Chapter Text
He hadn't meant to eavesdrop that day. Super soldier hearing didn't always make it easy to block out the conversations around him, but he never meant to intrude upon yours. He did his best to respect boundaries with you, even when he wanted more. When he heard the topic of dating though, he got curious. He never saw you with anyone. The thought of you dating anyone made his gut twist. No, he didn't like that at all.
"Oh, come on! This isn't the 1940's. Just ask him out," some agent told you, not really caring who.
"No. I'm...not interested," you said.
That coil in his gut tightened when he heard you say that. He had to admit, it hurt. Really hurt. It wasn't his pride necessarily, but something much deeper. It brought him back to years ago when girls left and right ignored him. Rejected him. Wanted nothing to do with him. He never thought you would be the type.
"You're such a liar. Everyone knows you're crazy about him."
A small smile touched his lips at that. It soothed the burn he felt in his heart. And by the way your heart raced, it helped confirm it. He had seen the longing glances and the way you blushed when he addressed you. You had sass at times, but you ultimately respected his authority. That pleased him.
"He isn't crazy about me," you said softly, like you were trying to hide how much it hurt. "I'm not Peggy Carter. Hell, I'm not even Sharon. I don't...I don't want to compete with a ghost or a memory. I don't want to be second place in anyone's heart. And that's exactly what I would be with Steve. So can we please drop it?"
He bit his lip, refraining from calling out and letting you know that you were wrong. It wasn't a competition. It was true that you weren't Peggy, but that was what held his attention. You were different. So wonderfully different.
"I think you would be good for him."
"You saw how he was when he came back. He wanted to be with her and he didn't get that chance. So just drop it. I'm serious," you snapped.
He swallowed a little. It was rough when he returned, but that wasn't your fault. He knew you tried to sound angry, but there were tears in your throat. He hated the thought of you crying. At least, sad tears. At night when he was alone, it was easy for him to imagine how you would look underneath him. Tears streaming down your cheeks from how badly you needed to come-
"Well...I think Bucky may have a thing for you."
Taking a small step back, he took a deep breath. It took everything in him not to destroy the door. Bucky was his best friend and he had come a long way after everything. He deserved to be happy. But...he didn't need you. Not like he did.
"You think Bucky likes me?" you asked.
For a moment, he looked at the ground with clenched fists. It sounded like you were suddenly interested. Surely he hadn't misjudged you. Not after everything. Even if you had a slight interest in Bucky, it didn't change the fact that you wanted him. Right? If he had to share you, he would have been the only logical choice...but just like you didn't want to be second best, neither did he.
"Trust me. He wants you."
His eyes darkened as he looked up from the floor. He wanted to shut that bitch up. The nerve she had to encourage you like that. No. That wouldn't do. If she kept at it, he would find a way to shut her up for good.
"He's a great guy. Really. And he's been through so much...Look, I thought we were done talking about this," you said before he heard your footsteps.
He quickly went to the other end of the hall, his speed easily making it look as though he just began to walk through. As you opened the door, he made sure to keep his face neutral. He couldn't give anything away. At least, not until you were ready.
"Captain," you said softly as you walked toward him.
The small blush that appeared when he looked at you made him want to throw you on the ground so he could bury himself deep. Did you have any clue what you did to him? He had to be patient. There would be time for that later. And you would love it. He knew you would.
"You can call me Steve," he said as he stopped. "I've told you that before."
"I know, but I can't help it."
It was because you were respectful. And you followed his authority. You trusted him. That trust would flow into the next part of your life...Your future with him. It would be everything you wanted and more. He would see to that.
"Steve," the agent he couldn't care to even remember at the moment chimed in.
"Captain," he corrected her sternly, keeping his eyes on you. "Enjoy the rest of the afternoon."
"Thank you," you said, giving him that soft smile he loved as he began to walk again.
He refrained from looking back. He had to do something...Something he should have made the moment he met you. It wasn’t easy to be patient. Not when you were so close. You were certainly right about one thing. He HAD changed once he came back. Or maybe he just was like this all along.
*****
"I don't think Cap likes me very much," Katrina told you later on that day.
"I'm sure he does," you tried to assure your friend. "You just...don't really show him the respect he deserves."
That was the nice way of putting it. She didn't respect him at all. She did her job well enough, but was terrible about hiding how she felt about the Captain. You warned her not to be too vocal, which made her tell you to be MORE vocal. You spoke up, but in different ways. If you challenged the Captain, it was never without reason. You knew she did it just to get a rise out of him.
"Look, I'm not saying that he shouldn't be respected. He just acts like he's special when the entire team saved the world."
"He IS special," you said. To you, he was. It sounded pathetic to your own ears, which made you feel worse when you caught the look on her face.
"Just because you want to jump on his dick doesn't mean I have to suck up to him," she said with a shrug.
"It isn't that," you argued quickly. It truly wasn't. You were into him. Everyone seemed to know that, except for Steve. You also admired him. He had given so much of himself to the world and it was a better place because of it.
"Any other skinny guy out there could get a serum like that and become a hunk. That's all I'm saying."
"You're ridiculous," you sighed with a shake of your head.
"I'm right. And he needs to get laid. You both do. You can finally say you lost it," she continued.
That made you glare at her. You didn't need anyone teasing you about your virginity. You just wanted your first time to be special, as cheesy as the thought was. And, yes, maybe you imagined that Steve would be the one. A girl could dream.
"And...this is where I leave you," you said as you got to your room.
"Think about Bucky. Seriously. I think he could give you quite the ride," she teased, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Why am I friends with you?" you joked as you opened your door.
"Your life would be dull without me!" she smirked before she leaned in closer. "And I'm serious. Try and forget about Rogers. Something is just...off about him."
You gave her a funny look as she headed to her own room. You weren't sure what she meant by that. Maybe it was just the fact that he was a man from a different time. Then again, so was Bucky. Why was he different from Steve?
"Stop thinking about him," you whispered to yourself as you went into your room.
Your room was standard, like the other agents and members of the new S.H.I.E.L.D. No one got special treatment in that area. After initially losing to Thanos, the Captain and Black Widow had done their best to show the world that an expanded team was needed once again. Trust wasn't easy to regain after H.Y.D.R.A., but they had slowly gained traction. And with some of the Avengers leading the way, every new member was carefully evaluated and considered.
Glancing at your dresser, your eye caught one of the only photographs you brought with you. It was your favorite photo of you and your parents. Their only child, you truly were their pride and joy. They always loved and supported you. Watching them turn to dust that fateful day still haunted you.
It was almost by chance that you met Steve. When you had spoken up at the support group, you mentioned that you still tried to see the good in the world. There were still people that needed to be saved. He stopped you before you could leave and asked if you really meant what you said about helping people. The rest was history.
After the snap was reversed, your parents came back. It took you some time to find them and, even then, it almost didn't feel real. They were shocked to see you five years older. You still had nightmares where you repeatedly watched them turn to dust. Those nights it was always tough to go back to sleep. Steve caught you crying once in the common area over it, but he had been kind enough not to push.
"My door is always open if you need someone to talk to."
The tiniest smile touched your lips as you took off your shoes. Steve was always kind and looked out for you. And thanks to him, you had your family back. Katrina didn't know what she was talking about. There wasn't anything off about him. Unless...Did he see you as a little sister? Maybe your friend was trying to let you down gently in her own way.
You paused and glanced back at the photograph, frowning as you went over to pick it up. It usually sat right in the middle of the dresser, but it was slightly to the left. You shook your head as you fixed it. You couldn't remember moving it, but you must have done it when you got ready that morning.
"Miss you guys," you said, going to curl up on your bed.
Of course, your mind drifted immediately back to Steve. Feeling insecure bothered you. It wasn't easy to get over a crush. You didn't like to give up on anything, but was it giving up if you never had a chance? Who could win against a ghost?
*****
Steve was staring down at his phone, watching the live feed from your room. Having agents on the compound now made it much easier to keep track of where everyone was and what they were doing. He had to admit technology like this was something he liked about the modern day. And it was surprisingly easy to set up a few extra things in your room today.
Watching you curl up on your bed put a smile on his face. And, like he suspected, you put the photo back right where it was meant to be. He couldn't help himself. Being in your room and so close to your things, he just had to look. You were close to your parents, but couldn't let them get in his way. And if your friend didn't keep her mouth shut...
A small part of him felt guilty. He really did try to respect your privacy, but his hand was forced after what he heard. What if you tried to move on from him? He couldn't let you do that. He needed you. And he knew you needed him.
"Hey, punk. You have that goofy look on your face again," Bucky said as he got a glass of water.
"What?" Steve asked as he looked up. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yeah, you do. I know you. Talk to me."
"It's nothing," he swore as he set his phone down. He wasn't ready to share this yet. It wasn't selfish to want to keep a little something for himself, was it?
"Actually...I wanted to ask you something. What do you think of Kitten?" Bucky questioned as he sat down.
"Kitten" was your nickname that caught on quickly. Bucky still called you "doll", but the affectionate nickname stuck after a small incident and you didn't seem to mind. It actually happened when you were defending him. Some hotshot tried to go toe-to-toe with him and you immediately stepped in.
"Aww. The kitten thinks she's a tiger."
"And you better hope I don't slice you with my claws."
"I don't know...I kind of like kitten," Bucky smirked.
"What about her?" Steve replied casually.
"I just...wanted to know what you think about her. She's sweet," he smiled softly.
He drummed his fingers against his thigh as he watched his friend. That familiar, soft smile. It reminded him of the old days. When he had a new girl on his arm. You were more than a flavor of the week. You wouldn't be treated that way. And you were better than that.
His imagination was getting the best of him. Buck didn't even say why he was asking. And he wasn't the same man as before. He had been through hell and worse. It was easy to see why he would be drawn to you.
"She is sweet," he agreed carefully. "She's...a hard worker. Kind. I think she's a good woman. A great woman, actually. And she deserves to be taken care of, don't you think?"
Bucky nodded silently. "Yeah, she does."
"Why are you asking?" came out before he could stop himself.
"No reason," his friend smiled back.
"Bullshit," he thought. He wasn't going to lose his chance at happiness. You were going to be his...His best girl. After all, he was the man with a plan.