Chapter Text
PART ONE: RUSSIAN ROULETTE
“When you're mortal, life is nothing more than a drawn-out game of Russian Roulette. Every moment is the spin of a gun cylinder, every decision pointing the barrel at your head. Over and over, again and again, you pull the trigger, hoping it won't be your last turn in the game.”
- J.M. Darhower, Reignite
CHAPTER ONE
She often seemed to lose herself in her thoughts when he spoke to her. She was tired in the day and left the house once he was already tucked into bed at night. In the evenings, she would sometimes invite men to the house. He would wonder why, as the very mention of it seemed to leave a melancholy glimmer in her dark eyes.
Goro was sharp for a child who had recently turned seven, much to Emica's dismay.
He had too many inquiries. Too many observations.
It only added to her shame.
She wanted to be a proper mother to him. She didn't want him to pick up on the fact that his very existence was a painful reminder to her. Nor did she want him to realize that he had a whore for a mother.
She was attempting to leave the nightlife, yes, but it was up to her to feed her son and keep a roof over his head. For now, handing out resumes for a part-time position at the local 777 convenience store wasn't paying the bills.
"Goro," her gaze didn't leave her mirror as she called to him, her hand preparing to steadily apply a crimson shade of lipstick to her mouth, "I have a friend coming over tonight, okay? So get your things together, and head over to the bathhouse."
Goro wandered into her bedroom warily, his eyes reflecting disappointment as he squeezed at the Black Falcon Featherman toy that his mother had bought him for his recent birthday.
It killed her when he looked at her like that.
“Can I go to the park instead?”
Emica pressed her lips together, a small sigh escaping them before they flickered into a small smile. "Sure, sweetie. But only if there are other kids, okay?"
Other kids meant that their parents were hopefully with them, too.
Their neighbourhood was, quite frankly, pretty rough.
As horrid as she felt about it, between her customers and the fact that she left him alone at home most nights (in a troubled neighbourhood, no less), Emica had trusted the young child with a pistol to keep with him in his bedroom... just in case. But she'd made it extremely clear that it was for emergencies, and emergencies only.
Although she felt troubled with how aware he was for his age, it was in moments like those that Emica was thankful for Goro's maturity.
“I promise, mommy!” he chirped, rushing over to hug his tiny being around her leg. He craned his neck back so that he could look up at her with dark eyes that possessed a sort of garnet coloured gleam to them whenever the sunlight hit them. Just like hers.
Having applied it, Emica placed her tube of mascara down and redirected her attention to the child that had just wrapped himself around her seated leg. She reached out to him, gently sweeping a hand through his caramel strands.
"Just make sure that you go straight to the bathhouse once the other kids go home. I'll pick you up from there in a bit."
He nodded into her leg before releasing her and made his way back to the doorway. "Thanks, mommy, I will!" He seemed to hesitate, continuing to linger in her room's doorway. "Umm... you look very pretty, mommy."
Again, there was a melancholic undertone in that dark gaze. The way his mouth twitched into a weak smile described all she needed to know.
A chill ran through her, and she attempted to shake such thoughts from her head. She had to be overthinking it. He was probably just disappointed that she couldn't spend more time with him. Even so, she couldn't bring herself to force a smile that was any brighter than her son's.
“Thanks, sweetie.”
- - - - -
The summer heat of July lingered even as the sun glowed orange in its preparation to sink into the horizon and gift the awakening moon with its vast sky.
Bathed in its light, Goro somberly made his way to the local park – hugging a plastic pail to his chest. Inside, he had his bath towel, Black Falcon figure, a juice box, and a bag of animal crackers that his mom had thrown inside in case he got hungry.
The park was only a short way from their apartment complex, as was the bathhouse.
It was a small park meant for the families who lived in the nearby complex. It consisted of a slide, a swing set and a sandbox. Either way, it was kind of like Goro's own little getaway.
He was glad that it was mostly a quiet place for him. Other kids, if any were present in the first place, tended to keep to themselves. They didn't torment him the way some of the kids at school did. He was left to do what he wanted in peace. Sometimes that was flipping through the comic books that he seldomly had trouble reading. Other times, he'd just sit on the swing and lose himself in active thought.
That was why he was moderately surprised as he approached the park, only to be greeted by a kid who was there.
The other boy was seated in the sandbox, seeming entertained solely by the act of running his hands through its contents. At least, until Goro entered his peripheral vision, anyway. His attention snapped to him instantly, and the hands that had been amused by grains of sand now waved at him eagerly.
Goro clasped onto his pail more tensely, as if the tighter he held onto it, the less intimidating the situation would be. Maybe.
He was a bit of a shy kid to begin with, and the fact that he'd never made a single friend hadn't aided him on that front.
Other kids were normally too mean for him to justify a reason for trying. They'd often say cruel things about his mother...
He hated them.
Though, he was too powerless to do much about it. He'd considered hitting one of them during one such confrontation but understood that he'd only be making life more difficult for his mother by doing so. She'd probably be disappointed in him.
So all he could do was cry about it in silence instead.
He wanted to be brave like the heroes in his favourite comic books and TV shows, but it seemed even their courage was a superpower.
"Hi, there!" bright, silver eyes watched him, curiosity dancing in their depths. Goro had never seen such striking eyes before. They kind of scared him. "What's your name? Do you wanna play with me?"
Goro looked him up and down tentatively. Paired with a silver gaze were wavy ebony locks, the contrast bringing to mind a placid, moonlit sky. With the night came calm, though it was followed also by unease and mystery.
Goro didn't know what to make of him.
He seemed friendly enough...
Maybe?
The other boy was wearing a graphic t-shirt with a cat on it, and Goro's mother had once said to him that people who loved and respected animals were usually thoughtful. Goro knew it must be true, considering his mom had promised to get them a pet once they moved into a nicer house. Even though she looked tired a lot of the time, she always tried her best. She radiated nothing but warmth.
She was the most thoughtful of all.
“Umm,” Goro's eyes flickered to his feet, “I like your shirt.”
The dark-haired boy beamed, practically leaping from the sandbox so that he could close the distance between them. He was so close now, Goro could feel his poor, little heart hammering to the point where it might very well explode.
“Thanks! I like yours too! It's Featherman, right? A lot of the kids at school talk about it, but my parents say it's too violent, so they don't let me watch it.”
"Oh..." Goro finally lifted his head to meet the dark-haired boy's face, however briefly. "That's too bad. Featherman's great. Your parents sound kinda mean."
The other boy laughed, “Sometimes!”
While they were on the subject, Goro took a moment to peer around the park. There were no parents in sight. Why was this boy all alone? Usually, the other kids had family or even sitters who would watch over them, even if it was from a distance.
"Where are your mom and dad anyway?" Goro found himself speaking his thoughts aloud, his fingers loosening ever so slightly from where they gripped onto his plastic pail. "Doesn't your mom get worried when you're alone?"
The dark-haired boy shook his head, "Nah. I don't have a mom."
Oh.
Maybe this boy was a lot like him?
“I've got two dads,” he continued, and Goro couldn't help but gawk. Two dads!? Goro didn't even have one dad! How cool would it be to have two!? "But why's it matter? Your parents aren't here either!"
Goro nodded, smiling timidly, “...True.”
For the first time in his short life, it truly felt like he'd found another kid that was on a similar wavelength as him. It was a strange thought considering he'd only just met the boy, but somehow... Goro felt like they were maybe similar.
He felt drawn to him.
This boy didn't hassle him. He didn't speak ill of his mother despite her absence, like the other kids at school tended to do. But just because his mom wasn't always able to drop him off or pick him up from school, as their parents did, that didn't make Goro's mom irresponsible. He understood that she was always trying her very best...
Something was invigorating about the shortage in judgment that came from this boy. Heck, maybe he even understood those same feelings.
“I'm Goro, by the way.”
The dark-haired boy brightly followed him up, zero reluctance, "Ren!"
“Ren-kun...” he tested the name on his tongue, his stomach twisting with excitement at the thought of having made a friend. “D-do you want to play with me?”
Ren's reply was an eager nod of the head before he stole one of the hands that Goro used to hold his water pail. He pulled him towards the sandbox. It'd caught him by surprise at first, but the glee that consumed his entire being right then allowed him to recover quickly as he awkwardly followed the hand that boldly guided him.
He left his pail on the ground outside of the sandbox, only removing his Featherman action figure from within before following Ren inside. He hadn't noticed before, but it seemed Ren had a companion of sorts too. A small, plush cat lay in the sand. Its body was white, the only patches of colour on either side of its head. One patch was black, and the other ginger. A scarlet collar adorned its neck, a tiny golden bell attached to the front of it.
Ren noticed Goro checking it out, so swiftly snatched it up. He held it out to Goro, allowing him a closer look. "This is Hime-chan! Isn't she cute? She's my favourite."
“She's really cute,” Goro agreed, “Do you have any other pets?”
"Like a real one?" Ren hugged Hime-chan to his chest even though she was covered in sand. His nose scrunched up a bit, hinting at the disappointment in his answer. "No... One of my dad's is allergic. It sucks. Like, what if I was allergic to him? I bet he'd still get to stay in the house. It's not fair...”
Goro giggled, plopping down into the sand, "You guys must have so much fun together." He couldn't comprehend what it must have been like having two parents. He understood his mother's predicament as much as a seven-year-old could, but having a second parent around for when the other was absent was still a pleasant thought. Sometimes he felt pretty lonely, as much as he'd never admit such aloud...
“For sure,” Ren answered as the two began to play together in the sand, “I like helping my dad with his flower garden. It's a lot of fun! And my other dad let me sit on his motorcycle once! It was so cool!”
"I'd like to see your flowers!" Goro wondered if it was maybe too presumptuous of him to invite himself over to somebody else's home, but he was so delighted to be spending time with another kid that he couldn't possibly contain himself. "Do you live around here?"
Ren didn't appear at all familiar. Goro was fairly certain he'd never seen him before... Yet despite that, it felt as if maybe they'd always been friends.
Ren, who'd been playfully smothering Goro with Hime-chan's affections, suddenly frowned. Hime-chan froze in midair before he slowly wrapped her up tightly in his arms.
"...I don't live in Tokyo. We're just visiting my Auntie Maya." He hesitated, burying his face into Hime-chan. "Sorry... My home is pretty far away. It's in Kyoto." He tried to smile. "It's very different here."
Goro would be lying if he said that he wasn't sad or disappointed.
Regardless of where he lived though, Ren would always be his first friend. Nothing, not even distance, could steal that away from him. Even if it was eventually just a memory, it was better then his life before their chance encounter.
He reached out with the hand that lacked his Featherman figurine, patting the top of Ren's head as the darker haired boy continued to squeeze Hime-chan to his chest. Goro opened his mouth to comfort him, but that wasn't what made Ren raise his head suddenly.
He perked straight up, the blaring call of his name travelling from the main streets, into the quieter backstreets, past the cluster of nearby apartments, all the way to the tiny park itself.
"REN!!!" The voice held a deep tone tinged with both concern and impatience.
Ren's eyes lit up with alarm.
“Ren!!” A female voice that time. It sounded a bit panicky.
“Oh no...”
Ren stood slowly, and Goro watched him, a bit unsure. “Your family?”
Ren swallowed thickly, “...Yeah.”
Goro could only continue to search Ren's face as the other took a deep breath. Begrudgingly, he called out to the group that was looking for him.
What had he done? Did they not know that he'd come to the park to play? Was he in trouble?
Ren waved down the group, Goro realized, of three adults.
Three very unhappy looking adults...
One such adult was a woman with long, dark hair who's lips were coloured with deep red lipstick. Goro noticed her troubled expression soften as she neared them.
The second was a man whose wine-red strands were pulled back into a ponytail. There was an intense crinkle in his brow and his mouth was pressed into a tight, angry line.
Lastly, the third was another man. His hair was as ebony as Ren's, his dark bangs swept to the side. Tears stained his cheeks, though once his gaze met Ren's, those distressed eyes flashed with fury.
"Ren!! How could you run off like that!?" the dark-haired man began once they'd made it over to the park. Tear tracks marked his face, and his eyes warned that he was on the verge of tears yet again as he continued to speak in an elevated tone. Ren could only rub at his arm awkwardly, staring at the ground. Goro rose to stand beside him, taking hold of the hand that fidgeted with his forearm. "Do you have any idea how worried we were about you!!? The city isn't like back home, Ren!! It's huge!! And there are so many people!!! Anything could've happened to you, and-"
The serious-looking man placed a hand around the other's waist, rubbing at his lower back as he murmured in a smooth, calm voice, "Ren's fine now, Jun. We found him. Everything's fine."
"But Tacchi-" he cut himself off, crossing his arms over his chest tightly. Despite that, he seemed to give in to his partner's comfort instead.
“I'm sorry...” Ren spoke in a tiny voice, and Goro could only think to squeeze his hand to hopefully keep him from crying. “I... got bored. I didn't want to shop anymore. I wanted to play...”
“But that doesn't mean you can just run off without saying anything!”
Tacchi(?) nodded in agreement. “Your dad's right, Ren. You can't keep doing whatever you want all the time. This is getting ridiculous.”
The woman with the long hair finally interjected, squatting in front of the two young children so that she could bring herself to their eye-level. "Aww, c'mon, Tatsuya. Don't be so harsh. Ren's just an adventurous spirit, aren't you, Ren? I think it's good for a kid to be curious! You'll learn a lot more that way."
"Right, positive thinking..." Jun's mouth finally flickered into what could be considered a modest smile. "But even adventurers have to tell their parents where they're going beforehand, okay?"
Ren nodded wordlessly.
“So,” the woman beamed, violet eyes flickering to Goro. “Who's your friend?”
Ren finally lifted his head uncertainly, spinning around to glance at him. He gave Goro a tiny smile as if coaxing him to answer.
“G-Goro.”
Having so many eyes on him revived his nerves.
"Goro-chan, huh? Cute name!" she only appeared to become brighter somehow, "I'm Maya! This is Jun, and that's Tatsuya! They're Ren's parents. I'm his Aunt."
“Is he all alone?” Though it'd been a murmur, Tatsuya's concern didn't go unnoticed.
Ren silently shifted his gaze between the three adults before asking both innocently and with utmost seriousness, "Can we just bring him with us? I want to take him to Kyoto!"
Jun shook his head as Tatsuya smirked beside him, quietly chuckling something about “kidnapping” and “jail.” An “adult” joke, maybe.
“Goro-chan has his own family, Ren,” Jun redirected his attention to Goro, kneeling next to where Maya continued to squat just in front of them. He searched Goro's timid features with a warm gaze. “Where is your family? Do you want us to stay with you until they come back?”
Jun could only pray that Ren hadn't plucked him from someplace during his antics, influencing the other child to scatter from his parents the way he'd done to them...
Goro shook his head back and forth a little too swiftly. He wasn't allowed to go back inside the house until his mom's friend had already left, and she came to retrieve him herself. Those were the rules.
Besides, she'd told him to meet her at the bathhouse.
“My mom knows where I am,” he insisted, “You don't have to worry about me!”
Jun frowned, “But-”
“How about we take you home!?” Maya turned to Jun.
Tatsuya nodded, standing behind them somewhat aloofly. “Yeah, it's not good for him to stay here all by himself.”
“If we took him to Kyoto, he wouldn't be by himself!” Ren argued.
“Thanks, Ren-kun,” Goro gave his hand another gentle squeeze, “But I can't leave my mommy. I hate making her sad.”
Ren pressed his lips together in a pout, and Goro wondered if he was angry with him. But his features were quick to relax, and Ren instead released Goro's hand so that he could use both hands to hold Hime-chan out towards him.
“Fine. Then I want you to take care of Hime-chan for me,” he spoke rather tenderly for a kid who'd looked like he was about to throw a fit a second ago.
“But-” Goro's eyebrows knitted together, his scarlet stare fluttering from Hime-chan and then to Ren's thoughtful smile. “You said she's your favourite...”
Ren nodded. “That's why I want you to have her. That way, you'll never forget me. You'll remember me when we meet each other again.”
Goro wasn't sure why, but there was something about Ren's words – the way Ren was so utterly convinced that they'd meet again... Somehow, that thought felt... right.
A chill ran through him.
Then, he suddenly realized that he should do the same! He needed to give Ren something of his, too.
However, it seemed Ren had seen right through him as Goro reached for the Black Falcon toy that sat directly below him in the sand.
“I don't want it,” he cut Goro off before he could even wrap his fingers around it. “I think he'd be pretty sad to be with me when I'm not even allowed to watch his show.”
“But I... I don't want you to forget me, either...”
“I won't!” Ren assured him, “But if you really wanna, just think of something else to give me. You can give it to me when we see each other again!”
Goro wasn't completely satisfied at that, and he still felt a wave of guilt wash over him upon gently taking Hime-chan from Ren's outstretched arms. At the same time, he couldn't keep from cuddling her to his chest.
Hime-chan now in hand, Goro lied to the adults that his mom was waiting for him at the local bathhouse. When they offered to walk him there, he refused yet again – insisting that it was just around the corner and he better hurry.
With a final glance, Goro placed Hime-chan into his plastic water pail and lifted it from the ground. He said one more goodbye to Ren, feeling oddly bright for someone who was just about to be separated from his first and only friend. But somehow, Ren's words rung true in his heart.
Goro knew nothing of fate by that point, but he almost felt certain that somewhere down the road, he and Ren would inevitably cross paths yet again.
He needed them to.