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Walking through the Red Keep’s halls, Ser Jorah Mormont was a sight to behold in the golden armor that denoted his status as a member of the Queen’s guard. His white cape billowed behind him as he prowled the castle’s many hallways in an almost bewildered and worried state.
Shortly after Daenerys reclaimed her family’s throne and was declared the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, she had wanted Jorah close by her at all times. It comforted her, he thought, having someone so familiar nearby in such a busy and stressful time.
And he had no complaints about the situation.
He enjoyed being around her, especially after his banishment from her side, he came to cherish the moments she graced him with.
At one point in his life, Jorah had wanted to be more than just her general and her most trusted friend, but while he was content with his status as just that, his heart was more fickle.
In trying to ignore his heart, Jorah patched the bleeding hole with a bandage that, though it soaked up the pain for some time, always started to bleed through until he layered another bandage over and reminded himself that he was happy to be her friend.
He had been surprised when Daenerys offered him the position of her Hand after she ascended the throne, but he turned it down, saying that Tyrion was still more qualified for the position. She had been slightly skeptical about it, but eventually agreed even though she had jokingly told him that perhaps she was simply tired of listening to Tyrion talking all the time and Jorah would have been a nice change of pace.
It lightened his heart, seeing the way their relationship was slowly returning back to the way it had been before his betrayal of her was brought to light.
Little by little they grew closer and mended the severed bond between them.
That is...until the past few weeks.
Daenerys used to have him guard her nearly day and night. To the point that Jorah teased her and said that she only wanted him guarding her so she could spend time with him. She had giggled and fluttered her eyes at him, saying nothing for nor against his statement.
A fortnight or so ago, she had suddenly switched up her guard by having one or two of her Dothraki guards by her side instead. Telling him that he deserved a break for all of the service he has done for her.
Frankly...
It confused him.
The first couple of days, he could have understood, but a fortnight into her not wanting him by her side made Jorah wonder if he had done something to displease her. For the life of him though, he couldn’t recall a single moment that would have caused her to become angry with him.
She didn’t even want to take her meals with him any longer, something that Jorah had come to enjoy.
It was as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore and it hurt.
As he turned the corner into the next hallway, Jorah caught sight of Daenerys.
She looked his way and stared at him for a few moments before spinning on her heel and walking in the opposite direction.
Jorah furrowed his brows, her ignoring him completely pained him and he needed to know what he had done to anger her so.
Catching up to her, though he noted that she wasn’t trying all that hard to get away from him, Jorah placed a hand on her shoulder, only to flinch back when she jerked her shoulder away from him touch.
“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked, his voice breaking slightly from the pain and hurt that coursed through his body.
Daenerys remained silent, her eyes falling to the floor. She motioned for her guard to leave them, the Dothraki man giving a questioning look to Jorah before doing as she said and left them alone in the hallway.
“Your Grace...please, if I’ve done something wrong I want to know so I can try and fix it.” Jorah didn’t want to lose her friendship, he wasn’t sure if he would able to survive that again.
Again, she said nothing. Instead she wrapped her arms around herself in a way that made her look smaller, almost reminiscent of the girl that he had met back in Pentos and somehow...that hurt him more.
“Khaleesi please...why are you avoiding me?” He pleaded with her, his eyes watering slightly as he stared at her.
“Because...because I think I’m falling in love with you, okay? That’s why I’m avoiding you.” Daenerys bit out angrily, shooting him a look that had him taking a step back even before her words finally registered in his mind.
“...I’m sorry?” He breathed out, his eyes wide in confusion.
She loved him?
But...then maybe that wasn’t a good thing if she was avoiding him because of it. He’d rather have her friendship and her by his side than her love and this distance between them.
“I’m not supposed to love you.” She stared at him blankly and Jorah couldn’t figure out what he should even be feeling in this moment.
“...” He opened his mouth to speak but found no words coming out, unsure if they were standing on a precarious edge and were about to fall one way or another.
“You’re my knight and...and I’m your Queen. A queen isn’t supposed to fall in love with their knight.” Daenerys straightened her back and regained her queenly persona, placing herself above him in a way of protecting herself, though he knew her well enough to know that her words didn’t hold the bite behind them.
“I never meant for you to...” He let out a deep sigh, his hand coming to rest on the pommel of Heartsbane.
Now that Jorah knew why she was avoiding him, it didn’t make him feel any better.
“I know! But that didn’t stop me from doing so.” She said petulantly, her glare turning to the Keep’s walls as she crossed her arms angrily.
“...Is there anything I can do to help?” He knew from experience there really wasn’t much to be done in the way of getting the heart to listen to your mind, but he would do anything for her.
“I don’t know! Make me hate you?” Her violet eyes found his for a moment until she couldn’t stand the agonized expression on his face and her eyes fell to the ground again.
“Make you...Khaleesi? Please don’t order me to make you hate me.” He felt like she had ripped his heart of his chest and threw it at his feet in that moment.
Even though he had just swore he would do anything for her a few moments ago, Jorah knew that he couldn’t do that.
“...” Daenerys refused to look up at him and Jorah fought back tears that threatened to run down his face, hoping beyond anything that she wasn’t going to order him to make her hate him just so she wouldn’t love him.
“Khaleesi please...I would rather end my own life than live a life where you hate me.” He begged of her to not make him go through with it and he would do what he could to change her mind in this matter.
“I can’t.” With a long, drawn out sigh, Daenerys looked at Jorah with a watery smile on her face.
“Khaleesi?” His heart skipped a beat, unsure with what she meant but hoping that she had changed her mind.
“I can’t hate you. I’ve already fallen in love with you and I can’t change that fact.” Taking a step, then another towards him, Daenerys stopped when the tips of her shoes bumped against his boots and tilted her head up to meet his gaze.
“If I could do anything to make you not love me...I would do it. I’ve never figured out how to stop my own heart from wanting what it cannot.” It pained him to say such. In any other world he would be overjoyed from the knowledge that she loved him, but to know it gave her such pain gave him no joy.
“You’ve always been weak when it comes to your heart Ser.” Daenerys laughed softly, her eyes wandering the planes of his face as her eyebrows turned up in thought.
“Aye...” He breathed off a chuckle and tried to reign in his raging emotions. His heart wanted to rejoice with her love but his mind was berating his heart for taking joy in what obviously didn’t make her happy.
“...What am I to do Ser?” Her voice was soft and small, he wouldn’t have heard her if she hadn’t been so close to him.
Jorah wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say. His mind and heart warred. One wanted to convince her that their love wasn’t a bad thing while the other was telling that other part to shut up.
“Jorah?” Reaching out, she pressed her palm to the golden plating of his armor and met his blue eyes.
“I am...unsure Your Grace...” He dropped his gaze down to his feet, bowing his head slightly as he surely disappointed her with his non-answer.
“...What is it?” Pushing against his chest, Daenerys invaded his space even further and looked up at him with curious eyes.
Remaining silent, he swallowed deeply and clenched his hands into fists then relaxed them as he shifted minutely on his feet.
“Jorah? Please...what is it? Do not hide things from me Ser.” She urged him impatiently and placed her other hand on his chest plate next to the other one already leaving smudges on the shiny metal.
“Is...is it truly bad?” Jorah sighed out at her insistence, finally meeting her violet eyes again and seeing the brief flicker of surprise that crossed over them before she schooled her expression into a sense of confusion.
“Ser? I don’t...” Daenerys started, shaking her head slightly which made her silver locks tumble around her face.
“Is it that bad that you...love me?” It felt surreal to him. Saying that she loved him and he wondered if this was some sick joke or he was asleep and this was all some dream.
But the heat of her in front of him and the pressure of her leaning against her hands on his chest told him that he was awake and she was real.
“I...” She looked away from him and his stomach dropped.
Was she really that disgusted at the idea of loving him?
“You know how I feel about you...and that I would be truer to you than anyone else.” Even though he figured she hated the idea of loving him, Jorah pleaded with her to see that perhaps it wasn’t as bad as she thought.
He has always been a fool when it came to the matters of his heart and now was no different it seemed.
“...I know. I know Jorah.” With a heady sigh, she hide her gaze away from him, instead gracing the floor with her beautiful eyes.
“Then what is it?” He almost reached out and grabbed her elbows, but he restrained himself from touching her so his hands hovered a short distance away from her.
“...” She shuffled her feet, knocking her shoes against his boots and digging her fingers against his breastplate. Her head was tilted down so low that her hair hid her face from his view.
“Daenerys, please look at me.” Jorah pleaded, feeling her slipping from his grasp with each moment she refused to look at him.
He was terrified that she would order him away from her side.
“I’ve never felt like this before. This pounding in my chest or the warmth that engulfs me whenever I look to you.” Her tone made her sound like a lost child and when she tilted her head up at him, meeting his gaze again.
“I’m scared Jorah.” Daenerys looked at him with a soft smile, her eyes glittered with unshed tears before falling back down to the floor.
“If it makes you feel better...just say the word and I will leave.” Even though saying the words felt about a good as getting stabbed through the gut, Jorah would rather wish this pain upon himself if it meant she live without the struggle she was going through.
“...Is that what you want?” She sounded timid and almost afraid of his answer as she leaned into his chest and looked up at him underneath her eyelashes.
“It’s not about what I want Khaleesi. If it eases your pain, then I will.” He said with a sense of despair, thinking that she would send him away.
Jorah didn’t know what he would do if she did.
He couldn’t return to Bear Island, the ghosts that wandered there would suffocate him.
Essos would feel like he was rubbing salt into an open wound as everything there would remind him of Daenerys.
“But would it make you happy?” She pulled him from his thoughts as she ran her palm over his stubbly cheek.
“...No. It wouldn’t. But my happiness doesn’t matter.” He sighed, meaning every word. Jorah figured that someone as disgraced as him didn’t deserve happiness.
“It does to me.” Her fingers pressed into his cheekbone and her thumb ran across his bottom lip as she said this and he could see she meant it. “I don’t...I don’t think I want you to leave. Will you stay?”
“If it pleases my Queen.” He could feel a boulder being lifted from his shoulders at her question, immensely glad that she wanted him to stay.
“It does. Don’t ever leave me again Jorah.” Daenerys nodded and looked at him seriously, her eyes soaking up his features as if she was never going to see him again.
“I will stay by your side then Your Grace and nothing will be able to separate me from your side.” Jorah told her truly and tried to ignore the way her stare caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand upright.
The intensity of her gaze made his cheeks burn and he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly. She noticed the pink tinge on his cheeks and she smiled gently before taking a tiny step back.
“Good. Good. Jorah?” Cocking her head at him, Daenerys bit her bottom lip between her teeth and stared at him sweetly and Jorah had to restart his brain from her little tease.
“Yes Your Grace?” Clearing his throat, he straightened his back to try and regain his composure, but her question threw him off balance again.
“W-will you hold me?” Daenerys batted her eyes at him, watching the way he squirmed at the simple question.
“H-Hold you? I...” He wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted.
Did she want him to hug her?
That...seemed the most likely.
But...
What if he was wrong and he made her angry?
What else would she mean by hold her though?
“Please Jorah?” She grabbed onto his arm and squeezed slightly, smiling at him before stepping closer to his chest and placing her head on his chest.
“I...of course Khaleesi. If that is...what you want.” Letting out a breath he wasn’t aware he had been holding, Jorah waited a beat then wrapped his arms around his Queen.
She was so small in his arms, yet he felt like she fit there like a missing piece of a puzzle that had just found its home.
Jorah was amused on how he could wrap the entirety of his arm span around her and engulf her in his hold. And she didn’t seem to mind one bit, even though her arms could barely wrap around his waist.
“Daenerys.” She hummed softly into his chest, rubbing her cheek against the cool metal of his armor and Jorah wished he wasn’t wearing it so he could feel the warmth of her against him.
“Pardon?” He furrowed his brows at that, tilting his head down to look at her better.
“I want you to use my name when we are alone.” Daenerys looked up at him, looking content and even happy being where she was.
Almost like she had found her home, there in his arms.
“Of course...Daenerys.”