Actions

Work Header

Yunmeng In-Laws

Summary:

Wen Qing: okay so like
Wen Qing: were either of you going to warn me
Wen Qing: that Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian were Like That?

Jin Zixuan: oh no

Lan Wangji: I take it you had your first Family Dinner.
Lan Wangji: I apologize for the lapse.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Wen Qing has created a group chat

Wen Qing: okay so like
Wen Qing: were either of you going to warn me
Wen Qing: that Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian were Like That?

Jin Zixuan: oh no

Lan Wangji: I take it you had your first Family Dinner.
Lan Wangji: I apologize for the lapse.

Jin Zixuan: wait Yu Ziyuan AND Jiang Femgmian? What did Yuefu do????

Wen Qing: it's mostly the lack of doing that's the problem 
Wen Qing: he just… SAT THERE
Wen Qing: he actually tried to make "ah you understand how it is" eyes at me

Jin Zixuan: I thought he was just quiet 

Lan Wangji: I'm just quiet. He's… 

Wen Qing: I think the word you are looking for is “avoidant.”

Lan Wangji: When he's not stoking her ire himself, yes.
Lan Wangji: He did help me defend Wei Ying when Madam Yu went over the line at my first Family Dinner.

Wen Qing: oh yes, he had a LOT to say about Wei Wuxian 
Wen Qing: which was interesting 
Wen Qing: on account of how he wasn't even there
Wen Qing: (no offense to your husband, you know I love A-Xian) 

Jin Zixuan: 🤔
Jin Zixuan: Actually now that you mention it
Jin Zixuan: Yuefu does seem surprisingly uninterested in A-Li’s accomplishments

Lan Wangji: How did Jiang Cheng react?

Wen Qing: he DIDN'T 

Lan Wangji: 😶

Wen Qing: you know how he and A-Xian go at it
Wen Qing: or he and… most people
Wen Qing: I thought he was going to snap his fork in half, but he didn't say anything

Lan Wangji: … how did YOU react?
Lan Wangji: And will you need bail?

Wen Qing: I may have given them a shovel talk
Wen Qing: possibly
Wen Qing: so

Jin Zixuan: 👀
Jin Zixuan: You gave
Jin Zixuan: Yuemu
Jin Zixuan: a shovel talk
Jin Zixuan: how are you aLIVE right now?

Lan Wangji: Gossip is forbidden.
Lan Wangji: So I am asking you directly... 
Lan Wangji: Please tell me exactly what you said. 

Wen Qing: she was going on about "from a good family, and a DOCTOR, and if I ever hear you made her unhappy blah blah blah"
Wen Qing: and A-Cheng is doing that thing where he looks MISERABLE but just won't say anything 

Lan Wangji: I am not familiar with that thing, but go on.

Jin Zixuan: ooooooh no, A-Li does that too 😔

Wen Qing: and I am thinking 
Wen Qing: first impressions
Wen Qing: this is not the moment
Wen Qing: he loves his parents, do not start a fight

Lan Wangji: … but?

Jin Zixuan: I take it this resolve did not last
Jin Zixuan: dread_and_anticipation.gif

Wen Qing: but then Jiang Fengmian turns to me and says

Lan Wangji: Oh no.

Wen Qing: "Haha, now you see where A-Cheng gets his temper from!"

Jin Zixuan: oh shit
Jin Zixuan: to be fair JC does have kind of a temper

Lan Wangji: No, you misunderstand - she likes that about him.
Lan Wangji: Is Lotus Pier still standing?

Wen Qing: Jiang Cheng’s temper or lack thereof is NOT THE FUCKING POINT
Wen Qing: THE FUCKING POINT
Wen Qing: IS WHY THE FUCK ANYONE WOULD TALK THAT WAY ABOUT THEIR SON
Wen Qing: ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF HIS GIRLFRIEND 
Wen Qing: WHO LOVES HIM
Wen Qing: AND WILL BURY ANYONE WHO PUTS HIM DOWN

Jin Zixuan: so are those the exact words you said to his parents
Jin Zixuan: during dinner
Jin Zixuan: on your first ever meeting?

Wen Qing:
Wen Qing: there may have been a few more fucks in real time, I don't recall 

Lan Wangji: orsonwellesapplause.gif

Jin Zixuan: I am both impressed and horrified 

Wen Qing: so anyway
Wen Qing: Dongzhi will be fun
Wen Qing: and I am giving you a heads up because unlike SOME PEOPLE 
Wen Qing: I believe in sharing intel

Lan Wangji: This is a Thing now, isn't it?

Jin Zixuan has renamed this group chat: 
“Jiang-Wei-Yu In-laws Intel-sharing Squad”

Lan Wangji: That is a very long group chat name.

Jin Zixuan: If you have a better one, feel free to change it

Lan Wangji has renamed this group chat: 
"Wen Qing's Army"

Wen Qing: 😂
Wen Qing: You get me.

 


 

Lan Wangji's phone buzzed, again. Wei Wuxian looked over in time to catch the little expression around his eyes that usually meant someone particularly unpleasant was about to receive their comeuppance. 

"Lan Zhan, who on earth have you been texting all night?"

Lan Wangji finished typing something out on his phone and then looked up at Wei Wuxian, his face softening to fondness as it always did when he looked at his husband. 

“Wen Qing just returned from being introduced to Mister Jiang and Madam Yu,” he said. 

Wei Wuxian winced. “Oh shit, that was today?” He scrambled for his own phone. “Is Jiang Cheng okay?”

He had a notification already.

 


group chat: "Best Sibs"

Jiang Cheng: I'm going to marry her.

Notes:

岳父 yuefu = wife’s father; 岳母 yuemu = wife’s mother
冬至 Dongzhi = Winter Solstice Festival, often celebrated with a family meal

Chapter 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Wen Qing’s Army

Jin Zixuan: Ok so
Jin Zixuan: Barring patricide

Wen Qing: Excellent opening
Wen Qing: Bodes well for the rest of that sentence

Lan Wangji: 😐

Jin Zixuan: How do I stop my dad from a) being shitty to my little brother and b) being creepy to literally every female friend A-Li and I bring around?

Wen Qing: … How committed are you to the no patricide thing

Jin Zixuan: Well for one thing the immediate family are always the first suspects
Jin Zixuan: And I have very little faith in my ability to commit the perfect crime

Wen Qing: Let me talk to Yanli
Wen Qing: Between the two of us we could figure out a way to make it look like natural causes

Lan Wangji: Did something in particular prompt this question, or is this just about Jin Guangshan's general… way of being?

Jin Zixuan: Wen Qing please don't implicate my wife in a murder 😳
Jin Zixuan: Lan Wangji, THANK YOU, yes, this is about a specific occurrence
Jin Zixuan: You know the Jin Foundation gala last weekend?

Lan Wangji: I'm familiar. I believe Uncle and Brother attended.

Wen Qing: For the record I'm insulted you think either of us would be sloppy enough to get caught

Jin Zixuan: … I'm choosing to ignore that. Terrifying.
Jin Zixuan: ANYWAY
Jin Zixuan: So yes A-Yao handled basically all of the organization AS USUAL
Jin Zixuan: And since it was for the children's arts program A-Li and I invited some of the ladies from her dance company
Jin Zixuan: But then my dad just

Wen Qing: Claimed all the credit, insulted Meng Yao in front of someone important, and totally leched on your friends?

Jin Zixuan: 😶 That

Lan Wangji: shocked-im-shocked-bogart.gif

Wen Qing: I mean, step one, stop inviting female friends around when he'll be there
Wen Qing: But I'm sure we can come up with something more comprehensive

Lan Wangji: Are you familiar with the missing stair social fallacy?

Wen Qing: it him

Jin Zixuan: I don't think so?

Lan Wangji: It's a phenomenon wherein a toxic person in a social group is such a known entity that everyone adjusts for them unthinkingly.
Lan Wangji: To solve the problem you must first call attention to the missing stair.

Wen Qing: Public shaming?

Lan Wangji: If Jin Guangshan had shame, I would've suggested blackmail, but public something, yes.

Jin Zixuan: You two are way too enthusiastic about doing crimes 😨

Lan Wangji: I've been reliably informed it is a duty that comes with "Be Gay," and I've been remiss.

Wen Qing: And people wonder why you get along with Wei Wuxian…

Jin Zixuan: People USED to wonder that
Jin Zixuan: No one who's seen them together lately wonders that 🙄
Jin Zixuan: But so you want to… let him embarrass himself so publicly it can't be ignored?

Wen Qing: Let.
Wen Qing: Make.
Wen Qing: Something.
Wen Qing: Preferably without embarrassing you or Yanli or Meng Yao obviously

Lan Wangji: It may behoove us to loop Meng Yao in. My impression of your father is that he can be manipulated into an ill-advised course of action if it is presented to him in a suitably attractive way.

Jin Zixuan: Oh god this really is an army

Wen Qing has added Meng Yao to the group

Wen Qing has added Jiang Yanli to the group

Meng Yao: "Wen Qing's Army"? What? Da Ge what are you getting me into?

Jiang Yanli: Ooh, is this the secret in-laws group? 😊🤫

Wen Qing: Not so secret if you know about it, ZIXUAN
Wen Qing: But now it's the "let's go deal with Jin Guangshan" group

Meng Yao: When you say "deal with" … ?

Jin Zixuan: NO MURDER

Jiang Yanli: Are you sure, sweetie? I think between Qing-er and me, we could come up with something that would seem like natural causes

Lan Wangji: I am surrounded by vicious and capable women.

Jiang Yanli: ???

Wen Qing: I said the same thing as you earlier, Yanli 💖

Jin Zixuan: Kinda unnerved at the speed at which the people in my life are turning to crime but ok
Jin Zixuan: thismightaswellhappen.gif
Jin Zixuan: Obviously I love & support you no matter what you do, A-Li 💜

Jiang Yanli: 🥰

Meng Yao: I'm still not 100% sure I understand what's going on
Meng Yao: Why does Father need dealing with, and how does that make us an army?

Wen Qing: We just think it's high time that he be held accountable for his many, many offenses against his family, our community, and humanity as a whole.

Lan Wangji: The Jin Foundation would be better served in hands less prone to wander.

Meng Yao: I'm not saying I'm on board
Meng Yao: But I'm listening

Wen Qing: So here's what I'm thinking…


Jiang Cheng boggled at Jin Guangshan floundering in an ornamental koi pond, a red mark across his face from where he'd been slapped, yelling about how he didn't give a shit about ecological conservation and as the chair of the Jin Foundation he would put this place under in a heartbeat all while the TV cameras were still rolling.

"That's not quite correct, Father," cut in his peacock of a brother-in-law. (And where had HE come from?) "I think you'll find that after the latest Foundation board meeting, you have been relieved of that position."

What?” spluttered Jin Guangshan, fighting against the drag of his very expensive, very traditional, now very wet Tang suit to rise to his feet.

“It seems the board was made aware of some mismanagement of funds that could've threatened their nonprofit status,” Jiang Cheng’s… brother-in-law? step-brother-in-law? half-brother-in-law? Meng Yao said, stepping up to stand next to Jin Zixuan. His usual pleasant smile was fixed to his face, dimples and all, but there was something particularly satisfied in the curl of his mouth. "Something to do with payments intended to ensure the silence of certain women."

Jiang Cheng’s fiancée reached out her left hand palm up and his other brother-in-law, in defiance of everything Jiang Cheng thought he knew about the man, slapped it with his own, eyes still fixed on the debacle unfolding in front of them. The sound Wei Wuxian made was on the higher end of human hearing. “Lan Zhan,” he demanded. “Did you just give Wen Qing five?

Wen Qing had been weirdly insistent about this double date to the Orchid Festival. They didn't go out with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji that often, and he hadn't even realized she liked flowers all that much. When they'd arrived, Jiang Cheng had met Wei Wuxian’s cheerful, but equally perplexed, gaze, shared a shrug, and entered the decorated grounds of the Botanical Garden on their respective partners’ arms.

Now, he looked across the gravel path of the Botanical Garden’s orchid section to where A-Jie was smiling proudly and a little fiercely at her husband and his brother holding an impromptu press conference, looking completely unsurprised. This was— Oh, this must have been planned, somehow. And Wen Qing and Lan Wangji had had something to do with it? Jiang Cheng dug into his pocket for his phone.


Group Chat: Best Sibs

Jiang Cheng: WHAT just happened?

Jiang Yanli: Nothing that wasn't deserved.
Jiang Yanli: It's so nice when family works together, isn't it? 😊

Notes:

We don't know which messaging service the gang is using, but Jiang Yanli and Meng Yao will not be able to scroll up and see evidence of prior crimes previous conversations.

Tang suits: Jin Guangshan’s is obviously very silk and very gold.

The "Missing Stair" is credit to a blogpost by Cliff Pervocracy. Lan Wangji absolutely reads Captain Awkward and came across the term there.


This fic has been converted for free using AOYeet!

Chapter 3

Notes:

Happy birthday to Wei Wuxian! We maintain that if he were Chinese-American, as the characters here are, he would be all over having a Halloween birthday.

 

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Wen Qing’s Army

Lan Wangji: I have a request.

Jin Zixuan: Go for it!

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying's birthday is soon.
Lan Wangji: I have never thrown a party, much less a surprise party, but Wei Ying will not ask for a party himself.
Lan Wangji: helpmeobiwan.gif

Wen Qing: Why Lan Wangji, did you just use a cultural reference from after the invention of color film?
Wen Qing: This *is* your most desperate hour!

Lan Wangji: It's still a classic.
Lan Wangji: But yes, please.

Jin Zixuan: iunderstoodthatreference.gif
Jin Zixuan: And YAY! 🥳🎁🎂

Wen Qing: Okay, so guest list?
Wen Qing: Obviously his siblings.

Jin Zixuan: Obviously *not* yuefu & yuemu

Lan Wangji: Obviously.
Lan Wangji: You two, the Jiangs, Wen Ning, Nie Huaisang, Luo Qingyang, Brother, Nie Mingjue, and Meng Yao would make twelve.

Wen Qing: That's a good number. I assume you don't want too big.

Jin Zixuan: Lucky for you, I actually do have some experience with planning surprise parties 😊
Jin Zixuan: The main two components are a good venue for the real event & a believable distraction for the rest of the day
Jin Zixuan: Because it has to be believable, you're not actually going to pretend that you've forgotten WY's bday on the day of

Lan Zhan: I would not want to hurt Wei Ying like that, even as a ruse.

Jin Zixuan: 🙄 my point exactly

Wen Qing: Please, Zixuan, as if you aren't exactly the same over Yanli

Jin Zixuan: Not. The point.
Jin Zixuan: Anyway! I'm thinking you can get away with a small gift-giving when you first wake up
Jin Zixuan: When he first wakes up I mean 😆
Jin Zixuan: After that you can foist him off on Wen Qing for the day, while you and I head to whatever venue you choose to get it set up
Jin Zixuan: Any thoughts on where to host?

Lan Wangji: I was hoping to impose upon you and your wife, if that is not too much to ask.

Jin Zixuan: Not at all! If I know A-Li, she'll want to cook all his favorites for him anyway

Wen Qing: Ah, those three and their soup.

Lan Wangji: Jiang Yanli has shown me herself how to make the soup, yet my own efforts never rank higher than "almost as good as jiejie's."

Jin Zixuan: I am of course duty bound to confirm that no one's soup is as good as A-Li's

Wen Qing: The boys tried to put that in your wedding vows after the whole Soup Debacle, didn't they?

Jin Zixuan: … maybe.
Jin Zixuan: ANYWAY yes, A-Li says we'd love to host and she thinks this is a very sweet idea

Lan Wangji: Thank you both.
Lan Wangji: What should I tell Wei Ying about why I am leaving him on his birthday?

Jin Zixuan: That you have work to do, which incidentally is going to be true
Jin Zixuan: Because you’re coming over as soon as you say goodbye to him to help get our place party ready

Lan Wangji: I knew I could count on you.
Lan Wangji: 🙇🏻

 


"Surprise!" "Happy birthday!"

Jiang Yanli knew from experience that the first seconds were crucial in catching Wei Wuxian's true reaction to any new event. Thus, she had the distinct pleasure of seeing his mouth fall open, eyes widening as he took in the decorations (a mix of birthday- and Halloween-themed banners and streamers), the table laden with food (all of A-Xian's favorites, prepared with the help of her sous chefs, Zixuan and Lan Wangji), and, most importantly, the people (all of A-Xian's dearest humans in one place) gathered in her — admittedly ostentatiously large — living room.

"Wow, you guys," Wei Wuxian croaked, plastering a smile to his face that did not hide how brightly his eyes shone in the overhead lights. "You really went all out, huh?"

Lan Wangji moved out of the crowd to join Wen Qing and A-Xian at the entrance to the living room. “You did not think we would forget to mark your birthday, did you?”

Wei Wuxian’s face screwed up in that way it did when he was trying very hard not to cry on people. “Well, I knew you didn’t, Lan Zhan,” he managed. "I just didn't expect—"

“Okay, we didn't come here to watch Wei Wuxian cry," Jiang Cheng growled out, steadfastly ignoring the wetness at the corners of his own eyes. "Jiejie made food; everyone go find a seat."

The subsequent rush to the table at the dining room end of the large common area that took up most of Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan’s apartment was enough to gratify any chef. There was some good natured jostling as everyone sorted themselves into their preferred seating arrangement and started to pass around serving dishes. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, as usual, seemed determined to compete for who could compliment her cooking the loudest, and Jiang Yanli caught knowing smiles being exchanged between her husband, Lan Wangji, and Wen Qing. Everyone chatted amiably as they ate, even the Lan brothers, and Jiang Yanli squeezed Zixuan's hand under the table as she took in the warm, lively atmosphere around her table. It was so different from the tense dinners she and her brothers had grown up with, and she was proud to be able to create a space where they could have this with the people they all loved best. She imagined future occasions around tables like this, maybe with little ones of their own one day—one big family, bursting with life and love.

When after dinner Zixuan pointed out the stacks of paper bags, tea lights, and craft supplies on the low table in the living room, it was hard to tell who was more excited, Wei Wuxian or Nie Huaisang.

“Aw, hell yes!” Wei Wuxian crowed as he started sketching outlines on what looked like several bags at once. “Gonna spooky our windows up. Lan Zhan, I know you’re not going to want to leave the candles burning in the kitchen windows all night, but these are gonna be awesome.”

“I have already purchased electric tea lights,” Lan Wangji informed his husband, the corner of his mouth tilted up minutely.

Wei Wuxian made a high-pitched noise not unlike air forcibly escaping a balloon. “You really think of everything, don’t you, Lan Zhan?” he said fondly, once he recovered his composure.

Lan Xichen and Wen Ning insisted on clearing the dinner table for her, so Jiang Yanli directed everyone to the mulled wine and cider that had been warming on the stove and then allowed herself a small break from playing host to join the others at the craft table.

Wen Qing toasted her wordlessly with her mug as she sank down onto a free cushion and Jiang Yanli grinned back as she grabbed a stencil from the pile in the center of the table. Joy bubbled up as it struck her again: their home made people feel comfortable. She could see Wen Ning and Lan Xichen talking quietly as they ferried dishes into the kitchen, while the rest of her friends and family were gathered around the table or on couches—talking, drinking, making lanterns—at home in a space that she had created.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were leaned against each other, Lan Wangji folding his bag and making tiny, precise cuts while A-Xian waved around what was thankfully a hole punch and not a pair of scissors as he described his artistic vision. Mianmian and Nie Mingjue were sitting on the couch behind Jiang Yanli and had pulled A-Cheng into what sounded like a very intense discussion about triathlon training. Meng Yao sat on a cushion between Nie Huaisang and Wen Qing, engrossed in tracing a spiderweb design onto his lantern. Zixuan sat on Nie Huaisang’s other side and refused to let Jiang Yanli see what he was doing when she tried to peek. Lan Xichen and Wen Ning wandered in from the kitchen with their own steaming mugs as well as one each for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji nodded his thanks, and Wei Wuxian tugged Wen Ning down by vis pant leg before shoving a bag and some scissors toward ver. Jiang Yanli took them all in, and the joy and love in her felt so immense that she had to remind herself to breathe. 

After a while, Zixuan proudly presented a lantern featuring a lotus carefully rendered in punched out holes for her approval, before abandoning the craft area to fire up Mario Kart and challenge Meng Yao to a race. Nie Mingjue and Mianmian also called dibs on controllers, and soon the sounds of cartoon engines and victory music joined the pleasant chatter of the room. Their row of completed lanterns was soon joined by several more from the remaining crafters, spooky and cute, simple and complex, all cheerfully glowing out into the dark from the large picture window of her living room.

The noise of the various activities was loud enough that Jiang Yanli almost didn’t hear the musical chimes of their apartment doorbell. Nie Huaisang lifted their head from their fourth lantern, eyebrows raised. “Were you expecting anyone else, Jiang-jie?”

She pointed to the bowl of candy and small toys on the table by the door. "I expect they'll be here for those."

"Trick-or-treaters!" Wei Wuxian shouted, hopping up and bouncing across the room before sliding to a stop by the front door. "Oh, let's see what tiny terrors we have tonight."

He threw the door open with a dramatic gesture. From her seat, Jiang Yanli could just see past him into the hallway outside and to the child in a full-body dinosaur skeleton costume, skull mask and all. Her brother made a high pitched sound that reminded her of when he'd first been learning the flute. “And who might you be?” he asked gleefully.

“Rarr!” roared the child. “Trick or treat!”

"You are definitely a treat, look at you!" He held the bowl out so the tiny t-rex could take their pick of the treats. A few more trick-or-treaters rang throughout the evening, and each was greeted with the same enthusiasm, though none, according to Wei Wuxian, surpassed the dinosaur skeleton in “perfect spooky cuteness.”

Eventually, once the lantern-making petered down, Jiang Yanli met Lan Wangji’s gaze over Wei Wuxian’s head and, at his nod, rose to get the cake out of the fridge. She tapped Zixuan on the shoulder as she passed, and he paused the Mario Kart race and dimmed the living room lights.

“Oh no,” Wei Wuxian began to protest. “Oh no you don’t. This has already been pretty much the perfect evening, I can’t take any more!”

“You can,” Lan Wangji insisted in his quietly sure voice. “Everyone here was promised cake and a chance to sing to you.”

“Oh, well, we can’t let everyone down,” he laughed. “Go ahead then!” Jiang Cheng made his regular joke about Wei Wuxian enjoying being older while it lasted as Jiang Yanli set the cake down on the low table. The lights from the candles cast a warm glow on A-Xian’s face, and his eyes shimmered as everyone took up the familiar tune. It seemed as though every single person chose a different verse to sing in Mandarin or English, turning the whole song into a merry cacophony. The final notes resolved into laughter, and Lan Wangji leaned in to give the birthday boy a kiss on the cheek as he blew out the candles.

“Did you make a wish?” Wen Ning asked.

“I’ve got everything I could wish for right here!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, wiping away tears. Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and called him a sap as he began to cut the cake.

Jiang Yanli was very grateful to A-Cheng for keeping the process of serving out the cake relatively orderly amid the crush of people. She caught Nie Huaisang taking advantage of the distraction the cake provided to press a gift-wrapped package into A-Xian’s hands.

“You can open it later; no need to make a big deal,” they murmured. “Happy birthday, Wei Wuxian.”

Cake was eaten, more wine and cider were drunk, Mianmian was declared the Mario Kart Champion after a few more rounds, and eventually the guests began collecting their lanterns (and presents, in the case of Wei Wuxian) and heading out. Both Lans seemed to be listing a little bit as they made their way to the exit.

Wei Wuxian stood by the door, supporting Lan Wangji with an arm around his waist as he thanked each of the guests for coming. He let go of his husband once, to give Jiang Cheng a quick, fierce hug.

 “Thank you for hosting, Zixuan, Yanli-jie,” said Lan Wangji once he and Wei Wuxian were the only guests remaining; he gave her a little bow before holding his arms out to receive a hug. She gave him a squeeze, then turned to her brother.

“Did Xianxian have a nice surprise?” she asked.

A-Xian’s face crinkled into his biggest, brightest smile, and he scrunched down to fold himself into a hug under her chin. “Xianxian had the best surprise ever!

 


Wei Wuxian has created a group chat: Best Sibs++

Wei Wuxian: 🥺🙈🥺💗💗💗💗💗
Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan said you all helped make yesterday happen
Wei Wuxian: so thank you
Wei Wuxian: even you, peacock
Wei Wuxian: nobody say anything else nice or i will literally die

Jiang Cheng: Surprise, asshole, people actually love you

Wei Wuxian: WHAT DID I JUST SAY
Wei Wuxian: do you want to die a-cheng???
Wei Wuxian: more to the point do you want ME to die????????

Jiang Cheng: thenperish.jpg

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying will not die.

Jiang Yanli: No one will die. A-Xian, we love you very much!! 💕💕

Jin Zixuan: You're welcome! I'm glad to be a part of this family, and I'm happy we could make your birthday special!

Wei Wuxian: WHAT DID I SAY?????? i'd kick you back out if it wouldn't make jiejie cry

Jiang Cheng: Lucky we let you in in the first place...

Jiang Yanli: Boys...

Wen Qing: Happy birthday, you dramatic disaster.

Wei Wuxian: you can stay
Wei Wuxian: you don't even have to marry jiang cheng

Wen Qing: Oh no, I'm gonna 😏

Jiang Cheng: I take it back, you're the worst brother ever and I can't stand you.

Wei Wuxian: no take backs! you looooooooove me!!

Lan Wangji: Mn. We do.

Wei Wuxian: Lan ZHAN 🥰😳👻

Notes:

westiec & theleakypen: hey we should write a group text fic with three characters chatting
westiec & theleakypen, two chapters later: PROSE PARTY SCENE WITH TWELVE CHARACTERS, GREAT PLAN!

The skeleton T-Rex costume is real and can be found here

You may have spotted two characters using nonbinary pronouns in our AU! Nie Huaisang goes by “they/them”, while Wen Ning’s pronouns are “ve/ver!” Example sentences for both can be found here.

IDK if your bilingual family combines the English and [insert-your-home-language here] versions of the Birthday Song when singing it, but theleakypen’s does, and it’s chaos every time.

 


This fic has been converted for free using AOYeet!