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You fell in love with her in the night.
On bus rides back to hotels and late nights staring at a TV under warm white hotel covers.
You fell in love with her sleepy voice. The one that turns raspy and slow. The one that sent shivers down your spine the first time you heard it. The one that comes out only after very long days. The one that is the true indicator of her sleepiness.
You fell in love with her tired eyes falling closed on your shoulder. She was warm and the embodiment of peace. Her dark hair was wet, pulled loosely into a bun. Her body covered in a warm sweatshirt and sweatpants and in warm soft socks that she made sure to point out had sharks on them.
Her head had slumped to your shoulder slowly and then the weight of it all at once like she was holding back- until she wasn't. Her breath leaks out onto your neck and goosebumps rise there. You wake her up when you arrive at the hotel, her eyes open slowly and she’s so close to you. You’re enthralled.
~
You talk then too. In quiet voices and with faces leaned close together. The dim lighting hits her eyes and you can't look away, can't breathe. But she's still talking so you try and focus on her words (words, not lips).
She lets her guard down a bit in the night too, the darkness provides a blanket, a promise that you won't ask. She lets her eyes fall to your face, and normally they would dart away quickly, but not now in the black, now she lets them stay and wander and explore the lines and colors and shapes.
She maps it out with her eyes, she connects the freckles and measures the distance between nose and lips and she memorizes the way your eyes look in the dark.
Knees knock in the dark and then they settle, leaning against each other like they were built like that.
Her fingers wrap around your wrist and hold. They stroke the inside of it and you let yourself fall into it.
It's so beautiful like this, quiet and pure, closed off from the rest of the universe. Just you and her.
~
It’s different in the day. More vibrant. The voices around you are louder and most of the time you join them. You sing along and conversate with those around you.
But you fall in love with her like this too.
With excitement shining in her eyes and with bouncing legs that can't contain their enthusiasm.
Her laughing at her own stupid jokes and her making fun of you but her hand rests on your knee while she does so you don't even care.
It's comforting at night. It's her voice knocking away all the mistakes or harsh words or self-deprecating thoughts.
She pushes them away with her quiet, soft words and with her deep chuckle that fills your ears with honey and sweetness.
You room together too.
You fall in love with her especially like this.
With messy hair and no makeup (except mascara) because she even sleeps with it on.
She's quiet late at night like she used all of her battery and now she's recharging but you're here and it feels special. Because it's quiet and peaceful and you've never just lived like this with someone before.
And sometimes you sneak room service and you both sit side by side, even though the other bed is right there, eating fries and spaghetti and ice cream and you forget about soccer and stress and you just sit.
~
When she kisses you it’s soft and sweet and her lips feel like honey and her skin like silk and her like dandelions.
It happened at night too.
Sitting in metal chairs on the patio outside your hotel room.
The wind was blowing, warm and thick. It hits your face and tugs at your hair.
It blows hers. Her hair is down and the wind spins it around her face until it’s tangled and wild.
You think she looks like an angel. It gets hard to breathe.
You think you’re staring because her lips are moving and talking but your eyes are trained, moving slowly over every detail of her face.
Taking in warm eyes and her perfect nose and cheekbones and her lips , full and pink.
She’s noticed now. Her lips have stopped moving and it’s so quiet. You watch pink spread across her cheeks and then your eyes fall back to her lips and you think she’s doing the same.
And then her lips move and her body stands up, your eyes look up in question. She’s standing over you.
Her warm eyes filled with intense passion, with strength and want? You can’t tell.
“Ali…” you whisper, even so, your voice cracks.
She takes a step and is standing right in front of your chair.
You don’t think you’re breathing anymore, the air is too thick and to slip through your parted lips.
She lets her body fall onto yours and her thighs cover your legs and her bare arms slip around your shoulders.
She’s so close.
Her eyes are trained on your lips, while yours search her face.
Her lips move. “Can I kiss you?” Ali’s voice is small and her breath hits your face.
“Yes, yes.” The words slip easily from your lips.
And then she kisses you.
It’s not rough. Her lips softly caress and it knocks the thoughts out of your head.
You let one hand slide up her jaw while the other moves around to encircle her waist. It slips barely under the hem of her shirt, her skin is warm. The feeling is addicting.
You’re not sure how long you kiss, but she pulls away, hair still tangled and messy around her face, her lips are smudged and her shirt ruffled.
The setting sun lights her face. You’ve never seen anything more beautiful than her in your lap, right here, right now.
She continues to sit there, you watch the sunset. Her weight on you is warm and welcome. It’s calming and settling.
When it gets dark you head in and each shower.
There’s no question about it, you climb into the same bed and her arms wrap around you.
She falls asleep with her hand on your stomach and her head on your chest. You breathe her in, the smell of her shampoo and condition fills your nose.
You silently thank all the nights that got you here. With her. And then you press a kiss to her forehead and sleep too.