Chapter Text
oikawa added kenma, futakuchi, suga, kageyama, akaashi, atsumu, yahaba, shirabu, and semi to the pretty setter squad
suga: this is such a bad idea
oikawa: *great
kenma: um how did u get all of our numbers
oikawa: and that’s one secret i’ll never tell
oikawa: xoxo, gossip girl
atsumu: based off those two texts alone i already know that i will be bullying you a lot
oikawa: im going to ignore that bc i dont want negative vibes in this chat considering i JUST MADE IT
futakuchi: hi so why am i here lmao
oikawa: no offense but i didn’t wanna deal with ur setter
oikawa: so congrats u r now an honorary setter
futakuchi: i feel like as his senpai i should stick up for him but that’s completely fair
kageyama: is he good yet
futakuchi: wym
kageyama: like has he gotten better at volleyball or does he still suck
suga: KAGEYAMA
atsumu: so much for keeping negative vibes away from this chat lmao
kageyama: but suga-san it’s a valid question
suga: look what you’ve done oikawa i told u this was a bad idea
futakuchi: i feel obligated to say yes
futakuchi: so,,,,yes
oikawa: ok great my reference to gossip girl has obviously turned the tides in this group chat seeing as this is currently turning out to be a literal gossip session
oikawa: so i must confess that there is one thing i literally cant stop thinking abt
oikawa: basically correct me if i’m wrong but i feel like karasuno’s captain is the definition of “and he ordered one black coffee for himself”
kageyama: what
oikawa: https://youtu.be/PTf3gqDcaM0
akaashi: ok true
akaashi: in my case bokuto-san would go into dejected mode™️ until i got him and the kids stuff tho so
akaashi: and he would buy me a black coffee too bc he knows i drink it 24/7
shirabu: i like how u added bokuto to this hypothetical situation
akaashi: i am not ashamed
kenma: of course u arent ashamed ur crush on bokuto is so glaringly obvious that everybody already knows anyway
akaashi: oh my god is it really
akaashi: do u think bokuto-san knows
oikawa: asdfgkhkdhfg wait r u implying that u actually thought u were being discreet
oikawa: like u literally look at him with heart eyes
akaashi: im gonna kms right now stop
kenma: also of course bokuto doesn’t know he’s literally the most oblivious person to exist
kageyama: on a different note coffee that doesn’t have milk in it is a sin
yahaba: i agree 100%
oikawa: black coffee is great and u guys are just pussies
semi: ^^
kenma: ^^^
futakuchi: ^^^^^
atsumu: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
yahaba: alright enjoy ur hot bean water u heathens
shirabu: anyway i also have one
shirabu: kageyama: *exists* , oikawa: attachment.jpg
oikawa: tbh yeah
kageyama: :(
semi: how could u he is so precious i want to protect him
oikawa: PRECIOUS??!?
shirabu: PRECIOUS???!
shirabu: he beat us
shirabu: his team literally stole ur last chance to go to nationals
oikawa: i’m triggered by that statement alone but agree
kageyama: :(
semi: but guys look at him
suga: ok he can be precious i’ll admit
suga: a demon sometimes but also precious
kageyama: :)
semi: ok great it’s official suga and i have now created the kageyama protection squad and we are both co-founders as well as co-presidents
suga: and we are recruiting members
yahaba: i will join as well seeing as apparently he is the only civilized person here and drinks his coffee with milk
kageyama: i don’t completely understand whats going on but thanks everyone
kageyama:
kageyama: :)
akaashi: attachment.jpg
oikawa: well i for one refuse to acknowledge the existence of this group
kageyama: but nobody asked you to?
kenma: oh my GOD
futakuchi: not completely sure if kageyama asked bc he’s genuinely confused or if he’s just being a little shit but either way i absolutely agree
akaashi: ^
atsumu: everytime oikawa is insulted i gain a year on my life
suga: oikawa: *insults or makes fun of kageyama* , the universe: attachment.jpg
oikawa: ( ＾◡＾)っ✂
suga: hey dont blame me for telling it like it is
suga: me 🤝 the universe
shitting on oikawa for insulting kageyama
oikawa: this attack on my being is,,,too much
atsumu: wow at the rate this is going im going to be immortal within the next 24 hours
9:46pm- the pretty setter squad
shirabu: uh does anyone have their shit together
yahaba: no
shirabu: i didnt even specify
yahaba: no
shirabu: ok u right
suga: im going to take a shot in the dark and say ur talking abt our love lives or smthn
suga: in which case, if we’re including other volleyball players and not just us, i actually have an answer
suga: asahi and noya
oikawa: ur glass-hearted ace could NEVER
suga: noya stormed up to him at the end of practice one day and just started making out with him
kageyama: oh yeah i remember that
kageyama: daichi-san was very angry
kageyama: and it was a rly good thing takeda-sensei and coach had gone home already
suga: true
atsumu: damn that must’ve been hot
oikawa: lmao y’all r a mess
atsumu: shut up like u haven’t u been pining for ur best friend since u were like 8
yahaba: so far every single time atsumu has said something its purpose has been to wreck oikawa and i’m Thriving
oikawa: pls don't insult me before 8am
atsumu: but its so easy to insult u i have so many things to choose from
yahaba: im dying this is the best
oikawa: attachment.jpg
oikawa: i feel like we need to establish some Rules, a maximum of three that are subject to change besides the most important one which is as follows:
oikawa: number 1: insulting me (oikawa) between the hours 12:01am and midnight are strictly prohibited
akaashi: i guarantee this rule will never be followed
oikawa: ok first of all fuck u
oikawa: second of all i thought that was bokuto’s job
akaashi:
akaashi: the real rule number one: oikawa needs to stay in his lane between the hours of 12:01am and midnight
futakuchi: what a savage
futakuchi: also i 100% agree with this rule
kageyama: same
yahaba: kjaghksldjfgh im SCREAMING kageyama is literally killing me
semi: rule number two: love and protect kageyama at all costs
suga: now this is a rule i can get behind
kageyama: so blessed. so moved. so grateful. cant believe this is my life. never going to take it for granted. always going to give back. thank you
akaashi: um
akaashi: did he just
oikawa: TOBIO-CHAN JUST MEMED
suga: this is the best day
shirabu: y do none of u act this way in real life
kenma: we have images to uphold ok
yahaba: ANYWAY, here is what i propose to be the third rule: maintain good sportsmanship
yahaba: i mean like don’t hold grudges or be mad when one of our teams beats another or smthn
futakuchi: wow shit just got serious real quick
futakuchi: but i absolutely agree
suga: kageyama and i do too
semi: so do shirabu and i
atsumu: ^^
kenma: ^^^
akaashi: ^^^^
oikawa: WAIT WAIT WAIT before rule number two and three get written into law i have one thing to say
oikawa: @kageyama fuck u for all the reverse setter dumps
oikawa: ok now i agree
shirabu: i already agreed to this rule but off-book ^^
kageyama: :(
yahaba: i now declare this rule official
oikawa: great whatever now back to my original point
oikawa: why am i getting the vibe that all the liberos have their shit together bc it makes no sense
suga: lmao doubt it who tf else
futakuchi: as annoying as it is to admit koganegawa and sakunami do
oikawa: that clumsy ass setter?? and that adorable angel?? as the fuck if
futakuchi: i wish i was lying
futakuchi: it’s actually awful to witness they’re literally a married couple it’s so sappy and gross
futakuchi: sakunami stares at koganegawa with these adorable little heart eyes all the time and holds his hand when we’re at tournaments so he doesn’t get lost
futakuchi: and koganegawa gives him fucking forehead kisses
oikawa: that’s gross
oikawa: i want it
akaashi: same
shirabu: gotta be honest some of shiratorizawa actually has their shit together
semi: oh yeah u and ushijima totally have ur shit together
shirabu: oh yeah u and tendou totally have ur shit together
semi: ok valid
yahaba: uh then who
shirabu: kawanishi and goshiki
oikawa: ok that’s actually cute as fuck
suga: ^^
akaashi: ^^^
yahaba: ^^^^
kageyama:
kageyama: ^^^^^
suga: kageyama i’m discovering so many different sides of u in this group chat and i love it
shirabu: semi don’t say a Word but i’m warming up to u kageyama u aren’t too bad
yahaba: oh same especially bc sometimes oikawa-senpai’s eye twitches when kageyama is mentioned so i personally enjoy kageyama a lot
kageyama: i'm just going to ignore everything in that sentence besides “i personally enjoy kageyama a lot”
shirabu: yes totally warming up to him
oikawa: i decline to comment at this time
8:09pm - the pretty setter squad
oikawa: I HAVE NO FEAR
suga: straight iwaizumi
oikawa: I HAVE ONE FEAR
kageyama: wait aren’t u afraid of spiders too
kageyama: so that means u technically have more than one fear
semi: kageyama is killing me i
atsumu: fun drinking game: take a shot every time someone insults oikawa
futakuchi: we would die
oikawa: WHAT DO U GUYS HAVE AGAINST ME
oikawa: and u just broke one of the Rules
oikawa: also fuck u tobio-chan
kageyama: but didn’t we also just go over the rules
suga: kageyama u do realize ur the one that broke the rule in the first place right
yahaba: wait oikawa-san just broke the second rule so like don’t forget him
atsumu: *takes shot*