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Hiroki was fast asleep, unmoving like a corpse. He didn't hear Tsukasa creep into his room. He would have given him an earful if he saw Tsukasa out of bed, when he was supposed to rest. He always worried so much for Tsukasa, he was so sweet.
Tsukasa sat beside his bed, cautious not to make any noise. Hiroki was sleeping on his back, head leaning back into the pillow. His lips were parted and his nose whistled a little as he was breathing. His fringe was in his eyes, touching and pushing against his eyelashes. Tsukasa carefully pulled the hair away with his finger. Hiroki's eyes moved a bit under his eyelids, but quickly settled and returned to dreaming.
Tsukasa pushed his luck and caressed Hiroki's cheek with the back of his fingers. His skin was so soft. Hiroki was a deep sleeper, but in the years they've lived together he did manage to catch Tsukasa watching him a few times. Tsukasa would motivate it by claiming he couldn't sleep and that he was debating whether or not to bother Hiroki by joining him in bed, waking him up as well. It wasn't a complete lie in the moment. Tsukasa would rather sit awake all night and watch Hiroki, than have another nightmare with Mr Hayashi. The human mind is difficult. It doesn't do as we'd like. Tsukasa couldn't just put behind him everything that happened and focus solely on Hiroki, and even if he managed, what he swept under the rug would crawl back out at night, in his sleep, when the mind was most open and vulnerable.
And so he stood awake and watched Hiroki. It was calming. Grounding. Hiroki made him feel better, just with his presence. Tsukasa ran the tip of his finger along his eyelashes, admiring their length and density. He wished he could look at Hiroki's eyes too, stare into their beautiful colour, their vivacity, their cheerfulness.
Hiroki stirred in his sleep and made a little groan. Tsukasa shushed him gently, placing a hand on his head, petting his hair. “Shhh, shhh shhh…” Tsukasa said, voice low and tender, close to his ear. “Sleep, Hiroki, sleep...”
Hiroki stood still, relaxing again.
“Good boy...” He continued, unable to hold himself, kissing Hiroki's cheek. He just had to pucker his lips to reach him. “Sleep and be at ease. I’ll be right here.” He kissed him again. “There’s a good boy, my dear boy...”
Tsukasa continued peppering kisses on his cheek and temple. Hiroki, who was in a half-awake, half-asleep state - sort of there, but unaware of his surroundings, who he was and what was real – was feeling an ache in his throat and his cheeks felt a little warmer. He was on the verge of falling into deep sleep again, but clung to the state he was in to continue the dream he was having. The voice was telling him to do just that, but it would have meant no longer hearing being called “good boy” in a soft, quiet voice, full of love.
“Good boy, such a good boy…” The voice would say. “I love you so much…”
Hiroki leaned his head against the lips kissing him, yet to realise they were real and not a vivid creation of his mind. Tsukasa kissed him a few more times, then retreated, as to not push it too far. How real a dream feels has it's limits, and Hiroki wasn't that oblivious.
Tsukasa got up and crept back in his own room, minding not to make any noise as he lied back in bed.