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~ Are we destined to burn or will we last the night? ~
- Dermot Kennedy -
Home.
This building once was his home, but now after everything that happened it just felt empty and cold. The joy of his team was gone they had lost too many of theirs. And he himself, as the leader, couldn't get out of this darkness. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't train. He just felt numb.
Thanos had won and Steve Rogers, the great Captain America, had no idea how to fix everything that had gone wrong.
Thor who was supposed to help them had gotten into a deep depression. Who could blame him? He had lost his brother, the most of his people and the chance to prevent the titan from snapping.
Clint was gone. No one had heard about him after the snap, what caused Natasha to get furious whenever someone mentioned that he had vanished too.
Nat was one of the people who stayed at the compound, while Steve lead some other people through therapy to move on. He had asked her once why they couldn't move on and she had just smiled sadly at him, shrugged and said that this was the nature of heroes. Steve had made her a sandwich and kept her company even as she said that she was fine, but he knew better.
No one of them were fine.
Bruce worked hard to get them information on the stones, if Thanos could use them again. One day he seemed to have a break through but then he threw his papers around the lab that was once used not only by him, but by Tony too and Steve leant in the doorway looking as sad as Bruce was furious.
“There has to be some sign of him!!”
“Bruce”, Steve tried to reach out but the Doctor swatted his hand away.
“No! I have to find him. He's our only chance, he has the suit and even if the suit doesn't work any more he has the helmet. The helmet can record messages and videos and sent them to any SI satellite. There must be-”
“Bruce!”
Steve's firm voice cut through the air like a knife startling the physician, who blinked a little flabbergasted at the Captain.
“Don't ask me to stop. Don't pretend you don't miss him, don't lie to me like you did to him. Just don't! I know that you care about him more than any of us.”
“It doesn't matter, he's-”
“Of course it matters! You have no idea how hurt he was.”
“Neither do you. You were in space, you have no right-”
“Don't give me that bullshit, Captain! I know Tony. I worked with him after you left in 2012 for your self-discovery trip. He had really hoped that the whole team would see what he had done out of the Stark Tower, but no. You all had better things to do.”
The doctor was so caught up in his monologue that he didn't noticed the small light that was blinking on one of his devices that tracked messages through satellites.
“I tell you what. You were-”
“Doctor Banner, Captain Rogers. I'm sorry to interrupt, but there is a message directly sent to one of the Stark Industries Satellites. It was recorded from the Mark L armour”, FRIDAY cut in and Steve's head whipped around to the projection of, whatever Bruce had worked on, while his gaze flicked over to Bruce once more who just stood there frozen.
Steve himself had to swallow hard. His trembling hand pushed some of his grown hair out of his face and he took a deep breath. It had been so long since he had heard Tony's voice. He remembered the moment when his phone rang, the same phone he had sent to Tony hoping that he would call if he needed him. The blonde supersoldier had been nervous to pick up, because he had never actually thought that Tony would call him, but as it rang hope blossomed in his chest and the disappointment was huge when he picked up and heard Bruce on the other end, saying that Tony and Spiderman had gone to space and that Steve needed to protect vision.
“Play it”, the Captain let out, his voice hoarse and full of emotion, when he cleared his throat and then just as the hologram of Tony appeared gasped.
The genius looked tired. Not only that he was thin and his face was sunken. He looked bad and Steve felt miserable all over again. That's my fault! We weren't together like I said we would.
“Is this thing on?”
God, Tony's voice sounded so thin, hurt and just tired. Who knew how long he had been into space? Who knew if he was all alone or if someone was with him? At least Steve knew that he hadn't vanished, some sort of positiveness out of the whole situation. He stared at the hologram, right into the sunken, whiskey brown eyes he had always loved so much.
“Hey, uh, whoever is on earth to receive this, god I hope the most of you are. If you find this recording, don't post it on social media or I sue your asses off. I don't know if you're ever gonna see these. I don't even know if you're all still...Oh, God, I hope so. Today's the 21? No, uh, 22. You know, if it wasn't for the existential terror of steering into the literal void of space, I'd say I'm feeling a little better today. I got stabbed, but the infection's run its course thanks to the blue meanie back there.
Oh, you would love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic. Just like me, I guess. So, uh, oxygen will run out tomorrow morning...and that will be it. Pepper, I hope you're there, I know I said no more surprises, but I gotta say, I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like...well you see it yourself. Don't cry too much about me, Ms. Potts.”
Tony paused, ran a hand over his tired eyes and Steve could see how he swallowed hard and thought for a longer time to even continue he then leant forward, looking intently into the eyes of the helmet and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Steve”, it was only a whisper and Tony didn't even look into the camera his gaze was set to the right, likely looking out of the window into the void he had spoken of and Steve's heart stopped for a beat.
“If you're hearing this, I...uh, I wanted to say that I finally understand why you did what you did. I had a lot of time to think about anything that went down between us and I regret it. Hell. The truth is, Steve we lost and the fact that you weren't there makes me mad and I want to punch you again, but that wouldn't make any sense, so why holding grudges, we both made mistakes and I can't even believe that I am mature here, but hell I forgive you, because when I drift off I don't want to end things bad with you, because I, uh-”
Steve didn't even registered that the whole room shook until the message broke. What the fuck? His hand moved over his face, clearing his eyes from unshed tears that had formed and then looked around. Bruce had left him and he was all alone.
“FRIDAY, what is happening?”
“It appears that a spaceship will land in the next few minutes onto the graveyard.”
A- what now? In a blink of an eye, Steve scrambled to his feet and in less than a minute he stood outside, Bruce and Pepper on either side of him. Rhodey and Natasha behind him, as well as Rocket. He couldn't believe it, but at the same time he didn't wanted to get his hopes up.
As the ship landed and the door came down Steve could make out two shadows in it. Only two. Rocket had told him that his team was likely to be with Nebula, but his team weren't just two people, the racoon had told him about Quill, Mantis and someone named Drax and Gamora. And Steve knew by a fact that Tony was on a journey with Spiderman and Doctor Strange, so two out of eight people was bad. It was better than no one but still, Steve was pretty sure that those two people were Tony and Nebula.
With that thought that Tony just got back to earth and limbed out of a spaceship he started running. He ran towards the opening and when he reached Tony, he quickly slung his arm around the thing body lane, staring down at him, while Tony's brown eyes stared back up. Steve helped him walk for a bit and then Tony stopped abruptly, clutching into Steve's shirt and gasped as he started to speak,
“I couldn't stop him.”
“Neither could I.”
“I-I lost him. I lost the kid, Steve”, the smaller man sobbed, still clutching onto Steve for dear life and the supersoldier had no idea how to act so he just pulled Tony close and walked him into the building.
Maybe this time he wasn't too late.
~ ♥ ~
Once Tony was all patched up and resting on his bed Steve suddenly felt very insecure as he sat besides the sleeping genius. What am I supposed to say? What is going to happen? I don't know how to act around him. I want to tell him how I feel before I lose myself again.
“You're thinking awfully loud over there”, a female voice broke through his thoughts and Steve startled, turned his head and then gave Pepper a soft smile.
“I leave you two”, he then said, about to stand up but Pepper's hand on his shoulder which pushed him back down made him stop.
“Don't. You need to be here if he wakes up.”
“What do you-”
“Steve”, Pepper sighed, “I know everything when it comes to Tony Stark, including his feelings.”
Steve gaped at her, blinking his eyes in surprise, “You mean?”
“I think everyone besides you knows. You two have a talent for not being able to see the way the other one looks at you. Tony never got your pining and you never got his”, she grinned, patting his shoulder in a friendly gesture.
With a sigh Steve turned his gaze back to the man sleeping peacefully onto the bed and then smiled small. She was right. He himself had been so caught up in the fact that Tony could never feel the same that the What if you're wrong? Never crossed his mind.
“But he-”
“No buts. He left you a goodbye message, Bruce told me. Now he's here there isn't a goodbye, so you both get to finally say all those unsaid things. Don't screw it up and don't hurt him again, or I make your life a living hell”, she said, kissed his cheek and then walked out.
“I wouldn't take her words lightly. Pepper is a terrifying woman when she's on a revenge trip”, another voice cut in, raspy and sounding tired.
Steve turned, his cheeks deep red as he offered Tony a glass of water, “How much did you hear?”
“Not much.”
The bigger man gave him a look and Tony chuckled a little, “Okay, everything. So you were pining, huh?”
“Tony”, Steve whined, burying his face in his hands while Tony let out a soft laugh.
“God, I missed you, Steve.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You have increased senses”, Tony muttered and then sighed.
“Tony, I am-”
“No. I forgive you. I meant that. Two years, Steve, is way too long to be apart from someone that makes you happy”, he told him and then reached out for Steve's hand, which the soldier gladly accepted.
“There's so much to talk about, Tony. I am deeply sorry. We should've talked about the Accords. I should've told you beforehand about your parents”, Steve rambled, then felt Tony squeeze his hand and looked up into the brown eyes.
“You gave me a home. And I just, I-”, he continued, tears streaming down his cheeks as he shook his head again and again.
“None of that now. We have a long way to go, but I am willing to try and I do want you to understand that I am sorry too, I reacted to aggressive, but know that I was lost without you this two years. You have become a constant in my life Steve and then you were just gone”, Tony explained, his other hand slowly moving towards Steve's cheek and his thumb caressing the soft skin just above his beard.
“I can't believe you have a brooding beard”, the genius chuckled and Steve closed his eyes with a soft scoff.
“I wasn't brooding.”
“Ah, you wanted to conjure your inner nomad, huh? Or did you wanted to look as old as you really are? Perhaps you wanted to be a handsome as Thor is or-”
“You talk too much”, Steve mumbled, leaning down to press their foreheads together, causing the brunette man to stop talking for a brief moment.
“What are we gonna do now?”, Tony asked, his voice low and his breath ghosting over Steve's face, while the engineering's hands travelled to the back of his neck, holding the soldier close to him.
“We find a way to bring them back.”
“Together?”, the billionaire asked, closing his eyes somewhat afraid of the answer even though he didn't have to be.
“Together.”