Chapter Text
Going to Gaia Prime was the beginning of the last step she had to take to learn more about herself. About her life. Her past. And it was not easy, but at this point, nothing was. She had encountered many machines, climbed the highest places to get to Gaia Prime, but these were not the most difficult steps. What she found out at the end… that hurt. How could he? How could he murder those people that gave her the opportunity to be here now? Everything he had done before was not enough, he still had to do something more.
Sometimes she caught herself wondering what may have happened to him. She hoped his end was… what? Slow? Painful? Now those feelings didn’t matter, they would not bring him back. They would not bring Apollo back. Samina Ebadji had the job of her life, collecting information to all future generations, she would be able to teach humanity how to be better, but Ted Faro was too greedy, as always. How sad it was to see a lifetime job being erased in a matter of seconds, just to be gone as well.
Aloy tried to find some comfort, thinking that now the Alphas would be able to see what they had created, but in fact she was just feeling exhausted. Nothing was enough but she would continue. She had to. It was more than her life story that mattered now. She would not be selfish like Ted Faro.
She still had to deal with Sylens, in real life. He was there for real. He told her his story, but somehow she still had some sort of distrust about him. She didn’t know why, but he reminded her of Ted Faro. Maybe it was the greediness? He talked a lot about knowledge, about not being able to access Apollo. She didn’t trust him, but then again, relationships should not be built based on trust, right? After that, she never heard of him again.
When she returned to Meridian she still had so many things to do: talk to Sun King Avad and check if all the preparations were going well. She explained to Avad all she could, how important it was to protect the Spire, but his focus was Meridian.
“Perhaps the Vanguard, your Radiance?” Blameless Marad suggested.
“Yes. Send them to the Spire. Erend knows Aloy, he won’t question it” Avad trusted Aloy and he trusted Erend too. He was doing all he could to help her.
But that name… Erend. It made her feel something warm inside her. She hasn’t seen him in a while now, since the situation with Dervall. She knew he had headed back to the Claim to take care of Ersa’s funeral, and like he said, that meant less talking and more drinking. That scared her a little, since he was devastated by the sadness and the alcohol when she first met him in Meridian. Devastated and drunk. Was he just a drunk now? She hoped not. She felt a little uneasy now.
“Focus, Aloy” She thought. What was that now, with all those problems to deal with?
“And have the city guard fortify the western ridge. There they can be seen to protect Meridian and the Alight, where the Spire rests” Aloy continued the conversation with the Sun King and Blameless Marad. It wasn’t the time to be anxious like that.
Marad mentioned many allies came, some for Meridian, some for shards. But many came for her. She had to check that. All her life she was just an outcast, but now people came in her aid. They should be gone, far from here, to protect themselves, but there they were. Why? Some things were still difficult for her to understand. All her life she had only talked to Rost. Sometimes with Karst, but this wasn’t a real relationship, it was only business. And there was Grata too, but she never answered.
She didn’t know how to deal with people. Suddenly, during the proving, she had talked to more people in some hours than in her whole life. Erend was there, the conversation with him was easy, but so was Olin, and that was when everything started. Her life finally changed.
She decided to visit the defenses sites first. Maybe she would be able to help someone out. She took the elevator to go down, the fastest way, and the first person she spotted was Teb.
“Teb! Have your wounds even had time to heal?”
“Don’t look so surprised. I told you I’d be here. I just need to not think about the pain, but I’ll leave the fighting to the Nora on top of the Spire. I brought supplies instead, and the Carja made me an honorary quartermaster, whatever that means”
“It sounds impressive!” She was happy to see him here. She didn’t know why, but seeing him here made her miss the Embrace. Not because she felt it was her home, but because it made her think of her future. Or the possibility of no future at all. What if she fails? And if she didn’t, what would she do then? She had never thought about that and now it wasn’t the moment, but she was afraid of what was to come.
“I could get used to it. Meridian is what is really impressive” Teb answered. “We’ll be setting up caches of arms and medicine under these banners. Look for them when the fighting starts”
“I will. Thanks for being here Teb”
“Aloy…” Oh no. She knew that tone. She knew he was afraid too. “When you went into the mountain… did the Goddess tell you our chances?”
Oh shit. How could she answer that? Her own confidence was shaken by her fears of a shadowy future, how could she increase his confidence then? So much responsibility…
“She didn’t need to. I know we can do this, Teb” That was all she could think of.
“Maybe we can” She could feel he was finally breathing now, a little bit relaxed. Her life was never easy, but it was so difficult to be the anointed, to support all of this. She knew now that she wasn’t just a Nora girl abandoned by some strange woman, she was much more than that. She had to carry all of Sobek’s burden. How was she able to create the Zero Dawn Project?
After checking on Teb, she as able to talk to Petra. She missed their little talks, just as Petra did. Aloy tested her improved cannons and she could feel all the electricity over her body again. Pure energy. Pure strength. Just like Petra, trying to flirt again.
“I always had a weakness for restless girls” That was how Petra ended the conversation.
Aloy realized that all those people there, they could be more than just people. Maybe they were her friends too. She could be afraid, but knowing that she had made so many friends, she knew the battle would be at least bearable. Even Nil was there. Of course, he couldn’t resist the killing with no responsibility. She went up the Spire and found more friends. The Nora were there, ready to help the anointed, but for sure they were not comfortable with the situation. For them, Meridian was a tainted land.
The last person she talked to was him: Erend. She was afraid that he would be that same old drunken man, stinking like ale, the one she found on her first day in Meridian. He was with other Oseram guards, talking about the enemy. She even laughed a little on her inside when one of the guards said that Carja guards dressed like birds. Oh yeah, she could use a bit of humor to help with her morale.
“Aloy” There he was. “So here we are again, gearing up for a fight” Oh, by the Goddess, he was not drunk, what a relief. “Only this time, it sounds like the bad guys have a lot more firepower. What are we up against, really?”
Oh no no no no, that tone again. Not a long time ago, when she was just an outcast, it didn’t matter if someone else felt like that. For many times Rost had sent her all by herself to hunt and train for the proving. Now she knew that he was probably just around the corner, like he was on the last time she saw him. But she didn’t know that, and for all that matter, she was alone. Just Aloy and her own insecurities. But now she had to deal not only with herself but with so many others, other people’s insecurities, and she was just feeling… overwhelmed.
“I’m not sure. But there’s going to be a lot of them, and they’ll have machines” She was doing her best to show some confidence. “And if they get past us, it’s not just Meridian that will fall. The rest of the world will go with it” Maybe she wasn’t doing as best as she was thinking.
“That’s… big”
For a moment, just a moment, she felt like the floor was opening beneath her. For some reason she considered Erend her closest friend, and if he was showing some weakness, then what would she do?
Then he started to scream with his guards. “Steel before iron!” That made her feel strong again.
“We’re here for you” He said.
“Thank you Erend. Ersa would be proud”
“Only if we win” And with that, he showed her all the confidence he could.
She was so tired. Oh, by the Goddess, so tired. And then that IF came. She desperately needed to rest. It was time to return to Olin’s house. No, not Olin’s. It was her house now.
Who would have imagined that with all these problems she would finally have a place to call home? She didn’t want to have her home destroyed. Sometimes she even felt happiness here, in Meridian. She came all the way back to her place thinking about everything she had seen that day. All those people willing to give their life for a cause they just didn’t know anything about, and they wouldn’t understand, even if she tried to explain. It took her a long time to understand. She was not thinking only about her friends, but about all the other guards, Carja or Oseram, and the citizens too. Maybe Aloy’s strength came from being alone, and now that she was surrounded by other people she cared about, she was afraid. Afraid of not succeeding, and then what would happen to them?
Oh, she really needed to rest.
After arriving home, she lazily opened the new door. She was happy that Avad restored the one Erend had broken during her first day in Meridian. The night was cold and even with the fire lit she would be unable to keep the cold out without a door. The biggest problem in Meridian, especially in the highest parts, was the wind. It could always bring sand, sometimes a sandstorm. But at nights, it would bring the cold.
When she came inside, to that cozy and warm room, the first thing she did was taking her boots of. She loved that feeling, when you wear shoes during a long day, and you finally can set your toes free. Then she heard her stomach. Goddess, she was hungry! Her day was so busy that she didn’t even have time to eat. Fortunately she had some fruits in her pack. That would do. She couldn’t waste any more time cooking, she needed to be rested and, the most important, ready. The strike would happen at any time now.
Aloy was going upstairs when she heard something outside. She suddenly stopped, trying to listen if it had already begun. When she heard nothing else outside, she resumed her actions: she really needed to rest.
The upper floor had everything she needed: a big, comfortable bed. She never had such a comfortable bed, not even in Rost’s cabin. For the Nora, comfort was a distraction. Well, despite missing the Embrace for some strange reason, she had never considered herself a Nora, so she could just enjoy for a few moments that feeling
Five minutes… ten minutes… and she still couldn’t close her eyes to sleep. Her mind was running fast, and suddenly she understood. She didn’t miss the Embrace. It was never her home, the Nora were never her people. But living there all her life, she knew everything there. All the animals, the machines. She didn’t talk to the other Nora, but she knew their faces. She had climbed those mountains and swam in those rivers for many years. They represented safety. After spending so much in Meridian, that represented safety too.
What was the next step now? What would she do when everything was over?
Suddenly she felt a strong need to touch the amulet Rost gave her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “How could you sleep, Elisabet, with a weight like this pressing on you? How did you, Rost, after you lost your family?”
No one would answer. No one to talk to.
“Sylens? Are you there?” She just needed to hear something, someone saying that things would be fine. No answers again. “Guess I shouldn’t ask ghosts for advice”.
Her eyes started to feel heavy. Her breathing was starting to slow down. She closed her eyes and finally felt asleep. She was so tired that it was a dreamless night.
“Fire and spit, Erend, stop staring” he said to himself. He knew Aloy came back to Meridian, but he didn’t have the chance to talk to her yet. The last time he saw her, she had saved his ass. Again. They have worked together, that’s true, but… she was just incredible. How could she know Dervall would strike like that? How could she be so prepared to strike back? It didn’t matter, he just wanted to talk to her again.
But now she was chatting to that Nora boy. What was his name? Varl. No, not Varl, just boy. Well, he knew what he was doing: not saying his name would make him less than what he really was. At least inside his mind. Why was she talking to him? Hammer on steel, Varl was a good looking boy, strong, young, somehow interesting, and Erend was… well, just Erend.
All his life Erend was this insecure boy. He never felt he was enough. He knew his drinking problems came from this insecurity, and every day it was a struggle for him to continue sober. But after everything Ersa had done, all the things she had said to him, he would sober up. He had to. He didn’t know what Ersa saw in him, but she believed the man he became. It’s about time he started to behave like the man she saw in him.
After what it looked forever, Aloy started to come in his direction. Shit. He wanted to talk to her so bad, but now he had no idea what to say. He was not alone now, so he wouldn’t have the privacy he wanted. He had so many things to say, about how thankful he was, about how he was feeling now... He didn’t have the opportunity to say that before heading back to the claim and he knew these subjects would be for another time, if they had more time. He was here for her, as she was when he needed, but fuck, he had never been as scared as he was now.
When Aloy was approaching his group, his heart started to beat faster. Gladly his guards were mumbling about the Carja, so he would be able to hide his fear. He tried to learn some new information about who, or what, were they fighting against, but as a soldier he could feel she was just scared as he was. Then he did the only thing he knew to break the tension: speak. Loudly.
“Sounds like our kind of fight, right guys? Where do they put the Vanguard?!”
Maybe it wasn’t the best idea, to see a group of men screaming like that. But, as Ersa used to say, intelligence wasn’t his best quality. At least Aloy looked lighter now. He thought he saw a smile crossing her face for a few seconds before she turned her back to leave.
His men continued talking, and for some reason soldiers are not gentle and polite men. He was anxious, but he was trying to control them, until one of them finally said:
“Are you going to kiss her, Cap?”
Shit. Suddenly, he could feel all his blood going to his face, burning just like fire. Just like her hair. Fuck. Aloy probably didn’t think about him in that way and fortunately she was just leaving when his man said that, but fire and spit, he didn’t know what to do. He could feel his face red again, but now from the anger.
“Shut up. Now! Let’s pretend that never happened.” He told her, then he waited until she was far from the group and looked to his soldiers. “Thanks to your friend here you now received a three-week-pass to clean the quarters. After training time.”
He could hear his soldiers complaining a bit, but deep down he knew they were his friend and respected him. Those men were not only his soldiers, but also his friends. They were together in the Vanguard since he was old enough to hold his hammer, and some of these men knew him from before the Vanguard time. They knew about his life story. It was just something normal between soldiers to make fun of each other during moments so tense like that. He just didn’t expect a reaction like that in front of her.
Somehow Erend was happy. His men’s reaction only meant they considered Aloy part of their group now. She probably didn’t know that, but they would follow her orders anywhere. Spending a lot of time with them, helping with Ersa’s and Dervall’s situation… they respected her now. Erend knew they were just trying to ease the tension.
“You’ve just reached his weak point!” One of his men said between some quick laughs. Erend himself was laughing nervously on the inside. Deep down he knew he wanted to kiss her. Maybe they wouldn’t have other opportunity. Maybe they wouldn’t be here tomorrow at this time.
“I have to check all the preparations in the palace. I’ll be back as soon as I can” Erend really needed to check all the preparations with Marad and the King, but that wasn’t entirely true. He wanted to talk to Aloy and luckily Olin’s house, her house, was on his way. He could hear his men when he turned his back to go, but he didn’t care.
He took the elevator to go as fast as he could. He was not going to run, he was not desperate, but he wanted to be fast. It was late now and the streets were empty. That gave him time to think about what he was going to say. But when he arrived, he stopped in front of the door and… what? What would he say in a moment like that? He took a deep breath. A second one. And then he decided to go. She was probably tired and overwhelmed with the responsibility she had. He would not give her more problems now and the best thing he could do was letting her rest.
It was finally over. Helis was gone. Hades was gone. She could finally breathe now. All her body was in pain, she could feel every muscle trying to relax now, but when she stabbed Hades she felt a wave of electricity coming to her body from it. She didn’t know how she was still alive when she opened her eyes. She looked to the spear there and although she didn’t consider herself a Nora, for some reason she decided to leave it there. Just in case.
When she got up she felt her skin stretching, from her right hand to her back. She knew what that meant: Hades left something on her that would be there forever. Another scar, and this one was big. With all that smoke she couldn’t see much, so she went to the edge of the Spire, where she could see the city and the King’s palace. She raised her bow in a gesture everyone would understand. They won the battle and things were in peace now.
She heard someone approaching and when she turned, she saw Erend. By the Goddess, he was alive, and she had never felt so happy before. She could see he was hurt, bleeding here and there, many bruises, but alive. He walked slowly towards her and touched her shoulder. She knew he was too tired to say something but she understood he was relived. For some reason she wanted to hug him, feel all his strength around her, but she couldn’t. She was too scared. How could she be scared of that, after fighting an army of war machines not long ago?! But then Varl came, and the moment was gone.
“You did it, Aloy. The Goddess smiled upon us” Varl said. He had many bruises too.
“No Varl. We did it together. Not the Sun, not the Goddess, just people” And then she turned her back to him. She didn’t have the energy to discuss this now. She knew that the worst part was over, but they had to count the dead and plan how to return to normal life.