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It all starts when the boys return from their week and a half break. Despite being happy attending numerous showcases and performances, the boys felt tired and upon noticing this, the company had granted them a short vacation. Maybe it was the harsh winter or the homesickness catching up, but whatever it was, they all unanimously decided to head to their respective homes. It proved to be a great idea when they step out of their cabs looking refreshed and ready to jump back into business. The air is dry, and there are traces of paper-white snow on the ground; as Soobin exits the warmth of the car, he shudders, feeling the temperature drop.
“Soobinnie-hyung!!”
Soobin has only taken a few steps outside when he feels a soft body collide with his back.
“Hi, Kai.” The younger hums in affirmation at the name, but Soobin thinks it’s unnecessary. He would recognize that voice anywhere, it’s the only voice that can make his heart flutter the way it’s doing now. He takes a moment to mess with the younger’s hair. “How was your break?”
“Fun,” Kai says, grinning. “Bahiyyih and I binged a new show. Oh, and dad made rice cookies, so I brought some for you.”
“Your dad’s baking is the best, thanks.” Soobin can already taste them in his mouth, and in gratitude, he leans back into Kai’s embrace. After a moment, Soobin feels Kai’s hands sneaking their way inside the pockets of his hoodie, no doubt seeking shelter from the cold.
“Why aren’t you wearing gloves?”
“They’re somewhere in my bag.”
Soobin tsks, ready to turn and reprimand Kai for not taking care of himself properly, but a loud cough stops him.
“We exist, you know,” Yeonjun comments dryly as he approaches them, the others trailing behind. They aren’t as careless as Kai, dressed appropriately for the weather from head to toe.
“We know. I missed you.” Kai answers, nuzzling Soobin’s back for a few seconds and releasing a content sigh.
“Doesn’t look like it.” Taehyun pouts, and seeing how crestfallen he looks, Kai relents, giving Soobin a sorrowful look before pulling away and embracing the smaller figure. (Soobin laments the loss.)
“Lucky for you, there’s enough love for me to spread.”
A lazy smile spreads over Taehyun’s face as the younger squishes him with his body, and it doesn’t take long for the others to join.
“Group hug!” Beomgyu yells, squeezing between the maknaes.
“Not to be cheesy, but I missed you,” Yeonjun states, trying to find a comfortable position.
“It’s been a week,” Soobin rebuts, and Yeonjun sticks his tongue out childishly.
“And a half!”
“Ew, I sense feelings.” Beomgyu gags teasingly, and Yeonjun pokes his side gently. Soobin is about to comment on how Yeonjun’s just a sap when his phone rings, and with surprise, he answers.
The call is short and to the point, and judging by the monosyllabic answers, there’s no room for argument. Soobin’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as he hangs up.
“Bang PD-nim wants to see us. Didn’t say why just mentioned it was important to be there.”
Beomgyu shrugs. “So we stop by his office on the way in, no biggie.” He begins to free himself from the cluster of limbs, and the others follow his actions, walking towards the building. The mood is light and full of chatter, so it takes a few steps for Soobin to notice there’s someone absent from his side. He whips his head to see Kai standing there, frowning, hand brushing his throat.
“Ning...?” Soobin examines his actions curiously, and Kai hastily drops the hand, schooling his features into a playful expression.
“Were you waiting for me? Did you miss me that much?” Kai teases, with as much aegyo as he can and laughing when Soobin cringes.
“Forget I asked.”
“You love me.” Kai links their arms together as Soobin rolls his eyes, directing them to the building and praying the butterflies in his stomach die down.
“You can’t prove anything.”
“Can too.”
“Name one time.”
They don’t stop bickering even when they’ve caught up to the rest, and it’s only Taehyun’s shushing that gets them to quiet down.
Beomgyu knocks softly, and a deep voice beckons them to enter.
Bang PD-nim sits in the centre of an oval table. Papers are scattered carelessly all over the glossy black surface, but despite the messy surroundings, he sits straight, a warm smile dancing on his lips.
He begins to explain as a mother would to their toddler.
“We’ve been working on the tracks for the new album, and hopefully we can finish the lyrics this week and start recording the next.” Taehyun beams, and beside him, Beomgyu breaks into a wide smile as well. Their excitement is infectious, but it doesn’t reach Kai. Soobin doesn’t miss the way he panics, but the emotion is buried deep down, a strained smile in its place. What was that?
Soobin pulls Kai closer, sensing something was off.
Bang PD-nim talks a bit longer, discussing times and arrangements for the song before dismissing them kindly.
“Oh, and boys?” Five heads turn in unison. “The building is colder than usual, especially the dorms. Be sure to layer up.”
The five boys nod, rushing out of the room and silently making their way to their living quarters.
“I hate being cold, can you believe our luck?” Beomgyu whines, latching onto Taehyun, and the younger quickly reciprocates the action.
“Yeah, imagine how cold the beds are.” Yeonjun laments, running a hand through his hair.
“At least we have the recording to look forward to.” Taehyun’s words bring light to Yeonjun’s eyes, and the eldest throws them headfirst into a debate over music genres their song could be.
Their conversation spirals, but Soobin stops paying attention. He turns to Kai, not knowing what to expect. He looks fine, unbothered, but Soobin feels that something’s wrong. As if to prove his suspicions, Soobin calls out Kai’s name a few times, eliciting no response. The maknae is staring off into space, lips pursed. Finally, Soobin decides to nudge the younger, and the boy startles.
Kai rubs the back of his neck. “‘M sorry, I zoned out.”
“You okay?”
Kai smiles uneasily. “I’m good.”
Soobin tilts his head, not buying it for a second, but he lets it go. Kai will talk when he wants to. Soobin only hopes he opens up soon.
-
It’s dark inside, and everything’s obscured. If Soobin squints, he can make out the silhouettes of the couch and the tv, but beyond them, it’s a gloomy sight. Aside from the persistent branch tap-tapping the window, it’s dead silent. The image is far from welcoming.
Yeonjun sighs and hangs his head, flicking the light switch. “Come on. We need to get settled.”
Chills run down Soobin’s spine when he steps through the door. It’s not as bad as being outside, but it’s a change from the toasty climate in the hallway.
“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this,” Taehyun starts. “But I’d rather be in the practice room.” Soobin can’t help but agree.
Soobin spots a pile of blankets and stops in front of them, running a hand through the soft-looking material. Soobin presses his lips, annoyance settling in his bones. It was going to be hard to warm up when the blankets lacked thermal capacity. From across the room, he sees Kai mirror his actions, sliding a hand through a pillow, a pout forming. Not even the beautiful sky blue cushion was spared. (Soobin narrows his eyes at the pillow, he could’ve sworn that was his .) Soobin shivers again and an idea pops into his head. Without a second thought, he approaches Kai, snaking his arms around the younger’s waist.
“Soobin..?”
“I’m cold.” It’s believable enough, Kai can’t call him out on it. With that in mind, Soobin presses his forehead against Kai’s cheek, scrunching his nose. Before the break he couldn’t keep his hands off of Kai, it seems the feeling has persisted.
“Is your face cold too?”
“Would you warm it up for me?”
Kai rolls his eyes and swats Soobin away like an annoying fly, trying his hardest to not smile. “You like me that much?”
This time it’s Soobin faking disgust but he holds Kai tighter, feeling the negativity dissolve simply by being at Kai’s side. (And maybe something blossoms at the same time.)
-
Soobin brushed it off before, but now, now he’s worried.
After layering up, they decide to head to the living room to play some games, get their minds off things. Relax.
They’re playing Uno, and as per usual, Kai sits next to the leader, peering over his shoulder to “sneakily” look at his cards. Soobin bats him away, complaining loudly in a perfect imitation of Seokjin-hyung, and Kai grins at him slyly. “You’re gonna lose,” the younger singsongs teasingly, and before Soobin can retaliate or hit him, he ducks, hiding behind Yeonjun. Soobin complains about Kai’s cheating and the youngest protests lightly but doesn’t react further, opting for staying put and eating chips. There’s another odd moment in which Kai zones out, not realizing Beomgyu is calling him until Yeonjun snaps in his face.
“Sorry, where were we?”
Soobin narrows his eyes at him, and Kai responds with a finger heart and a terribly bad wink. From then on, Soobin pays closer attention to his actions.
Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Kai keeps clearing his throat, sometimes paired with a frown. Other times, he draws into himself. When that happens Soobin bugs him, picking his clothes and tugging his arms until the younger is forced to pay attention to him. Every time, it ends with Kai hugging Soobin back. Soobin’s relieved he’s distracted him long enough to forget whatever the problem was. Something was making the younger upset, and he confirmed he didn’t imagine things when Beomgyu pulled him aside, interrupting his hunt for snacks.
“What?”
“Did something happen to Kai during the break?” Beomgyu inserts his hands in his back pockets, faking nonchalance, but Soobin sees past it. He wouldn’t ask if he didn’t think it was serious.
“I don’t know,” Soobin answers truthfully, rubbing his hands together.
“He’s not being loud or acting spontaneously as he usually does,” Beomgyu murmurs. Soobin nods, understanding his concern.
But neither of them take action until dinner comes around and Kai doesn’t say a word. Usually, he goes out of his way to compliment the corresponding cook but not tonight. Tonight he stuffs his face with spaghetti as fast as he can, retreating to the dorm room with a quiet goodnight.
Beomgyu pats Soobin’s shoulder. “You should talk to him.”
Soobin nods, setting his plate aside. “We should both-”
“No. Go alone, it’ll be less pressuring for him to speak up.”
Soobin twists his mouth, unsure, before standing up. He throws Beomgyu one last glance and when the other gives him a thumbs up Soobin heads to Kai’s room. He knocks lightly, but there’s no response. After a few minutes of pondering whether to go in or leave the younger alone, his worry wins, and he turns the doorknob.
Soobin’s eyebrows arch in surprise when he sees Kai, his blanket enveloping him like a burrito, his head and fluffy black hair the only parts of him visible. He’s curled around Tobin, facing the inside of the room, and there’s a mountain of smaller plushies surrounding him. Soobin calls out, but Kai doesn’t blink, and it’s then Soobin notices the green earbud case lying next to a Molang plush. He places a hand on Kai’s arm, and he startles, turning wide-eyed to face the older, looming over him.
“Soobin hyung?” He sounds tired, freeing his arm to take an earbud out.
“Are you okay? You seemed down today.”
Kai pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, eyes cast downwards. “I’m sorry I worried you hyung, I’m not feeling good.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay with worrying over you.” Soobin sits on the bed, scooting closer to the younger. “What do you mean by ‘I’m not feeling well’?”
“Yesterday morning, my throat started feeling sore...I think I’m getting sick.”
“Hmm,” Soobin presses the palm of his hand against Kai’s forehead, pushing back his bangs. “You don’t have a fever from what I can tell. Does your body hurt?”
Kai blinks owlishly. “No.”
Soobin nods, brushing his fingers across Kai’s cheek before pulling away. “It’s fine. We’ll deal with this, it’s probably just a sore throat.”
Kai shrinks into his blanket. “I’m sorry.” His voice is impossibly small, and it blisters Soobin to hear it.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s okay. These things happen, it’s not the end of the world.”
“But the recording…”
For a moment, Soobin blanks. It’d slipped past him, his worry for Kai taking control over his emotions and thoughts. It certainly made the situation harder.
“That’s in a few days. For now, let’s get you warmed up. Maybe tea might make it better.”
Soobin pauses, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I’ll think of something.”
Kai beams at him with the cutest gummy smile in the world, and it makes Soobin gulp, feeling the blush burn his cheeks. Kai is staring at him so adoringly, he feels like he’ll explode. It makes Soobin panic.
“You should get some rest,” Soobin rushes, hastily grabbing any toy and pushing it into Kai’s free arm. “Here, good night.” The older leans to quickly press a chaste kiss to Kai’s head, and his heart leaps right out of his fucking chest. If he stays any longer, Kai’s sure to notice.
Soobin dashes out of there so fast for a second he thinks he’s Usain Bolt. He takes a second to calm down; he needs to think of what actions he’ll take next. As the leader, he has to take care of Kai.
His embarrassment doesn’t subside at the thought; it should feel normal, he’s always in the position of taking care of others. But whenever it’s Kai, it’s different. Kai always makes him feel different, warmer, softer. Like mush. Soobin presses a hand to his heart as if the action could calm its erratic beating. Kai made that happen, and its been happening for a while. Belatedly, Soobin wonders if he should ever do something about it, but he shrugs it off instead. He got to have Kai close and that was enough for now.
-
The next day Soobin has his answer. Something had to be done, so he devised a plan that would make Kai recover in no time, no one could stop him. After a few minutes of googling, he searches for a loose piece of paper and scribbles down the following:
- Don’t let him get cold. Warm him up as much as possible.
- Make sure he eats well and drinks enough water.
- Make sure he gets enough sleep.
Soobin breaks into a smile as he stares down at the list, a familiar feeling blooming in his chest. He doesn’t name it, but he has a clear idea of what it is.
-
Step #1 is easier said than done, but Soobin tries his best. He fluffs the pillows on the couch as he thinks of how this might cheer Kai up. He’d seen little of the younger throughout the day and it makes him recall their conversation earlier.
That morning after his messy outline of plan ‘Soobin’s solo rescue mission,’ he’d washed his face and headed to the kitchen. He was always late for breakfast and knew the rest had likely started without him, his inability to wake up early persisted no matter how many alarms he set. Soobin opened the door and greeted three familiar faces. He nodded at them, heading over to a cupboard and pulling out a clean plate. Wait, three?
Soobin spun, not missing a beat. “Where’s Hueningie?”
“Kid says he’s not hungry.” Yeonjun smeared strawberry jam onto a slice of bread as he said so, lips pursed.
“I’ll be right back.” Soobin speed-walked to the room and didn’t bother knocking before going in. He was a little too worried to think about privacy.
“Hyung.” Kai didn’t bat an eyelash, sitting on the bed as if he’d foreshadowed this outcome.
“Why are you skipping breakfast?”
“I’m just not in the mood.” To his credit, Kai looked at him dead in the eye while he spoke.
Soobin sighed, considering his words and trying not to let his emotions take over. “It’s okay...but you need to eat something, okay? Your tummy might hurt if you don’t.”
“I know I just. I don’t want the others to know, I can handle you worrying over me, it’s what you do, always have done, and I don’t mind at all but... it’s not that I don’t trus-”
“You don’t want to be a burden.” Soobin knew that feeling well, he could see it staring back at him now. Kai didn’t answer but he didn’t need to confirm for Soobin to understand. He walked over. “Kai?”
“Hmm?”
Soobin snaked his arms around the younger, bringing him into his arms. “Let us care, you don’t need to be alone. Grab a bite when you feel like it, yeah? You need energy.” Soon after, Soobin stood up, taking his own advice and hoping he’d done something to help the younger.
Later he’d gotten intel from Taehyun saying he saw Kai in passing, headed for the kitchen. When Soobin asked around, everyone had seen bits of him but it seemed mostly he’d kept to himself. It didn't sit well with him so he arranged a movie night with Taehyun and Beomgyu in the living room, hoping to lure Kai, hoping it’d cheer him up. The younger is poking his head into the room a few minutes after they press play.
“Is that..?” Kai fixates on the tv first and later on them.
“Yeah, join us.” Soobin pats the free space next to him on the couch.
“Um.”
“Please?” And even with Soobin pleading, it takes Kai a few moments to nod.
He takes deliberate steps to avoid the mess of pillows and blankets on the floor thanks to the two idiots who’d insisted a fort made movie nights magical. Soobin’s watching the younger so diligently, a small shudder catches his attention instantly. For a second, Soobin wonders whether the feeble blanket he’d brought would be enough to warm them both. As Kai accommodates himself, the older slides his hand over the material and decides it doesn’t suffice.
“I’ll be right back, don’t pause the movie, I won’t take long.” Soobin beelines for the closet, leaving behind three confused faces.
He returns to find them transfixed by the screen, a copy-paste of each other, hanging off of every word the characters say. It makes it both easier and harder to slide back into his seat. Easier because he can proceed undetected and without disturbing them. Harder because of the armful of blankets, scarves and a stolen Molangie.
“Hyung?” Kai murmurs, noticing the dip in the couch even though his eyes are still trained on the movie. He shuffles, no longer sitting but lying horizontally as Soobin adjusts a blanket over him. Kai looks snuggly. And annoyed.
Soobin lifts an eyebrow in silent question.
“Aren’t you exaggerating?” Kai elaborates, exasperated, as Soobin tries to tie a scarf around his neck.
“Nope.” Soobin says it with a smile and much to Kai’s annoyance, the smile only grows when he lifts a hand to squish Soobin’s cheeks in an effort to stop him. Their eyes meet, and Kai stares hard. Soobin doesn’t blink, a skill he’s proud of having developed out of habit, but his embarrassment at their proximity still shines through the mask, a pale pink dusting his cheeks. (Sometimes Kai blushes too, small mercies.) However, it never deters Soobin from winning. He doesn’t break their staring contest, and grins victoriously when Kai sighs, releasing his attack and tugging at Soobin’s arm sheepishly instead.
“No more blankets, we’re gonna suffocate at this rate. If you insist on keeping me warm, do it yourself.” It’s a pouty tone followed by puppy eyes and grabby hands; in total, the combination is lethal. The toughest person alive wouldn’t stand a chance, much less a weak-hearted man like Soobin. He dumps a pillow they don't have use for on top of Taehyun and the boy whines at being A) used B) distracted but Soobin pays no mind, he’s a man with a mission. Warm him up, warm him up, warm him up . Being the taller one, Soobin situates himself behind Kai, back pressed firmly against the couch, arm looped around Kai’s waist.
“How are you feeling?” He whispers close to Kai’s neck, and the younger shudders for other reasons altogether.
“The same, don’t wanna risk singing yet.”
“There’s still time.”
Kai nods, seemingly unaffected by his state, choosing instead to re-focus on the screen. Soobin’s concern isn’t as easy to brush off, and he thinks that’s why Kai does it because he knows Soobin’s the biggest worry-wart on the planet. Kai laces their fingers together, not rare but not a habit of theirs and it makes Soobin pick apart Kai’s expression until he finds exactly what he knows he will.
Reassurance.
He finds that he’s Kai’s anchor as much as Kai is his, and he can’t help feeling his big fat crush grow in a single instant.
-
The characters squabble, their jabs pointless, and Hueningkai find himself bored of it. They’ve been at it for most of the movie, so he decides he’ll entertain himself instead, at least until the action restarts. He turns to Soobin.
“You’re comfy.” It’s a statement, a way to catch Soobin’s attention, and it works perfectly. Kai smiles. “I’m temporarily stripping you from your ‘gum’ title and instating you as ‘official pillow’.”
Soobin scoffs. “I’m not your gum, you’re mine .”
“That’s not what we all voted on~” Kai says, watching Soobin’s expression become indignant. And then, much to Kai’s chagrin, Soobin begins to smile.
“Is that so?”
Soobin rolls Kai over so that he’s on top of him, and Kai, in consideration to his poor throat, resists the urge to screech at the sudden move. (If it weren’t for his predicament, he’d let loose one of those loud dolphin screams he does when he’s in peril, and judging by the way Soobin stares down at him, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, he’d say he’s in danger right now.)
“Not teasing me now, are you?”
Soobin grins, scooting closer, making his bangs fall and Kai struggles. He’s sure Soobin can hear his heart pound furiously against his chest. If Soobin does, he doesn’t comment. Instead, Soobin attacks, hands poking Kai’s sides, making his protests louder, which only results in Soobin tickling his neck, and Kai really wants to scream a lung out if only to buy enough time to escape.
“Quit it,” Taehyun grumbles, whipping his head in their direction, sending them an icy glare.
The boys freeze.
Beomgyu tries to be intimidating as well, furrowing his brows in a ‘stern’ look, but he looks too cute for that. Kai giggles.
Taehyun narrows his eyes in the maknae’s direction, and he quickly shuts up, hiding his face in Soobin’s chest, who’d stopped moving and was resting on top of the younger, crushing him.
“Good,” Taehyun murmurs as he latches onto Beomgyu’s arm, immediately focusing his attention on the screen.
Kai scrunches his nose and considers poking his tongue out in defiance. But he’d never, as cute as Taehyun was, he could be scary. The boys settle comfortably against each other again. Soobin throws his leg over Kai, cuddling him, and Kai hugs Molangie tighter. It’s a weird cuddling chain Soobin feels happy to be a part of. He inches closer, burying his head in the younger’s soft hair, but a scoff draws him back.
“What?”
“Hmph.”
Soobin laughs heartily at Kai’s childish attitude.
“Come on.” Soobin tries to snuggle Kai again, but the younger resists.
“No,” Kai answers stubbornly.
“Please? I’m sorry.” Soobin tries again, and the younger reluctantly relents.
“Only if you admit you’re my gum.”
“I’m not-”
“Do you want cuddles or not?” Kai sulks, and Soobin knows they both want cuddles, so he gives in, cheeks flushed.
“Fine, I’m your gum.”
Soobin kisses Kai’s temple chastely so that he wouldn’t be the only one embarrassed, and it has the expected reaction. The affectionate action makes Kai flustered, and Soobin would call it a success if he weren’t in a similar state. He stares straight ahead, watching the movie play but not paying attention. Kai brushes his hand against Soobin’s, and his breath hitches. Slowly, cautiously, Kai curls their pinkies together, and it turns Soobin into a mess, a puddle of smiles he can’t keep down, rosy cheeks and suppressed squeals. Unknownst to him, Kai feels equally as giddy.
After some time their breathing evens out, and instinctively, they draw closer, seeking warmth. Their eyelids flutter shut, falling into a deep slumber in each other’s arms.
The movie ends, and Taehyun stands up, stretching his arms wide.
“Aish, what do we do with them?” Beomgyu gags, hovering over the sleeping boys.
Taehyun’s eyes flicker to the couch. “Let them be.” But Beomgyu doesn’t budge, doing the opposite and examining them closely. His eyes zoom into their hands.
“You think they know?”
“They’re too dumb hyung.” Beomgyu gives Taehyun an amused smile and the red-haired shrugs, with a What? It’s true, attitude.
Beomgyu sighs, a fond smile on his lips.
“Yeah. They’re dumb for each other, aren’t they?”
-
It takes some time, but Kai doesn’t seem to mind Soobin’s extra coddling anymore and has adapted to a six-foot puppy following him everywhere. Heck, he’d even told Yeonjun to back off when the older tried to steal Soobin away. As if more proof is needed, Kai doesn’t protest when Soobin tosses aside the definition of personal space and sits a centimetre away from Kai at the dining table. In fact, he rubs Soobin’s belly, cooing at his gum while Soobin tries to prevent his dimpled smile from showing. During dinner Kai seems distracted, playing with his food rather than eating it, and he thinks it’s the perfect opportunity to complete the next step.
“Say, ‘ahh’,” Soobin picks a vegetable from Kai’s plate, pressing the chopsticks tightly and hovering near Kai’s mouth.
“Ahh?” Despite it coming out as a question, Kai opens his mouth obediently.
“Here, another.” Soobin reaches for a second piece and urges Kai to eat it. It goes on a few more times before Kai intervenes, sealing his lips when Soobin tries to feed him.
“Hyung, you need to eat too.” Kai motions towards the barely touched food in front of the older, and he must interpret Kai’s concern for something else because he grimaces after being called out.
“Ah, is it too much? Sorry, I got carried away, you’re so cute you make me forget things sometimes.” Soobin draws back, digging in, and Kai stares for a few moments, butterflies dancing in his tummy. Soobin doesn’t do it again, and Kai pouts, not all together pleased at the lack of attention but knowing he was the one to put an end to it.
Intentionally, he thinks while grumbling around a piece of meat.
He must’ve been loud for Taehyun lifts his head to meet his eyes, raising an eyebrow.
“What?” Kai asks defensively, swallowing quickly.
“Nothing, nothing.” Taehyun tuts, cutting up his meat, ignoring Kai’s fierce gaze.
“Baby,” Taheyun taunts and beside him, Yeonjun sniggers.
Kai grumbles some more, all incoherent mumbles under his breath, empty threats of revenge and suffering thrown their way. It’s a weak attempt on his part to hide what they all know, that Kai likes being babied. And especially if the babying is done by none other than their leader.
-
Soobin calls him back to the kitchen later that night.
Kai sits, confused but compliant, as he watches Soobin move around, heating water and grabbing mugs, a whirlwind of motions and hums.
“Why are you wearing an apron?” From what Kai has deduced, his hyung wasn’t cooking or baking, so it seemed odd for Soobin to wear one.
“Habit I guess.” The tips of his ears turn red, and Kai thinks it’s cute. He’s still mulling over how cute Soobin is when said person starts opening a cabinet to get three boxes of...Kai squints.
“Hyung, what is that?”
“Tea.” Soobin picks a handful of different coloured packets and spreads them on the counter, discarding some and opening others, and Kai is left speechless. Since when did they have so much tea?
“When did we get these?”
Soobin throws him a secretive smile. “Does lemon and chamomile sound good?”
“I guess, but why...” The sentence dies in his throat when Soobin touches his neck and then points towards Kai, making the message clear. It’s a few beats later when Soobin pours the hot water into two mugs, that a theory pops into Kai’s head, and he gapes at Soobin.
“Did you buy these? For me?”
“No,” Soobin answers smoothly, turning around with the drinks. “But I did ask our manager to order them. Here.” He sits in front of Kai, pushing the mug near him. Kai feels endeared by the gesture.
“You didn’t have to.” But Kai is glad he did. He gnaws on his bottom lip, trying to suppress the smile threatening to take over.
Soobin shrugs. “There’s not much I wouldn’t do for you.” Kai takes a sip, eyes sliding to the corner of the room, letting the feeling of warmth envelop him. On a daily basis, Kai thinks his feelings are easy to ignore. They joke around enough for him not to take things seriously. But having Soobin so attentive these past days...changes everything.
-
Soobin’s odd contingency plan continues, and results are starting to show, Kai seems to be doing much better. In fact, he’s at the point where every time Yeonjun makes a lousy dad joke, or Taehyun roasts someone, he laughs comfortably, no longer diminishing or suppressing the sound. And yet when Soobin asks, “How are you feeling? Does it still hurt?” Kai doesn’t hesitate to nod, hand flying to his neck and puppy dog eyes shining through. It’s obvious he feels better, everyone else can tell, but Soobin is too blinded by his protective instinct, and Kai’s blatantly enjoying the attention, so the charade doesn’t stop. Beomgyu has a sneaky suspicion that there’s more to it. More feelings involved.
Which is why, when Kai’s coming back from the bathroom, he stops him in the hallway, determined to get to the bottom of things.
“Are you still feeling sick?”
Kai looks down at the older with a neutral expression. “Not sure, but it’s better to be safe, right?” Kai tries to flee, but Beomgyu sees it coming a mile away, easily gripping the younger’s shoulder and stopping him again.
“Is your throat still sore?” Beomgyu chases Kai’s gaze, searching for the hidden feelings he knows he’ll find.
“No.” Kai hangs his head, and Beomgyu lets him go.
“Say...remember that crush you had on Soobin hyung? Back when..? Do you think you might still have it?”
Kai shrinks back, gnawing on his bottom lip.
“Kai...”
“I’m not-I’m not stupid.” Kai twists his ring, fiddling, eyes darting between Beomgyu and the floor.
There’s a pregnant pause between them before Kai has the courage to speak again.
“Ignoring it is easier. I don’t risk anything.”
Beomgyu tries to hug Kai, but he resists, raising a hand to stop him. “Let me finish, I think...I don’t want my feelings to be the reason our friendship crumbles.” He doesn’t resist when Beomgyu pulls him closer this time.
“Keeping it inside hurts you.” Beomgyu begins to stroke Kai’s hair softly and the younger leans into the comforting touch.
“But-” He protests lightly.
Beomgyu pulls away and stares at Kai pointedly. “You can’t long for him forever.”
“I can try,” Kai stubbornly insists.
Beomgyu chuckles lightly. “Don’t. Your friendship is stronger than rejection, so is the team, our relationships with you both won’t change because of this. You should tell him. Besides, how do you know he doesn’t feel the same?”
“Chances are too small.” Kai mutters.
“Why?”
Kai fumbles, opening and closing his mouth, not knowing how to respond.
Beomgyu sighs. “At least tell him you feel better, yeah? I know you don’t want,” he waves a hand, “this to stop. But he should know.” He gives Kai a last glance before leaving. Kai stays put, teeth gnawing his bottom lip and feeling uncertain of what to do.
-
Unlike the other steps, sneaking into Kai’s bed every night is as easy as breathing. The younger shifts, allowing Soobin to take as much space as needed. There’s no fixed position, sometimes Soobin is the cuddler, and sometimes he’s the one being cuddled. Tonight, Kai’s arm drapes over Soobin’s waist, and huddles them together. Darkness coats every inch of the room except for the sliver of moonlight filtering through the window, a new occurrence. They don’t talk during moments like these, letting each other’s presence fill in all the gaps, letting the words unsaid during the day float away. They don’t talk, but Kai keeps fidgeting, unable to stay still, and Soobin wonders if they should.
“Are you okay?”
After much consideration. “I feel better. A lot better.” The words are barely audible; if Kai wasn’t nuzzling Soobin’s neck, the older didn’t think he’d be able to hear it.
The corner of Soobin’s lips twist upwards, and his eyes curve into crescent moons. “I’m glad.”
Kai doesn’t answer. There’s a pause, in which Soobin suspects Kai may be holding something back.
“What’s wrong?”
“I feel better.” Kai takes his time, and Soobin knows he’s chewing on the words. He always does that when he’s unsure. “Does that mean...does that mean you’ll stop taking care of me?”
Soobin turns to face Kai, and it’s one less shield for them to hide behind.
“Hmmm,” Soobin muses jokingly, faking being deep in thought. “No.”
“No?” Kai squeaks, his eyes growing wide.
“No. I like being close to you, I like taking care of you.” The admission sounds raw, and Soobin tries to decipher how Kai will take it. He stares back with nervous eyes, but they dance with hope, and it’s enough to make Soobin braver, bolder. He leans in, pressing soft lips to Kai’s cheek, dangerously close to his mouth. He doesn’t linger, but when he draws back, it’s barely a centimeter away. Kai keeps staring at Soobin’s lips, and Soobin wonders if he’s the only one feeling this way.
“Soobin hyung?”
“Can I..?”
“Yeah.”
They meet halfway, closing the distance. It’s a soft press of the lips. Soobin moves away, and Kai giggles, chasing after more. A flutter of kisses follows, sometimes migrating to Kai’s nose or Soobin’s dimples. After a few minutes, Soobin cups Kai’s cheeks to keep the younger one steady, he’s eager, and his hands feel hot. It’s comforting to know Kai’s equally as embarrassed. They try again with new impatience, and even though there’s no depth, they’re fine with it, especially as they can’t stop smiling, drunk on happiness. It takes a few tries for them to fully part.
“I have a crush on you,” Kai blurts, the pink dusting his cheeks spreading to his ears and neck. “Have had. For some time.” He adds as an afterthought and Soobin stares for a few seconds too long before squealing, fist balling up.
“You’re so cute~” Soobin practically smothers the younger with his arms, a wide smile taking over his face.
“Hyuung…” Kai pouts, crossing his arms.
“Aish don’t be embarrassed, I like you too.”
-
They spend some more time talking before Soobin becomes sleepy and clingy, and Kai is softly staring down at him because the person he wants to spend the rest of his days with is in his arms, and Kai is never going to let go.