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Dean is not a demon, not anymore. The Winchesters have a way with life, especially their own life; it’s been always played with them dealing with one consequence after another. Their problems used to be hunting down rogue monsters, then came the demon-problem and unsurprisingly it was followed by angel-problem. The Winchesters has been to both heaven and hell, then heaven and hell followed them everywhere they went. Luckily they mastered the act of dealing with both. Though this time it’s a demon-problem but unfortunately the demon in this case is Dean Winchester himself. But as long as Dean’s brother Sam Winchester is alive and kicking, one could rest their soul knowing that Sam Winchester will stop at nothing to get rid of Dean’s demon problem. But of course not without help and that help is always in the form of one rebellious angel, Castiel.
So when Sam finally captured his brother who is a Demon and don’t want to be captured? Things got a little out of hand. But thanks to Castiel, who is known to save the Winchesters, sometimes from themselves or in this case from each other, was there just on time to save both of them. But life can’t be that easy, Dean still carries the Mark of Cain. Castiel maybe juiced up with full of stolen grace, but the Winchesters are still humans and they need to charge up their batteries. Sam decided that he needs a drink, now that he got his brother back. He pretty much told Castiel that one thing at a time is what he is capable of dealing with right now. Let’s not forget that Sam did it all with one injured arm! Castiel knows how THAT happened but its all over now and that’s the most important thing.
Sam went to get Dean some food and he asked Castiel to keep an eye on Dean. Dean hasn’t come out of his room yet. Castiel went to Dean’s room and knocked on his door. Castiel could hear some shuffling noise coming come inside, and then he was granted permission to enter.
Castiel slowly opened the door and stepped inside the room.
“Dean. You… Look horrible” Castiel said squinting at Dean, who is sitting on his bed.
Dean huffed “Thanks, Cas. I feel horrible too but of course thanks for noticing” Dean said getting up from his bed. It’s difficult to relax in the company of a man or in this case an angel, when he is standing so rigidly and unmoving.
“I was worried too, Dean. Or worse, I thought you were dead.” Castiel whispered the last part. Dean looked up at that, surprised.
“What?” Dean asked. “I thought Sam would have told you everything? Because as far as he knows, I just disappeared!” Dean said taking a step towards Castiel.
“It’s Metatron, Dean. He told me you were dead!” Castiel told him remembering how he felt when Metatron told him that he killed Dean. Castiel is not sure he can name the feeling, the urge to cry was so strong, and he almost broke down in front of Metatron. It was another human emotion Castiel felt, but it was overruled by the drive to defeat Metatron.
“Well, I’m not dead!” Dean said bitterly and turned away from Castiel and walked to the other side of his bed. “I just almost killed my own brother” Dean said in a whisper, but Castiel heard it and also the tremble in Dean’s voice.
“But you didn’t, Dean.” Castiel said.
“Yeah, thanks to you!” Dean said turning to look Castiel in the eye, his eyes conveying his genuine gratitude.
“But you wouldn’t have killed him, Dean. If anything, I know that!” Castiel said with wide trusting eyes and a small smile on his face.
Dean was blown away by the complete and utter trust in the eyes of the angel. His angel. At that moment, Dean felt so light, like he was floating and he moved closer to Cas.
Castiel smiled at him, willing Dean to believe in himself.
“How can you believe that?” Dean asked Castiel in a whisper. They are standing really close now; invading each others’ personal space has somehow, somewhere become easy, too common for them.
This time Castiel looked down, shyly looking away from Dean’s too intense eyes. Then he looked again and met Dean’s eyes with determination but the desperate look he found in Dean’s eyes, made his own soften a little bit. Castiel instantly moved a little closer to Dean, the humanity in him compelling his body towards Dean’s.
“Because you are Dean” Castiel whispered looking directly into Dean’s teary eyes.
Dean closed his eyes and one lone tear fell from his left eye. It’s in the reverent way with which Castiel said his name. Like a faithful man calling God’s name. It’s in the absolute belief and faith in his voice. It’s in the tear drop that fell from the angel’s eyes.
Castiel’s finger twitched. Is it to hold Dean or is it just for a touch? Castiel’s didn’t know, didn’t understand, but everything in his being wants to feel Dean. He wants to feel what Dean’s feeling; he wants to cry because Dean’s crying. He just wants. Maybe that’s why he is crying now, even though he didn’t realize he wanted to cry. It’s just another human reaction that he couldn’t help from happening to him. Before he realized his hand is moving.
But Dean is looking down, trying to hide the fact that he is crying. Just then he felt a hand placed over his shirt, right over is beating heart. Dean placed his own hand over Castiel’s, holding his hand and pressing it closer to himself. He breathed deeply, Castiel’s hand felt like his anchor, keeping him from getting carried away by his guilt and mistakes. More tears fell from his eyes and then he felt a hand cupping his cheek. Instantly his other hand pressed Castiel’s palm against his cheek, nuzzling into the touch. This touch is not just a touch of an angel, its Castiel, HIS angel. A touch from his angel that he never knew he needed, now realizing that he wants it, NEEDS it more than he needs air. Not a touch of a brother, not a touch of a father or a mother. A touch that is of the intimate nature, it maybe the common thing a human body craves but its everything he needs right now. Now he realizes what Cas really means to him, maybe he’s known it for some time now. It doesn’t matter. At that moment, Castiel become his salvation. His one true salvation. The one good thing that happened to him.
It‘s his moment of truth.
Castiel. His angel. His savior. His salvation.
Castiel felt light. He felt like he is in own heaven. Comforting Dean, witnessing Dean derive comfort from his touch, witnessing his own need to touch Dean, it’s like experiencing humanity all over again. Experiencing humanity in the most beautiful way possible. Castiel knows that humans refer what he is feeling as ‘Love’. If this is what love feels like, then Castiel wants to love more. He wants to keeping loving and never stop till the day he doesn't exist anymore.
Castiel slowly leaned his forehead over Dean’s and closed his eyes. Castiel leaned closer and crazed his Dean’s wet cheek with his own, the one that he is not holding against his palm. “Dean” Castiel whispered into Dean’s ears.
“Cas” Dean whispered back, bringing his other hand the one that his not holding Castiel’s hand over his heart around his back to press in-between Castiel’s shoulder blades and pulled him closer.
Castiel pulled slightly back but still in a sharing-breath distance and looked into Dean’s closed eyes. “Dean… I-” Castiel started but got cut off when Dean turned his own head and pressed his lips against Castiel’s.
Castiel was not surprised by the touch of Dean’s lips to his; it felt natural. It made him feel connected and closer to Dean. It was real and he didn’t want to move, didn’t want to stop. Castiel want to tell Dean how much he is everything to him. He wants Dean to understand. He just wants to tell the man that he is the owner of Castiel’s whole existence in this universe.
Dean knew, somehow he knew what is going to come out of Cas’s mouth. He just wanted to be the first one to say it and this is how Dean knows how to say ‘it’. This is how Dean Winchester expresses his feeling; it’s always with a touch. He lets his body speak for him and hopes to god that the recipient gets it. Dean knows that there will come a time when he will eventually say the ‘L’ word out loud and will most probably feel weird about it, but Castiel is a weird guy and they can be weird together.
“…” Dean opened his mouth and breathed against Castiel’s mouth.
“Dean, I want to tell you something…” Castiel whispered against Dean’s lips.
“What is it, Cas?” Dean asked and pressed his mouth Cas’s in a chaste kiss.
“I… I want to be with you all the time…” Castiel breathed against Dean’s mouth. He didn’t want to move far away from Dean and break their contact.
“Yeah? But CAN you, Cas? Can you be with me ALL THE TIME?” Dean laughed against Cas’s lips and rubbed his nose against Cas’s nose affectionately.
“You don’t understand, Dean!” Castiel huffed into Dean’s mouth.
“Then, make me understand. My busy little angel” Dean said reminding Castiel of the fact that he always has been and always will be busy with his own angel business.
Castiel closed eyes and breathed in deeply, “Wherever I go, I want to come back to you.” Castiel snaked his hand from Dean’s cheek around his shoulder and took hold of back of Dean’s neck.
“Cas-” Dean started.
“You are the only one for me, Dean. There hasn’t been anything more important than you to me for a long time.” Castiel said pressing his head against Dean’s. Because that is the absolute truth. A truth that makes him feels like crying. Which he did, he started crying without even realizing it.
“I know, Cas. I know.” Dean said nodding frantically against Castiel’s tears. Dean wondered if he is the one who taught Castiel how to cry. If seeing him cry made Cas cry too. Because Castiel is a angel and it’s weird seeing him cry.
Castiel laid his head on Dean’s shoulder and guided Dean’s head to lie on his shoulder. Castiel hugged Dean close to him. Dean closed his eyes and started moving from side to side. Castiel doesn’t know why Dean is moving but it feels good, hugging feels good. Hugging Dean feels good.
His Dean. His human. His everything.
“Dean?” Castiel said.
“Um?” Dean hummed back.
“Sam is in the bunker” Castiel informed Dean.
Dean stopped then and blinked his eyes open. “Good” Dean said and went back to holding Castiel, a little more tightly.
“He has food” Castiel said.
Now that’s something Dean wants to hear. Dean looked up and drew back to look at Castiel. He was met with Castiel’s smiling face.
“Food?” Dean asked.
“Food” Castiel answered with a soft smile on his face.
Both of them walked to the main room and were greeted by Sam who was lining all the items of food he brought, on the table. All of them are Dean’s favorite. Dean stopped and looked at Sam, his younger brother. The only man he will sacrifice his own life for, the man whose life he almost took. Who went against his own morals to bring Dean back. Who wanted his brother back, who in a way needs his brother back. It’s apparent to everyone that one cannot live without the other. Dean realizes now that they need each other to exist, to fight. Dean promised to himself that he will fight to bring himself back. He will find a way to get rid of the Mark of Cain.
They all ate together, Castiel’s presence added the right catalyst between the brothers. Because Dean is too busy eating or he just wants to avoid talking with Sam. Dean still feels guilty for trying to kill Sam. But he knows that Sam won’t let himself be killed by Dean. So there is an awkward silence around the table with Dean eating too loudly and Sam drinking continuously.
Castiel sat quietly too because he knows that the Winchesters will pull themselves together and reconcile at their own pace.
What Dean and Cas doesn’t know is that Sam came to Dean’s rooms to ask him to come eat his dinner. Sam was surprised to see them like that but it put a smile on his face anyway. Sam retired to his room before even Dean finished eating.
Dean slowly rocked into Cas. After dinner both of them came straight to Dean’s room. Castiel could'nt stop touching Dean, even when they were removing their clothes; Castiel kept touching and taking breaks to hug Dean close to him. Now even when they are having sex, Castiel held Dean close to him with both his hands wrapped around Dean’s shoulders.
They did not rush into sex, there was no urgency in their coupling. There was only reverence. Kissing each other, nuzzling to each other and touching each other. Their bodies kept gravitating towards each other. Their bodies craved full body contact all the time. And they loved every minute of it.
Castiel kissed Dean all over the place, wherever he could reach. He kissed him all over his shoulders and all over his face, he couldn’t stop kissing Dean. His whole body craved Dean in every way possible.
Dean is moving slowly, as slowly as he possibly can because he didn’t want it to be over. This is the slowest sex Dean has ever had and he wants to go even slower. Dean didn’t detach himself from Cas. He literally wants to stay like this forever. It’s not just sex, Its Cas.
Castiel’s legs are folded and hanging open on either side of Dean’s hips, moving with Dean’s slow moments. Sex is new to him, the first time he had sex he really enjoyed every minute of it, but his second time? He LOVES every moment of it! Not because its sex, it’s because its sex with DEAN! His Dean.
Dean was huffing against Castiel’s neck with the strain of holding the same position for too long and also for not coming for too long. Thanks to the Mark of Cain, Dean is still able to go on because with a juiced up Cas who has the stamina to last the whole night, he needs his own stamina.
Dean moaned, Castiel will moan too but he is too busy with his mouth attached to Dean’s neck and rubbing his legs on Dean’s hips.
“Cas, wrap your legs around my hips” Dean said.
Castiel moaned and did as Dean told but went back kissing the other side of Dean’s neck.
Dean huffed and laughed under his breath, “Hold on, Cas”. That’s the only warning Castiel got before Dean pulled his cock half out of Cas and thrust in with full force, hitting right on Castiel’s spot which he found a long time ago.
Castiel came up for air then and held Dean close with his hands and legs wrapped around Dean, while he thrust in and out of Cas in a fast rhythm. Dean kept hitting Castiel pleasure spot again and again making him to clench involuntarily around Dean’s cock.
When it was over, Dean fell on top of Castiel and fell asleep right away. Castiel lied awake and spent it kissing Dean’s head. Castiel adjusted their positing so that Dean is still lying on his chest with his arms wrapped around Dean. Good thing Castiel didn’t need to breath. Castiel held Dean in his arms the whole night and there is no other place he would rather be in this universe.