Chapter Text
Nicholas was having trouble focusing nowadays.
It was odd. There were times when he couldn’t think about anything but the job. The next case, the next problem in need of solving. It was a pressure in his chest, a constant ache he couldn’t seem to alleviate.
How, then, he struggled to pay attention to it now?
Things are slow, he thought. It had been nearly a year since the fiasco with the NWA. Things were so hectic back then. He remembered those long nights where sleep would never come, his eyelids heavy and his chest tight. He remembered what it felt like to fail. To let people down.
Danny was hospitalized for weeks. Nicholas didn’t visit right at first. He couldn’t shake the guilt. That bullet was meant for him, not Danny. Danny should’ve been awake, smiling and laughing and at Nick’s side like he was always meant to be there.
It was Andy Cartwright who convinced him to finally show his face.
The station was demolished, of course, but the police couldn’t rest. As soon as Nick was released from the hospital for his own injuries, he headed straight to the library, where the temporary station was set up. There was a mountain of paperwork to be done, and a village to piece back together. For days, he hardly left, desperate to keep his mind away from what he had caused.
On the third day after Nicholas was released from the hospital, shortly before the library was going to close, Cartwright came into the storage room Nicholas was using as his ‘office.’ He leaned against the door frame, a crisp pair of black shades covering his judgemental eyes.
“Go and see him, you wanker.”
Nicholas opened his mouth to say something, but the words didn’t come. What was he supposed to say? If it were not for him, Danny wouldn’t even be in the hospital right now.
“I… I can’t,” he finally settled on, feeling the knot in his stomach wind even tighter. He didn’t want to talk about this, especially not with one of the Andes. He wanted to go far away and drown himself in coffee and paperwork and regret.
“Uh, yeah you can,” the detective said, taking a couple steps toward the desk. He didn’t seem overly thrilled to be talking to Nicholas either, but he had a point and he was going to make it, whether Nicholas liked it or not.
“How do you think Danny’s gonna feel when he wakes up and you’re not there?”
Nicholas swallowed. “I―”
“Don’t be a twat. You’ll regret not being there. We all know you will, so hurry the fuck up and go see ‘em already,” Cartwright said. He turned away from Nicholas and headed for the door, stopping just once more to say, “He’s not gonna blame you, you idiot.” And with that he was gone, leaving Nicholas alone in the storage closet.
It took him half an hour of sitting with his thoughts before he finally decided fuck it. He jumped up, grabbed his coat, and headed to his apartment. It was a quick stop, but an important one, and before long he was standing in the waiting room of the Sandford Medical Center.
(Two days later, when Danny finally woke up, the first thing he saw was Nicholas. He was passed out in an armchair that had been pushed slightly closer to the bed, with binders full of partially finished paperwork sitting on the floor by his feet. And next to Danny, within arms reach, was a particular stuffed monkey)
Things had gotten a lot better since then. His relationship with the Andes, as well as the rest of the service, had improved. He believed they had something close to a friendship, which had seemed impossible to achieve in the beginning. Chief Inspector was something he had to adjust to, but by now he felt much more confident in his position. And of course, he and Danny were closer than ever. He finally had what he always wanted.
And... yet.
Nicholas could just barely hear Danny’s voice from the other room, a comforting yet bittersweet hum. He could be out there, seeing Danny, and hearing what Danny had to say. Or… maybe Danny could be in here. Just the two of them, in Nick’s office. Maybe Danny would have a coffee in his hand, black with three sugars. There was a chair by the door, but why sit so far away? No, he would walk around to Nicholas’s side of the desk, in his space and under his skin. Nicholas would stand up to greet him, and they would be so close, nearly chest to chest, trapped between the desk and the chair. Danny would look up at Nicholas, like he hung the stars in the sky, and Nicholas would go weak in the knees, and Danny would reach for him―
The shrill ringing from the corner of the desk drew Nicholas out of his thoughts and back into his office, where responsibilities awaited him. He snatched up the phone and answered it before it could ring for a third time.
“Chief Inspector Angel of the Sandford Police Department, how may I be of service?”
It didn’t take long for him to recognize the voice.
“Nicholas! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How’s Sandford?”
Nicholas narrowed his eyes. “Sergeant?”
“Right you are! Listen, I haven’t got long, you know how London is: always busy!”
Nicholas thought about how stagnant things had been lately. He had no doubt that his old Sergeant had chosen his words with care, another little dig at Nicholas for deciding to stay in Sandford.
Danny’s laugh popped into his mind.
“How unfortunate,” Nicholas replied, a small upturn at the corner of his lips.
Sandford might be stagnant, but it was also home, and that was good enough for Nicholas.
“Right,” the Sergeant said, chuckling dryly. “Anyway, we’ve got a favor to ask of you.”
“A favor?”
“A strongly encouraged suggestion, yes.”
A beat of silence passed between them.
Nicholas rolled his eyes. “Well, what is it?”
The Sergeant laughed. “So eager! Good, I’m glad.”
“I thought you were in a hurry―”
“I am, I am! Look, here’s the deal: Pearsbury is looking for backup. They’ve got this case they’re struggling with, some minor thief or something, I don’t remember. Anyway! London’s far too busy for that sort of thing, but after realizing how close it was to Sandford, the Inspector decided you’d be the perfect man for the job. So what do you say?”
Nicholas blinked, assessing the case. He had never been to Pearsbury, but he had heard of it. It wasn’t much larger than Sandford. A minor thief? Why would they need backup for such a thing?
He voiced this concern to the Sergeant, which was met with more laughter.
There were some things he definitely didn’t miss about London.
“No idea! The Pearsbury Inspector says it’ll take a few weeks, but I’m sure you’ll be able to wrap it up before supper. You’ll need to leave tomorrow afternoon, we already told them to be expecting you.”
Nicholas shouldn’t have been surprised.
“Right,” he said, not even bothering to hide the disdain in his voice. “Tomorrow’s a bit soon.”
“Oh? Do you have plans?”
Nicholas opened his mouth to retort, but after a moment, it fell shut. Dammit.
“Do you have their phone number?”
He could hear the smirk in the Sergeant voice when he replied, “Of course!”
Nicholas wrote the number down on a sticky note. He didn’t particularly enjoy taking orders from London, especially when he was technically of a higher ranking than the Sergeant, but he couldn’t deny the bubble of excitement that awoke in his chest.
We have a case.
“Anything else?”
“Oh, we think you should bring another officer with you, someone who’s worked with you before. Probably make things easier. Other than that, have fun!”
“Thanks,” Nicholas replied dryly, and the line went dead.
He took a deep breath. And then another.
So they had a case. Finally. Well, it wasn’t technically theirs, but they were assigned to it, so it was close enough.
Two weeks was a long time to be away from Sandford, but he doubted anything major was going to happen between now and next Christmas, so he wasn’t overly worried.
You should bring another officer with you. But who?
His first choice was obvious, but the thought made Nicholas uneasy. He was sure the rest of the Sandford Police Service had realized his… preference for Danny, but as the Inspector, he had to be impartial. Asking Danny outright would certainly give birth to some chatter. Though, the same thing would probably happen regardless of who he asked. Not only that, but there’s a chance that Danny would feel upset or excluded. Nicholas’s feelings aside, he and Danny were partners, and that still counted for something.
Maybe he would just poll the room and see if anyone was interested and available. With such short notice, he doubted many people would be, and even if they were, Danny was sure to be the most excited. Nicholas doubted any of the other officers were going to try and compete with Danny for the opportunity. None of them really wanted to put in that much effort, anyway.
So it was decided. He would just ask for a volunteer. A volunteer who very well might be Danny.
A few minutes later, when he gathered his thoughts and prepared what he was going to say, Nicholas went into the bullpen. Thatcher and Cartwright were laughing about something in hushed voices. Wainwright was over by the window smoking.
Nicholas narrowed his eyes. Shortly after being promoted to Inspector, he put his foot down about smoking inside. Usually they complied, but every now and then they tested their luck.
“Wainwright—”
In a quick (and clearly anticipated) series of moves, the window was closed, the cigarette was snuffed, and Wainwright’s elbows were propping him up against the window seal. A satisfied smirk was on his face.
“Yes, Inspector? Anything I can do for you today, Inspector?” His tone was sarcastic, but it was clear that he was only poking at Nicholas. He and the Andes still got into tiffs every now and again, but ultimately, they respected and cared for each other.
Nicholas rolled his eyes. “Sit down, detective.”
“If you insist,” Wainwright said, still running on his joke, before pushing himself off the wall and returning to Cartwright’s side.
Nicholas finally took in the rest of the room. Fischer was doing something on his computer, and Walker was asleep. Danny was— Nicholas frowned.
Danny wasn’t there.
“Right,” he said, more to himself than anyone else. It was too late to back out now, he already had everyone’s attention (PC Walker excluded).
“I’ve just been informed that the Pearsbury Police Department is requesting backup on a difficult case. Myself, and one other officer, have been asked to depart tomorrow,” he said, trying to tear his eyes away from Danny’s empty chair. Where had he gone? Wasn’t he just here?
“The trip is expected to last 14 days.”
“14 days? They didn’t give ya much notice, did they,” Thatcher remarked, leaning back in her chair.
Nicholas shook his head. “They did not. I recognize that due to prior commitments, not all of you will be eligible, so I’m just going to ask for a volunteer rather than recommend anyone. I believe you’re all competent officers and any of you could excel in—”
“Busy,” Wainwright said, staring at Nicholas like he was full of shit.
“Sorry mate, but I’ve gotta pass,” Fisher chimed in, looking genuinely apologetic. “The Mrs. would not be too pleased if I jus’ up and left.”
Just like that, less and less officers were available. At some point Walker just got up and wandered out of the room, which was honestly for the best. He looked toward Cartwright, the last one standing, who simply shook his head. He was right then. No one wanted to go.
That leaves—
“Oh come off it, Angel,” Wainwright chastised. “Just ask Danny, we all know you fucking want to.”
“Ask me what?”
Danny was lingering in the doorway, coffee in his hand and Saxon at his feet. He was walking the dog, of course he was.
Nicholas’s skin was uncomfortably warm, the collar of his shirt scratching against his sensitive neck. It was odd, wanting so badly to evade Danny’s gaze, but still begging to capture his attention.
“You and the boss are going on a little trip,” Thatcher said, smirking. The Andes couldn’t seem to hold in their snickers, though they probably weren’t trying to.
“A trip?” Danny asked, perking up a little. He looked over at Nicholas, those hazel brown eyes digging under his skin and making a home for themselves in the back of his mind, where no one else could see.
Nicholas swallowed.
“We’ve been requested as backup by the Pearsbury police department. Myself and one other officer. We leave tomorrow,” he explained, able to keep his voice even despite the way his heart was racing.
“Backup, eh?”
Danny gave Saxon one last pet, and headed towards his desk, which was just a few feet away from where Nicholas was standing. Nicholas tried to quell the butterflies in his stomach, but it was no use. He watched as Danny walked around to the front of the desk and leaned against it, sitting his coffee down beside him. His long sleeves were rolled up to his elbows (the station was kept fairly warm during the cooler months), his hands in his pockets. They were close. No closer than usual, really, but still. It was distracting.
Nicholas cursed the déjà vu.
“Um, indeed. They’re having trouble with an important case, so we’re being sent in,” Nicholas finally said, hoping that the beat of silence in between wasn’t overly noticeable.
“For how long?”
“Two weeks, give or take.”
“Just... us?”
Nick's toes curled uncomfortably. “Yes.”
Danny nodded slowly, eyes downcast.
“Oh.”
Moments passed.
Nicholas clasped his hands behind his back. They were sweating.
‘Oh.’ What does that even mean?
Nicholas would’ve thought that out of anyone, Danny would be the most interested. Even though he knew it was inappropriate to ask Danny directly, he had hoped that Danny would volunteer himself, eager for action.
Idiot. Maybe he just doesn’t want to go with you.
“You don’t have to go, if you don’t want,” Nicholas added, softer this time, painfully aware of the room full of piercing eyes before him, and the sudden tension that had settled in the air.
“Actually,” said Wainwright, “doesn’t look like anyone else is available.” He shrugged, resting his chin in his palms and twisting his lips into a mock pout. “I guess you’re his only hope.”
Cartwright laughed, and clapped him on the shoulder. Not-so-subtle smiles were being exchanged all around the room. Nicholas clenched his jaw, wishing he could just smack Wainwright over the head and tell him to get out of his business. But that would probably confirm all of their suspicions, which was the last thing Nicholas wanted. For now, he refrained.
“Like Luke Skywalker?” Fisher blurted out, and the laughter emanating from the Andies ceased. Danny’s face contorted in disgust, and he whipped around to face the sergeant.
“You mean Obi-wan?”
Fisher’s eyes lit up with realization, and he smiled in embarrassment. “Whoops.”
“Tony, you wanker,” Danny replied, rolling his eyes and chuckling a little.
When Danny turned back toward Nicholas, his expression was unreadable.
“Sure, why not?” he said, sending Nicholas a small smile.
Nicholas returned it, but it felt more like a grimace. Normally, Danny would’ve been more excited about the assignment. Nicholas believed he would be, at any rate. Maybe he was just having a bad day? But he seemed fine until he heard the details. Before he realized it was going to be a one on one trip with Nicholas, a trip that lasted for weeks.
Don’t overthink this, he tried to remind himself, but it was too late. Someone else got Danny’s attention, and suddenly Nicholas was invisible again. The discussion was over, people had moved on.
He found his way back into his office, without a word from anyone else.
It was nothing. It really wasn’t.
But, well.
Danny was usually more… enthusiastic when talking to Nicholas.
Nicholas knew Danny cared about him. They were best friends, after all. Of course Danny cared. But something about this trip put him off, and Nicholas wasn’t foolish enough to try and blame it on the back up assignment.
Is it because of me?
Nicholas sighed, resting his head in his hands.
What else could it be?
Nicholas didn’t see Danny again until the day was nearly over. His knuckles rapped against the door a couple times before he poked his head in. Nicholas tried not to worry about the fact that he wouldn’t even walk inside.
“Pub?” Danny asked, just like any other night.
He shook his head, and managed a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Not tonight. You go on, though.”
Danny hesitated a moment, before returning the smile and giving a curt nod.
“Alright. See ya tomorrow,” he said, shutting the door before Nicholas could reply.
Nicholas rested his head in his hands, all excitement from earlier faded away.
Fuck.