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When Wei Ying slipped into his room in the middle of the night, Lan Wangji didn’t think twice. Wei Ying was ever coming up with excuses to slip into Lan Zhan’s bed, always something new.
Lan Zhan, my room is too cold.
Lan Zhan, I think I saw a ghost.
Lan Zhan, if a robber breaks in, we’ll be safer together.
Lan Zhan, I had a nightmare that you animorphed into Professor Qiren.
Lan Zhan, I was lonely.
Lan Zhan, there is a spider on my ceiling.
Lan Wangji knew it was all because his bed was more comfortable than Wei Ying’s, but he never had it in him to argue. Now, he was used to waking up to Wei Ying drooling into the pillow beside him.
This time was different, though.
Wei Ying was quiet for a long while after he’d slipped under the covers. He didn’t whisper out an excuse, he didn’t giggle as he squirmed his way onto Lan Wangji’s pillow. He just pressed his forehead between Lan Wangji’s shoulder blades and took a deep, shaky breath.
He stayed like that for a long while. Long enough that Lan Wangji almost assumed he’d fallen asleep. Then, he breathed out again and spoke in a soft, tired voice.
“Lan Zhan, can I tell you something?”
Lan Wangji made to turn around, but Wei Ying snaked an arm around his middle to keep him in place.
“No, Lan Zhan,” he whispered. “Like this, or else I might lose my nerve.”
At that Lan Wangji’s heart started to race. He was afraid that Wei Ying could feel it from where his chest was pressed to Lan Wangji’s back, but there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Lan Wangji waited on bated breath for Wei Ying to continue.
“Lan Zhan,” he whispered again. His voice was shaking, so Lan Wangji put his hand over Wei Ying’s where it rested on his stomach and squeezed it lightly.
“Lan Zhan, how did you know you were gay?”
Lan Wangji’s heart stuttered in his chest as his grip tightened on Wei Ying’s hand. He tensed up at the sudden question, and Wei Ying must have felt it because in an instant, he jerked himself back from Lan Wangji so that they were no longer pressed together.
“Ah, sorry, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said with a soft, sad voice as he started to get up from the bed. “I’ll go back to my own bed now.”
Lan Zhan turned then and grabbed Wei Ying by the wrist to pull him back down.
Even in the low light of the room, Lan Wangji could tell that Wei Ying had been crying at some point. His eyes were shiny and the skin around them swollen and puffy. He looked almost lost, and Wangji couldn’t help but gather him in his arms and press him to his chest.
Wei Ying practically melted against him and let out a relieved sob against Lan Wangji’s collarbone.
“Always knew,” Lan Wangji said, his voice rough from sleep.
He felt more than heard the sigh Wei Wuxian gave.
His hands were trembling where they rested against Lan Wangji’s chest.
“Lan Zhan, I think I might—” he cut himself off with a sharp intake of breath.
Lan Wangji just wrapped his arms tighter around Wei Ying and rubbed a hand down his back.
“I like girls,” Wei Ying continued, still uncharacteristically quiet.
He paused and took a couple more breaths before he said, so quietly that Lan wangji almost didn’t hear it, “But what if I like boys too?”
He breathed out what was closer to a sob than an exhale after he finished and Lan Wangji took a deep breath of his own.
“Okay,” he said into Wei Ying’s hair.
He was trembling himself, terrified that he was going to say the wrong thing, desperate to provide Wei Ying with some kind of comfort, scared that he wouldn’t have enough words to help.
Apparently that was what he needed, though, because it was like all the tension fled Wei Ying’s body at once.
He let out a shaky laugh as he pressed his face deeper into Lan Wangji’s chest.
“Thanks, Lan Zhan,” he whispered. Then, “I haven’t told anyone else. This is the first time I’ve even said it out loud.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji responded.
They lay there for a few minutes, until Lan Wangji had almost fallen asleep to the soft warm feeling of Wei Ying pressed to his chest.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispered, waking Lan Wangji from the doze he’d fallen into.
“Mn?”
Wei Ying pulled back just enough to look up at him so Lan Wangji cracked open an eye to look down at him.
“Will you kiss me?”
Lan Wangji’s heart leapt up to his throat and his eyes shot open.
He’d been longing to hear Wei Ying say something like that to him for years, but now that it had actually happened, he was too stunned to speak.
Wei Ying scooted as far back as Lan Wangji’s arms would let him.
“Ah, sorry, you don’t have to, Lan Zhan, just ignore me. I can go back to my own bed if you want.”
But Lan Wangji stopped him.
He locked his eyes with Wei Ying. The room was too dark for him to make out their color, but he knew it well enough that he didn’t have to. Wei Ying stared resolutely back at him, never wavering, but his trembling hands caught the front of Lan Wangji’s shirt and tangled in the fabric.
Then, Lan Wangji leaned in, slowly enough that Wei Ying could back out if he wanted to, but purposeful, intent, desperate to finally get a taste of the lips he’d been staring at since high school.
Wei Ying didn’t back away. Instead, his eyes fluttered closed, and he tilted his head up for Lan Wangji to lean all the way in, welcoming.
Lan Wangji paused for just a moment to take in the sight of Wei Ying like that, waiting for him to kiss him. It had his heart pounding in his chest and his hands gripping the back of Wei Ying’s sleep shirt.
When he finally leaned all the way in, Wei Ying sighed against his lips and pressed closer.
His lips were soft and warm, a little bit chapped, but exactly what Lan Wangji had ever dreamed of. Better even, because this was real.
Lan Wangji pressed his lips deeper against Wei Ying’s, no less gently, and tilted the angle so their lips fit together.
At first, there was just that press of lips. Wei Ying let out another breath through his nose that fanned over Lan Wangji’s cheek and Lan Wangji pressed a little farther in.
And then, like someone had flipped a switch, their lips were moving against each other’s in a desperate, heated kiss. Wei Ying pressed up against Wangji, moving his lips to meet his pressure and before long, Lan Wangji scraped his teeth lightly over Wei Ying’s bottom lip.
Wei Ying gasped at the feeling, before leaning farther in and sliding his tongue over the seam of Lan Wangji’s lips.
The moan was unexpected, so there was nothing Lan Wangji could do to keep it in. He was mortified for a split second before Wei Ying answered with his own moan and pressed his tongue into Lan Wangji’s now open mouth.
Lan Wangji let out another soft noise as Wei Ying’s shirt rucked up in the back and his hands pressed against the soft skin of Wei Ying’s lower back. He wasted no time before running his hands up the back of Wei Ying’s shirt, up over the notches of his spine and back down.
Wei Ying let out another groan and arched into Lan Wangji’s hold. The way his back arched had one of Lan Wangji’s knees slipping between Wei Ying’s legs, and he stilled when he realized that Wei Ying was growing hard between them.
He pulled back slightly, but Wei Ying let out a needy noise.
“Lan Zhan,” he whined. “Keep going, please. I need you.”
Lan Wangji couldn’t think. It was like every sense was screaming, Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying.
Lan Wangji pressed his lips back to Wei Ying’s as he rocked his hips forward, and they both gasped into the heat between them. Lan Wangji rocked forward one more time before he broke the kiss and started trailing his lips down Wei Ying’s jaw.
Wei Ying tangled a hand in Lan Wangji’s hair and tugged with a delicious pressure that had him rocking down harder and pressing his teeth into Wei Ying’s pulse.
Wei Ying keened when Lan Wangji bit down, and he met the thrust of Lan Wangji’s hips with his own.
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he gasped as Lan Wangji worked his lips and teeth down his throat and over the crook of his neck.
Lan Wangji would have loved to taste his collarbone, but it was hidden under Wei Ying’s sleep shirt..
Then, as if reading his mind, Wei Ying pushed him back lightly and grabbed the hem of his own shirt.
“I need this off,” he whispered. His voice was ragged in a way that made Lan Wangji’s cock twitch where it was tenting his pajama pants.
“Yours too,” Wei Ying said with his shirt halfway over his head.
Lan Wangji helped him out of his shirt before ripping his own off faster than he’d ever taken a shirt off in his life.
Once they both had their shirts off, both of them now sitting up, Wei Ying took a moment to sit back and look over Lan Wangji. His eyes raked over his chest, over his stomach, catching on the way his erection was straining against the front of his pants.
“Wow,” he said, breathless.
Lan Wangji couldn’t look away from the way he licked his lips.
“Lan Zhan, how can one person be as beautiful as you?”
Lan Wangji didn’t have time to be embarrassed as he looked over Wei Ying.
He suddenly wished they were doing this in the daylight so that he could see all of him. He’d seen Wei Ying shirtless before, of course. They lived together, and Wei Ying was not one for being overly modest. But Lan Wangji wanted to see him like this in the light, kissed to hardness and panting for Lan Wangji.
Then, it seemed that Wei Ying had looked his fill because he caught Lan Wangji’s chin in his hand and leaned in to press their lips together again.
He didn’t waste any time in shoving his tongue back into Lan Wangji’s mouth and licking over the roof of his mouth in a flick of his tongue that had Lan Wangji biting back another moan.
Lan Wangji put his hands on Wei Ying’s naked waist and slowly ran his fingers up his side as they kissed. He made sure to move slow enough that he would be able to tell if Wei Ying wanted him to stop. Wei Ying just kept kissing him, however, so he kept trailing his fingers over the newly exposed skin.
Wei Ying wrapped his own arms around Lan Wangji’s back and scratched his blunt fingernails lightly down his shoulder blades. Lan Wangji couldn’t help but shiver at that, and he slid a hand up to brush his thumb over one of Wei Ying’s nipples.
Wei Ying made a choked off noise and pulled away a little, and at the way he flinched, Lan Wangji pulled his hand back like he’d been burned.
“Sorry,” he whispered to Wei Ying, panting against his lips.
He could feel Wei Ying’s laugh as he scooted forward to straddle Lan Wangji’s hips, fitting into the crook of his body in a way that had their erections pressed directly against each other’s.
“Don’t apologize,” he said, looping his arms around Lan Wangji’s head and leaning in to whisper in his ear. “It felt good.”
Lan Wangji couldn’t help but shiver as he pressed back in to kiss down Wei Ying’s throat all the way to the hollow of his throat and over where his collar bones jutted out against his skin.
Wei Ying let out a needy noise when Lan Wangji bit down on the skin over his collarbone, and he ground his hips down in a slow circle.
Lan Wangji could see sparks behind his eyelids as he moved over and pressed another bite beside the first one to see if it got the same reaction.
“Ah, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying moaned. “That feels amazing. You feel so good against me. Please, don’t stop.”
Lan Wangji had no plans of stopping until Wei Ying told him to, so he bucked his hips up against Wei Ying’s as he pressed his teeth to Wei Ying’s other collarbone to give it the same attention. At the same time, he slid his hand over the plane of Wei Ying’s chest again to flick a finger over his nipple again.
This time, Lan Wangji knew the choked out noise he made wasn’t Wei Ying asking him to stop, so he pressed over it until it was hard and pebbled against the pad of his finger.
Wei Ying writhed against him.
“Yes, Lan Zhan. No one’s ever played with me like that,” he gasped out. “I didn’t know it could feel so good.”
Lan Wangji slid his other hand down Wei Ying’s back until it met the top of Wei Ying’s boxers. He paused there for a second, and when Wei Ying didn’t tell him to stop, he slipped his hand under the waistband.
“Ahh,” Wei Ying gasped as Lan Wangji trailed his hand down until he could grab a handful of Wei Ying’s ass.
“Off,” Wei Ying moaned.
Lan Wangji jerked his hands back with another apology that had Wei Ying laughing.
“Not your hands,” he said. “My boxers.”
Lan Wangji liked the sound of that.
“And your pants,” he said as he crawled off Lan Wangji to tug his boxers off.
Lan Wangji shimmied out of his own pajama pants just in time for Wei Ying to straddle him again.
Lan Wangji’s hiss was covered up by the way Wei Ying all but shouted at the way their erections pressed together.
Wei Ying pressed their lips together again as he rocked against him, and the friction sent lightening up Lan Wanngji’s spine. He let out a sharp breath as Wei Ying ground down again, but the pressure wasn’t quite enough.
When he lined them up and gripped them both in his fist and gave one long stroke, Wei Ying arched against him with a sharp gasp.
“Ah, do that again, Lan Zhan,” he said. His voice was breathy, and from the way he writhed against him and twitched in his hand, Lan Wangji assumed he was close.
Lan Wangji had a million things he wanted to do to Wei Ying, but the way he held them both in his hand, pressed together like this, burning warm against his palm, he couldn’t do anything but stroke faster. Especially as Wei Ying let out a needy sound and thrust his hips into Lan Wangji’s hand to meet his downward stroke.
“Ah, please, Lan Zhan,” he keened. “So close.”
Lan Zhan would have been close just listening to the punched out little noises Wei Ying was making on every stroke, but the feeling of Wei Ying’s cock pressed against his own had him teetering on the edge as well.
Wei Ying buried his face in the crook of Lan Wangji’s shoulder with a cry as he came all over Lan Wangji’s fist, streaking come over his chest and stomach.
With his release easing the friction of Lan Wangji’s hand over them and the feeling of Wei Ying coming apart on top of him, moaning his name against his throat, Lan Wangji followed soon after him with a desperate whisper of Wei Ying’s name falling from his lips.
He let go of them when his hand started to be too much on his sensitive cock, and for a few moments, they just sat there in the dark, panting against each other, Wei Ying nestled in the crook of Lan Wangji’s neck and Lan Wangji smiling into the top of Wei Ying’s head.
He could feel Wei Ying’s smile before he spoke.
“So, I definitely like boys,” he said with a tired giggle.
Lan Zhan felt a lazy smile spread over his face.
Then, Wei Ying peeled himself away and got off him. Lan Wangji didn’t say anything as Wei Ying pulled his boxers back on and tossed his shirt over his shoulder, but he watched him with tired eyes.
Wei Ying turned to him.
“Thanks for helping out, Lan Zhan,” he said before bouncing off to the bathroom.
The silence felt physical in his quick exit, and Lan Wangji’s heart stuttered in his chest when he considered Wei Ying’s words.
He’d assumed that the way Wei Ying had come to him with this and asked to kiss him and let him touch him that it meant Wei Ying had feelings for him too. But maybe this had just been an experiment for Wei Ying.
He lay back on his bed as he listened to Wei Ying fumbling around the bathroom.
Every heartbeat got heavier as the minutes ticked away, and with every breath it became clearer and clearer that Wei Ying hadn’t meant this the same way he did.
Thanks for helping out.
Lan Wangji didn’t feel dirty. Even as his hair clung to the sweat on his forehead and the streaks of his and Wei Ying’s come dried on his chest.
He didn’t feel dirty or used or taken advantage of. How could he when this was exactly what he wanted?
He just felt terribly sad.
By the time Wei Ying came back with a damp cloth for Lan Wangji to clean himself with, he had already pulled his sleep pants back on. He cleaned himself quickly and then pulled his shirt on without a single glance to Wei Ying.
Wei Ying snuggled up to his side like usual and Lan Wangji had the sudden urge to push him away. It was too much and not enough all at the same time.
He didn’t, though.
He just lay there in the dark of the room as Wei Ying fell asleep beside him. He didn’t get a minute of sleep himself that night, mind to busy running in circles, trying to keep himself from acknowledging the way his heart was breaking in his chest.
The next morning was like normal.
Lan Wangji got up with the sun. He detangled himself from Wei Ying’s arms where he lay snoring into Lan Wagji’s pillow, and reached out to brush a lock of hair away from Wei Ying’s face. He stopped himself last minute, as Wei Ying’s words echoed through his mind again.
Thanks for helping out.
They weren’t together, Wei Ying didn’t love him back, so it wasn’t his place to act like it. He wasn’t fooling himself, and it wasn’t fair to Wei Ying.
He didn’t look back to where Wei Ying lay in his bed as he dressed and then left to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea before his morning meditation. He went to the market when he was done with that to gather fresh produce for the day before returning to the apartment to prepare breakfast.
As per usual, Wei Ying didn’t emerge from his room until around nine o’clock.
Wangji tried to ignore the way his heart jumped in his chest when he took in Wei Ying’s sleep ruffled appearance.
“Morning, Lan Zhan,” he said with a bright smile.
He didn’t look any different than normal. Didn’t look like anything had changed as he poured himself a cup of coffee in his favorite mug and leaned his hip against the counter.
Lan Wangji could feel Wei Ying’s eyes on him, but he ignored them as he continued making breakfast.
Then, Wei Ying came up behind him and turned him around by his shoulder so that they were chest to chest. He grinned up at Lan Wangji as he wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji’s neck and leaned in for a kiss.
Before their lips could brush together, Lan Wangji pushed Wei Ying back with a hand to his chest.
“No,” he said.
It took everything in him to refuse, but he wasn’t going to do that again. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
A hurt look crossed Wei Ying’s face.
“Oh, I thought—"
He cut himself off as he took a step back.
"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night,“ he said, no longer looking at Lan Wangji.
Lan Wangji didn’t know how to interpret the look on his face.
“Not uncomfortable,” Lan Wangji said, because it was true. Wei Ying didn’t make him uncomfortable, especially not with what they did last night. “Just not again.”
He turned around so that he didn’t have to see whatever look Wei Ying had on his face.
“Oh,” Wei Ying mumbled. “Okay.”
He was quiet for the rest of the morning before Lan Wangji had to leave for class, and Lan Wangji didn’t know what to think about it.
Wei Ying seemed mostly back to normal when Lan Wangji got back that evening, though he kept shooting Lan Wangji these weird looks.
It wasn’t until Lan Wangji was settled on the couch to focus on his homework, that it was obvious something was wrong.
They usually did their homework together. Wei Ying always sat too close and chatted the entire time, distracting Lan Wangji from his work, and Lan Wangji eventually made Wei Ying focus so that he didn’t procrastinate until it was too late.
That night, though, when Wei Ying pressed close to him on the couch, Lan Wangji felt himself flinch back at the way their thighs pressed together.
He could see out of the corner of his eye that Wei Ying stiffened beside him with a sharp intake of breath before he scooted away. He didn’t move far, just far enough so that they weren’t touching.
They did their homework in silence.
That night Wei Ying didn’t sneak into his bed.
Lan Wangji waited up for him, unsure as to what he would do if Wei Ying wanted a repeat of the night before, but Wei Ying slept the whole night in his own room. This wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, but the timing had his heart clenched painfully in his chest.
And then Wei Ying avoided him the next day. Lan Wangji didn’t see him in the morning, and Wei Ying didn’t text him, didn’t send any memes or pictures of doodles he’d drawn in class. He didn’t even come home to do his homework. He stayed out until Lan Wangji was already in bed.
Lan Wangji fell asleep with an empty bed again, and woke up to find that Wei Ying had already left for the day, his keys and backpack gone already.
This went on for days.
Lan Wangji had the thought that maybe he shouldn’t have pushed Wei Ying away that morning. Sleeping with Wei Ying even if he didn’t feel the same, even if it hurt Lan Wangji, would be infinitely better than not seeing him at all.
After almost a week had passed with Lan Wangji not seeing Wei Ying at all, Lan Wangji was woken up in the middle of the night by someone slipping into his bed.
At first, his sleep-addled mind didn’t think anything of it, but when his brain caught up, his heart began to race.
Wei Ying didn’t scoot closer, seemingly content to lay on the other side of the bed.
Then he broke the silence.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying whispered.
It was the first time Lan Wangji had heard his voice in days and it made him ache for him.
Wei Ying didn’t wait for an answer before he spoke again.
“What did I do wrong?”
Lan Wangji stayed still. He wasn’t sure if Wei Ying thought he was asleep, and he didn’t want to scare him off by giving away the fact that he was awake.
“You said I didn’t make you uncomfortable, but that wasn't true was it?” He sounded so sad. “You won’t let me touch you anymore. You’ve barely even looked at me since that night, and I don’t know what to do,” he said as he took a shaky breath. “I don’t want to lose you, Lan Zhan.”
And then there was a wet sniffle beside him, and he realized suddenly that Wei Ying was crying.
Lan Wangji was about to turn around to pull Wei Ying into his arms when Wei Ying spoke again.
“It’s okay that you don’t return my feelings,” he whispered as Lan Wangji’s heart skipped on a beat. “I understand, but I at least want us to be friends again.”
He was quiet for a moment and that gave Lan Wangji the opportunity to turn around to face him.
“Feelings?”
Wei Ying didn’t look as surprised as Lan Wangji would have thought, so maybe he had known that he was awake.
He sighed.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know,” he said. “You’re too good for that.”
Lan Wangji’s brow furrowed, and he tried to make out Wei Ying’s expression in the dark.
“What feelings?”
His heart was beating quickly in his chest, but he dared not to let himself hope too much.
Wei Ying sniffed again and raised a hand to swipe over his cheek.
“Lan Zhan,” he said with a wet laugh. “I never thought you were cruel.”
Lan Wangji scooted closer, close enough to touch, and he reached over to wipe a thumb under Wei Ying’s eye.
“Not cruel,” he said. “Just confused.”
Wei Ying caught Lan Wangji’s wrist in his hand and looked up to meet his eyes. They were shining in the low light of the moon through the window.
“What’s confusing about me kissing you?” He demanded, voice still sad and quiet. “What’s confusing about me grinding my dick against yours and coming in your hand?”
“Thanks for helping out,” Lan Wangji replied over the pounding of his own heart.
He’d repeated it over so many times in his head that he didn’t even have to think very hard to remember what Wei Ying had said that night.
“Huh?” Wei Ying asked.
This close, Lan Wangji could see the way his eyebrows drew together in confusion.
“You said.”
And Wei Ying paused.
The seconds ticked by as Lan Wangji’s heart continued to beat hard and fast against his ribs.
“Lan Zhan,” he finally whispered, eyes widening as he realized what Lan Wangji meant. “Did you think—”
He cut himself off as his eyes searched Lan Wangji’s almost desperately.
“Did you think I was using you to make sure I liked boys?”
Wangji was surprised to find tears pricking his own eyes. He didn’t trust his voice not to crack so he just nodded.
Wei Ying’s hand tightened around his wrist, and he let out a hurt noise.
“Lan Zhan, how could you think I would use you like that?”
He didn’t know, so he didn’t answer.
Lan Wangji felt his lower lip tremble as he tried to blink the tears from his eyes, but that only caused one to slip out of the corner of his eye and drip over the bridge of his nose.
He hadn’t cried this whole time, and he didn’t understand why he was crying now.
“Oh, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said, so softly, almost heartbroken, and that was all it took for Lan Wangji to fall to pieces.
Wei Ying pulled him close to his chest as Lan Wangji started to cry. It was like once he let the first tears slip over his face, there was nothing he could do to stop more from following, and soon, he was gasping out choked-back sobs against the crook of Wei Ying’s neck.
Wei Ying stroked a hand down his back and whispered words of comfort into his ear as Lan Wangji let out all of the emotions that had been weighing on him since that night.
“I’m sorry, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry I did that to you,” he whispered, brushing a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“No sorry,” Lan Wangji said.
It was an old agreement between the two from since they became best friends. They were close enough that they didn’t have to resort to such formalities as saying thank you or I’m sorry.
Wei Ying let out a wet laugh against his hair.
“You’re right, I take it back.”
Lan Wangji sniffled one last time, embarrassment crashing over him from the way he’d cried like some heartbroken teenager, before he pulled back to look up at Wei Ying so that he could ask the question that was burning its way through his mind.
“What feelings?”
His voice cracked, but he didn’t care, too desperate to hear Wei Ying’s answer.
He could feel the way Wei Ying’s breath hitched in his chest.
Wei Ying paused for a long while. So long, that Lan Wangji thought that maybe he wouldn’t answer. Then he spoke, and his words rocked Lan Wangji to the core.
“I’m in love with you.”
Normally, Lan Wangji would take a minute to process. He didn’t like acting out of impulse, preferring to think both his words and his actions through. This time, though, he didn’t even hesitate before he was surging up to crash their lips together.
It was slightly painful the way Wei Ying’s teeth dug into his lip, but after a second of surprise, Wei Ying let out a relieved noise against his lips and adjusted their angle to deepen the kiss.
Wei Ying moved his lips agaisnt Lan Wangji’s almost hungrily, and Lan Wangji met him with just as much fervor.
He pulled back to take a breath, and Wei Ying pressed their foreheads together.
“Lan Zhan,” he whispered.
Lan Wangji brought both hands up to cradle Wei Ying’s face in his palms as he hummed out a response.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said again. “What about you?”
“Me?”
Wei Ying put one of his hands over Lan Wangj’s on his cheek.
“Do you have feelings?”
Had he not told him yet? Did Wei Ying not know?
“Love you,” he breathed out. “Have loved you since high school. Will always love you.”
Wei Ying’s eyes widened, and his hand tightened over Lan Wangji’s.
“That long?” He asked, breathless.
Lan Wangji nodded and he continued.
“Why did you never tell me?”
Lan Wangji stroked his thumb over Wei Ying’s cheek.
“Was afraid.”
It was true. He’d been so scared of losing Wei Ying that he never dared to say anything. Terrified that he would ruin their friendship.
Wei Ying nuzzled against Lan Wangji’s face.
“You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
Lan Wangji leaned forward to press their lips together again.
They kiss slow and deep, and every time they parted to take a breath, Wei Ying would whisper, “I love you,” into the space between them.
They kissed for what felt like hours, years, until Lan Wangji reluctantly pulled back. His eyes were still sore from crying, and Wei Ying was still shaking in his arms, so he pulled away after one last lingering kiss.
“Rest,” he said, wrapping his arms tighter around Wei Ying. “We are in no hurry.”
Wei Ying sighed against his chest and it almost sounded relieved.
“You’re right,” he whispered. “I think we’re both tired.”
Lan Wangji turned off his alarm, and had Wei Ying do the same. The next day was Saturday, and he wanted to wake up unhurried and well-rested in Wei Ying’s arms.
“Love you, Wei Ying,” he whispered, mavelling in the way he could finally say it out loud.
“Mmm, love you too,” Wei Ying mumbled into Lan Wangji’s chest, voice already clouded with sleep.
He fell asleep with a smile on his kiss-swollen lips and Wei Ying’s warm breath fanning over his chest.
In the morning light, Wei Ying looked so beautiful.
Lan Wangji hadn’t been able to look away after he’d blinked awake to find Wei Ying drooling into his sleep shirt with memories of last night warming his heart.
He’d slept late. The sun was already pouring in through the window, and he was more well-rested than he’d been in more than a week.
He couldn’t help the smile that spread over his cheeks, and his face almost ached with the way that he couldn’t make it go away.
When Wei Ying blinked his eyes open, there was a moment of confusion before he beamed up at Lan Wangji in a way that made him breathless.
“Good morning, Lan Zhan,” he said, his voice rough from sleep. Then his cheeks bloomed a lovely pink and he curled his fingers into Lan Wangji’s shirt.
“I love you,” he said, face embarrassed, but tone determined.
Lan Wangji leaned down to kiss him, breathing, “I love you,” against his lips.
Wei Ying jerked back with a hand over his mouth.
“Morning breath, Lan Zhan,” he said, scandalized.
Lan Wangji made a face, and covered his own mouth, suddenly embarrassed that he’d breathed his gross breath all over Wei Ying.
Then, Wei Ying rolled his eyes.
“Not yours,” he said. “Mine. I’m pretty sure your breath could smell like literal dog shit and I’d still want to kiss you.”
Lan Wangji did not enjoy that image, so he slipped out of the covers to get up and head to the bathroom.
Wei Ying whined at the cold air that was let in, and he curled up farther.
“Lan Zhan,” he said. “It’s too cold. Come back to bed.”
Lan Wangji shook his head.
“Brush your teeth so I can kiss you.”
Wei Ying practically sprung from the bed at that, and Lan Wangji hid a smile behind his hand at the way Wei Ying all but ran to the bathroom.
After they both brushed their teeth and Lan Wangji had washed his face for good measure, they settled back under the covers. Lan Wangji wasn’t normally one to get up and then get back into bed, but for Wei Ying, he would do anything.
Wei Ying giggle as they settled, chests brushing against each other, legs tangling together.
“Lan Zhan,” he whispered into the space between them. “Kiss me.”
Lan Zhan wasted no time in rolling on top of Wei Ying and ravishing his mouth with his own.
He kissed and licked and bit along his lips until they were red and swollen before trailing his lips down Wei Ying’s neck.
“Wei Ying,” he whispered, “can I mark you?”
Wei Ying bucked up against him with a moan at that.
“Yes, please,” he said, breathless.
Lan Wangji felt a jolt shoot through him at every single noise that slipped that slipped from Wei Ying as he worked. Wei Ying never shut up normally, but now, wracked with pleasure, hardening against Lan Wangji, there wasn’t a moment of silence.
He gasped and moaned and babbled non-stop as Lan Wangji worked over his neck and down across his collarbones and down his chest.
He looked up to catch Wei Ying’s eye as he pressed his lips to his nipple and then scraped his teeth ever so lightly against the pebbled surface.
Wei Ying keened and arched against him.
“I didn’t know I was so sensitive here,” Wei Ying gasped as Lan Wangji continued to work over his nipple.
Lan Wangji moved over to give the other one the same treatment as Wei Ying tangled his fingers in his hair to pull.
Lan Wangji couldn’t help the needy groan he let out at the pressure, and he looked up to meet Wei Ying’s mischievous smirk.
“You like that, do you, Lan Zhan?” He asked with another tug to Lan Wangji’s hair.
Lan Wangji released his nippled to hiss out a breath and grind his hips into Wei Ying’s.
Wei Ying met his thrust and then let go of his hair to pull Lan Wangji’s shirt up.
“I need you naked like now,” Wei Ying demanded.
Lan Wangji had no arguments, and they scrambled to get each other out of their clothes.
There was something about being pressed against Wei Ying’s naked skin that Lan Wangji thought he’d never get tired of.
“Kiss me,” Wei Ying begged, and Lan Wangji could do nothing but meet his lips with a hungry desperation.
He couldn’t help but grind against Wei Ying, his cock pressing against Wei Ying’s as they rocked their bodies together.
Wei Ying gasped into his mouth, and Lan Wangji swallowed every noise he made until he broke the kiss and continued marking down Wei Ying’s chest.
He brushed his teeth over Wei Ying’s nipple again, but didn’t linger, making his way to suck a mark into the soft skin of Wei Ying’s stomach, and dip his tongue into his belly button.
He ignored the way Wei Ying’s cock pressed against his own chest as he pressed his teeth into the jut of Wei Ying’s hipbone and bit down just enough to make Wei Ying groan and tangle his hands back into his hair.
He pulled away and looked up at Wei Ying.
“Wei Ying,” he asked, voice hoarse with his own pleasure.
He waited until Wei Ying’s eyes snapped open to look down at him.
“Wei Ying, I want you in my mouth,” he said, desperate for it all of the sudden.
Wei Ying dropped his head back down onto the pillow with a groan.
“Fuck, Lan Zhan,” he said as his hips twitched up into Lan Wangji’s chest. “Yes, please touch me. Put your mouth on me. I need to feel You.”
Lan Wangji wasted no time in leaning down and licking a stripe up the underside of Wei Ying’s cock.
Wei Ying was even more vocal like this, never letting up on his stream of words.
“Yes. Lan Zhan, like that, just like that,” he gasped out as Lan Wangji wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock.
“Oh, that’s so good, you’re so good,” he groaned as Lan Wangji took more into his mouth, reaching a hand down to pump along where his mouth couldn’t reach.
“Mnn, Lan Zhan,” he moaned as Lan Wangji worked his tongue over his slit.
“Lan Zhan!” He shouted when Lan Wangji swallowed him down to the base.
As Lan Wangji’s mouth worked over Wei Ying’s cock, his hand trailed down first to fondle over his balls and then down to circle a finger around his entrance.
Wei Ying froze suddenly, and Wangji pulled his mouth away to look up at him.
There was uncertainty shining in Wei Ying’s eyes, and his hand was trembling as it pushed Lan Wangji’s away from his entrance.
“I’ve never—” He cut himself off. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” he said. He looked almost embarrassed. “I think I want it eventually, just not yet.”
Lan Wangji pulled back and sat between Wei Ying’s spread knees, taking his hands off him completely.
“Sorry, Wei Ying,” he said, cursing himself for making Wei Ying uncomfortable, for pushing too far. “Shouldn’t have assumed.”
Wei Ying sat up as well and pulled Lan Wangji’s face close.
“No apologies between us, remember.”
Lan Wangji pressed a kiss to his lips and then pulled back until they were just barely brushing.
A thought occurred to him that had heat curling in his stomach and his cock hardening farther where it lay swollen against his thigh.
“Would you be comfortable with fucking me?” He whispered.
Wei Ying paused for a split second and stared at him with wide startled eyes before he threw his head back and laughed.
Lan Wangji tightened his hands where they lay on Wei Ying’s waist, and held him as he laughed, reveling in the feeling of it his laughter against his chest.
“Would I be comfortable with—?” He cut himself off with another laugh. “Lan Zhan, you’re amazing.”
Lan Wangji brushed his nose along the edge of Wei Ying’s jawline.
“Is that a yes?”
Wei Ying lifted Lan Wangji’s chin and looked him in the eyes. There was still laughter playing on his lips as he brushed a thumb over Lan Wangji’s cheek.
“Lan Zhan, it would be my pleasure.”
Lan Wangji leaned over to grab lube and a condom from his bedside table, but Wei Ying grabbed his hand that held the condom.
“I’m clean,” he whispered. “If you are, we don’t have to. Unless you want it?”
Lan Wangji tossed it back to the nightstand.
“I want to feel Wei Ying,” he said against his lips, leaning in to press their bodies back together.
Wei Ying’s erection was still wet from being in Lan Wangji’s mouth, and the slick slide of it against his own had him bucking his hips against Wei Ying’s.
Wei Ying broke the kiss with a gasp.
“I don’t know about you, but if we don’t get this show on the road, I am going to come before I ever get inside of you.”
Lan Wangji looked at him for a second with an intense stare before he lowered himself to the bed and spread his legs for Wei Ying to settle between them.
He held out the bottle of lube to him as Wei Ying stared over him with hungry eyes.
“Do you know how?”
Wei Ying nodded and took the bottle without ever taking his eyes away from Lan Wangji.
”I’ve been mid-crisis about whether or not I was gay for like three weeks,” he said with a laugh. “I’ve done enough research on anal sex to fill a library.”
Lan Wangji felt something like a thrill shoot through him when he realized that meant he and Wei Ying could get down to business without Lan Wangji having to do everything himself. As much as he liked the idea of Wei Ying watching him work himself open on his fingers, he also wanted Wei Ying’s fingers in him as soon as possible.
Embarrassingly enough, he let out a moan at the sound of Wei Ying popping the cap open, and he his his face in the crook of his arm as Wei Ying laughed.
“Someone’s eager,” he said.
Lan Wangji heard Wei Ying squirt some into his palm before he reached over to remove Lan Wangji’s arm from his face.
“You have no idea how much it turns me on that you want this so bad,” he said. “Don’t be embarrassed. I want to see you.”
He pressed a slick finger against Lan Wangji’s entrance, and he had to bite back a needy sound.
“I want to hear you too,” Wei Ying said as he pressed in to the first knuckle.
It had been a while since Lan Wangji had done this to himself, and so he was pretty tight.
He had to keep himself from squirming as Wei Ying kept pressing his finger in until it was all the way to his last knuckle. He kept it there for a moment, pressed in as he swirled it around, and then he pumped it in and out, shallow at first, but getting deeper until his finger was pulled out to the first knuckle again.
“I’m going to put another one it, now,” he said, as Lan Wangji felt the tip of his middle finger press against the first.
The fit was tighter, but the pressure was amazing, and Wei Ying moved his finger around alternating between twisting his fingers around and scissoring them until he brushed up against that spot inside him that Lan Wangji could almost never reach on his own.
When Lan Wangji arched his back and let out a surprised gasp, Wei Ying paused.
“Okay, or should I pull out?” He asked.
Lan Wangji panted and ground down against Wei Ying’s fingers.
“Good,” he gasped. “Do it again.”
Wei Ying zeroed in with almost a single minded focus as he searched for that spot again, and when he found it, he didn’t hesitate to work his fingers against it until he had Lan Wangji crying out and grinding back on his fingers.
Lan Wangji barely noticed when Wei Ying slipped the third finger in, but it burned just enough to have him hissing out a breath and slowing his grind on Wei Ying’s fingers.
Wei Ying noticed his reaction and reached over to stroke his free hand over his cock.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, you’re doing so well,” he said. “You look so beautiful worked open on my fingers.”
Lan Wangji keened at the combination of Wei Ying’s words and the hand on his cock and the fingers that had found his prostate again.
“Need you inside,” he gasped out after the burn disappeared under Wei Ying’s ministrations.
Wei Ying let out his own groan and wasted no time in easing his fingers out and prodding Lan Wangji’s entrance with the head of his slick cock.
“Ready?” He asked, pausing as he let out a few panting breaths.
Lan Wangji didn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded.
Wei Ying pushed in just enough to press his head inside and then he paused again.
“Tell me if you need me to stop,” he said.
Lan Wangji groaned and bucked his hips back against Wei Ying’s cock.
“Fuck me,” he gasped out.
Lan Wangji could feel Wei Ying’s cock twitch where it was just pressed into him.
“If you insist,” Wei Ying said as he pushed in.
He had worked Wangji open so thoroughly that it wasn’t painful, and he groaned agaisnt the slow stretch of Wei Ying filling him up.
Wei Ying went achingly slow until Lan Wangji was almost sobbing by the time he bottomed out.
Once his hips pressed against the curve of Lan Wangji’s ass, he paused to breathe and run his hands down Lan Wangji’s thighs like he was trying to comfort him.
Lan Wangji didn’t need comfort, he needed to get fucked, so he rocked his hips against Wei Ying’s.
“Move,” he said, startled at how needy his own voice sounded.
Wei Ying let out a noise at his tone and then gave a little experimental thrust forward.
They both groaned at the pressure and so Wei Ying did it again, pulling out a little farther and then pushing back in with a quick thrust.
It didn’t take him long to find a rhythm, and soon, he was thrusting against Lan Wangji in a way that had him grinding his hips up to meet his thrusts.
“Ah, Lan Zhan,” he groaned. “You’re so tight. You feel so good inside.”
He hitched one of Lan Wangji’s knees over the crook of his elbow, and the angle had the next thrust striking directly against Lan Wangji’s prostate.
When Lan Wangji let out a desperate shout of Wei Ying’s name, Wei Ying’s hips stuttered on his next thrust.
“There?” He asked, but he didn’t wait for a response before thrusting forward again, hitting that same spot.
“Do I feel good?” He asked, breathless. “Do you like getting fucked by me?”
Lan Wangji just let out another moan and gripped the sheets beneath him, desperate for something to grab onto.
“Ah, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying gasped, his thrusts getting harder and more forceful. “Are you going to come with me inside of you? Have you imagined this before, me working you open on my fingers and then shoving my cock into you?”
Wei Ying wrapped a hand around Lan Wangji’s dick as he spoke, and the pressure in addition to the sharp thrust of Wei Ying’s hips and the words he kept saying had Lan Wangji right on the edge of coming.
He just nodded, barely hearing Wei Ying’s words as he continued speaking as is thrusts grew erratic.
“Ah, Wei Ying,” he gasped. “Almost.”
Wei Ying leaned in to press their lips together and he whispered into Lan Wangji’s mouth, “Come for me.”
Lan Wangji arched into Wei Ying’s touch as his orgasm rushed through him. He could feel Wei Ying thrusting harder into him as he started to fill him with his own release.
The edges of his vision spotted black as Wei Ying fucked him through both of their orgasms until he was spent and twitching, both their chests streaked with his cum.
Wei Ying collapsed against his chest, still inside if him even after he’d come, and he nuzzled against the hollow of Lan Wangji’s throat.
His hand was still lazyly stroking over Lan Wangji’s soft cock until he pulled his hips away, spent and overstimulated.
“I love you, Lan Zhan,” he whispered into the silence between them.
“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, “Love Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying moved his hand to tangle with one of Lan Wangji’s, and they lay there for a long while until they had both caught their breath. They didn’t separate until Wei Ying’s stomach growled so hard that Wangji could feel it where it was pressed against his.
Lan Wangji let out a huff of laughter as Wei Ying smiled against his side.
“Hey, Lan Zhan,” he said. “I know we’re doing this kind of backwards, but how about lunch?”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji hummed against the side of his head.
Wei Ying pulled back to look at him with a bright smile on his face.
“It’s a date.”