Work Text:
One day in 1871, Phillip finds an unusual looking object on his desk that has a keyboard, mouse and screen attached via cables to a small box which the screen was standing on…
‘What is this thing?’ he thought when he sat down in front of the desk and pressed a big, circular button on the front of the box, ‘Maybe if I press this button, something will happen.’
As expected (to people two centuries in the future, a.k.a the 21st century), the screen lit up and showed that different components of the system were being loaded or initialized, before changing to the login screen.
‘How do I move the white arrow thingy to the picture?’ Phillip thought as he tried every key on the keyboard, which eventually resulted in the system restarting, before he unintentionally placed his hand on the mouse, causing it to move.
‘That’s more like it’, he thought when he unintentionally clicked on the picture, which ironically did not request a password to log in to the account, ‘About time this…’
Suddenly, the start-up sound blared at full volume from the speakers built into the bottom of the screen, causing Phillip to fall off his chair in shock.
‘P…please don’t eat m…me!’ he begged as he stood up and nervously sat back in the chair, ‘I…I’m sure I d…don’t taste g…great!’
Just then, an anti-virus program commenced a full scan of the computer.
‘How the heck can a typewriter combined with a gramophone and a framed painting catch a cold or other illness?’ Phillip thought as the percentage of files scanned slowly neared 100%.
Fifteen minutes later…
‘No viruses or other malware found’, the message that appeared after the scan completed said.
‘Thank you, Doctor Whoever-you-are”, Phillip said, ‘And what in tarnation is malware? It must be some sort of deadly disease.’
A few seconds later, he moved the cursor to a picture of a disc and a small toolbox and clicked on it, causing another message to appear.
‘Please insert a disc into the disc drive’, it said as the disc tray opened.
‘This thing is far too small for a record to fit on!’, he thought, ‘There’s not even an arm, needle or spindle on or anywhere near here!’
It was then he noticed an open CD case beside the computer box that contained a green CD inside, so he took it out and placed it in the tray, which closed automatically.
During the next couple of minutes, the disc writing program that he had inadvertently started showed a file containing his name before writing it onto the disc.
‘Now burning: Phillip Carlyle.txt’, the message that appeared said.
‘AAAHHH!’ a terrified Phillip screamed before he ran for the door, ‘I don’t want to be burned…again!’
While running up the hall, he tripped over a big metal bucket, casing a loud clanging sound as it bounced off the walls a few times before Anne burst through her door to see what was going on.
‘Phillip!’ she said, ‘Are you all right? I heard you screaming down there, followed by a loud clanging noise.’
‘We need to get out of here!’ Phillip said, ‘Someone wants to set fire to me!’
‘And who might that be?’ Anne asked.
‘Uh…’ Phillip replied, ‘A typewriter…yes, the typewriter in my bedroom.’
‘Don’t be an idiot, Phillip’, Anne said, ‘You’re obviously having a bad dream.’
‘But I swear…even the painting above showed a message that said, “Now burning: Phillip Carlyle”’, Phillip said.
Suddenly, there was the sound of beeps coming from behind the door down the hall.
‘Come on, Phillip’, Anne said, ‘Let’s go and see what’s making that noise.’
A few seconds later…
‘What the?’ Phillip thought when he noticed a message on the screen stating that the HDD (Hard Disk Drive) had failed due to the vibration caused when he slammed the door, ‘What the heck is an HDD?’
‘Beats me’, Anne said, ‘It must be a new component in newer model typewriters.’
Suddenly, a message appeared that shocked them both.
‘Now terminating: Phillip Carlyle.txt’ it said before Anne ran up the hall and brought back the half-empty bucket of water.
‘This ought to put a stop to this’, she said as she threw the water and the bucket itself at the computer, causing a shower of sparks and knocking it to the floor.
‘Thank you for eliminating this evil typewriter’, Phillip said, ‘If you hadn’t been here to help, I surely would have died.’
‘Hey’, Anne said, ‘Since you’ve been through so much tonight, how’s about I spend the rest of the night in here with you?’
‘Yes’, Phillip said, ‘Or, better still, how’s about we spend it together?’
‘That’s what I already mentioned, Phillip’, Anne said when she rolled her eyes.
‘You know what?’ Phillip said, ‘I could stay up until sunrise just by looking at you.’
‘I’m sure you could’, Anne said after a few long seconds of thinking about what he had just said, ‘You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?’
‘Well, there’s quite a bit of time until sunrise, and I’m not just the ringmaster down at the circus either’, Phillip said.
‘What are you waiting for then, Phillip?’ Anne said as she sat on the bed, ‘Let me take you to dazzling new heights!’
…and they did.
The End!