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Jen wakes with a start, unsure for a moment what’s going on or where she is—it’s been common since the accident; the doctors put her on some heavy painkillers for her fucked up back and they tended to also knock her the fuck out, making it difficult to wake up clear-headed. She’s been slowly weaning off of them, though, taking them only when the pain is unbearable, so she’s not sure why she’s so groggy right now.
She looks over to the bedside clock in the pitch black room and sees that it’s only 2am—that’s why.
Then she becomes aware of what actually woke her up.
Judy.
More specifically, Judy, one leg thrown over hers, rhythmically grinding into Jen’s thigh.
But she appears to be asleep—her eyes are shut and her breath is coming out in short puffs (pants, really) into Jen’s neck.
Fuck.
Jen tries to take stock of the situation: she’s laying on her back, as she has tended to do since the accident. Judy’s left arm is thrown over her waist but Jen isn’t sure where her right arm is (is a little bit nervous—or is it excited?—about where it might be). Her head is cradled between Jen’s neck and shoulder, and her center is pressed directly into the middle of Jen’s thigh.
Jen’s thigh, where she can feel the heat of Judy as she continues to grind, seemingly endlessly.
She feels her whole body flush and as she shifts slightly she can feel her own wetness starting to pool.
Okay seriously. What the fuck.
It’s not that Jen doesn’t know that she’s attracted to Judy—anyone with eyes would be attracted to Judy—but things between them are… complicated, even more so since the accident. When Jen got out of the hospital with an even more fucked up back than before, Judy was all too willing to help her with anything she could. And for convenience sake, had also started sleeping in Jen’s bed with her ( their bed, now) every night.
And sure, Jen has had some dreams about Judy. And she might take longer in the shower sometimes to take care of things.
But she would never act on those feelings, because Judy deserves better—deserves someone like Michelle. Someone who isn’t filled with rage and struggles with emotions and carries so many scars (both inside and out) that make her completely unworthy.
But Judy—Judy is grinding on her without stopping and Jen can’t even fucking think, can’t even breathe.
She knows she should wake Judy up, but how can she? Like, oh hey Judy, I know it’s only 1am but you were fucking humping me like there’s no tomorrow and my overwhelming love for you is making it torture to not fucking take you right now?
And then Judy lets out a borderline pornographic—albeit quiet—moan into Jen’s neck and Jen’s body jerks as if she’s been electrocuted.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Luckily the movement disrupts the motion of Judy’s hips and then she shifts, her hold loosening on Jen’s waist. Jen takes the opportunity to jump out of the bed and rush into the bathroom without even looking to see if Judy’s awake, closing the door as quietly as she can before turning on the shower light to minimize the brightness coming under the door.
She looks at herself in the mirror, sees the flush that’s risen from her chest to her cheeks and the way her eyes are near black. She can still feel Judy against her, the heat of her against her skin, the way she was moving her hips into Jen’s body.
And then she looks down and notices the wet spot on her pajama pants. The wet spot that’s from Judy.
And maybe she can blame it on the late hour in the morning, on not being fully awake, on simply needing the stress relief, but Jen can’t find it in herself to make up a reason as she shoves her fingers down her pants, working herself to orgasm with Judy’s name silent on her lips.
Things are normal (for them) after that.
Maybe Jen can’t get the memory of the way Judy felt against her—of the way Judy sounded against her throat—out of her head, but that doesn’t mean she’s letting it affect their friendship.
(If she’s a bit more clumsy, stares a bit longer, well—Judy probably doesn’t notice.)
Of course they’re constantly touching but that’s not anything new, and it doesn’t mean the same to Judy as it does to Jen. Jen knows that Judy’s the most fucking affectionate person in the world, and Jen has grown to crave it. After that night—that horrible fucking night when she told Judy that she loved anyone who gave her attention even if it was abusive—Jen has worked extra hard to show Judy that she’s deserving of positive attention, of unconditional love. Judy said she forgave Jen and that Jen needed to forgive herself, but that didn’t mean that Jen wasn’t going to show her as much love as she could.
(Even if it’s gross. Even if Judy never feels the same.)
So Jen continues accepting (craving) Judy’s affections, living for the nights when they just watch TV in their bed, Judy tucked into Jen’s shoulder.
And if she takes extra long showers sometimes remembering that night… it doesn’t mean anything.
Except.
It happens again.
Jen hasn’t taken any of her painkillers in the last week since the first incident . She wants to be clear headed, but she’s also had a hard time sleeping well in general—always on high alert.
Which means she wakes up immediately at Judy’s first shift. Every part of Jen’s body is on high alert. Unlike last time she’s laying on her side and Judy is curled up against her back.
(Yes, Jen likes to be the little spoon. No, it never has to be discussed.)
So Jen feels when Judy’s arm suddenly tightens around her waist; when her leg slightly slips in between Jen’s own. She feels when Judy’s hand slips under her shirt and starts slowly caressing the skin of her stomach. Hears the soft moan Judy lets out against her neck. Feels her own wetness start to pool once again.
Fuck, here we go again.
She shifts, slightly, seeing if she can get out of Judy’s hold—except it backfires and Judy starts grinding into her ass, starting to let out little panting breaths into her neck causing Jen to choke back a moan herself and nearly grind backwards.
No, she cannot do this. She cannot take advantage of sleeping Judy just because she can’t control her own fucking attraction.
Except now Judy’s hand is creeping upwards towards her breast, and through the ever present anxiety she feels at anything near her chest, she feels the rush of arousal through her body and then the hand is cupping her breast and what the fuck is she supposed to do now?
She has to wake Judy up, has to work through what will be a highly embarrassing conversation before this goes any further except then Judy’s leg presses further in between hers and—fuck—she moans again into Jen’s neck, except this time she definitely moans Jen’s name.
She’s having a sex dream about Jen?
This cannot be happening.
Except Judy is grinding again, pushing her leg in between Jen’s—right into the place where Jen fucking needs her—and Jen realizes she’s shifting back and her hand is holding Judy’s in place on her breast and when did that happen?
And then she hears it again.
“Jen,” Judy pants against her neck. “Fuck, Jen.”
And Jen’s whole body feels like it’s on fucking fire, she can feel herself trembling and is trying to figure out what to do when Judy mumbles, “Feel so good” and then she feels a fucking kiss being pressed to her neck and she realizes—Judy is awake?
She turns, quickly, and then Judy is on her back and Jen is hovering over her and Judy’s eyes are open, looking up at her, and her chest is heaving and before Jen can figure out her next move Judy is whimpering “Jen please” and surging up to kiss her and then they’re kissing and what the fuck she’s kissing Judy and it feels so good she can’t believe she hasn’t spent her whole life kissing Judy.
It’s a messy kiss, sloppy in the way Jen’s always hated with men but can’t imagine any other way with Judy, not right now. She feels Judy’s tongue slide against the roof of her mouth, feels their teeth clash as they devour each other, only separating when the need for air becomes too great.
Jen pulls away, breaths heaving, and looks down at Judy, knowing she isn’t hiding the fucking awe on her face.
“What are we doing?” Jen finally asks.
“I thought that was pretty obvious.” Judy grins cheekily at her, thrusting her hips up into Jen and causing her to let out a gasp.
“But you-” She pauses, looks at Judy’s smirk beneath her. “You weren’t asleep just now, were you?”
Judy’s smile gets even wider.
“What the fuck Judy?”
The woman in question shrugs (cuter than fucking necessary) and says, “Last week I woke up when you left the bed… remembering my dream, I kind of had a guess as to why. Then when you couldn’t stop staring at me this week—more than usual of course—I was sure of it, but I knew you would never make the move.”
Jen is speechless for a moment, looking down into Judy’s smug face.
She fucking played her.
But then in the next moment she realizes she can’t be mad, because Judy is spread beneath her—Judy, who she has been fantasizing about for nearly a year now, and who apparently wants her too.
Yeah, she’s just gonna take advantage of this situation now.
She surges forward again, capturing Judy’s lips and then quickly moving past her mouth, down to her neck, nipping the skin quickly (and relishing the noise Judy makes) before soothing it with her tongue. She makes her way down Judy’s chest, reaching down and untying the kimono she sleeps in and suddenly finds herself face to face with Judy’s absolutely fucking flawless chest.
She must be staring too long because suddenly Judy’s saying, “You can touch, you know?” and then Jen’s acting on impulse, bending down and taking a nipple in her mouth, relishing in the low moan she drags from Judy’s mouth. She takes the other between her fingers, paying attention to Judy’s reactions and the way her body responds. She moves her mouth down Judy’s stomach, alternating between licking and biting her skin as Judy’s hips buck into her.
“Jen please.”
“Please what?” Jen asks, followed by a sharp bite to her hip bone.
“I need you,” Judy pants.
Jen sits up slightly and hooks her fingers into Judy’s underwear—she’s relishing the control she has right now, the power she feels more than making up for her lack of experience with a woman. “How do you need me?”
“Jen,” she whines, shifting her hips, trying to make Jen take off her underwear. Jen smirks at her, unmoving until finally Judy breaths out, “Fuck me, please.”
And the words break something in Jen, some animalistic instinct she’s never felt before, never even knew existed in her and she pulls Judy’s underwear down, can’t believe how fucking wet Judy is already.
“Oh my God,” Judy breaths out, bucking into her fingers.
Jen slides her fingers down, pausing briefly at Judy’s entrance before circling back up to her clit. The angle is different than what she’s used to (and holy shit is Judy wetter than Jen thinks she’s ever been herself), but with the way Judy is reacting she thinks she must be doing something right.
She leans forward to Judy’s chest, kissing along her breasts again as her fingers work. She slides in one finger, then two at the lack of resistance, starting a steady rhythm. Judy starts matching her thrust for thrust, panting breaths (almost whines, really) coming from her mouth. Jen shifts the angle of her hand to find Judy’s clit again with her thumb and Judy lets out a high pitched squeak, causing Jen to immediately put her mouth back on Judy’s to muffle the noise.
(God fucking forbid one of the boys walk in right now—talk about trauma.)
They’re barely even kissing, mostly just panting into each other’s mouths, lips occasionally coming together as Jen thrusts her fingers, swiping her thumb across Judy’s clit each time. Judy’s hips start to lose their rhythm and her pants grow higher in pitch.
“ Jen—”
And fuck if her bedroom voice isn’t the hottest thing Jen has ever heard (and needs to keep hearing for the rest of time).
She pushes deeper, harder, stretching her fingers and hitting a spot inside Judy that immediately has the other woman’s entire body going rigid as she’s suddenly coming with a silent scream in her throat. She can feel Judy clenching around her fingers so tightly she can hardly even move them anymore; she presses her lips to Judy’s mouth, cheeks, nose, as she waits for her to ride it out—her body finally releasing back onto the mattress with a sigh. Jen pulls her fingers delicately out, considering them for a second before bringing them to her mouth, groaning at the taste of Judy on her tongue.
“Fuck,” she hears the word drop from Judy’s lips, looks up to see Judy staring at her with her pupils blown and swollen lips—looking thoroughly fucked herself. “You really are heaven on a stick,” she says, before sitting up and capturing Jen’s lips, pushing her onto her back. She’s almost frantic, pulling at Jen’s clothes, not even giving Jen the chance to be self conscious when Judy is looking at her and kissing her like that.
She tenses slightly as Judy’s lips brush by her chest, relaxing as they move further down until she gets to the top of her underwear and then takes it between her fucking teeth and starts pulling it down, ignoring Jen’s choked breath of surprise and somehow not hearing the way her heart stops and starts back double time.
Once the underwear is gone Judy sits back on her heels for a second, looking Jen up and down with a hungry expression on her face—an expression that turns cheeky as soon as she meets Jen’s eyes.
“Nice legs…” Judy says, putting her hands on Jen’s legs and starting to move them upwards, subtly parting them and she begins to lean forward. “But I think they’ll look better on my shoulders.” And then she has the audacity to fucking wink before her tongue is on Jen, running down the length of her and immediately dipping into her entrance.
And Jen can’t even yell at Judy like she wants to for that, can’t do anything except grip Judy’s hair for dear life because Jesus Christ how can she be that good with her tongue?
Judy’s licking at Jen like her life depends on it, thrusting her tongue in and out before moving up to Jen’s swollen clit, moving her tongue back and forth against it as a finger suddenly enters her, making her thrust up in surprise. Judy’s other hand moves to Jen’s hip, pinning it down with surprising strength as she continues working Jen up faster than anyone ever has before. She’s trying to match Judy’s rhythm, trying to keep her moans quiet until suddenly she feels the graze of Judy’s teeth over her clit, and Judy’s mouth wrapping around it completely, her tongue flicking back and forth.
Jen feels her legs start shaking and the heat is coiling in her belly and Judy can barely hold her hips down and she’s never felt like this before, never chased something this intense but she can feel it building and can hear herself muttering “don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop” and then Judy’s teeth graze against her again along with one hard thrust from her fingers and then Jen is coming, hard , her vision blacking out and a ringing echoing through her ears.
When she comes back to herself Judy is leaning over her, an elbow propped next to Jen’s chest and a semi-amused, semi-concerned look on her face.
“What the fuck, Judy,” Jen finally manages to spit out, her voice much more breathless than she would like.
Judy’s expression turns to be fully amused. “That good, huh?”
“I would shove you but I can’t feel my limbs yet.”
“I can feel them if you need help making sure they’re still there.”
“Don’t you dare… yet.”
She opens her eyes (hadn’t even realized she closed them again) and Judy’s still there, still staring at her, smiling, like she has all the love in the world and is giving it to Jen.
And Jen can’t believe it, still doesn’t think she deserves it, but fuck if Judy isn’t beautiful and perfect and everything that’s good in her life so there is no way she’s taking it for granted.
And she’s about to open her mouth, about to tell Judy how much she loves her when Judy smirks again, and says: “I told you your legs would look better on my shoulders, didn’t I? How right was I?”
“Oh my God, Judy, you’re such a fucking dork.” She halfheartedly tries to shove Judy off of her (and definitely isn’t glad when Judy holds tight, buries her head into Jen’s neck.)
“But I’m your dork,” Judy says, shifting her head back to look up at Jen. “Right?”
Jen sighs—obviously she can never deny Judy anything. Even when she’s being sappy and gross.
“Yes, you’re my dork.” She puts her finger under Judy’s chin, lifting her face up to look up at her again. “And I love you,” she says, much softer, not holding anything back from her expression.
And Judy smiles like this is something she’s known all along, like she was just waiting for Jen to catch up—and she probably fucking was—and simply replies, “I love you too.”