Chapter Text
The unexpected thunderstorm played havoc with Merlin's vision as the cab maneuvered slowly through Cardiff's sodden, traffic-snarled streets. His nose itched, and he longed to open the window; the lingering stench from a former passenger's stag do wasn't helping his mood. He stared out through the window into the night, the lights they passed shimmering from the rain or maybe because of his watering eyes.
The day had been a real pisser, and he was getting sick, though the cold he'd picked up in London couldn't be fully blamed for the throbbing in his head and the panicked pounding of his heart. Life kinda sucked right now, and he wasn't sure he really cared.
"Visiting Cardiff?"
Merlin glanced toward the cabbie, startled out of his thoughts. "No," he said. "I live here. Just been away to London."
The cabbie chuckled. "Won't bother with apologies about the weather then." The cabbie looked at him again in the dirty rear-view mirror. He adjusted it with greasy fingers, lifting an eyebrow when he caught Merlin's gaze. "You'd be the lad what runs the old comic shop down at the quay now, yeah?"
Merlin looked away, nodding, but died a little inside. "It was my uncle's." Close enough.
"Spent more than a few quid there as a lad." He chuckled again.
A ghost of a smile flickered past Merlin's lips, though he remained cold and shivery and gloomy. Very gloomy. His mobile chirped at him from his pocket. He hesitated, fingers playing with a rip in the seat and fought the rush of hope. It wouldn't be who he wanted anyway, so he pulled it out, glanced at the text message. Please come. Miss you. Gwen. He couldn't help the disappointment, though he knew Gwen meant well.
A party. He so did not feel like going to a party. Shoving his mobile into his jacket pocket, his hand still gripping it, he warred with himself--go home to his empty Will-less flat, or to Gwen's. The first beckoned him hard. He wanted nothing more than to wallow in his despair and frustration even though two days of doing that in London already hadn't helped any. The second? He wouldn't be alone so he couldn't easily mope, though being surrounded by strangers didn't appeal much.
Either way, he was fucked. Might as well get pissed. There'd be free beer at Gwen's at least, even if it was just Brains.
"Pardon me," Merlin said. The cabbie glanced at the rear-view mirror. "I'd rather be dropped off on Plas Panir, if you will."
"Sure thing, mate. Have to double-back--"
"How much more?"
"Five, six quid."
Merlin thumbed through the bills left in his wallet, muttering. "Brilliant."
"Penarth Portway work? About the same as the flat."
"Cheers."
The cabbie nodded, took a sharp right. Merlin had to grab his backpack to keep it from tumbling to the floorboard. Settling back, he stared out the window again, trying not to think how no, it really wasn't fine, not at all. He had less than twenty quid in his wallet and not much more than that in the bank. He'd end up walking all the way home from Gwen's. In the rain. What was a little cold? Might as well go for pneumonia.
A few minutes later, his backpack heavy in his hand, Merlin watched the cab as it drove off, pretty much wishing he had gone home after all. He was still quite a few blocks from Gwen's. Any closer though, and he wouldn't have had enough to pay the fare, and still eat tomorrow. He hitched his backpack onto his shoulder, adjusted his jacket and glared up at the streetlight, the misty rain drifting down sporadically now, then started to walk.
The streets here were quiet, just a few cars passing by as he headed down the block. After a few minutes the rain finally let up though the sea air was cold and wet and it might as well have been raining still. He didn't get to this part of Penarth often anymore, not since Gwen and Lance had moved in together. He'd introduced them, and at times regretted it, as Will didn't like Lance much. Probably because Merlin had liked Lance. Who wouldn't?
Lance was, well, Lance. Gorgeous, caring, supportive Lance. Hot. The perfect boyfriend, really.
Everything Will had once been. Except for the straight part.
He shook his head, forcing the morose thoughts out. At least now he wouldn't have to deal with Will's weird jealousy. He'd really missed Gwen, too. He picked up his pace. He could hear music over the damp breeze as at last he turned the corner for Gwen's flat. He glanced up to the second floor of the complex, scanning the balconies for Gwen's. Sure enough, her balcony door was open, music belched out loud and clear over the street.
Some bloke walked out onto the balcony and braced against the rail, hands spread wide, his fit body silhouetted against the light. The wind ruffled his hair as he brushed it back with one hand to no avail. Merlin wondered idly who it was but it was work friends at Gwen's, and as far as he knew only a couple were the type to catch his eye. This wasn't one of them.
A car beeped at him. Merlin jumped out of the way as its tyres hit a puddle; he wasn't fast enough, and endured a sharp frigid splash. "Hey now," he called out as water soaked into his shoes, his denims. He would be completely drenched by the time he got under cover. He should've gone straight home, he'd be in bed all alone by now if he had.
He hitched his backpack up higher, was about to make a dash for Gwen's when an odd rustling in the bushes to his right made him pause.
"Hello? Who's there?" he said out loud to the empty street. He glanced up to the balcony; the blond bloke had disappeared.
No answer, save for a low keening sound. A cat? Strangled one maybe. The sound came again, tightening his chest. A shiver ran through him. Just cold. That only worked for a second as the keening came again, low and deep and threatening now, rolling into a growl that wasn't a growl really but still, gave the undeniable impression of one. It rumbled along his spine and straight into his chest, sucking the breath from him. It was big, whatever it was.
A dog? It growled. He clenched his hands. A very big dog. Had to be. He refused to believe it could be anything else.
Except it didn't sound like a dog.
He stood stock still, waiting, his foggy breath loud in his ears. The bushes rustled again, this time farther along. A shape appeared in the shadows to his left. It shimmered, undulated even, blacker than black, yet reflected the light from the overhead streetlight. He blinked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Rereading Rom on the train had been a mistake. The shadow shape streaked past Merlin, not three metres from where he stood. It was big, black and fast, and whatever it was chasing took off, keening and rushing through the bushes.
Its strange cry escalated, cut into the night. Dropping his backpack he covered his ears, his skull splitting from the shrieking sound.
The shriek stopped, stark silence left behind. Sucking in his breath and wide-eyed, head pounding, Merlin shook his head, not daring to move. He
glanced up at the balcony but it was empty, as was the street. No one else was around, no one else had seen it or heard it except for himself.
"Merlin, you came after all," Gwen said, opening the door wider, and motioning him in.
Merlin opened his mouth to say hi, but turned back toward the dark outside. He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb. 'did you just hear something-- "
Gwen shook her head, puzzled. "No? What do you mean?"
"Nothing. I thought--" He shook his head. Maybe he'd imagined it. Which of course was ridiculous. "Never mind."
She pulled him inside. "Come on inside, get that jacket off. You're soaked."
"Rain will do that." Merlin smiled wanly as he followed her into the flat, closing the door behind him. He dropped his backpack on the floor and, dripping, pulled off his jacket. She handed him a towel which he took gratefully and rubbed it over his head and face, back of his neck.
Music and laughter greeted him; maybe this hadn't been a good idea after all. Parties had never been high on his list for entertainment, but the thought of going back home to his empty flat just yet appealed far, far less. Gwen hung up his coat, though it dripped onto her tile floor.
"Here, give me that," she said, taking the towel from him. She ran it over his jacket, then dropped the towel under it. "You okay?" At his nod she hugged him. "I wasn't sure you would come."
"Got home from London earlier than I expected."
She raised an eyebrow at him as she hung up his coat. "How did it go?"
He knew that she would ask that. On the way home, as he sat backwards on the train--he hated being backwards, made him feel queasy--he'd rehearsed different lines in answer to her question. To everyone's inevitable questions.
Everything's great! Will's just going to stay on in London for a while, or No problems, Will's just going to come home next week. Maybe. Or, oh nothing's up, Will thought he'd just poke around London a tad bit longer, apply for a few things. Doesn't expect anything to come of it, he'll be coming home in a few days...
All made up, of course. None of those things had taken place. And, as he looked into Gwen's eyes, the knowing look, he knew he couldn't lie.
"He's staying on in London."
She sighed. "Oh Merlin," she said, touching his arm. "I'm sorry. I was hoping--"
"I know, me too," he said, pushing past her into the room. He just couldn't talk about it, not yet. Not ever maybe. "Got any beer? I could use one."
"Of course. Go on upstairs, that's where everyone is. I'll bring you a beer." "You don't have to, I can get it."
"Go," she said, pushing him gently toward the stairs. Merlin gave in, and went wearily up the stairs. A dozen or so of Gwen and Lance's friends sat in the dim atmosphere, low conversations spiked with laughter. Candles sat everywhere--Gwen did love those things--and he nodded to a few people he sort of knew in passing, having been dragged to these parties more than once. Most were Gwen's co-workers, but one familiar face popped up from behind her bar, a bunch of straws grasped in his hand.
"Found them! You were right yet again, Gwen."
"Uh," Merlin said, "good?"
"Whoops, thought you were Gwen a second, sorry." He wore a scuffed-up Arsenal shirt, his hair was tousled, and there was a bandage on his temple. Merlin's fingers itched to get his tablet out. Lance's face brightened. "You made it though. I was right about that at least," Lance said to Gwen as she joined them, two beer bottles in one hand. Brains, as always. Merlin sighed.
"The straws were where I said, right?"
Lance bowed. "Yes, m'lady they were indeed." He laughed. "So Merlin. How was Lond--" Merlin tensed. Lance's face fell at Gwen's quick shake of her head. Lance looked from Gwen to him, nodding slowly, squinching up his face. "Ah, I see." He pulled one straw out of the bunch, brandishing it toward Merlin. "Want me to have a go at him? Force him to come to his senses--"
"No. No, it's--" Merlin shrugged, taking the proffered bottle from Gwen. "It's okay. Really." He smiled, hoping he was convincing, but he knew Gwen at least wasn't fooled. 'really. It's good, all good. Now I can--" He waved a hand toward the room, then sagged against the bar. Could what? Pick up a quick shag? Not exactly the type.
"Explore your options," Lance finished for him. He grinned. "There's a few who might help take your mind off your woes." He clapped Merlin on the shoulder, nearly knocking him off-balance, nearly making him spill his beer. "Play the field, yeah? Enjoy yourself. I can help you with that."
Gwen rolled her eyes. "Or okay maybe not."
"Yeah, explore my options. Remind me to avoid any football players," Merlin said, rubbing his shoulder. Lance laughed; Merlin forced a grin. He turned his attention to his beer, grateful that Gwen and Lance started going on about the straws again. He tilted the bottle back, welcoming the cold trickle down his throat.
Forgotten now, Lance and Gwen having moved on from straws to snogs. Unable to resist, he wandered over to his backpack and pulled out his drawing pens and a sketchbook. He found an empty bar stool and sat to drink his beer, sketch a bit. He opened it up to a new page, taking another swig of his beer, and glanced over at his friends.
He watched them for a moment, holding his sketch pad to his chest. They were oblivious of course, totally lost in each other, Gwen reaching up to touch the plane of Lance's face, the bandage. Merlin froze that moment in his mind and turned back to his drawing pad, quickly sketching the basics down. He didn't need to do much; he'd been blessed with a vivid memory, could fill out the rest later by simple recall.
He paused as another image flashed through his mind--the creature he'd seen. He started a new page, held his pen over the paper--how could he capture something that had no form? Shaking his head he gave up, sat back unnoticed. He'd faded into the background as surely as that shimmering creature had into the night.
Everyone else was talking and having a good time--there were several in chairs around a table, the candles flickering on it casting dancing shadows on their faces. A couple of blokes stood on the balcony, overlooking the bay, one of them gesturing wildly with his hands, making the other laugh.
Neither was the one he'd seen earlier.
He looked around, scanning the faces, unsure now who it could've been. Two girls he knew noticed him and waved--Rebecca and Janie, who often came to his comic shop. Or had, when he'd been able to afford to stock the indie comics they'd liked. Now his remaining inventory was plain pitiful, the leftovers likely destined for the scrap heap eventually.
Someone changed the music, turning it up a little. "Is that okay Gwen?" Gwen made a 'turn down a bit' motion and he did, smiling at her then at Merlin. Nice looking chap. Wasn't the balcony bloke though.
Gwen caught his eye, nodding toward him. "Go talk to him, why don't you?"
Merlin watched the bloke as he settled down on a chair, and immediately started talking to one of the girls about the musicians playing. "He's taken," Merlin said.
"That's his sister, silly. And no, I have it on good authority he's available. And, is a teacher."
"You're already trying to set me up with someone, aren't you?" He settled on one of her bar stools, tipped back more of his brew. "It's not official."
She gave him that look again. "Merlin, honey. Really, you're...."
"I'm what? You can say what you think, Gwen." He grimaced. "I've likely said it already to myself."
"What, you're better off without him?" He shrugged. "Well, okay I think you are. You deserve someone kind to you, and who believes in all you want, you know?"
"Shares my dreams, all hearts and unicorns?" Merlin shook his head. "That kind of person doesn't exist."
"I used to think that too," she said as Lance walked up and joined them. He bent down and kissed Gwen's forehead.
"What you guys talking about?"
"Merlin's Prince Charming."
Lance looked around the room. "Which one is he?"
Merlin glanced around the room, shaking his head then stopped. There was a blond-headed man standing by himself, looking out at the water. It was him. He had a beer bottle in his hand, but as Merlin watched him, he didn't move. Just kept looking out across the bay, like he wasn't really seeing the shimmering lights across the water.
"Who is that?" Merlin asked, setting his beer down on the counter.
Lance shrugged. "I don't know actually."
Gwen looked puzzled. "He came with Rebecca, I think."
Well, so much for that. Her date then, but not a very sociable one. At that moment the bloke turned and looked at him--Merlin froze, damn. He hadn't meant to be caught staring like that. His face heated, his breath caught and the last of his chill disappeared in a pleasant rush of heat. Had to be the beer.
Except it was Brains. He couldn't look away, his fingers fumbling with the tablet stylus but he stopped, transfixed. The stranger didn't move for a moment, his gaze intent, interested. Merlin rubbed his free hand on his denims and looked down at his tablet for a second. When he glanced back, the stranger'd turned his back again, was leaning on his elbows and looking straight down into the parking lot. Merlin let his breath out in a rush.
Merlin gulped the last of his beer, eyeing Gwen over it, but thankfully she had turned her attention to her boyfriend. He quickly sketched the bloke's face, the corner of his mouth tugging up in excitement. The guy exuded something, he realised, something...commanding. Biting his lip and making sure no one was watching, he finished quickly, getting enough down to fill in later.
Gwen turned around and he snapped his tablet shut. She frowned, then saw his tablet and smiled. "Always drawing. Can I see?"
He pulled it tight to his chest. "No, not yet."
"Why not?"
"Um--" he smiled. "It's a picture of you and Lance. I'll finish it and email it to you."
"Thanks, Merlin," she said, beaming happily. He couldn't help but smile back--and glance over her shoulder, hoping the mysterious bloke would come inside. But then what if he did? Merlin took a deep breath, shaking himself. "So, what else is going on with you?"
He wasn't much good at small talk, even with Gwen. "Not much. Guess I'll be pretty busy for a while."
"Doing what?"
He snorted softly. "Cleaning Will's stuff out."
She winced, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He reached up and touched her hand, hating being put into the role of comforter, but he knew that would happen. "Anything going on here I should know about?"
She grabbed another stool and sat next to him, her eyes widening, face eager. "Yes, actually. There's been another murder."
He hadn't expected that. "What are you talking about? Who?"
Gwen had always liked the macabre. "Two blokes Lance works with were in Butetown and were attacked the other day. Said something chased them. They got away."
"W-w-ait," he said, grabbing her arm. "Chased? By what?" A dog he hoped, not something dark and fierce and frightening.
Her eyes danced. "That's just it. They couldn't describe it." She leaned closer to him. "They say it was a monster."
"There's no such thing as monsters anymore," he said, laughing nervously.
She sat back, hands in her lap. "I know, I know, the last dragon was killed a century ago."
"They didn't say it was a dragon did they?" He certainly hadn't seen a dragon.
"No, silly. But they did insist they saw a monster. And later, a body was found, mangled, right where they'd been."
Damn. He bit his lip, a shiver rippling through him. But there were no monsters anymore. Everything magical, including werewolves, had been killed in the early 1500's. There'd also been no sorcerers since. His hand tingled at the thought; he squeezed it into a fist.
"Hey, want another beer?"
He shook his head at Gwen, "Sorry. If you don't mind, I think I'm going to head out after all," he said, standing. "I'm pretty tired, and I have to be up early to open the shop."
"Tournament day?" Lance asked, his attention back on them. He grinned at Merlin's nod. "All the little monsters descending upon you while their gleeful parents take off a few hours of total bliss?" Lance slowly shook his head. "Man, you should charge them. You could make a mint."
"I don't mind," he said, as he had said a thousand times before. Lance sounded like Will. He shrugged that thought off and headed for the door, casting a glance back over the room. The stranger was still alone, back to leaning against the rail, back to looking contemplative.
"I'll be by around three," Gwen said, following him. Lance fell away. She pulled his coat from the rack, handing it to him. "Are you sure you're okay, Merlin? I hate that you're alone--"
"I'm fine, I promise." He hugged her, grabbed his backpack and shoved his tablet back inside, making sure it was secure. The way his luck was going lately, if he lost that too, he might as well give up completely. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Thanks for the beer."
He pulled open the door to find another couple of girls had arrived. More people he didn't know. Maybe that would be one good thing about not being with Will anymore. He'd have time to make some new friends. Will didn't like to share much which was, of course, ironic, since he was the one who claimed their relationship was suffocating him.
Making his escape, Merlin hurried down the steps, and stopped at the bottom to pull on his jacket. Somehow, though he hadn't been inside that long, the skies had cleared. Stars twinkled through the clouds, happy in their world.
He wished he was happy in his own.