Chapter Text
‘I bear it, so they don’t have to.’
At first, it burnt. Every inch of skin, even the bits wrapped under layers of fabric, they caught the flare and scorched everything. Most would call it a miracle that she rose her head from the sand, fingers digging into the burning ground beneath. It was not a miracle.
Clarke was in Hell. Her own personal version of it, based on the fact that she had let her people down one too many times. The list was endless, the amount of people that she couldn’t quite save, the ones that needed her help. Whether it was those from Space, or the Grounders, or the Reapers and the Mountain men and the endless lists of people that had gone up against her, yet Clarke always came out on the other side.
She deserved to burn. She deserved the agony of being the only human on the Earth’s surface, the only one that could ever walk across the sand and not die. It was fate, and it was why she stayed alive. The fabric itched at her burnt skin, blisters over almost every inch of her body. Sand that got into the wounds, that infected her and became fatal, apart from fate drawing her back in one more time.
The Commander of Death, who had nobody left to kill. The others were trapped in a Bunker, or high up in Space, and that left Clarke to see the Demons she had made.
It was Finn, who visited her first. Who watched as she dragged herself through the sand, trying to hold onto her life like it was worth saving. Then it was Lexa, who cradled her burnt hands and whispered apologies, that told her to keep fighting. Maya, who stood there quietly and watched as the radiation affected Clarke, a silent look of understanding that the Commander of Death hated.
Jasper was the one that stood by her side as she rose the gun, pressed it against her temple and waited to pull the trigger. He vanished the moment the bird appeared, as Clarke scrambled up and clung to the last piece of hope.
The Valley was supposed to be a blessing. Fresh water, foods that she could eat. The homes gave her a place to work from, a base that she could begin to craft. She began to plant foods, to clean out the homes and to get them ready for those up in space.
But this was Clarke’s hell, and so not everything could be good. She would sit on the floor of the church, would pick up the radio and stare at it, knowing they could not hear her. Knowing that, no matter how hard she hoped, they would not be able to come down and save her.
**
Raven missed Clarke. She was the one that would have been able to snap them out of their moods, that would have cheered them up despite the fact they were facing five years up in space. She would have complimented Monty’s algae farm, or remarked on how well Echo and Emori’s training was coming along. She’d have convinced Murphy and Bellamy to stop getting on each other’s nerves, would have sat them all down and convinced them they survived so that they could continue onwards.
She had very little to do, other than try to establish a connection with the ground. For the first three months, she worked tirelessly, waiting to see if they could make contact with the Bunker. Every day, Bellamy would come in, needing to know that it had been worth it. That his sister was safe, even if Clarke wasn’t.
After three months, Bellamy stopped asking if she’d managed to get through to them. The grief hadn't faded, least of all from Bellamy, and Raven couldn’t bear to see how sad he had become. How much he missed Clarke, wished he had been able to say goodbye.
Today was no different than any other. Raven sat at her desk, continued to try and rewire the system so it would pick up on weaker signals. It was a job that ended with her fingers usually being burned, or sparks attacking her face. Not that it really mattered anymore, she’d faced far worse than anything this ship could throw at them.
The normal static had become a familiar sound in her room, echoing off the walls and providing her with the knowledge that she still hadn't succeeded. That they might have done all of this for nothing. Not even Harper came into this room anymore, it was a reminder to them all that they were so very far away from all those they had left behind.
She couldn’t keep doing this. Running a hand through her hair, she slumped back into the chair, turned away from the desk and moved towards the window. Down below, the scorched planet remained, proof of what had happened to them since they first landed. She should have been grateful that they were alive, but instead her gut tightened, a feeling that happened whenever she thought of the Bunker.
‘… s’time, a-… Bell…’ For a moment, Raven froze. She looked back over her shoulder, eyeing up the radio and the tiny red light on the side, before the crackling cleared once more.
‘G-n, sun. N’…’ The chair almost didn’t catch her as she lunged, fingers reaching for the dial and her other hand to the screen, ready to pinpoint the location of the signal. A moment later, the dot solidified on the map, just south of where Polis had been.
‘Hello? Can you hear me? Is anybody there?’ Crackling for a moment, before the voice returned.
‘… grass is growing, which is nice. Better than nothing.’ That voice, she’d know it anywhere. Clarke.
‘Clarke! Clarke, can you hear me? It’s Raven!’
‘The sun’s shining today. I think it’s getting warmer.’ Raven didn’t have time to care that Clarke couldn’t hear her, because she was still caught up on the fact that they had a connection to the ground. That Clarke was alive.
‘Harper!’ She called, knowing the girl would be the closest. Sure enough, a few moments later, the door opened.
‘Raven?’ The girl looked from her, to the radio that the mechanic cradled like it would save them all.
‘Get the others. It’s Clarke.’
**
‘I think it’s getting warmer.’ Clarke told the radio, before pausing for a while. Shallow Valley was a beautiful place, compared to the outer regions. The water was pure, didn’t taste of the grainy sand that had been her nutrition before she had found this haven of life. Not many animals had survived, and those that did usually stayed well away from her. The fish were the only things that she could catch successfully, but she felt harsh doing so. They had survived, despite the odds. It was only fair that she gave them the credit they deserved.
‘I hope you’re all doing alright up there, in Space. It must be nicer than here.’ She kicked a loose stone, moving towards the perimeter of the Valley.
‘I suppose I should try and find Polis. It might give me something to do.’ She’d only been here for three months, ninety-eight days, but she’d already mapped out the entirety of the Shallow Valley. From the stream that ran through the centre, to the Village that hosted her. The forest that spread out below, the open meadow that hosted the majority of the living animals. The border regions, scrubland along the rocky patches, before it returned to a barren wasteland.
‘I just… I’m scared. It sounds stupid, considering I’m the only one alive.’ It was stupid. She shouldn’t be so afraid of the sand, but all she could remember was the blazing inferno that she’d left behind. The pain of burning with every step, of her skin bubbling while the fire raged.
‘Maybe alive is the wrong term. I wouldn’t say I’m living. Surviving. Just like the planet.’ Clarke made it to the high-point, stared out across her Valley and then back to the jeep.
‘It’s just sand. There’s nothing to fear out there, not anymore.’ Whether she was trying to comfort herself or the radio, she wasn’t sure. Deep down, she knew the radio was her only link to those in Space, she knew they couldn’t really hear her.
‘I’ll call tomorrow. As always. Stay safe.’ She abandoned the radio, clipped it back to her pack and then looked to the jeep.
It was time to find Polis.