Chapter Text
“It says here the human heart grows bigger during pregnancy. How cool is that?”
Eddie put the sci-fi novel he was reading down. Once again, they were unwinding in bed before heading to sleep.
“Very cool,” Eddie said to appease him.
Buck smiled sweetly and looked back at his phone. “Yeah, it’s like how the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes when he learned the true meaning of Christmas.”
Eddie smirked. Only Buck could find a correlation between pregnancy and a Christmas cartoon.
He picked his book back up thinking Buck was finished.
“I‘m not sure I’d ever want to get pregnant if I was a woman.”
Guess not. He put his book back down.
“How come?”
Buck looked up from his phone again. “I’ve been reading on Reddit some of the horrors of pregnancy. One discussion even reminded me of this birthing video I had to watch in sex ed in high school. Those are images you can’t unsee.”
Buck’s face scrunched up in disgust at the memory while Eddie just laughed. “I was there for Christopher’s birth. Believe me, you quickly forget all that stuff once you’re holding your child in your arms.”
A dreamy smile split across Buck’s face. “I can’t wait to hold our baby in my arms.”
Eddie couldn’t wait either.
It had been a relatively short, but bumpy road to get to where they were now in regards to growing their family.
At first they discussed if they wanted to adopt or have a kid of their own. Eddie was in the surrogacy camp if Buck would father the child. He couldn’t deny the world a mini-version of the man who gave selflessly to others.
Buck was in the same camp, but wanted Eddie to do it instead. He was afraid of passing on the unwanted Buckley genes.
To avoid arguing further, they agreed to explore adoption and went so far as to certify as foster parents.
After that six month process was complete, Maddie and Chim took Buck and Eddie on a double date to celebrate. It wasn’t until this moment that Buck fully opened up to his sister about their early arguments about possibly using a surrogate and who would father the child.
To say Maddie was furious was an understatement. After giving Buck a dressing down about having such a low opinion of himself, she told him not to base his self worth on the shortcomings of their parents. She also reminded him that he had two beautiful nieces who proved his theory wrong.
Then she turned serious and reached over to grab one of his and Buck’s hands. “If you do decide to find a surrogate, I’d be honored to carry the baby for you.”
Eddie remembered his jaw dropped, but still found the words to thank her because Buck had started crying silently.
Feeling sheepish and fully chastised, Buck wasn’t himself for a couple days after that. Eddie could sense his husband's thoughts were waging an internal battle. He’d become unusually quiet—something he never was—and he let Eddie take on more of the day-to-day tasks that Buck was always quick to split 50/50. He seemed hyper-focused on the people and conversations around him. Eddie caught him at work staring at various co-workers as if he was trying to understand them in a new way.
He was willing to give Buck all the time he needed to draw the same conclusions about himself that Maddie had basically slapped him in the face with. Eddie knew how special his husband was, but the person who really needed to believe it was Buck.
It wasn’t until they were straightening up the house after putting Christopher to bed a couple nights later that Buck finally admitted he had always wanted a biological child—not that he wouldn’t love all their children equally, be they his or Eddie’s or neither biologically—but his parents had did a number on him that he just hadn’t thought a family was in the cards.
Without realizing it, he had created a life that was filled with people he loved and loved him in return. People who would drop everything in a heartbeat to support him. He had a career that fulfilled him and he was actually good at it. He had a husband who was his other half and a son who awed him with his tenacious spirit.
His past had not negatively defined his present, despite some missteps along the way, but he certainly wasn’t going to let his past dictate the future he wanted. And he wanted to father their child.
Eddie had been elated at the news. He wanted Buck to experience the same joy he had when he first held Christopher in his arms—-the joy of knowing this tiny human was a part of him.
Now, just that morning, they’d found out Maddie was pregnant. Seeing the tears of happiness run down Buck’s face at the news had made Eddie’s heart flutter.
“I need to call Maddie.”
“Why? It’s nearly 10. She might be in bed.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. I want to talk to her about making a pregnancy pact.”
“Pregnancy pact?” Eddie was thoroughly confused.
“Yeah. I figure since she’s taking all the health risk without getting the reward, I could try to simulate whatever pregnancy effects she is having. It’s my way of letting her know she’s not alone the next nine months.”
His heart managed to flutter again. “You’re amazing.”
Buck leaned over and gently kissed Eddie. “I love you.”
Eddie made a little sigh. “I love you too.”
Buck leaned back to his side of the bed and became distracted by his phone again.
“So...are you going to blame your gas on the simulated pregnancy now instead of our imaginary dog?” He sent a big, teasing grin towards Buck.
“Oh, you!” Buck said affronted and hit Eddie in the face with his pillow.
Eddie’s laughter was muffled as Buck jumped fully on top of him and continued to shove the pillow in his face.