Chapter Text
The trolling began the day after Marie told him she was pregnant. First, they invited Alfred over to get him onboard. When he heard about the pregnancy he had looked extremely happy. Tim could’ve sworn he saw tears in his eyes. Once he’d congratulated them Alfred agreed to play ignorant.
Step one complete.
Next they had to drop little hints about Marie being unwell, which Tim got to do most of. As he played concerned over Marie’s health, the rest of the family slowly became concerned. Once they were sufficiently concerned, Tim made a big show out of having to take Marie to the doctor for a checkup. In actuality they went to the hospital for her first ultrasound. They needed a picture for the next part of the plan.
A few days later, they called for a family meeting. Sitting together with their hands clasped together, the ultrasound picture securely hidden on Marie’s lap, they looked uncharacteristically serious and worried. This made the bats nervous.
“So, as you know I had to go to the doctor recently, and, well. We have some news.” Marie’s words only sparked more worry.
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
She and Tim exchanged a nervous glance. “You could say that.”
Dick had come closer in his worry, so when Marie offered up the “doctor’s report” he was the first one to grab it and turn it over.
“Oh my god. Oh my god! No way! Really?!” He kept glancing between the paper and the couple frantically, excitement only growing at their nods of confirmation.
Dick ran over to Bruce and shoved the ultrasound picture in his face. Bruce caught it and gave it a glance, pausing to take another look and continuing to stare. The rest of the bats gathered behind to look at it, all of them reacting in some form of surprise.
“You fucking trolls. Couldn’t just outright tell us that B over here is gonna be a grandpa. Oh no. You’ve gotta make us think something is wrong.”
“While we appreciate the snark Jason, we have to get our entertainment somewhere.”
“Tt. What a waste of time.”
“I think you broke him.”
“Nah,” Dick said, looking at Bruce. “He’ll be fine.”
Despite this, Bruce remained frozen, staring at the ultrasound picture for a while longer. “I suppose congratulations are in order. If this is how you told us, how are you going to tell Gotham?”
The only answer he received was a pair of smirks.