousness and pride snarling, “ No - “

It drops when Wei Wuxian’s expression stiffens, melting into a resigned cheerfulness as he opens his mouth to offer more. Seeing that, Jiang Cheng feels compelled to gruff, “But do it anyways.”

“ Oh, Jiang Cheng, ” Wei Wuxian breathes, thumbs skimming up and down the sensitive lines of his ribs. Jiang Cheng fights down the instinct to snap, to cover up the mess that is the scar on his chest. He knows that’s not what Wei Wuxian is talking about, but that tone is still the same patronizing shit everyone who tries to ‘fix him’ always takes on.

“We don’t have to hurry - we’ve got all night,” Wei Wuxian promises, mindlessly tracing the arcs of his ribcage. His hands are warm and dry. Gentle, like Jiang Cheng is something to be soothed.

“Yeah, and I’d like to sleep knowing I’m not going to be possessed by an evil ghost prostitute. Let’s get it over with,” Jiang Cheng says, hooking his own thumbs under the hems of his pants. Rough, like he’s tugging off a bandage that’s stuck to the wound. It’s bravado - it’s all bravado, of course, because that’s the only way men like Jiang Cheng can get through the world - and Wei Wuxian lets it happen, easing off of Jiang Cheng so he can kick the legs of his pants off.

Wei Wuxian looks, because of course he has to look - how else is he going to fix this? - and Jiang Cheng fights the urge to slap his knees together, to hide his shame. Instead, he spreads his legs wider, obscene like he’s got something to prove.

Wei Wuxian’s hands are gentle on the insides of his thighs. Surely, he can feel the way Jiang Cheng’s legs twitch at the touch, eager to protect the foreign thing between them, to hide it away from prying eyes.

With a shit eating grin, Wei Wuxian slips one hand further down Jiang Cheng’s leg, close enough for his thumb to brush against the scrubby hair lining his - 

“It looks weird,” he says, absently. “But pretty. It’s a pretty color.”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng growls, ignoring the heat flushing up his face.

“It’s true. It’s like… mm, the inside of a peach, you know? The parts where it’s turned red from the pit. It’s a little like that color,” Wei Wuxian says, and it’s so inane that Jiang Cheng doesn’t even register that Wei Wuxian is tugging at the skin and flesh there, inadvertently pulling him a little more open.

Jiang Cheng feels himself squeeze - somewhere weird and new, but undoubtedly a part of his body - trying to stay closed, and -

“Oh, it twitched,” Wei Wuxian breathes, eyes wide. Fixated. “That’s so cool.”

Jiang Cheng snorts, impatient and anxious. Rolls his eyes, because if he does then surely it must mean he’s above all this, that he could take it. That he doesn’t care, no matter how hard his pulse is throbbing in his neck. “Hurry up,” he growls, hands twitching in the sheets on either side of him. Trying not to look as affected as he is.

“Can I touch - the inside? Where it’s all pink, not your - not inside, inside,” Wei Wuxian asks. He’s been rubbing up and down the outside with his thumb, messing with the hair, and Jiang Cheng is hyper aware of the feeling, the vague unpleasantness of coarse hair scrubbing against the delicate, new skin there. The implication of Wei Wuxian’s body, so close to his own.

“Fine,” he grits out. “Whatever. Just do it.”

“Okay,” Wei Wuxian says, and he does it. It’s - it feels - Jiang Cheng fights the urge not to close his legs, and his entire body trembles with the effort.

It’s not - it’s not bad. Honestly, frankly, it’s pretty neutral, the way Wei Wuxian’s touching him, gentle enough to feel like a tickle. It’s not so much the sensation, but the connotation that has Jiang Cheng sucking in a sharp breath, his chest expanding and compressing like sails in a storm.

The insistent brush of Wei Wuxian’s fingers as they map out every little crevice, every little fold is - Jiang Cheng would say mortifying, but it’s not quite that, not in the face of Wei Wuxian’s curious, exploring touches. Once, he brushes against something that makes Jiang Cheng twitch, violently. Wei Wuxian pulls his hand back as if burned, glancing up at Jiang Cheng with glossy eyes as he holds his breath, waiting to be kicked out. As if it were a privilege to be touching Jiang Cheng like this, rather than a favor. Jiang Cheng doesn’t push him away; he just sucks in a shaking breath and slowly spreads his legs again, letting Wei Wuxian touch. Wei Wuxian is careful not to touch it again.

Like this, Wei Wuxian’s fingers feel blunt and rough, a far cry from the delicate little things Mo Xuanyu’s body grew into. More like what Jiang Cheng remembers from their youth. Gentle but steady. Firm, like he’s peering into Jiang Cheng’s pulse, tapping into the lines of his qi.

With a soft little sound, one Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to parse, Wei Wuxian licks his fingers. Jiang Cheng doesn’t even have the time to feel disgusted, before Wei Wuxian is bringing them back down to his - to his pink parts. His body quakes under the touch, easier now that they’ve been sufficiently lubricated.

Quietly, Wei Wuxian laughs.

“What?” Jiang Cheng grouses, trying to get used to the feeling. The tickling sensation gains a little bit of body, a little bit of firmness with the new slickness of Wei Wuxian’s fingers. Wei Wuxian moves them slowly up and down, up and down, soothing and hypnotic in his steadiness. It’s - it’s a lot. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what to feel.

“Every time, I, uh. I touch your - your hole, it kind of moves,” Wei Wuxian breathes. And he’s right - Jiang Cheng hadn’t noticed, but his body had grown to anticipate Wei Wuxian’s fingers, relaxing against the now-familiar presence. “Um,” Wei Wuxian laughs, a little absently. “It’s a little like, when I - haha, um. When Lan Zhan - “

“Don’t talk to me about your husband while you’re touching my - while you’re touching me,” Jiang Cheng chokes, thinking about Wei Wuxian, and what he might mean when he compares his - his something with Jiang Cheng’s hole. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’ve never done it with anyone else,” Wei Wuxian says, his fingertips lingering, now, at Jiang Cheng’s entrance.

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng says in a low, warning voice.

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Wei Wuxian breathes, though his thumb keeps stroking there, making Jiang Cheng’s hole flutter. As if to try and hold it there, as if to, maybe, coax it in.

Jiang Cheng swallows.

“It’s, uh. It’s a little slippery now. My spit should’ve dried up by now. Jiang Cheng, are you - “ Wei Wuxian asks, rubbing a little firmer now. Jiang Cheng shifts his hips, a restlessness building in his limbs as he says,

“Shut up.” His voice comes out a little cracked, a little hoarse. He wants to hide, maybe, ashamed of the foreign feeling of emptiness between his legs, the intrusive desire to - to have something inside.

Wei Wuxian’s fingertip dips inside just a little - not even enough to really be considered in - and Jiang Cheng jolts like a spooked horse, eyes wide as he stares at Wei Wuxian, demanding, “What are you doing?!”

“I was just trying to get more of the wet stuff!” Wei Wuxian cries out, pulling his hand back. “It looked like you liked it better that way!”

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng snarls, raising his fist to - to - 

“What did it feel like?” Wei Wuxian asks, eyes wide and wondering. “It didn’t hurt, did it?”

Jiang Cheng swallows. It didn’t hurt, but… well, to be honest, he can’t actually recall what it felt like, too caught up in his hair-trigger awareness of what Wei Wuxian was doing that he hadn’t thought to worry about how it felt.

“...It didn’t hurt,” Jiang Cheng eventually admits, settling back down with the wariness of a cornered animal.

“What did it feel like, then?” Wei Wuxian asks, leaning in in interest. “I mean, people with, uh, stuff like yours are supposed to like that, right?” 

Jiang Cheng doesn’t know, but he sure as hell isn’t going to admit that. “You can’t just assume the yellow booklets are right all the time, stupid,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, feeling much too exposed. Feeling seen through. His insides throb, an instinctual desire to, to clench around something nearly loud enough to drown out his mortification.

“Yeah, well, you’ve got to tell me if I’m doing this right or else this isn’t going to work!” Wei Wuxian grumbles back.

“You don’t have to do it right - you just have to put it in until you come!” Jiang Cheng growls.

“Yeah, well, if I do that, it’s going to suck!” Wei Wuxian snaps. “I don’t want it to suck! I want to make you feel good!”

“I’d feel really good, actually, if I had my dick back! ” Jiang Cheng snaps right back, because he’s never been one to back down from a fight with Wei Wuxian and he isn’t going to start now.

“Well fine then! If that’s really what you want, then I’m just going to put my fingers in you, I guess!” Wei Wuxian says, shoving his index finger right in.

Jiang Cheng freezes at the intrusion, and in turn, Wei Wuxian also freezes, his face going pale. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay? I’m sorry,” Wei Wuxian immediately apologizes, drawing his finger right back out. “I didn’t mean to, Jiang Cheng, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng growls, cheeks growing warm as he looks away. “It’s… fine. You can - you can keep going.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian says, hesitating long enough for Jiang Cheng to glare at him. His cheeks are ruddy, too, and he’s staring down at Jiang Cheng’s clenched hand on the bedspread, biting his lip.

There’s… something about the way Wei Wuxian looks that makes Jiang Cheng - 

Jiang Cheng clears his throat, looking down at Wei Wuxian’s hand. At the way he holds the offending finger out, seperate from the rest of his slightly-curled fingers. At the way it glistens, a little, with Jiang Cheng’s slick.

Jiang Cheng fights down the urge to shiver, and grits out, “I said it’s fine. You can keep going, but - slower, okay? And don’t ask me questions.” As if to emphasize just how fine it is, Jiang Cheng lays back again, spreading his legs further.

He doesn't miss the way Wei Wuxian sucks in a breath.

After that little outburst, both of them are silent for a while. It’s - unnerving, a little, when the only sound in the room is the sound of their breathing. Unnerving enough that when Wei Wuxian puts a chaste hand on his knee, Jiang Cheng’s entire body twitches. It spooks Wei Wuxian enough that he lets go immediately, but Jiang Cheng is faster - before he knows what he’s doing, he’s got a hand wrapped around Wei Wuxian’s wrist, holding him there. “Come on. Do it,” Jiang Cheng says, staring up at Wei Wuxian. “I trust you.”

“Okay, Jiang Cheng. Okay,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, his voice trembling, and when Jiang Cheng lets go, Wei Wuxian's hand gently squeezes the inside of Jiang Cheng’s thigh. The other one, the one that had been exploring his body this entire time, comes back, rubbing up and down the soft pink inside like it had been before, and then slowly, slowly, he pushes it in.

It doesn’t feel like much, just a little finger, feeling around the insides. But something big and a little overwhelming wells up in Jiang Cheng’s chest anyways, something that he has no idea what to call.

“It’s so weird in there,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, awed, as his finger feels all around. It should feel intrusive - it kind of is, actually - but knowing Wei Wuxian, he isn’t doing it to be cruel. He’s genuinely curious, and that almost makes it worse. Jiang Cheng hasn’t had Wei Wuxian’s attention on him like this in a long, long time, and its… He has no idea how to feel about it.

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng growls, but there’s no heat in it - not when he’s trying to hold onto the feeling of… being explored, trying to figure out whether or not he likes it. It’s certainly better than trying to parse through the rest of his feelings on the subject, at least.

“It’s all smooth and hot… Jiang Cheng, you’re really wet inside,” Wei Wuxian says, and then he does something with his one finger that makes Jiang Cheng cant his hips up. He can’t actually tell if it’s because he wants more, or if he wants to get away and it’s - it’s - 

“ Ah, ” Jiang Cheng gasps, despite himself.

“Oh? Is that good? There’s this part in the front that doesn’t really feel like the rest of it. Should I keep touching there?” Wei Wuxian asks, rubbing it up and down with that exploratory, unhurried pace form before.

“Don’t - Don’t ask me questions,” Jiang Cheng manages, hips squirming as the feeling builds. And then, because maybe he’s going crazy or something, he says, “Do you think I’m made of glass? I can handle more. It hardly even feels like anything.”

“Oh. Oh fuck, okay, Jiang Cheng, Okay,” Wei Wuxian says, and he sounds like he’s got that shitty grin on his face again. The one he always has when he thinks he’s won.

And then he pulls his finger out. Jiang Cheng can feel another one joining it at his hole, and when Wei Wuxian slowly pushes them both in, he can feel his body stretching around every millimeter. It’s - 

It’s really - 

Jiang Cheng doesn’t make any sounds, but his breath gets heavier, his body doing that - that squeezing thing as it gets used to the intrusions, and he can feel this distant spark of something maybe somewhat related to pleasure as his body feels out the thing that’s, well, feeling him out.

“Okay, I’m going to try moving, okay? Let me know if you like it, or if it hurts and you want me to stop,” Wei Wuxian says, before his hand starts picking up speed, slipping in and out of Jiang Cheng with, quite frankly, alarming ease. It really shouldn’t be this easy for his body to adapt to this, should it?

And then, Wei Wuxian changes his angle and Jiang Cheng’s hips jolt, insides tightening and knees slipping shut. “Woah! Was that a good thing or a bad thing?” Wei Wuxian asks, gently prying Jiang Cheng’s legs apart again, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to tell him that he doesn’t know - it’s just just, intense, like the feeling of pushing on a days-old bruise, but magnified by a hundred and contained within a fraction of a second. “You were really squeezing down on me. Are you okay?”

“Shut up, ” Jiang Cheng growls, heart thumping in his chest like he’s run a thousand miles. With an embarrassed huff, he starts to pull away, but Wei Wuxian’s hand on his thigh tightens, holding him in place. 

His voice is a little soft, a little rough as he asks, “Do you like it slow or fast?”

Jiang Cheng might be reading into something that isn’t there, but Wei Wuxian’s voice sounds like - 

Wei Wuxian swallows hard, his eyes big and glassy and, and hungry as he looks up at Jiang Cheng. “Let me keep going. Just for a little bit,” Wei Wuxian says. “Long enough for you to decide how you feel about it. Please.”

Jiang Cheng can feel the heat flushing through his cheeks. He shifts his hips, trying to get comfortable, before finally nodding. “Start slow,” Jiang Cheng says, voice a little unsteady.

Wei Wuxian nods, fingers pivoting in at the wrist rather than at the elbow. His eyes are trained on Jiang Cheng’s face, unnerving in the intensity of his stare, and Jiang Cheng knows Wei Wuxian’s doing it to make sure that he’s not hurting him, but it’s - it’s so much. Jiang Cheng feels cracked open and raw, exposed under Wei Wuxian’s burning stare, his clever fingers, his bare hunger. It would be better, maybe, if Wei Wuxian was just as taken apart as he feels, if they were both in this together. But no, it’s just Jiang Cheng. It’s always just Jiang Cheng.

“Feels weird,” Jiang Cheng manages, unable to keep from squirming as that intense feeling in his abdomen grows, takes form. His breath is coming in shivery and hot, burning him down to the core as his - his body makes these obscene, wet noises. That Wei Wuxian is quiet in that way he gets when he’s focusing only serves to make the noises sound louder. To make the heat of embarrassment, and - and something else more prominent in his chest. It’s, it’s mortifying, that this is what it sounds like.

Is it supposed to be like this? He doesn’t feel in control of himself, back arching and hips jerking helplessly at Wei Wuxian’s touch. It feels like his body is this wild, untamed thing that he can no longer reign in, every reaction, every shuddering breath leaking out without his consent. Even more - the, the thing between his legs keeps - it keeps clenching down on Wei Wuxian’s fingers, jarring and foreign and - and good . It’s good, he thinks, maybe. His brain can’t quite comprehend the feeling, all blinding-bright and too big for his body, and it’s so - it’s so much that he can hardly even think.

It’s - intense, overwhelming, terrifying, how distracted Wei Wuxian makes him, how utterly at his mercy Jiang Cheng is.

“F-feels really weird. Wei Wuxian - Wei Wuxian, stop,” Jiang Cheng’s voice comes out shivery and weak, hand coming down to clutch at Wei Wuxian’s wrist. Wei Wuxian pauses immediately, fingers lingering just a moment longer, before drawing out.

“Did I hurt you?” Wei Wuxian asks, and his voice sounds like velvet, soft and comforting but with just enough roughness to it to make Jiang Cheng pause.

Jiang Cheng swallows and shakes his head. “No.”

“Were you… going to come?” Wei Wuxian asks, and there's an eagerness to it, a quiet little hope that makes Jiang Cheng all too aware of his hand around Wei Wuxian’s wrist, of Wei Wuxian’s fingertips, wet and lingering at the rim of his hole. 

“I don’t know,” Jiang Cheng admits, abdomen scrunching as his body tries to curl in on itself, mortified to be asked, mortified to be made to feel this way. Jiang Cheng feels his face heat in a way that is much too familiar, and he has to turn away, throwing an arm over his eyes as a wave of overwhelming hits him.

“Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian asks, his voice soft, tinged with worry but hiding it well. “Jiang Cheng, don’t hide. It’s okay.”

When Wei Wuxian’s clean hand comes up to pull Jiang Cheng’s arm away, Jiang Cheng flinches with his entire body. “Jiang Cheng, it’s okay. Don't be embarrassed - I’m not laughing at you. I’m not judging you, I swear. I just want to make you feel good, okay?” Wei Wuxian asks, and Jiang Cheng wants to believe him, he does, but he also can’t bear for Wei Wuxian - for anyone - to see this. It’s bad enough that he can see the telling way Jiang Cheng’s chest stutters with every hitched breath, the way the redness in his face and neck and shoulders goes blotchy, the way he instinctively tries to curl in on himself.

“Just put it in,” Jiang Cheng says, cursing himself for the way his voice cracks. “You don’t have to do all of this. Just put it in.”

“I want to, though,” Wei Wuxian murmurs. “Let me take care of you. Trust me, Jiang Cheng.”

The thing is. The thing is - Jiang Cheng wants to. He would give anything to be able to trust Wei Wuxian again, in that way he had once trusted everything to him. But there’s too much between them for something like that to come so easily anymore.

Jiang Cheng’s lungs tremble with the effort of keeping his breath steady, and Wei Wuxian, with uncharacteristic patience, waits for him. Hardly even moves as Jiang Cheng takes in another steady breath, and then a third.

Finally, when he feels ready, he comes back out behind his arm. “There he is,” Wei Wuxian smiles, fingers tickling down his arm. When they reach Jiang Cheng’s wrist, Wei Wuxian pulls Jiang Cheng’s hand to him and presses a gentle little kiss there. It’s little more than a brush of lips, and yet - 

It’s intimate enough for Jiang Cheng’s breath to hitch once more. “Hey, I've got an idea - “ Wei Wuxian grins. “Why don’t you let me suck your - uh -”

“No,” Jiang Cheng snaps, immediately. The moment is over; any tenderness he once held for Wei Wuxian has disappeared, probably gone to wherever his dick went. “That’s weird!”

“Jiang Cheng, I suck cock every day of my life. When you suck cock every day of your life, the concept of putting most other human body related things in your mouth gets a whole lot less weird,” Wei Wuxian says with a shit-eating grin. “I swear it’s really a lot of f - “

“ More than I needed to know! ” Jiang Cheng cries, drowning out whatever else Wei Wuxian planned on saying. 

“Come on, let me try,” Wei Wuxian says with a childish whine. “When I touched it with my fingers earlier you didn’t like it, but maybe you’ll like this?”

“You’re shameless!” Jiang Cheng hisses.

“Okay, but shame is a pointless obstacle in the pursuit of science. Lemme suck your cock, Jiang Cheng - I want to know if it feels the same. You gotta tell me, okay?”

Jiang Cheng almost wants to tell Wei Wuxian he’s never had his cock sucked, so he wouldn’t know - but that would be inviting a whole flurry of questions he’s not ready to answer. Wei Wuxian very much doesn’t need to know Jiang Cheng’s amount of experience, or lack thereof.

Wei Wuxian lowers his mouth, but moments before he gets to Jiang Cheng’s - to his new body parts, he abruptly pulls back with a, “Wait, wait, wait, actually, let me - “ and then he’s a flurry of motion, grabbing the blankets into his arms and crumpling them up into a giant pile. “I saw this in a yellow book once - Lift your hips up - “

“You can’t - you can’t get all your information from a goddamned yellow book - “ Jiang Cheng gasps, but he goes with it, because when Wei Wuxian’s stuck on one of his inane ideas, it’s easier to just let him do it. Otherwise he’ll be even more insufferable.

Like this, with his hips propped up, Jiang Cheng feels - on display. It’s really fucking weird, and he almost wants to kick the blankets out from under him, but Wei Wuxian descends upon him, happily tossing one of Jiang Cheng’s legs over his shoulder.

“What are you - “ Jiang Cheng starts, before Wei Wuxian’s kissing and nipping the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, effectively shutting him up.

“You should grab my hair,” Wei Wuxian grins, nuzzling into the crease between Jiang Cheng’s leg and his - his stuff - before gently sucking at it with his mouth and fuck, if that isn’t - 

“Hurry up,” Jiang Cheng growls, tangling his hands into Wei Wuxian’s hair and giving a little tug.

“ Hhuh, ” Wei Wuxian wheezes, tucking his face into the hair below Jiang Cheng’s belly button as he laughs, breathlessly. In the periphery of Jiang Cheng’s vision, he can see Wei Wuxian’s hips squirming a little where they’re flush against the bed, and oh. He - he hadn’t exactly thought about what Wei Wuxian was getting out of this - just that he wanted to be back to normal - and to see physical proof that this is, this is something Wei Wuxian is into is - 

“Yeah, like that, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian purrs, eyes half-lidded as he noses into the coarse hair just over his - “You’re a natural, I swear.”

A flush of heat rolls through Jiang Cheng’s body like a wave at the praise. When Wei Wuxian’s lips part and the wet heat of his breath fans over his - his skin, Jiang Cheng’s insides squeeze in anticipation. And then, Wei Wuxian’s tongue is on him, and a whole new wave of heat floods his system.

“ Wei Wuxian, ” Jiang Cheng chokes out, hands tightening in Wei Wuxian’s hair as his hips lift up, just a little bit.

Wei Wuxian hums, eyes slipping closed as his tongue licks broad strokes over his - over his hole, tickling over the pink parts before - 

Jiang Cheng’s hips jolt, and he can feel Wei Wuxian’s low laughter as he licks that place again, and then again. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, ” Jiang Cheng gasps, legs slipping apart, hips canting up, anything to get closer to that hot mouth. 

Wei Wuxian moans like he’s just had a bite of his favorite meal after a grueling day’s work, his hand coming up to hold Jiang Cheng’s leg open as his lips form a seal around that spot and he sucks. Jiang Cheng jolts like he’s been struck by Zidian, holding onto Wei Wuxian like he’s his only lifeline, the only thing keeping him from coming completely untethered. Already, without his permission, his other leg raises, curling over Wei Wuxian's other shoulder, trembling with the effort of holding fast, of staying grounded. He's pretty sure he makes some high, wounded sound far in the back of his throat, but his ears are full with the rush of his blood and the crash of his heartbeat, and he can hardly tell the difference between his aching breath and his quiet whimpering oh, oh, oh.

Wei Wuxian's mouth is unrelenting, a searing brand of heat and wetness and sucking pressure, and Jiang Cheng would buck up into its harsh and pleasing welcome if it weren't for the fact that all his muscles have gone liquid, completely useless in the face of all that Wei Wuxian is. He's never felt like this before, not once in his 30-odd years, and yet somehow, he understands intrinsically that it is not quite so much that he's having sex with someone as it is that he is facing the full brunt of Wei Wuxian's devotion and falling to pieces because of it.

He can feel himself trembling, body tense like an arrow moments from release, and the only thing keeping him from flying off is Wei Wuxian's arm curled leisurely around his leg, the weight of Wei Wuxian's body holding him down at the hips, the silky-rough feel of Wei Wuxian's unruly hair under his fingertips. It's an eternity of Wei Wuxian's mouth, of his hands, soothing-soft on his thighs, of his furrowed brow and hot breath, before finally, Wei Wuxian releases him with a long, gasping breath, a triumphant laugh. Jiang Cheng sags like puppet with no master, his pulse singing between his legs as he, too, tries to gather himself. "You like that, huh?" Wei Wuxian asks, chin wet with his own spit and - and something else.

It's not an accusation, Jiang Cheng finds, and even if it was, his head is too full of pleasantly prickling static to react. "Shut up," he rasps, weak and brainless, too distracted from the ebbing heat throbbing from his hips to put up a fight.

Wei Wuxian buries his face into one of Jiang Cheng's thighs, smearing wetness all over the skin as he presses gentle little kisses there, and Jiang Cheng would kick him off if it weren't for some small, aching thing between his ribs begging him to stay. He'd thought he'd shut that thing up a long time ago, but, well. He's finding out a lot of new things today.

“Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian murmurs, soft and coaxing like he's trying to wheedle a favor from him. From where Jiang Cheng is at, he can see the way Wei Wuxian's hips covertly grind against the bed, the way Wei Wuxian's toes curl into the sheets, seeking purchase. Jiang Cheng braces for it - the thing they've both been waiting for -

"Can I finger you again? While I use my mouth?”

The tension sags out of Jiang Cheng's body as he asks, almost wearily, "Are you stupid? Are you waiting to have a turn with the ghost prostitute before you stick it in me?"

" Jiang Cheeennnnnggg, " Wei Wuxian whines, like Jiang Cheng is threatening to take away his Emperor's Smile instead of begging him to fuck him. "This is probably the only time I will ever get to play with this sort of equipment. It’s for the sake of science! Speaking of - you never even answered my question - what does it feel like to have - uh, that sucked on?”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, ignoring the question, the heat of embarrassment high on his cheeks. “You’re not getting anything out of it, and you’ve already done enough,” he says, even if his body is throbbing for more. “Hurry it up.”

“Excuse you, Jiang Cheng, I am getting plenty out of it! It’s not often I get a chance to sate my curiosity!” Wei Wuxian exclaims, rather theatrically. And then, his voice softer, a little more genuine - “Besides, we’re already here - we might as well have a good time of it. I want to make you feel good.”

Jiang Cheng swallows hard and looks away.

“Do you really want me to stop?” Wei Wuxian asks, and he sounds - he sounds a little vulnerable, now. Like Jiang Cheng had just told him he’d done something wrong, and he was starting to feel the prickle of shame and doubt at the back of his mind. “I can put it in if you really don't like it. But I'd like to keep going, if you’ll let me.”

He shouldn’t. He really ought to get on with it. But… is his pride, his fear of vulnerability, really so high a hurdle to clear? Can’t he simply take Wei Wuxian at his word and let Wei Wuxian do to him the things they both want? Does he really have to think about all the why’s and what if’s, when he wants what Wei Wuxian wants, and Wei Wuxian is more than happy to give it to him?

“...fine,” Jiang Cheng says, so quiet it hardly makes it out of his mouth. Wei Wuxian, though - Wei Wuxian looks like Jiang Cheng’s offered him the keys to the Lotus Piers.

“Oh, Jiang Cheng, you’re so good,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, no semblance of shame as he kisses down Jiang Cheng’s leg. His fingers come down to brush against Jiang Cheng’s hole, and Jiang Cheng can’t help but twitch in anticipation.

Wei Wuxian laughs quietly, eyes searing into Jiang Cheng’s skin. “It reacts so easily,” he says, dipping his fingers shallowly in, only to rub the wetness everywhere else. Once or twice, his fingertips brush against that spot again, but it doesn’t - it’s not shocking, anymore, just… intense. Good. Jiang Cheng thinks if he rubbed his fingers a little faster, a little more firmly, it’d feel good.

“Stop messing around,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, self-consciously shifting in Wei Wuxian’s hold.

“Mm-hmm,” Wei Wuxian hums, slowly sinking his fingers in.

“ Ah, ” Jiang Cheng breathes, because he hasn’t forgotten the comfortable stretch. He never thought he’d say this about being cursed, but… it feels nice.

“Good?” Wei Wuxian murmurs, kissing that little divot in his inner thigh, so close to his - 

Jiang Cheng swallows, letting his head drop back against the bed as he remembers how to breathe again. Wei Wuxian is gentle, his fingers slow and firm. Intent.

It's good. It's good, it's so good.

Jiang Cheng can feel his eyes prickling on Jiang Cheng’s skin, watching for a reaction. He’s determined, this time, to let the feeling flow through him, to keep his head afloat. And yet, even as he slows his breath so as not to shudder, he can feel the pricklings of pleasure, those intense little starbursts, begin to simmer in his blood.

Wei Wuxian hasn’t even put his mouth on him, yet, and still, his hips are already shifting, unsure of whether to seek out that pleasure, or escape it.

This time, instead of the steady in and out from before, Wei Wuxian tries fluttering his fingers inside of Jiang Cheng. At first, it wasn't much - just a ticklish feeling, a lick of candleflame, but it doesn't take long before the feeling builds, the constant flicker of sensation fizzing in Jiang Cheng's periphery. " Oh, " Jiang Cheng breathes, shutting his eyes as one of his knees draws up, inadvertently opening up for Wei Wuxian.

"Yeah?" Wei Wuxian murmurs, his lips gentle against the scrubby hair between his legs. He presses a little kiss there, and then another, a little further down, and before Jiang Cheng knows it, he's licking along the rim of his hole, dribbling saliva onto his fingers when they make contact. It's, it's filthy, but Jiang Cheng can't stop squirming, his breath coming out in shivering pants.

" Nnh, " Jiang Cheng groans, his breath sticking in his chest in protest, as he tries to calm his breathing.

"Mm, yeah, Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian murmurs, muffled between his legs as he licks a broad, filthy stroke from his hole to - to that spot. The single touch of his wet tongue makes Jiang Cheng jolt. It makes Wei Wuxian chuckle, low and warm, his fingers doubling their efforts inside of him as his tongue flicks against that thing.

"Wei Wuxian," Jiang Cheng gasps, hands coming down to hold onto Wei Wuxian, to hold him in place.

"Yeah?" Wei Wuxian purrs, and Jiang Cheng shivers at the feeling of his hot breath against his wet flesh, fingers tightening against Wei Wuxian's scalp.

Wei Wuxian groans, nuzzling into the hair between Jiang Cheng's legs as he redoubles his efforts, laving his tongue against that thing until Jiang Cheng's breath comes in quiet little hiccups. Without his permission, both his knees come up until his feet rest delicately on Wei Wuxian's shoulders, his muscles so tense they can't help but twitch with every swipe of his tongue.

That feeling inside of him keeps building, hot and bright and intense, pulling his body in conflicting directions, unsure of whether to give in to the sensation or pull away. His insides keep - keep squeezing, trying to draw Wei Wuxian's fingers in deeper, trying to coax his attentions further inward, and it would be mortifying if it weren't for each abstract flush of pleasure crawling up his bones with each little throb.

It's hard to even care about the way his thighs clench and shake, trembling from holding themselves open for Wei Wuxian, when he can hardly spare his attention for anything other than that clever mouth, that wicked tongue. It's hard to care that his body makes such awful wet sounds, that his panting breaths come out colored with moans. It's hard to care that his hips cant eagerly toward the wet heat of Wei Wuxian's mouth, that they twitch and spasm with every rolling flush of pleasure coursing through his skin.

It doesn't take long for Jiang Cheng to get all sloppy and wet from Wei Wuxian's mouth, from Wei Wuxian's fluttering fingers as they start rocking in and out again, hitching up towards that place that makes Jiang Cheng's insides throb. His insistent, eager tongue slows, and before Jiang Cheng's lust-hazy mind can process what's happening, Wei Wuxian pulls back to draw in a deep breath or two. And then, he latches on, nuzzling his nose into Jiang Cheng's hair as he starts to suck again.

"Oh, fuck, " Jiang Cheng sobs, mindlessly twitching up into Wei Wuxian's mouth. Wei Wuxian sucks on him like he would on a piece of sugar candy, lingering and indulgent, like he’s sucking on the coating of a tanghulu before he finally crunches down on the haw. To Jiang Cheng’s senseless brain, his eager body, it feels like intermittent pulses of searing heat, of unbearable pressure. Like weak limbs out of his control; like a mind fogging over, narrowing down to pure sensation; like the feeling of prying oneself open and exposing all the soft and tender things underneath.

Despite himself, Jiang Cheng can’t stop squirming, curling into Wei Wuxian like he’s the only thing keeping him afloat. Jiang Cheng feels, rather than hears, the moan Wei Wuxian makes when Jiang Cheng’s restless hands clutch at his hair, at his shoulders, at his wrist - anything he can get, as this unnameable sensation builds and builds, to the point where, he thinks, maybe, it’ll overflow.

“Wei Wuxian - “ Jiang Cheng chokes out, muscles seizing as a sudden, feverish heat rolls through his body. “Wei Wuxian, it, it feels weird, Wei Wuxian I think I’m - “

Wei Wuxian pulls back with hazed-over mmnh? before - before seeing something in Jiang Cheng’s face, in the taut lines of his body, and plunging back in, fucking him deep and hard with his fingers, sucking on him like he’d intended to bruise. And then - 

And then the feeling spreads, blooming everywhere, bubbling to the surface of his skin like a rising flood as it pulls him under and swallows him whole. His body throbs, and throbs, and throbs, muscles tensing the way they had, once, when his mother pulled him aside and touched a live Zidian to his skin and told him the few ways he could use it to help, instead of hurt.

Orgasm feels like a storm breaking, like waves crashing senselessly against the cliffs, like a sudden, simultaneous flight of the waterfowl, the susurration of a thousand wingbeats as one. It’s terrifying, and then it’s over.

“Stop,” Jiang Cheng groans, pushing Wei Wuxian away. Wei Wuxian whines, like he’s being dealt an injustice, but his lips finally come away from Jiang Cheng’s skin, his fingers finally still. Jiang Cheng can still feel the echoes of them between his legs, sloppy and wet and too flush with endorphins to feel raw. He can feel his heartbeat pulsing there.

Something like a sob works its way up his throat, but he doesn’t, can’t, give it voice, even as that telling heat blooms behind his eyes, within his sinuses. It takes several long, deep breaths, before he’s okay to look up at Wei Wuxian and - 

Wei Wuxian is staring down at him, lips red and swollen, breath still harsh. His eyes are deep and dark and hungry, the way they had been, once, when Jiang Cheng had seen him for the first time in three awful months. It feels like they’ve done something irrevocable, unchangeable, binding. Heavy with meaning and yet utterly incomprehensible.

He swallows, looking away. “You should put it in, now,” Jiang Cheng says, his voice thin and weak like the dizzying pulse of his heartbeat.

Wei Wuxian swallows, and nods, eyes not once leaving Jiang Cheng’s face as he gets up on his knees and slowly reaches down for the ties of his pants. Like this, Jiang Cheng can see the shape of him straining against the crisp cotton, the place where he’s made a mess of himself, wet enough to seep through the fabric.

“Um,” Wei Wuxian starts, pushing his pants down so that his cock springs free. It’s… bigger, than Wei Wuxian’s fingers. Jiang Cheng sucks in a deep breath and holds it for a second. Trying to calm that tiny flicker of uncertainty, that even tinier flicker of curiosity. Failing.

“Do you want to - “ Wei Wuxian makes a gesture, sitting back on his heels. “You can - on top of me? If you want. It’s easier that way. I won’t look, if you don’t want me to. Honestly, I’ll - I’ll probably be fast.”

He laughs, quiet and embarrassed, that frightening, hungry thing slinking back under the guise of Wei Wuxian’s submission, his careful consideration for Jiang Cheng’s delicate needs. It makes something snappish and snarling rise up in his chest, offended that Wei Wuxian thinks his sensibilities so fragile that he could not allow himself to lie under Wei Wuxian. As if that wasn’t what he had been doing since the beginning of this tryst.

It makes something smaller, something hidden behind layers and layers of defenses swell, grateful for the chance, the offer of some semblance of autonomy, even if he doesn’t want it.

Jiang Cheng shakes his head. “You do it,” he says quietly, gruffly, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as he spreads his legs. He doesn’t miss the way Wei Wuxian’s eyes flick down, like they can’t help themselves, that hunger bleeding through for a half-second. “I trust you.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breathes. “Okay. Okay, Jiang Cheng, Okay.”

And then he crowds a little closer to Jiang Cheng, kneeling up between his still-splayed legs. “Um, do you want me to get… oil? Or something? I know Lan Zhan has some in his qiankun pouch - “

“Please don’t talk about your husband when you’re about to fuck me,” Jiang Cheng drawls. “It’s fine. You’ve, uh. You’ve done a good job getting me… ready.”

Wei Wuxian swallows hard, his eyes all pupil-dark and eager. “You sure?” he asks, even if he nudges closer, close enough for his cock to brush against the slick, pink skin between Jiang Cheng’s legs. His hips twitch up, almost in a welcome.

Wei Wuxian startles, just a little, staring wide-eyed up at Jiang Cheng as if waiting to be reprimanded for his audacity. Jiang Cheng just nods, trying to school his face into something close to approval. He’s not sure how successful he is, because Wei Wuxian takes one look at his face and then drops his gaze, shoulders trembling just the slightest bit as his hand comes down to wrap loosely around his cock.

“I’m going to… put it in,” Wei Wuxian mumbles, not looking at Jiang Cheng. Still just staring at his hand around his own cock, at the place where they touch. 

“Do it,” Jiang Cheng says, shutting his eyes, waiting.

It feels like an eternity, before he feels the press of Wei Wuxian’s cock against his hole. It’s, it feels… big, compared to what Jiang Cheng’s had so far. There’s a half-moment of fear, that it would hurt, or that something will go wrong, before Wei Wuxian nudges his hips closer and pushes in.

It’s big - its, it’s big, but in a good way, the heat of the stretch warming up his cooled-down body, an echo of the pleasure of before rising up in the back of his mind. He feels the pop of the head of Wei Wuxian’s cock pushing through, and after that, it’s all smooth. Satisfying, almost, in the way that his body was once empty, and now it is full. Before he even realizes it, he’s squeezing down on it, feeling the extent to which he is filled, to which his body, which had been aching for something it had never known before, had been sated.

Above him, Wei Wuxian breathes out a slow and heavy breath, shaking with the effort of staying controlled. He’s waiting, Jiang Cheng realizes - not to get used to the feeling of being inside Jiang Cheng so much as he is waiting for Jiang Cheng’s final reckoning. “Good?” Jiang Cheng asks, quiet enough that he’s not sure Wei Wuxian had even heard.

Wei Wuxian’s startled laughter explodes out of his chest, head hung low so Jiang Cheng can’t see his expression as he says, “ Fuck, Jiang Cheng. It’s good. It’s really, really good. If you ask me to move right now I might just explode.”

Jiang Cheng snorts, quiet in his amusement. “Isn’t that a good thing? Put us both out of our misery,” he says, nudging the back of Wei Wuxian’s thigh with his leg.

Wei Wuxian freezes. Eyes slowly rise from Jiang Cheng’s chest to his face, big enough that Jiang Cheng can see the whites. “Is it - do you want me to - “ he stammers, hips threatening to draw back.

Jiang Cheng’s legs are quicker, though, wrapping around Wei Wuxian’s hips and pulling him back in. “Stop it. It’s fine. You’re fine,” Jiang Cheng says, voice weary and soft at the edges. Content, after his orgasm; exhausted and lax from everything after that. “You can keep going.”

“Okay,” Wei Wuxian breathes, and it’s a soft and trembling thing.

Slowly, achingly slowly, Wei Wuxian pulls back - just enough that Jiang Cheng can feel the faintest stretch at his rim from the head, before pushing back in. Wei Wuxian’s breath comes out in a soft moan, head bowed like a man in prayer, hands planted heavy on either side of Jiang Cheng, caging him in. In any other circumstance, for anyone else, Jiang Cheng would’ve planted his knee between their legs and left the room. But instead, for Wei Wuxian, he shivers underneath him, body squeezing, feeling every inch of Wei Wuxian inside of him.

Wei Wuxian goes slow, his movements carefully controlled - whether for his own sake or Jiang Cheng’s, Jiang Cheng doesn’t know. But Jiang Cheng isn’t having any of it - 

“Come on. Faster,” Jiang Cheng says, his voice tight and a little breathless as he impatiently squirms.

“I’m doing you a favor, you know,” Wei Wuxian chokes out, his hips stuttering into Jiang Cheng’s welcome heat. “I’m super annoying when I’m getting fucked. Or, I guess, when I’m fucking someone. Super annoying - I literally - ah - I literally can’t shut up. If you get me started I won’t be able to stop.”

“You tell me that like that’s something I don’t know already. How is it any different from when you’re not fucking someone?” Jiang Cheng asks, clenching his muscles. It makes him squeeze around Wei Wuxian, makes Wei Wuxian’s hips stutter as he breathes out a little laugh, arms shaking with every little thrust.

“Ah, Jiang Cheng, ah. You’re going to be the death of me,” Wei Wuxian gasps, his hips speeding up. “You feel so fucking good, you know that? Don’t tell Lan Zhan, but I think your pu - I think your hole might be a strong contender for my favorite thing to put my dick into. Fuck, Jiang Cheng, you’re - you’re really, really wet.”

Jiang Cheng shivers, ears heating from the filth coming out of Wei Wuxian’s mouth. “Ha, look - you already regret it. This is what you asked for,” Wei Wuxian groans, punctuating his every word with a sharp thrust that has Jiang Cheng’s breath coming out hot. “Do you know what you sounded like when I put my mouth on you? I was so hard. I thought I was gonna come just rubbing off on the bed.”

“ Wei Wuxian, ” Jiang Cheng groans, as Wei Wuxian shifts, lifting Jiang Cheng’s hips up a little before continuing. The angle is - the angle puts him right up against that thing inside, that thing he’d been playing with when he was fingering Jiang Cheng, that thing that made everything go hot and white and sharp.

“I held it for you,” Wei Wuxian says, breath going shaky as he makes Jiang Cheng squeeze around him. “It would’ve taken too long to get it back up if I came, and you would’ve gotten mad. So the entire time I was sucking your - your cock, I was trying to decide which one I liked better: Lan Zhan’s cum or your, uh, your wetness. To distract myself, you know.”

Wei Wuxian laughs, sharp and breathless. “I couldn’t decide.”

“Wei Wuxian, fuck, ” Jiang Cheng gasps, breath gone ragged from the heat, the stretch, the feeling of Wei Wuxian over him and around him and in him. Wei Wuxian fucks him like he can’t help himself, like he’s just as undone as Jiang Cheng had been, taking deep, selfish strokes as he babbles every filthy thought he’s had for the past however long into Jiang Cheng’s ear.

The sounds they make - not just the constant, start-and-stop murmur of Wei Wuxian’s voice or the harsh, desperate lungfuls of air shared between them, but the slap of skin on skin, the filthy wet noise of their bodies coming together again and again and again; Jiang Cheng can feel it, that strange and squirming tension in his lower belly, the uncontrollable pulse of his core. It feels like much too soon for him to be standing again at the precipice, overlooking those strange and stormy waters, but here he is, nudging closer and closer to the edge with every thrust of Wei Wuxian’s cock inside him.

“Ah, Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian groans, head dropping to Jiang Cheng’s chest, forehead-to-scar. “Ah, Jiang Cheng, you feel so good - I don’t think I can last.”

They’re so close it almost feels like an embrace. Jiang Cheng can’t help but feel - something - about that, his chest going tight, shoulders shaking from more than just the incandescent sensation between his legs. His hands come around Wei Wuxian’s head, fingers gently scratching his scalp as Wei Wuxian whines on top of him.

“ Jiang Cheng, ” Wei Wuxian groans, nuzzling his face into the valley between Jiang Cheng’s pecs.

“Shut up. Come here,” Jiang Cheng murmurs, pulling Wei Wuxian closer, letting him settle his weight more heavily upon Jiang Cheng’s body. Wei Wuxian’s desperate thrusts settle into a slow and insistent grind, his cock hardly even pulling out anymore. Jiang Cheng… likes it. That Wei Wuxian is here, plastered all along his front, holding onto him like it’s just another summer evening, like they’ve just weathered another storm together. It helps to fill some aching, hungry void in him that he’d learned to ignore long, long ago - just a little, just enough to notice.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, breath wet against Jiang Cheng’s collarbone as he digs his hands underneath him, clutching his shoulderblades in a way that should be uncomfortable, but mostly just feels familiar.

“Mm,” Jiang Cheng hums, slipping his eyes shut as Wei Wuxian shivers against him, the slow, steady movement of his hips lighting up something bright inside him. Jiang Cheng clenches his muscles for him, squeezing down on Wei Wuxian enough to make him laugh, to make his hips stutter in, chasing the feeling.

“I like this,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, arms squeezing tight around Jiang Cheng’s middle. “I’ve missed you.”

“Be quiet,” Jiang Cheng rumbles, squeezing again for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian makes a choked-off little sound, burying his face into Jiang Cheng’s neck as he breathes, shivery and soft. 

“I’m sorry.”

It comes out so soft Jiang Cheng almost doesn’t hear it under the sound of his heartbeat, under the sound of their slow and heavy breaths. He’s not even sure if he’s meant to hear it, and even if he was, he’s in no state of mind to actually address it. It’s a good thing, probably, because if he did, they would, undoubtedly, be right back where they started - yelling at each other, struggling to be heard.

Instead, here they are, closer than they’ve been, well, ever, curled up with one another as if they didn’t have decades between them, a thousand miles from one aching heart to the next. There’s so much that needs to be said, and finally, when they’re in this space to say it - they can’t bring themselves to say anything at all.

Sometimes a body just needs a body. Wei Wuxian used to be everything to Jiang Cheng. He can’t be, anymore, but even this is enough. To be held close. To be safe and comforted. It’s a pale specter of the intimacy they’d had when Jiang Cheng thought them soulmates once upon a time, but it’s enough.

“Hey, are you - “ Wei Wuxian starts, hips slowing to a stop inside Jiang Cheng. “Oh, Jiang Cheng, don’t cry - oh, please don’t cry,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, trying to get up to his elbows to look at Jiang Cheng properly.

Jiang Cheng only pulls him tighter against him, voice rough as he says, “Keep going.”

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian gasps, desperate to understand, to fix, like he always does. “Jiang Cheng don’t cry - it’s good. You’re good, it feels good, right?” he murmurs, soft and soothing as he presses chaste little kisses anywhere his mouth can reach. The sort of kisses you’d use to comfort a crying child.

“Feels good,” Jiang Cheng rasps, tears blurring his vision. “Keep going.”

He can feel the doubt and hesitation in Wei Wuxian’s body. He doesn’t want that - doesn’t want to break this soft and quiet thing between them. He’s always breaking things - is it so much to ask that he have this one, small thing for himself? “Are you sure?” Wei Wuxian asks, quiet and worried.

“Yeah. Harder,” Jiang Cheng chokes out.

Wei Wuxian hesitates a moment longer. But then he steels himself, pulling away to readjust their positions. It feels cold, when Wei Wuxian leaves, but then he’s back up in Jiang Cheng’s space, hitching Jiang Cheng’s legs over his shoulders. “Good?” Wei Wuxian asks, voice still tinted with worry. 

“Good,” Jiang Cheng says, sniffing back tears. “Do it.”

“Okay,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, pressing a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s jaw. And then, he does it.

At this angle, Wei Wuxian’s cock feels bigger, stretching Jiang Cheng’s hole a little wider as he pushes in. Like this, he can feel the entire length of Wei Wuxian driving into him, his hips grinding up against the over-sensitive thing in front while his cock drags along that spot inside. It almost feels like too much, lighting up Jiang Cheng’s overwrought nerves until he feels fucked out and raw. 

But… but Wei Wuxian is right there, face just inches from Jiang Cheng’s, close enough that Jiang Cheng’s eyes go a little unfocused trying to look at him. His body is curled over Jiang Cheng’s, the weight of him settling against Jiang Cheng’s skin, in turns comforting and protective in a way Jiang Cheng hasn’t felt since he was 13, when he’d nearly drowned from getting hit in the head as he resurfaced. Jiang Cheng’s never let anyone else get this close, no one but Wei Wuxian, and it brings to life some needy, yearning thing inside him, aching to be held.

In a fit of - of wild impulse, Jiang Cheng lets that hungry thing take over, lets his body curl into Wei Wuxian’s like a flower seeking light, lets his hands grasp onto whatever of Wei Wuxian’s he can have, before it disappears in the morning like a dream. Jiang Check cracks open the brittle walls of his defenses with his own hands, offers himself up to Wei Wuxian, if only to be held a few moments longer.

Wei Wuxian takes it. He curls closer to Jiang Cheng, practically bending him in half as he fucks him as hard as he can bear, nosing at Jiang Cheng’s neck until his skin has gone damp from sweat and the condensation from Wei Wuxian’s breath. He’s everywhere, the light and heat of him filling up Jiang Cheng’s insides, and Jiang Cheng drinks deeply, knowing he’ll never let himself have it again.

“Wei Wuxian, I think I’m - “ Jiang Cheng gasps, that familiar flush of heat rolling down his chest, washing through his limbs like a breath of fresh air after a long dive.

“Wh - Really? Oh, fuck, Jiang Cheng, you can’t tell me that, I’ll - “ Wei Wuxian groans, hips stuttering as Jiang Cheng’s body starts to bear down on him, helpless against the tides of his own pleasure.

“Keep - keep fucking me, oh fuck, oh fuck, ” Jiang Cheng groans, his body going rigid, snapping like a shard of broken cliffside, washed away with the water and the pounding beat of Wei Wuxian’s heart.

Wei Wuxian whines, skin going white where Jiang Cheng’s held on too tight, body trembling with the effort of keeping in motion when all he wants to do is bury himself deep in Jiang Cheng’s heat and not come out.

It feels like forever - like 13 years and 3 months, like a lifetime and beyond - before Jiang Cheng’s body finally goes lax and easy, breath coming in time with Wei Wuxian’s frantic thrusts. He wants to squeeze down, wants to give Wei Wuxian something to fuck into, but he can’t; he can’t, when he’s been reduced to this boneless mass of fizzing pleasure - not that Wei Wuxian cares.

For once, Wei Wuxian is quiet, his stream-of-consciousness babbling giving way to wordless grunts of effort, to shivery groans and half-mumbled Jiang Cheng s. He’s close - Jiang Cheng knows it not by the way the rhythm of his thrusts slows by a half-beat, or the way his arms tremble, or the way he tucks closer, and closer still into Jiang Cheng’s body, but rather, he knows it in the way he’d known that it was Wei Wuxian that’d come back to life that night on Dafan mountain. He just knows.

"Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian groans, "Jiang Cheng, I don't think I can - "

"Do it," Jiang Cheng says, squeezing down as best he can when his bones feel like still waters. "Come on, do it."

" Ah, Ah, " Wei Wuxian whimpers, hips stuttering in a few more times before he stills, hips pushed hard against Jiang Cheng's like he can't bring himself to pull out just yet.

That's fine by Jiang Cheng. He's not quite ready for this thing that's come over them to end. Not quite ready for Wei Wuxian to pull away, to keep him at arm's length, to treat him with the distance his station - and his harsh words, his snapping fangs - demands.

Gently, quietly, Jiang Cheng brushes his hand through Wei Wuxian's sweaty hair, and when Wei Wuxian's breath hitches, when he leans into the touch, Jiang Cheng nearly flinches away. But he doesn't.

It's just Wei Wuxian - not something untouchable, not something out of his grasp. He's allowed to have this, if only for one evening. Wei Wuxian finally goes liquid, dropping bodily onto Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng welcomes him, holding him closer to his body until they run out of excuses to stay.

Wei Wuxian lets himself linger a few breaths longer, his cock slowly softening inside of Jiang Cheng’s body until finally, it slips out, leaving a little trail of cum and wetness along Jiang Cheng’s thigh. It seems as good a reason for Wei Wuxian to get up as any, but at the merest twitch of his muscles, Jiang Cheng locks him down, holding him against his chest a little while longer.

Wei Wuxian doesn’t say anything, but the tension goes out of his body alongside a sigh of relief. Jiang Cheng feels unpleasantly sticky between his legs, the sweat on his body and Wei Wuxian’s long gone tacky and uncomfortable. But he’s not ready to go yet. 

It’s not until they’re dozing off, like they would after a hard day of training or a long hunt, before Jiang Cheng finally asks, “How long?”

“Mmh?” Wei Wuxian yawns, smushing his face against Jiang Cheng’s chest.

“How much longer do we have until we know if I’m safe?” Jiang Cheng asks.

“Took about 6 hours for you to manifest your - uh. So I assume it’d take as long to get the rest of your body back in order,” Wei Wuxian reasons, hands curling into Jiang Cheng’s sides. “Why? Are you finally kicking me out?”

Jiang Cheng can feel Wei Wuxian tensing, getting ready to move, but clinging to the last second of it. It settles something deep in Jiang Cheng’s bones

“Mm,” Jiang Cheng hums noncommittally. “No.”

He could, should, make an excuse for why - like there’d be no point in your leaving if something goes wrong, or It’s late and your husband’s already asleep; you might as well stay or hell, even maybe we should try again in a few hours, just to make sure. But when nothing comes, Wei Wuxian eventually, slowly, relaxes back against him, sticky sweat-skin and all.

And then, of course, because it’s Wei Wuxian, he asks, “Are we, y’know, good?”

“Mm,” Jiang Cheng hums, brain too slow with sleep to want to think about it. “What do you mean?”

“When you get your junk back and we part ways again. Can I expect, y’know, this? Or should I be bracing for Sect Leader Jiang?” Wei Wuxian asks.

“Dunno,” Jiang Cheng hums, burying his face into Wei Wuxian’s hair. It smells like sweat and smoke and sandalwood, a far cry from what Jiang Cheng remembers, but it smells like Wei Wuxian nonetheless. “Ask me in the morning.”

“Okay, but what if you’re weird in the morning? What if you kick me out? You’re, like, five million times worse when you wake up,” Wei Wuxian whines. “Don’t repay my sacrifice with cruelty, Jiang Cheng!”

Jiang Cheng freezes, and Wei Wuxian freezes too. But before he can let the bitterness surge and ask Wei Wuxian if it really was so much of a burden, Wei Wuxian titters loudly and says, “You know, after all this, it’s going to be really, really hard for me. Now I know what good pussy tastes like and I’ll never have it again.”

“Fuck off,” Jiang Cheng groans, pushing Wei Wuxian off of him. Wei Wuxian whines about it, reaching out for Jiang Cheng.

When Jiang Cheng finally concedes to being pushed back down on the bed, Wei Wuxian says, quietly, “It wasn’t a sacrifice. It’s never a sacrifice, if it’s for you.”

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng says, too tired to have this conversation again.

“That being said, I’m - I’ll do better. I’m learning to do better,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, curling around Jiang Cheng’s arm and snuggling in. “I’ve got things I don’t want to leave behind again. Once is enough.”

Jiang Cheng wants to believe that. He really, really does. Maybe it’s the exhaustion of - of everything that happened, or the curse, or just his own damn bad sense. But he can’t help but lean in, press his forehead against Wei Wuxian’s, says, “Mark your words. Once is enough.”

Wei Wuxian giggles, soft and tired, as one of his hands comes up to cup Jiang Cheng’s jaw. “You know you’re included in that, too, right?”

Something in Jiang Cheng’s chest aches - the good kind of ache. The ache that tells him some old, deep hurt is finally starting to heal. “ Wei Wuxian, ” Jiang Cheng breathes, tilting his head up to brush his lips against Wei Wuxian’s forehead. It’s not a proper kiss - a coward’s kiss, if anything, but it’s enough. Wei Wuxian should know.

Against him, Wei Wuxian’s breath hitches, and before Jiang Cheng knows it, he’s laid him on his back, pressing their lips properly together. Jiang Cheng gasps, and Wei Wuxian lets him gasp, and then they kiss, and kiss, and kiss.