Chapter Text
Edited: 7/13/2020
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For more than a century, humanity has lived comfortably within the three walls. There has been plenty of food, plenty of space, and most importantly, security. Within these walls, humanity is safe. Thanks to these walls, no titan will ever get their hands on civilian life. They are strong, but the walls are stronger. My parents and I live within Wall Sheena in the Ehrmich District. We aren’t the wealthiest, but we live better than the average person. My father owns some taverns throughout the walls. One in every district. While my father could afford to live in the innermost city, he felt that living in Ehrmich would give us more sense of normalcy.
My mother grew up in Shiganshina where she worked as a waitress in my father’s tavern. She worked alongside her long time best friend, the now Carla Jaeger. We often visit Carla and her family on the holidays, and for my yearly checkups with Doctor Grisha Jaeger. He had helped many of the town's people when the plague struck, and now he is our trusted family doctor. It would be easier for him to come to us, but my mom uses it as an excuse to see her friend. My parents were married after my mother recovered as she and my father feared she was going to die before marrying. They then had me, [Y/N] [L/N]. These walls protect me and my family.
I felt something gently shake my shoulder, gradually bringing me out of my sleep. I blinked a couple of times and rubbed my eyes, trying to get the blurriness to go away. My room was still dark as I looked around. I saw a figure looming over me; it frightened me at first but then I realized that it was my mother.
“Wake up dear, we have to take a road trip,” she whispered as she petted my hair down. “We are going to Shiganshina today,” She stood up and started making her way around my room to help get me dressed.
“Are we going to see Dr.Jaeger?” I yawned as I removed my blanket. I sat up and threw my legs over to the edge of my bed, scratching my head.
“Yes dear, but we are also going to spend the day there so make sure you take your comfy shoes. That way you can play with Eren, Armin, and Mikasa,” She explains. My mother starts shuffling around my room. She lights the candle on my vanity and begins to look through my closet for a comfortable dress. “You have so many dresses, [Y/N]. Do you want to give one to Mikasa?”
I nod my head vigorously and beam, “Yes! I want to give her the black and gold one. I think it’ll look very pretty with her scarf.”
My mother nods as she takes out the requested dress and light blue, short sleeve dress. It had a soft, white ribbon around the waist. The skirt was flat, but if you spun around it would fan out quite nicely. “Come here, let’s get you dressed,” she beckons. My mother helped me change into the dress and handed me a soft pink cardigan, “It is going to be a little chilly and I don’t want you to get sick.”
Once I changed my clothes, my mom sits me down at my vanity and combs out my [h/l] [h/c], and braids it. I love it when my mother braids my hair. She is always so gentle and caring. I watch my mother in the mirror, who stands behind me. Her long [H/C] hair falls effortlessly down her back in soft waves. Her front fringes are tied back with a golden ribbon. Her gentle green eyes are focused on my hair that rests in her delicate hands. My mother exudes grace and beauty. She never raises her voice, but she is in no way meek. She respects everyone around her and expects to be treated the same. She does not let others disrespect her or her family, and she will raise hell all while portraying the grace of an angel. I strive to be exactly like my mother. She removes the ribbon from her hair and ties it at the bottom of my hair. “I am giving you this ribbon, so take care of it. It’s my favorite one,” she softly kisses the top of my head. My [e/c] eyes sparkle as I nod.
“Thank you, mom. I will.”
We exited my room and finally went down to our carriage. Conrad, our carriage driver, opened the door for us and helped us in. My mother motioned me to rest on her lap, “Rest [Y/N]. We have a long ride ahead of us. Little girls like you need all the energy so you can play later on.” I rest my head on her lap as I look out the window and at the stars. It has to be at least 4 a.m considering how there are still stars. The sun will begin to come up in two hours, and in 9 hours we will be in Shiganshina. I closed my eyes, as I know I will use my energy to play with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin when we get there. Almost immediately, sleep washed over me as 4 a.m is never kind towards children.
I was woken up again by my mother gently shaking my shoulder. I yawn and rub my eyes as I push myself up. I glance out the window and see the sun is already shining brightly, but I also see buildings and I can hear the chatter of passing people. “Are we here?” I sit up and begin looking out the window.
“Not yet dear. We are in Trost right now. We're going to stop really quick so we can buy some breakfast, okay?” We continued on a little more before stopping at a shop. My mother went in to buy us food while Conrad stayed by the carriage with me.
“Conrad, how old are you?” I question as I peer down at the boy. I sit on his bench while he tends to our two horses. He lets me sit on his bench so he could keep a better eye on me.
“I’m 16 years old, miss,” He smiles at me while he gives the horses some water and hay.
“Wow, you could be in the Military police!” My [e/c] eyes sparkle in awe. He thought a little as he leaned against the carriage by me.
“I don’t know, miss. I think I’d rather be in the Scout Regiment. But I always tell my little brother that he needs to join the military police. That way he can serve the king and live comfortably,” He declares as he fixes the bandages that covered his blisters.
“I didn’t know you had a brother! What’s his name?”
“Hm? Oh, Marco,” he runs a hand through his shoulder-length black hair, “He is probably around your age, miss. We live not too far from Trost, though I don’t think you’ll ever meet him. He’s a great kid though. I think the two of you would be great friends if you ever did meet.” He laughs a little as a fond look settles in his dark brown eyes. “He is such a kind kid. I don’t think he could ever hurt a fly.”
“He sounds amazing! I hope I do get to meet him one day!” I feel excited at the prospect of one day making a new friend. If he's anything like Conrad, then he must be very sweet and helpful. Conrad is all sorts of great. He helps my father with deliveries and drives me and mom around. If he is making a quick delivery, he will sometimes bring me along and let me sit with him on the driver’s bench! He has such a pretty smile and he’s very easy to talk to. I like to ask him all sorts of questions. Sometimes, on our way to Shiganshina, he tells me stories about a princess that could control titans, and instead of killing people, they help them. I don’t think it’s true, but it is nonetheless interesting. One day, I will marry Conrad, and if not him, then someone like him.
“I hope so too,” he beams up at me then laughs, “ He needs more friends anyways.”
My mother finally comes out with a bag of pastries and fruit. “Alright, I am back. Conrad, here you go,” She gives some to Conrad, who is very touched. “Ma’am, thank you so much. You really didn’t need to. I could have gotten myself something in Shiganshina,” he reassures her as he attempts to give it back.
“Nonsense, Conrad. You are practically my son, so eat, You are still a growing boy, and you need all the strength you can get,” she insisted. Conrad sets the food on his bench, opens the carriage door, and helps my mother and me inside. Once comfortable, my mother then hands me some fruits and pastries and soon we begin our travels once more.
After 4 slow hours, We finally arrived in Shiganshina. I had made my way out of the carriage due to my inability to stay seated in one spot for too long and seated beside Conrad. I excitedly turned my head around to watch the passing people and to see the familiar buildings. “We’re here, Conrad!” I bubbled as I looked up at him with shining eyes.
“Indeed we are, little miss,” he chuckled as he pats my head. We turn the corner and continue down the road to the Jaeger Household. I buzz in my seat with excitement. I get to see my friends again, my mom will be with her best friends. It will be a great time! We stopped in front of the Jaeger house, and I couldn’t wait any longer. As soon as we stop, I jump over Conrad. He leans back in surprise and grabs onto his hat. I bound up the stairs of the house and stare at the door with bright eyes and a giant smile.
“[Y/N], Please wait. We need to get Conrad situated first,” my mother says as she exits the carriage. “Conrad, can you please get the bag in the back?”
“Certainly, ma’am,” he acknowledged as he got down to retrieve the bag. My mother walks ever so elegantly up the stairs. Once at my side, she lightly knocks. It wasn't long till the door promptly opens to reveal a beautiful woman with warm eyes and beautiful black hair.
“[M/N]! You’re here!” Carla gives my mother a tight hug as she laughs a little.
“Ah Carla, It’s been too long,” my mother squeezes her back, “How are the children?”
“Oh, you know. Eren gets into trouble and rarely ever listens, and Mikasa gets him out. Speaking of which,” Carla turns her attention to me and smiles warmly, “Hello, [Y/N]. Eren and Mikasa are out collecting firewood right now. Grisha is inside though, so you can get started on your checkup. I am sure when you’re done, they will be back.”
“Okay, Thank you, Mrs. Jaeger.” I ran inside to find Grisha Jaeger sitting in the kitchen reading a book. I overhear her telling Conrad that there are stables close to the entry gate, but I just approach Dr. Jaeger instead. “Hello, Dr. Jaeger! I am here for my checkup!” I announced as I stood in front of him.
He looks up and smiles at me, “Ah, if it isn’t my favorite patient. Shall we get started on your checkup?” I nodded as he got up and grabbed his medical bag. The checkup didn’t last too long and consisted of standard things, like checking my blood pressure and listening to my heart. My mother and Mrs. Jaeger were in the kitchen, quietly chatting as Dr. Jaeger checked my back for any signs of Scoliosis. The check-up lasted a total of 45 minutes as today he gave me my vaccine. As soon as the check-up was done, loud bells could be heard clanging in the distance. I looked around uneasily as I haven’t been accustomed to the bells here. I look at my mother and Mrs. Jaeger with a worried look. “Mrs. Jaeger, what do those bells mean?” I questioned.
Mrs. Jaeger sighed, “Those are the bells to signal the return of the Scout Regiment. They must have returned from their expedition.” She stood up from her chair and walked to the cupboards and began to look through them, “Would you like a snack, [Y/N]? I’m sure that the long trip made you hungry.”
“Yes please!” I beamed as I sat down at the table. Carla and my mother were talking as Grisha continued to read his book and while Carla was preparing my snack. She set a plate down in front of me with crackers with jelly spread out on top of it. I happily ate, not paying attention to the topic of conversation. I would occasionally hear Eren and Mikasa’s names, occasionally mine and Armin’s name. When I finished, Carla picked up my plate and put it in the sink where she then started to wash the dishes, not once stopping the conversation with my mom.
Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Eren and Mikasa. “We’re home!” Eren announced as he adjusted the straps on his shoulders.
“Welcome back,” Grisha looked up from his book and turned his head. “Don’t forget to greet our guests.” Eren’s eyes lit up when he saw me and Mikasa smiled a tad bit as well.
“[Y/N]!” Eren greets me happily as he hugs me. Mikasa came forward and hugged me as well.
“Hello, Mrs. [L/N],” Eren and Mikasa called out. Eren took off the bundle from his back and set it on the floor. Mikasa was beginning to put them away, so I got up from my chair and went over to Mikasa.
“Hello, you two,” my mother laughs, “I hope you weren’t out causing trouble.”
Eren huffs a little, “We don’t always get into trouble.” My mother gives him a knowing look as he flushes a bit.
“Let me help, Mikasa,” I grabbed the bundle that Eren had set down and began to help.
Carla looked at Eren and Mikasa with an unimpressed look, “ You two are late. It’s not very kind to have your guest waiting for so long. You both are lucky that [Y/N] needed to get a check-up first.”
“Yeah… well…” Eren thought as he went over and stood by his dad, “Some stuff happened.” Mikasa and I finished putting away the wood and went over to the table.
“Oh! Mikasa, I brought a dress for you! I thought it would look very pretty with your scarf!” I smiled at her with excited eyes, as I continued to describe the dress for her. My mother chuckled as she watched the scene before her. “Mom, the dress is in the bag right?” I questioned as I went to our bag, looking for the dress.
She hummed, “Kids these days… getting distracted so easily.” Grisha chuckled at her comment as he began to pack up his bag.
Eren noticed his dad packed up and looked a bit deflated, “Huh? Dad, you’re going out now?”
“Yeah, I have to go see a patient two towns up. Since I already finished [Y/N]’s checkup, I don’t have any more appointments here.”
“Eren said…” Everyone turned their attention to Mikasa, “... He wants to join the Survey Corps.” She looked down a bit worryingly. My mother gasps out loud, covering her mouth with her hand. I stood up from my crouched position, mouth gaping open. My own friend… wants to join the most suicidal branch of the military? What for when the walls are there to protect us? I looked over at Carla, who looked as though someone just died in front of her.
Eren looked visibly betrayed as he spluttered, “ M-Mikasa!! I told you not to tell anyone!”
Carla abandoned the dishes as she grabbed both of Eren’s arms. She yells desperately, “Eren!! What are you thinking?! Do you know how many people have died trying to fight those monsters?!” She desperately searches his face for some sign that this was a joke or that he changed his mind, but… she never found it.
Eren visibly sweats as he tries to defend himself, “Y-yes, I know!” I look over at Grisha, he has to be upset at the idea of his son joining the Survey Corps. I was more surprised to see him contemplating the idea.
“Eren… Why do you want to go outside?” Grisha inquired as he leaned closer to Eren.
Eren’s face flushed a little as he defended himself, “I hate the idea of spending my whole life inside the wall, not knowing what it’s like outside!” We were all shocked at his reasoning, but we were more thrown off when his face morphed into determination and anger. “And besides… If there’s no one to continue fighting, then everyone who has died up till now died in vain!” Grisha stared at Eren, who seemed unmoving from his argument. I couldn’t help but feel helpless. I can’t change Eren’s mind when he’s already set his mind to something.
“I see… Well. I better be going,” Grisha stood up and grabbed his medical bag.
Carla, in the last attempt, calls out, “Wait, Honey! Please, talk some sense into your son!”
“Carla… It doesn’t matter what anyone says. There is no holding back our son. He’s too inquisitive.” Eren stood there in stupefaction. Grisha turned away, “Eren when I get back, I’ll show you what’s in the basement…that I’ve been keeping a secret.”
Eren’s eyes glistened in wonder, “R-Really?!”
We all walked out to watch Grisha off. Carla looks down at Eren, visibly annoyed. “Eren. I won't let you do anything as stupid as joining the Survey Corps,” She looks at my mother in hopes she backs her up. I look up at my mother, hoping she does say something.
“Stupid?!” Eren looked thoroughly insulted, and looked at me and Mikasa, hoping we’d side with him.
My mother sighs, “Your mother is right, Eren. This whole idea is foolish.”
Eren, unable to listen anymore, runs down the stairs, “The way I see it, people who are satisfied living like caged birds are the real fools!! I try to make my own decisions but you just shut me down! I hate you!” Before we could stop him, he ran off, far from us.
Carla crouches down to Mikasa and I’s level, “Mikasa, that boy is stubborn, so protect him if he gets into trouble.”
“I will,” Mikasa nods in determination.
“[Y/N], I truly believe you are the only one that he will listen to, so please try to guide him,” she begs me with pleading eyes.
“Yes, ma’am!” I nod as well. With that, we both run after Eren to make sure he doesn’t get himself in a compromising position. Before I got too far, I turned around and called out to my mother, “I’ll be back mom! I love you!” I then ran after Mikasa once more.
We ran through town, looking for Eren when Mikasa stopped. I always joked with Armin that Mikasa had a sixth sense where she could feel when Eren was going to do something stupid. She turned her head towards an alley and started sprinting down. “Wah! Mikasa! Wait for me! I can’t run that fast!” I attempted to chase her, Now only trying to figure out where she went. I am still not too familiar with Shiganshina’s alleyways, so I try my best not to get lost.
I ran down the road, stopping at a different alley, and saw Eren and Mikasa chase off some guys with Armin on the ground looking beat up. My heart clenches at the sight of my hurt friend and I run over to them. “Armin! Are you hurt?” He shook his head as he brought his arm up to wipe his nose. I crouched down beside him and grabbed his arm to stop him. I took out my handkerchief and wiped his nose. He tried to turn his head away but I grabbed the other side of his face to turn it back.
“Are you okay, Armin?” Eren extended his hand out to Armin who just looked down.
“Y-Yeah… I’m fine,” He forces himself up, relying on the wall behind him. I stood up as well, watching him carefully.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up Armin… Your face is all dirty,” I give him my handkerchief and I tug his sleeve to leave the alleyway.
We started to walk towards the river when Mikasa decided to integrate Armin, “So why were those guys giving you such a hard time?”
Armin sniffs as he sits down in the grass, watching the river in front of him. I sat down on one side of him and Eren and Mikasa sat on the other side of him. “When I said the human race should… eventually, go to the outside world, he punched me and called me a Heretic,” he says softly. I looked at him sadly.
Eren threw a rock into the river and commented, seeming very annoyed, “Damn it… Why does everyone shut down the people that want to go outside?”
I nuzzled closer to my knees. “Well,” I began, “It’s because we’ve lived in these walls peacefully for 100 years now.”
Armin nods, seemingly understanding my thoughts. He continues, “People are afraid that if we go out carelessly, they could get in. It’s taboo even having an interest in going to the outside world, according to the royal government policy.”
“So in other words,” Eren grimaces, “The King is a coward! It’s OUR LIVES!! We can however we want, right?”
“Absolutely not!” Mikasa said suddenly, glaring at Eren. We all look at her, taken aback by her sudden outburst.
“That reminds me!” Eren glared back at Mikasa, “Thanks a lot for ratting me out to mom, dad, and Mrs. [L/N]!!”
“I don’t remember agreeing to keep it a secret,” She huffs.
“Both of you! Stop acting so childishly!” I reprimand both of them, causing both to look away annoyed.
“So how’d they take it?” Armin questioned while glancing over.
Eren sighs, “They weren’t too happy.”
“Naturally…” I said under my breath.
“What the hell, [Y/N]?! You’re supposed to be on my side!”
“How am I supposed to when we’re safe within the walls?!”
Armin looks at me, rebutting my argument, “Just because the walls haven’t been breached in 100 years, doesn’t mean they won’t break through it today, for example.”
Just as I was about to comment on how that was impossible, the ground shook so violently that it caused Armin to fall into me, and me down to the ground. We looked around, confused, and scared.
“Wha-What was that?!” I tremble a little, allowing Armin to help me up.
“An earthquake?” Eren tried to reason, but we all knew that it was too large to have been natural. We see people pointing at something down the street, staring. “Let’s check out what’s going on.” The trembles continued as we ran through the streets. Armin grabbed my wrist to drag to the crowd of people. Armin turns his head to the wall and suddenly stops. I looked towards the wall as well, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I heard Eren call out to us, but I just couldn’t bring myself to answer. We all stood there, staring at the smoke that was rising on the other side of the wall.
Suddenly, a hand grabs the top of the wall. Thumping coursed through the ground, and my first reaction is to grab Armin’s arm. I could hear people screaming in the distance. “Th-That wall is 50 meters high…” Armin trembles. An enormous head begins to emerge over the wall, staring down at us. It’s grin forever ingraining itself in my memories. The screaming of others never stopped. I wanted to run but I couldn’t move my feet. I was stricken with fear. All my life, I felt as though the titans would never hurt us again, but suddenly that naive mentally shattered.
A horrible screeching rang through the tow, causing all of us to cover our ears. But when I looked, I saw stones fly through the air, striking down homes and crushing people. Wait… stones? Suddenly, that monster ducked under the wall and was gone, but all it left was a hole in the wall. It couldn’t believe my eyes. All my life, I thought I was safe in Wall Sheena, but if it could break through wall Maria, then it could definitely bring down Rose and Sheena too.
“I-It.. made a hole in the wall,” Eren’s voice quivered. As the situation began to settle on everyone, they all began to run and scream in absolute terror.
“Guys, run!” Armin yelled as he began to run away, “We have to get out of here before the Titans get in!”
We all started to run, but we all stopped when Eren started to run towards the wall.
“Eren!!” I screamed after him.
“The pieces of the wall fell near the houses! Our moms are at home!” Suddenly, everything came crashing down around me. My mom. She is still at the Jaeger house. She could need my help!
I tried to run after Mikasa and Eren, but the hand that was around my wrist stopped me. I looked behind me and my heart broke when I looked at Armin. “It’s… too late. This town will be overrun by titans!!”
“I need to help them, Armin! My mom might die!”
“Please, [Y/N]! I can’t watch you run to your death, too! I don’t want to be alone!” Armin yelled as he broke down to tears. I felt my own eyes build up in tears. He’s right. If I ran, I could die. Then he would really be alone. I have to trust that my mom would be okay.
“Come on then! The longer we stand around the sooner we’d be chased!” I grabbed his hand and started running for entrance, and hopefully to the boats. Since Conard was by the entrance hopefully he got out.
But… What if he came looking for me? Armin began to wail as he held onto my hand tightly. We dodged the crowd of people, weaving through them. It was horrifying to see the citizens with their legs or heads crushed under the wall pieces. There was just so much blood. I started to slow down, causing Armin to almost run into me.
He kept trying to tug my arm forwards, “[Y/n]! We need to keep moving or else the Titans will kill us!!”
“But… But what if Conrad had gone looking for us,” my eyes welled in tears. I grabbed his shoulders with an iron grip before screaming in his face, “We’re ALL going to die Armin!!” I shook him hard before pointing at the already dead bodies. “We’re just going to keep being like them if we run!”
“And we won’t find out if we don’t get out of here! Conrad is smart, he’d know to run while he still had working legs!” He cried back, trying to pull me along. “We can’t be naive!”
I pushed him away. Hard. “I need to find him, Armin! I need to! Run while you can! I promise I won’t be far behind! Just let me look!!” I had tears streaming down my face as I tried to hold any bit of sanity I could. I wiped my face with my dirty hands, trying to look strong.
Armin sucked in a shaky breath before sniffling, “Alright fine… But You have to promise that you will keep heading to the boats!” He stuck out his pinky, which I quickly linked. He turned and ran as fast as he could. I looked at the panicky face before calling, “CONRAD!” I started running and shouting for him.